Relationships!

[Kelkelen]

Clarity as to being done with each other is one thing, but as to why is another beast. I'd say if you're broken up with (generally speaking) don't kick the bee's nest. If you get the "It's not you, it's me" speech and you don't believe it, I'd still advise on leaving it be. There isn't a nice way to say a lot of the things that could be the problem, but at the same time it could be relatively harmless.

 

(given I haven't had the time to read most of the previous posts I'd like to add that this might be completely unrelated, but I find that it's a decent bit of advice anyway)

On that note, WHY do people find it so hard to accept "It's not you, it's me?" Why is the "dumpee" (so to speak) more eager to find fault in themselves than in their partner?

 

IMO, I think it might be a matter of the "love equation" mindset I mentioned earlier -- people often think, on some level, that if the problem is with them, then at least they have the possibility of changing and making the relationship work again. It can be harder to accept that the other person doesn't want a relationship with you, for their own reasons, and that you can't do anything to change their mind or their emotions.

 

But it also makes me SO sad to see good people constantly wondering if they're unlovable or difficult or made a huge mistake or have some gigantic flaw no one's telling them about. No. You're not. You didn't. If someone leaves you, it's because of them and what they find they need or want or are attracted to. It's not because you suck.

[Silverwingwyvren]

It's good to know I don't suck.

[IvanYouAteMySock]

I've had two relationships.

 

The first one didn't go so well. He was a real jerk. He had asked me out on Valentine's Day of this year and we were having a dance at my school that Friday. So we were going to go to that together. Well, I cried and freaked out because we had ID badges and in order to be able to go to the dance, we had to have our ID badges and if we forgot them, then we had detention and couldn't go to the dance. Well, I had forgotten mine. Thankfully, no one found out. Anyway, the night before the dance, he texted me pretty much telling me that he was breaking up with me. So that sucked and the. I ruined the dance for myself pretty much. But that's a story for another time.

 

My second relationship was great. We lasted 3 months and a week. I, being the brave person I am, asked him out on May 20th. Because I was in trouble, we weren't able to communicate until July. Once we talked, he pretty much said he loved me and that made me feel special. He was a good guy. Then, when school started back up, we didn't have any classes together or see each other so we had to break up. It was sad.

 

 

I currently like someone and it seems as though he might possibly like me back although he claims he doesn't. We had a dance on the 9th of December. I had asked him if he was going and he said "No, it's too much for two tickets.", implying that if he were to have gone, there would've been another person going with him. Well, the day of the dance, my friend was coming home with me and I had been talking with her about the dance and the guy mentioned above asked me if he should go and I said "Sure." He ended up going. He told me after that he had a great time. And he had me hold his flute case at the band concert. And several other things have happened. What do y'all think?

 

[Stromboli]

Turned 21 yesterday. Still single.

[Lila]

Turned 21 yesterday. Still single.

I love you.

[Kestra15]

I love you.

Stromboli, David Tennant, or the Doctor?

[Lila]

Stromboli, David Tennant, or the Doctor?

everything.

[philpot123]

My ex needs to stop being so damn cute and amazing so I can get over her.

[Lila]

My ex needs to stop being so damn cute and amazing so I can get over her.

My life. The story of it /:

[philpot123]

My life. The story of it /:

It's been 6 months this week of her breaking up with me. I'm still not over her.

[IvanYouAteMySock]

It's been 6 months this week of her breaking up with me. I'm still not over her.

It's alright. It'll be 5 months tomorrow of my ex and I breaking up and I'm not quite over him..-sigh-

[Lila]

All you can do is live your life and wait for the feelings to go away, or maybe hope they'll realize you're there and would never hurt them.

 

I still hate my life, though -.-

Edited December 24, 2011 by Lila

[spyro76]

It's been 6 months this week of her breaking up with me. I'm still not over her.

I know how it feels, I'm at 7 months as of yesterday.

[Lieklyxx]

Weeeell... relationships really aren't my thing, unfortunately.

This is including familial relationships, friendships, and of course romantic relationships.

 

I have a good relationship with my momma. The rest of the family's and I's bond is REALLY strained.

 

I don't have any close friends. They all left when I pushed them away with my depression, because I didn't want anyone to get stuck in a rut while I was around.

 

Romantic relationships.... LMAO. I've never been in one per se.

 

This guy and I really liked each other back in middle school. We confessed our feelings to each other, but we remained friends because he wasn't allowed to date well until he was 16. Middle school was INTENSE because of our interactions with one another. We were known as 'the couple', even though we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

... I guess I can see why everyone thought we were dating. We hugged, embraced, held hands (only once... LOL), and did a lot of other little couple-y things. We never kissed. He wasn't allowed to do that either.

 

I had to move beginning my 9th grade year (the middle school and high school were together... he was a grade lower than me.)

 

We remained close until his mom said we couldn't be friends anymore.

 

I was heartbroken when he called me up and told me this. He was the only other person my age that I talked to at the time.

So, after the phone call and laying on the bathroom floor in fetal position crying my eyes out, I had no friends.

 

........

 

 

I sound like such a loser now that I look back at what I just wrote.

heh

[Kestra15]

My ex needs to stop being so damn cute and amazing so I can get over her.

Thankfully mine got a short hair-cut and seemed to have stopped eating since we split up six years ago, so she's not good-looking in any way now.

[IvanYouAteMySock]

Weeeell... relationships really aren't my thing, unfortunately.

This is including familial relationships, friendships, and of course romantic relationships.

 

I have a good relationship with my momma. The rest of the family's and I's bond is REALLY strained.

 

I don't have any close friends. They all left when I pushed them away with my depression, because I didn't want anyone to get stuck in a rut while I was around.

 

Romantic relationships.... LMAO. I've never been in one per se.

 

This guy and I really liked each other back in middle school. We confessed our feelings to each other, but we remained friends because he wasn't allowed to date well until he was 16. Middle school was INTENSE because of our interactions with one another. We were known as 'the couple', even though we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

... I guess I can see why everyone thought we were dating. We hugged, embraced, held hands (only once... LOL), and did a lot of other little couple-y things. We never kissed. He wasn't allowed to do that either.

 

I had to move beginning my 9th grade year (the middle school and high school were together... he was a grade lower than me.)

 

We remained close until his mom said we couldn't be friends anymore.

 

I was heartbroken when he called me up and told me this. He was the only other person my age that I talked to at the time.

So, after the phone call and laying on the bathroom floor in fetal position crying my eyes out, I had no friends.

 

........

 

 

I sound like such a loser now that I look back at what I just wrote.

heh

Awww...I'm sorry...why did his mom say y'all couldn't be friend's anymore? That sucks.

[philpot123]

Thankfully mine got a short hair-cut and seemed to have stopped eating since we split up six years ago, so she's not good-looking in any way now.

Mine seems to get more beautiful every time I see her, which doesn't help the growing ache in my chest.

[Kestra15]

Mine seems to get more beautiful every time I see her, which doesn't help the growing ache in my chest.

Just wait until she puts on weight and gets pregnant four times before twenty, smoking three packs a day. Then you'll feel better.

[IvanYouAteMySock]

People seem to think it's rediculous when you're not over someone and it's been 5, 6, 7 months and you're not over it...time means nothing...break-ups are hard. An some are harder to get over than others. And people just don't seem to understand that...

[Kestra15]

People seem to think it's rediculous when you're not over someone and it's been 5, 6, 7 months and you're not over it...time means nothing...break-ups are hard. An some are harder to get over than others. And people just don't seem to understand that...

Or maybe some of us just get old and jaded and see six months as nothing.

[EternalSpring]

Six months? I would pay a lot of money to be done with my husband for six months.

 

But actually, no. I always joke that I hate my husband and that he's really annoying, but deep down inside me I do probably love him.

 

but i still hate him.

 

i tend to love/hate everyone i meet. hurr.

[Chiaki]

I probably shouldn't have read this thread on Christmas eve, it bums me out

 

I've only ever had one relationship. We were both in the same really close knit group of friends in school and had both liked each other for about 2-3 years before we finally started dating in the last year of school before uni.

 

After 9 months of seeing each other and moving to the same uni (completely coincidental) he had really changed. Made me feel terrible about myself and life in general with his whiny and miserable outlook on everything.

 

Ending it with him was one of the hardest things I'd ever done. But it didn't end there. Next followed 5 months of lengthy and teary (on his part) phone calls and him threatening to kill himself because I was the only good thing in his life and I had taken that away from him.

 

Finally I broke down during one of these phone calls and balled my eyes out in front of my mother and my two friends who had come to visit me. Both heart breaking and completely humiliating at the same time. Broke all contact with him after that. And he's still alive, fancy that.

 

Monstrous experience all round-.-

[Stromboli]

Hmm. According to Facebook today, three of my friends are now in relationships, one is engaged, and one broke up.

What's with holidays and changing relationship statuses?

[IvanYouAteMySock]

Or maybe some of us just get old and jaded and see six months as nothing.

Well, yeah. But at the time I posted that, I was talking to a friend who has her first boyfriend right now and has never broken up with anyone/been broken up with so I had to explain that for some people, it's not that easy to get over ex boyfriends/girlfriends. And I was told by her that I couldn't have loved him because I barely spoke to him. I spoke to him when I could. And half of our relationship, I wasn't able to speak to him because I was grounded. So, that's what she doesn't understand. Just because I wasn't able to talk to him as much as I had liked to doesn't mean that I couldn't feel love for him. She figures I should be over over him because it's been 5 months...150 days...but he's hard to get over.

Edited March 17, 2012 by IvanYouAteMySock

[0ceanDepth]

Well, I've never liked him. He just barges in, insults me, insults my friends (except her, of course), and leaves. She doesn't know anything about this, so she thinks he's great.

I don't know if this is still happening since it's December now, but If he's a jerk and you know that for sure, then fight for your girl(maybe tell her you like her) I know I would love it if someone did that for me, she probably likes you back.