Relationships!

[Lila]

Well, I finally asked the girl I like out, and, of course, she said no. She said that some bad stuff is goin' on at home (namely, parents getting divorced), so she's feeling depressed and stuff, and she doesn't think either of us would be happy if we went out right now. But we're still going to the Halloween Dance, as friends, of course. She also told me that I should ask again in a year or two...

 

EDIT - Post #100!!!!!!!!!

To be completely honest, when you're young, unless you're in a relationship, you tend to move on after, at the most, a several months or a year. If she's going through something like that, you can only imagine how different she may become by the time she's recovered from the experience. The problem with dating young is that everyone is at a different levels of maturity, even people the same age. People accumulate wisdom at different rates, and if my parents divorced, I personally would be terribly cautious about dating for a while.

 

But don't lose hope, she may change her mind. Just be her friend and if she tries to push you away, let her. She's going through a lot, and you can't chase someone who's not themselves. It's tough but you'll make it.

[Kestra15]

0 partners

 

I beat you Kestra ;D

 

For some reason it feels like you just divided by zero... :~P

 

Pink: No judgement from me about your being poly. So long as everyone knows and is fine with it, I don't care how many b/f / g/f someone has.

Edited October 15, 2011 by Kestra15

[Draco123]

Hi I have a problem maybe y'all can help

well I met this girl and we've been dating for awhile but I haven't told my parents oh and I met her on a dating site what should I do

[Katie]

I've had bad relationships in the past. The guys I went out with either wanted something out of me or used me to get a girl jealous. Now I'm with a wonderful guy who I've been friends with since middle school and he treats me right. <3

[pinkgothic]

No judgement from me about your being poly. So long as everyone knows and is fine with it, I don't care how many b/f / g/f someone has.

Yeah, that's my attitude about it, too. Though I do have mad respect for people who don't go to pieces in a monogamous life.

 

In my opinion, cheating is inexcusable regardless what relationship form you're in. Hell, I have even less tolerance for it, since I'd not stop anyone I'm in love with from pursuing other people, so they have no excuse not to tell me about it. :/ Good lord, I'd be furious; and I'd expect my partners to be just as furious if I kept the knowledge of my seeing someone from them.

 

(This seems to be a common position amongst polyamourous people, from my experience.)

[Lila]

REALLY NEED ADVICE

 

got some jealousy issues :s

[philpot123]

REALLY NEED ADVICE

 

got some jealousy issues :s

Lay it on me. I've had a lot of jealousy issues before

[xFlame990]

On the subject of relationships ...

 

Well, I'm only 13, going on 14, so I don't have that much knowledge on it. A few guys have asked me out before but I've always turned them down because I wouldn't know what to do if you were in a relationship. I mean, seriously, what can you do for a date at 13? Go to McDonalds'? (:

[odddude1]

I hate not being in a relationship. I've never had the opportunity to be in one before, the pool of people around here I'm selecting from is very, very small. I've also found that I think in a way that seems to be unique around these parts, which makes just finding friends hard, let alone a relationship (I have very few friends for this reason, too). I have never met somebody who I was attracted to and who was single simultaneously.

 

It gets really lonely, though. I know that I tend to be more attracted to male-bodied individuals, but I don't think I'd be opposed to dating a female or somebody genderqueer. My parents might not be happy, but whatever. I've recently come to the realization that gender is pretty irrelevant to me anyway, and most of it is just taught to us by society.

 

But, yeah. I'm single and it sucks going around town and to class and hearing everybody else talk about their relationships.

[Richied97]

I'm young. Like 14. But I have some drama could someone PM me to help?

[Elirium]

Hoy.

I'm a slight bit of an ice queen myself. I have ridiculously little amounts of empathy; what reactions I can provide are often brought out of polite indifference. My humor is slightly more caustic and "gallows" than most people are used to; when I do make comments, they're often frowned upon for being tasteless, so I don't speak often. Because I'm not used to speaking, when I do speak the language is awkward and stuttering; I will often change my tense and POV in the middle of a sentence, causing me to repeat the sentence over again in the new tense/POV. Because I often cannot speak coherently -- or at least to my satisfaction -- when people talk to me I often end up smiling dumbly at them, because if I spoke I'd just make a fool out of myself, and I want to make a good impression. I may take a fancy to a boy but because of my inability to provide coherent and stimulating conversation in real life no romance will ever be realized.

 

Watching physical contact sends me running for cover; watching other people touch intimately will give me a near panic attack because it just feels wrong, like watching them has violated me somehow. This is especially bad when there's obviously a lustful intent behind it.

It's confusing though; when people put their hands on me without prior warning I (usually) don't have as much of a problem with it. Something about seeing the contact gives me a sense of horror and nausea, and I can't for the life of me explain why -- I used to be able to stomach everything straight up to porn with no problem. I can't even listen to some dirty jokes now without wincing.

 

I have trust issues with men. It is to the point that I carry around a flat-head screwdriver in my pocket in case I am physically overpowered; flat-heads are innocent enough that they won't confiscate it as a weapon, but dangerous enough that it could wound someone badly enough to need an ambulance. I never want to use the thing, and I don't think I will even if the time comes; again, physical contact frightens me because of its potential to go wrong, and though my emotional empathy is diminished I will start to cry if I see someone in physical pain.

So, due to my inability to empathize emotionally, my inability to speak coherently, my phobia of physical contact and my inability to trust a male completely, I've more or less ruled out the idea of ever getting romantically involved with a male, (or a female, for that matter). It would be too much of a mess, and I'm simply not capable of providing for their emotional and physical needs yet.

 

Which brings me straight around to this boy in my Computer Tech class.

The boy's brilliant, to put simply. He's got an insurmountable knowledge of the class and the topic, and he's completely genius with hardware and software. He's knowledgeable of the sciences and has a wonderful grasp on the psychology and nuances of people. He points out peoples' faults, but does not do so in a destructive manner. Seems to lack the "holier-than-thou" arrogance of a CT student and will gladly interact with anyone in the class, regardless of their social standing within it. Very physical, and he doesn't seem to be afraid of putting his hand on someone's shoulder or tickling them. I'm not uncomfortable when he does so, which is certainly a first when it comes to nonrelatives touching me.

 

There are still several catches though. Just because I'm comfortable with physical contact doesn't mean he doesn't intimidate me (not that he tries to) -- the man is 6', possibly taller than that, and he's a bloody black belt in karate. So if anything ever happened, the screwdriver -- or anything else, for that matter -- wouldn't do against this guy, because he could break my arm without even trying. I like this guy to an unhealthy amount, I really do -- but just because I like him doesn't mean that something won't happen. It's the idea of being at someone else's mercy that freaks me out, in the end.

 

And that's what pisses me off the most. This guy is ****ing amazing, he's brilliant, got an amazing personality and knows how to defend himself, and that's precisely why I can't ever be with him. I can't trust anything bigger than myself because I'm blasted fragile and paranoid to boot. The most I can do is croon at him from behind the cover of the internet and get his Skype username if I'm lucky, because the internet is the only place where I am at no physical risk.

[Lady-Morgana]

I have never been in any relationship's, (phew, must focus on school)

But I tend to attract lot's of guy's, which can be especially obnoxious, of course they are all to chiken to ask me out, which is fine by me because they are all cowards and idiots.

 

Drer Ahv-- some people just ain't ment for relationship's, but he does sound great. ALSO>> I like the screwdriver idea... I don't feel comfortable with people touching me either, and I am paranoid of guy's getting "too close" if you know what I mean.... unless I like them, and even then..... But I do understand where you are comin' from.

Best of luck.

[philpot123]

Life's a *. I'm considering becoming a monk. Just sayin.

[little lost dragon]

I'v only been in one relation ship and still am in that one. While yes its online she's the only person I allow to even RP hug me a lot. And admittedly it does feel good. But if a random person does it or even friends I feel odd and depending on the hug maybe even feel like I'm cheating with out wanting to. Touching me is a good way to get on my bad side and get to close and I will leave the area. I don't know why but I'm not ok with much touch of any sort. Hugging and stuff only really my GF is allowed every one else including my mom and sis (whom I live with) I don't feel ok with being hugged or cuddled or anything. Even just playing with my hair will make me glare at you. I know your just being nice ect ect but I just.... unless its my GF doing it I get really uncomfortable.

 

I dunnu why this is but ya. I'm a guy but only one person can hug me really with me having a issue with it. Or touch of any sort. I just.... ya. I don't know why though.

 

The only exceptions to this is when I'm sad and am in need of a hug or I se someone who is in need of one. Only 2 exceptions.

Edited October 21, 2011 by little lost dragon

[Lila]

herp.

Well, I just need some coping techniques for whenever I see other girls flirting with my boyfriend. So I don't explode, since I can't really tell random girls that I would prefer them to be a little less friendly with my man (I really just wanted to say my man). Anyway, I trust him, so that helps a lot. But I still get mad.

[Ksiezyk]

herp.

Well, I just need some coping techniques for whenever I see other girls flirting with my boyfriend. So I don't explode, since I can't really tell random girls that I would prefer them to be a little less friendly with my man (I really just wanted to say my man). Anyway, I trust him, so that helps a lot. But I still get mad.

I don't know how to help you but I know how you feel. I don't freak out or anything, but in my mind, I freak out. Later on I laugh at myself for being such an idiot If you trust your boyfriend, nothing will happen : )

 

 

 

Now, my own personal story, because I'm bored 8D

 

I've always been the loner kind. When I was 14, I had my very first serious relationship with a guy 4 years older than me (a good guy, don't think anything wrong), but it ended very badly, I was not prepared for such a relationship and it ended up eating me. Ever since then, I thought that I didn't need anyone, and I still think about it, sometimes, nothing like the feeling of freedom you get when you're on your own. I needed three years of recovering after I broke up with him, I had a few affairs and even a one-month boyfriend but nothing serious, I just couldn't get myself to be with any other guy. Then, because of some personal drama I recluded myself and stopped going out with my friends, and when I started classes, I started playing World of Warcraft, and I kept playing for months without going out, neglecting my friends and getting more and more depressed...

 

When I decided to quit, I started going out again, I felt so awkward and vulnerable, and I don't know how I agreed to go to some concert with a few friends I thought I had lost. In the concert, I met a guy I had had relatively close for years, but was nothing more than an acquaintance. I don't know how, but I started liking him, and became obsessed for the next two or three months. And just when I decided to forget him, it happened, we were drunk, got closer, and started to kiss.

 

The days before that I felt really bad, he even had a girlfriend (even if they had a very bad relationship) and I thought he was just using me. I tried to ignore him, but couldn't, and things were a bit awkward for the next weeks but I started feeling good again, and he was proving to be a real sweetheart.

 

We started going out a month after that, it was him the one who asked (and I'm glad, because I wasn't going to ask him, I had too much pride and was too afraid of being used), and now we've been going out for a year and three months exactly, and I have never felt better around anyone in my whole life.

 

I sometimes think I was better alone, but then I remember how I am now, and I don't think I'd change it for ANYTHING.

 

I'm such a derpherp.

 

 

[Kestra15]

herp.

Well, I just need some coping techniques for whenever I see other girls flirting with my boyfriend. So I don't explode, since I can't really tell random girls that I would prefer them to be a little less friendly with my man (I really just wanted to say my man). Anyway, I trust him, so that helps a lot. But I still get mad.

Saunter over, smile nicely to the girls, and say in a sweet voice "Touch him again and I will tear you limb from limb."

[Gsea]

Saunter over, smile nicely to the girls, and say in a sweet voice "Touch him again and I will tear you limb from limb."

While I prefer this method, it might get you a restraining order...lol.

When you're around these girls, you could make it obvious that you and him are together. It's not aggressive but, you know, standing close to him will serve as a "back-off" warning to girls trying to get close to him.

The good thing is that your trust him so you have nothing to worry about but I can understand how you might feel irritated

[philpot123]

Here's an idea. Does he encourage the flirting? Flirt back? If so, you might want to consider how much you trust him. Either that or make it clear to him how much it bothers you, and he could kill the flirting next time it happens by either saying something like "thanks, but I'm seeing someone." Or "Hah, that's funny, my GIRLFRIENDDDDDD over here said something like that to me earlier today..." etc. You might not have to do anything, he could shut it down himself

[Lady-Morgana]

Here's an idea. Does he encourage the flirting? Flirt back? If so, you might want to consider how much you trust him. Either that or make it clear to him how much it bothers you, and he could kill the flirting next time it happens by either saying something like "thanks, but I'm seeing someone." Or "Hah, that's funny, my GIRLFRIENDDDDDD over here said something like that to me earlier today..." etc. You might not have to do anything, he could shut it down himself

Yup. 104% correct.

 

_->

ok so this guy grabbed my hand in music and I stepped on his foot, very hard. I was pretty proud of that.

I don't like being touched unless its one certain guy, my friends I'm fine with expect the tazing thats obnoxious, but otherwise if your a guy and you do somethin' like that you will hurt somewhere depending.....

Girls- don't let guys take advantage of you.

Guys- don't take advantage of gal's....

 

 

best of luck,

 

Morgana

[Lila]

Saunter over, smile nicely to the girls, and say in a sweet voice "Touch him again and I will tear you limb from limb."

Is it bad that I've actually done that? lololol...

 

Here's an idea. Does he encourage the flirting? Flirt back? If so, you might want to consider how much you trust him. Either that or make it clear to him how much it bothers you, and he could kill the flirting next time it happens by either saying something like "thanks, but I'm seeing someone." Or "Hah, that's funny, my GIRLFRIENDDDDDD over here said something like that to me earlier today..." etc. You might not have to do anything, he could shut it down himself tongue.gif

 

He doesn't encourage it at all lol. He doesn't flirt back and he doesn't really accept flirtatious comments. Most of the time, he's actually really rude to other girls, so it's kinda weird when he's actually polite, but understandable...I've just like had really bad experiences with trusting guys that didn't really deserve such trust. So it's hard for me to trust him but I know he wouldn't deliberately hurt me.

 

A lot of my jealousy stems from myself, which is why I try to control it instead of act out on others when my feelings are stirred deeply.

[7hippo7]

Please don't do the one thing I'm thinking of. >.> Do you mind if I ask how he did it, as long as it doesn't upset you more? What I would do as far as the friends are concerned is to tell them that you need some time to yourself to think about things. If they are good friends they'll understand and let you have your space. It will be hard to forget about him, it's never easy. All you can really do is take it one day at a time. (Horrible advice, I know)

Woah. I feel bad. Never saw this...

 

We did talk things over. I am still really broken up over it, but still on one piece as well. It mostly hurts that sometimes he acts affectionate and then suddenly cold. I am not good at dealing with it so I keep getting hurt. It's awful.

[Lila]

Boyfriend

 

I no has one anymore </3

[kittygrl]

my boyfriend *sigh* is extreme protective over me, but im learning to deal with it. He has been such a good influence on me though ^^ the only thing that really really really bugs me, is i feel like he holds yugi-oh higher than me. (yes he plays yugi-oh. he is quite nerdy) i can be upset and he will keep playing and almost ignore me, he may put his hand on my back, but other than that... yugi-oh will still go on. though he is the champion in our area... and he refuses to talk about things 80% of the time. i would like some advice on this.

[Xyzaq]

i'm a frosh in high school, so i haven't really had a boyfriend i could say much about. and i go to an all-girls school. go figure.

 

kittygrl: confront him about it. not in an ultimatum way, but more of a i-don't-mind-if-you-play-yugi-oh-just-don't-put-it-before-me kind of way.