Relationships!

[Titan]

Well, talk about relationships here! But please, don't post just to say that you have one, and PLEASE, no arguing whatsoever. These things got it closed on other places, and I don't want it closed here.

 

So, for the past few years, I've been friends with this really nice girl, and I'm just now realizing that I like her. Lately, she's been nicer to me than usual, so I'm alittle confused. Any advice?

[klinneah]

Get closer to her! And I don't mean physically - invite her into your circle of friends (your 'closer circle' so to speak) and make her feel welcome when you two hang out. Don't feel the need to rush anything, take your time. In that "I'm just now realizing I like you" phase people have a tendency to overanalyze everything (I know I do!) so don't sweat the small stuff. Let the friendship develop naturally.

 

(This is all coming from personal experience, and your question reminds me of the early stages of my relationship with my current boyfriend, so if you have any more questions about the girl side of things I'll be happy to help.)

[Titan]

Thanks! I'm glad I got some advice! She's already one of my best friends (I don't have many friends, so that's a given), but I'll definitely try to slowly get closer to her!

[Gsea]

Relationships. I know from experience that you should wait until you're at least...15 or older to date. Any younger and it's just pointless.

 

Then again, I guess it depends on the kind of relationship. If you're looking for just a keeps-me-company-and-is-like-a-friend-only-closer kind of person, then there is no limit in age. But prepare to be attacked- everyone is obsessed with who's going out with who at these ages (teen and under). If you like someone in a more intimate kind of way, then gosh yes, wait until your older for goodness sake.

 

I dated a guy I sort-of liked last year (I was 12 then) and broke up with him after three days of it because I realized how pointless it was. It also depends on the kind of person you are- are you willing to sacrifice your time to hold hands with this person and spend as much time with their friends as you do with yours, or are you just not ready to face that? As you get older relationships have a lot more meaning...I'll stop there, younger audiences.

 

(For the record, I'm talking to "you" as in people in general, not just "you" as in you specifically.)

[dragon_mando]

I'm twenty and still not sure I'm ready for a relationship I have a handful of friends I consider family, and I have dated in the past, but at this point I think the kind of relationship I'm after isn't something I'll find in someone my age. Which kind of sucks, because there's someone I like and who's admitted to liking me back, but I feel like taking things to the next level is a bad idea unless I find out they want the same thing from a relationship that I do--and are willing to long-distance date until one of us can transfer schools to be closer to the other.

 

Derp. I cracked, we're dating now

Edited October 11, 2011 by dragon_mando

[padfoot]

I have been in a relationship with the same girl since we were in 8th grade, four years ago. We have stayed together all through high school and I plan on letting her move in in January. I love this girl. she is even the one who got me started in DC .

[philpot123]

My relationships with my immediate family are strained at best.

 

My relationship with my grandmother was great... and she died.

 

I've loved one girl. I've had one girlfriend. She broke up with me because of my overbearing mother.

 

Oh, and I don't know that many people actually consider me a friend.

 

So I don't have too many healthy relationships

[aurora-australis]

I'm 22 and am still together with only guy I've ever dated. We started dating long-distance when I was 14. We met on an anime forum and started talking on the phone shortly after, then some time later we began taking trips to visit each other. A few years ago, we moved in together. I love him so much. c:

[little lost dragon]

Right now I'm with some one online. But so far we'v been dating for almost around 6-7 months now. It would be our first year in the spring. We did have one break up but after a few things we got back together and so far love each other to bits. Though communication is strained due to her lo longer having her own computer and not allowed to make long distance phone calls we do see each other still though. We promised to not ditch each other and I got plans to see her in 2 years. (cause thats when I finish schooling and then I'm able to go.... mom's rules)

 

[Pink]

Why is there a exclamation mark at the end of that word? I'd probably say something more like "Relationships." or "Relationships? D:".

But you know, that's just because I think relationships aren't really something to be excited about.

 

I don't do romantic relationships.

I imagine if I found a nice boy to take over and rule the world with I might consider it, but those don't come around every day, you know.

Otherwise I'm just not all that interested. It's just... really low on my list of priorities. Somewhere between learning competitive tennis and getting a pet alligator from Australia.

 

In fact, considering some of the stories I've heard, I'd probably be better off with the alligator.

 

As far as the others.

Relations with everyone in my family is AOK. Except for my idiot brother, which is natural because well... he's an idiot and a layabout jerk.

 

As far as friends... I consider everyone a friend in a way, although I don't quite understand what people define as "friends". I suppose I have friends. I hadn't ever really thought about it.

Tl:dr?

Summary of post: Relationships? LOL, too busy taking over world with zombies. gtg.

Edited October 6, 2011 by Pink

[TikindiDragon]

Been with my partner for coming on 8 years now, and not likely to be splitting from him any time soon. Or ever. I've got a good thing going

 

I've had my share of ups and downs with relationships, though. However well settled I'm am now it doesn't mean I haven't been hurt really badly in the past.

[Stromboli]

Going on 21. Still haven't been in a relationship.

 

No one's ever approached me, and every time I think about how it might be nice to date someone I get distracted by school or work or other shenanigans. I should seriously get on this one of these days. I feel like I'm missing out on life experiences and all kinds of foolhardy choices that I could blame on youth and stupidity. :3

[hazeh]

Long story on my relationship. But it's really unstable right now and I've kind of been in a long state of depression because of it. Before, it was amazing, and I felt like my life was totally complete. I love this girl so much, any future without her doesn't feel like a future worth having. I go crazy thinking about not having her by my side.

So yeah, relationships can drive you insane. -nodnod- But they can also be the best thing in the world and leave you with a bliss far beyond verbal comprehension.

[SkyeDragon]

Meh, I've had one guy ask me out but he was a total jerk and the way that he asked me out wasn't too smart on his part.

 

Other than that, I've never been asked out by a guy before in my 18 years of living~

 

Family relationships=ah-maz-ing! I love my family to death and I can talk to my mom about anything!

 

Friends relationships, I've got two besties, one since elementary and one since freshman year in high school, and a ring of other good friends. I'm not a popular person, but I'm not a loner anymore either~

[Kestra15]

I has one.

[Titan]

I has one.

I should have expected that...

 

Well, it seems that, as of today, the girl I like is going out with someone. And, of course, it's the one human being I HATE. I mean, if you're going to go out with someone, at least go out with somebody who isn't a TOTAL *! I'm angry, sad, confused, disappointed, and upset. But shouldn't I be glad for her? I mean, if she's happy, I should be happy, right?

[philpot123]

I should have expected that...

 

Well, it seems that, as of today, the girl I like is going out with someone. And, of course, it's the one human being I HATE. I mean, if you're going to go out with someone, at least go out with somebody who isn't a TOTAL *! I'm angry, sad, confused, disappointed, and upset. But shouldn't I be glad for her? I mean, if she's happy, I should be happy, right?

No.

 

 

No. No. No. No. No.

 

 

Do not simply "be happy" for her if he really is a *. If you have a reason to dislike him other than the fact that he's dating the girl you care about, then she should know before she gets hurt. If I were you, I would think long and hard about what you don't like about him. If it's something serious (he screws around with a lot of girls, you know a girl he hurt/took advantage of, you have reason to think he'll try and push her into something she doesn't want to do, etc.) then it's definitely best to tell her. If you don't have a good CONCRETE reason, don't go telling her, because she'll just think you're jealous (which you are, not that it's a horribly bad thing, just that you don't need to go compromising your friendship over disliking someone for no reason). I know a girl who has been pushed to sex, attempted suicide, and abandonment of friends and family for a guy she refuses to leave. I also know a girl who dates a guy I thought didn't deserve her, and now he's a pretty awesome dude. So don't rush in and judge, but don't be complacent. If there really is a problem and you really do care about her, she needs to know.

[earthgirl]

I've been in multiple short-term relationships and they didn't work.

 

I think long-term relationships with a person you have no feelings for are a waste of time. When I'll meet my special one, the man I'd feel connected to and be happy to see anytime I am going to know that I want a serious relationship with him.

 

I want that day to come as soon as possible. I don't sweat it. I know he exists somewhere and he's looking for me as well. LOL. Life will bring us together eventually.

[darkshadow5392]

i've been with my first boyfriend for the past 2.5 years

i was 17 and he was 18 (now 19 and 20)

we were good friends before we were going out and we both grew attached to each other but we actually both delayed bringing up the subject cause we were worried it wasnt' mutual and would make the friendship awkward, but turned out it was mutual so we've been happily together since

 

we were lucky, his friends were my friends so we didn't have any awkward "you're friends don't like mmmeeeee"

 

 

i know that people view relationships differently but i have one friend and she even says that she doesn't really like him...and they aren't EXCLUSIVE, but they still call each other boyfriend/girlfriend, i don't know i just don't see the point in being with someone you don't care about

 

before i had my boyfriend my friends would try to match me up with random classmates for stupid things like "oh you both like video games" and i would reply along the lines of "i'm not going to go out with someone for something like that, and if i barely know the person, i need to be close to them that i actually know their personality and viewpoints on certain things"

 

to all those searching for their other half, my advice is just go with the flow, make friends, because chances are the best relationship will spawn off of someone you can talk to and listen to for hours on end, you don't have to be the same but you should share common interests and not have too many conflicting beliefs

 

and if you like someone you should go for it and say something, if the friendship gets awkward well...unless someone's feelings change it was going to be awkward no matter what so i think the best option is to have the statement out there and see how the other reacts

if the one you like goes out with someone else i say you have two options, express your feelings or just be there for them and give your advice

if the guy is a jerk then the best you can do is express your concern, hopefully she will see that you are a kinder more supportive person then him

[Titan]

No.

 

 

No. No. No. No. No.

 

 

Do not simply "be happy" for her if he really is a *. If you have a reason to dislike him other than the fact that he's dating the girl you care about, then she should know before she gets hurt. If I were you, I would think long and hard about what you don't like about him. If it's something serious (he screws around with a lot of girls, you know a girl he hurt/took advantage of, you have reason to think he'll try and push her into something she doesn't want to do, etc.) then it's definitely best to tell her. If you don't have a good CONCRETE reason, don't go telling her, because she'll just think you're jealous (which you are, not that it's a horribly bad thing, just that you don't need to go compromising your friendship over disliking someone for no reason). I know a girl who has been pushed to sex, attempted suicide, and abandonment of friends and family for a guy she refuses to leave. I also know a girl who dates a guy I thought didn't deserve her, and now he's a pretty awesome dude. So don't rush in and judge, but don't be complacent. If there really is a problem and you really do care about her, she needs to know.

Well, I've never liked him. He just barges in, insults me, insults my friends (except her, of course), and leaves. She doesn't know anything about this, so she thinks he's great.

[hazeh]

Well, I've never liked him. He just barges in, insults me, insults my friends (except her, of course), and leaves. She doesn't know anything about this, so she thinks he's great.

If I may ask, Titan, how old are you/what grade are you in? Sometimes the time frame helps a bit when determining relationship stuffs, especially concerning the "rival" issue type stuffs.

[Titan]

Not 100% sure if this would go here, but most of the girls in 7th grade are in a manhunt. Guess who they're hunting; of course, it's me! All I did was say "Some girls at this school are annoying as Hell," in responce to a few girls doing annoying, and look what I got! I've been slapped five times, kicked where it hurts twice, and given the Evil Eye too many times to count. I'm a tiny bit scared to go back tomorrow...

 

And yes, I'm in Seventh Grade. I didn't want to say, because it spawned arguments that led to get this closed elsewhere...

[Lila]

I don't think romantic relationships should be limited to any age.

 

That being said, with age comes more wisdom & intelligence, so if you want a guy/girl who isn't stupid and a trend-follower, you're going to have to either look a little harder or wait until you're older; and you shouldn't be promiscuous when you're twelve. Yea, I know people. I've been lucky enough to meet more than my share of guys in the past couple of years. Not all of them were nice, I can promise that. One was my first love (lol ew gross), another was rebound, one committed suicide, one used me for things I'd rather not recall, one was a sweet fling that deteriorated into nothing, and another was abusive.

 

I have one now that I'm content with. We talked a little bit last year, but over the summer we became best friends. When went down about halfway through the summer, he made me feel better about it all. He's honest, opinionated & a bit harsh, but I can appreciate that. Both he and I avoided getting any closer for a long time, just because we didn't want to ruin the friendship we had, and we wanted to be sure it wasn't hormones or something.

 

But yea, advice-wise, if you want a long-term relationship, wait until you're older. Guys/girls will be more mature, and you'll be more socially developed. So you have less of a chance of making stupid mistakes. Also, don't just decide you like someone when you first meet them. Get to know them, hang out with them. Be friends before you take it to the next level, because for one thing, they may not feel the same way, and another, you don't want to throw yourself into heartbreak.

 

/verbal diarrhea

[monkeyboy225]

Personally I think that relationships are drag as they normally end up not working out one way or another. Don't worry about relationships until your older and are sure that you've met the right person.

[hazeh]

Not 100% sure if this would go here, but most of the girls in 7th grade are in a manhunt. Guess who they're hunting; of course, it's me! All I did was say "Some girls at this school are annoying as Hell," in responce to a few girls doing annoying, and look what I got! I've been slapped five times, kicked where it hurts twice, and given the Evil Eye too many times to count. I'm a tiny bit scared to go back tomorrow...

 

And yes, I'm in Seventh Grade. I didn't want to say, because it spawned arguments that led to get this closed elsewhere...

Well, that seems to be a part of your problem. Seventh grade girls ARE annoying as hell I, personally, wouldn't bother with a relationship in that grade. I "went out" with a couple boys at that age, but they always dissolved into nothingness. And girls at that age can be extremely over dramatic about relationship crap D: Trust me, I was one of them.

x3;

 

In my opinion, they aren't worth it at your age. Relationships will get a lot more meaningful as you get older, most likely during high school. In middle school, kids are so concerned with "who's with who" and gossip and looking 'cool'. Plus it can be rather awkward since you're young, not many parents (though i suppose it depends on the parents) let kids do much with their "girl/boyfriend". Like, I wasn't allowed to date until I was a sophomore in high school. So all I could really do was hang out around school and hold their hand or give them a quick peck