Relationships!

[_Charky]

This thread made me feel better about my 17 years and 3 days of aloneness.

 

I never even had one of those little small-child relationships that don't even mean anything...

 

I guess I'm just waiting for the right guy, but I'm not having much luck.

 

________________________________________________

 

I don't believe in love at first sight. I don't think you can ever be in love with someone if you don't know them properly.

[kittygrl]

This thread made me feel better about my 17 years and 3 days of aloneness.

 

I never even had one of those little small-child relationships that don't even mean anything...

 

I guess I'm just waiting for the right guy, but I'm not having much luck.

patience is key, some guy will come along and make you very very happy.

[Stromboli]

21 and still single.

I think my present problem is, I spend all of my time in the music building or home studying. I hang out with the same ten people all the time. I don't meet anyone new, like, ever.

Buuuuut I've passed all my music theory/history/ear training/piano classes on my first time through, which is more than a lot of music majors can say. So. Whatever. :3

[_Charky]

patience is key, some guy will come along and make you very very happy.

My gran once said I had the patience of a saint.

 

I didn't kno patience could be so painful.

[kittygrl]

well i had to wait for what seemed forever but i have a fantastic relationship with actually a person when i immediately hated. Shortly after meeting him (a day later) i also changed my looks which was funny.

 

i always had strong feeling for the guy im with but not necessarily "love at first sight" because well i hated his guts before he spoke one word.

 

and this is just something i feel is right: its alright to date a friend, it makes the relationship more fun and well you already know each other well enough. im dating a friend and my relationship has been a very fun.

[Lacrilyn]

Ah, I would like to ask for some advice too. Well, there is this guy that I like, but I am unsure if he likes me back. I asked him to go on a date with me to the movies soon, and I am sorta kinda nervous. I am 17 years old and I am going on my first date with a guy. He is really nice and everything, but I dunno how to get him interested. Help?

[kittygrl]

just be yourself, dont be someone youre not then he'll be more interested in the something youre not. but you should be able to tell if he like you back by how he acts around you

[brairtrainer]

 

Erica8798 I'd go for it! However there should be a few things you should keep in mind.

 

1. Are your parents okay with you dating?

2. Are his parents okay with him dating?

3. Why are you interested in dating him(from your post I think this shouldn't be a problem but including it for others sakes)?

4. Are you and him comfortable with dating?

 

If the answers to 1,2,4 are no then don't start a relationship until all are yes, otherwise you're going to face a whole batch of ugly. There are some times when you can ignore 1 and 2 but this doesn't sound like it is the case here.

 

3. Are you dating him for the novelty? because you feel like you should date? because you want to have someone to kiss/five you your first kiss(you can replace these with anything else)? or is it because you simply want to date him? if the answer is the last one and there is no problem with 1,2,4 then I say go for it.

[brairtrainer]

I'd ask him about 2 and 4 then, because if one party in the relationship is going behind parents backs/uncomfortable then its not going to be a postive expirance for you.

 

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that because of age you will eventually break up with this guy, I'm just saying odds are against you. Also. you can make a highschool relationship work (2 years with my senior year sweet heart ) so find out the answer to those last two questions and decide what to do from there.

[brairtrainer]

Ahh...I'd talk to him about it and see what he thinks. If you both are worried about it you can sometimes avoid it. But I'm going to offer you some tips based on my failed trying to stay friends with ex's.

 

1. Realize that you two may grow apart, and if its enough it may not spell the end of your friendship but only your relationship, however typically this will be strong enough to end both. It is a natural occurance that would have happened whether or not you were dating.

 

2. Do not, and I mean DO NOT end the relationship with anything less than a phone call with face to face being the best way to end it. As part of this don't let a bunch of stuff fester that causes your break-up to be drama-filled or messy.

 

3. When you think you only want to go back to being friends remember it won't be exactly the same and there will be a bunch of akward. If this is reached it's best if the break-up is mutual.

 

That's the best advice I can give, there are a lot of factors that include the other person all you can really do is try your best to stop you from acting badly.

[philpot123]

There are two girls I know who are apparently interested in me. As luck would have it, neither of them are the girl that I'M interested in It's not like I'm opposed to dating either of them. I mean, they're both really sweet girls that I enjoy being around, but I just... don't have feelings for them right now. Ugh. It would be so much easier if I did.

 

[Syaoransbear]

There are two girls I know who are apparently interested in me. As luck would have it, neither of them are the girl that I'M interested in It's not like I'm opposed to dating either of them. I mean, they're both really sweet girls that I enjoy being around, but I just... don't have feelings for them right now. Ugh. It would be so much easier if I did.

Good for you for not dating them. I really hate it when people just date whoever is interested in them even when they want to be with someone else. It seems desperate, and not a very nice thing to do when you don't truly want to be with that person.

[_Charky]

3. When you think you only want to go back to being friends remember it won't be exactly the same and there will be a bunch of akward. If this is reached it's best if the break-up is mutual.

I've never understood why it would be awkward if the breakup was mutual. I think it would only be awkward if you let it.

[wintermoon]

Well let's see; I'm 21 going on 22 here in December and have only had 2 relationships my whole life. Both guys were not worth my time and I have been single for around 3 years now.

 

Now when I say those two guys weren't worth my time I don't mean all guys in general. One of those relationships my boyfriend was very ignorant to me and stole money from me a lot among other things while living with me and my family. They say don't regret anything in life but I unfortunately do regret him. It was only for 6 months but it was 6 months of my life I could have spent improving on things I was doing and such.

 

My second boyfriend was amazing in the beginning up until the very last week of our relationship and to this day I've still no idea what his reason was for leaving me the way he did... While we were together he bought me things he knew I wanted but never asked for; games, clothes, even a promise ring and a necklace. My first tattoo was a gift from him on Valentine's Day along with the necklace. I bought him things too as I cared about him as much as I thought he had me, but I was wrong I guess. A whole week before he left me I knew something was wrong but he wouldn't talk to me. In fact, he wouldn't hardly talk to me except for asking me what was wrong then after I would answer him he would always say, "So what do you want to breakup with me?" I kept telling him if he wanted us to breakup he was gonna have to do it because I still cared and just didn't understand. He also barely touched me, listened to me, was ever in the same room with me. In general he distanced himself from me that whole week. What makes it even worse is how he left me and when he chose to. On our anniversary I got a text from him saying, "We are so f*cking over!" And I just stared at my phone like, 'What did I do?' I didn't know what exactly had happened but the next thing I was bawling. I bawled for days especially when I found out that the day he left me, our anniversary, he started to date another girl we both knew. When he left me he took everything with him I had gotten him and later bragged he pawned it all or sold most of it, as for the clothes he claimed he left his ex girlfriend before me have and she took scissors to most of it if I remember right. The only thing he didn't get from me was an XBox360 I had gotten him for his B-Day that year, which was a week and a month after he left me.

 

But anyway despite it taking me months to get over him and to then be fired from my last job because of him, I'm doing far better now! I met a really nice guy here January of last year and have been hooked on him ever since. I recently fessed up about my crush to him back in October and he smiled and talked to me about it. He's been talking to me more ever since and watches me when I'm around and such. He recently showed off his dad's truck once when I was behind him leaving work one night, I thought it so cute. The day before I had told his friend whom I'm good friends with I had seen a picture of it and really like it and the very next day my crush drove it in and showed off on his way home. I think he likes me too, right? I mean there's more besides just that little bit there that we've both done to show we like each other, but I feel almost like I'm stretching this out a bit too far, hahaha.

 

Family and friends wise I'm fairly close with everybody I know and am related to. Me and my mom have cheese grader patches most of the time but when we get along it's like nothing bad has ever happened between us, my dad I'm closest with and have more in common, and then my siblings usually stick to themselves much like I do. I have very few friends that are close to me but I'm always there for them and they're there for me.

 

I don't know what I'd do without most of the people I know in my life to be honest.

[brairtrainer]

I've never understood why it would be awkward if the breakup was mutual. I think it would only be awkward if you let it.

You'd think that but I had a mutual break-up with an ex and it was akward as . There will be some akward as you re-find your place in that person's life. That's at least how it looks to me.

[Kestra15]

Ours is in trouble.

 

Amerylis didn't get the jobs she was going for, and she's no longer willing to move back to the town where I have been offered (and accepted) my Nursing course. I, on the other hand, hate where we are living at the moment and have no foreseeable future here until I become a registered nurse. We've had a horrendous year which has seen our relationship come apart at the seams.

 

So she came home yesterday to split up with me.

 

On good terms, I hasten to add. She was going to make sure I had a place to live while I was at university and it was genuinely cutting her up inside to tell me - and she seemed scared as to just what the news would do to me. I've definitely had a hard time in this relationship and in life in general, and she wasn't wrong about the news being enough to break me. If we split up, I'd cope. I wouldn't be happy though.

 

But most telling of all, when I told her I could fix this, she jumped at the chance. She doesn't want this relationship to end but she just couldn't see any other way to continue it, to make things better. Cue Mr Kestra.

 

We're separating for the time being, in that I'm still moving away to study at university and leaving her here to find a job and get on with her career. But we're only 90min away by train and we've worked out that we can afford for me to have a one-bedroom flat near the university and we can still see each other weekends. Quite how it's going to work out in practise I don't know, and while I don't want to use words like 'desperate' and 'last-ditch' I also don't think we're far off.

 

So...yeah. If anyone has some spare luck or good vibes, I could really do with them right now.

[kittygrl]

well heres some vibes for you. me and my boyfriend have been through rough patches that have seem to shred what relationship we had but we believed we could fix it and we have. if you both really care for each other you will come out with whats best.

 

i think being apart a bit might be a good idea. a lot of people grow fonder of each other if apart. if you feel you are doing the right thing then you probably are. and its great to see you both are trying and thats a great sign. i hope i helped

Edited July 7, 2012 by kittygrl

[wintermoon]

They say 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'. Like kittygrl said, some time apart for the both of you may be a good thing.

 

Actually in my opinion sometimes no matter the situation some time away from each other is a good thing. Now I don't mean like "Hey, yeah I'm leaving for a week and staying with the guys/my girls" type of thing unless you feel that's what you might need or could use a little of. But like every once in awhile have a day, just a whole day, where you go out and do something with a friend by yourself and your bf/gf goes out and does the same or does something they've been wanting to for awhile, etc...

 

Also another old saying when it comes to love, 'if it's meant to be, it'll happen' and 'set them free, and if it's meant to be, they will come back to you'. People who truly love and care for one another are usually able to work through anything especially if both halves are willing to communicate and be honest with each other about whatever might be bother them.

 

I think it's a good thing that neither of you want the relationship to end, you're both doing what you need to in order to make sure it works out and everything is ok. :3

[_Charky]

Ours is in trouble.

 

Amerylis didn't get the jobs she was going for, and she's no longer willing to move back to the town where I have been offered (and accepted) my Nursing course. I, on the other hand, hate where we are living at the moment and have no foreseeable future here until I become a registered nurse. We've had a horrendous year which has seen our relationship come apart at the seams.

 

So she came home yesterday to split up with me.

 

On good terms, I hasten to add. She was going to make sure I had a place to live while I was at university and it was genuinely cutting her up inside to tell me - and she seemed scared as to just what the news would do to me. I've definitely had a hard time in this relationship and in life in general, and she wasn't wrong about the news being enough to break me. If we split up, I'd cope. I wouldn't be happy though.

 

But most telling of all, when I told her I could fix this, she jumped at the chance. She doesn't want this relationship to end but she just couldn't see any other way to continue it, to make things better. Cue Mr Kestra.

 

We're separating for the time being, in that I'm still moving away to study at university and leaving her here to find a job and get on with her career. But we're only 90min away by train and we've worked out that we can afford for me to have a one-bedroom flat near the university and we can still see each other weekends. Quite how it's going to work out in practise I don't know, and while I don't want to use words like 'desperate' and 'last-ditch' I also don't think we're far off.

 

So...yeah. If anyone has some spare luck or good vibes, I could really do with them right now.

I don't believe in luck so, since you do, you can have all of my spare

[Kestra15]

They say 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'. Like kittygrl said, some time apart for the both of you may be a good thing.

 

Actually in my opinion sometimes no matter the situation some time away from each other is a good thing. Now I don't mean like "Hey, yeah I'm leaving for a week and staying with the guys/my girls" type of thing unless you feel that's what you might need or could use a little of. But like every once in awhile have a day, just a whole day, where you go out and do something with a friend by yourself and your bf/gf goes out and does the same or does something they've been wanting to for awhile, etc...

 

Also another old saying when it comes to love, 'if it's meant to be, it'll happen' and 'set them free, and if it's meant to be, they will come back to you'. People who truly love and care for one another are usually able to work through anything especially if both halves are willing to communicate and be honest with each other about whatever might be bother them.

 

I think it's a good thing that neither of you want the relationship to end, you're both doing what you need to in order to make sure it works out and everything is ok. :3

Sadly I do not believe in any of those things - I was in a long-distance relationship with my ex. As you can gather, it didn't work out. Relationships don't just 'work out' on the strength of love alone, otherwise we wouldn't be in this mess.

 

But you are right about the 'wanting to stay together;' it's why I've considered this as being a possibility and why I'm going back on my promise never to do long-distance again. Amerylis said she thinks we can make it work, and that's all I need to make it work.

 

Thank you for the well-wishes guys. I need it.

Edited July 7, 2012 by Kestra15

[brairtrainer]

Kestra a word of advice from someone doing a long distance relationship right now: keep communication open! it will help a bunch, at least it has in my relationship

[Ashes The Second]

I'm just trying to figure out why I messed up so badly with a really good friend and now we'll never date or anything because I did something stupid. She's appointed herself my 'punching' bag because she's gone through... what most humans would die going through. And to be honest, I miss our uncomplicated relationship. I don't trust myself. I just.. don't trust period. I get angry and take it out on her.

[IvanYouAteMySock]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 months now. It'll be 2 months on the 15th. We go skating and we've been to a movie. I am now on vacation for a month in California. I'm rather excited that I only have 16 more days here. I really miss him and I want to go back home. We talk every day on Facebook but that's not enough. Thank god my mom likes him Would've been a disaster if she hadn't. She hasn't been half as annoying with this relationship as she has been with past relationships. Thank god. Now of only I could get my friends to stop bothering me about my relationship. They all say we don't act like we're dating. They should shut up. One has been in one relationship and the other two haven't been in relationships at all. I don't care if we aren't all over each other constantly holding hands or kissing or whatever. It's our relationship, not theirs. We'll do whatever is comfortable for us. If kissing and holding hands isn't comfortable for us, then we're not gonna do it right away or all the time. I think our relationship is perfect the way it is. The perfect date was the last date we had. We went skating and we had a ton of fun and towards the end, we sat outside and just talked. It was nice. Anyway, that's enough about my relationship. I'm done now.

[Moonbeam22]

Does anyone have advice for a girl going back to school soon with a guy she likes? I'm pretty shy, but I want to get to know him better and become more friendly with him (he knows I like him). It would be great if any guys could give me tips on what to do/ say, and what guys look for in girls when they know that that girl likes them. I'm scared out of my wits since I've never liked someone so much, so please help!!!

[KrazyKarp]

Mmm, I do know a girl from school I like. Except, I'm way too shy to talk to her. It kinda bugs me a bit >< If you want you can share advice...