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 Emotional Support, Need a hug or just a friend?
*Silver Fox*
Posted: Feb 28 2017, 11:00 AM


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Thank you. wub.gif Really, thank you, I never thought that getting it off my chest could be so useful. As for what I'm going to do, I still don't know. I wanted to give myself some time to think about what I'm going to do next, but the truth is, I don't want to think anymore. Maybe I've subconsciously given up already, maybe I haven't, and thinking won't get me anywhere, to be honest. I want to dedicate myself to my hobbies, be happy and just distance myself and my thoughts as far away from it all as possible. I believe that's what I need the most right now - some time to be on my own.
VampiricOmen
Posted: Mar 1 2017, 08:02 AM


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George, a budgerigar I've had for more than half my life, passed away in my hands early yesterday morning. I've had a few budgies in my life, but this one was the first and only one to reach old age. I knew it was coming, he wasn't going to live forever after all. He was eerily quite, not twittering at the washing machine or jug in the kitchen when it boiled for the past week. He was 13-15 years old, can't recall exactly what year I obtained him, but he was young. He quite a small bird, even by budgie standards. Beautiful light green spangle. Hated being handled so much that he'd draw blood. Didn't even fight me as he struggled through his last breaths. I didn't know that death for birds was as violent as his seemed. I couldn't do anything to help him other than provide what I though was comfort.

Haven't cried yet, but the waterworks are threatening to happen at any time. Knowing my luck it'll be in public. Probably when I walk past the millet spray in the pet food isle. Or the corn. He loved corn and millet spray, would see it coming and wait patiently for me to bugger off before going at it. Not sure what I'm going to do with his mansion, it's 9 years old and I'm not going to get another bird. Don't think I can give them the attention they need. The house is going to be quieter now.

Going to have him cremated, he's been in my life long enough that burying him at a temporary residence seems wrong.

This is George, taken the day before yesterday.
user posted image user posted image
Pictures taken by my grandmother.
rampaging wyvern
Posted: Mar 1 2017, 08:37 AM


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I'm so sorry to hear that. Budgies are precious birds and George sounds like he was no exception. I cannot give advice as I have an unorthodox way of dealing with passed pets, but *hug*

On the subject of pets, my pet rat Dante is going to have his left hind paw amputated soon. He's had a nasty affliction that just will not go and I fear it's not just causing him pain and discomfort, but could spread to his ankle and even his bloodstream. I don't know how the procedure will go, and I hope it's the best choice.
*Silver Fox*
Posted: Mar 1 2017, 02:25 PM


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I'm so sorry to hear about George, darling! I know what it's like to lose a pet, I lost my first budgie to illness, a lovebird to a severe condition, both were very young, and the pain cannot be described. Sending you lots of hugs and I hope you'll remember him with so much love and a huge smile on your face. <3
And I also hope, rampaging_wyvern, that everything goes well for your precious little friend! <3
VampiricOmen
Posted: Mar 2 2017, 01:48 AM


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QUOTE (rampaging wyvern @ Mar 2 2017, 12:37 AM)
I'm so sorry to hear that. Budgies are precious birds and George sounds like he was no exception. I cannot give advice as I have an unorthodox way of dealing with passed pets, but *hug*

On the subject of pets, my pet rat Dante is going to have his left hind paw amputated soon. He's had a nasty affliction that just will not go and I fear it's not just causing him pain and discomfort, but could spread to his ankle and even his bloodstream. I don't know how the procedure will go, and I hope it's the best choice.

Thank you rampaging wyvern, I appreciate the hug. By unorthodox do you mean taxidermy? I've seen you mention taxidermy in the past.

I'm wishing you and Dante all the best. While amputation comes across as an extreme measure initially, given the circumstances and the possibility of the affliction spreading, it sounds like it would give him the best possible chance at recovery. I'm not sure how amputation would impact ability to climb or walk in a rat, but given their intelligence he'd probably adjust to life in a relatively speedy manner.

QUOTE (*Silver Fox* @ Mar 2 2017, 06:25 AM)
I'm so sorry to hear about George, darling! I know what it's like to lose a pet, I lost my first budgie to illness, a lovebird to a severe condition, both were very young, and the pain cannot be described. Sending you lots of hugs and I hope you'll remember him with so much love and a huge smile on your face. <3
And I also hope, rampaging_wyvern, that everything goes well for your precious little friend! <3

Thank you as well *Silver Fox* for the hugs. He was one of six budgerigars that I kept and the only one I purchased from a breeder from a young age. The rest with exception of one were pet shop purchases, perhaps that in combination with my younger self not having a clue on how to take care of birds contributed to most of them dying young (one escaped). I'm appreciative that I could a least fix my husbandry practices with him and that he could live the rest of his life in comfort.

It hurts to look at his cage, I was so proud of myself for using my first pay packet to buy it. He seemed to thrive in that thing, turning from a timid bird to a more boisterous one. Trying to catch him to clean the cage became a dozen times more difficult, but the sturdy build of it in combination with the space he had was definitely worth the effort.

Do you have any pictures of your birds that you'd be comfortable with sharing? From what I've seen of your posts it sounds like your birds would have at least had a great caretaker. ^^



I've settled on which vessel his ashes will be kept in, it's an engraved wooden box. I haven't quite settled on what to have the plaque engraved with, other than his name. So many of the options had paw prints, or were shaped like cats or dogs. As much as knowing there's a unique option for those animals, it amazes me that there isn't much variety in terms of birds. I certainly wasn't prepared for what the expense will be, this is the first pet that's passed where I've been of an age where I'm financially liable for their well being.
*Silver Fox*
Posted: Mar 4 2017, 10:15 AM


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On the fourth of August last year my mother's friend, who was like an uncle to me all my life, drowned and disappeared in an attempt to save a complete stranger's life, but sadly they were both swept away by Danube into the Black sea in Romania and their bodies were never found. As she couldn't wait any longer, regardless that she never got the body of her son to arrange a funeral, his mother organized a memorial for him today, and both my mother and I went. I don't think that I was really aware of what happened to him until today, I was more in a state of shock and disbelief all this time, but when it all started I remembered him, my late grandma, and my college friend who passed away on the 17th of February, both him and her on the same day, and I broke down. I couldn't hold back tears and I managed to calm down only when I lit three candles so that they could all rest in peace. It's always been hard for me to cope with the loss of someone I cared about, and this... this was probably one of the saddest days of my life.

This post has been edited by *Silver Fox* on Mar 4 2017, 10:43 AM
kyleedj
Posted: Mar 4 2017, 02:40 PM


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QUOTE (*Silver Fox* @ Mar 4 2017, 10:15 AM)
On the fourth of August last year my mother's friend, who was like an uncle to me all my life, drowned and disappeared in an attempt to save a complete stranger's life, but sadly they were both swept away by Danube into the Black sea in Romania and their bodies were never found. As she couldn't wait any longer, regardless that she never got the body of her son to arrange a funeral, his mother organized a memorial for him today, and both my mother and I went. I don't think that I was really aware of what happened to him until today, I was more in a state of shock and disbelief all this time, but when it all started I remembered him, my late grandma, and my college friend who passed away on the 17th of February, both him and her on the same day, and I broke down. I couldn't hold back tears and I managed to calm down only when I lit three candles so that they could all rest in peace. It's always been hard for me to cope with the loss of someone I cared about, and this... this was probably one of the saddest days of my life.

We're here for you Silver. I totally understand the feeling...
prpldrgnfr
Posted: Mar 7 2017, 03:31 PM


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Just need to vent a little.

BF, if *you* want my taxes itemized, *you* can do the dratted thing! Back the eff off!


*self employed independent contractor delivery driver who uses her own car
C88
  Posted: Mar 8 2017, 06:02 AM


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Sometimes I feel utterly worthless. Who am I in comparison to all the geniuses and revolutionary minds out there? Before I die I want to do something significant to contribute, make a mark, do my part that isn't some empty thing. I don't want to end up hovering around with a job that's enjoyable but useless. I want to go into science, or robotics, or some sort of profession which could have me make something of myself and contribute. But I feel like I could never do it. My mathematic skills aren't terrible, but they aren't great either. You need to have a decent grasp of mathematics for a lot of things and I don't. I'm good with literature and writing, sure, but fictional stories aren't really going to do anything. Language is a form of communication, yet at the same time I loathe to be stuck with other unfamiliar people for too long. I'm proficient at language yet I don't like to socialize. I wish to go into sciences or mechanics yet my mathematic skill is inadequate. I feel like I'm floundering in an ocean sometimes. In short, I want to do something significant for humanity/the earth/somewhere that can actually be useful. But I don't have any of the right combinations to do so.

Sorry, I just really needed to vent. Nobody to talk to about this ninja.gif
Shiny Hazard Sign
Posted: Mar 8 2017, 03:24 PM


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QUOTE (C88 @ Mar 8 2017, 04:02 AM)
Sometimes I feel utterly worthless. Who am I in comparison to all the geniuses and revolutionary minds out there? Before I die I want to do something significant to contribute, make a mark, do my part that isn't some empty thing. I don't want to end up hovering around with a job that's enjoyable but useless. I want to go into science, or robotics, or some sort of profession which could have me make something of myself and contribute. But I feel like I could never do it. My mathematic skills aren't terrible, but they aren't great either. You need to have a decent grasp of mathematics for a lot of things and I don't. I'm good with literature and writing, sure, but fictional stories aren't really going to do anything. Language is a form of communication, yet at the same time I loathe to be stuck with other unfamiliar people for too long. I'm proficient at language yet I don't like to socialize. I wish to go into sciences or mechanics yet my mathematic skill is inadequate. I feel like I'm floundering in an ocean sometimes. In short, I want to do something significant for humanity/the earth/somewhere that can actually be useful. But I don't have any of the right combinations to do so.

Sorry, I just really needed to vent. Nobody to talk to about this ninja.gif

You aren't alone in feeling like this-- truly. I struggled with the same sentiment all through college, because I felt like everyone around me knew exactly what they wanted to do with themselves, and I was stuck with the feeling like I would never amount to anything worthwhile or notable. But please, PLEASE don't let that hold you down or keep you from getting anywhere. I was a biology major at first because I wanted to be a veterinarian, but when I took chemistry class, I was utterly terrible at it. I'm not good at math, either, and decided to become an English major. Most people really don't have that singular goal in life where they put all of their energy and effort into achieving that one shining climax of their life. It's very rare. That doesn't mean you won't ever have that moment, though. And please don't sell yourself short. If you enjoy literature and writing, don't wave it off as something not worthwhile. Language and communication has a HUGE impact on our society and our world. In fact, it might be the MOST important thing we've created as a species for our world. Without it, we would not have anything else. How can we make huge scientific achievements if we don't have the language to share it? How can we even dream about creating or discovering something new if we don't have the inspiration to chase after it?
You and your thoughts are worth while and valid. I found my niche as a writer for LGBTQA+ young adult fantasy stories. Yeah, it's a small niche, and statistics wise it's not a very large community that I'm writing for. But its the impact and the need that I'm providing, because as a young queer person it was something that I wanted growing up. Your contribution doesn't need to be grandiose and internationally recognized in order to be important and valuable and useful to the world.
And, if you really want to go into science, no one is stopping you but yourself. You don't have to be a mathematical genius to be a scientist. You just have to love science and want to explore the world with your curiosity. Is mathematics useful? Sure. But we also have computers that are pretty good with that stuff too, and you (usually) have peers and teams to help you through the areas you might not be as strong in. (And as an example, literally all of the veterinarians that I work for now all use calculators for their work-- so you don't have to put all of your numbers through your brain in order to do the work needed)
You can most definitely make a significant contribution to humanity with the exact skill set you have. You don't need to be anyone else but you to do so.
Articray
Posted: Mar 8 2017, 03:58 PM


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QUOTE (C88 @ Mar 8 2017, 06:02 AM)
Sometimes I feel utterly worthless. Who am I in comparison to all the geniuses and revolutionary minds out there? Before I die I want to do something significant to contribute, make a mark, do my part that isn't some empty thing. I don't want to end up hovering around with a job that's enjoyable but useless. I want to go into science, or robotics, or some sort of profession which could have me make something of myself and contribute. But I feel like I could never do it. My mathematic skills aren't terrible, but they aren't great either. You need to have a decent grasp of mathematics for a lot of things and I don't. I'm good with literature and writing, sure, but fictional stories aren't really going to do anything. Language is a form of communication, yet at the same time I loathe to be stuck with other unfamiliar people for too long. I'm proficient at language yet I don't like to socialize. I wish to go into sciences or mechanics yet my mathematic skill is inadequate. I feel like I'm floundering in an ocean sometimes. In short, I want to do something significant for humanity/the earth/somewhere that can actually be useful. But I don't have any of the right combinations to do so.

Sorry, I just really needed to vent. Nobody to talk to about this ninja.gif

I'm just going to start this off saying that I'm a computer science/software engineering student and I've spent the past 4 years studying to be either a sysadmin or software dev and that I'm sorry if some parts don't make sence - English isn't my native language and I have trouble putting some of these thoughts into words.

None of these fields I listed above require amazing math skills contrary to popular belief (at least where I live people think that computer science is just math math math math). A lot of the times, and I speak only for technology fields, things require more of a "sense of logic" than "literal math", in the way that you are given a set of instructions or commands and you have to figure out how to use these to do a specific task.
The same applies to robotics and electrical engineering: you're given a bunch of parts and you use them to build something that will carry out a specific task. This is the basics, math WILL show up and it does exist, I won't deny that, but how complex it is heavily depends on what you do inside these fields. If you're a front end web developer, you won't need as much math as a developer that works on scientific software.

But then you may say "But those fields, even inside CS, that require less math are less important". Well, are they? Google needs a team of front end web devs and designers too. NASA needs a team of sysadmins too. For every big project, every scientific advancing, there is always more than 1 person involved, there's always several roles of extreme importance, even if they're not always noticed. Maybe if you say something nice today to a person on the street they'll go to work more motivated to continue working on cancer research, maybe that good mood will help them make a major breakthrough.

Maybe I've gone a little bit too far with this but I believe each of us matters more than we think. Not on a cosmic level, but as people. I think that the main goal of life is to be happy and make those around you happy, because not everyone is a president or a scientist or a genius, but everyone has feelings and a personal story. Build your story so that you may look back in life and see a happy person surrounded by happy people.
Syiren
Posted: Mar 13 2017, 12:33 PM


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Someone from Turkey got into my google account and it's been freaking me out all morning. I changed all my passwords, but I'm still on edge. Is there more I can do? My nerves are completely frayed.

All I can say is thank god my phone alerted me. They had about 40 mins to access my google. I'm hoping its not too much time to do a lot of damage. I don't do anything serious with money or business online.

Articray
Posted: Mar 13 2017, 01:00 PM


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QUOTE (Syiren @ Mar 13 2017, 12:33 PM)
Someone from Turkey got into my google account and it's been freaking me out all morning. I changed all my passwords, but I'm still on edge. Is there more I can do? My nerves are completely frayed.

All I can say is thank god my phone alerted me. They had about 40 mins to access my google. I'm hoping its not too much time to do a lot of damage. I don't do anything serious with money or business online.

There's several things you can do:
1. Change your passwords to new, unused and very long ones. They don't need to be unreadable or full of strange characters and numbers as long as they're very long. You can even make it a memorable sentence if you don't use a password manager, something like Good_Luck_Bruteforcing_This_Passw0rd42.
2. Set up a recovery email if you don't have one already, make sure it is secure and has a strong password.
3. Set up a recovery phone number either in place of the other email or along with it.
4. Scan your devices for keyloggers and other viruses, if you have an android phone make sure you're not using any extremely shady apps and that your apps aren't requesting weird permissions (this is for Android 6+, things like a flashlight app requiring contacts and email permissions, etc)
5. Change the passwords of things your Google account is linked too, person may have attempted to access something like this

Other than this you should be fine. I'd check all Google services for new content (such as a weird new file on Drive or a ton of likes on youtube vids you've never seen before or even reviews on Google play) and for received/sent emails. If you find something shady you can PM me and I'd be happy to help you figure out what it is and how to get rid of it.
georgexu94
Posted: Mar 13 2017, 06:07 PM


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You can also use two-step log-in where you need your phone to log in. Enter password then a code will be sent to your phone and you put that in too.
Syiren
Posted: Mar 14 2017, 12:37 AM


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It never occured to me to use a sentance for a password. I might defenitely try that. I'll also set up the phone access in the morning for the two-way access.

I've done everything else, and ive double checked every site. Im feeling a little more secure, or least i will once i change the passwords again in the morning. Thank you both. happy.gif
DragonNighthowler
Posted: Mar 16 2017, 12:43 AM


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QUOTE (C88 @ Mar 8 2017, 01:02 PM)
. I'm good with literature and writing, sure, but fictional stories aren't really going to do anything.

Maybe you're striving for some Martin Luther King achievement but fictional stories make people like me very happy. It might not seem like much to you but for me it means the world. I'm the sort of person who struggles to survive in a world not made for them. Everything affects me a lot, I have a hard time trying to accept this is the place we live in. A normal day for someone else means emotional overload for me.

Reading for me is escapism. I value simple, fun, adventure stories where the good guys struggle through troubles to ultimately win. So by all means, write. No matter how small an action might seem, if you're making someone happy or their life a little more bearable, it was worth it.
NoraNora
Posted: Mar 19 2017, 11:59 PM


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I can't say it here, really not allowed to.
I just don't know who to turn to anymore.
After what my father told me to do.
What's the point? There is none if I think about it.
It's just over, it's all over.
SockPuppet Strangler
Posted: Mar 20 2017, 01:05 AM


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QUOTE (NoraNora @ Mar 19 2017, 10:59 PM)
I just don't know who to turn to anymore.

If there's nothing left to lose, it sounds like its time to call the police (or CPS) and talk to them. Heck, start with a teacher if that's less intimidating.
Articray
Posted: Mar 20 2017, 01:14 AM


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QUOTE (NoraNora @ Mar 19 2017, 11:59 PM)
What's the point? There is none if I think about it.
It's just over, it's all over.

On top of what Sock said and for all DC members having similar thoughts to the ones I quoted, remember:
There is always something worth living for. There are always people who would miss you. There's amazing things you will never experience if you do this now. There's a community right here that would be incomplete without you.
You mean something to more people than you think. Don't let your story end like this, keep fighting, because we believe in you, we're here for you and we want you to be happy again.
silver_chan
Posted: Mar 23 2017, 04:38 PM


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/sigh.

I'm so sick and tired of constantly getting in trouble at work. It's not even things that are that important?? Like the last time was someone complaining I hadn't finished doing the laundry by the time first shift got there (I work third shift/overnights). Today, they were complaining about some things that had happened when I picked up an afternoon shift to help out a coworker, that I hadn't helped serve dinner (I was cleaning up a resident and it took longer than I expected) and that I was answering my phone instead of helping residents (I took two seconds to turn off an alarm, then I went to help the resident. I just didn't want my alarm ringing for the five minutes it would ring before turning itself off).

Apparently someone also took a picture of me sleeping and I really wish I knew the context for that because I do not sleep at work. Sometimes I rest my eyes because they get tired, but I honestly, really, I'm not lying, *do not* sleep at work! So that's annoying.

I don't know. The 12 hour shift thing is making me tired enough as it is, but the thing I'm really getting sick of is how people seem to think it's ok to pick on me. Idk how much more of this I can take, but looking for a job is so soul-crushing I'd rather put up with getting nitpicked to death before I start looking for one.

But for censorkip.gif sure I won't be picking up any more afternoon shifts, I'll tell you that much.
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