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Kamiko_Cullen

Warriors RolePlay: IslandClan

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A cat's in a forest with a river going through the middle. In the middle of that river is a sheltered and ferny island. It seems that most outside cats stay away from this island. Maybe the cats that stay away don't like company?

Curious, the cat creeps cautiously to the island, and stumbles upon a group of cats, some old, some young; some look at the newcomer with surprise. A few even growl at the newcomer. It is a clan of cats, not just a group.

A silver-gray tom comes toward the new cat as it surveys the clan.

"What are you doing here?" the tom asks.

The new cat replies, "I was just exploring."

Looking around, the new cat asks, "What is this place?"

"This is IslandClan," the tom meows.

"IslandClan?" the cat asks. It is now extremely curious about this 'clan'.

"We are a clan that lives on this island. We depend on our territory to provide us with prey, and we only take what we need. We never hunt for sport, only to survive. A warrior has to obey the Clan Leader, no matter what. We even reject the soft, pampered life of those kittypets on the east side of our territory. Rogues ... we are under threat from rogues," the tom mews quietly at the end.

The tom pauses, then goes on, looking at the new cat, "would you like to train in IslandClan?"

The new cat looks at the tom, startled. After a few heartbeats, it replies cautiously, "yes."

The tom flicks his tail to signal the new cat to follow him.

Once inside a den, the cat notices a pale brown tabby with many scars. The scarred she-cat looks at the new cat, then at the tom.

"*Rainshadow," she begins. "Why have your brought this stranger here?"

"This cat is willing to train with us for a few days, then decide if he/she wants to become a full-fledged warrior," the tom replies, dipping his head respectfully.

Heatherstar looks at the new cat more closely. After several heartbeats, she asks the new cat a question, "would you be willing to train in IslandClan? The leaf-bare is harsh and prey is scarce. The Greenleaf heat is sometimes unbearable. We need warriors, not a soft mouth to feed."

The new cat could tell that the she-cat was expecting a rejection. Assuming many cats have turned back, it meows, "yes."

"Then you will become a temporary apprentice of this clan," Heatherstar meows, looking at new cat. "You are a strong cat, I can tell. After a few days, you will decide if you wish to stay in my clan. We are under a threat from a large group of rogues. They threaten us constantly and steal our prey. They cross our boarders and attack our warriors. We hope you can help us and show the rogues we're not afraid to attack and defend ourselves."

 

Basic Plot:

You, a new recruit of IslandClan, have been accepted to help fight the invading rogues. You're getting ready for your first day of training.

 

Terms Explained

There are a lot of terms, and here's most of them:

Tom: A male (boy, guy) cat

She-cat: A female (girl, lady) cat

Sunhigh: The sun's highest peak.

Moonhigh: The moon's highest peak.

Moon: A full cycle of the moon's phases. Example: Briarkit was born on the full moon, she would be one moon old on the next full moon. They're like months.

Queen: A she-cat who's expecting or nursing kits

Kit: A cat that is between zero and six moons old

Apprentice: A cat that is six moons or older that has not received his/her name and is in training. They also have duties to the clan, like cleaning out the elders' bedding.

Warrior: A cat who has received their name. They fight, hunt for, and protect their clan.

Medicine cat: A cat who has been trained in the ways of healing herbs for injured or sick cats.

Medicine cat apprentice: A cat who is in training to become a medicine cat. They can also have their name and still be in training.

Deputy: A cat who organizes patrols to reinforce the boundaries of the clan's territory. They also have to have trained an apprentice and be named before moonhigh.

Leader: A cat who has received their nine lives and name from StarClan. They were the previous deputy of the clan and the old leader passed away. The names always end in 'star'.

Elder: A cat who has grown old and feels he/she can't full out their warrior duties. They entertain the kits with their stories.

Kittypet: A cat who lives with Twolegs

Twolegs: Humans

Loner/Rogue: A cat who does not love with twolegs or a clan. They're wanderers, most of them, anyway.

Mouse dung/Fox dung: They're like cat cuss words. Sometimes if a cat tries to catch a piece of prey and fails, they hiss one of these two words.

Mouse brain: An insult

StarClan: StarClan is like the afterlife for dead cats. They're Warrior Ancestors who look after their clan.

Leaf-fall: Fall, Autumn

Greenleaf: Summer

Leafbare: Winter

Newleaf: Spring

 

Territory and Explanation of the Camp

IslandClan's territory is mostly forest with streams running through it. The beech and oak trees provide homes for squirrels and birds, while their roots shelter mice and voles. The streams are home to fish. The boarders are nice and easy to remember. There's a stream serving as one boarder and a moor serving as another.

If you go upstream a little ways past the boarder, you will meet a fork. Take the right path and you will reach a small pool. This pool is called the Starpool, where medicine cats and leaders speak to StarClan.

The camp, as stated above, is sheltered by ferns, with most of the dens made from reeds and brambles. The two dens that aren't made from bramble and reeds are the Medicine cat's den and the leader's den. The nursery is all brambles, to keep out badgers or foxes that stray too close to camp. The Apprentices', Warriors', and Elders' dens are all made from reeds and brambles. In the center of the camp is a large rock, where the leader performs ceremonies.

IslandClan Map

 

IslandClan's past

Born from a traveling group of cats, IslandClan's history is short. It was formed from the division of the group. One wanted to stay, one wanted to keep moving. The ten who stayed formed the clan and the rules. Although little has changed over the seasons, the cats have changed dramatically. They have taken in tough loners and kittypets to replenish the dying clan. After a horrible battle with the rogues, many warriors have died and IslandClan needs cats to survive.

 

Rogues and their territory

IslandClan has sent a couple patrols to deal with these invaders, and their camp is located in a shallow hollow. It is surrounded by pines, with little to no cover for their camp. It's not very far from the IslandClan boarder, several foxlengths, but it's close enough to the boarder to make IslandClan worry. Their motives for moving onto IslandClan territory are unknown so far, and the Clan doesn't know where they came from.

 

Rules of IslandClan:

1: No God-modding. It's annoying, rude, and not fun for the other RPers. (PM me if you don't know what god-modding is)

2: No playing others' characters.

3: You can't, I repeat, CAN'T kill others' cats without their permission.

4: In your character's form, you MUST put the password in order to join IslandClan. The password is marked with an *. THIS IS NOT YOUR DRAGCAVE PASSWORD!

5: In IslandClan, we hunt a variety of prey: Mice, voles, fish, the occasional rabbit, thrushes, etc.

6: No hundred plus moon cats, please (unless you're the leader). It's annoying.

7: Warriors normally retire after 50 moons.

8: No Double posts (unless you're bumping)

9: No posting an unapproved character.

10: Have fun and Enjoy!

 

Character Form:

Username: (Forum Username/nickname)

Name: (Your cat's name)

Age: (In moons, please!)

Gender: (Tom, she-cat)

Position: (Warrior, Queen, Loner)

Personality: (How does your cat act)

Description: (What your cat looks like)

History: (Background. Where did your cat come from?)

Other: (Anything else I should know?)

Password: (Please edit your post once it's accepted to not show this. wink.gif)

 

Cats of IslandClan:

Leader: Heatherstar (NUP#)

Deputy: Shadowheart (TrueDrago)

Medicine Cat: Mousetalon (dangershy)

Medicine Cat Apprentice: Midnightpaw (Azteck)

Warriors:

Rainshadow (StarClan)

Featherpool (dinogirl71)

Ravenshadow (mrmcafee)

Ivorystorm (Jay)

Moondust (mrmcafee) (Deceased)

Mapleleaf (Moonbeam22)

Apprentices:

Hazelpaw (Denwayasha)

Janglepaw (mrmcafee)

Willowpaw (mrmcafee)

Queens:

Streakflame (KC)

Crystalflight (Denwaysha)

Firespirit (LRS)

Kits:

Dawnkit (ScaredShadows)

Flamekit (Truedrago)

Angelkit (KC)

Mysterykit (AppleCakes)

Dustkit (Eskies)

Blazekit (mrmcafee)

Crookedkit (mrmcafee)

Hazekit (LRS)

Leafkit(LRS)

Tigerkit (Orange)

 

Elders:

 

Rogues:

Rag

Gorse

Kit

Kink

Flame

Sylvia

Boulder(fur) (mrmcafee)

 

Cats outside IslandClan:

Streak (Eskies)

 

Mates (Cats with mates. Please PM me if you'd like to be added (with your cats names))

Crystalflight-> Deceased

Streakflame-> Rainshadow (Deceased)

 

Mentors (Same rule for mates)

Shadowheart-> Hazelpaw

Edited by Kamiko_Cullen

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Rped Cats!

Username: KC

Name: Streakflame

Age: Approx. 30 moons

Gender: She-cat

Position: Queen

Description: Black she-cat with white paws, chest, muzzle, a white lightning-shaped streak on her sides, and amber eyes.

History: A kit from FlameClan, her clan was slaughtered by their rivals, DewClan. Terrified for her life after the war, she ran to IslandClan to escape DewClan.

Other: She's expecting Rainshadow's kits.

 

Username: Azteck

Name: Midnightpaw (Midnightsky when a warrior please.)

Age: 6 1/2 moons

Gender: Tom

Position: apprentice

Personality: He is kind and gentle, but also very brave.

Description: His pelt is pitch black with tiny white specks covering it. You can only see the specks in the shade or at night. They seem to glow slightly. His eyes are silver (like the full moon). They also seem to glow, but brighter than his pelt specks.

History: He was born in the clan. He was born on the night of a full moon.

Other: I love warrior cat roleplays

 

Username:ScaredShadows

Name: DawnKit

Age: 1 moon

Gender: Tom

Position: Kit

Description: Orange tom with white paws and black tail-tip.

Other: Very Playful and Mischievous

 

Username: Truedrago

Name: Shadowheart

Age: 26 moons

Gender: tom

Position: deputy

Personality: He is a very fun and kind tom. He trys to act tuff on the outside but he is caring.

Description: Jet-Black with Emerald-Green eyes

History: Normal

Other: Skillful fighter

 

Username: Truedrago

Name: Firekit

Age: 1 moon

Gender: tom

Position: Kit

Personality: Nothing yet

Description: An orange tom with darker stripes all over him.

History: Normal

Other:Nothing

 

Username: Denwayasha

Name: Hazelpaw (Hazelwind)

Age: 7 moons

Gender: She-cat

Position: Apprentice

Personality: Quiet and sometimes shy, but will defend what she thinks is right. Often naive. Loves to have fun.

Description: Amber-eyed brown tabby with white muzzle, chest, and belly. White toes on both front paws and left back paw. Petite, yet quick and agile.

History: Used to be a kittypet, but when her Housefolk moved away, they left her behind. She came to IslandClan by accident, she walked into camp while looking for her Twolegs.

Other:

 

Username: KC

Name: Angelkit

Age: 1 moon

Gender: She-cat

Position: Kit

Personality: Playful and wild, Angelkit's quick to anger, and when she does, she attacks without mercy.

Description: Pure white she-cat with shocking dark green eyes.

History: Streakflame's kit

Other: Lol, hi

 

Username: dangershy

Name: Mousetalon

Age: around 35 moons old.

Gender: Tom

Position: Medicine Cat

Personality: A very loving, caring cat. He only gets ticked off if the cats (other than her apprentice) gets into the herbs and berries without her permission.

Description: http://cf.sketchfu.com/i/4756073.png

History: Mousetalon had once been a loner, roaming in IslandClan territory. He soon found their camp, and would watch them through the night for a while. After many moons, he entered the actual camp. The cats looked shocked the grey cat with talon-coloured paws. He asked to meet the leader, and she asked if he would like to train for a little while. He agreed to train under the medicine cat's words, and soon, he chose to join the Clan. A few moons after he had been titled as Mousepaw, the medicine cat died, and he took its place, and revived the name Mousetalon from his talon-colored paws. The scar of this shoulder had been from a fight with a rogue cat, and the one next to his eyes comes from a fight with a dog. No cat knows how he survived the attacks. Up until now, he has always been the medicine cat of the Clan and will always be faithful and loyal to his Clan and StarClan.

Other: N/A

 

Username: AppleCakes

Name: Mysterykit

Age: 4 moons

Gender: she-cat

Position: Kit

Personality: Shy and timid. Very easily startled, but has a strong will to avenge her mom and brothers(see histrory)

Description: Mysterykit is a small cat with sleek black fur and white "socks" on her paws

History: Mysterykit lived with her mom and two brothers in a small den her mom had made. When she had just turned four moons, some rogues attacked them for unknown reasons. Her mom fought to buy her kits time. They fled and hid, waiting for their mother to return. After a few minutes the sounds of battle died down and a single remaining rogue appeared. He chased the kits for a little bit and then caught them. He hurt them badly but after scratching his eyes he gave up and left. Mysterykit was the only one to live as her brothers died from their wounds shortly after. She went to look for help and stumbled across IslandClan

Other: Mysterykit believes that her mom was from originally a clan based on how she had been raised until the attack.

 

Username :Dinogirl71

Name: Featherpool

Age: 24 moons(2 years)

Gender: She-cat

Position: Warrior

Personality: She is usually strong, but she can get self-centered and headstrong at times. She is loyal to IslandClan, and will kill or injure rogues if necessary.

Description: Featherpool is a light gray and white she-cat with icy blue eyes

History: She was born a loner,and soon grew up to be a strong cat,then she joined IslandClan(of course)

Other:She despises the taste of squirrels.

 

Username: Eskies

Name: Spark/Dustkit/Dustpaw/Dustpelt

Age: 3 1/2 moons

Gender: Tom

Position: Kit

Personality: Very curious, he is surprisingly sneaky for a kit and is usually very upbeat, but this hides the fact that he is fairly insecure and doesn't have a lot off self-confidence.

Description: He is a slightly smaller than average kit with dusty grey fur and a long tail. He also has a few darker grey stripes down his back and all along his tail.

History: He was born in a twoleg nest, but his owners didn't want any more cats so they left him in the forest thinking that he could survive on his own.

Other: If it's allright with you, I would have him come in wandering through the forest once the part with Mysterykit is over.

 

Username: mrmcafee

Name: Ravenshadow

Age: 20 moons

Gender: she-cat

Position: Warrior)

Personality: She's to satisfied. She gets her hopes up, and when she fails, she feels down.

Description: She's black with dark brown eyes, she has dark brown flecks on her fur.

History: She was born in IslandClan. She was the only child, and her parents Dawnpelt and Darkwhisker died moons ago when she was an apprentice.

Other: She is a tomboy, she likes to hang out with the guys, but she doesn't really want kits. Maybe one day, she'll find her love.

 

Username: mrmcafee

Name: Rainkit

Age: 5 moons

Gender: Tom

Position: kit

Personality: He is nice, yet depressed for a while if a family member dies.

Description: He is brown, with tan Tabby stripes, and he has ocean blue eyes.

History: His mother was a rougue, and left Rain and Blaze to die, so they made their way here and begged to be excepted.

Other: When he and Blazekit play together, he is always the leader. He loves leadership, and it's his dream that he'll be Rainstar one day. He wants his name to be Rainheart.

 

Username: mrmcafee

Name: Blazekit

Age: 5 moons

Gender: she-cat

Position: kit

Personality: Adventurous and caring, and she forgives very easily.

Description: She is orange, with no stripes, and she has blazing green eyes.

History: Her mother was a rougue, and left Rain and Blaze to die, so they made their way here and begged to be excepted.

Other: She, very much like Rainkit, wants to be leader one day, and she wants her name to be Blazeclaw.

 

Username: xXJayfeatherXx although Jay works just fine

Name: Ivorystorm

Age: 22 moons

Gender: Tom

Position: Warrior

Personality: Proud, cunning, intelligent, and slightly mischievous. Ivorystorm always seems to have something on his mind although he rarely, if ever, speaks of it. He tends to think things several moves in advance as he is an ambitious tom and often gets his way without others realizing it. Ivorystorm cares deeply for the clan and is willing to do whatever it takes to ensure the safety and wellbeing of it.

Description: Silver tabby tom with unusually long front claws, blue eyes, and a torn right ear.

History: Ivorystorm was born and raised in IslandClan. He has always worked hard to reach his goals and has managed to earn the respect of his fellow clanmates. He's often regarded as one of the best fighters in the clan, although his hunting skills are somewhat lacking in comparison. He wishes to become deputy and then leader someday.

Other: Ivorystorm's brother, Lizardpaw, mysteriously disappeared a moon and a half before the two of them were supposed to be promoted to warriors.

 

Name: Moondust

Age: 27 moons

Gender: she-cat

Position: Warrior

Personality: She loves her Clanmates, only until something horrible happenes to them.

Description: Whitish gray, with hazel eyes.

History: Was pulled out to sea, came to clan when found shore

Other: Her adopted son, Rainkit, will soon be Crookedpaw, but when Moondust dies, Blazeclaw (then), will ask for his name to be Rainheart.

 

Username: Denwayasha

Name: Crystalflight

Age: 20 moons

Gender: She-cat

Position: Warrior/Queen

Personality: Usually friendly to most other cats, until they mess with a kit or queen! Very protective of young cats and queens, and is sometimes mistrustful of toms. She is loyal and kind, however, to those that get to know her.

Description: White with bright green eyes

History: Used to be a loner until she was attacked, and her mate and kits were killed by rouges. She fled and joined IslandClan for protection and to learn how to fight. She secretly hopes to someday get revenge on the rouges who destroyed her family.

Other:

 

Username: mrmcafee

Name: Willowpaw

Age: 6 moons

Gender: she-cat

Position: Apprentice

Personality: She's sweet, she loves to visit StarClan.

Description: She is a peachy blue color, with green/blue eyes.

History: Moondust was her mentor, Brokenpromise was alive when she was a kit, and he taught her battles moves.

Other: I'd like her name to be Willowbreeze.

 

Username: LRS

Name: Firespirit

Age: 27

Gender: she-cat

Position: Queen

Personality: Firespirit is a hot header cat. She is very protective and not the one to anger.

Description: http://wallpaperpassion.com/upload/3309/cat-wallpaper.jpg

History: unknown

Other: Her kits are Hazekit and Leafkit

 

Username: LRS

Name: Hazekit (Hazecloud)

Age: 4

Gender: she-cat

Position: kit

Personality: Hazekit is the calmest most delecate kit cyou will ever meet. she never resorts to violence and is obviously not cut out for battle.

Description: http://www.dreamstime.com/gray-kitten-on-w...humb3263664.jpg or http://www.domesticsale.com/mainclass/phot...01084701lqo.jpg

History: N/A

Other: Her sister is Leafkit and her mom is Firespirit

 

Username: LRS

Name: Leafkit (Leafgaze)

Age: 4

Gender: she-cat

Position: kit

Personality: Leafkit is the exact opposite of her sister, even in looks. She is a energetic hot headed kit with good luck in fight.

Description: http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b184/Kim...Black_cat-1.jpg or http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b184/Kim...Black_cat-1.jpg

History: N/A

Other: Her sister is Hazekit and her mom is Firespirit

 

Username: mrmcafee

Name: Janglepaw

Age: 8 moons

Gender: She-cat

Position: apprentice

Personality: She tries to avoid battle, but she is feirce if she has to be.

Description: She has spotted fur, like a leopard, with green eyes.

History: Born in IslandClan

Other: I would like her name to be Jangleclaw.

 

Name: Boulder

Age: 15 moons

Gender: Tom

Position: Rougue

Personality: He was caring, but everything changed when his sister, Stoneheart died.

Description: Dark gray with Blue eyes.

History: He banished from the Clan when he became a warrior, Boulderfur, because he knew how to care for himself. He became a rougue after Moondust killed Stoneheart, (which the Clan doesn't know yet,) because a rat gave her a desease and Moondust put out her misery. He joined the rougues in hopes of getting revenge on Moondust.

 

Username: Moonbeam22

Name: Mapleleaf

Age: 18 moons

Gender: She-cat

Position: Warrior

Personality: Mapleleaf is a very smart and loyal cat. She is kind to others, and works tirelessly for her Clan. She rarely complains, and agrees with most other's ways of doing things.

Description: Mapleleaf is a medium sized cat, with a long tail, and slightly longer the average legs. Her fur is a rich chocolate brown, and her muzzle down to her belly is white. So are her front paws. Mapleleaf's eyes are leaf green.

History: When Mapleleaf was about 7 moons old, her twoleg's house burned down, and only her and her father survived. When she turned 14 moons, her father died when dogs attacked them. Mapleleaf(now only called Maple) is now wandering about, searching for a place to call home.

Other: Mapleleaf is an extremely good climber, and hunts primarily in the trees.

 

Username: Orange you can call me Ory

Name: Tigerkit

Age: 5 moons

Gender: Tom

Position: Kit

Personality: Tigerkit is very eager to become a warrior. He really wants to be the leader of IslandClan when he gets older. Tigerkit loves to play with the other kits and apprentices. Also he sometimes sneaks out and tries to hunt like a warrior.

Description: Tigerkit

History: He was born in IslandClan about 5 moons ago. Also he likes playing with Leafkit.

Other: Can Tigerkit be Tigerheart when he becomes a Warrior? He really wants to be Leader like Rainkit and Blazekit.

 

Banners!

user posted image

[URL=http://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showtopic=122858][IMG=http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/8236/184984055124b28m3.jpg][/URL]

Thanks to TrueDrago for making this one!

Begin RP after this post!

Edited by Kamiko_Cullen

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Hello! I'm here to help you get your RP approved :]

 

So, you did a good job of describing the setting, but you do have some grammar mistakes, and a few other little things.

 

The tom looks at you. "You have come across IslandClan camp." he meowed.

 

"We are a clan of cats who live on this island and hunt in the forest." the tom explained. "The warriors and their apprentices hunt and fight for the clan, the queens and their kits stay in the nursery until the kits are six moons old. They recieve their names and start training to become warriors. Queens resume their warrior duties.

"When an apprentice has completed their training, they recieve their warrior name. Examples of a warrior name include: Heatherface, Blackclaw ... you get it?

"Apprentices also have the task of collecting bedding for the Queens and Elders. Elders are retired warriors who have served their clan faithfully.

"We also have a medicine cat for our injured or sick cats. Their responsibility is to heal their clanmates, recieve and interpret signs from StarClan.

"Our clan is guided by our leader, Heatherstar. She is a wise and noble leader. She has recieved her name and nine lives from StarClan to serve her clan.

"The deputy's responsibility is to organize patrols and make sure our boarders are regularly marked. I'm surprised that you made it all the way into our camp without being spotted."

The tom paused, then went on, looking at you, "Would you like to join IslandClan?" he asked.

You look at the tom, startled. "Yes." you say without thinking.

The tom nodded. "Then come with me, I'll guide you to Heatherstar's den." he meowed.

Once inside the den, you notice the pale brown tabby with many scars. She looks at you, then at the tom. "I hope you have a good reason why you brought this stranger here, *Rainshadow." she mewed. Her blue eyes look at you, seemingly burning into your pelt.

"I have, Heatherstar. This cat has found our camp and is willing to become a member of IslandClan." the tom replied, dipping his head respectfully.

"Then you will become a member of this clan." Heatherstar meowed, still looking at you.

Okay, so when someone finishes talking, you need a comma before the quotation, then the action of the speaker, like so:

"Hello Jane," Sally said.

However, if it's an action unrelated to speaking, the comma becomes a period. Like so:

"Hello Jane." Sally smiled as Jane walked into the room.

Also, in thsi whole block of text, you constantly switch from past tense to present tense, and back again. Choose one and stick with it. Also, when Rainshadow is talking, it can be one big paragraph. Don't keep making new paragraphs every sentence. Only make a new paragraph if it's really necessary, or when you switch speakers.

like such:

Bob said, "Hi, John. How are you doing today?"

"Not that good," replied John. "I got hit on the head with a shovel, then I tripped and fell on a stair. Oh, and I happened to lose my wallet, and then I jammed my finger against the door. The car wouldn't start either, so I was late for work, and a swarm of bees have built a hive on my tree. My roof is leaking, and my heater doesn't work. It's almost the worst day of my life."

"You mean you've had even worse days?" asked Bob, looking surprised.

"Yeah, ..."

etc. You get what I mean?

 

No playing other's characters.

3: You can't, I repeat, CAN'T kill other's cats without their permission.

in both these cases, the apostrophe should be after the s in "other's"

 

Okay, that's all the grammar corrections I'll put for now. I have some questions for you, though.

What are moons?

What's a queen, what's a loner, what is a tom?

 

That's all I have for you now. fix those, then post in the thread, and I'll go over some more with you. Hope I'm not pressuring you :]

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MoonUsername:ScaredShadows

 

Name: DawnKit

 

Age: 1 moon

 

Gender: Tom

 

Position: (idk im a kit hoping to be Kamikos Kit)

 

Description: White Paws,Orange Chest,Legs,and back,Black tipped orange tail,

Orange head and ears and muzzel

 

Other: Very Playful and Mischevious

Edited by scaredshadows

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You've done a good job on the edits, and the terms especially. okay, I don't have much time right now, so I'll crit more thoroughly later. You might want to add a personality section to your character sheet, that's always useful for me.

Also, what are the threats other than twolegs? are there other wild animals that are competing for food? perhaps other NPC clans?

what is Starclan? another clan? How can they give cats nine lives?

How long does a cat usually live, or how long are they a warrior before they become an elder? How long are they an apprentice?

What are the types of prey?

you might want to add leaffall, leafbare, greenleaf, and newleaf, as well as some of the cat swears to the terms explained section.

I've read these books, so I'm just asking these questions so that others who don't have as much knowledge on these books will understand.

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when will this be approved AND MODS READING THIS DONT THINK IM SPAMMING SHES ON OF MY FRIENDS AND IM WAITING FOR HER EPIC RP

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scaredshadows, please do not post unless you have something constructive to add. Read the Unapproved RPs stickies. This RP will be approved when an approver seems fit to do so.

Okay, good edits, like always biggrin.gif

so here's another thing. you should watch out for your past/present tenses. Do you see how you keep switching from past tense to present tense and back again? Choose one tense and stay with it. If you want to do this in past tense, make every action in past tense. If you want to do it in present tense, make every action present tense, and so on. Do you get it?

So that's another thing you can work on, and I'll post some more crits later smile.gif

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((As sapphiredragon said, don't post unless you have something constructive to add. Asking when it will get approved will not make the process any faster. Also, this RP already has an approver, so it shouldn't be too terribly long.))

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I'm not very good at edits, but I can help this RP in a different way. I'm very good at creating maps of places. If you want me to, I can make a map of the area! Also, is this RP placed in the time of the Lake Map? That can help a ton, so it is easier for me to make the map.

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Okay, then! I deleted my posts.

 

Approved!

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Username: Truedrago

Name: Shadowheart

Age: 26 moons

Gender: tom

Position: deputy

Personality: He is a very fun and kind tom. He trys to act tuff on the outside but he is caring.

Description: Jet-Black with Emerald-Green eyes

History: Normal

Other: Skillful fighter

Password:Rainshadow

 

And another

 

Username: Truedrago

Name: Firekit

Age: 1 moon

Gender: tom

Position: Kit (maybe KC's Kit)

Personality: Nothing yet

Description: An orange tom with darker stripes all over him.

History: Normal

Other:Nothing

Password:Rainshadow

Edited by TrueDrago

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((It's approved!!!!! -yells happily and dances/jumps around room-))

((I will post when more people join, or when someone else posts.))

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(( May I join? ))

 

Username: Denwayasha

Name: Hazelpaw (warrior suffix: -wind, if possible)

Age: 7 moons

Gender: She-cat

Position: Apprentice

Personality: Quiet and sometimes shy, but will defend what she thinks is right. Often naive. Loves to have fun.

Description: Amber-eyed brown tabby with white muzzle, chest, and belly. White toes on both front paws and left back paw. Petite, yet quick and agile.

History: Used to be a kittypet, but when her Housefolk moved away, they left her behind. She came to IslandClan by accident, she walked into camp while looking for her Twolegs.

Other:

(( Question: Will Heatherstar choose our warrior names, or do I get to pick? ))

Edited by Denwayasha

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((Heatherstar will allow you to pick, but if you don't know, she'll choose for you.

Please go ahead and start RPing! n.n))

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I dont want this to die!!!!

 

This was a wonderful morning thought Shadowheart. He knew that soon he would have to start organizing patrols. Looking around he could see the kits play fighting outside the nursery. Smiling to himself he decided to sun himself on the rocks for a bit longer. Then seeing the other warriors starting to wake up he decided that this was a good time as ever to start the sending the patrols out.

Jumping down from the rocks he greeted Rainshadow and Hazelpaw.

 

Might make another warrior soon.

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When Hazel, "Oh wait, I'm Hazelpaw now," she thought, had woken up, she was confused at first, and wondered why she had been sleeping on leaves and grass rather than her cushion at home- "That's right.. I'm a forest cat now," she whispered to herself. She stretched and padded out of the den towards the 'fresh-prey pile' or something like that.. Some of the wild cat's words were still strange to her. "Good morning," she replied after being gretted by Shadowheart.

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((I'll post, but I'm still waiting for a medicine cat. :l))

 

Midnightpaw was quizing himself. He was trying to remember what Burdock root was used for. Is it used to draw infection from a wound, or to stave off fevers? Midnightpaw asked himself silently. He looked up as he heard Shadowheart greet cats as they awoke. His silver eyes glistened in the sunlight. Many cats got very uneasy and nervous when Midnightpaw looked them in the eye. His ghostly glowing silver eyes were especially strange during a full moon. Of course dummy. It's used to draw infection. Midnightpaw stood and stretched. He put the Burdock root away and walked into the clearing. "Hello Shadowheart." Midnightpaw spoke very calmly as he locked eyes with the Deputy. He was trying to build up enough courage to ask the Deputy if he could go out and find some Burdock leaves. He was running low becuase the warriors had run through a bramble patch (with a few thistle plants) and gotten quite a few sratches and one or two thorns in their pads. He had used all of his Burdock leaves to help the wounds heal fast.

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((Right now I can't copy and past, so can you please reserve the Medicine Cat slot for me? I'm on my moms iPad and I don't know how to copy and paste.))

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Looking Midnightpaw in his eyes Shadowheart sensed something was going on and asked "Mightnightpaw is there something you would like to ask me?"

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((Ya, I know lame post compared to the first one.))

 

"May I go into the forest to find some Burdock. Were running low." Midnight asked. He would probably collect some roots too. He had better not tell me to go with a warrior. Well if he does, I have a few tricks he doesn't know about...

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Seeing a twinkle in Midnightpaw's eyes Shadowheart replied " let me organize the patrols first, then Hazelpaw and I will go with you.". Soon when he finished he asked Hazelpaw to come with him. Then reaching Midnightpaw he asked "If you are ready lets go.".

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((Don't worry he's not evil. He's just messing with Shadowheart.))

 

He leaves me no choice. I will have to use my plan. Midnightpaw thought. "Alright" Midnightpaw replied. He turned toward the entrance and walked through it leaving Shadowheart and Hazelpaw behind. He waited for them just outside the entrance. After they had walked a while his plan would begin...

Edited by Azteck

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"Hazelpaw we should get going if we want to catch up with Midnightpaw" With that Shadowheart dashed after Midnightpaw.

 

(to short also where is Denwayasha)

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((Starlight accepted!))

 

Streakflame watched her kits playing in the camp. She watched them engage in a mock-fight, with claws sheathed.

Angelkit swiped at Flamekit. "Take that, you mangy rogue!" she mewed.

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