Arpiana

Define 'Freedom' Please Join!

644 posts in this topic

The Start...

 

A large deep cave with small shallow pools of water and vines wrapping along the interior lies beyond the curious and greedy eyes of human beasts. Eggs of all shapes and sizes lie around the cave floor. Weak hatchlings struggle to move their fragile bodies and eat the scraps of food provided by the Elders. The Elders are the mature adult dragons who control the young ones. They force them to fight to survive in such cruel situations. Many are drawn to madness, slaughtered, and few survive. Those who manage to get out alive, suffer discipline until maturation. Then they become an Elder. A monster. They make the hatchlings fight to the death to see who is more dominant and who deserves to survive into adulthood.

 

 

 

A small Bright Breasted Wyvern hatchling sits in the corner bleeding heavily from harsh wounds caused by a thick fight to the death with a Moonstone hatchling. Thankfully, he had won but he couldn't get the horrible image of the poor creature lifeless under his claws out of his mind. He is a murderer now. But he can't do this anymore. No, not again. He must get out. The nameless boy lifts his head and stares at the heartless elder, Riah, who had done this thing to him. She is his mentor, his teacher. His prison keeper. Oh yes, the hatchling would get his revenge soon. Team up with the others. Leave those who had hurt him to die. His eyes blink away blood and anguish. Sweet betrayal lingered in his mouth along with blood as he heard the small clack of rain on the cave ceiling. He wonders what the world outside of this cave was like. Will you pay the price for freedom??

 

Form

 

Hatchlings, eggs, and adults welcome!

 

Please fill this out! I am not a n00b or a Newbie. I have 7 years of experience.

 

Name:
Egg  hatchling  elder:
Gender:
Breed:
Crush/Mate: not required
History: brief summary

 

Mine! More than one character is allowed. Currently, the character below and described above is unnamed.

 

Name: none user posted image

Hatchling

Gender: male

Breed: Bright Breasted Wyvern

Crush/Mate: none. Yet smile.gif

History: Born and raised in the cave, disciplined ever since, mother killed by Rhia.

Rhia is simply a cruel Sunrise female.

 

Rules:

No fighting

Mo powerplaying

Please join as a dragon that is entered in dragon cave. Not one that you created.

Follow all DC rules

 

The Cave... I do not own these pictures.

 

Inside

 

user posted image

 

 

Looking out. Where Elders guard

 

user posted image

 

 

How it looks from the Outside. Many deep chambers inside. Like a maze.

 

user posted image

 

Elder opening 2

 

user posted image

 

Hatchling's Den. Constantly guarded by Head Elder, Riah

 

user posted image

 

Drinking Hole

 

user posted image

 

Ice Dragon Cave for Ice Elders Only

 

user posted image

 

 

 

Current Hatchlings and Elders

 

Name: Anaya (Ah-neigh-ah)

Egg hatchling elder: Mature hatchling

Gender: Female

Breed: Thunder

Crush/Mate: Open

History: Same as most others, though her egg was stolen by one of the adult dragons from a her parents who do not live in the cave. She will eventualy learn of this

 

Name: Aeris

Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling

Gender: Female

Breed: Hellfire Wyvern

Crush/Mate: n/a

History: Aeris was unfortunately abandoned to the cave. Her parents, whom she does not remember, threw her away like trash and the cave adopted her. She soon found out that her new home was not a pleasant one. Being too young and not strong enough to live on her own she had no other choice but to stay. Her scales have grown strong and tough. Being a female hellfire wyvern, she can be stubborn and vicious, but she isn't evil. She wants freedom and she hates having to fight and kill other hatchlings. She has made it so far, but her patience is running out.

 

Name: none user posted image

Hatchling

Gender: male

Breed: Bright Breasted Wyvern

Crush/Mate: none. Yet smile.gif

History: Born and raised in the cave, disciplined ever since, mother killed by Rhia.

 

Name: Shrem

Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling

Gender: Male

Breed: Flamigo Wyvern

Crush/Mate: N/A

History: Shrem hatched fighting because his clutch mates were Green Dragons which are highly aggressive. Because of that he has an extremely dark red scar running down the left side of his face he is blind in his left eye because of it and his left eye is just a milky white ball.

 

 

Name: Zalazak

Egg, hatchling, or elder: S2 Hatchling, but does not know how to fly

Gender: Female

Breed: Sunset Dragon

Crush/Mate: None yet, X3

History: Zalazak was once a happy hatchling whose bright spirit could cheer up just about anyone! She was extremely athletic and smart, while being kind and caring at the same time. Everyone in the Clan knew the fiery-hearted dragoness by name and respected her. This all changed one day when her overly-ambitious father challenged the leader in a fight to the death. Whoever remained standing would become leader and the loser's family would be banished for eternity.

 

Predictably, Zalazak and her mother pleaded with the father to back down. "It's not worth the risk!" they said. "What if you lose? What will become of us?!" they said. Tears welled in their eyes and desperation shone on their faces. "Relax, I'll be fine," the father said calmly. With that, he ran up to the current leader and let out a ferocious roar. The fight was on! The two massive dragons began to circle around, while spectators hovered above. The leader, a ferocious Ember, snarled loudly and with lightning quick movement pounced onto Zalazak's father, crushing him under his weight. An eerie snap! echoed across the plain. "Dad!" the young Sunset cried, getting to her feet. Her mom extended a paw and blocked her. "Come now, dear, it is time we got going," her mother said turning around. The two dragons walked on, heads down and spirits low.

 

Zalazak was found years later by the Elders, alone. Her mother was long dead, struck down by the humans. She currently hates her life here, but has yet to see what is really in store for her. (Fighting. She doesn't know about it.) Her high spirit was broken, and the light that once so merrily lit her eyes gone. She is very thin from not getting much to eat and her muscles have shrunk. She is nothing like she used to be.

 

 

Name: Pyro

Egg hatchling elder: Mature Hatchling

Gender: male

Breed: magma

Crush/Mate: (crush) Anaya

History: As a young hatchling Pyro wondered away from his parents and was found by one of the elders. After he was brought to the cave the hatchling adapted to their ways.

 

Name: Vrans

Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling

Gender: Male

Breed: Royal blue

Crush/Mate: Amanda

History: He hatched and was born weak but had speed. Dodging this way and that to beat his opponents as he was forced to fight. At first when he hatched he hardly knew of another hatchling, Amanda was her name he found out. He felt gravitated towards her. The 2 trained a lot in the current time when there masters where not around. His master, a cruel hallfire who beats him at times hated her. His newly developed wings have marks from abuse.

 

Name: Amanda

Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling

Gender: Female

Breed: Gardain

Crush/Mate: Vrans

History: She had hatched as a very strong willed, very protective little girl. Her shield was bigger then most, but it wasn't heavy for her. It was rather light, weaker then most. She knew that she wouldn't beable to use her shield for defance, but for offance. In her book the best defance is offance and the best ofance is the best defance. When she was forced to fight the first time, it almost killed her. She wasn't the kind to take lives, but protect them. Her opponent was a vampire, but that didn't mean she could just kill another dragon. While her master, a mean spirited black, was away, she would train with Vrans. She felt like he was her sane line, and if anything happened to him she either got mad and tried to fight the hellfire that attacked Vrans, but would always get held back by Vrans.

 

((Name: Ecanus

Egg /hatchling /elder: Hatchling, stage one

Gender: Male

Breed: Autumn Seasonal

Crush/Mate: N/A

History: Ecanus's mother, an Albino, went hunting for food one day, and never came back. His father, after searching fruitlessly for her, feared that the human beasts had killed her (which was true), and they were after him and his son next, moved to a different part of the land. That part happened to be where the Elders' cave was. He found the cave. On the outside, it looked quite nice, and the Elders seemed to be rather brusque, but kind. Ecanus's father was horrified when he entered the cave to see the mistreatment of young hatchlings, and politely asked to leave with his son. Of course, the father was brutally killed by the Elders. Ecanus is quiet, polite, and seemingly sane, but every day, his composure is slipping little by little...

 

Name:Sayiri

Egg hatchling elder:I don't know yet.

Gender:Female

Breed:Crimson Flare Pygmy

 

Crush/Mate: not required

History: As an egg, she had almost died. Her real parents decided to abandon her cause they didn't want to experience it. A white dragon came along and saved her. The white did this to see how strong she is. She watches day after day, as the little Pygmy defeats dragon after dragon, to see if it was worth it to save her.

 

Name:???((I has no idea right now....))

Elder of: Sayiri.

Breed: white dragon

Gender:Male

Age: Adult, 134.

Other: He seems to forget things.))

 

Name:Vadellia

Egg hatchling elder: Elder

Gender:Female

Breed:black

Crush/Mate: not yet

History: She was hatched in the cave. She doesn't know much on how they got her egg or anything. She had gone though what the hatchlings had gone though. She was a lot like Amanda while she was young, and was one of the most toughest mentors the cave had ever seen, until Amanda came to her. She was starting to develop a soft spot for the hatchlings. Before Amanda came along in Vadellia's life, she would beat up the hatchling for every mistake, small or big. All of the ones she had were gardain and so they made the most mistakes inside the cave, and there for she would kill the hatchlings she had. Amanda is the one that lastest the longest, the rest didn't grow to see wings on their backs. Most didn't last a week with her.}

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Arpiana

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Some quick notes:

 

Start with labeling the different sections and splitting them up. I'd also get rid of some of those ellipses (...) so they're more dramatic when you do use them.

 

Eggs lay of all shapes and sizes.

 

Awkward wording. "Eggs of all shapes and sizes lie around the cave."

 

Also, watch your tense:

"A large deep cave with small shallow pools of water and vines wrapping along the interior lies beyond the curious and greedy eyes of human beasts."

"The Elders were the mature adult dragons who controlled the young ones."

 

Egg,hatchling,elder:

 

Once space after each comma. Perhaps a 'slash' / or change this to "stage" or "age".

 

Currently, the character above is unnamed.

 

*coughbelowcough* ;3

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This has been sitting around for almost two weeks and i'm getting angry. Sockpuppet please come back or another approver today or I'm going to PM you.

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You got some verb tense errors. You switch between past and present randomly in quite a few places.

 

Beginiing

 

This is spelled wrong in the title.

 

Thankfully, he had won but he couldnt get the horrible image of the poor creature lifeless under his claws.

 

That should be couldn't

 

His eyes blinked away blood and anguish.. Sweet betrayal lingered in his mouth along with blood as her heard the small clack of rain on the cave ceiling.

 

You have one more period than you need after anguish. In the second sentence, it should be he, not her.

 

You need a list of rules so people know what to expect from you and what you expect from them, even if it's just "Follow all DC rules."

 

Why did the elders make the hatchlings fight?

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Thankfully, he had won but he couldn't get the horrible image of the poor creature lifeless under his claws.

 

Think you meant to put "out of his mind" at the end of this?

The Elders are the mature adult dragons who controlled the young ones.

 

You still have tense errors. For example, are is present and controlled is past. There's more than this one in the RP, just an example.

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Name: Aeris

Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling

Gender: Female

Breed: user posted image

Crush/Mate: n/a

History: Aeris was unfortunately abandoned to the cave. Her parents, whom she does not remember, threw her away like trash and the cave adopted her. She soon found out that her new home was not a pleasant one. Being too young and not strong enough to live on her own she had no other choice but to stay. Her scales have grown strong and tough. Being a female hellfire wyvern, she can be stubborn and vicious, but she isn't evil. She wants freedom and she hates having to fight and kill other hatchlings. She has made it so far, but her patience is running out.

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They madke the hatchlings fight to the death to see who is more dominant and who deserves to survive into adulthood.

 

Some of your coding is also off, but you've fixed this enough it's good enough to move~ Enjoy :3

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Some of your coding is also off, but you've fixed this enough it's good enough to move~ Enjoy :3

Victory Dance!!!!

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Name: Aeris

Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling

Gender: Female

Breed: user posted image

Crush/Mate: n/a

History: Aeris was unfortunately abandoned to the cave. Her parents, whom she does not remember, threw her away like trash and the cave adopted her. She soon found out that her new home was not a pleasant one. Being too young and not strong enough to live on her own she had no other choice but to stay. Her scales have grown strong and tough. Being a female hellfire wyvern, she can be stubborn and vicious, but she isn't evil. She wants freedom and she hates having to fight and kill other hatchlings. She has made it so far, but her patience is running out.

Whew welcome!! smile.gif

 

He peers through the darkness of the cave at night. Tonight, he sleeps next to a strange hatchling who's name he doesn't know. She is icy... yet warm. This he knew. He found the same lust for freedom that drives him inside her. He tapped one of his claw against her sleeping back, retracting the poison. "Hello. What may I call you?" He was awkward when speaking to other hatching, females especially.

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The sun was shinning and the grass was fresh with dew. Aeris could feel the wind softly pushing against her scales. The lazy morning sun glazing the planet with it's soft welcoming warmth. She dug her claws into the soft soil and stretched out her neck. How beautiful the earth was, how lovely it was to be free. She readied herself for flight. Before taking flight she felt something tap her back. "What the.." before she knew it, her dream was over, and she found herself once again in the disgusting cave, stained with young blood and quiet hatred.

 

"Urgh.." Aeris grumbled, baring her sharp fangs to herself. That dream..

She quickly woke up, that being in her nature, trained to attack another on any given time. She opened her eyes widely. She was laying down next to a hatchling she'd never met before..

"Hello. What may I call you?"

 

Her tail lifted with the unfamiliar, but friendly voice.

"Im.. Im Aeris.. why are you awake?.." she replied in a whisper.

Edited by sammyjean

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The sun was shinning and the grass was fresh with dew. Aeris could feel the wind softly pushing against her scales. The lazy morning sun glazing the planet with it's soft welcoming warmth. She dug her claws into the soft soil and stretched out her neck. How beautiful the earth was, how lovely it was to be free. She readied herself for flight. Before taking flight she felt something tap her back. "What the.." before she knew it, her dream was over, and she found herself once again in the disgusting cave, stained with young blood and quiet hatred.

 

"Urgh.." Aeris grumbled, baring her sharp fangs to herself. That dream..

She quickly woke up, that being in her nature, trained to attack another on any given time. She opened her eyes widely. She was laying down next to a hatchling she'd never met before..

"Hello. What may I call you?"

 

Her tail lifted with the unfamiliar, but friendly voice.

"Im.. Im Aeris.. why are you awake?.." she replied in a whisper.

His scales bristled softly and his blue eyes blinked in the cold night air. He looked down at his clamped claws and snarled as if he was remembering some horrible memory. "I can't sleep here. I never could. You were stirring in your sleep. A nightmare or a pleasant dream? Well whatever it was, I suppose it was better than being here." He looked up at her and forced a smile. He tried to comfort the other hatchlings that lived with him, for they were prisoners in his cage as well.

 

(sorry! of course I can code it! oh and i always write in past tense... like he had or she did. i hope that isnt a problem)

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Aeris could feel the anger radiate from the other dragon. She rested her head on the ground, but listened to him intently. A snarl escaped him.

"I can't sleep here. I never could. You were stirring in your sleep. A nightmare or a pleasant dream? Well whatever it was, I suppose it was better than being here."

Aeris looked at her wings, feeling comfort only in herself. She disregarded the stranger's smile, and began to whisper. "Sometimes I dream of the outside." Aeris's voice was longing, feminine and had a brave presence. She slowly blinked her sparkling turquoise eyes. "Then, when I wake up, it's like I am living through a nightmare.." She shifted her gaze and her tail swept the ground behind her. She looked back to the stranger hatchling. "Eh.. You know you should sleep, you'll need the energy. We might have to fight some more hatchlings at sunrise.."

 

 

(Its no problem at all! But do you think you could be more in depth about the cave? Like are there elder dragons? are we in cages? How do things run around here? What is the inside of the cave look like, the outside, just all that stuff. x3)

Edited by sammyjean

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Aeris could feel the anger radiate from the other dragon. She rested her head on the ground, but listened to him intently. A snarl escaped him.

"I can't sleep here. I never could. You were stirring in your sleep. A nightmare or a pleasant dream? Well whatever it was, I suppose it was better than being here."

 

Aeris looked at her wings, feeling comfort only in herself. She disregarded the stranger's smile, and began to whisper. "Sometimes I dream of the outside." Aeris's voice was longing, feminine and had a brave presence. She slowly blinked her sparkling turquoise eyes. "Then, when I wake up, it's like I am living through a nightmare.." She shifted her gaze and her tail swept the ground behind her. She looked back to the stranger hatchling. "Eh.. You know you should sleep, you'll need the energy. We might have to fight some more hatchlings at sunrise.."

 

 

(Its no problem at all! But do you think you could be more in depth about the cave? Like are there elder dragons? are we in cages? How do things run around here? What is the inside of the cave look like, the outside, just all that stuff. x3)

He looked down at his claws and nodded. "Right. Well maybe you will see the outside someday. Some Elders called Bregards fly outside the cave to steal unwanted hatchlings and eggs." He spoke in a weary voice with an eerie sort of chill. He moved farther into the corner and wrapped his wings around him. Softly in his sleep, memories slowly appear. He's seen them all before but somehow never quite this clear. He just smiles and wishes for the world....

 

(sure. let me edit the first post and add some pics. girlfairy, you can use the cod and join now...)

Edited by Arpiana

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Name: Shrem

Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling

Gender: Male

Breed: user posted image

Crush/Mate: N/A

History: Shrem hatched fighting because his clutch mates were Green Dragons which are highly aggressive. Because of that he has an extremely dark red scar running down the left side of his face he is blind in his left eye because of it and his left eye is just a milky white ball.

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Name: Shrem

Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling

Gender: Male

Breed: user posted image

Crush/Mate: N/A

History: Shrem hatched fighting because his clutch mates were Green Dragons which are highly aggressive. Because of that he has an extremely dark red scar running down the left side of his face he is blind in his left eye because of it and his left eye is just a milky white ball.

Accepted!

 

He grumbled softly. As ussual, he was sleep deprived and angry. He looked across the den and saw a Flamingo Wyvern with an interesting scar. When the creature turned, he was faced with an oozing ball of pus where an eye should be. He felt his lunch of a straggly crow begin to rise in his throat, but he forced it back down.

 

Riah smiled at his disgust. "Hmm you two will be sparing partners for the day. You fight until I decide that a winner shall be chosen. Try not to make it messy. I just had number 85498 clean the floor."

 

 

Sighing, the boy's eyes locked on his opponent and hissed. he readied his poison barbs on his feet and bared his teeth. He forced his body to move but his mind and heart refused to heart this innocent. He pushed himself closer, allowing the Wyvern to make the first move.

 

(sometimes they refer to hatchlings as numbers.)

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Shrem felt his eye oozing pus again he turned and saw a wyvern looking at him. He bared his fangs as the wyvern advanced. When the adult left he sat down "I don't want to fight" he whisped softly to the other wyvern.

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Shrem felt his eye oozing pus again he turned and saw a wyvern looking at him. He bared his fangs as the wyvern advanced. When the adult left he sat down "I don't want to fight" he whisped softly to the other wyvern.

He looked at the other dragon with tears in his eyes. "I never wanted to. I never meant to hurt anyone. They beat us. They whip us. They'll kill us if we don't." Then, he thought of something. A plan of sorts. He let out a high pitched screeching noise until Riah snarled and threw him inside a small secret cavern he had never seen before. She muttered curses under her breath and said, "Another one gone mad. shame. He did quite a good amount of damage, that one."

 

In the tunnel, he walked until a small daydream hatchling greeted him. "Hi, I'm Hathina. I'll heal you up. Then you can head back out once you are cleared. Are you mad or mental?"

 

He glare at her. 'I'm sick of worthless bloodshed. What are you doing down here?"

 

Hathina smiled and began to bandage old injuries. "Aren't we all? I'm the healer. I heal the wounded and pick off the little sick ones. Heehee!! I'm just messing with you. But darling, think about it. Once you weed out the weak, all thats left are strong hatchlings that mature into Elders!. Ohhh well I think I can send you back up but it appears you have a sprain as well. I'll tell Riah you're on medical leave." she rang a soft tinkling bell and continued to sing a lullaby to a Shadow walker with a mad look of rage in its eyes.

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Shrem glared Hathina not trusting anyone but another wyvern. "Why don't we just leave? By the way my names Shrem whats yours?" he whisper softly to the Bright-Brested Wyvern hatchling

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Aeris opened her eyes at the high pitched screech. Her dreams were over once again, and she realized it was now daytime. The screech was maddening, and her teeth bared in response. She was lying on the cold floor and was trying to pretend she was weak and dying. Hopefully she'd be sent of to another part of the cave and wouldn't have to be made to kill another today.

 

She saw a young flamingo wyvern hatchling with a plausible scar. Her interest peaked, and saw the glimpse of his blinded eye. Damn.. I can't believe he's been blinded.. and that scar. She wanted to go up to the flamingo wyvern but she didn't want to be noticed by the elders. She layed low to the ground. She saw her acquaintance from last night, the bright breasted wyvern, tossed into a cavern she hadn't realized was there before. She took note in her mind to sneak into the cavern, and talk again to the bright breasted hatchling. If she were to get out of here, she was going to have to join up with others. She knew he had wanted freedom as well. No one should have to kill against their own will. Especially young innocent dragons. She also took note of the flamingo wyvern hatchling.. Maybe he wants to get out of here too. I bet those scars can change someone's life. I hope I don't get caught.

 

Aeris's colorful pelt did not help her hide. But through all the chaos she managed to creep along the edge of the cave she was in. She headed towards the secretive cavern, hoping she wouldn't have to battle another innocent.

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Shrem turned to look at a Hellfire Wyvern hatchling "I know what your looking at well stop it" he snarled. "My sister did this to me but shes dead now" he started sobbing as soon as he started that sentence.

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