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> Define 'Freedom' Please Join!, What will you fight for? Accepting
Arpiana
  Posted: Mar 10 2012, 11:40 PM
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The Start...

A large deep cave with small shallow pools of water and vines wrapping along the interior lies beyond the curious and greedy eyes of human beasts. Eggs of all shapes and sizes lie around the cave floor. Weak hatchlings struggle to move their fragile bodies and eat the scraps of food provided by the Elders. The Elders are the mature adult dragons who control the young ones. They force them to fight to survive in such cruel situations. Many are drawn to madness, slaughtered, and few survive. Those who manage to get out alive, suffer discipline until maturation. Then they become an Elder. A monster. They make the hatchlings fight to the death to see who is more dominant and who deserves to survive into adulthood.



A small Bright Breasted Wyvern hatchling sits in the corner bleeding heavily from harsh wounds caused by a thick fight to the death with a Moonstone hatchling. Thankfully, he had won but he couldn't get the horrible image of the poor creature lifeless under his claws out of his mind. He is a murderer now. But he can't do this anymore. No, not again. He must get out. The nameless boy lifts his head and stares at the heartless elder, Riah, who had done this thing to him. She is his mentor, his teacher. His prison keeper. Oh yes, the hatchling would get his revenge soon. Team up with the others. Leave those who had hurt him to die. His eyes blink away blood and anguish. Sweet betrayal lingered in his mouth along with blood as he heard the small clack of rain on the cave ceiling. He wonders what the world outside of this cave was like. Will [B] you
pay the price for freedom??

[/b] Form

Hatchlings, eggs, and adults welcome!

Please fill this out! I am not a n00b or a Newbie. I have 7 years of experience.

CODE
Name:
Egg  hatchling  elder:
Gender:
Breed:
Crush/Mate: not required
History: brief summary


Mine! More than one character is allowed. Currently, the character below and described above is unnamed.

Name: none user posted image
Hatchling
Gender: male
Breed: Bright Breasted Wyvern
Crush/Mate: none. Yet smile.gif
History: Born and raised in the cave, disciplined ever since, mother killed by Rhia.

Rhia is simply a cruel Sunrise female.

Rules:
No fighting
Mo powerplaying
Please join as a dragon that is entered in dragon cave. Not one that you created.
Follow all DC rules

[I][B] The Cave... I do not own these pictures.

Inside

user posted image


Looking out. Where Elders guard

user posted image


How it looks from the Outside. Many deep chambers inside. Like a maze.

user posted image

Elder opening 2

user posted image

Hatchling's Den. Constantly guarded by Head Elder, Riah

user posted image

Drinking Hole

user posted image

Ice Dragon Cave for Ice Elders Only

user posted image



Current Hatchlings and Elders

Name: Anaya (Ah-neigh-ah)
Egg hatchling elder: Mature hatchling
Gender: Female
Breed: Thunder
Crush/Mate: Open
History: Same as most others, though her egg was stolen by one of the adult dragons from a her parents who do not live in the cave. She will eventualy learn of this

Name: Aeris
Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling
Gender: Female
Breed: Hellfire Wyvern
Crush/Mate: n/a
History: Aeris was unfortunately abandoned to the cave. Her parents, whom she does not remember, threw her away like trash and the cave adopted her. She soon found out that her new home was not a pleasant one. Being too young and not strong enough to live on her own she had no other choice but to stay. Her scales have grown strong and tough. Being a female hellfire wyvern, she can be stubborn and vicious, but she isn't evil. She wants freedom and she hates having to fight and kill other hatchlings. She has made it so far, but her patience is running out.

[i]Name: none user posted image
Hatchling
Gender: male
Breed: Bright Breasted Wyvern
Crush/Mate: none. Yet smile.gif
History: Born and raised in the cave, disciplined ever since, mother killed by Rhia.

Name: Shrem
Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling
Gender: Male
Breed: Flamigo Wyvern
Crush/Mate: N/A
History: Shrem hatched fighting because his clutch mates were Green Dragons which are highly aggressive. Because of that he has an extremely dark red scar running down the left side of his face he is blind in his left eye because of it and his left eye is just a milky white ball.


Name: Zalazak
Egg, hatchling, or elder: S2 Hatchling, but does not know how to fly
Gender: Female
Breed: Sunset Dragon
Crush/Mate: None yet, X3
History: Zalazak was once a happy hatchling whose bright spirit could cheer up just about anyone! She was extremely athletic and smart, while being kind and caring at the same time. Everyone in the Clan knew the fiery-hearted dragoness by name and respected her. This all changed one day when her overly-ambitious father challenged the leader in a fight to the death. Whoever remained standing would become leader and the loser's family would be banished for eternity.

Predictably, Zalazak and her mother pleaded with the father to back down. "It's not worth the risk!" they said. "What if you lose? What will become of us?!" they said. Tears welled in their eyes and desperation shone on their faces. "Relax, I'll be fine," the father said calmly. With that, he ran up to the current leader and let out a ferocious roar. The fight was on! The two massive dragons began to circle around, while spectators hovered above. The leader, a ferocious Ember, snarled loudly and with lightning quick movement pounced onto Zalazak's father, crushing him under his weight. An eerie snap! echoed across the plain. "Dad!" the young Sunset cried, getting to her feet. Her mom extended a paw and blocked her. "Come now, dear, it is time we got going," her mother said turning around. The two dragons walked on, heads down and spirits low.

Zalazak was found years later by the Elders, alone. Her mother was long dead, struck down by the humans. She currently hates her life here, but has yet to see what is really in store for her. (Fighting. She doesn't know about it.) Her high spirit was broken, and the light that once so merrily lit her eyes gone. She is very thin from not getting much to eat and her muscles have shrunk. She is nothing like she used to be.


Name: Pyro
Egg hatchling elder: Mature Hatchling
Gender: male
Breed: magma
Crush/Mate: (crush) Anaya
History: As a young hatchling Pyro wondered away from his parents and was found by one of the elders. After he was brought to the cave the hatchling adapted to their ways.

Name: Vrans
Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling
Gender: Male
Breed: Royal blue
Crush/Mate: Amanda
History: He hatched and was born weak but had speed. Dodging this way and that to beat his opponents as he was forced to fight. At first when he hatched he hardly knew of another hatchling, Amanda was her name he found out. He felt gravitated towards her. The 2 trained a lot in the current time when there masters where not around. His master, a cruel hallfire who beats him at times hated her. His newly developed wings have marks from abuse.

Name: Amanda
Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling
Gender: Female
Breed: Gardain
Crush/Mate: Vrans
History: She had hatched as a very strong willed, very protective little girl. Her shield was bigger then most, but it wasn't heavy for her. It was rather light, weaker then most. She knew that she wouldn't beable to use her shield for defance, but for offance. In her book the best defance is offance and the best ofance is the best defance. When she was forced to fight the first time, it almost killed her. She wasn't the kind to take lives, but protect them. Her opponent was a vampire, but that didn't mean she could just kill another dragon. While her master, a mean spirited black, was away, she would train with Vrans. She felt like he was her sane line, and if anything happened to him she either got mad and tried to fight the hellfire that attacked Vrans, but would always get held back by Vrans.

((Name: Ecanus
Egg /hatchling /elder: Hatchling, stage one
Gender: Male
Breed: Autumn Seasonal
Crush/Mate: N/A
History: Ecanus's mother, an Albino, went hunting for food one day, and never came back. His father, after searching fruitlessly for her, feared that the human beasts had killed her (which was true), and they were after him and his son next, moved to a different part of the land. That part happened to be where the Elders' cave was. He found the cave. On the outside, it looked quite nice, and the Elders seemed to be rather brusque, but kind. Ecanus's father was horrified when he entered the cave to see the mistreatment of young hatchlings, and politely asked to leave with his son. Of course, the father was brutally killed by the Elders. Ecanus is quiet, polite, and seemingly sane, but every day, his composure is slipping little by little...

Name:Sayiri
Egg hatchling elder:I don't know yet.
Gender:Female
Breed:Crimson Flare Pygmy

Crush/Mate: not required
History: As an egg, she had almost died. Her real parents decided to abandon her cause they didn't want to experience it. A white dragon came along and saved her. The white did this to see how strong she is. She watches day after day, as the little Pygmy defeats dragon after dragon, to see if it was worth it to save her.

Name:???((I has no idea right now....))
Elder of: Sayiri.
Breed: white dragon
Gender:Male
Age: Adult, 134.
Other: He seems to forget things.))

Name:Vadellia
Egg hatchling elder: Elder
Gender:Female
Breed:black
Crush/Mate: not yet
History: She was hatched in the cave. She doesn't know much on how they got her egg or anything. She had gone though what the hatchlings had gone though. She was a lot like Amanda while she was young, and was one of the most toughest mentors the cave had ever seen, until Amanda came to her. She was starting to develop a soft spot for the hatchlings. Before Amanda came along in Vadellia's life, she would beat up the hatchling for every mistake, small or big. All of the ones she had were gardain and so they made the most mistakes inside the cave, and there for she would kill the hatchlings she had. Amanda is the one that lastest the longest, the rest didn't grow to see wings on their backs. Most didn't last a week with her.}









This post has been edited by Arpiana on Mar 25 2012, 12:51 PM
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Arpiana
Posted: Mar 16 2012, 10:46 PM
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so sorry but i just have to bump... no posts yet -.-
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SockPuppet Strangler
Posted: Mar 16 2012, 10:51 PM
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Wednesday has been canceled due to a scheduling potato.
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Some quick notes:

Start with labeling the different sections and splitting them up. I'd also get rid of some of those ellipses (...) so they're more dramatic when you do use them.

QUOTE
Eggs lay of all shapes and sizes.


Awkward wording. "Eggs of all shapes and sizes lie around the cave."

Also, watch your tense:
"A large deep cave with small shallow pools of water and vines wrapping along the interior lies beyond the curious and greedy eyes of human beasts."
"The Elders were the mature adult dragons who controlled the young ones."

QUOTE
Egg,hatchling,elder:


Once space after each comma. Perhaps a 'slash' / or change this to "stage" or "age".

QUOTE
Currently, the character above is unnamed.


*coughbelowcough* ;3
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Arpiana
Posted: Mar 17 2012, 11:31 AM
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Thanks Sockpuppet!! I took your advice! Look good now?
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Arpiana
Posted: Mar 22 2012, 12:51 PM
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This has been sitting around for almost two weeks and i'm getting angry. Sockpuppet please come back or another approver today or I'm going to PM you.
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Walker
Posted: Mar 22 2012, 04:53 PM
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Spitting sparks!
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You got some verb tense errors. You switch between past and present randomly in quite a few places.

QUOTE
Beginiing


This is spelled wrong in the title.

QUOTE
Thankfully, he had won but he couldnt get the horrible image of the poor creature lifeless under his claws.


That should be couldn't

QUOTE
His eyes blinked away blood and anguish.. Sweet betrayal lingered in his mouth along with blood as her heard the small clack of rain on the cave ceiling.


You have one more period than you need after anguish. In the second sentence, it should be he, not her.

You need a list of rules so people know what to expect from you and what you expect from them, even if it's just "Follow all DC rules."

Why did the elders make the hatchlings fight?
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Arpiana
Posted: Mar 22 2012, 05:56 PM
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Thank you! I fixed it! Is it good now??
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Walker
Posted: Mar 22 2012, 06:19 PM
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Spitting sparks!
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QUOTE
Thankfully, he had won but he couldn't get the horrible image of the poor creature lifeless under his claws.


Think you meant to put "out of his mind" at the end of this?
QUOTE
The Elders are the mature adult dragons who controlled the young ones.


You still have tense errors. For example, are is present and controlled is past. There's more than this one in the RP, just an example.
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Arpiana
Posted: Mar 22 2012, 08:33 PM
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Fixed them all (hopefully!)
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sammyjean
Posted: Mar 22 2012, 10:37 PM
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Member No.: 185,162
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Name: Aeris
Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling
Gender: Female
Breed: user posted image
Crush/Mate: n/a
History: Aeris was unfortunately abandoned to the cave. Her parents, whom she does not remember, threw her away like trash and the cave adopted her. She soon found out that her new home was not a pleasant one. Being too young and not strong enough to live on her own she had no other choice but to stay. Her scales have grown strong and tough. Being a female hellfire wyvern, she can be stubborn and vicious, but she isn't evil. She wants freedom and she hates having to fight and kill other hatchlings. She has made it so far, but her patience is running out.
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Walker
Posted: Mar 23 2012, 08:07 AM
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Spitting sparks!
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Group: RP Moderators
Posts: 5,598
Member No.: 34,649
Joined: 3-March 09



QUOTE
They madke the hatchlings fight to the death to see who is more dominant and who deserves to survive into adulthood.


Some of your coding is also off, but you've fixed this enough it's good enough to move~ Enjoy :3
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Arpiana
Posted: Mar 23 2012, 08:25 AM
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QUOTE (Walker @ Mar 23 2012, 09:07 AM)

Some of your coding is also off, but you've fixed this enough it's good enough to move~ Enjoy :3

Victory Dance!!!!
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Arpiana
Posted: Mar 23 2012, 08:42 AM
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QUOTE (sammyjean @ Mar 22 2012, 11:37 PM)
Name: Aeris
Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling
Gender: Female
Breed: user posted image
Crush/Mate: n/a
History: Aeris was unfortunately abandoned to the cave. Her parents, whom she does not remember, threw her away like trash and the cave adopted her. She soon found out that her new home was not a pleasant one. Being too young and not strong enough to live on her own she had no other choice but to stay. Her scales have grown strong and tough. Being a female hellfire wyvern, she can be stubborn and vicious, but she isn't evil. She wants freedom and she hates having to fight and kill other hatchlings. She has made it so far, but her patience is running out.

Whew welcome!! smile.gif

He peers through the darkness of the cave at night. Tonight, he sleeps next to a strange hatchling who's name he doesn't know. She is icy... yet warm. This he knew. He found the same lust for freedom that drives him inside her. He tapped one of his claw against her sleeping back, retracting the poison. "Hello. What may I call you?" He was awkward when speaking to other hatching, females especially.
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sammyjean
Posted: Mar 23 2012, 01:08 PM
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The sun was shinning and the grass was fresh with dew. Aeris could feel the wind softly pushing against her scales. The lazy morning sun glazing the planet with it's soft welcoming warmth. She dug her claws into the soft soil and stretched out her neck. How beautiful the earth was, how lovely it was to be free. She readied herself for flight. Before taking flight she felt something tap her back. "What the.." before she knew it, her dream was over, and she found herself once again in the disgusting cave, stained with young blood and quiet hatred.

"Urgh.." Aeris grumbled, baring her sharp fangs to herself. That dream..
She quickly woke up, that being in her nature, trained to attack another on any given time. She opened her eyes widely. She was laying down next to a hatchling she'd never met before..
"Hello. What may I call you?"

Her tail lifted with the unfamiliar, but friendly voice.
"Im.. Im Aeris.. why are you awake?.." she replied in a whisper.

This post has been edited by sammyjean on Mar 23 2012, 01:17 PM
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girlfairy76
Posted: Mar 23 2012, 02:54 PM
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CURSES! MY SKITTLES! -runs off-
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I can't copy and paste the form. Could you. Code it please?
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Arpiana
Posted: Mar 23 2012, 03:35 PM
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QUOTE (sammyjean @ Mar 23 2012, 02:08 PM)
The sun was shinning and the grass was fresh with dew. Aeris could feel the wind softly pushing against her scales. The lazy morning sun glazing the planet with it's soft welcoming warmth. She dug her claws into the soft soil and stretched out her neck. How beautiful the earth was, how lovely it was to be free. She readied herself for flight. Before taking flight she felt something tap her back. "What the.." before she knew it, her dream was over, and she found herself once again in the disgusting cave, stained with young blood and quiet hatred.

"Urgh.." Aeris grumbled, baring her sharp fangs to herself. That dream..
She quickly woke up, that being in her nature, trained to attack another on any given time. She opened her eyes widely. She was laying down next to a hatchling she'd never met before..
"Hello. What may I call you?"

Her tail lifted with the unfamiliar, but friendly voice.
"Im.. Im Aeris.. why are you awake?.." she replied in a whisper.

His scales bristled softly and his blue eyes blinked in the cold night air. He looked down at his clamped claws and snarled as if he was remembering some horrible memory. "I can't sleep here. I never could. You were stirring in your sleep. A nightmare or a pleasant dream? Well whatever it was, I suppose it was better than being here." He looked up at her and forced a smile. He tried to comfort the other hatchlings that lived with him, for they were prisoners in his cage as well.

(sorry! of course I can code it! oh and i always write in past tense... like he had or she did. i hope that isnt a problem)
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sammyjean
Posted: Mar 23 2012, 04:00 PM
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Aeris could feel the anger radiate from the other dragon. She rested her head on the ground, but listened to him intently. A snarl escaped him.
"I can't sleep here. I never could. You were stirring in your sleep. A nightmare or a pleasant dream? Well whatever it was, I suppose it was better than being here."

Aeris looked at her wings, feeling comfort only in herself. She disregarded the stranger's smile, and began to whisper. "Sometimes I dream of the outside." Aeris's voice was longing, feminine and had a brave presence. She slowly blinked her sparkling turquoise eyes. "Then, when I wake up, it's like I am living through a nightmare.." She shifted her gaze and her tail swept the ground behind her. She looked back to the stranger hatchling. "Eh.. You know you should sleep, you'll need the energy. We might have to fight some more hatchlings at sunrise.."


(Its no problem at all! But do you think you could be more in depth about the cave? Like are there elder dragons? are we in cages? How do things run around here? What is the inside of the cave look like, the outside, just all that stuff. x3)

This post has been edited by sammyjean on Mar 23 2012, 04:03 PM
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Arpiana
Posted: Mar 23 2012, 04:08 PM
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QUOTE (sammyjean @ Mar 23 2012, 05:00 PM)
Aeris could feel the anger radiate from the other dragon. She rested her head on the ground, but listened to him intently. A snarl escaped him.
"I can't sleep here. I never could. You were stirring in your sleep. A nightmare or a pleasant dream? Well whatever it was, I suppose it was better than being here."


Aeris looked at her wings, feeling comfort only in herself. She disregarded the stranger's smile, and began to whisper. "Sometimes I dream of the outside." Aeris's voice was longing, feminine and had a brave presence. She slowly blinked her sparkling turquoise eyes. "Then, when I wake up, it's like I am living through a nightmare.." She shifted her gaze and her tail swept the ground behind her. She looked back to the stranger hatchling. "Eh.. You know you should sleep, you'll need the energy. We might have to fight some more hatchlings at sunrise.."


(Its no problem at all! But do you think you could be more in depth about the cave? Like are there elder dragons? are we in cages? How do things run around here? What is the inside of the cave look like, the outside, just all that stuff. x3)

He looked down at his claws and nodded. "Right. Well maybe you will see the outside someday. Some Elders called Bregards fly outside the cave to steal unwanted hatchlings and eggs." He spoke in a weary voice with an eerie sort of chill. He moved farther into the corner and wrapped his wings around him. Softly in his sleep, memories slowly appear. He's seen them all before but somehow never quite this clear. He just smiles and wishes for the world....

(sure. let me edit the first post and add some pics. girlfairy, you can use the cod and join now...)

This post has been edited by Arpiana on Mar 23 2012, 04:21 PM
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dragon_shard123
Posted: Mar 23 2012, 11:23 PM
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Name: Shrem
Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling
Gender: Male
Breed: user posted image
Crush/Mate: N/A
History: Shrem hatched fighting because his clutch mates were Green Dragons which are highly aggressive. Because of that he has an extremely dark red scar running down the left side of his face he is blind in his left eye because of it and his left eye is just a milky white ball.
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Arpiana
Posted: Mar 23 2012, 11:39 PM
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QUOTE (dragon_shard123 @ Mar 24 2012, 12:23 AM)
Name: Shrem
Egg hatchling elder: Hatchling
Gender: Male
Breed: user posted image
Crush/Mate: N/A
History: Shrem hatched fighting because his clutch mates were Green Dragons which are highly aggressive. Because of that he has an extremely dark red scar running down the left side of his face he is blind in his left eye because of it and his left eye is just a milky white ball.

Accepted!

He grumbled softly. As ussual, he was sleep deprived and angry. He looked across the den and saw a Flamingo Wyvern with an interesting scar. When the creature turned, he was faced with an oozing ball of pus where an eye should be. He felt his lunch of a straggly crow begin to rise in his throat, but he forced it back down.

Riah smiled at his disgust. "Hmm you two will be sparing partners for the day. You fight until I decide that a winner shall be chosen. Try not to make it messy. I just had number 85498 clean the floor."


Sighing, the boy's eyes locked on his opponent and hissed. he readied his poison barbs on his feet and bared his teeth. He forced his body to move but his mind and heart refused to heart this innocent. He pushed himself closer, allowing the Wyvern to make the first move.

(sometimes they refer to hatchlings as numbers.)
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