Posted July 27, 2016 Kestra! *mooches* One of the fuses in the fuse board thing blew on Sunday. We put one of the other ones in to give us some power to the TV and fridge and stuff, (though some parts of the house still don't have power) but we now have an electric current running through all the appliances. We were getting shocks off anything with a metal surface so we've had to switch off and unplug stuff. Got shocked about eight times in total =D (but not Anakin Skywalker level or anything). To make matters worse, the electrician reckons the whole house needs rewiring, so my mom is pressuring me to get a £6000 loan which I can't really afford. Plus we need a new washing machine because that started smoking. Mixing stress, depression, exhaustion and my CFS all together at the same time is doing wonders for my mood. Went to bed crying last night! Had lots of death dreams again! I'm doing just swell today! As for the whole education thing, I hate the whole process. We take any creativity and love of learning a child has, throw it away, and replace it with exams, studies and the pressure of getting the best grades, because you can't just be good at one or two things, you have to be capable of doing everything perfectly otherwise you'll never surive as an adult. Then we tell you when you are still just a child that you have to make choices that will affect your entire life (which as Kestra pointed out ain't true). Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 (edited) Oh my. Blown fuse? Urk. Not cool of your mother to pressure you...especially when you don't have the money to repay a loan, which is iften (least where I live) at least 25% more than the loan itself. I feel you with the stress thing - I have things where stress either causes me fo snap or start thinking dark thoughts... and I already have a fairly dark mentality. This is where I'd try to cheer you up a little if I knew how to cheer anyone up... Used to love school... hate it now. I feel in my head like I have to get the best grades or I'm nothing but worthless. It's my mentality becausr I'm trying to "compensate" for disabilities. And I hate the people who won't shut up! It makes my implants go nuts and me see red. Nobody gets consequences... ever. Edited July 27, 2016 by Dusky_Flareon Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 *pets Dusky* Don't worry. I suck at cheering people up too. I dunno if it's just because I'm really bad at it or if my own down feelings are hindering the attempt. I think we need to focus less on telling kids 'You gotta be smart' and more on 'Do your best'. Kids that do show a knack for something at an early age are often expected to continue to be good at it. If they start to make mistakes or fail people become concerned and start applying more pressure, which would just make the situation worse. I used to love English lessons when I was a child. I got many good grades, mostly because I enjoyed it. But then more and more tests started to happen and my lessons became more about passing the next exam rather than properly learning the subject at hand or enjoying it. All the fun got sucked out of it and my grades started to drop, so they gave me more homework and more tests. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 Thank you Fortune. I wonder... how many other people find cheering others up tough? Makes sense. I got good grades and had a knack for learning from the time I was little (even taught myself to read by age 2), so now I'm expected to have straight As. Any less and I beat myself up for not being good enough AND Mother is disappointed. Problem is, I... cannot withstand disappointment in me. I just die inside. So... not only external pressure, but internal pressure. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 When I was at high school, only goal was get good grade at CSAT and go to good college. Reading books wasn't that helpful for that goals, so teacher told me "Please don't read books." Well, I read books lot more than normal students those days though. I was kinda succeed that goal because I'm in college in Seoul. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 *pets Shsh* Most of the stuff I know I learned from reading books. Mostly fiction yeah, but those that used real life situations and examples. I learned a lot about the world through books. We did Macbeth and Romeo & Juliet while at school. I was really excited, but quickly learned that most of our lessons were basically 'this'll be on the exam, so write something like xxxxxxxxx'. I had to look up the plays in my own time to find out what they were really about. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 FORTUNE!! *huggles* I missed you too!!!! You said you were only to be gone for a week! You were gone two weeks! I was worried! I had nightmares! Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 I'm sorry T-T It was only supposed to be a week, but things happened. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 Yes and No. I'm alive (kinda). You know my mom went to the US yeah? Well my Dad had to drive her to the airport, which is right at the bottom of the country. He stayed overnight when he dropped her off, but couldn't do the same when he picked her up. He over did it trying to do that much driving and I had to take another week helping him recover and looking after the animals. My mom spent most of the last week in bed (which she does anyway). Then stuff happened on Sunday which I already made a post about and don't have the energy to do again. Sorry. Anyway, how's you? And how is your mom doing? Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 Sounds really bad! And a bit annoying. Well at least you're back and safe now! I've been so-so. Having really bad nights of sleep! My mum is doing okay. She still needs to find a doctor of her knee surgery but she is still baking up a storm! Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 *hugs Spirit* Bad dreams are horrible. T-T I'm glad you're mom is alright. Does her knee hurt? Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 Yeah, when she gets really busy. The doctor had to give her an injection in both knees so that she doesn't feel to much pain. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 Owie D: I hope things get better. My Dad has just had a call from the doctor. He has to go back for more blood tests. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 I hate them too. I always feel light headed afterwards. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 My arm always just hurt. I've never felt light headed before! Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 No, you really don't. This is one of the biggest lies we tell children and I think it is harsh and unfair. We like to make out to high school kids that when they are in this emotionally-volatile and worldly-immature age range of 15 - 18yr that the decisions they make know will decide their entire life, and once they commit then that's it they can't change. I'm here to tell you that it is utter crap. I know few people who actually at my age (30yrs) are doing what they "decided" to do at 16yrs. Cases in point: - I went to study Maths to be a teacher. I'm now an A&E nurse. - Lover failed her college to be a forensic scientist. She's now off to do Occupational Therapy. - Levis wanted to be a history teacher. He now heads up the first aid charity for this county. - My sister wanted to teach outdoor sports. Now she's a single mother doing care work during the day. - My friend wanted to do a sciences degree and go into research. She's doing her training as a doctor. - One of my seniors was an RAF officer before leaving, becoming a paramedic, then leaving that to work in hospital instead. - My Dad was a soldier who specialised in bombs and communications, then trained outdoor sports, and is now a therapist for disabled veterans. You are allowed to not know what you want, and change your mind later. I see most people hit their mid-twenties, a point where they have emotionally stabilised and generally matured, and suddenly we all change careers and ideas now we have actually finished forming out personalities. This rubbish that you have to decide in your teens the course your life will take is a lie; you can make a choice and if you don't like it, you can change it. Things will come up that you never thought of and you'll commit to that instead. A chance opportunity may just turn into the greatest adventure of your life. Many people do,and do it successfully - sometimes again and again and again. My Nana must have had ten different careers across her life. So it's fine to be unsure, and it's fine to go down one route and then leave it later. You would not be ostracized for doing that. *** *snug* morning Fort. What electric shocks? Typically I get up early to try and do something with my day for once, and it is grey and wet. wow. Thanks. wow i'm at that age you said. 15. When i was a bit younger i wanted to travel. I would of loved to have a career with traveling. My teacher from art school said she would see me as in a science career and art as a hobby. I was thinking maybe to be an art teacher. I always say i don't know when teacher asks our class what are our plans. i'll say animator and she '' that's it? no other plans?'' it gave me stress. i didn't want to answer because i didn't know the answer. your post made me feel better. thanks Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2016 Hi Dragnilu. I only decided what I wanted to study a month before my high school year was over. I might not have studied what I wanted but I'm still doing something I like. Share this post Link to post
Recommended Posts