Fallout: Aftermath

[9pmg5665]

Back story

In 2070, the Allies and the Communist Republic have just stale-met in a nuclear war, that also collapsed the world's government's. America's government has saved their population by putting people in Vaults, nuclear-bomb proof shelters, meant to test its inhabitants with rules or permanent lifestyles. For 100 years, the Vaults stayed closed. Then one from vault 13 came. The water purification chip was broken and that one vault dweller fixed the problems of a half of Texas. 2270, Washington D.C., the Brotherhood of Steel helped with Project Purification, a project to purify radiated and salt water alike, fixing the water shortage. While VD2 (Vault dweller 2) helped the BoS (Brotherhood of Steel) prosper, he angered and finished off the Enclave, a group of overly patriotic BoS opposite, while very few Enclave remain. In western America, the NCR ( New California Republic) has just taken the Hoover Dam after fighting the brutal, but primitive Legion. The Legion is the NCR's opposite, though primitive. They use spears and machetes and make armor out of old trash cans and scrap, and sometimes even plastic bottles.

 

 

Plot

Earth, March 27, 2294.

 

Almost all vaults in America have been opened. The Brotherhood has succeeded in turning eastern America back into it's past, rebuilding important cities and guarding them against Super-Mutants, feral Ghouls, Enclave remnants, Legion, and Centaurs. The main BoS base is in Washington DC, former Enclave HQ. Recently, a few cities have gone dark, comms have gone down, and no courier has come back or from the cities to tell them about it. And last messages from them have been terrible. Mutants and Ghouls have been attacking the cities recently and BoS squads are tight due to the already guarded posts and colonizing places. One such place is Steel-Rise, the forward militaristic base of the BoS, filled to the brim with mercenaries and guards. Confilicting that, the Enclave ( Now a part of the remnants of the Legion.) has built a counter base, and tactics unit, both named Plasma Talon. Now there is a war between the two and the legion has numbers, tactics, and technology. The BoS has intelligence of there armor weaknesses and the Enclave has upgraded making that bonus useless.

 

Now the BoS has been hiring mercs, welcoming people into their ranks. Now they're at a stalemate, sending small units while losing very small expendable amounts soldiers. Nuclear power was lost during the Great War, but near the two cities at war, a vault has opened. Through out the years of it's existence, it has been running on nuclear power and the knowledge of digging further. The vault is Vault 55, unknown until it's opening. Now people have been exploring it and from it, and now it's the only thing standing in the way of either side in the war.

 

Factions

BoS

Plasma Talon

NCR

Merchants

Vault Dweller

 

Forms

Username:

Name:

Gender:

Age:

Faction:

Armor + Appearance: ( You can use the fallout wikia for the armor types.)

Weapon: ( You can use the Fall out wikia. No Fat Man, and rocket launcher.)

Other:

 

Rules

No god modding without permission

No Mary or lindy sues unless you have been GMed

No killing off other people's characters unless you both decide to do that.

No extreme romance.

No power-playing unless needed

Please PM sheets

 

Bonus

The reason why I don't put in personality or history in the form is because people have a right to go off of their own boundaries and both history and personality can restrict opportunities. I'm not saying that your character can't do things involving their history or stuff like that, but restrictions make shorter RPs.

I'll let you kill off another person's character if they don't post for about a week or two. Whichever pushes the story forward.

I realize that I didn't explain the factions well so...

1) The NCR, is the opposite to the Legion. Their have advanced leather armor, helms, and guns. They represent democracy, and wish to get America back to it.

2) Brother hood of Steel and the Enclave, they are both power/energy craving organizations. The Brotherhood wants to preserve technology and advance it to the point of destroying radiation. The Enclave wants to take America over and has annexed Canada, but returned to Ameri- this is in the Wikipedia you can read it there.

3) The Legion, wants to slave america. They adopt other tribes of people to enforce slavery. They only make women their slaves, though teamed up with the Enclave, Slavery is for prisoners of war or those not deemed worthy.

So you may be asking " This is great but I think it needs more detail or something." Well that's not a question. But you can go to the fallout Wikipedia. Type in to your search bar " Fallout Wikipedia" And it should appear.

I Read the rules of DC unapproved section and this should be read, people who want paragraph sheets. Since this needs to be popular to survive, as if it were a drug leech on Charlie Sheens lungs, I'm also allowing paragraph sheets to be accepted. PM it to me first though, and when the RP starts, post it here.

Edited July 31, 2012 by 9pmg5665

[9pmg5665]

1) The american government tried to save people by placing them in "Vaults". Underground nuclear bomb shelters, capable of even being held-up against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, or that's what signs advertised. It could barely hold up against the blast of one, much less direct impact.

 

2) Vault one to Vault 120+.

 

3) A vault dweller. Which is a survivor from a vault, that has decided to leave a vault.

 

4) Well all vaults were underground. They were connected to the nearest, sustaining water source, but were anticipated to survive fall-out and nukes. The used water purification ships to purify water.

 

5) The Brotherhood of Steel was the special tactics unit of the US military of 2077. They were used to build quick bunkers, supply, house, aid, and support civilians and soldiers of the US. Also used to interrogate and infiltrate the Communist army. The major problems would the nation wide water shortage, the mutant problem, raiders, and invading countries. ( Of which there are none. Every country was nuked to death.)

 

6) Vault Dweller 2 was the second vault dweller. He/she fixed project Purification, which purified part water at an alarmingly fast rate. The Enclave was an impostor of the US government. They used Uncle Sam as their representative. They wanted to help America by taking from Canada, South America, and other near-by countries. The BoS wanted to re-colonize America and control technology to bring America to it's former state. Though most differences ended there.

 

7) The NCR is a rising militaric power in the west. With them Rose the Rangers. The NCR's special tactics unit. The NCR used pre-war technology ( Guns, rockets, Ect.) While the BoS used lazers. The Legion was very primitive, choosing a Caesar. But making them primitive was that they used trash cans, motorcycle helmets, car parts, sharp blade, regular clothes, dirt, mattresses, and a whole bunch of other stuff to make their armor, weapons, and housing.

Edited July 2, 2012 by 9pmg5665

[9pmg5665]

Character Sheets

 

Username: 9Bot or pmg or 9

Name: Blake

Gender: Male

Age: 24

Faction: Vault Dweller

Armor + Appearance: Blonde short military hair, blue eyes, multiple minor burns on fingers from working on power panels. Reinforced leather armor mark 2

Weapon: 10MM pistol.

Other:

 

Username: You know.

Name: Connor

Gender: Male

Age:18

Faction: BoS ( Whole life.)

Armor + Appearance: Pale, green eyes, Elvis like hair, Shiny teeth, and bandages on face. Wears BoS ensign or consign armor.

Weapon: Lazer pistol.

Other:

 

Username: TheArsynist

Name: James

Gender: Male

Age: 20-ish

Faction: BoS. (mercenary, may change in the future)

Armor + Appearance: [http://data.whicdn.com/images/2523908/seungriy_thumb.jpg], wearing leather armor.

Weapon: Ol' Painless(Hunting rifle, if unique variants are unavailable)

Other: James and Lance travel together.

 

Username: TheArsynist

Name: Lance

Gender: Male

Age: Undetermined

Faction: Whoever his master, James, decides to ally himself with.

Armor + Appearance: [http://www.digitalmediatree.com/library/image/12/brownwolf_color580.jpg]

Weapon: His claws, teeth, powerful muscles, etc.

Other: James and Lance travel together. He's a dog.

 

Username: Nasa13

Name: Victor Kirlov

Gender: Male

Age: 23

Faction: BoS

Armor + Appearance: Desert Ranger combat armor. Black hair with thick strips of red, brown eyes, darkened skin, home-made rebreather mask that covers only the front of his face

Weapon: Arm-Mounted Flamer on his right arm

Other:

 

Username: Shadowdrake

Name: Clyde

Gender: Male

Age: early 20's

Faction: Merchants (mercenary)

Armor + Appearance: slicked-back brown hair, about 6 feet tall and wearing the Mercenary Adventurer outfit

Weapon: Service rifle and combat knife.

Other: (Deceased.)

 

 

Username: Sovless (Sov)

Name: Patrick

Gender: Male

Age: 22

Faction: NCR

Armor + Appearance: 6' tall, medium build, broad shoulders, buzzed blond hair, blue eyes, freckles, various scars on his body. He wears a suit of mismatched armor that resembles a mix of Leather and Metal armor, and it is worn with many scratches and dents.

Weapon: Assault Rifle, Combat Knife

Other: Both Patrick and Sylvia travel together.

 

Username: Sovless (Sov)

Name: Sylvia

Gender: Female

Age: 18

Faction: NCR

Armor + Appearance: Medium length straight brown hair, green eyes, freckles, 5'8. She wears what looks like a mix of Leather Armor and a Merc Charmer outfit.

Weapon: 10MM pistol, Police Baton

Other: Both Patrick and Sylvia travel together.

 

Username: ShadowBlade_ZX

Name: Chris

Gender: Male

Age: 19

Faction: Brotherhood of Steel (cuz they're awesome and LIBERTY PRIME I mean he's AWESOME)

Armor + Appearance: Chris With this armor (old BoS armor)

Weapon: A3-21's Rifle (just named Prototype Plasma Rifle)

Other: Not shur

Edited August 31, 2012 by 9pmg5665

[The Cataclysm]

MAy I use the Title AfterMath?

[9pmg5665]

Go ahead. It's not a title, as much as an after title, like reloaded, revenge, vengeance, ect...

[The Cataclysm]

Actually...I might not use it. I'm on the fence. I asked for the title when I was trying to make a half-idea form, but now its pretty much gone, and I have to come up with a new one. well, I guess that's what you get for rushing an idea for.

[9pmg5665]

OK. And also, technical Bump.

[9pmg5665]

Technical bump again. Please review or move, I want to make another and have it in storage or something.

[soupnazi]

Hi! I'm soupnazi and I'll be doing some critique on your roleplay today.

 

America has "Saved" or more of subjugated their population to crazy social or other types of lives.

 

This sentence makes absolutely no sense. Could you explain what you were trying to say?

 

For 100 years, the vaults stayed closed.

 

What vaults?

 

Then one from vault 13 came.

 

One what? Came where?

 

The water purification chip was broken and that one vault dweller fixed the problems of a half of Texas.

 

What water purification chip? What are vault dwellers? How did the vault dweller help Texas?

 

2270, VA, Washington D.C., the Brotherhood of Steel helped with Project purification, a project to purify radiated and salt water alike, fixing one of many major problems.

 

Who are the Brotherhood of Steel? I'm assuming that by "major problem" you're referring to a water shortage, in which case it would be better to say "fixing the water shortage" as opposed to "fixing one of many major problems".

 

While VD2 (Vault dweller 2) helped the BoS (Brother of Steel) prosper, he angered and finished off the Enclave- a group of overly patriotic BoS opposite, while very few Enclave remain.

 

Who is VD2? Explain the Enclave more--namely, their motivations and goals.

 

In the western America, The NCR ( New California republic) has just taken the Hoover dam after fighting the brutal but primitive Legion.

 

Who are the NCR? Who are the Legion?

 

I made this critique under the assumption this isn't just for those who know Fallout, as you never specified as such, but if it is most of my critique will be invalid (and I won't be able to do much more, because I'm not familiar with Fallout).

[9pmg5665]

1) The american government tried to save people by placing them in "Vaults". Underground nuclear bomb shelters, capable of even being held-up against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, or that's what signs advertised. It could barely hold up against the blast of one, much less direct impact.

 

2) Vault one to Vault 120+.

 

3) A vault dweller. Which is a survivor from a vault, that has decided to leave a vault.

 

4) Well all vaults were underground. They were connected to the nearest, sustaining water source, but were anticipated to survive fall-out and nukes. The used water purification ships to purify water.

 

5) The Brotherhood of Steel was the special tactics unit of the US military of 2077. They were used to build quick bunkers, supply, house, aid, and support civilians and soldiers of the US. Also used to interrogate and infiltrate the Communist army. The major problems would the nation wide water shortage, the mutant problem, raiders, and invading countries. ( Of which there are none. Every country was nuked to death.)

 

6) Vault Dweller 2 was the second vault dweller. He/she fixed project Purification, which purified part water at an alarmingly fast rate. The Enclave was an impostor of the US government. They used Uncle Sam as their representative. They wanted to help America by taking from Canada, South America, and other near-by countries. The BoS wanted to re-colonize America and control technology to bring America to it's former state. Though most differences ended there.

 

7) The NCR is a rising militaric power in the west. With them Rose the Rangers. The NCR's special tactics unit. The NCR used pre-war technology ( Guns, rockets, Ect.) While the BoS used lazers. The Legion was very primitive, choosing a Caesar. But making them primitive was that they used trash cans, motorcycle helmets, car parts, sharp blade, regular clothes, dirt, mattresses, and a whole bunch of other stuff to make their armor, weapons, and housing.

[soupnazi]

Though this is the fault of my own vagueness, questions I ask are typically meant to be answered in the roleplay, unless they can't. You also didn't address my grammatical critiques.

[9pmg5665]

Why would I? They were fine. I made the changes.

[soupnazi]

Why would I? They were fine.

 

What you're saying is, the grammatical issues I pointed out were incorrect?

[9pmg5665]

No.You addressed my grammatical errors. I fixed mine according to your changes.

Edited July 2, 2012 by 9pmg5665

[soupnazi]

At the time of my post, the second grammatical issue had not been dealt with, and you have still not clarified the sentence of my first critique.

 

Do you intend to add the answers to the questions I asked to the roleplay? And as a related question, is this intended for those who know Fallout, or for everyone?

[9pmg5665]

It is accessible by people who've never played a FO game before. I think I have but if I haven't you might have to make it up for me, or be more specific.

Edited July 6, 2012 by 9pmg5665

[soupnazi]

America's government has "Saved" or more of subjugated their population to crazy social or other types of lives.

 

You still have not clarified this sentence.

 

1) The american government tried to save people by placing them in "Vaults". Underground nuclear bomb shelters, capable of even being held-up against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, or that's what signs advertised. It could barely hold up against the blast of one, much less direct impact.

 

2) Vault one to Vault 120+.

 

3) A vault dweller. Which is a survivor from a vault, that has decided to leave a vault.

 

4) Well all vaults were underground. They were connected to the nearest, sustaining water source, but were anticipated to survive fall-out and nukes. The used water purification ships to purify water.

 

5) The Brotherhood of Steel was the special tactics unit of the US military of 2077. They were used to build quick bunkers, supply, house, aid, and support civilians and soldiers of the US. Also used to interrogate and infiltrate the Communist army. The major problems would the nation wide water shortage, the mutant problem, raiders, and invading countries. ( Of which there are none. Every country was nuked to death.)

 

6) Vault Dweller 2 was the second vault dweller. He/she fixed project Purification, which purified part water at an alarmingly fast rate. The Enclave was an impostor of the US government. They used Uncle Sam as their representative. They wanted to help America by taking from Canada, South America, and other near-by countries. The BoS wanted to re-colonize America and control technology to bring America to it's former state. Though most differences ended there.

 

7) The NCR is a rising militaric power in the west. With them Rose the Rangers. The NCR's special tactics unit. The NCR used pre-war technology ( Guns, rockets, Ect.) While the BoS used lazers. The Legion was very primitive, choosing a Caesar. But making them primitive was that they used trash cans, motorcycle helmets, car parts, sharp blade, regular clothes, dirt, mattresses, and a whole bunch of other stuff to make their armor, weapons, and housing.

 

This information is all important to the roleplay, as it is explaining things that people who haven't played Fallout wouldn't know. You need to work it into the roleplay, either by a wiki-type section or by explaining things as you come to them in the roleplay.

[9pmg5665]

Well you'd have to explain why it doesn't make sense. America's government has put their population into underground bomb-shelters but each one, called vaults with another number ( Ex: Vault 01), while putting them in social or mentally challenging or setting them up in strange environments or places. Vault 12 was made so that every-thing was solved with gambling or contests. But only people with claustrophobia went there. 200 years later, it developed into a phobia of wide open spaces by everybody. And I'll explain them as the Roleplay moves along.

Edited July 9, 2012 by 9pmg5665

[soupnazi]

If you didn't understand my issues with the sentence, why did you not tell me so?

 

My issues are with the grammar; specifically, what "or more of" means. Additionally, I have no idea what a "crazy social life" is, or what "other types" of lives there might be.

 

 

[9pmg5665]

Fixed it.

[soupnazi]

If you didn't understand my issues with the sentence, why did you not tell me so?

 

I realize this is gonna come off as kinda testy, and I apologize for that, but please answer the questions I ask.

 

America's government has Saved their population by putting people in crazy social or other types of environments.

 

It looks like you've removed the quotes from "Saved" and changed "lives" to "environments". The first one I have no issues with, but I have less an idea of what a "crazy social environment" would be than a "crazy social life", and I still don't know what these "other types" would be.

[9pmg5665]

Well, sorry for not answering but this is probably the most progress I've had with an RP. I get frustrated easily when something is hard to understand, or people are thinking that the problem is different then what the other person thinks it is.

 

I thought I did at first, but I didn't. I tried to but I couldn't. I do now, so that's good.

 

Fixed it. Hopefully.

[soupnazi]

Okay, thanks for answering!

 

I think I'm not very well suited to be critiquing this roleplay, so I'm gonna PM one of my fellow approvers to help me out. Shouldn't be but a little bit before they get to you.

[9pmg5665]

Ok. Thanks for helping. Hope to see you when I do an anti Nazi RP.

[gistofeverything]

Hello 9 love! You know me, and I have come here at my colleague's request.

 

First, you don't have a reserved post?

 

Though the war also collapsed the world government.

I don't like the way this sentence is put together at all. It seems that it could be combined to the previous sentence... Up to you.

 

America's government has saved their population by putting people in Vaults, Nuclear bomb proof bomb-shelters, meant to test its inhabitants with rules or permenant life-styles.

Nuclear shouldn't be capitalized.

You state "bomb proof" and "bomb shelters", which is redundant. Choose one and strike it.

Permanent.

Lifestyles.

 

Then one from vault 13 came.

Explain? You don't state how many Vaults you have.

Who is "one"?

Where did they go?

 

That's all I'll do for now.

Edited July 14, 2012 by gistofeverything