The Triggers Thread (Thread is safe)

[stogucheme]

I am pretty sure no one is asking for the world to be papered over with warnings and it is a bit disingenuous to take support of warnings as meaning anyone wants them every two minutes interrupting everything.

 

It is basically, be polite, and if you know it sends someone into a panic, give them a heads up.  If it is something that a significant portion of the population gets really upset about, it's probably a good idea for the warnings to be before the show or whatever, like a rating.  It isn't as if the people who have these triggers aren't already careful of what they watch, knowing what will happen if they run across something that triggers them!

 

The example you brought up with the child was clearly emotional abuse, it wasn't a case of having small warnings on bottles.  It was more like you telling your co-worker you would cover her cubical walls in squares if she didn't do what you asked, rather than saying, "Hey, this show, 'The Lives of Circles', it's really about squares, just to give you a heads up."

 

That's all it's about, not flying off the cliff of conclusions and saying it must be for everything under the sun and then some, and then every two minutes besides.  Otherwise, stogucheme wouldn't have outright said they didn't think commercials with gum chewing needed warnings!

Exactly. And as my one friend wrote, one person's TW can be another's enticement! She uses the content system rather than the rating system. Here's how it works.

 

The rating system has a panel of judges, or publisher/editor, or some such watch the movie/read the book beforehand and determine the rating. They then add a general list of what's big in the movie (sex, violence, language) and slap a PG-13 or whatever rating on it.

 

The content system takes everything in the book/movie that's noteworthy- but not spoilery- and lists it. (Type of main chara, gore, sex, location, etc.) They stick that on the book. It's much more effective because it both warns for triggers and tells you if you might like the book. This is what I want. And since you can find the rating in the info bar for movies already, I don't think it's a stretch to add the content system. (Though for limited space I'd add in the more triggering ones and omit the others.)

 

She also puts a summary blurb, just so you know.

 

Edit: War Pig Killer, what about people with deformities racing or participating in some other event? Would that be okay for you?

Edited November 16, 2011 by stogucheme

[CYDA LUVA83]

1.What are your triggers? I believe somewhere the unofficial name is Trypophobia. {I mean that whenever I see something with clusters of holes really close together like lotus pods and the general stuff you see if you were to look up Trypophobia on Gogle I always get really jittery. It's like wanting to run out of the room while ripping your hair out.}

 

2.How did you get them? Can't say for sure, always been really uneasy about it.

 

3.What do you wish people would Trigger Warn (TW) for? What images shouldn't be on posters/commercials/etc.? I don't really think there should be a trigger warn for it. As for the images, if people don't like them, don't look at them.

 

4.Do you think TWs are needed? Do you think it's wrong not to TW?

Only for the Triggers that the majority need because the minorities can't really expect to see TWs everywhere, so they could just normally be careful. If you had trypophobia, and you know a certain area of a park garden has lotus pods, stay away from that area, but if you were unaware and you saw them, all you have to do is walk away before any real panic/angxiety attack develops.

 

5.Anything else? (Like advice for how to calm yourself down, etc.?)

I just close my eyes, just to rid of the image. Or I leave the area with the Trigger in it. And if possible, I make myself some green tea.

Edited November 16, 2011 by CYDA LUVA83

[Xyzaq]

interesting. i don't think i actually have any triggers, besides bugs. but they don't really lead me into a panic attack, i just get rather irritated and slightly scared.

 

oh, i know.

 

lotus pods.

 

they creep me out. i think it's kind of like CYDA LUVA83's fear, but it lotus pods /only/. i've never had a reason why, either. i'm just terrified of them. usually i just kind of shudder and bury my face into something until they're out of sight.

[War Pig Killer]

Stogu: The fact they exist doesn't bother me, just the sight triggers that involuntary "that's not right" reaction. I try to work past it, but obviously I can't do it completely.

[stogucheme]

Stogu: The fact they exist doesn't bother me, just the sight triggers that involuntary "that's not right" reaction. I try to work past it, but obviously I can't do it completely.

...would it be okay if there were big TWs on it instead of total erasure? Because total erasure would be unfair to me (and I am not common-bodied; (TW: brief description of body parts that are not average) my leg is purple due to veinous malformations and more).

 

It's okay if you have a 'that's not right' reaction as long as you don't make it known to the person, don't make judgements based on it, acknowledge that it's an emotional reaction, and don't actually believe that's not right.

Edited November 16, 2011 by stogucheme

[Princess Artemis]

I'll third skeeviness on lotus pods, though it's gotten better as I've gotten older. I know they're natural but they don't look it!

[War Pig Killer]

...would it be okay if there were big TWs on it instead of total erasure? Because total erasure would be unfair to me (and I am not common-bodied; (TW: brief description of body parts that are not average) my leg is purple due to veinous malformations and more).

 

It's okay if you have a 'that's not right' reaction as long as you don't make it known to the person, don't make judgements based on it, acknowledge that it's an emotional reaction, and don't actually believe that's not right.

Of course I don't voice my reaction or make any judgements about it - I'm perfectly aware it's an entirely irrational emotional reaction, and thus I attempt to minimize its influence as much as I can. If there were warnings on it, I'd probably do better, though optimally I'd be in a situation where it doesn't come up, though that's not always possible.

[earthgirl]

I know that one of my triggers is people randomly bumping into me. I HATE to be hit on the hand, or back, or leg, even if it's the slightest touch and even if I know it's by mistake. It makes me ...rage on the inside and makes me want to make that person apologize to me, although sometimes they don't realize they hit me.

 

Tho, not an image in my case, its something that eventually happens and it's literally driving me mad.

 

I don't know what caused it, but I believe some traumas I've been through. I prefer not to talk about it, k.

[stogucheme]

Of course I don't voice my reaction or make any judgements about it - I'm perfectly aware it's an entirely irrational emotional reaction, and thus I attempt to minimize its influence as much as I can. If there were warnings on it, I'd probably do better, though optimally I'd be in a situation where it doesn't come up, though that's not always possible.

Sorry! I didn't mean to accuse you of doing so- bad point-getting-across skills for the fail.

It's good that you'd do better with warnings. Hmm...because non-common bodied people are just...not represented in the media much (and when they are, they're usually played by common-bodied actors/actresses like in Soul Surfer) you should be fine, yes?

 

I know that one of my triggers is people randomly bumping into me. I HATE to be hit on the hand, or back, or leg, even if it's the slightest touch and even if I know it's by mistake. It makes me ...rage on the inside and makes me want to make that person apologize to me, although sometimes they don't realize they hit me.

 

Tho, not an image in my case, its something that eventually happens and it's literally driving me mad.

 

I don't know what caused it, but I believe some traumas I've been through.  I prefer not to talk about it, k.

Would you like some sort of advice? Or are you totally not discussing it?

[Shienvien]

I am pretty sure no one is asking for the world to be papered over with warnings...  It isn't as if the people who have these triggers aren't already careful of what they watch, knowing what will happen if they run across something that triggers them!

The example you brought up with the child was clearly emotional abuse, it wasn't a case of having small warnings on bottles.  It was more like you telling your co-worker you would cover her cubical walls in squares if she didn't do what you asked."

 

The world, sorrily, is already filled with way too many warnings of things which technically aren't harmful - and warnings themselves, as I mentioned before, can cause fears. Now, threatening the child with something might be emotional abuse - I don't deny that -, but why is it different from what you compared it to... The person I mentioned (she's not my personal co-worker, though, rather simply a close acquaintance) already had an existing fear before your proposed scenario, derived either from some unknown faulty mental pattern or some nasty experience with square-shaped items. The child, however, does not fear the thing before he is threatened with it. The child wouldn't have the reaction if the environment didn't tell him it was something bad. Humans, as social animals, learn from others. Same with other animals. An animal often can't afford testing everything on its own skin - it would die early if it did - but instead it will see what its fellow animals warn it from. If a human sees WARNING: [insert a thing here] often enough, it can become imprinted as something one should react violently to, without the person formerly having any reaction to the object.

 

As stated twice before, I do agree one should definitely stay respectful towards people who already have triggers/phobias, as well as that some things should be TWed.

I think the main point of disagreement here is not so much the existence of TWs, but the frequency, location, and cases in which TWs should be present.

Such as I think that the things, which one would almost inevitably encounter in daily life, should not be TWed. You'll almost definitely see a dog, ocean, someone eating, et cetera, at some point. (I even would say that nudity is an overblown matter, since... well, I'd like to see how one avoids seeing oneself naked, as well as being naked doesn't actually harm anyone without related triggers, unless the environment happens to be hazardous - too cold, hot, what have you. But that's another topic.)

Things which are deemed very disturbing and do not fit in society, however, should be TWed - somewhere. You don't normally see extreme violence, abuse, gore and other similar in your real daily outside of on various screens... At least not when everything is normal and in order. If you do, there is probably a lot to be corrected, and quickly.

 

Hmm, and when the actual usefulness of TWs comes into play, since as I pointed out a person won't simply see them if they flick the TV randomly on or switch channels every now and then unless those are shown every two minutes... Wouldn't the more rightful place of TWs be on an entirely separate (I am having memory-gaps here.) list of programmes. The one you will take a look at when you want to know when a certain movie of programme starts. If one has a trigger severe enough to inhibit the one's functionality, ten seconds of checking the content of the channel before switching to said channel probably is for the best.

 

Erh, and I pick my books by opening those in the middle and reading a few pages... I am more concerned with whether the author has the ability to write well or not than with genre or content. The ratings I've often found inaccurate or outright incorrect and misleading, and even summaries can paint a very contorted image.

Edited November 16, 2011 by Shienvien

[stogucheme]

The world, sorrily, is already filled with way too many warnings of things which technically aren't harmful - and warnings themselves, as I mentioned before, can cause fears. Now, threatening the child with something might be emotional abuse - I don't deny that -, but why is it different from what you compared it to... The person I mentioned (she's not my personal co-worker, though, rather simply a close acquaintance) already had an existing fear before your proposed scenario, derived either from some unknown faulty mental pattern or some nasty experience with square-shaped items. The child, however, does not fear the thing before he is threatened with it. The child wouldn't have the reaction if the environment didn't tell him it was something bad. Humans, as social animals, learn from others. Same with other animals. An animal often can't afford testing everything on its own skin - it would die early if it did - but instead it will see what its fellow animals warn it from. If a human sees WARNING: [insert a thing here] often enough, it can become imprinted as something one should react violently to, without the person formerly having any reaction to the object.

 

[Adding content; somehow managed to post an unfinished entry]

Well, I became afraid of medical needles because {an incompetent nursing student dug into my arm for several minutes}, and it became my trigger. Triggers aren't just things that cause you fear for 'no reason.' They're things that hurt/affect you physically. That's it. No specification on causation or otherwise.

[Princess Artemis]

but why is it different from what you compared it to...

That's kinda easy. Giving someone a gentle heads up isn't emotional abuse. If it crosses over into patronizing, then it's heading in the wrong direction, but no one here is advocating patronizing anyone so far as I can tell.

 

The child in your scenario would have a bad reaction because they would know they were being threatened. Didn't matter with what, the threat is what matters. A warning on a cup of coffee isn't a threat.

[stogucheme]

That's kinda easy. Giving someone a gentle heads up isn't emotional abuse. If it crosses over into patronizing, then it's heading in the wrong direction, but no one here is advocating patronizing anyone so far as I can tell.

 

The child in your scenario would have a bad reaction because they would know they were being threatened. Didn't matter with what, the threat is what matters. A warning on a cup of coffee isn't a threat.

Oh! I just thought of the perfect example. Cigarette packs have warnings. GRAPHIC warnings. Diseased lungs and all that. Most smokers apparently don't get triggered by warnings, and the ones I want would be way less graphic.

[Shienvien]

Seems the other half of the society - the one promoting smoking - was stronger. Furthermore, you do not actually know how many people have stayed away from smoking because of the warnings, since they simply do not smoke. It mostly depends on whether the said person is prone to heeding warnings or not.

 

Also, I know triggers can either be induced by personal experience, be introduced by society, or be seemingly reasonless. Those do not have only a single possible cause.

 

 

(Lastly, I finished my previous post.)

Edited November 16, 2011 by Shienvien

[earthgirl]

Would you like some sort of advice? Or are you totally not discussing it?

Discussing it would totally deviate from the current topic.

 

[I believe the fact that I have been picked on a lot by my peers from childhood till HS must be the reason why my mind and body acts this way. I cannot help it and I am not sure what kind of therapy I would need to get rid of it. But if you want to give me an advice, I'd gladly take it. v.v ....in PM.]

[CYDA LUVA83]

I just found out that my dad doesn't care about my Triggers. He asked me if I was afraid of a honeycomb. I'm not AFRAID of it, it just makes me real anxious, those clusters of holes. I mean, there are levels of phobias, from mild to severe.

For me it's like

Honeycomb-mild

Lotus pods and frog eggs-semi severe

 

He laughed.

He LAUGHED AT IT.

Edited November 17, 2011 by CYDA LUVA83

[stogucheme]

I just found out that my dad doesn't care about my Triggers. He asked me if I was afraid of a honeycomb. I'm not AFRAID of it, it just makes me real anxious, those clusters of holes. I mean, there are lEvels of phobias, from mild-severe.

For me it's like

Honeycomb-mild

Lotus pods and frog eggs-semi severe

 

He laughed.

He LAUGHED AT IT.

...can I have your address? I'd like to strangle him.

 

It's awful that he did that, and I'm truly sorry. Most people don't realize how hard it can be for someone with triggers. Hm...I've got it! Read this...darn. I have to send it to you in a PM because the author curses. Well, when you get it, read it, and use the analogy to explain it to your dad if you want.

The analogy works for triggers if you switch the male privilege for...non-triggered privilege. Try it out. ^^

[Gsea]

I just found out that my dad doesn't care about my Triggers. He asked me if I was afraid of a honeycomb. I'm not AFRAID of it, it just makes me real anxious, those clusters of holes. I mean, there are levels of phobias, from mild to severe.

For me it's like

Honeycomb-mild

Lotus pods and frog eggs-semi severe

 

He laughed.

He LAUGHED AT IT.

OH GOD LOTUS PODS D:

 

That was not sarcasm. I hate those freaky little things. They make me shudder.

 

And your dad....wow. That's...that's cold. He laughed at your triggers? I'm sure my parents would do the same, lol. They have reason to believe that I'm not right in the head, so if I told them I was afraid of holes, they'd just look at me with that "Our daughter's a nut" expression...

[AngelKitty]

1. A trigger of mine: People eating/chewing gum.  Graphic descriptions of eating.  Images of anything making chewing motions.

 

2. How'd I get said trigger? (TW: Uh...?  I don't think there is, honestly.  It's pretty much a description of the symptoms of misophonia.)  {I have misophonia, which is an extraordinary sensitivity to soft sounds, especially related to eating and breathing.  And no, I'm not the only person in the world who has it.  Those sounds put my whole system into full on fight or flight and it's really upsetting getting flooded with adrenaline and rage for something so ordinary.  As far as I know, it's just something I have and always have had.}

 

I have misophonia, too. It actually started when I was a teenager, around 13-14, and it's only gotten worse. It strains my friendships and relationships, especially with my kid sister who really doesn't understand why I'm so obsessive about how she eats. I regularly get told by family members and friends that (whiting out for possibly graphic descriptions and some insensitive words) "people chew, get over it" and "you're being ridiculous" and "I don't care if you don't like it, I'm going to chew how I want and you can just deal with it and stop being stupid about it." People even torment me about it, for example, when I asked a friend to please chew quietly, he responded with a flat-out "no" followed by even louder chewing. He was lucky I didn't punch him in the face. I still have to resist the urge to punch him for that. My own mother once leaned over with a wad of gum in her mouth and chewed right in my face, and then yelled at me for being ridiculous when I flipped out. Well duh, you basically assaulted my eardrums, what did you expect me to do? >_> I can't even sit down at a family meal without wearing earplugs, which helps TREMENDOUSLY, but if I get caught wearing them I have to listen to a tirade of "get over it" and even "wouldn't it hurt your feelings if someone wore earplugs around you?"

 

I didn't even know what misophonia was until a couple of months ago. I told my mother about it and she's calmed down on the "get over it" front because of it. I still hide my earplugs from her and cover them with my hair, even though she's probably noticed by now. I think she's figured out it's a losing battle and is just not saying anything for the sake of avoiding drama.

[CYDA LUVA83]

Thanks Stogu, for the link, and Glamour, for being in the same situation (Those dang lotus pods!).

The 'Check Your Priviledge' article was interesting, Stogu. I'll be sure to use it in the future.

[Gsea]

Thanks Stogu, for the link, and Glamour, for being in the same situation (Those dang lotus pods!).

The 'Check Your Priviledge' article was interesting, Stogu. I'll be sure to use it in the future.

And Hershey's "Air Delights"

Gah .__. I saw a commercial for those today and I was like...EEEKK!!

 

I find it surprising that there are a few of you here who hate clusters of holes as much as I do. I thought that was just one of those weird things about me...lol.

[Princess Artemis]

I have misophonia, too. It actually started when I was a teenager, around 13-14, and it's only gotten worse. It strains my friendships and relationships, especially with my kid sister who really doesn't understand why I'm so obsessive about how she eats. I regularly get told by family members and friends that (whiting out for possibly graphic descriptions and some insensitive words) "people chew, get over it" and "you're being ridiculous" and "I don't care if you don't like it, I'm going to chew how I want and you can just deal with it and stop being stupid about it." People even torment me about it, for example, when I asked a friend to please chew quietly, he responded with a flat-out "no" followed by even louder chewing. He was lucky I didn't punch him in the face. I still have to resist the urge to punch him for that. My own mother once leaned over with a wad of gum in her mouth and chewed right in my face, and then yelled at me for being ridiculous when I flipped out. Well duh, you basically assaulted my eardrums, what did you expect me to do? >_> I can't even sit down at a family meal without wearing earplugs, which helps TREMENDOUSLY, but if I get caught wearing them I have to listen to a tirade of "get over it" and even "wouldn't it hurt your feelings if someone wore earplugs around you?"

 

I didn't even know what misophonia was until a couple of months ago. I told my mother about it and she's calmed down on the "get over it" front because of it. I still hide my earplugs from her and cover them with my hair, even though she's probably noticed by now. I think she's figured out it's a losing battle and is just not saying anything for the sake of avoiding drama.

I know exactly how you feel and RAAARRRGH at the people who did that because ARRRGH. People have done things like that to me, too, and it doesn't help in the least that I know it's completely irrational that I feel the way I do about something everyone has to do. I stopped eating with my family except for rare occasions when I was 16.

 

When I found out about two months ago that misophonia was real and I wasn't the only person on the planet who felt like that it was such a profound relief. Still sucked, but...yeah. My dad was the one who found it and I think, finally, a lightswitch went off, since he was the worst about telling me to get over it but now he doesn't so much.

 

I haven't found any good ways to deal with it, unfortunately. Having my family be more understanding about how sound sets me off helps though.

 

It wouldn't bother me a bit if you wore earplugs around me : ) I might ask you to spot me a pair though.

[stogucheme]

(TW: Cruelty/mild psychological torture.) {Okay. New story for you. Was in speech class- we were picking our topics. Someone chose 'Blood Donation.' I ask them, "When you make your power point, will you please not include any images with medical needles in them because I'll flip out?"

Kid is nice. Agrees. I think, 'Phew, I won't get a panic attack.'

Kid next to me leans over, says, "Don't worry- I'll make sure to include lots of needles in my presentation for you."}

What. The. Heck. Advice, please?

[Rosedamai]

1. What are your triggers?

Uh, fish and spiders. But images don't usually scare me-just the real thing.

 

2. How did you get them?

For the fish: I fell into a Koi pond when I was five. The fish in there must have been over 3 feet long, and they were at first frightened but later became curious of me, they came over and bumped into me, so I got really scared. To this day, when I swim in a river or something and I see a fish that's about the size of my hand or bigger, I freak out. The spider: When I was four, I think, there was this huge spider on my neck, I didn't know it until my mom pointed it out, I looked down and screamed.

 

3. What do you wish people would Trigger Warn (TW) for? What images shouldn't be on posters/commercials/etc.?

Well, if someone hates something, basically people shouldn't do it to them. That's my opinion.

 

4. Do you think TWs are needed? Do you think it's wrong not to TW?

To a degree- most people don't actively seek out triggers, and I think it's wrong of them to just shove the image in your face without warning.

 

5. Anything else? (Like advice for how to calm yourself down, etc.?)

I usually run away from the said thing.

[stogucheme]

5. Anything else? (Like advice for how to calm yourself down, etc.?)

I usually run away from the said thing.

Ah, I do that, too. I remember when my mom flipped the channel, and there was a triggering image, and I screamed and jumped behind the couch. *shudder*

 

It's terrible how you are afraid of spiders and fish, though. Do you get triggered at restaurants if they have aquariums?