The Tale of Asmodeus

[RegalPlumewing]

Prologue 

 

In the days of yore, there lived a Desipis dragon known as Asmodeus. He was born to rather nondescript Desipis parents, who, like most Desipises, hibernated for most of the year and only emerged in the autumn. When he emerged from his egg, his father doted on him immensely, knowing the child was his own blood. His adulterous mate had provided the family with several children of other species; there were several Ignis Cantomaris, a few Reds, a Grave or two, but most common were the Blacks. He did not reprimand her for her infidelity, but he knew he was not her only mate, and that none of her one-night mates had been a Desipis. So when the little Desipis emerged from its egg, he was thrilled. He christened the child Asmodeus, a name for a dragon of greatness whose legacy would live on for all eternity. Neither he nor his mate did anything to stop the other hatchlings from bullying young Asmodeus out of jealousy. They had no need to: from a young age, Asmodeus was quite a bloodthirsty fellow, and slew his bullying half-siblings with glee. Whenever he was hungry, he would go out and slay a weaker dragon if possible, or hunt for a large animal. He always did love to challenge himself, and one day, as an adolescent, he chose to take on a great challenge: slay his unfaithful mother. With words of encouragement from his father, he snuck into her den and slit her throat as she slept. He then feasted on her body and drank her blood.

When he was fully grown, he took on an even greater task: become the king of Galsreim, and stay on the throne for as long as possible. He traveled the land, offering strangers a choice: become his servant and bodyguard, or die. In this way, he amassed a large following, and a large body count. In his wake were the decaying corpses of those who futilely attempted to stop him, and with each innocent life he took, his power grew. One day, he decided that he had enough followers, and declared himself king, instructing his servants to spread the word and kill those who failed to respect his authority. Some of them never returned, but in the end, he soon had all of Galsreim under his thumb, and ordered that a palace be built for him in the mountains. Once construction had been completed, he decreed that any who challenge him for the throne shall be put to death.

Years passed, and King Asmodeus built his legacy as a fearsome tyrant who would slay all who opposed him. None ever dared threaten him, even though some select decrees of his were rather frivolous. Yet in the farthest corners of Galsreim, clans of dragons banded together, in the hopes of one day putting an end to his reign of terror. Those brave few who united against him never gave up hope that someday, the tyrannical regime of Asmodeus the Cruel would be overthrown and their world would once again know peace.

Worldbuilding

 

Dragons frequently live either alone, or in clans of 5-20 members. Though each clan has its own leader, each clan is subject to the laws of Asmodeus’s regime. There exists an organization known as the Clans United Against Asmodeus (more commonly referred to as the United Clans) that seeks to overthrow his regime. The United Clans is incredibly secretive and few outsiders know of its existence. Most members of clans that are part of the United Clans know a constructed language known as Lotus-petal. The only outsiders who have ever learned Lotus-petal have been defectors to the cause of the United Clans. In Lotus-petal, the phrase for "Clans United Against Asmodeus" is Wedj-Mafip Asmodeus Diull, or simply Wedj-Mafip.

In any clan, United or not, It is customary for each adult dragon to be a mentor and for each adolescent to be a student. The hierarchy of all clans is as follows:

Spoiler

Leader

Gets to make all the decisions. Upon their death, their student will take their place. If they never mentored a student, a power struggle may ensue. Unlike the other ranks, in which students are adolescents, students that are training to become a Leader are always adults.

Healer

Heals sick or injured dragons, regardless of rank or clan. Also performs various other roles, such as taking stock of food and raising abandoned hatchlings that the Brood Mothers have rejected. The hatchlings they raise will become their students.

Brood Mother

Female adults that are currently preoccupied with child-rearing. Once her children have become adolescents, a Brood Mother chooses either to become their mentor, to return to her former duties, or to stay in the nursery permanently and help new mothers raise their hatchlings.

Hunter

The bulk of the clan. As adolescents, they are raised to be fierce warriors and trained to efficiently kill prey. Those who have never been a Mentor and never plan to are often looked down upon and mocked by the others, though this is not the case in every clan.

Adolescents/Students

Too old to be considered hatchlings, but too young to be considered adults. It is customary for each hatchling as soon as it matures to choose whether to be a Hunter or a Healer. Those without mentors are typically bullied by the others and looked down upon by adult dragons, though not every student is a bully. In the event that an adolescent’s Mentor dies, typically either the dragon will choose a new one (after a period of grieving) or an adult will step forward and claim the adolescent as its student.

Edited June 19, 2022 by RegalPlumewing

[RegalPlumewing]

Rules

Spoiler

1. This should go without saying, but all regular DC rules apply.

2. For the sake of your fellow roleplayers' sanity, please use proper grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization when writing.

3. There is a limit of 1 character per person. You may not have additional characters without my permission.

4. No godmodding (having your characters do things that are overpowered), powerplaying (controlling another person's character without their permission), or Mary Sues (characters without any flaws).

5. Please take yourself and this RP seriously. Sarcastic posts may be removed.

6. You may not RP here unless you have signed up.

 

List of Characters

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Starlight

Spoiler

Owner: @RegalPlumewing

Species: Soulstone

Gender: Female

Clan: Pearl

Rank: Leader

Appearance: Slightly larger wingspan than most members of her species. On her right shoulder is a birthmark shaped vaguely like a nine-pointed star.

Personality: Like most of her kind, she is kind and cares deeply for her friends. However, she can be hasty and impatient.

Crushes: None

Mate: None

Enemies: None

 

 

List of Clans

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Pearl Clan

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Leader: Starlight

Other Members: None yet

Territory: Forest

Motto: Just because the world is cruel, doesn't mean you have to be

Allies: None

Enemies: None

 

 

Forms

Signing Up

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[center]I would like to sign up, please![/center]
[b]Dragon Name:[/b] (Must be unique)
[b]Species:[/b]
[b]Gender:[/b] (If the dragon is a one-gender breed like Radiant Angel, it must be that gender. No exceptions!)
[b]Clan:[/b] (Put "None" if they aren't part of one)
[b]Rank:[/b] (Put "Loner" if they aren't in a clan)
[b]Appearance:[/b]
[b]Personality:[/b]
[b]I have read the rules, agree to follow them, and will accept any punishments I may receive for breaking them:[/b] (Yes/No)

Please note that you can only have one character at a time. If you are unsatisfied with your current one and wish to have another, you must first kill off your current one.

Forming a Clan

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[center]I would like to form a clan, please![/center]
[b]Clan Name:[/b] (Like with dragon names, check to make sure nobody else has the name)
[b]Clan Leader:[/b] (if you do not own the dragon, you need their owner's explicit permission)
[b]Territory:[/b] (Alpine/Coast/Desert/Forest/Volcano)
[b]Motto:[/b] (Must be in English)

 

 

Edited June 19, 2022 by RegalPlumewing

[ValidEmotions]

Hi there, I'll be helping you through the approval process to get your thread going

 

Before I dig into any grammatical/spelling, I have a question regarding the beginning: you describe the family as 'nondescript', but then go on to detail how varied and unique the dragons actually are. Plus large in regards to family size. Additionally, why would Asmodeus being a Desipis dragon be of import to his father? What breeds are his parents that the variety of breeds the offspring turned out to be never once made the father believe any just simply took after the mother? (More particularly, how could none of the offspring take after the mother's breed?)

 

Second question: since the United Clans are secretive and work relatively "underground" to avoid detection, how do they remain in contact with each other? Are there ways of identifying fellow United Clans individuals/groups? Are there situations where an individual dragon from, for example, Clan A is sympathetic to or an ally of the United Clans but the entirety of Clan A isn't part of the force? How would such an individual come to learn of and be part of the United Clans with or without the fear of their secrets getting spilled to the unaffiliated clan?

[RegalPlumewing]

17 minutes ago, ValidEmotions said:

Hi there, I'll be helping you through the approval process to get your thread going

 

Before I dig into any grammatical/spelling, I have a question regarding the beginning: you describe the family as 'nondescript', but then go on to detail how varied and unique the dragons actually are. Plus large in regards to family size. Additionally, why would Asmodeus being a Desipis dragon be of import to his father? What breeds are his parents that the variety of breeds the offspring turned out to be never once made the father believe any just simply took after the mother? (More particularly, how could none of the offspring take after the mother's breed?)

 

Second question: since the United Clans are secretive and work relatively "underground" to avoid detection, how do they remain in contact with each other? Are there ways of identifying fellow United Clans individuals/groups? Are there situations where an individual dragon from, for example, Clan A is sympathetic to or an ally of the United Clans but the entirety of Clan A isn't part of the force? How would such an individual come to learn of and be part of the United Clans with or without the fear of their secrets getting spilled to the unaffiliated clan?

Thanks for pointing out those plot holes to me, I patched them up in the first post.

[ValidEmotions]

Apologies about the delay. I had things in real life crop up unexpectedly and demanded my attention.

 

Quote

Though each clan has its own leader, each clan is subject to the laws of Asmodeus’s regime, and there is an organization known as the Clans United Against Asmodeus (more commonly referred to as the United Clans) that seeks to overthrow his regime. The United Clans is incredibly secretive and few outsiders know of its existence, and each member of a clan that is part of the United Clans knows a constructed language known as Lotus-petal. 

You tend towards several run-on sentences throughout your writing. For the most part, it's fine to have a couple sparsely found within writing unless it's intended specifically for stylistic choices and/or structure purposes. These two sentences, most notably, could stand to be broken apart into smaller sentences. This will help with clarification/understanding and avoid potential confusion. I'd recommend doing a full sweep of your OP and seeing where some of the run-on sentences can be reworded/broken apart. You don't need to reduce every single one, but at least a few to help with clarity.

 

Less grammatical and more a question for understanding: why are dragons (adults and younglings alike) bullied for not having a student or mentor? What about in times where the clan doesn't have enough younglings to give every single adult at least one student? Or vice versa where not every youngling can get their own mentor? (And in the scenario where say the mentor or the student dies/is killed?)

Additionally, what is the purpose for classifying this behavior as a general/normal concept for all clans? Surely, with clans being created by members joining your thread, they're going to design a variety of personalities for NPC dragons and it's unlikely that every single one is going to be a bully/biased against those without a mentor/student.

 

Quote

This is a semi lit RP. No one-liners.

I understand the concern for placing this rule. However, it is unnecessary. The very nature of the DC and Other RP sections (not Freeform) in the Roleplay area are, by requirement, at least semi-literate. One-liners are already not allowed in these two sections. At minimum, there should be about 4 sentences or lines per post. Whereas Freeforms has no such requirements in general.  Though, if you wish to keep this rule listed, I would go ahead and clarify your idea of semi-literate. (i.e. What is your minimum required number of sentences or lines per post for this specific thread?)

Edited June 19, 2022 by ValidEmotions
typo