Posted January 10, 2012 (edited) Plot SkyClan was the fifth Clan, but were forced to leave the forest. Twolegs had invaded and taken over their territory and turned it into the Twolegplace cats see now. Their current leader at that time, Cloudstar, appealed to the other Clan leaders at a Gathering and asked for them each to give up some of their territory for SkyClan. Each Clan gave reasons to refuse to let SkyClan stay, and in the end, the Clan was driven out. Later, SkyClan was brought back by Firestar in a journey in which the ThunderClan leader, Firestar, traveled to the gorge to bring back the Clan. Now the clan is stuggling to rebuild itself, and they need your help! (P.S. This roleplay takes place a generation after Firestar leaves. This RP has nothing to do with SkyClan's destiny.) Modern SkyClan Modern SkyClan is a Clan of cats with strongly built hind legs which allow them to jump great heights or distances. They have rough, hard gray pads which help them to jump and walk long distances on hard, rough surfaces without breaking through the skin and causing infection; this feature allows them to climb and hunt in the trees, hence the name SkyClan. These powerful cats are a bit like ThunderClan and eat mainly squirrels, mice, and many kinds of birds. Territory Landmarks in this territory include: Camp - The camp is located at the base of a steep gorge, making it a tad difficult to be attacked. The camp is where all the cats live. There are many caves in which the cats make their dens. -The nursery is the cave just below the elders' den, with a narrow entrance to shield the cats inside from enemies and hot sunlight. -The apprentices' den is a small cave lower down in the cliff side, some ways away from the other caves. -The warriors' den is the highest cave in the cliff, with plenty of room for all of the cats. The whole Clan can shelter there if the river flooded. -The medicine cat's den is the lowest in the cliff, closest to the water and herb patches. -The elders' den is the cave just below the warriors' den; it is noted that the elderly cats never lose the ability to jump, and so can have the cave at this level. -The leader's den is a small cave a little ways from the others, at the bottom of the cliff, next to the trail that leads to the Skyrock. Skyrock - Where the leader makes announcements to the Clan. It's at the top of the gorge, so the Clan has a full view of the leader. Sandy Gorge - Is the hunting territory of SkyClan, and is located around the Gorge. Sky's Den - is the den that Skywatcher had. It is unused now, since Skywatcher passed away. Rockpile - is a pile of rocks where the warriors place the prey that they have caught. Twolegplace - are Twoleg Nests a little ways from the gorge. Modern SkyClan lives in a gorge located north of The Forest Territories at the end of the river. The dens are small caves in the cliffs of the gorge that used to have tiny rat clawmarks, but Leafstar then covered them up as a sign of their victory over the rats. They jump high into the trees with their powerful limbs to catch their prey, and have some attack moves dealing with the trees. The Skyrock is like ThunderClan's Highrock, where the Clan leader is able to make announcements and such. The gorge is very rocky, and cats need to either jump or climb to get to their high dens. In their camp, there is a river leading to a fallen tree. There is also a path to go to the forest. Near the territory is a Twolegplace and a Thunderpath. The Forest near the gorge is where the cats hunt. They also hunt in the forests by the Twolegplace and the forest that follows the river. The Whispering Cave is where the leader will receive their nine lives and where the medicine cat will go to share tongues with StarClan. The Clan Leader: Silverstar Deputy: Firelily Med. Cat: Rainleaf- Rainleaf is a small dark gray cat with green eyes. Med. Cat Apprentice: Quietpaw Warriors: Stonestep- Stonestep is a grey mackerel tabby. His paws, chest, chin, underbelly, and the tip of his tail are white, and he has bright green eyes. He has a heavy build, and the strong hind legs that most SkyClan cats have. Mossfang- Mossfang is blacker than a moonless night. Her pelt blends in perfectly with shadows and darkness, and at night her eyes are usually the only thing you can see besides a faint outline. Her eyes are a bright green that seems to glow in the night. She is slim and fast, although she does have strong hind legs, maybe not quite as strong as the rest of her Clan, but her speed is unrivaled. Lightningstreak- Lightningstreak is a slim, jet-black she-cat. She has small, rounded ears and a jagged streak of white fur across her left flank, thus the name 'Lightningstreak'. Her ears are a piercing green and her paws and the tip of her tail are white. Snowfur Apprentices: Soulpaw Angelpaw Queens: Open Kits: Pepperkit- Pepperpaw is a brown and black mackerel tabby, meaning she is brown and covered in thin black stripes. Her chest, chin, paws, and the tip of her tail are white, and her underbelly brown with a small bit of white at the very front. There is a small spot of light brown on her muzzle, and her eyes are a bright green. Her tail has slightly thicker fur at the end of it, like a lion's tail, though much smaller. She is rather large, but not bulky. On the contrary, she is rather slim and fast, although not nearly as slim and fast as a WindClan cat would be. Liliykit- A small silver tabby of petite stature, a feathery tail and slightly tufted ears, and dark amber eyes. Hazelkit- Cream-colored tabby with pale green eyes Nightkit- Jet-black fur, green eyes. Not a speck of white all over him. Elders: Open Apprentice - Mentors Angelpaw- Firelily Pepperpaw- Silverstar Lilypaw- Lightningstreak Nightpaw- Stonestep Soulpaw- Mossfang Hazelpaw- Snowfur Rules 1. Follow the rules or you will get onto one of the bad lists. To get on the yellow list you have to not follow a small rule. To get on the red list you either break a small rule again and again or break a big rule once. (p.s I decide what is a small rule and what is a big rule) 2. Follow dragon cave rules 3. No god-modding or power-playing 4. No spamming 5. Add the word StarClan in the password 6. Keep love PG-PG-13 (Mating is considered all right, since that’s the only way to keep a population stable, but please, no details) 7. You are not all powerful, and you have to die at some point 8. No cussing 9. Keep the fighting PG-13 (Not too much blood, OK?) 10. No Mary-sue/Gary-stu or anti Mary-sue/Gary-stu (no being perfect, or being a sad excuse for a cat) 11. If you are inactive for three weeks without notice your characters will be killed. (And i will very creatively do so. C:< ) 12. Only five characters per person. 13. Have fun (better not break this rule!) Translation Twoleg: Humans Horseplace: Horse stable Halfbridge: Dock Crowfood- Rotten prey Fresh-kill: Prey killed recently Sunhigh: Noon Moonhigh: Midnight Sunrise: Dawn Newleaf: Spring Greenleaf: Summer Leaf-fall: Autumm Leaf-bare: Winter Moon: Month Kitten-step, fox-length, tail-length, mouse-length, fox-leap: Forms of measurement Mouse-brain, snake-heart, fox-heart: Insults Mouse dung, fox dung: Curses Thunderpath: Road Monsters: Cars The cats use their own terms to describe certain things. Examples of this are the terms "twoleg" (person), "horseplace" (a stable), "halfbridge" (a dock), crowfood (rotten prey), and fresh-kill (prey killed recently). The cats also use more practical ways of measuring time and distance: sunhigh and moonhigh are noon and midnight, respectively. A moon is a used to indicate a month (but really indicates a lunar month). The seasons have their own names as well, with newleaf being spring, greenleaf being summer, leaf-fall being autumn, and leaf-bare being winter. Distance terms vary, from a kittenstep to a tree-length, but the most common examples are fox-length, tail-length, and occasionally mouse-length. Insults, exclamations, and phrases are also used. "Mouse-brain","snake-heart" "mouse dung", and "fox dung" are common expressions; "mouse-brain" is used as an insult, whereas "mouse dung" and "fox dung" are exclamations, usually used in frustration and anger. There are other examples of common phrases: a "mouse-hearted" cat is cowardly, while a "fox-hearted" cat is cruel or cunning. "Great StarClan", and "What in StarClan's name?" are used as exclamations of surprise and shock. "Thank StarClan!" is used as an exclamation of gratitude. A "thunderpath" is a road, while "twoleg monsters" are cars, trucks, vans, and other vehicles. Edited January 21, 2012 by Laurarockstar Share this post Link to post
Posted January 10, 2012 (edited) Character Sheet Forum Name: (Your Forum Name) Name: (Name of character) Gender: (Tom or she-cat or both(no jk)) Rank: (Leader, Deputy, Med. Cat, Med. Cat apprentice, Warrior, Apprentice, Kit, Queen, Elder) Personality: (Be descriptive) Mate and Kits?: (Current ones. If none put None) (EX. Mate is Honeyfur, No kits) Mate and Kits Wanted?: (EX. Yes mate, no kits) History: (At least 3 sentences) Description: (Optional) Picture: (Please add picture link) Accepted Sheets Forum Name: Laurarockstar Name: Silverstar Gender: she-cat Rank: Leader (For now) Personality: She is a caring respectful cat. She can stay calm through out most situations. Mate and Kits?: Her mate is dead and her kits are Snowpaw, Angelpaw, and Soulpaw. Mate and Kits Wanted?: N/A History: No one really knows... Description: Silver she-cat with long hair and ice blue eyes. Picture: http://warriors220.webs.com/Moonstripe.jpg Forum Name: Moonbeam22 Name: Firelily Gender: She-cat Rank: Deputy Personality: Very loyal, hardworking, and responsible. She puts full effort into everything she does, and she values the Warrior code above all else. She is a born leader, and makes good desicions. She always thinks of her Clan first. Firelily however is merciful, kindhearted, and very forgiving. Mate and Kits?: None Mate and Kits Wanted?: Yes, both History: Her mother was a loner all of her life. She died giving birth, and SkyClan took her in. She was an only kit, and was raised as a warrior. Description: Ehhhh see the pic Picture: http://streamclan123.webs.com/Angleflight.jpg Forum Name: cmw2625 Name: Quietpaw Gender: She-cat Rank:Med. Cat apprentice Personality: Odd, curious, and jumpy at times. Did I mention she is deaf? Mate and Kits?:None Mate and Kits Wanted?: No mate or kits History: She was born in the clan, but her mother died from black cough recently. Her father is Blackear, and her mothers name was Wildflower. She has always been deaf, and this has never caused any problems. Description: Pure white with blue eyes. Picture: http://www.greeka.com/members/user_images/...04c-0561_cr.jpg Forum Name: Stunningfire Name: Lightningstreak Gender: BOTH! jk female Rank: Warrior Personality/History (combined the two x3): Lightningstreak is an independent cat. She was the only kit of her litter and was also the only apprentice of her time. Being neglected by her parents and pretty much every cat in general, she decided to dedicate her life to StarClan, the Code, and her Clan. Therefore, all her decisions are made practically and according to the code. Lightningstreak trusts all her Clanmates with her life and would put down her life for her Clan anyday. Mate and Kits?: OPEN Mate and Kits Wanted?: yesh, both. :3 Description: Lightningstreak is a slim, jet-black she-cat. She has small, rounded ears and a jagged streak of white fur across her left flank, thus the name 'Lightningstreak'. Her ears are a piercing green and her paws and the tip of her tail are white. Password: (you forgot to add this) StarClan Forum Name: Stunningfire Name: Rainleaf Gender: female Rank: medicine cat Personality: Rainleaf is a loyal and hard-working medicine cat. She does her best to prove that she is worthy of SkyClan and does her best to train her apprentice, Quietpaw. Rainleaf is obedient to StarClan, the Code, and her leader and wouldn't dream of disobeying instructions deliberately. She knows all the herbs by heart and is very kind and loving to all cats. She also detests violence. Mate and Kits?: ofc not Mate and Kits Wanted?: no way. History: Rainleaf was born and raised as a rogue, living with her sister Snow after their mother had died. Their father had run away before they were kitted. One day, she received a dream in which starry cats told her that her destiny was to become this 'medicine cat' of this 'SkyClan'. Rainleaf had always had a knack with herbs, and she wanted to try this out. However, Snow told her that she had heard about SkyClan and had learned that they were blood-thirsty and fought whenever they got the chance. This was because the friend who had told her had trespassed and hunted on the SkyClan territory and had been chased out by a patrol. Rainleaf refused to believe it, and the two sisters parted ways. She knows now that SkyClan really isn't battle-thirsty, but a Clan of cats who believed in justice. To serve them with her gift of herbs has been Rainleaf's destiny all along, and she embraces it. Description: Rainleaf is a small dark gray cat with green eyes. That's all. Password: Forum Name: Backup77 Name: Pepperkit Gender: She-cat Rank: Kit; will become an apprentice today unless she does something really stupid and it gets postponed. Personality: Pepperkit loves learning stuff. Learning learning, learning, she'd do anything to learn stuff. She's one of the few kits who has a long enough attention span to listen to the elders tell stories about the old days, or about the other Clans that SkyClan used to live with. She can't wait until she gets a mentor to teach her more stuff, like stalking techniques and how to jump higher or climb faster. She hardly ever hesitates to ask a question, and always has tons of questions to ask. She usually has a long attention span, but as soon as she decides that she knows what someone's trying to teach her, she'll get bored and start to play with a leaf. Mate and Kits?: Nope. Mate and Kits Wanted?: Later History: Pepperpaw has had a rather average life. She was born and raised in SkyClan. Unfortunately, one day her mother, Sedgetail, was hit by a two-leg monster and died. Her father, Stonestep, is still alive, as well as her two siblings (Unnamed in case anyone wants them). Description: Pepperpaw is a brown and black mackerel tabby, meaning she is brown and covered in thin black stripes. Her chest, chin, paws, and the tip of her tail are white, and her underbelly brown with a small bit of white at the very front. There is a small spot of light brown on her muzzle, and her eyes are a bright green. Her tail has slightly thicker fur at the end of it, like a lion's tail, though much smaller. She is rather large, but not bulky. On the contrary, she is rather slim and fast, although not nearly as slim and fast as a WindClan cat would be. Picture: I don't have one, but I might get some later because I have a kitty that coincidentally looks exactly the same. And has the same name, just -paw instead of -kit. I guess you could use this picture until I can get a real one... (This pic is not mine. I found it on Google images.) And here's a warrior to be a mentor for one of the apprentices... Forum Name: Backup77 Name: Stonestep Gender: Tom Rank: Warrior Personality: Stonestep is calm and patient. He will explain things over and over again to apprentices with short attention spans, and his temper rarely flares. He is still in a little bit of pain after his mate, Sedgetail, died, but he has mostly gotten over it. Mate and Kits?: No mate; Kits are Pepperpaw, and two other apprentices. Mate and Kits Wanted?: He isn't really thinking about it, but a new mate would probably make him happy. History: Stonestep has had a fairly normal history; he was born and raised in SkyClan, never got severely injured, etc. He had a mate, Sedgetail, and they had three kits, one of them being Pepperpaw. Unfortunately, Sedgtail died shortly after the kits were weaned, and since then Stonefur has been a little bit more sad and quiet. A new mate would do him good, although he doesn't really know it. Description: Stonestep is a grey mackerel tabby. His paws, chest, chin, underbelly, and the tip of his tail are white, and he has bright green eyes. He has a heavy build, and the strong hind legs that most SkyClan cats have. Picture: Stonefur (It's not my picture. I just found it on google images.) And here's Mossfang, because every RP needs an evil cat... Forum Name: Backup77 Name: Mossfang Gender: She-cat Rank: Warrior Personality: Oh, where to start? Mossfang is cruel, ambitious, smart, patient, and good at acting. Not a good combination. She is good at making you think she is just a regular warrior, ready to serve her Clan, until you see her unmercifully slit another cat's throat. She would love to become leader, even if it means killing to do so. In fact, she loves killing. She's smart enough not to do it in cold blood, not in front of anyone, but if she see's a chance to kill a rouge in the middle of battle, she'll take it. She's not that cold-hearted to kill an apprentice, kit or warrior in cold blood, at least not from her own Clan, unless she thinks they'll only be a burden to SkyClan, or it's someone she needs to get rid of, in which case... well, you get the idea. Mate and Kits?: Nope. Mate and Kits Wanted?: Well, maybe, if she can find anyone as cruel as her... History: From birth, there always seemed to be something wrong with Mosskit. She loved to listen to the elders tell stories, but not ones about LeopardClan or StarClan or anything like that. Instead, she liked to hear tales of battle and the old Clans that SkyClan used to live with. When she got a mentor, things got even worse. If she had be given a different mentor, things might have been different, but she was give Thistlefang, a cruel tom. He told her about battle and how to sneak up on cats in the middle of the night, patience, and dangerous battle moves, ones that were meant to kill rather then to injure. Since she became a warrior, Mossfang has been waiting for a chance to become leader, and waiting for fights with rouges. She hasn't killed anyone... yet. Description: Mossfang is blacker than a moonless night. Her pelt blends in perfectly with shadows and darkness, and at night her eyes are usually the only thing you can see besides a faint outline. Her eyes are a bright green that seems to glow in the night. She is slim and fast, although she does have strong hind legs, maybe not quite as strong as the rest of her Clan, but her speed is unrivaled. Picture: Again, not mine. Forum Name: Hollyleaf Name: Lilykit (to be named Lilyfern) Gender: She-cat Rank: Kit (soon-to-be apprentice) Personality: Rather reserved, since Lilykit is the only kit in the nursery. However, she is quite cheerful and kind, and eager to help. Also inquisitive and hardworking, she is impatient to prove herself as a great warrior. Mate and Kits?: None Mate and Kits Wanted?: Yes, both (maybe apprentice love :3) History: Born and raised in the gorge, Lilykit's parents, Ashfern and Darkwind were killed by Twoleg monsters while hunting. At five moons old, she was alone in the nursery. So far, she's been rather lonely but knows she will be joining the other apprentices in the nursery soon. Description: A small silver tabby of petite stature, a feathery tail and slightly tufted ears, and dark amber eyes. Picture: Forum Name: Stun Name: Hazelkit (Hazelcloud) Gender: She-cat Rank: Kit--->apprentice c: Personality: Hazelkit is shy and thoughtful. She will never jump into something without thinking it over first, and would rather solve a conflict by discussing it rather than fighting. She's a quick learner and thinks for herself rather than following what everyone else is doing. Mate and Kits?: None Mate and Kits Wanted?: In the future. c: History: Hazelkit was born and raised in SkyClan. Her mother, Sedgetail, died at the paws of a two-leg monster. Her littermates are Pepperkit and Nightkit and her father is Stonestep. Description: Cream-colored tabby with pale green eyes Forum Name: Stun Name: Nightkit (Nightfur) Gender: Tom Rank: Kit--->apprentice c: Personality: Nightkit is quiet and generally very obedient. He is never afraid to voice his thoughts however, and is very stubborn. Nightkit isn't selfish at all and would give anything to help his Clanmates (and littermates especially) if they were in trouble. Mate and Kits?: None Mate and Kits Wanted?: In the future.~ History: Nightkit was born and raised in SkyClan. His mother, Sedgetail, died at the paws of a two-leg monster. His littermates are Pepperkit and Hazelkit and his father is Stonestep. Description: Jet-black fur, green eyes. Not a speck of white all over him. Edited January 21, 2012 by Laurarockstar Share this post Link to post
Posted January 10, 2012 Hi! I'm Moonbeam22, and I will be doing some critique on your roleplay today! First off, your plot is a bit vague. Many people who have not read Warriors do not know much about where the other four Clans live, what the territory was like, etc. You would need to explain Clan life a little bit more as well. Second, you may want to explain terms. You did so for the territory, but not everything else. You may want to put what twolegs, StarClan, Thunderpath, and stuff like that are. Also, you should give examples of names and such, so people don't go naming their character that's a kit, Dovefeather or something like that. Could you possibly decribe the territory's flora and fauna a bit more? You gave some prey, but what about other animals/threats? What kind of trees and plants grow there? Are there foxes, wolves, or badgers living nearby? Will you be playing as your kits? Can other people apply to be one of them? Here's what else I found: SkyClan was the fifth Clan, but was forced to leave the forest because Twolegs had invaded and taken over their territory, turning it into the Twolegplace cats see now. This is a REALLY long sentence. Try making something like this: SkyClan was the fifth Clan, but were forced to leave the forest. Twolegs had invaded and taken over their territory and turned it into the Twolegplace cats see now. Camp - The camp is located at the base of a steep gorge, making it a tad difficult to be attacked. Exactly WHAT is the camp to the cats? Modern SkyClan lives in a gorge located north of The Forest Territories at the end of the river . Too many spaces between river and the period (sorry it's bugging me ) That's all I have so far! I PMed you an application, cause this looks really fun. Just and FYI, I do know all of the background and such, but many other people do not. That's all! Share this post Link to post
Posted January 11, 2012 I think that thought it is good to be descriptive, everyone should read the books to find out. No use in posting an entire page long description when they could just read the origanal text. Share this post Link to post
Posted January 12, 2012 Ya, this is mostly for people who have read it. '^^ Share this post Link to post
Posted January 14, 2012 Before I do a big critique, there are some things I'd like to address first. 1. This is mainly to be RP'd by people who have read the Warriors series, so you might want to say that at the top. 2. You might want to make a key. For example: TRANSLATION: Twolegs- humans Twolegsplace- human civilization And etc... Share this post Link to post
Posted January 14, 2012 Um, I think you have a little bit mixed up. The Skyrock is where SkyClan gathers every full moon, since it would take too long to go the the Great Rock at Fourtrees. Rockpile is where the SkyClan leader announces things, but it is also where they keep the fresh-kill pile. Share this post Link to post
Posted January 14, 2012 Actually, if you look at the map- thats how it is. And DONE Share this post Link to post
Posted January 15, 2012 Alright! This is lovely. You might want to give a sentence or two about the other clans, though, just in case. Share this post Link to post
Posted January 15, 2012 (edited) The other clans kicked them out, they are not in this rp... Edited January 15, 2012 by Laurarockstar Share this post Link to post
Posted January 15, 2012 (edited) You might want to make your translations paragraph like: Twoleg~human Horseplace~stable etc. just to be neater otherwise it looks good. I'll be joining this when it's approved twinnie EDIT: typo Edited January 15, 2012 by Stunningfire Share this post Link to post
Posted January 15, 2012 You might want to make your translations paragraph like: Twoleg~human Horseplace~stable etc. just to be neater otherwise it looks good. I'll be joining this when it's approved twinnie EDIT: typo Yay! But i don't know all of the words... Share this post Link to post
Posted January 15, 2012 sort out what you do know right now and I can help you out. right now I'm too lazy to look through the paragraph hehe Share this post Link to post
Posted January 15, 2012 you know you can delete the last paragraph, right. uhm sunrise=day. that's all I can think of at the moment x3 Share this post Link to post
Posted January 15, 2012 But it's just repetitive and you didn't add the sunrise=day 0:-) Share this post Link to post
Posted January 15, 2012 They have rough, hard gray pads which help them to jump and walk long distances on hard, rough surfaces without breaking skin, which makes them infected You make it sound like the pads make themselves infected you might want to rewrite it to: They have rough, hard gray pads which help them to jump and walk long distances on hard, rough surfaces without breaking through the skin and causing infection. They are very powerful cats, who are a bit like ThunderClan, eating mainly squirrels, mice, and many kinds of birds. "These powerful cats are a bit like ThunderClan and eat mainly squirrels" etc. The warriors' den is the highest cave in the cliff, with plenty of room for all of the cats. The whole Clan could shelter there if the river flooded. Tense change, it should be "The whole Clan can shelter there" it is noted that the elderly cats never lost the ability to jump, and so could have the cave at that level. again, tense change; "never lose the ability" and "can have the cave" etc. The dens are small caves in the cliffs of the gorge that used to have tiny rat clawmarks, but Leafstar then covered them up as a sign of their victory. I think you should add "over the rats" at the end to be clearer. The Skyrock is like ThunderClan's Highrock, where the Clan leader would be able to make announcements and such. tense change; "where the Clan leader is able to make" etc. (Mating is considered all right, since that’s the only way to keep a population stable, but please, no detales) *details If you are inactive for three weeks without notice your characters will be killed. (And i will very creativelly do so. C:< ) *creatively that's all the small minor errors I can find :3 btw I call medicine cat, hehe Share this post Link to post
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