Posted January 28, 2012 Hey. This is a place for me to dump all my writing stuff and hopefully get critique. I'm working on making my paragraphs longer, as most of my pieces consist of two hundred tiny paragraphs. I have a habit of starting projects, but getting bored and never finishing them, so don't expect regular updates. So far, I only have one piece that I'm willing to post here, so here it is: The Santa Project Soft flurries of snow floated down on the quaint Snowpoint City, wrapping the village (as it wasn't quite deserving of the title "city") in a sparkling white blanket. The log cabin-esque homes of Snowpoint spouted smoke into the starry night sky. Inside the homes, parents settled into their beds, children dreamed of elves and flying Stantler, and Pokemon huddled by the fire. However, in one cabin, the modest Hobbs household, not everyone was asleep. ~~~ "I hope she won't be disappointed," the woman said, strands of mousy hair covering her despondent eyes. "She'll understand. We have to pay the bills, honey," her husband responded, his voice lacking any of the joy that is usually running rampant on Christmas Eve. "But what about Santa? She asked him for a Ponyta. There's no way we could afford one of those. And that's just one thing on her list. It's four pages long," the woman replied. "Vanessa, life is full of disappointments. She has to learn that." "Graham, she's only five!" Vanessa exclaimed, desperation growing her voice. "There's nothing we can do." And, with that, the conversation was over, and the two parents reluctantly retreated to their bedrooms. But, unbeknownst to them, their conversation was not a private one. Just in the other room in fact, there were three shocked eavesdroppers sitting around a dying fire. "We have to do something. There's only one present under the tree for Sarah," the Mamoswine exclaimed, gesturing to the measly, half-dead evergreen that was just barely tall enough to house three small gifts. "But what will we do?" the Delibird asked. "She wants a freakin' Ponyta, Manny." "We have to do something, Dexter. Imagine her coming downstairs tomorrow morning expecting dozens of great presents, and seeing an old, beaten-up cardboard box instead," Manny replied. "Winnie's the smart one. Maybe she has some ideas." Both Pokemon looked over to the Weavile in front of the fire, but the weasel was feigning sleep quite convincingly. When Manny nudged her, she only offered a snore. "Come on, Winnie, we know you're awake," Dexter moaned. "Your nocturnal, for Mew's sake." "Alright, alright, fine. I'm up," Winnie said as she opened her eyes. "But, if you must know, she's not going to want just a few gifts. Kids these days are all about material. 'It's the thought that counts' is the most outdated phrase I've ever heard," she continued, nonchalantly admiring her claws. Although Dexter was a bit miffed at that comment, Manny kept going. "What does she want, though? The only thing she talked about was the Ponyta, and we're not going to find one of those in just a few hours." "Easy. There's a Toys R Us half a mile north of here. We just get anything that looks pink and girly," Winnie stated matter-of-factly. "Oh. Okay!" The mammoth's face lit up as he looked over to his penguin companion. "Let's go!" ~~~ "Closed? How could it be closed?" Manny asked to no one in particular. "Well, of course it's closed," Winnie replied. "What store is open on Christmas Eve night?" "It would've been helpful if you told us that before we hiked up here," Dexter deadpanned. "Now, what's the fun in that?" the Dark-Type teased. Dexter just glared. "Wait, wait. Maybe we could find her something in the forest," Manny suggested. "I know! A Christmas Tree! We'll find one much better than that brown one in the corner." The other two Pokemon stared at him. "Well, it's not like you have any better ideas," Winnie remarked. Dexter opened his mouth, but then closed it as he realized she was right. They didn't have any better ideas. "Okay," Dexter grumbled. "You're right." The last sentence was just barely audible. "I didn't quite catch that last part," Winnie smirked. "You're right!" Dexter replied, a bit louder this time. "Still can't hear you!" Winnie sang gleefully. "YOU'RE RIGHT! There, I said it. Happy now?" The weasel leaned back against a tree and nodded. ~~~ Winnie and Dexter wandered around the dark, snowy forest, searching for an evergreen small enough for the Weavile to cut down. They had long since lost sight of Manny, but they weren't that worried. There weren't many Pokemon that would dare go up against a trained Mamoswine. "This one?" Dexter inquired, gesturing to a four-foot tall pine tree. "The trunk's too thick," Winnie answered. "We need a thin one." "Can't you even try? We've been out here for an hour! I'm starting to think that you-" Dexter was cut off by a loud rustling sound. He turned to find Manny with a small, unconscious Abomasnow in his tusks. At least, he hoped it was unconscious. "Oh, Arceus," Winnie exclaimed. "Did you kill it?" "No, it's sleeping. I think," Manny replied, looking unsure of himself. "But it will make a great Christmas tree, right?" Dexter nodded, still too shocked to speak. "Yeah, Manny," Winnie said. "That'll make one hell of a Christmas tree." "But we still need presents to put under it," Dexter whined. "This won't make up for her only getting one present." "Yeah," Manny agreed, his eyes downcast. "Sarah still needs toys. Toys are fun." "If I get you guys the toys, will you shut up?" Winnie snapped. They both nodded. Dexter began, "But how will you-" "I have my ways," she cut him off. And with that, she was gone. ~~~ "I knew it. She ditched us," Dexter groaned. "We shouldn't have trusted her to go off on her own." "No she didn't," Manny refused, still in denial. Tears welled up in his eyes. "She's our friend." "Let's go home." The two Ice-types, were cold, tired, and depressed by the time they got back to the cabin they called home. But just before they walked up to the door, a dark figure jumped up onto the roof. Upon further inspection, the figure was revealed to be Winnie the Weavile, carrying a large, burlap sack that was filled with what seemed to be toys. And was that a Pokeball in her other paw? "Winnie! She came! With presents!" Manny exclaimed. He would have been jumping up and down in glee, but there was still a large, unconscious (as they had deemed it alive) Pokemon in his tusks. Dexter could only stare in disbelief. Winnie smirked, as if to say "I told you so," then jumped down the chimney. ~~~ Sarah Hobbs was delighted when she woke up on Christmas morning. "Santa did it! He's real! He's real!" she exclaimed proudly. Her parents, although extremely befuddled, were too content with their daughter's joy to question how the stuff had gotten their. In the corner, where there was once a half-dead evergreen was now a large Abomasnow covered in ornaments. Tinsel and strings of popcorn trailed the fur of the beast, which was, thankfully, still asleep. The ground was littered with Barbie and My Little Ponyta dolls, and, sitting by the fire next to Manny, Dexter, and Winnie was a real, live Ponyta. It was the happiest, most beautiful Christmas in Sinnoh. That is, until the Abomasnow woke up. ~~~ A week later, everything was still going well. But Vanessa and Graham still couldn't figure out how all of the gifts had gotten there. However, the answer came to them that day. Vanessa was washing the dishes when there was a loud rapping on the door. When she answered the door, she was surprised to see the local Officer Jenny standing in the doorway. "May I help you?" the mother asked. "Ma'am," the officer began, brushing blue strands of hair out of her face, "you and your husband are under arrest for robbing Snowpoint's Toys R Us and stealing a young man's Ponyta." It's probably pretty bad, because I never edited it and Christmas was weeks ago, so critique would be awesome. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 24, 2012 They called me weak. They called me useless. They called me nothing but a pretty little bunny that couldn't fight for his life. I guess I just snapped. I don't know. I blacked out, and-and, oh Arceus, forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt them. I really didn't. I just couldn't take it anymore. ~~~ "Why are you even on the team?" the Monferno teased. "You could't hurt a Wurmple." "Yeah," chimed in the Floatzel standing beside him. "Trainer just keeps you around because she thinks Lopunny are pretty. You mean nothing to her. She'd replace you in a heartbeat if she found a female." That was it. That was the last time. I was sick of this abuse. I couldn't take it; I let it out. "I AM SICK OF YOU!" I screamed, pouncing on the Floatzel. As I scratched up his face, I shouted, "All I've done for you is be nice. And this is how you repay me? I won't put up with you anymore! I'M," I leapt up and, with a quick kick to the neck, killed the Pokemon. "DONE!" I finished, panting. Monferno stared, shocked. He couldn't process anything. He looked like an idiot, his mouth wide open. I almost yelled, "Catch any Butterfree?" But then I remembered what I just did. I hopped over to a puddle and stared at my reflection. Could I really have done that? I killed someone. A tear dripped down my cheek. Without a word, I sprinted into the forest, officially abandoning life as I knew it. ---- This is probably really bad, considering I wrote it in five minutes. |D I was bored and felt like writing something, so this is what came out of it. Just wanted to dump it somewhere. |D Share this post Link to post
Posted March 28, 2012 That first story, the Christmas one, I really liked. The ending was hilarious. IMO, though, it would work much better as a comic than a story. As for the Lopunny one... while it sounds like it could have been pretty interesting if I actually knew the characters. As it is, it just seems cheesy. Share this post Link to post
Posted August 15, 2012 That first story, the Christmas one, I really liked. The ending was hilarious. IMO, though, it would work much better as a comic than a story. As for the Lopunny one... while it sounds like it could have been pretty interesting if I actually knew the characters. As it is, it just seems cheesy. Haha, thanks. |D If I could draw, I probably would've made it a comic. yeah, I know what you mean. I wrote that on a random whim, and I regretted it later, but I forgot to take it down. ~~~ i tried and failed at writing a poem. . Warning: Link may contain epic fails I'm not completely satisfied with it. I think I got the message across, but it doesn't flow well enough. I might revise it later. (Sorry for the late post, I kinda forgot I had a thread here. ) Share this post Link to post
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