Q&A: Questions and Answers

[S9429183F]

My shoes' leather is peeling off. The shoes look unsightly but still wearable. Can the leather be replaced or changed to patent?

[azaria]

Does anyone have experience with PTSD? My friend almost died drowning two years ago, and had a flashback in front of me the other night. How do I help her deal with this? I don't want her to feel scared or alone while she's having an attack.

[Omen]

As someone with PTSD, but not one who gets flashbacks (I'm irritable/avoidant/amnesiac), my best advice is to be there for her. Whenever someone broaches the topic with me, and if I'm not in the mood to talk about it, I clam up or get angry. I've done my best to avoid going anywhere near places that resemble where my trauma occurred, so I need a lot of coaxing to get health checkups and the like since it occurred at a hospital. For me the best thing for coping with it has been reassurance and the understanding that I'm not being an inconvenience or burden when I'm not ready to go somewhere or do something. I need respect for my boundaries in conversation but on the same token, I don't tolerate coddling (as in, excessive sympathy - I tolerate it from people I don't know to an extent, but family members know when enough is enough). Being treated the same as I always have been, and not like I'm broken or defective is a big thing too.

 

Have you ever tried talking to her about it, or asked her what triggers the flashbacks? You sound like an awesome friend to have, so thank you for wanting to be supportive of your friend through these times.

[Kestra15]

Does anyone have experience with PTSD? My friend almost died drowning two years ago, and had a flashback in front of me the other night. How do I help her deal with this? I don't want her to feel scared or alone while she's having an attack.

I like cuddles. Cuddles are good. But sometimes you have to give me the space to curse and splutter first; best to wait for me to take a deep breath, then ask if I want a hug. If I say 'no' it's because I still feel 'prickly' - quite literally, I feel like I'm covered in lots of little spikes and pricks, and that touching someone will hurt them. But I will eventually ask or be wrapped up in a little ball on the bed and in need of them.

 

Mental health and coping with it is different for every person however. I'm just one perspective.

[azaria]

Thanks guys I'll talk to her about what she needs when she's not coping.

[Lady_Lunevis]

hh so i have a tiny little question!! bumps this thread up a bit like oops

 

i've recently gotten rly into bright lipsticks, mainly different shades of red, and i really love them bc they make me feel great and powerful like heck yea <33

i keep my other makeup to a minimum to avoid overflooding my face, and mainly just show off my lipstick.

i've asked a lot of people about this and the response is generally both good and bad, but i'm not sure if it would be appropriate to wear lipstick to school, since school is rather,,, modest. on one hand i wanna be like heck yeah i'm unique shine bright like a diamond but on the other i'm like omg hides face don't look at me

 

so what's your opinion on wearing it to school/work/outside?? O:

[yosofine]

Wearing it "outside" = oh yes.. YES! Let your Lips Shine!

 

Wearing it to work = maybe.. look around, do the other workers have bright sparks of color or unique clothing.. if so, join in.. if not, mute the color a little. Sometimes you have to be like the crowd but glow a little in your own way.

 

Wearing it to school = Same as work. School is your job until you join the public work force. Be strong, but not negative. Glow instead of glare.

[Lady_Lunevis]

Wearing it "outside" = oh yes.. YES! Let your Lips Shine!

 

Wearing it to work = maybe.. look around, do the other workers have bright sparks of color or unique clothing.. if so, join in.. if not, mute the color a little. Sometimes you have to be like the crowd but glow a little in your own way.

 

Wearing it to school = Same as work. School is your job until you join the public work force. Be strong, but not negative. Glow instead of glare.

yess omg wearing it outside is best <33

 

thank you so much!! i love the 'glow instead of glare' part. c: i'll definitely take a look around to see what is generally worn around school and decide upon that! : ^ )

[georgexu94]

I am starting to return to guitar. I need some help as to where to begin. Where to get music sheets?

 

Also any suggestion for songs that is good for beginners? Should I play only chords or strumming each note?

 

Also, how to learn the strumming sequence?

[MedievalMystic]

Congrats, George!

 

http://www.8notes.com

 

I found that link online. There are a lot of resources out there to help get you started. There's free sheet music you can print out, you can watch videos on youtube, websites with tips and tricks for all skill levels from beginner to expert. You could check out music stores as well. They can probably answer any question you have.

[georgexu94]

Thank you! I find it frustrating that most sites I got gives only a preview of the music sheets and you need to register or buy if you want the whole version.

 

And I've been seeing a lot of guitar tabs. As I know how to read and understand them, I prefer going to the basic beginnings.

[Raistlin24]

George, I use this site when I look for sheets to play. There are both tabs and chords sheets. Many have information of the suggested level and if you put the mouse over the notes, it tells you how to put the fingers. It's very useful if you come across a note that you have never seen before. You don't have to register or buy anything to get the full sheet.

[georgexu94]

George, I use this site when I look for sheets to play. There are both tabs and chords sheets. Many have information of the suggested level and if you put the mouse over the notes, it tells you how to put the fingers. It's very useful if you come across a note that you have never seen before. You don't have to register or buy anything to get the full sheet.

Ultimate Guitar? But I'm using that and you say there's music sheets? I only see chords and tabs but not how to play in a music sheet. I suppose I am not using the site to the full potential?

 

Edited: I wanted to play these two songs as a beginner before I go to more difficult ones:

Ikaw Pa Rin: http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/t/ted_ito/..._pa_rin_tab.htm

Still by Hillsong: http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/h/hillsong...d/still_crd.htm

 

For Ikaw Pa Rin, I can play the intro with no difficulty but when it comes to the main, I don't know when to change chirds and the strumming sequence.

 

For begginers, is it good to use Smule Guitar? I think it is more of tabs

 

^^ I really appreciate all your guidance and answers. >.< I don't know why I'm still having problems. I'm a slow learner. I already know the theoretical part like reading notes, chords, but putting into play is difficult. Music isn't an exact science.

Edited March 28, 2015 by georgexu94

[Raistlin24]

Ultimate Guitar? But I'm using that and you say there's music sheets? I only see chords and tabs but not how to play in a music sheet. I suppose I am not using the site to the full potential?

Sorry, with music sheets I meant the sheets with chords and tabs. I don't think they have music sheets in the sense of sheets for any instrument. Is this what you're looking for? Even though I can read music notes, I was taught to play with chords and tabs sheets, but I can ask some friends if they know any other pages. I've never seen them using piano-like sheets though.

[georgexu94]

Sorry, with music sheets I meant the sheets with chords and tabs. I don't think they have music sheets in the sense of sheets for any instrument. Is this what you're looking for? Even though I can read music notes, I was taught to play with chords and tabs sheets, but I can ask some friends if they know any other pages. I've never seen them using piano-like sheets though.

Oh sorry. This is embarrassing. I didn't know what I was looking for. No wonder I'm confused. I have been looking on just how to play the guitar but was looking for piano sheets then gets frustrated when they don't have chords.

 

Anyway, I will be continuing through PM since I've been going over a lot of posts in this thread.

[Obscure_Trash]

Does anyone know how I can lower my heart rate? It's been abnormally high all my life and never bothered me, but ehhhhhh...

Sounds like something you should talk to your doctor about.

[Kestra15]

Sounds like something you should talk to your doctor about.

And define 'abnormally high.'

[S9429183F]

My crush liked me first since 2012 before I liked him back a year later. Our crush is still ongoing. Last night I sent a WA msg to my crush at the time his plane was about to depart for Europe. This msg goes like this, 'Hey, you may not be expecting this but I wish you a safe trip to Europe! Enjoy your tour there!' I stalk him on Twitter but I do not own a Twitter account, which he likely knows. I found out he was going to Europe via there. However, the msg was last seen but not replied to.

 

3+ months ago, in Korea, on the midnight of his birthday, I wished him happy birthday and all the best for his internship on WA(first time WAing him) and he replied immediately. I expected him not to reply as we only interacted once in my year 2 before I WAed him. A few days after I sent him the birthday msg, we met each other on campus(cos he was remoduling so had to return to school). I waved awkwardly to him and he waved back with an open mouthed smile.

 

Before I sent the Europe trip msg, the last time we saw each other was at Prom Nite a month back where he found out I came for the event; things were rather awkward there. After returning from the stage(he was elected as prom king and discovered me while he was on stage), he sat at the same table as me(opposite me but back turned) and after I had to leave the ballroom cos it was closed, he walked in my exit direction(towards me), we had brief eye contact but did not acknowledge each other(like ignoring cos too awkward for me to do so).

 

Was sending the msg wishing him a safe trip to Europe a horrible move(prolly cos I made it obvious that I found out he was going there on Twitter)? Why he did not reply this time? Is it over between us?

Edited May 4, 2015 by S9429183F

[Obscure_Trash]

My crush liked me first since 2012 before I liked him back a year later. Our crush is still ongoing. Last night I sent a WA msg to my crush at the time his plane was about to depart for Korea. This msg goes like this, 'Hi, this may be unexpected but I wish you a safe trip to Korea! Enjoy your stay there!' I stalk him on Twitter but I do not own a Twitter account, which he likely knows. I found out he was going to Korea via there. However, the msg was last seen but not replied to.

 

3+ months ago, in Korea, on the midnight of his birthday, I wished him happy birthday and all the best for his PRCP on WA(first time WAing him) and he replied immediately. I expected him not to reply as we only interacted once in my year 2 before I WAed him. A few days after I sent him the birthday msg, we met each other on campus(cos he was remoduling so had to return to school). I waved awkwardly to him and he waved back with an open mouthed smile.

 

Before I sent the Korea trip msg, the last time we saw each other was at HS Prom Nite a month back where he found out I came for the event; things were rather awkward there. After returning from the stage(he was elected as prom king and discovered me while he was on stage), he sat at the same table as me(opposite me but back turned) and after I had to leave the ballroom cos it was closed, he walked in my exit direction(towards me), we had brief eye contact but did not acknowledge each other(like ignoring cos too awkward for me to do so).

 

Was sending the msg wishing him a safe trip to Korea a horrible move(prolly cos I made it obvious that I found out he was going there on Twitter)? Why he did not reply this time? Is it over between us?

No relationship - friendly, familial, romantic, etc. - will do well without good communication. These sound like things you need to talk out with him, not with us. We can't read his mind. If you want to get any kind of relationship with him, you really need to start communicating with him instead of just following him around and trying to read into two second interactions. ;3

[Lady_Lunevis]

any advice on resume building / applying for first jobs?? my mom has recently been pushing me to get a job since i passed my 15 birthday just a little under a month ago, so now i have to go do Adult Things oh no

i'm just really nervous bc omg work is a thing and it sounds frightening and i have possibly the most underachieved resume of all time

[Omega Entity]

As a teenager, no one expects you to have a resume at all, let alone a good one Resumes aren't that hard, if you don't let the idea of them freak you out. There are a ton of templates that you can take a look at with a simple google search that will help you immensely with format. This link here will take you to a great example : http://www.livecareer.com/resume-templates...-emphasis-1.png

 

Make sure to use proper capitalization, spelling, and punctuation. Be concise and straightforward, and it's alright to use language that makes your skills sound more impressive than what they are. For instance, if you spend a lot of time talking to people, in real life or online, you might put something like "Skilled in interpersonal communication" for a skill. If you work well with other people, you can also list "Team player" on there. If you're good with operating computers, be specific. "Proficient in Windows-based computer systems". If you're proficient at other programs that might be useful, list those as well. "Eager to learn new skills", "Takes direction well", and "Fast learner" are useful phrases too. If you're artistic, add "Creative". Pretty much take any good quality about you that might have that might apply in any way, and make it sound fancy.

 

You'll still need to fill out apps even if you do have a resume, as most employers rely on those first and foremost because it gives them the basic info they want to see - age and availability being a big one. Having a resume attached, however, will allow you to expound on your positive qualities, and hopefully get you through the screening process and at least to the interview stage. Also be prepared to have a work permit issued by your school, as in many states one's required if you're in school and under a certain age.

 

I'll be honest here - most jobs suck as a teenager. You'll likely do the fast food thing at least once (it seems like it's practically a prereq as a teen), but don't worry - every job you have has the potential to make your resume better.

 

Just don't change jobs like underwear - there is such a thing as -too- many jobs on a resume, especially if they're brief periods of employment, and including those can make a good resume look like crap. Stick with things as long as you can, and if you do have some short stints down the line, leave those off unless not including them will leave large gaps of unemployment. But I'm getting way ahead of myself on this one.

 

If you have any other questions, hit me up!

[Lady_Lunevis]

As a teenager, no one expects you to have a resume at all, let alone a good one    Resumes aren't that hard, if you don't let the idea of them freak you out. There are a ton of templates that you can take a look at with a simple google search that will help you immensely with format. This link here will take you to a great example : http://www.livecareer.com/resume-templates...-emphasis-1.png

 

Make sure to use proper capitalization, spelling, and punctuation. Be concise and straightforward, and it's alright to use language that makes your skills sound more impressive than what they are. For instance, if you spend a lot of time talking to people, in real life or online, you might put something like "Skilled in interpersonal communication" for a skill. If you work well with other people, you can also list "Team player" on there. If you're good with operating computers, be specific. "Proficient in Windows-based computer systems". If you're proficient at other programs that might be useful, list those as well. "Eager to learn new skills", "Takes direction well", and "Fast learner" are useful phrases too. If you're artistic, add "Creative". Pretty much take any good quality about you that might have that might apply in any way, and make it sound fancy.

 

You'll still need to fill out apps even if you do have a resume, as most employers rely on those first and foremost because it gives them the basic info they want to see - age and availability being a big one.  Having a resume attached, however, will allow you to expound on your positive qualities, and hopefully get you through the screening process and at least to the interview stage. Also be prepared to have a work permit issued by your school, as in many states one's required if you're in school and under a certain age.

 

I'll be honest here - most jobs suck as a teenager. You'll likely do the fast food thing at least once (it seems like it's practically a prereq as a teen), but don't worry - every job you have has the potential to make your resume better.

 

Just don't change jobs like underwear - there is such a thing as -too- many jobs on a resume, especially if they're brief periods of employment, and including those can make a good resume look like crap. Stick with things as long as you can, and if you do have some short stints down the line, leave those off unless not including them will leave large gaps of unemployment. But I'm getting way ahead of myself on this one.

 

If you have any other questions, hit me up!

oh my gosh, thank you so much!!! this helped so much whaa i'm so thankful thank you <333

i just have a few extra questions; how exactly do you write a professional summary?? OO: like, do you use "i'm a good team player who can communicate effectively" or something else?? i'm sorry omg i'm really confused

also wait what are apps?

hhh luckily i'm in canada and as far as i know i'm pretty sure we don't need work permits??? as long as employment doesn't go above the limit with hours worked each week i don't think one is required to work eyy

ahh okay sounds good!!! thank you so much omg <33

Edited April 6, 2015 by Lady_Lunevis

[Omega Entity]

oh my gosh, thank you so much!!! this helped so much whaa i'm so thankful thank you <333

i just have a few extra questions; how exactly do you write a professional summary?? OO: like, do you use "i'm a good team player who can communicate effectively" or something else?? i'm sorry omg i'm really confused

also wait what are apps?

hhh luckily i'm in canada and as far as i know i'm pretty sure we don't need work permits??? as long as employment doesn't go above the limit with hours worked each week i don't think one is required to work eyy

ahh okay sounds good!!! thank you so much omg <33

That's pretty much what you do for a professional summary, yeah. Just talk yourself up.

 

Apps = applications. Maybe it's a bit different in Canada, but that's how it usually is in the States.

[Lady_Lunevis]

That's pretty much what you do for a professional summary, yeah. Just talk yourself up.

 

Apps = applications. Maybe it's a bit different in Canada, but that's how it usually is in the States.

ahhh thank you so much!! <33 i've put together what i think seems alright ; v ;

 

ohh okay now that makes more sense : ' ^ ) thanks a lot!! i'll see how this goes <33

 

one last thing--im so sorry omg how do i go about the actual job applying?? i'm planning to do it mostly online so would i just send my resume to a bunch of places and wait or send it to one and see how that turns out?

[Omega Entity]

You'd be surprised how many entry-level jobs don't bother looking at online applications, at least here in the US. Where I work, pretty much no one looks at the online apps, except for maybe area managers looking to hire store managers and ASMs. Your best bet is to go in-person and get applications from the places you want to apply to. All you do is go in and ask if they're hiring, and request an app if they are. It's bad form to stand at the counter and fill the app out right there - I had a manager that would automatically throw out the app of someone who'd take up our very-limited counter space to fill out an app, especially when we were trying to help customers. Go out, do your gathering of apps, fill them out at home, and bring them back with your resume attached to the front with a paperclip. Again, I'm in the states, so maybe Canada's more with it with online applications. Just because you fill out a paper one, doesn't mean you can't also fill out one for the same place online, just to be on the safe side.

 

When you go in to get your app, dress like you're going for an interview. When you drop off your app, dress like you're going for an interview. That way, you're prepared if they decide to conduct one on the spot. Business casual is a safe way to go - google that, and the images show you exactly what to wear. Also avoid heavy makeup, and many employers are picky about unnatural colors of hair as well, so be forewarned.