Description comments

[Kakaru_of_DOOM]

...What? I'm always losing dragons on my scroll. It's especially bad when I'm looking for a particular dragon because I can't remember how to spell the dragon's name, so I can't Ctrl+F effectively. I think I have a two-headed dragon somewhere on my scroll who started a debate club, but I can't remember the names nor what variety, so I don't even have much of a lead.

 

Anyways.

 

tirmr banana originally came from a pretty how town and does not believe in capital letters nor punctuation. Some of his acquaintances go out of their ways to correct his formatting, and of course Yuck G and ALL the Gs tend to deface his writing by destroying or stealing the Gs, respectively. The Madder Jungle Neotropicals got together and officially voted him "the Second-Most Illegible Author in the Madder Jungle", with Zinso the (illiterate) morphodrake running a close second. Phony Banana suggested they hold a vote for "the MOST Illegible Author in the Madder Jungle", but nobody wants to organise it, so it has not come about yet. Early polling suggests tirmr is in the running for that title, too. The only dragon he seems to get along with well is the two-headed cummings and Goings, and only the former head at that.

Reject: What does "a pretty how town" mean?

Abstain: how town? 

Abstain: Pretty how town? What is a how town?

Accept: 

Abstain: What is a pretty how town?

Accept: 

Accept: is "pretty how town" a typo?

 

I am not generally fond of e e cummings, but "anyone lived in a pretty how town" is a fun poem and it's not like Anyone is the only inhabitant there. 

[Lagie]

Just now, Kakaru_of_DOOM said:

...What? I'm always losing dragons on my scroll. It's especially bad when I'm looking for a particular dragon because I can't remember how to spell the dragon's name, so I can't Ctrl+F effectively. I think I have a two-headed dragon somewhere on my scroll who started a debate club, but I can't remember the names nor what variety, so I don't even have much of a lead.

 

Anyways.

 

 

 

Reject: What does "a pretty how town" mean?

Abstain: how town? 

Abstain: Pretty how town? What is a how town?

Accept: 

Abstain: What is a pretty how town?

Accept: 

Accept: is "pretty how town" a typo?

 

I am not generally fond of e e cummings, but "anyone lived in a pretty how town" is a fun poem and it's not like Anyone is the only inhabitant there. 

No worries; I found it amusing is why I shared it!

 

And oh, now I get it! Didn't know that poem. Thank you for sharing it!

[Kakaru_of_DOOM]

Ash and Ye Shall Receive is well-respected in Lloyprij, where the town mayor has officially hired her as a civil servant. She wanders around town, and those who have things they want to get rid of pile those things on her back. Many of these things are still useable, or are repairable but it's not worth it for their current owner. If someone asks Ash for something she happens to have - whole or in parts from multiple sources - she will happily bring it out. Ash collects the detritus in two of the large craters that are remnants of some long-forgotten magical war or other, one for things she thinks can be re-used, and the other for things that won't. She never goes into the second crater herself, because - so she's claimed - things that fall in sometimes vanish "between one second and the next". Those with an affinity for chronomancy either disbelieve her or are very disturbed about the nature of the crater.

Accept: Original and interesting. Well done.
Accept:
Accept: If this was the summary of a book, I'd want to read it! Very nice story.
Accept:
Accept:
Accept: Great! I really like- BeautifulWanderer (JEMMJ)! Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me! - *Puts it back on Ash* -BeautifulWanderer

...The 'No' Is supposed to be coming from Scarlet_Claw, who does not have an avatar and is therefore undrawable. Anyways, from my understanding, this is what's going on here. Ash doesn't mind if someone wants something she's been given, but I can understand having a dragon who likes to hoard can be a bit of a handful.

[Dirtytabs]

For a sec there I thought you had somehow gotten a hold of one of my ashes.

I've been too lazy to draw them, but a lot of my descriptions have been getting lovely comments (including typo fixes and stuff). I really appreciate them!

[Rally Vincent]

Haven't written a description for a long time.

 

Adult Zombie:

 

Quote

"Ain't she pretty, ain't she sweet, she will sweep you off your feet." That's what they say about her, and it is absolutely true. Wherever she goes, the heads turn, all eyes on her, people petrify and daren't move, not to disturb the moment engraved in their memories up to their death, knowing they are not worth of her attention.
Yes, this dragon is breathtaking, mind blowing, she is stunning, she is the most beautiful creature that wanders the surface. Her face is - oh, how to describe it: The skin so soft it almost seems too fragile to even look at, the deepness in her eyes, her lips open like the darkest promise of things one never experienced, but all that pales in comparison to her physique. Having lost a couple of pounds, there is not fat - all there is to see are muscles, she displays them openly (vanity is her only sin).
She has a body to die for. Everyone wants to be like her, and they can. She will show them, how.

 

• Accept:
• Accept: *is rendered speechless*1000/10

 

 

Edited November 1, 2019 by Rally Vincent

[Kakaru_of_DOOM]

As an aside, I appreciate all the comments my descriptions get. It's nice to hear when someone has read what I've written and appreciates it. There are a few comments I've gotten recently that I'd like to respond to.
 

Quote

Lurking with Aether lives in a crystal cave.

Once it was home to a spitfire whom he slew;
Now it is strewn with bones. No traveller would brave
Venturing through the place, its grue-
some decor can clearly be seen from through
Glass walls.
On nights when both moons are new
Travellers may find their grave:
The cavern fades out of view
The entrances turn into hu-
ge pitfalls.

Accept:
Abstain: Why is huge broken up?
Accept:
Accept:
Accept:

The short answer is: rhyme. I've limited this description to three line-end rhymes, "oo", "æv", and "als". If I didn't split "huge", the line would end "ooj" and not "oo" and therefore be a slant rhyme. This is the result of me being too lazy to rhyme properly imitating Lewis Carroll! ((I tried to find the text of that poem of his that goes "twop- / enny worth of beau- / tiful sou- / p" but all I found was the Mock Turtle's song, which while similar does not have that formatting.))

As an aside, I appreciate all the comments my descriptions get. It's nice to hear when someone has read what I've written and appreciates it. There are a few comments I've gotten recently that I'd like to respond to.

 

mGyRe originally came from a place where the food was made from maize, beans, beef, cheese, and tomatillos. When financial times grew hard, she and PyRe8 decided to close their struggling restaurant move far away to where her cuisine was exotic - and ended up on the outskirts of Nworset City. There she was hired by Inexplicability as a chef at The Hole, and her cooking immediately became a staple. It has been a good move; she makes a lot more than she did in her old country. She has been experimenting with adding local ingredients. For example, cattle are not readily available, so she has had to use aurochs meat; and the temperate spices are completely different. The challenges have been good for her and yielded tasty results. She has even developed a signature dish which she has named after the tavern she cooks at - The Hole Enchilada.

Accept:
Reject: I don't think dragons have restaurants? Definitely no Enchiladas in Galsreim.
Accept:
Accept:
Accept:
Accept:
Accept: Suggestion: ... cattle are not always readily available ...
Accept:
Accept:
Accept:
Accept:

 

I've had this comment for a while, and it's been bugging me: no enchiladas in Galsreim?! What's a dragon from Not-mezoamerica-honest to eat?

Edited December 3, 2019 by Kakaru_of_DOOM
Post glitched

[Lagie]

@Kakaru_of_DOOM, thanks for explaining that.

 

My dragons eat brownies, drink coffee, and enjoy many other human foods. Why shouldn't they also enjoy enchiladas?

[Dirtytabs]

Quote

Accept: Most folks don't care about how to dance (Save Any Sacrifice), so please don't make us learn either. But good from there on out!

Accept: Is that dance better or worse than (hDDRg)'s kind of "dance"? - KoD

 

 

If only hDDRg could work the Macarena into her revolutionary scrollmatching game. Then she'll show the commenter above who cares about learning to dance!

 

 

OK, I also love this comment

Quote

Hairfree is free of hair, not that she's ever had any in the first place. She is thankful that she isn't beset by hair and worries about it daily, unaware that other beings would find that obsessive and strange because she doesn't interact with anyone. She lives in solitude because she believes that if anyone were to find her and meet up with her, they would place a hairy curse on her.

 

Accept:  h a i r

 

Edited December 20, 2019 by Dirtytabs

[Kakaru_of_DOOM]

Don't worry, Tabs. All those shards you've donated to research are being put to good use.

 

0mgCU works as a plumber in Nworset. He loves copper piping, so when clients ask for it specifically, he often ecstatically says, "Oh my GoN, copper!" He begrudgingly works with ceramic pipes and refuses to use lead. He has a terrible sense of time. Often, when hanging out with a friend or browsing through a bookstore, he suddenly checks his pocket chronomagical timepiece and blurts out, "Oh my GoN, I'm late!" then apologises profusely and sprints off to whatever appointment he is about to miss. One time he was in the Madder Jungle on vacation visiting with an avatar of change when he realised he had to get back to the Dorsal Inn to check out of his room and catch the five o' clock teleportation session home. The avatar, annoyed by 0mgCU's sudden departure, transformed him into a rabbit. An immature human started following him as he hopped as fast as he could, repeating, "I'm late! I'm late!"

Accept: So that's the rabbit Alice followed!

Accept: 

Accept: lol. this description is amazing. 100000/10

 

I'm really amused by whoever it is doing those ratings out of ten. Before this, the best I got was a 100/10 on one of my poetry dragons.

 

 

[Lagie]

On a "mint" dragon (who's actually a winter magi  ) - 

 

"I'm the perfect Christmas treat," says m1nts. "I'm peppermint-flavoured, and I look like candy. And yes, I'm m1nts!" He sounds like he's bragging but it's true. He's m1nts through and through, and he loves using his minty personality to bring Christmas cheer to dragons far and near. The rest of the year, m1nts hangs out with Lagie's mint dragons, because he's one of them, of course.

 

• Accept: That is a majorly winner code. Congrats. - KoD
• Abstain: What is a minty personality?
• Accept: I recognize this dragon! Nicely done. -MC
• Accept: Rad

[Kakaru_of_DOOM]

Quote

IiFil thinks that it is the flaw that creates the masterpiece and the little imperfection that creates perfection. He is an art critic, obsessing over canvasses and sculptures that artists present to him and dances and songs performed for his judgment. He has studied art theory at Seven Questions University (the topic was classified as "Impractical" there) and considers his horns, with a little dull band in them laid down during his late adolescence, his own personal masterpieces. What he was up to during the time that dull spot on his horns grew, he refuses to talk about. When not critiquing, he is working on an architectural masterpiece that is quite large despite being unfinished. He has refused to give it a name until it is done, so locals have unofficially named it after him: The IiFil Tower.

Accept: Great description, excellent joke

 

Yay! Someone got it! I was afraid the font would make it too hard to see, but maybe that's only a problem with the font used with the portal skins.

 

Quote

Spontan wants to be the undisputed best at something, but what that something is, he has yet to decide on. He doesn't want to be the best at indecisiveness, as eeeny the Madder Jungle neotropical is already an expert far more experienced in indecisiveness than he is. His parents have been encouraging him to go to Seven Questions University and take a few classes, but he doesn't want to be the best student in the world either. He hasn't been listening to their explanation for why they want him to go, though: perhaps, if he took a few classes in Oddly Specific matters, he might find something so obscure that he could quickly attain the unparalleled mastery he dreams of.

Accept: Should eeeny have a capital?

 

No, eeeny does not have a capital in her name. Well, she can't decide if she wants one or not. She can't decide if she likes going by that name in the first place, either.

 

Quote

RAGxb looks a lot older than she is because she is always wearing this fancy white silk lace shawl that she got at the Nworset art museum over her antlers. The shawl, intended for a much smaller dragon than she, looks like spider-webs that, were they real, would have taken decades to form. She runs the front counter of Nworset's history museum so her antique look fits right in with the surroundings. She is studying ancient language and likes to use archaic words. The only modern thing she is interested in is fashion. She sometimes goes pranking.

I deleted Lagie's comment to remove 'downtown' from the end of the last sentence, but it was something along the lines of "Reject: She does makeup downtown?"

When I looked 'pranking' up as a reference, the the dictionary I looked at said:

Definition of prank (Entry 3 of 3)

intransitive verb

: to show oneself off

transitive verb

: to dress or adorn gaily or showily

I revised RAG's description to remove the specific location, but given Merriam-Webster's definition it would seem downtown would be a reasonable location for pranking. Doing one's makeup sounds more like preparing to prank? Or do I need to find another dictionary?

Edited January 1, 2020 by Kakaru_of_DOOM
Formatting glitches!!!

[Lagie]

9 minutes ago, Kakaru_of_DOOM said:

Accept: Great description, excellent joke

 

Yay! Someone got it! I was afraid the font would make it too hard to see, but maybe that's only a problem with the font used with the portal skins.

 

Accept: Should eeeny have a capital?

 

No, eeeny does not have a capital in her name. Well, she can't decide if she wants one or not. She can't decide if she likes going by that name in the first place, either.

 

I deleted Lagie's comment to remove 'downtown' from the end of the last sentence, but it was something along the lines of "Reject: She does makeup downtown?"

When I looked 'pranking' up as a reference, the the dictionary I looked at said:

 

 

I revised RAG's description to remove the specific location, but given Merriam-Webster's definition it would seem downtown would be a reasonable location for pranking. Doing one's makeup sounds more like preparing to prank? Or do I need to find another dictionary?

The Eiffel Tower made me laugh, too, but I didn't comment that.

 

Ah, now I get it with eeny!

 

Me? I think I only questioned pranking, not the downtown part? (It's one of those niggly words that make me twitch even when used correctly.)

[missy_]

tirmr banana originally came from a pretty how town and does not believe in capital letters nor punctuation. Some of his acquaintances go out of their ways to correct his formatting, and of course Yuck G and ALL the Gs tend to deface his writing by destroying or stealing the Gs, respectively. The Madder Jungle Neotropicals got together and officially voted him "the Second-Most Illegible Author in the Madder Jungle", with Zinso the (illiterate) morphodrake running a close second. Phony Banana suggested they hold a vote for "the MOST Illegible Author in the Madder Jungle", but nobody wants to organise it, so it has not come about yet. Early polling suggests tirmr is in the running for that title, too. The only dragon he seems to get along with well is the two-headed cummings and Goings, and only the former head at that.

 

I love this dragon's description and would approve it as is. I love it. 

 

e.e. cummings fan here, and it is so well done!

 

https://dragcave.net/view/tirmr

[Kakaru_of_DOOM]

((I'm glad you enjoyed tirmr banana, missy_. It's always fun to write Madder Jungle bananas.))

Quote

oROaD are a travelling performer. They go by a single name because they believe it helps them be memorable, but those trying to talk to one or the other head specifically get frustrated. The left head likes to sing, though he is not as good as his bodymate at coming up with lyrics. The right head likes to dance, but relies on his bodymate for choreography. Their song-and-dance is merely their opening act, which they use to gather a crowd before they move on to feats of strength (heavily supplemented with telekinesis, but they don't advertise that part). That part of the show, they often lift several elephants and fly with them. Sometimes, however, they get carried away with the singing and dancing. One time, a nobleman who had heard of their great strength got so impatient that he started to suspect the gemina was bluffing about his prowess. Everyone remembers when the nobleman gestured at the elephants and interrupted the performance, shouting, "Let's get this show on the oROaD!"

Abstain: ok

Accept: Is the o before ROaD suppose to be there?

 

The 'o' is part of his code, so yeah, it's intentional. It does look a little weird, I admit. I hope it doesn't interfere with the pun too much? I was debating taking it out for the second occurrence, but I did get a complaint on another dragon for abbreviating his name (couldn't fix that one because of the character limit).

 

Quote

Argent Stanzas hates when he's alone
But often finds himself without a friend.
He always struggles through the monotone
Of those who do not sing. He can't pretend
He tolerates a noteless speaker's moan.
.
Prosaic language makes this dragon sad.
He writhes and pulls his gorgeous turquoise mane
Or coils up and sobs aloud, "Egad!
The art of posey-making seems so plain
Yet, others fear it. Fie, I must be mad!"
.
The Verseweavers, perhaps, could be his peers
But that small clan of bards is dying out
As Argent Stanzas knows; and thus, he fears
That poetry itself is in a drought.
He cannot save it, so, he disappears.

 

Accept: Don't worry, poetry will survive. F.R. Scott said so.

 

I appreciate the thought. I wrote this description because I've essentially given up on trying to get the Verseweavers lineage off the ground - there aren't enough potential poets who dig around in the breeding subforum, and I'm too shy to advertise the project effectively. I guess this is sort of my last-ditch effort to draw attention to the lineage, since the thread is technically still open. Is anyone out there interested in versifying? 

Edited March 22, 2020 by Kakaru_of_DOOM
Post glitched

[subwoofer]

Quote

Chicken Friend Rice is a fairly typical dragon for her breed. She is usually reserved, living in a town with other dragons but usually staying to herself. As such, she knows a lot about the area's residents, and she decided that she knew enough that she would apply to join the town's council.
Unfortunately, the supervisor misread her name as "Chicken Fried Rice", causing her application to be discarded immediately. The supervisor was not going to give the time of day to someone who would pull a foolish prank like pretending to be a dish.
Upset about her rejection, she applied to be a writer for the local newspaper. Another misreading of her name occurred, but this time, it was actually what got her an interview, and eventually resulted in her now being the main writer of the Hallowed Times. She now spends her days happily documenting Raizoh's stickwaterball team (the Maridian Skultera), writing about any of the latest gossip, and taking light jabs at the town council.

Accept: *rejects this description immediately*

 

I'm thankful to whoever left that. It's a small thing but it had me giggling for a while.

[Lagie]

On https://dragcave.net/view/ZhP8p

Daily Briefings was born during that time worldwide when all the humans in all the caves had to spend a protracted amount of time at home alone in order to prevent the spread of a highly infectious virus. Briefings was supposed to be the highly-informative, up-to-date disseminator of important information regarding the progress of the virus and the efforts to keep it in check. Briefings, however, used the time to boast about himself, and to give lots of inaccurate unproven medical advice, advice that turned out to be downright deadly when some hapless humans followed it. Fewer and fewer dragons showed up for the updates as time passed but Briefings never let that bother him, he was so busy pontificating that he barely even noticed their absence. Among a sea of script dragons that look a lot alike, Briefings can be easily identified by the unusual but very distinct orange hue of his scales.

 

• Accept:
• Accept:
• Accept:
• Accept:
• Accept:
• Accept:
• Accept: That is absolutely hilarious, thank you for making my day.

You're most welcome!

[HeatherMarie]

Omg I'm laughing so much, @Lagie! That's totally brilliant. 

[pinkgothic]

On Valcen-sha:

Quote

Valcen-sha is a mental and physical copy that the dragon Valcen has made of himself. The suffix in Valcen-sha's name corresponds to being numbered 'second' according to the conventions of their mother tongue; correspondingly, the original Valcen is occasionally referred to as Valcen-za ('Valcen the First') by those who wish to differentiate the two.

As Valcen-sha is younger than the original Valcen, these two incarnations of the same mind follow the convention that, should they ever disagree, Valcen-sha's opinion takes precedence; after all, his mind is presumably still clearer than that of his progenitor.

• Accept: Wish I could approve more than once

Whoever you are, thank you so much, finding this comment made my day. ❤️

[Dirtytabs]

On 5/5/2020 at 7:41 AM, subwoofer said:

Accept: *rejects this description immediately*

 

I'm thankful to whoever left that. It's a small thing but it had me giggling for a while.

I couldn't help myself.  

 

Quote

Due to her magical affinity and natural toughness, Nontroversy has the potential to be a great practitioner of light magic and a skilled defender, if only she weren't beset with problems such as her wings not being steely-smooth enough, the author she likes publishing a plotline she didn't like, and how to cut a pie into six equal slices. Little things like those are big to her and eat up a lot of time. Sometimes becoming good at something through hard work crosses her mind, but it quickly passes once she determines that's not important. She was delighted when she discovered at a young age that shouting often and loudly will get her attention, and she can win arguments with volume.

 

Accept: I thought pies were supposed to be cut into seven equal slices? - KoD

Don't you start!!

 

Quote

Accept: "sunclipse"? Is that a typo, or a term I am unfamiliar with? - KoD

It's (apparently) Buckminster Fullerian vocabulary, to overturn geocentric bias at odds with celestial mechanics as we know today

Sunsight is sunrise

Sunclipse is sunset

I like those words.  

 

This does raise questions about whether the astronomers of this setting know that Valkemare goes around the sun, whether there's germ theory (even as an unproven conjecture), how far along people are in mathematics...

[Hora]

On 6/3/2020 at 11:23 PM, pinkgothic said:

On Valcen-sha:

• Accept: Wish I could approve more than once

Whoever you are, thank you so much, finding this comment made my day. ❤️

That's me! I remember reading it and wow, was I blown away! It's such a good concept and it's explained so well! Can't wait to read more from you!

 

 

May I bring to your attention something that's been bugging me? I want to make sure this thing isn't going to have every description I make be rejected since it has happened just now ;; If this is not the appropriate topic, I'll promptly move this elsewhere when I'll wake up tomorrow.

 

Here is the case in point, this description got rejected: 

 

Falconwing is one of the dragons to have mastered flight in their early days as a hatchling, way before learning to harness her flames. Her species is known for being quite aggressive and territorial so sharing the lair with many different dragons is proving to be rather stressful for her. Thankfully she can release the pent up frustration in many ways: firstly, she is a great hunter and, although her style is rather brutal, it helps soothe her need to fight. She can be found sparring with the Hellfire Wyvern female (Hellfyre Herald) quite often, it seems the latter sees her as one of her own and fights her for the alpha status but Falconwing takes it as an opportunity to have fun and train. When she gets extremely restless, the caretaker sends her to other caves and settlements to retrieve supplies that cannot be found in the wild.

(On the back of the scroll, you can see a sketch of the dragon, strapped with satchels and ready to take flight).

 

• Reject: Write in third person, not the second person used for eggs/hatchies. Change or omit the last line
• Moderator Reject: See user comments.
• Accept:
• Accept:
• Accept:

 

I know the site encourages the use of the 3rd person pov for descriptions and discourages the 1st person one, but it said nothing anywhere about 2nd person pov. I thought it'd be a cool thing to implement so as to make descriptions more interactive/immersive for users reading them.

 

I'd also like to point out that this is my first user reject comment ever (all the other dragons have very positive user reviews) still this was almost immediately taken down. :/

 

I'd like to know whether this is something I can work with without removing it from my descriptions completely or if I should just give up and abandon this idea.

 

-----

 

TL;DR

Can I use 2nd person pov in my descriptions? Asking because after several positive user reviews on many descriptions, the first negative comment got one review rejected in the span of hours.

 

 

Sorry for the wall of text, have a nice day everyone! ^^

[Dirtytabs]

I regard 2nd person as less immersive and more telling readers what they're doing. They're just reading about the described creature, nothing more.

[Kaini]

21 hours ago, Dirtytabs said:

I regard 2nd person as less immersive and more telling readers what they're doing. They're just reading about the described creature, nothing more.

 

I will reject 2nd person like that, yeah. It doesn't fit when the player is reading a description of the dragon - it wouldn't tell them what they're doing.

[Hora]

@Dirtytabs & @Kaini thank you for taking the time to reply! All descriptions have been successfully removed.

[Paintra]

On Usia'pai:

 

...What?

[Lagie]

6 hours ago, Paintra said:

On Usia'pai:

 

...What?

Maybe they don't understand zombies?