Description comments

[Azure]

Accept: tl;dr (j/k, very nice)

 

I dunno what that is supposed to mean....

 

Not my comment, but it reads, translated from lazy Internet lingo to English:

 

"Too long, didn't read! Haha, I'm joking, it's very nice."

 

Accept: "Awoken to"... I suppose it could fly instead of "awoken by". Story flows much better now. Thank you for heeding my advice!

 

Thanks for giving it

 

You're welcome. I'd still go with "by" instead of "to".

 

Did I mention you're quite solid at descriptions?

[Pink]

I spent most of today describing vampires.

I only have a comment on one of them though.

:\

 

The Vampire Handbook: Book 2, page 6,304.

"Mind Control used on Lesser beings"

"Mind control is a power used by vampires to exert their will over other dragons and..." The rest of the page is empty, but with the taunting message written across it in large script "Ha! You thought there would actually be something about mind control here. Wrong! Go try to weasel out vampire secrets from someone else".

Contribution (and omission) by Totalitarian:

Totalitarian is a recklessly mean, backbiting vampire. He was asked for a contribution, but instead decided that it was a perfect opportunity for a prank. He is currently mated to Wrench, who despite not being the brightest bean in the box, is perfect for him, being as he is easy to control and mock without taking offense.

 

# Accept: definitely (with an I, not an A) keep the brightest bean in the box thing, that is quite hilarious

 

This dragon (Whose name is too long to type) not known for being particularly remarkable, but whose main activity aside from eating and sleeping is greeting guests.

He simply relates a greeting, states his lineage, that of the illustrious and most noble Dorkface, and leaves to find the next guest. He started adding "frozen" in there shortly after he was magicked by another dragon, who used a spell to keep him in his juvenile stage forever. It is believed that he added this "frozen" bit as a protest of his lack of say in the matter.

 

# Accept: What's up with "Dorkface"? Very good, though!

 

 

OMG, a person who doesn't know what Dorkfaces are.

Hullo there person! You're a novelty. *glomps*

 

All-right and All-left are an exceptionally well matched pair of dragons.

Although she was born without a left arm or leg, her and her mate, All-Left, manage to walk and hunt (with minimal stumbling) by using their excellent teamwork abilities. They simply lean on each other and each use their own two legs to move each other and themselves.

None of the other dragons are sure exactly how they manage to move in such synchronization, but there have been whispers (mainly perpetrated by the more para... uh... aware dragons) that it may be a kind of mind control practiced by the caretaker. For themselves, All-Right and All-Left simply claim that they are very in tune with each other.

 

# Abstain: Remove the phrase in parentheses.

 

Why?

Does anyone else here see a problem with my parentheses?

I know they're unnecessary, but I'm not exactly going for the Pulitzer prize in dragon fiction right now, to a point where I am forced to follow strict grammatical process, am I?

 

Zalline, one of the oldest hatchlings in her cave, is unusually good at starting trouble. Her and her two bodyguards (Zornin and Zorthin) have singlehandedly persuaded the other regular black hatchlings (There are 49 of them) to participate in no less than 5 'riots' -- Where they all went up to the pebble dragons and began hopping all over them. It was chaos. -- and 27 attempts at starting a war with the other resident hatchlings (mainly mints). The latter of these has been consistently foiled by the pebbles, which aside being the only other force of that magnitude in the cave, feel it is the best way to get revenge. None of this is going to make her any less inclined towards making trouble, but it certainly keeps things interesting.

 

# Accept: Some one needs to go to the naughty corner!

 

You commenter are hilarious.

 

Once this hatchling used to be called "Steve". Unfortunately for Steve, zombies don't care for human-imposed labels. They stole his brain and used it for unknown purposes. He is now left to sit here wishing for a brain for the rest of eternity.

Well, that's what all of the other residents of the cave figure he's doing anyways, being as he just sits here all day staring into space. It's widely wondered how one would wish without a brain, however.

 

* Accept:

* Accept: Alas, poor Steve!

* Accept:

* Accept: lol his name could be scarecrow too

 

Poor Steve indeed.

It's appalling how so many people can find themselves so callous as to laugh at his misfortune. /Jk. He is pretty funny.

 

 

Edited March 4, 2011 by Pink

[Dr. Paine]

For... my chicken that has a name I honestly cannot remember.

 

Her full name is actually 'NinjaZombiePirateRobotSpyLaserVampireDragonSpaceChicken', but most people just call her 'that insane chicken'. Or Tim.

Convinced that she is all of the things listed in her name, you can bet this little chicken has her wings full in activities, and for many years, kept up with every name. Some days she trained with the other Ninja Chickens to fight the Space Chickens, some days she attended an Undead Beings support group (every other member was either a Vampire or Zombie dragon), some days she even worked with local Space Chickens in order to combat the dread Ninja Chickens. But after the uncontrollable molting, as well as a host of other health problems caused by stress, Tim now spends her time only with the Ninja Chickens, using information she gathered while working with the Space Chickens to aid their cause. And she might still slip into a meeting of Undead Beings.

(She is a member of the Ninja Chickens- one of the first five, indeed )

 

* Accept: AWESOME

* Accept: Best. Description. EVER.

 

Thank you, commenters! ... -goes to check the other dozen or so pending descriptions -

[terradi]

Not one that I approved, but one that already been approved. (Not mine, I wish I was this creative!)

 

I HOPE IT'S NOT GENETIC, or as the others have taken to calling her, Genetic, was born to a very unfortunate Deepsea and a distraught Sunrise. Early on in her life, Genetic's mother was revealed to have THE DUMB, a dangerous, potentially lethal disease. Her father immediately yelled for HAZMAT, but it was all for naught. So, Genetic was sent away, left to ponder if she too would catch THE DUMB like her mother.

 

Genetic hopes THE DUMB isn't genetic.

 

Check out the lineage:

http://dragcave.net/lineage/bWDC

even better, their offspring:

http://dragcave.net/lineage/UpCf

 

 

Same ancestors:

http://dragcave.net/lineage/Lk07

Tragedy has followed this poor vampire's family for generations. It all started when her grandmother contracted THE DUMB, a terrible and frightening illness which persists even now despite her mate's best efforts to call HAZMAT. Their daughter, seemingly having avoided the dreadful disease, was thankful that at least THE DUMB wasn't Twilight, and the poor old Deep Sea would be spared such painful news. But luck was not on her side - with the birth of her first child, she realized she had been sorely mistaken.

 

She, too, had THE DUMB - and it was totally Twilight.

Edited March 4, 2011 by terradi

[Azure]

Kayla the Forest Magus, mate of Dalryn the Radiant Prince, is often called the voice of nature. Hers is the power of communion - she is able to speak to animals and even plants, or be a conduit for woodland spirits. She can see into the intricate web of life and how it connects all the creatures near her, and is thus an invaluable aid to her mate in seeking out the undead, who do not belong in the lands of the living and whose unnatural souls are a blemish upon nature. Very few know she is a dragon, however, just like her mate, for she is often in the guise of a hermit witch - albeit not of the warty and old sort.

* Accept: Just saw the other description. They're very nice.

* Reject: Typo mistakes and i don't think that dragons can change their form.

 

Where are the spelling/typing errors, good sir/ma'am, because you seem to be the only one who can spot them?

As for dragons changing shape, I fancy that, and with my dragons it'll remain a constant for avid magic-users.

 

But! Thank you, other commenter! <3

Edited March 4, 2011 by Azure

[Dr. Paine]

Actually, I don't think shape-changing can be involved, most dragons won't be able to use that sort of magic, if they can even use magic at all. Honestly, I'd reject that for being a little too over the top.

 

And for the record: I don't think Terraes are capable of using magic.

[Azure]

In some fantasy settings, innate magic and learned magic are separate. I tend to treat my dragons/the world they live in that way, hence why some individuals for breeds for which it isn't specified (if it is specified they absolutely cannot, then I consider them so far detached that they can't even learn it) in my lineup have them. Very few, mind you.

(An example for another very common fantasy race: Humans in general are not innately magical, yet assumingly there is such a thing as a human wizard or witch.)

 

I guess it's just a different way to look at it. I did steamline and tone down the description a little following your comment, but the shapeshifting is an integral part of the story in this case, so that'll be staying.

Edited March 4, 2011 by Azure

[Dr. Paine]

Maybe. But I doubt it'll be approved. Same if you had a Nebula or Flamingo Wyvern shapeshifter...

 

I take the opposite approach with most dragons x3 The only constant 'magic' would be telepathy, otherwise, I don't treat them as magical unless specified. Saves a lot of trouble.

[ArynChris]

    Considered by a human cult of holy sacrifice to be her mother Liraine's successor, Harmonaine's days are filled with endless pampering and training in violence.  Harmonaine, though, has seen the pain and insanity of her mother and fears that fulfilling her religious duties will doom her to the same terrible fate.  She dreams of killing off the human cult, or running away, or escaping long enough to find her army of fire-breathing siblings and beg for their protection, but she knows that she will have to struggle for years longer before she'll be strong enough to take any action at all-- if she hasn't been brainwashed by then.

    Harmonaine is an honorary member of the Dead Parents Club.

 

Accept: WOW!!! How violent and scary, but it's a good description which is all that matters.

 

Thank you.

[Pink]

Sirius Black II, mate to Hesper Gamp and first born son of Phineas Nigellus Black and Ursula Flint, makes up for every bit of his mate's demure nature. He is loud, obnoxious, rather violent. He steals candy from hatchlings, and eats kittens. Trufax.

 

    * Abstain: Lose the trufax or spell it properly, then it's a good description.

    * Accept:

 

...No. Spelled properly it would look like a self-endorsement phrase in a newspaper.

 

Arcturus Black, the first and only son of Hesper Gamp and Sirius Black II, is a mirror image of his father. He is loud, violent, and likes eating kittens, that is.

That being said, his mother has not found a suitably purebred mate for him yet, but she has her eye on a young "lady" named Melania McMillan. She is exactly the kind of mate for an honorable member of the Black family, and that's about as much introduction as most people will ever need (or want).

 

    * Accept: Very good.

 

:3

I love it when people like my descriptions.

 

I have five others from this "family", but they all just got blank accepts.

 

 

 

[.Big.Pimpin.]

My Rockin On The Paper description:

 

Rockin On The Paper was a very important breed of dragon to much of Dragon Cave. He (and yes we believe it's a he) was used in the creation of scrolls. Many of his friends were taken for their paper and flattened out which causes their endangerment today. If you watch closely, he will twitch at the sound of ripping paper. He is grateful that he got away with only a few scars. The scenes that were once real still haunt him today.

Accept: wow, i love it!

 

Thank you whoever you are. My very first description I actually tried at

[Pink]

I ran across this one today (it's one that was rejected ages ago, but I never noticed), it amused me greatly for some reason.

 

I are an rally cul dragon

Lol

 

    * Reject:

    * Reject: ffffffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllllllll

 

 

[klinneah]

For some reason this one has three blank rejects:

 

GN, or, more appropriately, Raptor Jesus, is The Best and He knows it. He is The Best at swimming, flying, breathing fire, roaring, and just generally being awesome. Most importantly, though, is that one never knows He is there until it is too late to do anything but perform a dramatic dying scream.

 

[Segamen]

Not one that I approved, but one that already been approved. (Not mine, I wish I was this creative!)

 

 

 

Check out the lineage:

http://dragcave.net/lineage/bWDC

even better, their offspring:

http://dragcave.net/lineage/UpCf

 

 

Same ancestors:

http://dragcave.net/lineage/Lk07

I LOL'D

 

===

 

Hmm... I was bored so I just randomly typed out a description for my chicken... Sorry if I had made any grammar or spelling mistakes though, I didn't think a lot about this one.

 

I wonder what kind of nonsensical comments will pop out from this description.

 

KFC Fried Chicken is a shy creature that has a low self-esteem due to being mocked by others constantly. Although she appear to have friends as she is gentle and friendly, her only friends were her fellow Pygmy dragons which she would only hang out with to talk about her unhappy life in the cave. Until now, she has tried many ways to befriend a dragon hundred times her size but all to no avail.

 

ETA: Apparently, there's only one blank Accept there... =/

Edited March 19, 2011 by Segamen

[Pink]

I Stun Myself, who is mated to I'm So Dazzling, is the most utterly perfect, spectacular, wonderful, beautiful, stupendous, intelligent, breathtaking, fantastic, fabulous, superb, marvelous, mind-blowing awesome, prodigious, miraculous, extraordinary, striking, staggering, incredible, singular, outstanding dragon ever, or he's just the most deliriously self-absorbed lunatic ever to curse the face of the the earth with his presence.

 

    * Accept: I fear the second option is the correct one

 

Alas, I also fear the reviewer's intuition is true.

 

Irma Crabbe, the most despicable tub of lard dragon imaginable, is obviously a dragon you don't want to meet. If you do by some horrible twist of fate happen to encounter her, run. Just turn around, and bolt in the other direction. Think of your life, and how much better it would be without this pure-blood obsessed, maniac monster in it.

 

    * Accept:

    * Accept:

    * Reject: no.

    * Accept:

 

No what? This doesn't make any sense. Are they agreeing with me in the sense that she must be shunned, or rejecting the description of this despicable dragon as something that must be eschewed?

I'm afraid I don't understand at all.

 

Edited March 18, 2011 by Pink

[Tiuvelin]

These are my latest descriptions still awaiting approval, and their comments actually made me consider describing regularly again after I had some rather unfriendly and hard-to-understand criticism:

 

Behold, seeker of the dragon lore, Sir Cheshire of Cheese. Although this being might technically be a neuter, he obviously fashions himself to be male and, on top of that, of noble ancestry. He grounds this conceited belief on the fact that his ancestors on the cheese side have been mentioned already in the Domesday Book and that their ancestral seat has been a renowned trade centre for cheese in the  time of the Roman Empire. On the dragon side he claims to be a descendant of the mighty dragon Beowulf slew. Of course, the descendants of this creature had to go into hiding to avoid extinction which is, as he would explain it, the reason for the unlikely alliance of dragons and cheese. Most of his fellow dragons seem rather less impressed by that than he would wish and he has more than once been humiliated by young dragons nibbling his tail - which is why he decided to learn fencing at a very young age. He seems happily unaware of his true character which is that of enchanted foodstuff.

* Accept: You made my day with this description

* Accept:

* Accept:

* Accept:

* Accept:

* Accept:

* Accept:

* Accept:

 

Behold, seeker of the Dragon lore, Fryer of Horrors of the Black Marrows. Terrifying enough to behold when they are grown up, young Black Marrows seem to somewhat lack this quality. This specimen was bought off a mysterious monger of medicines by the owner of a travelling menagerie when he was inside his egg still. Knowing the egg to be that of a dragon, the man placed it among the eggs of the ostrich which was part of his show, and waited. When the egg hatched, the hatchling killed all the ostrich eggs but still his owner did not realize how dangerous his new "pet" was, or how sapient. He named him the Fryer of Horrors (because that is what he thought he looked like) and began to train him as part of the show. Soon enough he was the crowd puller. But the dragon was merely waiting for the moment to take revenge; and finally the time was ripe. You will be spared the gruesome details of that night, dear reader - but think of this: when did you last see or hear of travelling menageries.

* Accept: Nicely written! A good story and it quite fits the Marrows. Great job~

* Accept:

* Accept:

* Accept: question mark at end

* Accept:

 

So this post is actually to say the following:

Thank you for your nice comments, whoever you are

And I'd really put in the question mark at the end if I could.

[Pink]

Those were some pretty good descriptions actually, Tiuvelin.

*steals them and runs off*

 

This one, on the other hand, is absolutely horrible.

 

so ther were lyk tis dragon lyk.. a long time ago. it ws lyk a STROM DOOM DEATH dragon and every1 feered her 1 day she decided to attck a town and she was lyk STORMS DOOM AND DEATH on you all!!! she kill'd awl the hoomans than and tehn all the drgon looked up to her. she became a big powehful leader and she waz perfuct and every1 luved her.

then she have a super powerfull mate hu luved her and worshipped the grund she wawlked on. thay did have offspring that lyk were even mor powehful than her thay had lyk STORM DOOM DEAHT AND FEER powehs.

 

Apparently I've put it here before, but it's gotten more comments since then...

I even got the gender wrong.

 

    * Abstain: Wow.

    * Abstain: Nice try, Pink. Mathcat, who read the Description Comments thread first.

    * Reject: Pft, nice name. However, the description won't fly. Use spell check, correct grammar, and correct capitalization; also, make the dragon realistic. Read the guidelines!

    * Reject: dont like. sry. too many abreviations. totally anoying. sry.

 

Someone was shocked into actually saying Wow at that. Likely if I would have reviewed this, that would have been my response as well.

 

Also:

 

This dragon is extremely judgmental. He finds fault in nearly everything and retaliates with a vengeance most others would consider much too violent.

Say, for instance, there were a vampire eating a baby mint it tore from the grasps of its mother, and the mint suddenly popped up and threw an insult at the vampire, perhaps saying, "Your a dirty, nasty, thieving, scumbag". I'm Going To Eat Your Face would begin feeling very righteous at this point, and point out "That's you're, not your" before promptly eating the face of the rescuing mother mint. That's just how he rolls.

 

    * Accept: Hahaha! thats the best name evar! and the desc is good too -

 

THAT comment made my day.

Someone actually likes my dragon names!

 

Edited March 18, 2011 by Pink

[Tiuvelin]

Thanks , Pink

 

I think I would have hoped for some kind of prank with your one when stumbling on it, though (depending on how many descriptions I would have read already on the day) I might have fallen into your cunning little trap still and politely suggested that you might want to consider getting someone to help you writing descriptions.

Edit: talking about your first one, of course.

Edited March 18, 2011 by Tiuvelin

[Fuzzbucket]

To whoever it was asked in a comment on one of my pending descriptions, if you are watching:

 

THIS is pork crackling.

 

And Viridis loves it

 

And PLEASE could people not "reject" others for using proper UK spelling. Practice vs practise is different here, OK ?

[dragongrrl]

 

And PLEASE could people not "reject" others for using proper UK spelling. Practice vs practise is different here, OK ?

While many Americans read, understand and even use some or all of the British spellings, I realise/realize there are an awful lot who just don't get it. I am an avid reader, and grew up learning English with the British spellings considered as valid as the US spellings. Somewhere along the line, that has changed, and we are all a little poorer for it.

 

Personally, I sometimes switch between spellings, depending on my mood and the colour/color I wish to convey, and I wouldn't ever reject a description with the British spellings.

[Tiuvelin]

And PLEASE could people not "reject" others for using proper UK spelling. Practice vs practise is different here, OK ?

Oh, so some people still tell you of for writing the Queen's English. Didn't have that for some time but I used to get it a lot a while ago.

 

On the other hand, I also had some very interesting comments congratulating me on my use of "old-fashioned" English (on the basis of my UK spelling). So, obviously, not everyone not that used to non-US English spelling thinks you slightly daft - some just think you a bit of a relict.

[Fuzzbucket]

Oh, so some people still tell you of for writing the Queen's English. Didn't have that for some time but I used to get it a lot a while ago.

 

On the other hand, I also had some very interesting comments congratulating me on my use of "old-fashioned" English (on the basis of my UK spelling). So, obviously, not everyone not that used to non-US English spelling thinks you slightly daft - some just think you a bit of a relict.

Ah - well, at 66, I AM a bit of a relict. Also a terminal pedant. If there were to be an official Forum Pedant - I would want that job; there cannot be anyone better qualified...

[Daydreamer09]

Very caring, As You Wish is always watching over the other dragons of her cave. She has the strange peculiarity of always answering any requests with the same three words, 'as you wish'. She has used the phrase so often, the other dragons have taken to calling her by it.

 

No one could fully understand why she would only respond with those words. Not until one day, a young black hatchling asked her what it meant. The beautiful dragon gently smiled and answered, "Every time I have responded with 'as you wish', what I was really saying was 'I love you'."

 

* Accept: Lovely <3

* Accept: Nice description! -

* Reject:

 

Thank you guys for commenting on this, whomever you may be. <3

And a little piece of me died inside at the random reject... >_>

Edited March 28, 2011 by Daydreamer09

[dragoon1234]

N-12 A'DEN dragoon is very depressed. As the caves only water walker, A'DEN wants to bear children, but he hasn't made any water walkers. He has considered leaving the cave and wandering the wilderness, but the master of the cave has branded him so he can never leave except by death. A'DEN does have a child though so he's slightly content.

 

Reject: this does not describe the dragon

 

Can someone explain to me how this isn't a description? I can understand where this person is coming from though.

[Azure]

It's not a terribly poetic description, but it's deffinitely a description. Hence, I wholely disagree with your commenter.