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You know, an interesting fact.

In fact, Stephanie Meyer's vampires are not vampires.

You see, in order for some sort of mythological creature to be one, it must have certain characteristics. For example, zombies must be reanimated corpses, and they must have a hungering for human flesh. Vampires, in turn, must burn in sunlight and have to drink blood. Thus, no matter how much Stephanie calls them vampires, they aren't.

Wrong, on both counts.

 

About vampires that is.

 

In fact, there are four traditional elements that make the vampire, and I should really just copypasta my first post of it.

 

These elements are: Feeding off of human life (and weakening the human while doing so). This can range from blood sucking, to stealing breath (Eastern vampires), psychic feeding, even just eating people. These cannibal vampires are fairly rare though.Animal blood can be a temporary substitute, but they can NOT survive without human life. Second is a weakness to sunlight: they can burn to death instantly (a modern creation, started in the '20s), they can die of prolonged exposure, or they can just have their powers weakened. Point is, sunlight causes bad things. Third, they must be a reanimated corpse. Fourth, they need to have at least... four things that'll deter/kill them, and you can't make it to where it needs to be all at once. For all their power, vampires are actually extremely easy to kill once you get to them. You need to include at least one of the traditional methods- fire, stake, holy objects (but explain why), forcing them into the coffin and planting hawthorn or rose bushes over it, garlic, running water, etc.

 

Meyer's vampires have none of these- they do not require feeding off of humans, sunlight does not physically harm them, they are all changed while still alive (they do die, but I don't count that as a reanimated corpse), and they are near impossible to kill.

Edited by Dr. Paine

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*clicks the youtube link and sees the title, hurriedly closing the page* Killitwithfirekillitwithfirekillitwithfire.

 

Also I keep going back to the explanation lateralusa posted and wanting to barricade that woman away from making comparisons to Shakespeare. The Bard does not need your **** infringing on his works, thank you very much.

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IKR?

 

She completely forced the Romeo and Juliet one, and the Wuthering Heights isn't being literary or being equal to what's considered a classic, it's just CLICHE. (Granted, I REALLY don't like WH, so I'm biased there, but still.)

 

@Paine: what's that about coffin-planting-bushes? O.o

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IKR?

 

She completely forced the Romeo and Juliet one, and the Wuthering Heights isn't being literary or being equal to what's considered a classic, it's just CLICHE. (Granted, I REALLY don't like WH, so I'm biased there, but still.)

 

@Paine: what's that about coffin-planting-bushes? O.o

Planting hawthorn or rose bushes over the coffin of a vampire had the same effect as staking- it prevented them from ever leaving.

 

And staking itself wasn't really supposed to kill the vampire, by the way- stakes of iron or certain woods were used to stake the vampire into the ground so it could be burned, or just keep it there forever. The only time staking killed a vampire was if it was one that had a second heart. If you staked it through its second heart, you would kill it. (Also, burning this heart and giving ashes to anyone who had been bitten would reverse the curse).

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...Second heart?

 

I need to brush up on vamp lore...

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...Second heart?

 

I need to brush up on vamp lore...

Yes you do x3 A lot of legends say vampires have a second heart, and it's destroying that heart that kills them.

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Stephanie Meyer had this to say about The Princess Bride:

Bella and Edward's love story is better than Westley and Buttercup's. When I was in college, I wrote a lot of papers from a feminine perspective (it's an easy way to write) on the Princess Bride. Buttercup is an idiot and it doesn't bother anyone, all that matters is that she's beautiful, at the end she became a little more smart, but the female characters are very weak in that story. Westley is brave and smart and fights, Buttercup is just beautiful, it's her only thing, her brain means nothing, her personality means nothing to him, they have the kind of love where they can't live without each other. It's not a great example to me.

 

user posted image

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Stephanie Meyer had this to say about The Princess Bride:

 

 

user posted image

Oh my god, YOU MADE JESUS FACEPALM.

 

BAD SMEYER.

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GRRRRR y is there no people who are actually really big twilighters like me attack the non believers

I've met tonnes of people who don't like my fandoms; series I really enjoy. I respect their opinions, and sometimes I see truth in them, sometimes I disagree. But all in all, its live and let live.

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GRRRRR y is there no people who are actually really big twilighters like me attack the non believers

You know, you're doing nothing to help the impression people get about the huge Twilight fans.

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You know, you're doing nothing to help the impression people get about the huge Twilight fans.

well sorry i luv jasper

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well sorry i luv jasper

No, I think that you're just reinforcing stereotypes of rabid fangirlism (specifically Twilight fangirlism) via your eyebleed-causing posts and general attitude.

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well sorry i luv jasper

I have no problem about you liking Twilight. Go ahead, love Jasper- we've all had crushes on various fandom characters. (Mostly).

 

But its just that Twihards have got a stereotype of using bad grammar, spelling, and getting a bit over-protective and rude over their fandom. That's what actually annoys most people about it.

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These things also don't help:

 

Banned for not likeing me Mary Alice Brandon Cullen Hale Whitlock

banned for admitting u hate twilight

Banned for hating twilight and all its sagas (quackie )

i HATE edward and bella if the had jazzy ones maybe but not those

 

I mean, seriously. Besides your complete disregard for proper English, those posts indicate, well...

Edited by RheaDark

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The Princess Bride:

 

IMG

EXCUSE ME?!

 

That stupid *****, how DARE she insult TPB, Buttercup is a THOUSAND times braver than Bella, prettiness or not! At least that story is a helluva lot more BELIEVABLE and not some wet dream fantasy! And she claims Buttercup and Wesley are just lovers who can't live without each other? REALLY? EXCUSE ME?! LOOK AT YOUR DAMN SPARKLE BOY!

 

... dry.gif

 

I love that movie, **** you Meyer.

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...

The thing she said about TPB made me puke a little.

And...

Damn.

I love crazy fangirls. They're so fun to flame.

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Wrong, on both counts.

 

About vampires that is.

 

In fact, there are four traditional elements that make the vampire, and I should really just copypasta my first post of it.

 

These elements are: Feeding off of human life (and weakening the human while doing so). This can range from blood sucking, to stealing breath (Eastern vampires), psychic feeding, even just eating people. These cannibal vampires are fairly rare though.Animal blood can be a temporary substitute, but they can NOT survive without human life. Second is a weakness to sunlight: they can burn to death instantly (a modern creation, started in the '20s), they can die of prolonged exposure, or they can just have their powers weakened. Point is, sunlight causes bad things. Third, they must be a reanimated corpse. Fourth, they need to have at least... four things that'll deter/kill them, and you can't make it to where it needs to be all at once. For all their power, vampires are actually extremely easy to kill once you get to them. You need to include at least one of the traditional methods- fire, stake, holy objects (but explain why), forcing them into the coffin and planting hawthorn or rose bushes over it, garlic, running water, etc.

 

Meyer's vampires have none of these- they do not require feeding off of humans, sunlight does not physically harm them, they are all changed while still alive (they do die, but I don't count that as a reanimated corpse), and they are near impossible to kill.

Hrrm, I suppose I should've gotten my facts straight.

I was right that they're not real vampires though!

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Twilight is quite possibly the worst piece of literature I have ever read.

 

Looking beyond the fact that Stephenie Meyer's writing skills are comparable to that of a twelve year old's, she completely ignores any and all vampire lore. I can understand an author making subtle changes to their vampires or taking elements from different vampire lore around the world to create their vampires, but I'm pretty sure that nowhere in any historical vampire lore is the mention of vampires SPARKLING in the sun.

 

Not to mention that Edward is the perfect example of an abusive, controlling partner. He toys with Bella, saying how much he cares for her yet being together is too dangerous. That translates into a guy telling a girl "Babe, I really like this hanging-out thing we've got going. We care about each other and we spend time together, so why make it all complicated and official?" Then he abandons her supposedly for her own protection. That translates into a guy telling a girl "It's not you, it's me", which anyone knows is ALWAYS a lie. Then he comes back and expects Bella to run into his arms again like his pet, which she does, sickeningly enough. That translates into the classic situation of a guy getting a girl to fall in love with him, then leaving her and breaking her heart hoping that it'll make her want him more, then swooping back into the picture looking like some kind of gracious hero.

 

It's really sad that this is the kind of relationship young girls are striving towards as a result of this travesty called Twilight.

 

I'm not even going to mention the stupidity of Bella having a demon child that nearly kills her on its way out of the womb, because I could rant about that for years.

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Stephanie Meyer had this to say about The Princess Bride:

 

 

user posted image

I haven't read TPB yet, but Meyer's own story is the same thing she claims about the other book and much worse.

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I am so close to creating an account called 'MIB' and adding to the stupity.

Do it biggrin.gif

 

We've got Team Rocket, LoTR, Half Life, Star Trek craft-pooling with Star Wars, and Aslan... sometime.

 

All we need is Jesus ._.

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