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DOLPHIN232

What Big Life Changes Have You Been Through?

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Posted (edited)

*Disclaimer: I tried my best to browse through the first ten forum pages, and used the search engine to find similar topics. It's also very late where I live, and quite possibly I missed something. If this is a dupe, mods please accept my apologies and feel free to close. Thanks!

 

I thought we could reflect/share our experiences with ending an "era" in our lives, and starting a new one. Whether it's moving cities, the end of your childhood, changing your career, or the start of parenthood: what was the experience like? Were you exhilarated? Scared? What kind of challenges did you face? Do you have a funny story about it?

 

I have two days left to accept a college offer and it's giving me major anxiety. I can either stay in my hometown with my boyfriend, or move *quite literally* across the country, completely alone. Since I was little, I'd always wanted to move out, but the older I get the more big changes terrify me. I can't even begin to comprehend how different life is going to be, and the idea of graduating into the less than decent job market in my (already struggling before coronavirus) province terrifies me. 

Edited by DOLPHIN232

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Posted (edited)


Did you end up accepting it?   

 

Moved across the country to be with a guy when I was 17 and it didn't work out. Stayed there for a different guy till I was 23 and that didn't work out either. Idk. I missed my family a lot and I missed a lot of opportunities and now I'm like, for what? I missed the degree I actually wanted because of a boy? Ugh

 

I don't like or trust people, generally, so my advice is probably worthless, but ig like... don't stay for him if you're gonna resent him for it. Not that this advice matters since the deadline has passed.

 

My recent big life change is I got married! Sometimes I wonder if I'm really ready for this, mostly because it's really hard for me to do a lot of "responsible adult stuff," and I know that that's because of my disabilities and not because I'm lazy or irresponsible but my anxious irrational brain keeps being like "you're like a literal 5 year old and she deserves better" 

 

On the other hand, I adore her, and every single day I'm grateful that she's in my life. She's my best friend and my whole world and my reason for living. I'm so blessed that we were born when we were and not 50 years earlier, so that not only can we be together openly without fear in most places but we can be legally, officially married! I got to marry my best friend and I'm so grateful for that.

 

Here's a spoiler box for no reason because I'm on mobile and don't know how to erase it:

 

Spoiler

 

 

Edited by w0rmg0d
removed extraneous details

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Recently, just about a week and a half ago, I finally moved out of my toxic household & got an apartment with my girlfriend. For years I’ve been wanting to move out, but have never had the money or means of doing so. My mother’s an addict, and a very, very mean one at that (sorry to get so personal!) and has been degrading me my entire life.. telling me I’d live with her until I’m 40, that I’ll never accomplish anything in life & that I’m just a waste of space. Yet here I am, chilling on the couch in my apartment, living off of my hard earned money, and doing more with myself than I ever expected. I believed her for so long, dealt with unimaginable trauma, and genuinely suffered for nearly my entire life. I didn’t think I’d live past the age of 16... I’m 20 now, and I now know that I have the potential to be who I want, to do what I want, and not live a life consumed in fear. This is a new chapter for me. I can’t wait to see where this new life takes me, because anywhere is better than where I was previously ❤️ 

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My recent big life change is getting laid off because of the pandemic. Company is on 'essential employees only' for now, which appears to be about 20% of normal. For the past 4 years or so I've only been working 8 hours a week due to health issues, and I do sometimes take short medical leaves when things get too bad... So for the first couple weeks after being laid off it didn't really feel that bad, felt like just another small leave. I cried when they told me, but it didn't *really* hit me until a couple weeks later. I worked at that company for 12 years, it's the only real job I've ever had, and it's a *big* change for me now. Supposedly they plan on re-hiring many of the same employees, including me, but... Who knows.

 

I think the biggest life-change in my life was in 9th grade, multiple things that basically turned my life upside-down. Short version is that bad things had happened the past few years, including my parents getting divorced and my grandma and grandpa both dying (I was *very* close to them), and I hadn't really grieved and dealt with it all I guess? I was seeing a therapist but things kept getting harder and harder to deal with, I eventually had a breakdown at school and went into an in-patient mental hospital place. Which was a horrible place and made me even worse, so my mom pulled me out and I went to a totally different out-patient place for two months. When that was over we both decided we just needed a complete change, so my mom and I moved here. I'd lived in San Diego my whole life and had only been out of the state a few times so moving to a different state where we knew no one at all was pretty scary. It ended up being a great change though, and I've now lived here longer than I'd lived there.(Full disclosure, though we didn't actually know anyone here it wasn't a completely unknown place, we used to come here for short vacation trips, and strangely enough this is where my mom and dad eloped!)

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Hoo boy. There's been a couple.

 

Childhood ending, trying to make it on my own, starting my career, and moving across the country pretty much almost at the same time. I was kicked out of my parents' home not long after reaching legal adulthood (but because of mental illness and developmental issues I definitely wasn't mentally an adult yet) mid-fall in a very cold part of the country and fled south so I wouldn't freeze--I had nowhere else to go anyway. I had to figure everything out at once and it was terrifying. I got an estranged relative to take me in for a little while, but as soon as I had a job I was out. A few years paying my own rent and I started college and that whole process was terrifying too. And in the middle of my junior year I got a TBI that left me barely able to walk for half a year and still needing leg braces and a cane for another year after that. Learning to navigate a whole new physical and mental disability was scary, too. Still is. Then I graduated a year behind schedule, but I made it (at 28). Now later this week I'm interviewing for a post-grad program and I'm sweating bullets.

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  • Being ripped away from everything I knew at 9 years old, after which I was forced to live with someone mentally ill because he could afford a better lawyer than my mom. It was so long ago now that it's like ancient history.
  • Accepting the fact that I'm not autistic or ADHD; just really ****ing weird. I was confirmed to be a fast processor in my last EEG, which might motivate me to retest my IQ after all. That the source of my weirdness could be so simple, after all...
  • Receiving the news that I'm one of those lucky unicorns whose JME has probably gone away for good, but I do have a high-rising epiglottis and probably sleep apnea (hence I'm always tired). Yippee.
  • Realizing that I may never fully trust humans, and that's perfectly all right. I just have to tolerate them. There are one or two that I trust.

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