Posted October 1, 2018 (edited) What happens when buried dragon eggs hatch with nobody around? For years, the simple island village had been plagued with nightmares. Or rather, just one - every dragon saw fire, saw their homes destroyed, saw their families killed. But no dragon saw more than a shadow of their attackers. Afraid that the coming attack was real, the leader of the village buried eggs underground and sealed them with a spell. Each full moon, more eggs were carefully buried among their peers, and the spell recast to keep the hatchlings inside dormant. The magic would also strengthen the young dragons, to ensure they would survive without the help of their parents. With the plan made and the eggs sealed away in dormancy, the dragons waited. They didn't have to wait long. Three full moons had passed when the shadows came, slipping past the guards on the darkest night. They destroyed and burned and killed, just as the dreams had foretold. They left the village a smouldering ruin, its inhabitants now cooked corpses in their former homes. But now it is full moon once again, and the magic protecting the eggs is waning. You are one of the young dragons, soon to emerge from the soil. In this strange new world, how will you survive? ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Rules are the general forum rules; no godmodding/Mary-sues/stuff, post 4 sentences or more. You all know the drill, I'm sure. I was asked how many characters you're allowed, and the answer is "as many as you think you can handle". Feel free to create more characters than you want to RP, since it'll be difficult to create new hatchlings once the third hatching has taken place, so having some 'spare' characters ready to be adopted will be a good thing! Hatchlings are 'ranked' based on when they were sealed, and also when they hatched. There were three batches of eggs buried, and they will hatch in that same order. Because of the strengthening magic used, the hatchlings that hatch first (and have been buried longest) are stronger than those in the second and third. Those in the third batch are still capable of walking around right after hatching, and all hatchlings can communicate easily. Everyone hatches in a sandy-floored area surrounded by burnt-down wooden houses. There is one stone cavern (the old leader's den). Beyond the burnt village is a forest, which shows no signs of fire damage. Form: (Please PM to me!) Name: (character's name) Rank: (1, 2 or 3) Appearance: (Describe! Not limited to DC dragons. Try to remember you're a hatchling; you can be born with small wings/wing-nubs, but you can't fly yet.) Power: (Your dragon may have one power. Try to keep it reasonable, but be creative ) Other: I'll reserve three posts, just in case. Edited October 3, 2018 by Zeditha Share this post Link to post
Posted October 1, 2018 (edited) And reserved. Please post with critique! (This is a remake of my *very* old first RP on this site, here. It was posted just two days after I joined the forums! I was so cute {and rude...}) (Thought it might also be worth adding that I did try a remake of this. It's still here, in unapproved, and I bumped it just a few days ago, but here is a link anyway!) Edited October 1, 2018 by Zeditha Share this post Link to post
Posted October 3, 2018 Hey there, Zeditha Popping in so you know this has been seen. I have some homework to be focusing on tonight but I will spend some time reading through everything tomorrow afternoon. Share this post Link to post
Posted October 4, 2018 7 hours ago, ValidEmotions said: Hey there, Zeditha Popping in so you know this has been seen. I have some homework to be focusing on tonight but I will spend some time reading through everything tomorrow afternoon. Thanks! Crits are good, I think the story is a little short but I was having trouble writing more. Share this post Link to post
Posted October 4, 2018 I can see where you're hoping to go with this thread. It can definitely use a little more expansion for information and some clarity. There are also some inconsistencies: the nightmares have been plaguing the village "for years" but the preparation only occurs over a few months? Regarding expanding on the writing: If there isn't a reason to keep the attack (or specific details) vague, go ahead and provide more details on that. -> What were the shadows? -> Why did this attack happen? -> Where did the nightmares come from? -> Why choose to stay at the village instead of moving elsewhere? You can also expand on the setting. -> What region is this village in? (Is this even in DC's current universe?) -> What sort of era is this? -> Are dragons the only sentient creatures in existence or are there other beings like humans, centaurs, etc.? It's good to expand the world (and you don't have to get nitty-gritty about everything) around the characters - they need to interact with and in it for the RP. I hope these questions help. Share this post Link to post
Posted October 4, 2018 Thanks for pointing out that inconsistency, I'll rework that one and comb over for others I missed There is a reason to keep the attack vague: the later focus of the story will focus on figuring out what happened. I thought I'd worked in a hint to that, but no, I didn't. I'll try to add one. Writing more about the world was what I most wanted to do, but I can't seem to get a link going between what I've written (above the ~*~*~*~*~*~*~) and the setting. Should I just write it in a separate section, or can you think of some way to connect them together? Thanks for the help! Share this post Link to post
Posted October 4, 2018 Writing things in separate sections is always acceptable ^^ If you can't figure out how to work it into the story, you don't have to do that. Share this post Link to post
Posted October 4, 2018 In that case, I might make the 'story' part even shorter for now, so I can remove the bits that are necessary info but make the flow feel clunky. I'll probably keep coming back to it and adding bits. and I might add writing prompts-to-self in white! Share this post Link to post
Posted October 4, 2018 Go for it If you need any assistance with your edits/expansion on thoughts, just let me know. You can even PM me if you prefer to. ^^ Share this post Link to post
Posted October 9, 2018 @Zeditha I've gone and closed your old thread as a "duplicate". I'll leave it be tonight and throw it away at the end of tomorrow (Oct. 9th) in case you still need to grab any more information from it. Share this post Link to post
Posted October 10, 2018 Thank you! I'm slowly working on editing; should have it done later today Share this post Link to post
Posted October 27, 2018 Just popping by to see if you're still working on this. Share this post Link to post
Posted October 27, 2018 Life is being annoying so progress is slow, but yes, I am still working on it. Share this post Link to post
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