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This is a very interesting competition! Would it be alright if I posted a piece of original fiction? If not then I'll see what I can cook up for some of my favourite not-made-by-me characters smile.gif

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This is a very interesting competition! Would it be alright if I posted a piece of original fiction? If not then I'll see what I can cook up for some of my favourite not-made-by-me characters smile.gif

I prefer fanfic, but if you have something else you really like, go ahead!

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Ahaha, this was quite fun to write, though Temeraire's way of phrasing things is hard to replicate tongue.gif


So in short, this is a scene where Hermione Granger from Harry Potter is placed in the universe of Naomi Novik's Temeraire series.


“What is this?” Her voice provoked immediate attention from the creatures surrounding her and she quickly shut her mouth again, regretting the outburst. She hadn’t meant to say anything at all, but she hadn’t been able to help herself, and now she found herself paying for the indiscretion as two large, draconic faces turned from their respective meals to focus their attention on her.


She couldn’t help but swallow as she stared in morbid fascination at the half-eaten, rather raw cow presently being lowered to the ground by one of the dragons as it focused more thoroughly on her. These were some of the largest dragons she had ever seen - at least twice, if not three times as large as the Ukrainian Ironbelly she, Harry and Ron had escaped from Gringotts on. She hadn’t known dragons so large existed!


Her hands trembled a little as she fumbled for her wand. Some dragons were resistant to magic, she knew, but others were not, and she didn’t know about these. They looked like no breeds she had ever read about in her life. At least they seemed to have food, so maybe they wouldn’t attack her if she tried to back away, slowly...


“Why, whatever are you referring to?” The deep voice came from above, and it took her a few seconds before she realized that since there were no one but her and the dragons in the clearing, and she had not spoken… Her eyes travelled upwards and met the curious stare of one of the dragons. He was wholly black, with some sort of ruff around his face where she thought the horns usually were, and he was very much staring at her with bright blue, slit pupiled eyes.


For a moment she was speechless - talking dragons, who had ever heard of such a thing? - and before she could say anything, whether to scream or respond to the question, one of the other dragons answered for her.


“She’s asking what we’re doing here, of course, and good on her. I’m wondering a little myself.” This dragon was the largest of the two, and she found herself almost admiring the colour on his hide, very much like a bright sunset with shadings from red to yellow. All thoughts of beauty disappeared from her mind in a flash, however, when he leaned in towards her, and she found herself taking a few hasty steps backwards.


“You see, Temeraire here,” at this he nodded towards the black dragon, “got it into his head that we should all learn to write, to what point I’m sure I don’t know.” He sat back a little, and she found herself breathing a little easier. “But once he’s gotten himself an idea he won’t let it go, so it’s easier to just go along with it.” He nodded pleasantly to her - or as pleasantly as any dragon could, she supposed - before he went back to his cow.


“Why, that is unfair, Maximus!” The black dragon, Temeraire, exclaimed. “I am simply thinking of your happiness. Would it not be nice to be able to write each other letters, when we are apart? Berkley can take your dictation, I suppose, but it is much nicer to write for yourself. And that way, if you find an especially nice cave, you can carve your name above it and all shall know that it belongs to you! It is quite nice to be able to write, is it not?”


This last question was directed at her, and she started a little before she ventured a reply. “I… Well, yes, it is.” Temeraire turned triumphantly towards Maximus, who only grumbled in return, attention focused on his cow. The argument thus settled, he reached for his own cow before he seemed to remember that she was still there.


“Why, I don’t think I’ve introduced myself. I’m Temeraire, and this is Maximus.” She had gathered as much from their conversation, and with a mental shake she banished every instinct screaming at her to run. They didn’t seem inclined to hurt her, and while she had never met any talking dragons before, she was not intending to stand there like a mute fish all day. And if she didn’t quite slacken her grip on her wand, well, that was just good sense.


“I’m Hermione Granger, nice to meet you.” She thought the expression on Temeraire’s face could most be described as satisfied as he moved a little closer to her. She determinedly did not move backwards even as he peered down at her, and she squashed the part of her that wanted to. She was not a Gryffindor for nothing!


“What are you doing here?” The question did not come from above, for once, and she turned to find a man walking towards her. “Laurence!” The exuberant call came from Temeraire, and before she could say anything he introduced her. “Laurence, this is Hermione Granger. I’m not sure what’s she’s doing here, precisely, but she’s been quite polite so far. Miss Granger, this is my captain, Laurence.”


Captain? She looked at the man. He had the bearing of a man of importance, at least, and was wearing what looked to be a uniform… But to be the captain of a dragon?


“Oh, Laurence! Can she not be on my crew? She looks quite lost, and it would be very unkind of us not to take her in, when she has nowhere else to go.”


She blinked up at Temeraire at the outburst, speechless once again. Was she being adopted by a dragon?


Abruptly she decided that enough was enough. She didn’t know where she had arrived, but it was plainly not where she had intended to go, and with a determined motion she twisted her time-turner again. Maybe this time she would actually arrive at number twelve Grimmauld Place in time for Harry’s birthday.

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Can you use a story you've previously written that fits this theme? I have a modern AU I wrote some years back with some of my fave Inuyasha characters where they're all human. One fic in that series would work here if it's allowed. biggrin.gif

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Can you use a story you've previously written that fits this theme? I have a modern AU I wrote some years back with some of my fave Inuyasha characters where they're all human. One fic in that series would work here if it's allowed. biggrin.gif

That's fine!

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Ahaha, this was quite fun to write, though Temeraire's way of phrasing things is hard to replicate tongue.gif


So in short, this is a scene where Hermione Granger from Harry Potter is placed in the universe of Naomi Novik's Temeraire series.


Very nice! biggrin.gif

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My one last ditch entry...this one isn't posted on any other site, so this will be the first time it's seen. The working title is "The Devil Went Down To Ponyville". It is a bit long, still, but it should be a funny read for those who've seen both shows. It takes place shortly before S6 of My Little Pony and after S5 of Supernatural, but it's AU for SPN. You can ignore the SPN universe if you want and just read it as Lucifer from Biblical myth ends up in Ponyville somehow if you don't know Supernatural. The Devil in a town of talking, friendly, pastel ponies should still be amusing. laugh.gif


Lucifer from Supernatural (who is also the Lucifer/Devil/Satan from the Bible) is destroyed during the Apocalypse and God, instead of destroying and torturing his soul for eternity, sends it to Equestria, land of Harmony and Friendship. If you want to know why, I'll be posting this on FIMFiction when it's finished so you can read the whole thing. Meanwhile...I present "The Devil Went Down To Ponyvillle". tongue.gif


The last thing Lucifer remembered, after beating that stupid human to a pulp and getting back to his fight was Michael plunging a sword into his heart. By all accounts, he should be dead and incapable of remembering anything. Death spared no one, not even an angel. Death had been his slave for millions of years, after all. He knew everything there was to know about Death.


Right now, all the fallen angel knew was that he had a pounding headache. Something that angels didn't get. What had Michael done to him? No, not Michael. His brother had definitely shoved a sword straight into his heart. So why could he still think? Lucifer forced his eyes open and almost instantly shut them. A brilliant gold light was hovering above him. God? Could it really be Father after all these years?


The Prince of Darkness risked opening an eye again, and sighed. Just the sun. Except REALLY bright. Much brighter than anything he'd seen on Earth. He sighed and closed his eyes again, thinking. Michael couldn't have done whatever this was.


Lucifer was almost as powerful, and he certainly couldn't...er...teleport people to other planets, or whatever this was. No, this could only be the work of Father. Why would Father take an interest in His son after all these years? Was it because of those monkeys? The Winchester brothers and their defiance?


Lucifer couldn't hold back the moan of pain that escaped his should-be-dead lips. Or rather...did he even have lips? With a bit of trepidation, the fallen angel opened his eyes again and turned away from the too-bright sun, finally taking in his surroundings. Grass, lush, green, springtime grass. Trees in full bloom. Birds chirping an irritatingly heavenly-sounding song. At least his body was still intact. Or rather, the body he'd been possessing...right?


With a sigh, Lucifer risked looking down. If he'd been a lesser sort of being, he would have screamed. Instead of the body of one of those talking monkeys, he was in the body of...a small horse. Even worse, a small horse with red fur and...oh, dear Father, no...a bright PINK mane and tail. It was CURLY, too! Lucifer then lost all of his dignity and let out an ear-piercing scream. This was The. Worst. Possible. THING!


“Oooh! Hey, mister, are you okay? I haven't seen you in Ponyville before. You're new. I know everyone in Ponyville. Ooohh! I know! You're from Cloudsdale! Do you know Rainbow Dash? She's a pegasus, too!” A grating, obnoxious female voice interrupted his self-pitying thoughts.


With even more rising horror, he noticed that the horse-thing talking to him was even more pink than his new body. Her fur, mane, and tail were all a bright pink. This had to be his own personal Hell. One of the brothers had to have done this. Not even his Father would have tortured him this much.


The talking horse didn't bother him so much, after all, he was an angel and could speak to animals. It was her...pinkness. Pink was the most evil color in the universe, and he was Satan, so he knew evil! What sort of super-demon was this pink equine? A new creation of Father's, sent by those Winchester monkeys to torment him?


The pink super-demon was still staring at him expectantly, an impossibly huge smile on her...what? Lips? Muzzle? No, he decided, face was probably the best word to use. Lucifer stood, which wasn't difficult.


When you'd been in the body of literally everything ever, including a T-rex, a horse body was quite easy to stand in. With relief, he noticed his wings were still intact. He spread the large, feathery red wings, giving them a few test flaps. He rose off the ground a few feet. He sighed in contentment. Even a small amount of flying...rather, hovering, made one feel...free. At least his precious wings were in working order.


Lucifer coughed a few times, slowly figuring out how to speak in this equine form, “What is this? Where am I? Did the Winchesters put you up to this?”


He glared at the pink thing, trying to use his powers to force her to tell the truth. That was when he realized he had no magic. The Prince of Darkness screamed again.


“Awww! Don't be scared, cutie. No one put me up to this. My Pinkie Sense told me there was a new pony just right near the Everfree Forest, and I just had to come get you. I know, we'll have a welcome to Ponyville party! Oh, right, you asked where you are. You're in Ponyville, a town in Equestria. The bestest, most amazingest, super partyingest town ever! Ponyville is the center of harmony and friendship!”


The pink demon lunged for Lucifer and pulled into a rib-breaking hug.


“C-can't...breathe...” Lucifer coughed, gagged. The pink pony released him, still smiling that ridiculous smile. Her huge eyes widened, if that were possible. She gasped and pointed a hoof at his own.


“What are those, mister? Are you a criminal? Did you escape from the Royal jail? Or maybe you're an evil monster from Tartarus!”


The pink one screamed, but ended up falling on her butt, giggling. “Oooh, I know. You just like wearing shiny bracelets.”


Lucifer glanced down. Damn it! Maybe this was why he couldn't use magic here. Though there was no chain binding his legs (both pairs) together, there were silver shackles clenched tightly above his hooves. He tried pulling them off, gritting his teeth in irritation. The pegasus-angel brought one shackle up to his teeth. Horses had strong teeth. Maybe he could bite the irritating cuffs off. Lucifer bit down and screamed. He spat a bloody tooth into the grass.


“Awww! It's okay. I've lost teeth! It only hurts for a little bit! Don't worry. I have some potion that will numb that right up. Come to Sugarcube Corner with me, and-” The pink thing babbled.


“SHUT. UP!” Lucifer snarled, “Who are you? WHAT are you?”


The pink thing blinked a few times, that creepy, creepy smile never leaving her face. She tilted her head, which made her look even more creepy. No one should ever be able to out-creep Satan, but she was doing it!


“I'm a Pinkie Pie! My name's Earth Pony!” She shouted, bouncing around him, grinning.


Lucifer smacked his face with a hoof. “I'm pretty sure you have that backwards. Don't you mean your name is Pinkie Pie? And what's an Earth Pony?”


The pink demon, Pinkie Pie (what a creative name), looked at him as if he were stupid.


“You don't know what an Earth Pony is? Wow, you've spent way too much time in Cloudsdale! I knew some pegasises were arrogant, but claiming not to know what an Earth Pony is? That's weird! Oh, and an Earth Pony is a pony....of the earth!” Pinkie Pie explained...not really explaining anything.


Lucifer blinked. “Right. Okay. At least we're still on Earth...right?”


The pegasus-angel looked around. Everything at least looked Earth-like, just...brighter. More vibrant. It looked, to be honest, like the Garden did before he had corrupted Eve into eating the Fruit of Knowledge, leading to their expulsion and...Lucifer shook his head, sighing. Remembering what had once been wouldn't change things. Maybe this was an alternate Earth. One where ponies were the dominant species.


One where they weren't tempted, where the alternate Lucifer didn't tempt them into eating the Fruit. Perhaps...this was a world where Eden was still intact. The fallen angel felt a wave of peace. Eden. Even as a pony-creature, it could still be paradise. He could stay here. He could enjoy himself here. No one would ever know what he once was. He was a pony, now. He was in Eden. He would enjoy it...there would be no temptation. Just...whatever this was.


No, what a ridiculously sentimental thought! He had to get back to his world. He had to finish what he started. His goody-goody brother couldn't be allowed to win! No, Lucifer would find a way home, and he would win! He would-


“Earth? No, this place is called Equus! The capitol is Canterlot, the Crystal Empire is reeaaallly close to being a second capitol, especially since it now has it's own family dynasty! At least, it will when the Princess gives birth! So exciting, I can't WAIT! Sweet Celestia, it's going to be SUPER PARTY-RIFFIC!” The pink thing squealed, interrupting his thoughts.


“Oooooh! I don't know your name yet! What is it? Huh? Huh? Ohhh, I bet I know. It's like your cutie mark. Rising Dawn? Dawn Star? Oooh, I can get it!” The Pinkie Pie (he still wasn't sure if that was her name or species) asked, pointing at his...what, flank?


Lucifer turned, blinked. There was a weird mark on his flank. A ruby-gold half-sun slowly rising above a gold landscape. He almost laughed. The pink thing was sort of right. Dawn Star. Morning Star. Of course. Lucifer Morningstar. It made total sense. He glanced back at the pink pony, who was so perilously close to touching his flank with her nose. He kicked a hoof backwards, hitting the pink pony's own butt mark or whatever they were called and sending her head over hooves into the grass.


The stupid thing giggled! He wrinkled his nose in disgust. This place was even worse than the Cage! Worse than Hell! It was...super Hell or something!


“Soooo? What's your name?” Pinkie Pie stood up, bounced around a few times, shot into the air like a weird cannon ball and landed in front of him, a huge smile on her face. Apparently, getting kicked did nothing.


Lucifer's lips twitched. He almost told her to eff off, but something else told him she wouldn't listen and would just keep following him.


“Morning Star. My name is Morning Star. Some peop-er, ponies, back home called me Light-Bringer, but I prefer Morning Star. That's the name my Father gave me, and that's the name I'll always keep.”


He fluttered his wings in slight annoyance. This thing probably wouldn't get it no matter what. For that matter, why was his name so important to him? His Father, the one who made him like he was, gave it to him. He should have changed it, but the thought had never occurred to him.


Why was it now? In fact, why were ANY good thoughts occurring to him? Such as staying in this Eden-like place, in peace, living with these pony creatures as one of them without his dark past hanging over him.


Perhaps...Castiel, the other fallen angel, the one who had fallen for a different reason than him, for the love of a human, had it right. Angels needed to think. Angels could have free will just like humans. They just had to be shown the way.


Lucifer had never really had free will, not really. He had so loved his Father, so badly that he refused to bow to humans, but...had Father been RIGHT all along? Were they better? Was free will better?


He lay down on the soft green grass and closed his eyes, sucking in a breath of air. Apples. He almost laughed. Eden. It was truly another Eden. Even the air was heavy with the scent of fruit, particularly apples, just like Eden. The Morningstar smiled and spread his wings, stretching them into the air, feeling the warm currents rush through the red feathers. A soft sigh escaped him. A sigh of happiness, contentment.


Something he hadn't truly felt since...since Heaven. Since sitting beside his Father, his precious brothers, his family. Not even being united with his human vessel, that Winchester, had led to contentment. Just a feeling of victory, of triumph over his brother.


Michael's vessel hadn't agreed, so he had to unite with the third brother. The weaker one. Lucifer may have won, then. If he had been prepared for Michael's attack. If that Dean person hadn't shown up and distracted him. He'd seen many futures. One where he lost, where Sam took control of the body from him, jumped back in his Cage, with his brother. One where he won, killed them all, took over the Earth. That was as far as that future went.


He wondered if that meant he truly lost in the end. If the Second Coming happened, and Father won. If that future was truly the promised paradise. Or if it were just zombie city, like Dean had been talking about. What did it truly matter? This was the future now. No, this was the present. He was in a land of talking ponies. A Garden of Eden filled with them. Peace. Harmony. Could it last? Could a creature such as Lucifer Morningstar, Satan, evil incarnate, really have peace?


Or was he truly evil? He remembered Her. The real evil. The Darkness. His Aunt. Could Her cloud of Darkness be descending upon the world he left, even now? He needed to at least find a way to look into Earth. His Aunt or not, She was still Father's enemy, and he still loved Father. Morning Star (that was the name he was going to use in this world) sighed. He couldn't use magic. Probably due to the shackles on his legs. He would have to find someone who could. To do that, he would have to continue talking to...the Pink Thing.


The Pink Thing was still bouncing in place, apparently his thoughts hadn't taken up much time. She grinned at him.


“MORNING STAR! That's such a GREAT name! It's like...Twilight Sparkle! Er...or Sunset Shimmer...or Starlight Glimmer! Wait, what?” Pinkie Pie looked confused, for good reason. It seemed even she had no idea what she was talking about. “Welllll, whatever! It sounds like if you were a unicorn, you totallyyyy would have been one of Celestia's pupils!”


“Unicorn?” Morning Star blinked, then memories he didn't know he had came to him. Of course. A race of MAGIC users. Just what he needed. “Oh, yes. Of course. Do you...know any powerful unicorns? They might be able to help get these, er, fancy bracelets, off. I sort of put them on and can't get them off now.” He lied.


Pinkie Pie gasped, “Of course I know powerful unicorns! The absolutely most power-riffic unicorn ever! Well, she's actually an alicorn now, but she was a powerful unicorn and her magic is super duper amazing. She's the Twilight Sparkle I mentioned. Oh, and she's a pretty mare, maybe you'll like her!”


The pink-hued pony started bouncing away, down a gravel road toward what looked like a garishly painted pastel town. Morning Star wrinkled his lips, muzzle, whatever. Disgusting! Still...he needed his power back. He grudgingly followed Pinkie, glaring at her flank, which was decorated with a triple balloon butt mark.

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This an old one, I dusted off for posting in the contest. I can't believe it's 6 years old! blink.gif (It can be found over at ff.net under my username of kirayasha aka kira)


Anyway, it's part of my modern AU in which Bankotsu & Jakotsu are normal humans living in Tokyo as a high power couple, instead of the undead mercenaries they were in Takahashi-sensei's "Inuyasha." It also reflects they way the game used to be played at the time it was written.




Title: Jakotsu and the Golden Eggie (parts 1-4)

Fandom: Inuyasha

Author: kira

Rating: PG

Genre: General

AU/Canon: Modern AU'verse

Characters: Jakotsu/Bankotsu, Kouga, Sesshomaru

Summary: Jakotsu catches a gold egg…

Warnings: none

<i>For Hime-sama…</i>




Part 1


Jakotsu sat there, staring at the computer screen, his thumb pulsing on the "F5" button. The page refreshed and he clicked like mad on the image of the mystery egg. After what felt like all of eternity in a second, the screen which had gone white on him, slowly loaded. There at the top of the page was the prize, a cave born gold egg. The forty nine year old cross-dresser squealed with delight.


His life-partner, Bankotsu, came running. "Sweetness? Are you alright?"


Jakotsu looked over at him and nodded. "I just caught me a gold eggie! And not just any gold eggie, but a cave born one!"


Bankotsu looked at him like he had three heads. "Okay…"


"You know, Ban honey, that game that Kouga likes to play…"


The younger man shook his head.


"Come're I'll show you my scroll." Jakotsu clicked on the word "scroll" and the page changed, going to what looked like a piece of parchment with dragon sprites and text and numbers on it. "See," he pointed to the gold egg at the top. "That's the one I just got. Not even Kouga, whose scroll is three times as big as mine, has one. And see those?" he pointed to what looked like a couple of tiny chickens. "Those are my chickens, they're really hard to get, and about as rare as that paper dragon and the CB gold eggie I just caught."


"You're a nutter, you know that?" The younger man chuckled.


"I know, but you still love me…"


"Always…" Bankotsu kissed him.



Part 2


The next day at work, Bankotsu had one of his assistants go see if Kouga was in the studio as he wanted to see him. A few minutes later, Youkai's bassist entered his office. "Ah, Kouga…" Bankotsu grinned, "Just the man I wanted to see."




The forty five year old recorder producer nodded. "Thank you."


"Uh, you're welcome…"


Bankotsu glared at him. "Thanks to you, all Jak does is play on the damned computer. It seems someone got him into some stupid online game, what's it called again…? The one with the dragons…"


"Dragon Cave Dragons," Kouga replied.


"Yeah, well uh, now instead of reading his scripts and memorizing his lines, he's playing that stupid game."




"Yeah, and this morning he was in hysterics, because his gold CB eggie that he caught last night had softshell and he was afraid it'd die. And he got very upset when I told it was just a sprite and not real so it can't die-"


"He's got a CB gold egg?! Holy censorkip.gif! That's freaking awesome! I still don't have one of those and I've been playing for awhile now! I don't know how he does it, but he's got five chickens all the dinos, the special holiday eggs, someone even bred him a holly! Do you know how rare they are?!"


"No, and I don't care… what I do care about is my life-partner's new obsession with some stupid game. And to make matters worse he couldn't reach his mentor last night, apparently he, uh went offline at ten…"


"Yeah, well, Sessh only stays up on the weekends or when we're on tour…"


"His mentor is Sessh?"


"You didn't know?"


"I do now…"


"Can I go, Ban?"





Part 3


Kouga left his boss' office and headed towards the bank of elevators at the end of the reception area. One opened and Sesshomaru stepped out.


"Hey, Kouga, any idea why Ban wanted to see me?" the blond guitarist asked.


"Yup. You're about to catch hell, my friend, for not being online last night." Kouga laughed as he pushed the button.




"Jak's caught dragon fever."


"Oh censorkip.gif…"


"Yup and it's our fault."


"Oh crap! I did shoot him an email this morning about fogging the poor thing. Damn is he ever lucky! Not only does he have a CB gold, but one of his waters is an inbred Thuwed Dorkface cross!"


"Uh, Sessh… If I were you, I'd cut the DC talk around Ban…"


"Right… Well, I'd better go get my head handed to me by the boss man."


They laughed.


"How about we go find an empty office during lunch so I can toss you that bluna hatchie I've got for you. The egg hatched last night like I said it would."


"Sweet! I can wait to catch the lil booger!"


"Yeah! Later then…"





Part 4


That evening when Bankotsu came home from work, he was surprised to find Jakotsu curled up on the sofa, reading his script. From the look of things, he had apparently spent the day catching up on the work he had neglected in favor of playing the dragon game. "Hey, Sweetness," the forty five year old said as he walked over to him

Jakotsu peered up at him. Taking off his glasses, he smiled and said, "I'm sorry; I didn't hear you come in, Ban honey." He kissed his life-partner when he sat down next to him.


"That's okay. So how's the eggie?"


Jakotsu giggled. "I don't know. Rin called this morning, offering to babysit my scroll so I could get some work done. She's even going to look after it while I'm away at work. I'm glad she did, as Sessh is right there and between the two of them, they'll be okay…"


"That's good."


"Yeah, she also chewed me out for neglecting things, especially you…" The cross-dresser smiled impishly. "By the way, you don't have to worry about the litter box; I went digging for buried treasure this morning."


They laughed.


"It was getting a little ripe. Banryu gave me a dirty look this morning about it too," Bankotsu said.


His life-partner giggled. "Yeah, Nekozawa wasn't too happy about the situation as well. But now that everything's nice and clean and their tummies are full, I was wondering if you wanted to go out for some takoyaki?"


"You forgot to make dinner, hunh?"


"No, I thought that going out for something you like, and yes, you can have as many Kirins as you'd like too, would be nice. I'm sorry, I was neglecting you." Jakotsu leaned towards him and kissed him.


"Sounds like a plan."


"Sounds like a date to me…"



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Very nice! biggrin.gif

Thank you! smile.gif



So, I thought I'd post this as well, even if it isn't fanfiction. I call it, creatively, "Chapter Eight", since, well, it is chapter eight in a (so far) sixteen-chapter story. It's about the only part of the story I'm actually somewhat happy with, though it'll still have to be rewritten at some point (when I'm not completely sick of the characters any more) smile.gif



So when the wee hours of the morning came and she decided it was early, but not so early that it was breaking social norms (she had been berated for waking her companion before), she decided to explore. And so she did. Down the stairs first, careful not to step where she had heard sounds the evening before. One step at a time, slowly, slowly. Everything was quiet, and she felt a smile appear at her face. It was kind of exciting, she thought, to be sneaking around so. It was one thing to wake first in their camp, and an entire other thing to go exploring in someone’s house when everyone else was asleep.


As she walked around the room she heard a sound. What was that? Something light, something human? It sounded like someone was laughing, and intrigued she walked closer to the door. That was where it came from, and as she approached it the laugh became stronger, and she began to hear other things with it. Other voices, other laughs. Laughs like bells, tinkling and gorgeous, high picked and flowing in the wind. Laughs like those from deep in the belly, jolly and good-hearted, full of feelings of joy. And a multitude of other voices, talking, laughing. Sounds of merriment seemed to trickle under the door, through the windows and into the room she was in. Snippets of songs she had not heard before, walking feet, running children. Joyous voices.


She peeked out the window. Nothing. She rose from her hidden position beneath the window sill and looked out properly. It was dark outside, and for a moment all she could see was herself in the weak light of the fading fire. Where were the voices she had heard? From the sound of it there had been many people, more than she had ever seen before, and they had been having fun. She had wanted to see it at the very least, yet there were nothing to be seen outside the window.


She took a breath and made up her mind. If there was nothing to be seen from here then she would simply have to go somewhere else. She turned from the window and walked towards the door. She would simply go outside and look for them.


The door was closed with some sort of wooden log across it, and it was easy to guess that it was used to keep unwanted visitors away. She lifted it up and away so she could open it. She had no way of replacing it once she was outside, but she only felt a stick of guilt at leaving them without something to keep people outside with - it would not be long before others woke up, and she did not intend to stay away for long in any case.


With determination and purpose in every move she put a hand on the door handle and opened it. Rather quickly, too. And then she was left standing there, unable to move for a few moments.

The people she had not been able to see outside the window were here, all of them, moving along the road towards the forest. People unlike any she had ever seen. For a moment she could do nothing but stare. Who were they, where were they going? As soon as the questions popped into her mind she gathered herself. She wouldn't figure it out by simply standing here. Resolution made she threw herself into the procession.


There were people everywhere, and everything seemed to have a glow of its own. And it was not something she simply imagined, for she could see the trees light up as they passed them. It was exciting, and she weaved nimbly through the creatures as they walked. And creatures they were. She could not call them humans, though many looked like it, for they were not humans. She saw wings and tails and horns, some large and small. She saw humans in sizes she had not thought possible, some only as large as her thumb. There were those with masks and those without, those with markings on their faces and hands and those without. Then there were people with colouring she had not envisioned, like trees and grass and flowers. There were those who were transparent and those who were as solid as rock.


Giddily she moved through the crowd as they walked, seeing new things wherever she turned. It seemed to be a festival of sorts, she thought - her companion had told her of them and this seemed like the right atmosphere for it. Everyone were talking and laughing, and as she had heard there were children running underfoot.


At some point she was handed something to eat and something to drink, all, it seemed, in the spirit of kindness and generosity, and after that everything seemed even brighter than it had before.


Before she knew it they had veered off the road into the woods, and then she was lost.


At first she did not mind. She had fun. She was seeing so many things she had never seen, was learning so many new things.


Then she grew worried. She did not really know when the unpleasant feeling in the middle of her stomach started, but she knew it was worry when she felt it. But she did not understand why she was worried. Everything was fine, was it not? She had fun, she was meeting new people, new creatures, she was learning new things…


She had learned many new things. Right? She looked around. She had been learning... She had talked to… She knew… The feeling in her stomach grew into a lump. She could not remember. Had she really talked to anyone? What was she doing, really? And… How long had she been here? She did not know where she was, so she did not know how long it had taken to get here. She looked up, but the trees were too tall for her to see the sky. Based on the light it could be anything from early to late.


The creatures around her walked past her as she stopped, unheeding and unknowing of her, but the sounds they made no longer sounded as merry to her. They were the same sounds, the same laughter and songs and talk, but it seemed somewhat ominous. She had not talked to anyone, had she? She had not really done anything but walk with them.


When she realized that she wanted to turn around. Wanted to go back to the inn, back to her companion who was surely worried for her by now.


So she turned, tried to walk away, but once she had taken a few steps she was back to walking with the crowd. The worry jumped to her throat, and for a moment she could not breathe. But no, she needed to get a grip. She needed to stay calm. She had never been afraid before, but this she did not like. She did not like not being in control of her own movements, her own mind. She needed to get away.


Again she tried to turn and walk away. And again. And again. But no matter where she walked, no matter if she walked straight away or to the side, she could not seem to get away. The only way she could walk was with the crowd.


By now she had gone a bit further, every step she took another one towards the place they wanted her to go. What could she do? She did not know where she was, had not been here before, in this part of the forest… In this forest. For this was not even the forest she knew anymore. And she did not know how to get out of it.


With a start she noticed that she had begun to breathe faster, that her heart beat quicker, and she took a deep breath. However wrong it felt, they had not tried to hurt her. They had simply walked past her when she stopped, not caring about her. Perhaps, then, she could simply let them pass her by. She would simply stand still, not moving in either direction, until there were no more creatures and she could walk away.


So she stood still, striving to keep her breathing under control, striving to keep calm. She had never felt fear like this before, had never been so unsettled and close to a panic. But she would keep calm. She would remember that the world did not mean her any harm, and so she would be safe simply waiting this out.


She waited. And waited. And for a while she closed her eyes to what she knew, what she had seen but did not want to acknowledge. But when that same pair of wings came into her view a third time, in the same way with the same motions, flowing around and talking to the same mask, she could no longer deny it.


So she ran. She ran and ran, as fast as she could. Away, her mind screamed at her, get away. It is not safe for you, you cannot stay here!


And then she arrived, and she knew she could not run anymore. For no matter how fast she ran or where she ran, she would always move in the same direction.


She shuddered as she watched the people, the creatures that glowed and radiated and were not real walk into the pitch black lake. And she shuddered when she knew she had to follow them. For what else could she do?


For a long time all she did was stand there and stare at the lake, stare as the creatures walked into it, as merry as ever, stare as the same pair of wings passed her again and again, as the same child ran and fell and rose again. Into the darkness, into the water. She stared until she almost thought she could see it, see the black hole at the bottom of the lake, the hole she was sure every one of them walked into. The hole she knew she would have to walk into.


She had seen creatures hunt before, had seen them kill and eat their pray. She had seen that pray flee, try to survive and get away. At this moment she understood them. And she did not know how to get away, except for standing still. She could not walk back, and she could not walk forwards. So she stood still.


At some point the light changed, became darker, and in turn the ethereal procession around her became all the more otherworldly. She did not understand how she had not seen it, had not understood that this was not natural, not a part of this world. She had observed so much, yet she had still walked into this trap. For by now she was sure it was a trap. She could feel the eyes of the predator in the deep, waiting for her to give up, to walk into the water and let it eat her.


And she knew she would. She could not stand here for all eternity. She had grown used to time, to hurrying and to living, and she knew that neither her patience nor her fear were infinite. Soon one or the other or both would break, and whichever it was she would walk into that lake. But for now her patience kept her waiting and her fear kept her rooted still. So she stood still a little longer.


She did not know why, or when, or even how she took the first step, only that she did. At some point the stillness, the repeated movements of the apparitions around her had lulled her into a sense of security, had undermined her fear. She had forgotten her terror. And so she moved forward, towards the lake. If she was not afraid then her belief that the world was not dangerous or scary prevailed, even against the judgement of her mind, and her body moved forwards without her consent.


The spell of safety shattered at the first feeling of cold water at her feet, and as her terror returned she ran before she could help herself. Before she knew it she was caught, first waist deep in water, and then completely submerged, cold, dark water on all sides and no possibility of returning to the surface.


That was when she saw it. The creatures were even here as merry as they had been on the surface, laughing and singing, but the sound was more obviously than ever wrong, warped by the water and atmosphere. And in the light of the procession she could see it, their goal, their destination.


It was deeper than she was at the moment, but she no longer had to walk to move closer to it. The water dragged her, and she could not resist it as the cold turned her limbs numb and the lack of air made her lungs burn. But most of all she could not resist the pull because she was frozen with fear. She had never seen anything like it. It was large and dark, and she could not see where the water ended and the creature began, but what dominated her sight was not the shape of it. What she could not tear her eyes from was the large, yellow, luminescent eyes looking straight at her, and only her, and the large mouth full of sharp teeth. And into that large mouth full of sharp teeth was where she was headed, along with the entire procession.


That was when her rational mind, which had functioned to some degree up until now, shattered and all she could think of was to get away. She would not be eaten, she would not die here, alone in a place she did not know, before she had even lived properly.


So she fought with everything she had, forced her tired, numb limbs to move and swim and struggle against the flow of water. It seemed to be different here - every take she took did not bring her closer to the mouth, she could move against the flow of beings, yet it was no use. Despite all her walking and running in the forest she was not strong enough to fight the currents of water, and the more she moved the more her lungs burned. She was no fish which could live in water. She was a human, and she needed air.


She forced herself to move in spite of her lack of air, despite the currents, but every moment brought her closer to the mouth, to the creature who wanted to eat her and survive on her life, and soon she stopped thinking and simply swam as fast as she could, struggled as hard as she could. She did not want to die here. She had so much left to do, so many things left to see. She was not ready, would not, could not, not yet not now not not not not....

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I so wanted to write this up properly, but RL has unfortunately contrived to make this a week not conductive to creative writing. But I loved the P&P/Old Kingdom crossover bunny this dragon pair gave me, so hopefully this write up is short(er) but still sweet:


Clariel left me yearning for an ending with no Chlorr - though not a very realistic yearning given the confines of the story and not much wiggle room given the mechanics of magic in the Old Kingdom. But Moggets last words suggested to me that the Charter holding less sway where Clariel was going could perhaps be not unlike with Ancelstierre/the crossing, which is rather to me like the precarious joining of two universes. Portals and the like are notoriously unreliable and all.... So what if, in crossing this boundary, Clariel somehow stumbled on a small hole in the fabric of her own reality and tumbled through it to England?


I imagined a Clariel taken in by the Bennets, possibly pre-book to prevent Darcy from having already stolen Elizabeth away from future meetings with Belatiel tongue.gif Between Lizzie's sharp wit and Clariel's disinterest in relationships and social niceties, Clariel and Lizzie would probably wreck even more emotional havoc upon visiting eligible bachelors than Lizzie managed on her own.


Nobody but Lizzie would understand how a girl with (literally!) no family in the world, no prospects, and no security, could be so cavalier about any marriage opportunities that she chooses to pass by. Mr Bennet would likely be delighted to find a smart but charmless new pseudo-daughter even less interested in the marriage market than his Lizzie. Mrs Bennet would probably be greatly conflicted between heights of nerves over the extra competition ("And under my own roof, Mr Bennet! It is not to be borne!") and fondness for a girl who happily shoves young men towards the Bennet girls at any opportunity - even if it is just to get them away from herself. Perhaps Clariel might take off to travel remote areas of Europe to find new forests, or perhaps she might stay and keep Mr Bennet quietly company after Lizzie is married, or perhaps she might find some poor chap with a similar lack of interest in having a wife who would value her as a platonic and possibly often absent companion to his future life.


Whatever she ended up doing with the life unexpectedly returned back into her control by the lack of magic in England, I imagine her writing a letter to Belatiel and throwing it back into the rift. A message in a bottle that she never really expected to find its way home. But it does, and, already battle weary from catching up on the work of generations of neglectful Abhorsens, Belatiel decides to follow her to this delightfully peaceful new land where he is of course promptly enchanted by her newest friend. And after realizing too late what she had lost by the end of Clariel, I suspect Clariel would greatly enjoy having him there, just as she had been before then enjoying the (very few and selectively chosen) company of some of her new friends and family and some of their strange new social rituals. She might even, though she would never be prevailed upon to admit it under any circumstance, learn to enjoy a spot of tea here and there.

Edited by shopfront

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Well, there's about a half an hour left, and I have an idea.


The concept is that in _Firefly_, instead of Shepherd Book, we have Mr. Collins. He will go on about useless information and Lady Catherine De Bourgh. I haven't decided what Mal will end up doing with him…


Now to see how much I can write under pressure:


On a sunny day, the bazaar at the Eavesdown Docks is abustle. An older man is selling fried dog meat, but this does not interest the unusual man who is passing through. He wears a black suit and a wide-brimmed hat. He seems not to approve of the general uncleanliness, but looks at the ships that are offering passage off of this world.


A man calls out to him, "You going on a trip, grandpa? Need safe passage? We're cheap. We're clean." He points at his ship, "The Brutus, the best ship in the 'verse. What's your des, grandpa? We're hitting the outer rings."


"My dear sir, you do seem to be under a false impression. While I am very happily married to my dear wife, Charlotte, we do not, in fact have any children as of yet. Indeed, the Lady Catherine De Bourgh has shown me great condescension in suggesting that it would be quite proper to have a child as a priest, but I have not yet taken her sage advice."




"I am in fact, not a grandpa, but your ship does seem to be a fine one, certainly not so fine as those that land at Rosings Park."


"Gramps, forget about my ship. Get out of here."


Not in the least discouraged, Mr. Collins continued on his way through the bazaar. He came upon a lovely young lady sitting on a lawn chair in front of an older ship, the Serenity. The girl had a rainbow-striped parasol and seemed extremely joyful. As he moved to continue past, the girl spoke, "You're gonna come with us."


"Excuse me?"


"You like ships. You don't seem to be looking at the destinations. What you care about is the ships, and mine's the nicest."


Stopping to examine the ship, "I assure you, young madam, this ship cannot compare to the very fine ships that Lady Catherine has condescended to allow me the privilege of flying in."


The girl, Kaylee, responded, "Well, she'll fool ya'. You ever sail in a Firefly?"


"Many years ago, before I had the pleasure to meet the Lady Catherine, I did indeed fly on a Firefly, though I must admit that it wasn't an Aught Three, which meant that it tended to shake. However, I see that this model has extenders. Lady Catherine De Bourgh installed extenders into her ship at Rosings, and I must say, it gave a very smooth ride indeed. Of course, your extenders cannot compare to the very fine extenders that Lady Catherine installed, but you cannot be expected to. These are extremely fine extenders for the common folk."


Kaylee was a bit taken aback by the priests comments, but she was still determined to get a passenger. "So, uh, how come you don't care where you're going?"


"Because, as the Lady Catherine often says, how you get there is the worthier part."


"Are you a missionary?"


"I am indeed of the clergy, but I have a parish adjoining Rosings Park. Lady Catherine often invites me to dinner even three times a week! My name is Mr. Collins."


"And I'm Kaylee. This is Serenity, and she's the smoothest ride from here to Boros for anyone who can pay." She pauses, a bit concerned. "Can you pay, or…?"


"Surely you jest. The Lady Catherine, my sponsor, is one of the most august figures in the 'verse. Of course with her age, she prefers to remain at Rosings, thus depriving the Alliance at Ariel of her presence, but I assure you, that is the Alliance's loss."


Soon the crew and the new passengers gathered in the ship's dining area, as the Captain, Malcolm Reynolds began to show them around.


Captain Reynolds explained that the next meal would be at 1800.


Kaylee added, "I think Mr. Collins has offered to help me prepare something. He's a priest."


"A priest?"


"I would have thought that my attire would identify me, but perhaps you are not aware of the raiment of the Church of England. I am sure this is not a problem for you, fine sir…"


Kaylee broke in, "Of course not. It's not problem, 'cause it's not." Here she looked pointedly toward the captain, who acquiesced.


At this moment, a shuttle docked with the Serenity, and the captain commented, "Ah, the Ambassador graces us with her presence."


Inara, a bona-fide companion enters the room. "Hello, Mal. I see we have some new faces. I'd have to say this is the first time we've had a preacher on board."


"Well, I wasn't expecting to see a state official, either." Here he paused to make an elaborate bow and to kiss her hand. "Ambassador. Do you feel, as does my patron, the Lady Catherine De Bourgh, that the taxation rate on the outer planets is entirely inappropriately high?" Mal broke out in laughter, while Inara glowered at him. "Am I missing a joke? I do believe that it is appropriate for the clergy to join in with jesting and games. It is an innocent affectation."


"Ambassador," said Inara, "is Mal's way of –"


"She's a censorkip.gif*, preacher man," said the captain, bluntly.


Mr. Collins was quite surprised. Kaylee corrected the Captain, "The term is 'Companion'."


"I see, a companion, well, the Lady Catherine De Bourgh does not approve of such pursuits. She feels that an accomplished woman should be able to find a husband and should not go flitting from man to man."


"You know what, Preacher-man," said the Captain. "I think it'd be just shiny if you left my ship right now."


Shortly thereafter, Mr. Collins sat in the middle of a desert alone on an unknown moon. He called after the ship, "I assure you, Lady Catherine will not approve of this. She was just telling me…"






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It's 1 PM cave time, so the contest is closed! I'll be reading all of these for a while, and then post the winner/runner up!


EDIT: OMG these are so great!


EDIT #2:



Winner is: shopfront.


I never even thought about how exactly an "egg" from Miss Elizabeth x Belatiel may have come about ... that was just the mate I happened to breed this week. (It was that or mutamore, since they were the most recent holidays, and I figured that would make the prize easier to continue.) Kudos for a nicely thought out summary, and for doing a very, very relevant crossover!


Runner up #1: Yunako


The idea of a Satan pony trapped in the wholesome pony world is just too wonderful. I want a doll (er, action figure). And maybe a musical number.


By the way, full disclosure: I have not seen either Supernatural or the new My Little Pony cartoons (seen the old ones and the documentary, though), but you still made the story accessible and incredibly funny despite my deficiencies. And yeah, I know I need to watch Supernatural.


Runner up #2: mpolo


Congrats for the absolute last minute post! And also, even before I read the first line of the story, I said "Punch him!" out loud, so even the bare-bones premise got me going.




Shopfront, I will PM you, and we can arrange the transfer.


mpolo and Yunako, I added a second runner up because I couldn't decide between your stories. It was too hard. I'll probably glomp you both with either a 2g prizekin or 3g prize at some unknown point in the future. If shopfront is unable to accept the prize, I will roll a die to see who gets the transfer link first. (mpolo can be odds, Yunako can be even. Or whatever.)

Thanks, everyone, this was a ton of fun to read, and I'd love to do it again! If anyone has suggestions to make the contest better, please add your suggestions on this thread and I'll keep them in mind for next time!


I'd especially like:


- Suggestions on how to make more "neutral" writing contests. I tried to not to respond more strongly to the fandoms I am familiar with, but it was hard.


- Suggestions on making a submission format/header/etc so I can more easily view submissions vs. questions/chat?


- Anything else?


(As I finished writing this, I see mpolo's suggestion for a countdown- awesome idea!)

Edited by toyofubl

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By the way, thanks for the contest. It might be useful in the future to put a link to a countdown timer, like http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/create , so that it's easier to see exactly when the deadline is. Just a suggestion.



Additional ideas:


Obviously you want to keep these contests accessible, but I don't think that that means that they all have to be free-for-alls without having your own theme. I won my first CB gold from a "Welcome to the Night Vale" creative writing contest without having ever even heard of the series. Of course it meant that I had to listen to a podcast and get the gist of the series, but that also added to the fun. That said, "Pride and Prejudice" might take too long for somebody to read to enter.


You could have themes relating to current "real world" holidays (Fourth of July, Queen's Birthday, etc.)


And thank you for your kind words for my effort.

Edited by mpolo

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Congratulations to the winners! biggrin.gif It's been very fun to read all the different stories smile.gif

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Congratulations all! I enjoyed reading the stories biggrin.gif


About making submissions more noticeable: you could make a 'submission form' in the first post, something like this:


[SIZE=14][COLOR=blue]Here is my submission![/color][/size]
[b]Title:[/b] (What's the name of your story?)
[b]Story:[/b] (Please put your story here!)


then you'd get..


Here is my submission!

Title: Cool Title

Story: Very cool story!


which is pretty noticeable? smile.gif You could also replace the 'Here is my submission!' with a custom made graphic. biggrin.gif

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mpolo, Cinspawn, those are great ideas! Will definitely do both next time smile.gif

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My only suggestion would have to be maybe make a contest for original fiction only. NO characters from TV shows/books allowed. Shared names would be okay, as long as they weren't the same people.


I have not read Pride and Prejudice, but if I had, I would probably have came up with a story even more funny than Lucifer prancing around with pastel ponies. I have a few interesting original stories that I've written while messing around in school after finishing a test, homework, etc and I'd love a contest to see whether or not they're any good. I'm glad my Satan-pony story was well-received. As for a doll, I don't have one of those, but I DO have a picture of Pony-Satan that I made. I should have posted a link to that with the story, so everyone could have seen what Lucifer saw when he looked at his own body. The fluffy pink hair, red fur, sunny Cutie Mark, and wide puppy dog eyes. laugh.gif

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Congrats to the winners! This was a fun contest! biggrin.gif

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As for a doll, I don't have one of those, but I DO have a picture of Pony-Satan that I made. I should have posted a link to that with the story, so everyone could have seen what Lucifer saw when he looked at his own body. The fluffy pink hair, red fur, sunny Cutie Mark, and wide puppy dog eyes. laugh.gif

Maybe next time I can open it up to fanart as well? That would have been so neat.

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Thank you so much again Toyo! And congrats to everyone on creating such lovely ideas and fics, it was super fun to participate in a melding of three of my favourite things - group fanwork challenges, fandom, and dragcave - largely because of you and all your creativity.


I just said to Toyo via PM that I plan to write up a proper fic in my little crossover 'verse, I don't know when I'll be able to finish and post it because I'm mid-preparations for an international move right now but if this thread is closed in the meantime and you're interested in reading a P&P/Old Kingdom fic feel free to PM me anytime and I will happily send a link when it's done.


As far as ideas for future challenges Toyo, perhaps you might like to provide a list of your other fandoms next time? That might increase the chances in someone sharing a fandom with you that they can create for. Oh and (assuming you don't mind the differences between movie/tv verse and book verse of course) perhaps also remind people that if they don't have time to read a book in four days they could perhaps watch one of the many P&P adaptions instead much like mpolo mentioned listening to podcasts for another contest. A movie or short tv series might be much more possible for some people in the short timeframe, and people not already interested in Austen might not realise there's so many adaptions floating around.

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As to making a list of fandoms:


I could probably list a bunch of the fandoms I know best, but there are so many things that I've seen or heard of slightly in passing, that I'm not sure that would do anything but create unnecessary limitations.


For example, I would probably understand (I use this word ... um ... loosely) a Digimon/Three's Company/Predator triple crossover set in an alternate universe of High School Musical that takes place on the dark side of the moon, but I wouldn't ever list any of these as my fandoms. I have not really watched anything from these franchises, but my general knowledge covers enough to get it.


... now that I've written that scenario, I kind of want to read that, but it is probably for the best if it never exists smile.gif

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Congrats to the winners! Toyo, thanks for the prompt for me to write at all. Its been too long. Now I want to write more laugh.gif

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2nd prize contest now open! I hope to read some neat things this week smile.gif




Edit: posting my examples from past contests here, because I'm clearing the first post for new rules (yippee)!




Here is my submission!

Author: Toyofubl

Fandom(s): Firefly

My story:


Malcolm Reynolds yanks the battered old hat down around his ears. "Hello, Hat, I aim to misbehave."


Slytherin, Mal thinks with a grin, his mind racing with half-formed plots for heists and intrigue and theft. Zoe can be his first mate, 'cause she hits harder than him, but he'll be the mastermind, and it'll be a lot of hard work, but-






Here is my submission!

Author: Toyofubl

Fandom(s): Firefly

My story:


A year later, Mal waves at her from the Hufflepuff table as the hat is lowered onto her head. Zoe grinds her teeth. Why did he have to be a damn Puff? This is what happens when I'm not here to keep an eye on him. I should set you on fire, she thinks. On fire.


"Uh ... Hufflepuff," the Hat says, intimidated.


Washburne, Hoban, squeezes himself onto the bench next to her, and makes a drippy mustache out of mashed potatoes. It was all Mal's fault.


Here is my submission!

Author: Toyofubl

Fandom(s): Firefly

My story:


You're actually a Ravenclaw, you know.


Simon, eleven years old and with his dreams of becoming a doctor already shattered at his feet, keeps his mouth shut. I must keep her safe, he thinks to the hat. I know what I need to do - to become - to make that possible.


In Simon's mind, the Hat sees a metal trunk with a tiny girl hidden inside, dosed with healing and sleeping potions, and the brother who broke into the Department of Mysteries to rescue her.


A feat worthy of any Gryffindor, and as loyal as any Hufflepuff but ... "Better be Slytherin!"


Here is my submission!

Author: Toyofubl

Fandom(s): Firefly

My story:


"Headmaster, with all due respect ... "


"Yes, Severus?" Albus Dumbledore pauses with his arm outstretched, an infuriatingly mild expression on his face. The Sorting Hat hovers inches above the older man's curly gray hair, its leathery mouth half-opened to declare a house.


"With all due respect, Derrial Book is not qualified to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts."


"He has excellent credentials, and Shepherd Book-"


Snape and the Hat speak in tandem. "That ain't a Shepherd."



Here is my submission!

Author: Toyofubl

Fandom(s): Firefly

My story:


"Oh, I didn't go to Hogwarts, so I don't know nothing about any sorting," Kaylee said cheerfully, a smudge of dirt on her nose. "Is it true you gotta wrestle a troll?"


(Um, I can't stop writing Firefly sortings. Sorry in advance. I started with one example. Then two. Now four. Now a fifth.)



Miss Elizabeth Bennet had just completed her pre-flight inspection when fellow rebels Bingley and Darcy wandered past her battered but beloved x-wing.


"Come, Darcy," said Bingley, "I must have you fly. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better fly."


"I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such a base as this, it would be insupportable. Your companions are engaged, and there is not another in the hanger whom it would not be a punishment for me to fly with."


"I would not be so fastidious as you are," cried Bingley, "for a star system! Upon my honor, I never met with so many pleasant people and quality planes in my life as I have this evening, and there are several of them you see uncommonly pretty."


"You are working with the only handsome girl in the room, and the only decent plane," said Mr. Darcy, looking at the eldest Miss Bennet, the stunning blonde who was performing maintenance on Bingley's x-wing.


"Oh! She is the most beautiful mechanic I ever beheld! But there is an available plane and assistant parked just behind you, which are both very pretty, and I dare say, very agreeable. Do let me ask my mechanic to introduce you."


"Which do you mean?" and turning round, he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, still perched in her cockpit, till catching her eye and inspecting the scuffed exterior of the plane, he withdrew his own and coldly said, "She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me, and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to those who are slighted by other pilots. You had better return to your mechanic and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me."


Mr. Bingley followed his advice.  Mr. Darcy walked off past her x-wing, and Elizabeth remained with no very cordial feelings towards him. Once he was out of sight, she activated the exit program, and the magnetic mechanism lowered her the long distance to the hanger floor.


"Insufferable man," she beeped to herself, as she rolled toward the other side of the hanger to wait with the other droids.


Here is my submission!

Author: Toyofubl

Fandom(s): Transformers, Harry Potter

Character 1: Optimus Prime: super huge robot

Character 2: Lucius Malfoy: married wizard, wealthy snob, former Death Eater.

Title: Should Have Swiped Left

My story:


Lucius Malfoy sat stiffly in the posh Paris cafe. He regretted that the delicate cast iron table would not allow him to hold his wand drawn on his lap- that is, without being seen by muggles. Or the gigantic, terrifying robot perched on the seat across from him.


"So ... Mr. Prime, what do you do? For work?"


When - if - he made it home, Lucius was deleting his Tinder account, and Avada Kedavra-ing his mobile phone.


Here is my submission!

Author: Toyofubl

Fandom(s): Leverage, To Kill A Mockingbird (...why not.)

Character 1: Sophie Devereaux: former criminal/current vigilante, Leverage's gorgeous grifter

Character 2: Atticus Finch: widowed small-town lawyer, and not usually a drinker

Title: Sometimes Bad Guys Make the Best Good Guys

My story: Um, this is kind of a date.


Fifteen days after the trial, the train that ran through Maycomb, Alabama inexplicably stalled. Most passengers chose to hitch a ride to the nearest station, but five decided to wait in the sleepy, tired town.


Atticus wasn't quite sure how he ended up playing host to Miss Sophie Devereaux, but the charming woman and her large collection of expensive hats had ended up in the spare bedroom. Alexandra was rather put out, and went to bed early with a headache.


"Mr. Finch, tell me about your profession," Miss Devereaux purred, and the staid widower was surprised to find himself blushing. Half a bottle of scotch later (and several pieces of Miss Maudie's cake), Atticus had poured out his soul at the worn kitchen table, drunkenly kissed Miss Devereaux, and passed out fully dressed on his bed.


Miss Devereaux smiled, took a moment to touch up her lipstick, and then the Leverage crew got down to business.


Sixteen days after the trial, Tom Robinson escaped from prison. The train suddenly repaired itself and left that very afternoon, with Miss Devereaux blowing a big wet kiss from the window of the passenger car. Atticus, hung over and slightly confused, waved back, and the town gossips had yet another item of interest.


(Also, Scout and Jem - and Aunt Alexandra, though she would never admit it - were secretly impressed with their father. He was still old and didn't play football, but he was a good shot and ... well, Miss Devereaux had been a mighty fine lookin' lady.)


(Also, Bob Ewell was found brutally beaten outside the courthouse, with a signed confession pinned to his shirt.)

Edited by toyofubl

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Here is my submission!

Author: Littleironhorse

Fandom(s): Dexter

My story:


“This is it!” Dexter thinks, “I’ll surely be found out!” Dexter doesn’t know whether to be terrified or relieved. Whatever happens now, at least it will finally be over.

“Hufflepuff!” shouts the hat.

And in a softer voice, for Dexter’s ears only “Your work is not over yet…”


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