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How did you decide your career? I'm literally having an existential crisis about this at the moment. I like the idea of many different careers but had already decided on one: economics and had already been accepted to a top university in my country. Due to life's circumstances I'm not going there anymore (got a last minute notice from my parents on this). I could keep my decision of studying econ, but the universities I have access to now don't have a very respectable level when it comes to teaching this career. I've considered professions that differ greatly from each other, like medicine and the law. I really prioritize dedicating myself to something that will be able to support me financially as well as something that I can learn from a school with a reputable level. I really don't have a "passion" for any career in particular, I base myself around what will satisfy my needs the most in the future. I really hate the idea of closing myself off to a single career, but alas it's what is to be done. I am also very talented in the arts and humanities but I am realistic in knowing that a degree in such areas will not allow me to support myself economically in the future. At least not where I live in. I also would like something that I excel at, but sometimes it is impossible to know until you've tried. And once you select a career and actually try, it might be too late to turn back and change career paths. For me, this scenario would be less than ideal. I just know to steer away from certain careers that revolve around subjects (physics and technical drawing) that are rather tough/unenjoyable for me such as engineering and architecture.

 

TLDR; What factors did you take into account when making this decision (career)?

Edited by andromedae

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@andromedae: Well, I chose the path I like the most. I have been curious with how the world works and so, went to the sciences. I picked Chemistry because it is the most fitting for me. Physics is extremely heavy on mathematics; and biology is about living things, and I am not good nor comfy with handling that. It turns out that I did not pass to the course of Chemistry and had to shifted to a course that did not require honours programme (top fifteen percent of the College entrance exam), which is a mix of Business and Chemistry. tongue.gif Turns out I like the combination. Sure, it was difficult, but I persevered, knowing that this is what I want. Anyway, since the Philippines is a third-world country, business is the only way to go (as so my dad would say), but that is another argument for a different story.

 

Anyway, my real passion is learning and anything related to the intellect, and so, now I'm into teaching. I'm still looking for a position to teach chemistry, but for now, I'm into Basic Chinese.

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@andromedae: Well, I chose the path I like the most. I have been curious with how the world works and so, went to the sciences. I picked Chemistry because it is the most fitting for me. Physics is extremely heavy on mathematics; and biology is about living things, and I am not good nor comfy with handling that. It turns out that I did not pass to the course of Chemistry and had to shifted to a course that did not require honours programme (top fifteen percent of the College entrance exam), which is a mix of Business and Chemistry. tongue.gif Turns out I like the combination. Sure, it was difficult, but I persevered, knowing that this is what I want. Anyway, since the Philippines is a third-world country, business is the only way to go (as so my dad would say), but that is another argument for a different story.

 

Anyway, my real passion is learning and anything related to the intellect, and so, now I'm into teaching. I'm still looking for a position to teach chemistry, but for now, I'm into Basic Chinese.

Thanks for the input! I would most definitely love going for my passion, if I had one in particular. I simply hate the concept of having to choose a single career for the rest of my life. I'd love it if I could do many careers at once, which is possible, but I'm afraid I'd lose plenty of time and money if I chose to do so. I want to be expansive, become involved in any different areas of knowledge throughout my life. I think I've got to really take the time to reflect upon this, but I really feel like I've hit some sort of brick wall. I feel unable to decide because I have no strong inclinations.

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smile.gif Doing many careers is more than possible! Of course, having too many or having three major careers can be tiring. Having two to three part-time jobs, on the other hand, can be both fulfilling and energising. Take for instance, while I teach basic Chinese as part-time in the morning, I can do other things for the rest of the day.

 

It actually depends on a person's interests and energy.

 

biggrin.gif And, I am really glad that I can and have helped!

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smile.gif Doing many careers is more than possible! Of course, having too many or having three major careers can be tiring. Having two to three part-time jobs, on the other hand, can be both fulfilling and energising. Take for instance, while I teach basic Chinese as part-time in the morning, I can do other things for the rest of the day.

 

It actually depends on a person's interests and energy.

 

biggrin.gif And, I am really glad that I can and have helped!

You're right. I just have to try a bit of everything I think. I hate the fact that we get so relatively little time to choose where we want to go and what to do with our lives. Every life has endless possibilities unfolded before it, and I only find it so tough to have to choose. I've got to organize myself, as you might have noticed I'm all over the place rolleyes.gif

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Thanks for the input! I would most definitely love going for my passion, if I had one in particular. I simply hate the concept of having to choose a single career for the rest of my life. I'd love it if I could do many careers at once, which is possible, but I'm afraid I'd lose plenty of time and money if I chose to do so. I want to be expansive, become involved in any different areas of knowledge throughout my life. I think I've got to really take the time to reflect upon this, but I really feel like I've hit some sort of brick wall. I feel unable to decide because I have no strong inclinations.

In today's world, it's very usual to have more than one career, so you don't have to worry about being "stuck" in something you don't like! Nowadays it's quite rare to get a job and then just DO it for the rest of your life, because everything is very unpredictable. That's why it's also totally okay to just quit if you don't like the job or education that you don't feel like is your own!

 

About my own career-choice: I'm currently studying to become an expert in health sciences, meaning I'll probably get a job as a scientist, in different projects or organizations as a health care professional (no practical work, mostly academic). I chose this field a bit by accident, I was originally applying for sports sciences, but I didn't get accepted, so I took this as a back-up. I grew to like health sciences, especially epidemiology! I guess my advice is just don't be afraid to try different things, you'll never know what you'll end up liking!

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How did you decide your career?

It was fun.

 

Seriously, that's all there is to it. Find a job that, when you wake up to go to it, you can stand the thought of doing. Yes, we can all be tired and have a CBA day and that's fine. But if you don't want to go to work because you hate what you do, then find something else to try your hand at.

 

It took me ten years to find a job I enjoyed, so don't worry if you're sitting there at twenty and not sure what to do. Some people chop and change a lot before they finally decide. It's actually normal to not know what you want to do, no matter what they tell you at job advice workshops. And the whole idea that as a teenager you should know your entire career path is utter horse-dung.

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While on the topic of career advice...

 

What do you do if there isn't any career idea out there you enjoy and/or am incapable of?

 

In highschool I was forced early to choose a career and I ended up picking Graphic Design because art was my thing and i'd thought i'd like it. I went to college for 3 years for it and during my time there I realized something...I actually dislike Graphic Design. I dislike art as a career in general. Long story short, it felt like a stressful unfulfilling chore to me. I was bored and unhappy with it. I realized then I liked art more as a hobby so after I finished my degrees, I stopped.

 

I got a lot of backlash for that but it didnt matter because I told myself i'd find something i'd like to do as a career and pursue that instead. Which....made me realize something else

 

There ISNT anything i'd like to do as a career

 

I love video games but anything in that field is gonna feel like what graphic design is to me so nah. I love animals/nature but science is beyond my comprehension and I cant do anything with animals without some math and science under my belt so nah. I've tried a wide variety of different things to see if I would like and while I did like some of them, there is nothing i'd like to do as a career

 

Has anyone else been in this situation before? I've been pretty much 'out of time' according to pretty much everyone in my life to choose something right now but there isnt anything I can find/do and I dont want to make the same mistake as I did before and waste a lot of time and money pursuing something I dont enjoy at all.

Edited by aerolyx

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Just a quick question here:

 

I've got a good friend who lives in a different town to me. She has a baby girl, and has told me she doesn't have the time or money to eat properly. I'm going to send food to her because she is quite underweight, and I want to make sure she doesn't starve. She doesn't have a freezer, and has only a tiny fridge. Any suggestions for types of food I can send to her? Preferably they'd be stuff you can store in the pantry, and quick to prepare/no prep needed.

 

Thanks smile.gif

 

EDIT: Thanks for all the advice, got a few of these things today + instant rice meals etc. and sent them along, so hopefully she can eat decently for a little while smile.gif

Edited by azaria

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Any suggestions for types of food I can send to her? Preferably they'd be stuff you can store in the pantry, and quick to prepare/no prep needed.

Some ideas:

 

- dried fruit and nuts

- tuna and other things in cans (corn, beans) that can be eaten as a salad without cooking

- instant noodles (not the healthiest thing, but still helps against starving)

- cereal bars

- crisp bread (and something to put on it, Nutella perhaps?)

- meal replacement bars (for people who want to lose weight - but when she eats them instead of eating nothing, they can also serve the opposite purpose, plus they usually have vitamins in them)

 

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Some ideas:

 

- dried fruit and nuts

- tuna and other things in cans (corn, beans) that can be eaten as a salad without cooking

- instant noodles (not the healthiest thing, but still helps against starving)

- cereal bars

- crisp bread (and something to put on it, Nutella perhaps?)

- meal replacement bars (for people who want to lose weight - but when she eats them instead of eating nothing, they can also serve the opposite purpose, plus they usually have vitamins in them)

Also peanut butter.

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Protein shakes too! I had a problem with my orthodontics once and long story short I couldn't open my mouth very wide and couldn't chew very well. A lot of my diet had consisted of protein shakes.

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So, I'm struggling to finish anything that isn't mandatory or made for somebody else. I've abandoned a lot of drawings, ideas for stories, even programming projects this way (which is a huge passion of mine). I love working on creative things, but I never seem to finish anything that's for my own enjoyment. I've tried to take it slow but then procrastination kicks in, crunch seemed to help me draw more but I don't have the time for it. I don't want to make it something like a chore either because I'm afraid it'll make me hate things I have a passion for.

 

So, what else can I do? If anybody's ever been in my shoes, what helped you? I've heard something like "make sure to work on it every single day, even the smallest progress is progress", but I've yet to try that...

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Hey, teenage kid, did it ever occur to you that the reason your parents may not be cool with your current love interest, is maybe they see in this person someone they had probs with in their own youth?

 

Believe it or not, your parents were just like you once, high school/college, parties, and knew a great many different people. Saw and did a lot of things you'd never believe them to. And learned from it.

 

Maybe at one time, they had a significant other (before your other parent of course) who treated them/acted like your new interest does?

 

Maybe they see what's coming cause they went thru it??

 

Maybe you should listen to them about it?

 

Maybe they aren't trying to make you miserable, but trying to SAVE you??

 

You think??

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So, I'm struggling to finish anything that isn't mandatory or made for somebody else. I've abandoned a lot of drawings, ideas for stories, even programming projects this way (which is a huge passion of mine). I love working on creative things, but I never seem to finish anything that's for my own enjoyment. I've tried to take it slow but then procrastination kicks in, crunch seemed to help me draw more but I don't have the time for it. I don't want to make it something like a chore either because I'm afraid it'll make me hate things I have a passion for.

 

So, what else can I do? If anybody's ever been in my shoes, what helped you? I've heard something like "make sure to work on it every single day, even the smallest progress is progress", but I've yet to try that...

Yes, try- no, do one little task at a time. Make slow progress. I find that it works. It worked on helping me finish homeworks, or paintings and poems for my own pleasure. I currently finished an epic poem last November called Poseidon and Miyano Ran. However, I did not write all of that it one sitting. I started as early as August 2016. And slowly progressed one line after another. Anyway, I must admit that I have fallen into pools of laziness and it will be difficult to start. It is always difficult to start that first step! You either have to be inspired. And inspiration never comes easily. So curse that inspiration. tongue.gif Scrap it! *chuckles* What will help you is discipline. Discipline to begin that first step and to always add another, and another.

 

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Apologies, Riverwillows, dear. I would want to offer advice, but I do not exactly understand what is going on. huh.gif

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I remember why I went here. I was going to ask for advice myself. I understand that the Dragon Cave community is very tolerant and welcoming to people with different gender orientation. I identify myself as a bisexual male, and have been receiving messages of dislike from people who have phobia for people with different gender orientation. What do I do to make them stop the hatred and understand and respect, not just me, but those others with the same issue?

 

We need more understand instead of hatred in this community and this world.

 

I would also like to ask for advice for a female friend I have who I haven't kept in touch physically for three years hence. However, Facebook is so kind enough to create a platform to let friends keep in touch. So I see her posts of course. I am suspecting that she has been going through depression and partially because medical school is hell (everyone knows that! It is extremely difficult. tongue.gif Don't try to contradict me and say otherwise!). I have a strong desire to pop into her house and surprise her with ballons. Cheer her up and celebrate tea day. Ideally Party With Your Bear Day (even if it isn't November 16). Nota bene: I do not know her address. I do not know even if it as a good thing for now. She might need counseling for all we know.

 

So summary. Two things. One on gender orientation. And two, depression (allegedly).

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Please help.

 

I'm having a ridiculous amount of anxiety over how my roommate surprised me with this thing I really wanted. I know it's easily over 100$ but all I'm thinking is "what did I do to deserve this" because imo I've been a less than stellar human being in the past four months we've known each other.

 

I'm probably never going to see her again after Friday because I'm moving back to school, but I was thinking on rushing to the mall and picking up something that she would like ( like a nice pair of earrings), of about equal value even though money is a little short at the moment. But then what if she doesn't like it? What if the money I spend could have been more efficiently used?

 

I feel like I should be more grateful than I am (I was going to get this thing myself a when I get my next paycheck, in a different color), and this gift giving has turned my otherwise relaxed week totally upside down.

 

Hmm. Maybe this should have been in emotional support? How do I deal with the pressure of "matching" other people's gifts this holiday season?

Edited by TehUltimateMage

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I understand your plight, and you are very sweet and thoughtful to think of your roommate. However, this might cause some anxiety over you. You should love you as well.

 

Well, see... that's what I dislike in the concept of gift-giving which is very prominent during Christmas. This notion is similar to the German philosopher Jürgen Havermas' principle on intersubjectivity. His principle is reciprocity (i.e. I recognised you as an individual, and you recognise me as an individual. There is a mutual recognition, a mutual understanding, a mutual reciprocation in both parties)

 

Anyway, the philosopher Iris Young, who is a follower of Habermas, had revised intersubjectivity, in her essay "Asymmetrical Reciprocity". In her essay, there is a section on Gift Giving. ( laugh.gif Section Five, I think. Should get my philosophy reading out) Instead of Symmetrical, she proposes Asymmetrical Reciprocity. Each gift is an opening, and not to be closed by reciprocating the gift with the same approximate value.

 

Example: In symmetrical

If Andrea gives George a gift worth £10, George would CLOSE the relationship with a gift worth approximately the same (approx. £10). This is assuming he knows the gift is worth 10 pounds.

 

In assymetrical

If Andrea gives George a jar of honey for his sandwich, he accepts it. He does not go and get her something in return. He thanks her for her kindness. The next time they see each other, George sees Andrea having a problem with her refrigerator. He offers to help and fixed it for her. His service is not worth a jar of honey, if we are talking monetary terms.

 

In asymmetrical, both parties accept the gift without thinking of its value (in monetary terms) but rather an opening, an invitation, to the relationship (e.g. friendship). And I think that is beautiful!

 

tongue.gif I tend to share this philosophy this Christmas season. Thank you for enduring the long post!

 

Amendment: *pleads to my professor* Ma'am, correct if I made a blunder. I really love Iris Young and want her message to be delivered clearly. ^^;

Edited by georgexu94

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Hey, teenage kid, did it ever occur to you that the reason your parents may not be cool with your current love interest, is maybe they see in this person someone they had probs with in their own youth?

 

Believe it or not, your parents were just like you once, high school/college, parties, and knew a great many different people. Saw and did a lot of things you'd never believe them to. And learned from it.

 

Maybe at one time, they had a significant other (before your other parent of course) who treated them/acted like your new interest does?

 

Maybe they see what's coming cause they went thru it??

 

Maybe you should listen to them about it?

 

Maybe they aren't trying to make you miserable, but trying to SAVE you??

 

You think??

Hi Mom.

 

Out of interest, when you were a teenager, did you listen to your parents? Did you take every bit of their advice? And most importantly - how often was it that they saw you going to make a mistake but let you make it anyway, so that you could learn from it yourself?

 

I get how frustrating it can be to watch others make the same mistakes you made, especially for someone you care about, because we don't want to see them hurt or harmed. I'm a big brother and although I don't have kids of my own, I have a younger sister who I look out for. And she has made some fantastic errors in her time, some more impressive than my own. But there are the other ones that she made that I saw coming and sometimes even warned her about, but otherwise that I let her make anyway. Why? So she can learn for next time round. The same with my partner, who is a few years younger than me and is now starting university, away from home, for the first time. Now I'm about to do my fourth university course so I am well aware of all the pitfalls ahead and I've helped and warned her about the bigger and more damaging ones, but at the same time she has to fight her own battles to learn from her successes and - sometimes more importantly - her failures.

 

Consider what you are doing - you are trying to pass on a lesson than you learned over thirty years ago. That's how important that lesson is - thirty years later you still remember it. And would you have remembered or even learned that lesson if your parents had scared you away from the situation to begin with? Or if they had, would you have just made that error a few years later when you had left home? If it's that important a lesson then sometimes it is a lesson they have to live and learn themselves.

 

Now, I don't know the specifics of your situation at all. I don't know how much potential or actual harm will befall Teenage Kid. I certainly am not saying that *every* lesson needs to be learned the hard way, especially the lessons where significant harm will befall them. What I am saying is that sometimes you really do have to let people get hurt for themselves in order to learn how to avoid it next time.

 

I had some crap relationships. I've planned two weddings, neither of which ever actually occurred. My little sister has been formally engaged twice, and I saw the train-wreck of one approaching from miles away while the other was a 50/50 bet. And it turns out that my mum actually got engaged when she was a teenager too - and still let us both go through with our heartaches and mistakes. Oh, she did give a token warning - a wry look, that piercing question, a knowing smile now and again - but she let us make those mistakes. As a result? I'm going to make sure my current partner and I work and live together, properly, before I start making big white wedding plans. My sister has finally started taking it slowly with her constant stream of boyfriends and is finally starting to put her own daughter first. And my mum? She learned her lesson, and in April will celebrate her thirtieth wedding anniversary to my dad.

 

So by all means protect them from the worst of life, but other times? Let them make the mistake, and be there to support them at the end.

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Just a quick question here:

 

I've got a good friend who lives in a different town to me. She has a baby girl, and has told me she doesn't have the time or money to eat properly. I'm going to send food to her because she is quite underweight, and I want to make sure she doesn't starve. She doesn't have a freezer, and has only a tiny fridge. Any suggestions for types of food I can send to her? Preferably they'd be stuff you can store in the pantry, and quick to prepare/no prep needed.

 

Thanks smile.gif

 

EDIT: Thanks for all the advice, got a few of these things today + instant rice meals etc. and sent them along, so hopefully she can eat decently for a little while smile.gif

Potatoes. We ate a lot of potatoes as a kid for this very reason. There is actually a good amount of vitamin C in them if you eat the skins.

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Hi guys, am really desperately needing advice on future/careers stuff.

 

To make it as short as possible, I’ve hit a crossroad in terms of what to do next.

 

I’m currently getting towards the middle of my degree, but the nature of the profession I’m going into means that everyone is applying now for a job for 2018/2019 (when I graduate + another year of school).

 

My issue is that I really enjoy my degree and want to pursue a master’s before trying to go into a profession I love, but problem is that the masters is ridiculously expensive, the actual profession I want to get into is ridiculously competitive + requires additional year of school (on top of the masters) which would also cost a lot. The alternative is for me to sell out and go corporate, apply now for a job I won’t like as much but will be comfortable, but also makes it difficult for me to go into the job I want (childhood dream job lol).

 

I have very pragmatic parents, and whilst they want me to pursue my dreams and all that, I don’t think they can afford to pay for (nor do I really want them to shoulder the burden of) my uni fees. My professors have been really encouraging me to continue with the master’s but they don’t exactly know anything about my financial situation.

 

I don’t know what to do and I need to make decisions soon with regards to applications for stuff, so some advice would be really appreciated, please smile.gif

 

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Get a loan, do your Masters, and then go from there. Worked for me - mostly. I'm still paying off the debt and probably never will fully pay it off, but I eventually got to where I enjoy working.

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I hope this falls into this thread, if not, please tell me.

 

Anyway, there was a article on FB about how smacking your child don't help or teach them. I posted that I disagreed with that as I was raised this way and I have literally 0 desire to hurt anyone if I can help it. Well, someone said that I was broken because of this (I'm not). They went on to say because I don't want a husband and child, that's a "healthy opinion" of someone who is not broken.

 

So, my question is: am I broken simply because I find there is more to life than sex and children? I mean, is it wrong to see beyond that? I have never had a single boyfriend, the reason behind this I wont get into, but I don't seem to value my life if I have a boyfriend or not. I don't need one to survive, I don't need children to survive either.

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You aren't broken for not wanting sex/kids.

 

I've never been smacked, but I don't understand what the big deal is with having sex or children. At all. Children seem like an inconvenience for a parent, and sex has potential negative or financially draining consequences... yeah.

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You aren't broken for not wanting sex/kids.

 

I've never been smacked, but I don't understand what the big deal is with having sex or children. At all. Children seem like an inconvenience for a parent, and sex has potential negative or financially draining consequences... yeah.

I have been. I've had a belt or switch taken to my ass before. Nothing big but taught me at the same time. Dx

 

I don't want children one bit. I'm not asexual or anything but I see no need to have them. I am also not interested in a husband due to personal reasons to me. So, yeah. That was bothering the crap out of me the more I thought on it.

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