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The Unofficial Advice Thread

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Is it feasible for you to pay your father back in installments? A fifty now as a sign of good will, and either the next 50, or 100, or the entire remaining 150 the next month, depending on tight it is for you then? It might suffice to just say money's a bit tight at the time being, but you want to start paying it off regardless -- 2/3 of your salary is not an insignificant fraction, after all!

I talked about it with him and thats exactly what we're gonna do, thanks c:

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What would be your advice for improving drawing skills? I'm not too shabby myself, but I do find it easier to copy drawings someone already made (awful, I know), rather than creating art on my own. I need to work on lots of important skills that I rather lack, such as precision when it comes to anatomy or bodies themselves. And shading is something I struggle getting a hold of. I'm good a faces/necks but no more. Someone told me I should instead base my drawing skills on images from real life instead. What do you think?

 

Edit for spelling mistakes.

Edited by andromedae

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What would be your advice for improving drawing skills? I'm not too shabby myself, but I do find it easier to copy drawings someone already made (awful, I know), rather than creating art on my own. I need to work on lots of important skills that I rather lack, such as precision when it comes to anatomy or bodies themselves. And shading is something I struggle getting a hold of. I'm good a faces/necks but no more. Someone told me I should instead base my drawing skills on images from real life instead. What do you think?

 

Edit for spelling mistakes.

Study, practice, repeat. But, I can break it down into a few things.

 

Copying drawings is fine, but just like the difference between reading casually and reading actively for analysis, be intensely aware of how what you're copying was put together. If drawing off of another artist (which is perfectly fine for educational use as long as you don't claim it for your own) then figure out what you like about the piece and replicate how they did it. If drawing from a photograph, be aware of how light and shadow interact with textures, and not just the outline of the object (lines delineating objects don't actually exist in real life). There's no real easy way to learn shading. Just a lot of learning how light interacts with different materials.

 

Drawing is the illusion of a 3d representation of a 2d plane. Shading is a map of how things are shaped and through that it implies the 3rd dimension, which is why it's so hard to make it look correct the more realistic your image.

 

Experiment with different techniques and different media too! Instead of contour drawings, draw only the negative space, or draw something by just looking at the shadows. Do gesture drawings. If drawing from a photograph, turn it upside-down and draw it like that. Anything for your mind to stop drawing what you think you're looking at, vs. what you're actually looking at.

 

When studying, focus on that particular aspect and draw that a lot. See why some places are shaded, sharp, or soft. I have Bridgeman's Hundred Hands, and I once spent an entire afternoon copying from that to see how he represents the joints and the skin. Don't labor over one iteration, do many, many, many. No sketch is precious. If you need work on bodies, then just do torsos without heads. Don't be afraid to draw the same thing over and over, so long as you learn something each time.

 

Anatomy books help, but it's sometimes hard to make the leap from muscle diagrams to what you actually see. If you manage to find one for artists, then go ahead.

 

Take a sketchbook with you. Draw people sitting on the bus. Draw people walking past or standing in the park -- no details, no face, just the form. Don't need to make stuff up. When doing so, don't start with the head, but rather the feet or the torso. (Everyone always starts with the head when drawing people for whatever reason, but the torso is more important because that's where most of our mass is.)

 

In general, unless you're trying to learn someone's style or techniques, the best reference is the actual object (a live model or a statue, if you're drawing people). The second best is a photograph (and there are a lot of Stock Photo deviantarts and Figure Drawing tools with semi-nudes). Once you begin to get a hang of realism and form, then you can start simplifying and finding your own style.

 

If you want more advice or clarification, feel free to ask me.

Edited by TehUltimateMage

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Wow. Thank you so much Mage. I'm motivated now, I'll go grab a new sketchbook later on today when I go to the store biggrin.gif Indeed, practice makes perfect. I'll focus on the key points you've mentioned and do my best to stay constant, which is (usually) where I've failed when it comes to improving my art. But your post has been super helpful to me.

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Do gesture drawings.

 

....

 

Take a sketchbook with you. Draw people sitting on the bus. Draw people walking past or standing in the park -- no details, no face, just the form. Don't need to make stuff up. When doing so, don't start with the head, but rather the feet or the torso. (Everyone always starts with the head when drawing people for whatever reason, but the torso is more important because that's where most of our mass is.)

I'm just going to emphasize these parts that TehUltimateMage mentioned because I feel they've helped me the most personally. For gesture drawings, make sure you have a timer and to do them quick, getting all the important features. A great source for these is Line of Action.

 

I've heard from artists that just sitting down every day for 30 minutes to draw helps them improve dramatically. Try to make it a daily habit if you can.

 

TehUltimateMage mentioned anatomy books, but I'm going to advice that you also look for books and tutorials on techniques as well. Tuesday Tips by Griz and Norm is one of my personal favorites.

 

And lastly, don't be afraid to take an art class or attend a workshop. Seriously, if you can get in on some free classes or afford it, it is definitely worth it. There are even art courses you can take online where you can video chat with your instructor. A lot of professors and instructors are incredibly talented and have had years honing their skills. Having a mentor to teach you and give you feedback along with regular class sessions really helps.

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I'm just going to emphasize these parts that TehUltimateMage mentioned because I feel they've helped me the most personally. For gesture drawings, make sure you have a timer and to do them quick, getting all the important features. A great source for these is Line of Action.

 

I've heard from artists that just sitting down every day for 30 minutes to draw helps them improve dramatically. Try to make it a daily habit if you can.

 

TehUltimateMage mentioned anatomy books, but I'm going to advice that you also look for books and tutorials on techniques as well. Tuesday Tips by Griz and Norm is one of my personal favorites.

 

And lastly, don't be afraid to take an art class or attend a workshop. Seriously, if you can get in on some free classes or afford it, it is definitely worth it. There are even art courses you can take online where you can video chat with your instructor. A lot of professors and instructors are incredibly talented and have had years honing their skills. Having a mentor to teach you and give you feedback along with regular class sessions really helps.

Thank you! I'll definitely take note. My weakest point continues to be a generalized lack of consistency - but starting on 30 minutes day seems like a fair point for improvement. Drawing classes would be wonderful! I have contemplated them in the past as an option - I hope to be able to spend a bit on taking them in the near future.

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Not exactly sure, but I think I need a little advice before I go to my work tomorrow. So sadly, you guys get to be a sounding board for a little while. Hope you don't mind and forgive me if this gets touchy.

 

Monday, I was at work doing my job when one of my associates, who was off work approached me and gave me a hug. Normally, not a problem with hugs. It was the approach, the direction of the hug, and her timing that almost got her backhanded into a wall hard. I was able to not smack her, but she was all excited and pleased that she got me to "jump" in fear. (She would love to think of herself as a prankster of a sort.) I gritted my teeth and carried on with my duties, while she pranced her victory dance.

 

Now how she approached was from behind me, while there were customers gathered around me, and slid her hands and arms under mine almost like she was going in for a boob squeeze. I already noticed someone behind me and was getting ready to possibly defend myself, since the approach was not family, good friends or my spouse. (Yup, the warning bells were ringing loudly in my mind thank you.) Luckily for her, I spared a look behind me, and clamped down on the urge to backhand her hard into the wall behind both of us. (She squeezed herself between myself and the wall just to do this.) Instead, her hands and wrists got clamped down onto my ribs to prevent her from moving any further forward. And then she got all kinds of excited that she spooked me, like this was all a game. (Mild playing around does pass the work day, but trying hard to distract people from their work, might become harmful.)

 

Understand, I only associate with her at work. She would like to become friends with on Facebook, and possibly more, since she just recently cut her hair into my current style and dyed it between myself and my spouse's hair colors. I've given her side hugs, no frontal hugs, no hugs from behind, no groping, nothing like what she's done to me. So I don't know what lead her to believe it was okay to hug/grope me.

 

So here is where I need advice, or at least a sound out. Do I file for a sexual harassment report? Do I tell my supervisors? Or should I write this off as a kid being a kid? (She's barely 19.)

 

I don't want repeats of that type of a hug/grope, since I'm at work and I'm needing to pay attention to our customers, and our unpleasant customers/thieves. And I am sensitive to the possibility of our unpleasant customers pretty much coming through and contacting me in a full physical smack to try to escape the rest of my store's lost prevention. I'm not trying to be an ass-hat, but her approach unnerved the hell out of me.

 

Any thoughts would be wonderfully appreciated, even if they are along the lines of "To hell with you crazy lady.."

 

Thank you for your time and patience through reading this.

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Not exactly sure, but I think I need a little advice before I go to my work tomorrow. So sadly, you guys get to be a sounding board for a little while. Hope you don't mind and forgive me if this gets touchy.

 

-snip for size-

It's your life and your work, so it's your decision, but I would personally talk with her first and tell her that you are uncomfortable with physical contact not from family, especially in the middle of work when it could come off as unprofessional and potentially get both of you reported - or end up with either of you not catching a shoplifter. Let her know that she really needs to ask first if she's thinking about touching you, but the base answer is no, you're just not that much of a touchy-feely person. She's 19, which is a kid, yes, but even young kids should be taught to respect boundaries and consent. If a three year old is old enough for this lesson, a 19 year old can certainly survive this lesson. If she brings up any side hugs from you, just say that you're more comfortable with it before/after work, but you'd still prefer to be asked first.

 

If you talk with her and she doesn't back down, then I think it is totally fair to report the behavior to your supervisor/s. She's making you uncomfortable, and that's not okay.

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Thank you for the advice SockPuppet. I might have to go to a supervisor, since her overall reaction to anyone, that is not a supervisor, talking to her has been along the lines of "Go to hell Crazy, I'm not going to do what I'm suppose to do unless you are one of the big wigs," reaction. She doesn't exactly like to take me seriously, since she seems to be determined to have me as a friend in the worst way. She goes and does things by her own rules. (She doesn't break the store policies, she goes her own way a LOT.)

 

*sigh* I hate adulting some days.

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For example I am with a female friend or crush and her aunt or mother. How can I speak to the aunt or mom in private? How to get my female friend away for a moment?

 

I need creative excuses.

 

I want to ask for advice to parent without my friend knowing.

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For example I am with a female friend or crush and her aunt or mother. How can I speak to the aunt or mom in private? How to get my female friend away for a moment?

 

I need creative excuses.

 

I want to ask for advice to parent without my friend knowing.

Find a time when you're both in her room or another room separate from where her aunt/mother is. Tell her you're going to the bathroom, actually go to her aunt/mother.

Wait until your friend goes to the bathroom. Ensure that she drinks a lot.

Ask your friend to go get something (preferably hard to find) in another room.

If her aunt/mother goes into the kitchen to wash dishes or perform some other chore, offer to help. Make sure your friend is unhelpful.

Pass a note to the aunt/mother asking to meet in private at a later time. Be careful that she doesn't ask out loud what it is AKA too risky.

 

I guess it's circumstantial, this is just what I could come up with.

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@luxrayx: happy.gif Thank you! I'm planning to talk to the parent/relative first on advice how to approach/date my friend, and of course ask permission. I don't want it to be awkward for my friend so I have to make certain they are not there lest it be awkward for wveryone. I had no choice but to be sneaky about it.

 

Very helpful tricks, though I will be more clever with the excuses since I cannot lie (i.e. I cannot say I will go to the bathroom when I'm not.) It's just not me.

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So recently I've started getting panic attacks on a daily basis, any tips on how to prevent them? :s

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So recently I've started getting panic attacks on a daily basis, any tips on how to prevent them? :s

Do you know what is causing them?

 

Edit: if it's stress, try to focus on one task on hand on the time and try not to focus on anything else for the time being

Edited by Raptor of Dragons

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Do you know what is causing them?

 

Edit: if it's stress, try to focus on one task on hand on the time and try not to focus on anything else for the time being

I think it probably is, I tend to over think things alongside that as well which doesn't help :L

During them that's what I try and do, it's Okay when I'm at home but when I'm out its difficult ^

Edited by SallyPuddy

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How to deal with a person who is constantly dissatisfied?

 

My mom always complain and says things she wants to have. For example, a job for me. I had a temporary job at teaching. She wants a full time job. Now that I am at a full time job, she wants me to have a significant other (SO). Don't get me wrong. I know she wants the bedt for me; she wants me to be happy. However, I am not yet ready. I tell her this. I also said that it will come in its own time. I just don't want to accelerate and rush things. I know if it's meant to be, it will come.

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So I've had a fever/etc. on and off for the past week and it really messed a lot up for me (who plans to get sick y'know) and I have a diploma coming up now that I'm vastly under prepared for. My usually study habits take time that I don't have anymore and it's stressing me a bit.

Anyone have suggestions how to get ready for a big test with not a lot of time?

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Update for those who are curious since I asked some strategies on how to get a chance to talk to crush's relative (aunt/uncle) in private:

 

Well, I think I blew my chance of sorts, however at least her uncle was understanding. Still is awkward to see him around but he patted me at the back when we had our encounters again afterwards.

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Okay, so I've seen all this literature (clickbait articles tbh) on how couples who are inseparable are doomed. My boyfriend and I just celebrated our one year anniversary and we're still inseparable.  We wake up together, go to classes together, carpool, eat together, watch netflix together, run errands, visit each other's parents.... and the list goes on (we do these things most days). At the beginning of our relationship, in the honeymoon phase, it became a real problem because our friends became annoyed because we wouldn't spend enough time with them. We've worked out those problems, I spend most nights on my own and hang out with my friends more often, but I still worry that maybe this is still too much time together? Especially with everyone saying it is. The problem is neither of us want to spend our time doing anything else. We go on adventures and switch things up, so neither of us are bored with each other. Is this normal behavior? 

 

Anyway TL;DR, how much time is TOO MUCH time with a S/O? I know there are many adults on here with marriages and things, and I just really need advice. I am 100% positive that this is the man I want to marry (he's also 100% positive), and I don't want things to "fizzle out" I suppose. I'm just very anxious when it comes to these things.

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4 hours ago, Earth Gurl said:

Okay, so I've seen all this literature (clickbait articles tbh) on how couples who are inseparable are doomed. My boyfriend and I just celebrated our one year anniversary and we're still inseparable.  We wake up together, go to classes together, carpool, eat together, watch netflix together, run errands, visit each other's parents.... and the list goes on (we do these things most days). At the beginning of our relationship, in the honeymoon phase, it became a real problem because our friends became annoyed because we wouldn't spend enough time with them. We've worked out those problems, I spend most nights on my own and hang out with my friends more often, but I still worry that maybe this is still too much time together? Especially with everyone saying it is. The problem is neither of us want to spend our time doing anything else. We go on adventures and switch things up, so neither of us are bored with each other. Is this normal behavior? 

 

Anyway TL;DR, how much time is TOO MUCH time with a S/O? I know there are many adults on here with marriages and things, and I just really need advice. I am 100% positive that this is the man I want to marry (he's also 100% positive), and I don't want things to "fizzle out" I suppose. I'm just very anxious when it comes to these things.

 

Hi (:

 

I myself have gone through this struggle and anxiety. I finally came to this conclusion.

Do YOU feel like you are spending too much time with him? Are you tired of his presence? Do you think it is having a negative effect towards you mentally/physically/emotionally?

No? Then no.

There is no right or wrong amount of time you should or should not spend with your s/o. Each relationship is different, and ultimately it is YOUR relationship. How YOU feel is what you should focus on.

I've found the clickbait ads declaring "How long your relationship will last if you see these signs!!" etc, is a bunch of hokey. How can these people determine how your relationship is going to be? Are they participating in it? Are they a part of it? Have they ever met you or witnessed your relationship first hand? What right do they have to determine these things about your relationship?

These clickbait ads are precisely that, clickbait. They are intended solely for the purpose of gaining reads, by using things they know people are susceptible and sensitive to.

 

Don't listen to people telling you that "You spend too much time together." When you are involved with someone, usually you intend to be with them for the long run. If you are already a year in and are still inseparable, and you are happy and loving being and spending that time together, GOOD. There is a reason things are going so well and you've been this long already. What you are doing works. (Side note, if you spend time and effort focused on making other people happy about YOUR relationship, that would more likely make it "fizzle out".)

 

MY TL;DR,

Are you happy? Don't change a thing based off of what other people say. It isn't their relationship and they have no right to say anything in the first place. Done and done.

 

 

Hope this helps even remotely & I hope I made sense!

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10 hours ago, Earth Gurl said:

Okay, so I've seen all this literature (clickbait articles tbh) on how couples who are inseparable are doomed. My boyfriend and I just celebrated our one year anniversary and we're still inseparable.  We wake up together, go to classes together, carpool, eat together, watch netflix together, run errands, visit each other's parents.... and the list goes on (we do these things most days). At the beginning of our relationship, in the honeymoon phase, it became a real problem because our friends became annoyed because we wouldn't spend enough time with them. We've worked out those problems, I spend most nights on my own and hang out with my friends more often, but I still worry that maybe this is still too much time together? Especially with everyone saying it is. The problem is neither of us want to spend our time doing anything else. We go on adventures and switch things up, so neither of us are bored with each other. Is this normal behavior? 

 

Anyway TL;DR, how much time is TOO MUCH time with a S/O? I know there are many adults on here with marriages and things, and I just really need advice. I am 100% positive that this is the man I want to marry (he's also 100% positive), and I don't want things to "fizzle out" I suppose. I'm just very anxious when it comes to these things.

 

I agree fully with what Verfolgun said. I've been together with my boyfriend for a bit over four years now, and we are as inseparable as they come. I'm a university student (currently on holiday) and he's working as a football coach, so we spend most of our time at home, together. We live in a quite small apartment, 33 square meters, and my friends always wonder how we survive in such a small space together, asking don't we need our own space. Nah, not really. It is absolutely heavenly to me to just sit on our bed, browsing the internet, just doing what I'd be doing anyway, while he's playing video games etc. in the same room. It's like being alone, but with TWO people! He's my best friend and I'm as madly in love with him as I was when we first met. 

 

So, as long as you are both happy and enjoy each others company, don't listen to any friends or clickbait articles and just go with your heart! 

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Thanks, that makes me feel SO much better. ^_^ I feel like every relationship is different but I was still anxious about it. We're both ecstatic spending every waking hour together, and our "breaks" come naturally and mutually usually. It's just hard sometimes because these articles are EVERYWHERE and people keep saying "If you spend x amount of time together, you'll get sick of each other". I'll try to ignore it. :) We're very happy, so you're right, we should just ignore those things. 

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