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Gildraug

Demigods and demons OOC

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Very well happy.gif

Just use your best judgement if/when you introduce eastern mythology, in the meaning if these gods/goddesses/demons/spirits are good, evil, neutral, or anything in between.

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Hello! This is Dauntingale here to help you get this approved. Here are some errors I've found after the first read-through:

 

resulting to  demigods, beings of half-human, half-god

 

- Change “resulting to” to “resulting in”.

 

the gods protect them by  a Screen

 

- Change “by” to “using” for better wording.

 

their power, hone their battle skill, and overall, prepare them  to face the demons and protect humanity

 

- Change “prepare them” to “become prepared” for parallel structure (and so that you continue referring to the subject you’re supposed to be referring to).

 

Demons, on the other hand, may possess a human body and use it as a vessel. The demons have camps in the empty void beyond the fabric of our world, where they also train to face the demigods.

 

- Is there a reason for this? Is it some kind of feud, or is it just natural for them to hate each other?

 

Demons will learn how to move between the worlds, demigods how to identify demons and their level of danger.

 

- Comma splice. Start a new sentence or add a conjunction at the comma. Also, I understand the colloquial, but you need a verb after “demigods”.

 

so will the encounters between demons and demigods become more likely and more often

 

- Saying “so will” already implies increase so “become more likely and more often” is just repetitive. Remove one of the two parts.

 

Demons attract humans to them by showing pictures of their wishes and dreams, then  using these to possess the body

 

- Add “and” before “then”.

 

Demigods are taught to find out  the demons amongst the crowd

 

- Remove “out”.

 

infecting other people,  until a demigod comes and destroys it, or it escapes back to the void

 

- Remove comma after “people”.

 

If a human is too long in the presence of a demon , they become infected and slowly turn into a demon themselves - like a virus.

 

- Rephrase so that “too long” is at the end.

- Add “infection” after “virus”. (This is because the infection is what is being referred to).

 

you will gain more variety into your  skills, but not more power.

 

- Change “into your” to just “in”. This removes repetition and awkward phrasing.

 

They are very proud and some  do not even want to help the demigods.

 

- Comma before “and” (separates independent clauses).

 

Gaia, Loki and a good number of others are not necessarily neither  good nor evil, but work for their own purposes - against the gods and demons alike.

 

- Remove “neither” and change “nor” to “or”. Makes it less awkward and wordy.

 

The world is shaped like in the  Norse mythology:

 

- Remove “in the”.

 

The school is located on a  enormous island of land

 

- Change “a” to “an”.

 

There are five categories to  which you can specialize.

 

- Change “to” to “in”

 

They can summon up to five monsters, each  stronger than the other

 

- Remove comma before “each”.

 

Teaches about potions and poisonso.

 

- Typo. Remove the “o”.

 

Hes about 40, has a brown, wavy hair

 

- “Hes” -> “He’s” for possessive.

 

She fears none monster and almost

 

- “no” not “none”.

 

Level 5: Hellhounds - if come  in a pack

 

- Remove “come”.

 

I will be back after you are done. biggrin.gif

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Woah this site is hella strict! You can't rp unless it gets approved? And you can't get it approved till you have NO errors in the description?

 

Also I am really new so Gildraug I sent you a pm with questions. If you did not get it please tell me.

Edited by Traveler

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Yeah, you need to get an rp approved. This site isn't strict. However, it does require you to have some sense of grammar and such. Would you want to read an rp and find that there is a great amount of grammatical error? Every approver is different, so some pick out every detail, and some miss just a wee bit.

If you don't want to bother with that kind of stuff, them I suggest you don't try to make a roleplay.

Hope I could help.

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Esko_the_Wolf

 

AHhh okay, well I'm not trying to make an rp just join this one. How are you tonight? Have you given thought to your character?

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Guuuhhhh I really need to get to that....I have time...I will try to make it now.

I am planning to make a bad*ss demigod and a child of Lucifer. Hopefully I get to the demon...

Edited by Esko_the_Wolf

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Esko_the_Wolf

 

Hmmm now I hadn't even thought of making a second character...I think I will stay with just one. I think most of use want demons.

 

Tell me about your kids when you get the chance okay?

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My.....kids? I am a kid myself o-o

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EDIT: Sorry Pi, didn't notice your post at first o.o

(Isn't Daji also, y'know, a real person who existed before she was portrayed as a demon? :\ I feel like that makes things kinda touchy there)

 

If gods can't interfere directly with the mortal world... how did demigods, uh, come into existence in the first place?

 

I myself found Daji as a human but I was confused was Wikipedia giving me an article about a real person or a story or what. Anyways, if Daji truly is human by blood, then she would be a possessed body by a fox spirit? This is an interesting case and I cannot say a lot since I do not know about this mythology.

 

By interfering, I mean that they cannot stop world hunger or affect politics and such - also, they cannot give anything to their lover nor their child, save for one item/thing they receive on their 13th birthday, e.g. Venla got Raja and in the Percy Jackson books Percy gets the sword and Annabeth has her invisibility cap etc, etc.

 

~~~

 

Ahh, thank you Dauntingale! laugh.gif Edits are done!

 

~~~

 

I am planning to make a bad*ss demigod and a child of Lucifer. Hopefully I get to the demon...

Esko, just keep in mind not to make them too powerful, okay? ;D

 

~~~

 

Also concerning backstory do I have free rein to create the area my kid lived in? WE now live at the school but what about before that? Or have we always been raised by our parents in the school? We live in Void but what is that really? How does life go on there? How do demons meet? Is it like a harsher earth? Void of color and an eat or beaten, ruled by those with the power to survive?(I can elaborate on this if you like) Or is it a parallel to earth or .... what??

 

Yes, you have pretty much free reign on your character's back story, including where they lived before. The demons are curious in this aspect: even if they are born of two parents, they are still a shade, without a body. Therefore, demon children possess a body very much alike as an adult.

Void is everything beyond Yggdrasil, the world tree - in other words, nothingness. The only things that there are are the floating pieces of reality to where the demons go when not in Yggdrasil. The void is simply put, nothing. There are many reality bubbles, one of them being the demon school, and most of them being cities where life is somewhat the same as in Midgard, only thing is that the citizens are demons. Not all demons are evil and there is as much of variety of demons as there are humans. Most of them are minor demons and have no great power although still dangerous.

It is, in a sense, a harsher Midgard/Earth, but it is not devoid of life or color. The supreme ruler is Satan, being the one who first rebelled and have his wings ripped off, alongside all the other evils of mythology. There is a strict hierarchy and those who break it are severely punished - a simple matter of keeping order.

 

Also concerning Named Demons. My kid has two parents, they both have names it would be weird if they did not but only one is on your list. Thus meeting the quota? Unless a player researches demonology, finds a breed of demon and declares that their character other parent is a random member of this species I find it hard to not have two named demons.

 

Yes, it would meed the quota even if it wasn't on the list - it's there simply to help those who do not have the time/interest in researching demonlogy.

If you find a demon outside my list, describe me briefly how his/her/its powers work - very similarly how the named demons in my links have been named: Example, the Greatest of Examples. <- Bad example, but you get my point.

By two named demon parents I mostly mean that your character can have one known (and one lesser known) or two known demon parents.

 

NPCs we can't play our character's parents right? Can I still NPC my character's father? The bond they share is rather precious to Vanil(my character) and just not having parents would be weird. I have intentionally picked a demon I know would be able to visit him if it was truly desired.

 

Yes, you can NPC your character's father, as long as you do not use him to harass/control others or to turn the RP intentionally on your favor. So feel free to let him do visits! laugh.gif

Edited by Gildraug

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Esko_the_Wolf

 

Your kid meaning your character.

 

Gildraug

 

HELLA just what I wanted to hear! Okay I will get to work on that.

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Woah this site is hella strict! You can't rp unless it gets approved? And you can't get it approved till you have NO errors in the description?

I wouldn't say DC is strict. In fact, I've been told at times that my corrections are too in-depth and that I should lay off the more minor errors. I can't help it. :c

Anyway, I'll be back with more edits soon! There's so much in the Unapproved right now, and it's just me working on these RPs. >_<

Edited by Dauntingale

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I wouldn't say DC is strict. In fact, I've been told at times that my corrections are too in-depth and that I should lay off the more minor errors. I can't help it. :c

Anyway, I'll be back with more edits soon! There's so much in the Unapproved right now, and it's just me working on these RPs. >_<

EXCACTLY what I was saying! Well, the first part mostly. And the fact that every approver is different. Are you an editor in real life? Not surprised if you are biggrin.gif

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Fractional Pi Day

 

I fell like you would enjoy having Amatarasu as a mom. No? I am rather amazed no one has picked her up yet.

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Perhaps have a code to make sure they read the rules? (Included in the character form?)

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How does that work, though? Even a single human could theoretically change the world by interacting with other people and being really good at one thing or another. Is there anything that specifically prevents gods from changing too much of the human world? And on that note, how "true" are the mythologies? If they were all true, the world would've been independently created by dozens of different gods.

 

On the moment of the creation of the world, there was only one God with hundreds of different aspects within it. From this, the God divided into many gods and goddesses, who then worked independently on the creation of world. They combined all of these creations together and thus, the world was born. However, the appearance of Yggdrasil instead of any other world angered most of the gods, since they thought the to-be Norse gods had cheated in some manner. The gods divided, some siding that maybe Yggdrasil was the best candidate and some siding that some other world was better. The battle took a long, long time, ravaging the world and making it impossible for life to form - until the gods decided to lay down their arms and discuss. Forming back into a singular God for a moment, they realized this world was truly the best in this form. Dissecting again, they saw it fit if they all ruled together and visited Midgard every now and then. The gods of different aspects took their fancy on different people, visiting them and telling their side of the Creation and asking for their worship; thus, the mythologies came from the gods, not from the humans. Time passed and humans developed, taking more pride in what they did without the hep of gods. Slowly, the gods stopped visiting Midgard and withdrew to Asgard and Vanaheim.

After their withdraw, the gods knew they had to leave Midgard to humans to rule. Should the gods control Midgard, they would begin fighting amongst themselves once again and endanger the lives of all. To avoid this, the gods made strict rules about using their powers: never use them in Midgard. This created some discussion on how could the gods then protect Midgard from demons? From this question, the idea of demigods were born: mortal beings with godly blood. Their powers weren't too strong, so they could use them in Midgard. When a god falls in love with a human, they send a part of themselves in mortal form before this human and spend time with him/her. The gods never force humans to fall in love with them (It was forbidden after Aphrodite and some other gods of love started meddling with this whole god-human relationship -thing; but some gods still do it, nevertheless. Overall they try not to be nasty.), since having a demigod child is, in the end, a burden.

 

 

Honestly, the problem is that "demon", in English, is used as a catch-all term for non-benevolent mythological beings. Most "demons" from around the world can't even possess people at all (including the huli jing in most interpretations). Trying to turn them all into one unified thing with one set of powers really doesn't work well.

Demon was the best word I had.

Once again, for the sake of simplicity I had to narrow the demons into something general. If one wishes to RP with a demon that doesn't possess but lives in a different manner (being not a shade at all, having a physical form from the very beginning), it is totally fine with me. The "rules" I have for demigods, demons and gods are mainly meant for a general guideline.

 

~~~

 

Perhaps have a code to make sure they read the rules? (Included in the character form?)

I see no need for it, since the rules are quite simple and I can pretty quickly notice if someone didn't read them.

Edited by Gildraug

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Gildraug

 

Gods don't force people to fall in love them anymore EVER...I find that hard to believe....then again clever manipulation is not a force it's just playing that game correctly...

Never mind! Back to work on Elliot.

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EXCACTLY what I was saying! Well, the first part mostly. And the fact that every approver is different. Are you an editor in real life? Not surprised if you are biggrin.gif

Aspiring senior editor. Volunteer editor and proofreader. Freelance editor. English/bio double major. c:

Anyway, back on topic: There are only a few more minor things to correct... Going to edit this post in about 5 minutes with some more corrections.

 

Here you go:

 

resulting into demigods, beings of half-human, half-god

 

- Error from last time. Change “into” to “to”.

 

battle against them, using their powers

 

- No comma before “using”.

 

The school is located on an enormous island of land in the void, floating around Yggdrasil.

- No comma before “floating”.

 

Although not fancy, the rooms are comfy with soft beds,large wardrobes,

 

- Space between “beds,” and “large”.

 

He is almost always in the kitchens, so if you feel hungry you can just go ask him for food, as long as it's not past midnight

 

- Period after “midnight”.

 

machines that shoot tennis balls to be shoot at

 

- “shoot” should be “shot”.

 

outside in the yard and instead of electric light

 

- Pluralize “light”.

 

There is a cliff that lead straight into the void

 

- “lead” should be “leads” for subject-verb agreement.

 

Unless you want to be a Paladin or somthing above the Upper Class, in that case, PM me.

 

- “somthing” -> “something”

 

No character limit, just make sure you will make it clear while switching

 

Comma splice. Change comma to semicolon or period.

 

We are almost done. ^-^

Edited by Dauntingale

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@Dauntingale

Wonderful, edits are done ^^

 

~~~

 

Curious, why is the Blue Exorcists Chef serving Demis?

I just really liked that creature and thought he's be a cute addition biggrin.gif No specific reason, to be honest.

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@Gildraug

biggrin.gif

Oh I get that! Personally I am really happy he is there and wouldn't mind a cat roaming the halls but why demis and not demons? @o@

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Yeah I suppose your rules aren't too long, and the Gods fall in love with humans, and humans don't take too long to fall in love with the Gods as the Gods are beautiful haha

 

Take for example, the Goddess Athena, only procreates when she's completely in love with a man and their child pops out of her mind o.O

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