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Obscure_Trash

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Hah! Me too. But I have faith in you even though it's the first time we've talked, and I'm sure there are many others like me.

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Listen, there's always going to be a bad apple somewhere on the tree, but there's still a lot of apples.

Not everyone here is always nice, but everyone here is always trying to put their best self forward. You just need to give the place a chance and try not to let anyone else's bad moments get you down.

 

I know what it's like to want to give up. If you need to talk or vent or anything PM me.

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@DogeProvolone: I second the motion made by TehUltimateMage. People here are super nice. Some people that are helpful are Sock, our beloved mod, TehUltimateMage, and fuzzbucket (she may be too frank but she's caring, I assure you.)

 

That is a real example of what's going on here.

 

Well, sometimes there are issues and arguments arisinf from misunderstandings and differences in beliefs & culture. (I apologise I cannot mention names. That will be rude.) This thread is prone to that since we have different methods to help a person. And, it gets emotional. However, over all it gets resolved.

 

Nota bene: We can't say if you are having problems if you don't say it. Just remember that if you are, you are free to post here and speak your mind.

 

smile.gif Hope that helps and Best Wishes!

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So lately I just got back onto this lovely site to reconnect to some friends, which had made me insanely happy. But then I had that happiness crushed by an old enemy that resurfaced on Facebook. She said some things that lately have set me and my anxiety on edge to where I think about either drinking myself into a stupor, or picking up cigarettes again and smoking myself into numbness. (I am going to be 25 this year so you guys don't jump me for being underage.) Can I share what she said to me with a link or is it preferred to copy and paste the whole message cleanly?

 

Some of the things she says I am not, I am not dramatic unless I have to be to prove a small point about how annoying being dramatic is, I don't like drama and run away from it. That is why I moved to the home I am in now...I also do not lie, white lie to protect sometimes, but to straight up lie is not me anymore....

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Sounds like it's time to block her on fb! They have a block option for a reason, and someone who negatively impacts your mental health that much doesn't deserve to be in your space. D:

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Sounds like it's time to block her on fb! They have a block option for a reason, and someone who negatively impacts your mental health that much doesn't deserve to be in your space. D:

I have, but she creates more and more alts to come at me time and time again, today is the first day in about a week I have had peace for a full 24 hour period. I am shaking and on edge, terrified to get on my laptop or phone that used to be a luxury for me....I don't know what to do. I have even reported it to FB and they see nothing wrong with it. I don't want to create an alt cause I don't like the idea..

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I have, but she creates more and more alts to come at me time and time again, today is the first day in about a week I have had peace for a full 24 hour period. I am shaking and on edge, terrified to get on my laptop or phone that used to be a luxury for me....I don't know what to do. I have even reported it to FB and they see nothing wrong with it. I don't want to create an alt cause I don't like the idea..

That definitely sounds like cyberstalking to me. I can't believe fb just let it go??? Wow, they suck. I think it's worth it to just continue to keep reporting it to fb.

 

What are your privacy settings? You should set them as tight as possible and don't accept any requests that you are sure are people you know in real life, so as to avoid possible alts.

 

And if this person has threatened you at all, then you can report them to the police.

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Warning for languagehttp://queenlunarose.deviantart.com/journal/A-675795344

 

 

Here is what they said, I had to copy and paste it to my account there. And don't hate me for my political choice please....

 

Edit: My security is now at the highest it can possibly go on Facebook at this time.

 

~Censor evasion removed~

Sounds to ME like THEY are the one with the problem....not you.

 

I mean, they SERIOUSLY have nothing BETTER to do with their time than harass you online? Seriously? That just seems stupid, IMO. I guarantee that, even assuming you disagree with someone's political views, there are more productive uses of one's time.'Ridiculous' is as ridiculous does, and frankly, this individual's behavior is just plain that.

Edited by Silverswift

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Well. I don't believe any of that. Whenever I try to make friends it always ends up badly. Like this. It will end up badly.

You seem to be going through depression. I'm not going to tell you all will be flowers and roses, and that you'll find super nice people here because, while that's true, it is not important.

 

What you need is not super nice people. You need professional help. Depression is not just being sad or going through a rough patch, It's a very real clinical condition, and as long as you don't take care of that, you won't be able to see things positively because you can't.

 

Do search for help. I've been through depression myself and I know how incapacitating it is.

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Sounds to ME like THEY are the one with the problem....not you.

 

I mean, they SERIOUSLY have nothing BETTER to do with their time than harass you online? Seriously? That just seems stupid, IMO. I guarantee that, even assuming you disagree with someone's political views, there are more productive uses of one's time.'Ridiculous' is as ridiculous does, and frankly, this individual's behavior is just plain that.

Yeah I have to agree with that but it is stil messing with me emotionally.

 

 

Also Sock, sorry I forgot I needed to warn of language and stuff....Didn't mean to break a rule off the bat.

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welp

i did make friends

but ive lost all of them again in one fell swoop

why am i even trying

i was happy

nothing was wrong in my life

but now im back to the way i was

at least somebody will love me now

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It's not fun being driven to tears over something you can't seem to help. I don't remember/know like half the Mudkippin' states, I don't know their countries, I don't even know what's south of us (South America aside the point, I mean specifics)

 

And to think I can call myself 18, or ready to graduate? But let's see who guesses who made me cry, that shouldn't be hard. Apparently it's my fault I can't remember these things and no longer know them on my own, it's apparently my fault he threatened to drive for an hour until I got the answers I couldn't think of.

 

The best part?

I guessed the answer of the area he was asking and he said it was WRONG and it stumbled into that mess.

 

AND IN THE END GUESS WHAT, IT TURNS OUT I WAS RIGHT. And he never apologized or anything, simply stated I should've known from the very start.

 

Oh yeah, and the usual, I hate my art, not liking how my life is going right now, you get the deal. I can't change anything, yeah yeah, feel free to ignore this post I just, I have nobody to really express this stuff to and I'm hardly on here but to post on this thread and look for eggs.

 

EDIT: New things to sob over, whoopie ****ing doo.

Maybe my memory is just doomed to vanish and I'll lose everything I thought I had locked up in there. I lost my credit card when I never use it, I can't remember problems i did days ago, and I have to watch our ASK if a door is a pull or push. I feel like I'm forgetting to walk, like it's a numb feeling in school. Maybe I'm just doomed to this life. Maybe I should just give up. Maybe I should just disappear.

Edited by NoraNora

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I have been flirting with my crush nearly all censorkip.gif day and just sent an incredibly risque message and now i'm just sitting here eternally screaming like

 

why did this start happening

i have no idea if they even know i still have a crush on them

what if this backfires i'm going to feel so dumb

but

what if it doesnt back fire

 

im just going to continue screaming considering i think it did backfire but im scared to check ahahahahahahaha ignore me plz im just trying to shout at the anonymous void

 

edit: yup it was ignored and conversation has continued like nothing happened hahahahaha why is it even after a full day of flirting that got my hopes up it aint true did i misinterpret i mustve except he literally made it sound so clear cut and just ahahahah ignore me this is fine

edit2:AND NOW WE'RE BACK TO FLIRTING HEAVEN HELP ME WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON

Edited by Wandering4Ever

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I have been flirting with my crush nearly all censorkip.gif day and just sent an incredibly risque message and now i'm just sitting here eternally screaming like

 

why did this start happening

i have no idea if they even know i still have a crush on them

what if this backfires i'm going to feel so dumb

but

what if it doesnt back fire

 

im just going to continue screaming considering i think it did backfire but im scared to check ahahahahahahaha ignore me plz im just trying to shout at the anonymous void

 

edit: yup it was ignored and conversation has continued like nothing happened hahahahaha why is it even after a full day of flirting that got my hopes up it aint true did i misinterpret i mustve except he literally made it sound so clear cut and just ahahahah ignore me this is fine

edit2:AND NOW WE'RE BACK TO FLIRTING HEAVEN HELP ME WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON

Well seeing as it didn't blow up in your face I take it they took it with stride. Sometimes, and that is only when there is a small window of opportunity, it is best to admit you feel for them. But that is often worse than not saying it, I would keep flirting like that until you feel they would accept your admission of your feelings.

 

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*sending lots of hugs to NoraNora* Have you thought about getting some tests done to see if there is a reason you seem to be forgetting so much? It could be an actual problem and not just forgetfulness.

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@ NoraNora

 

If I lived in a country that had 50 states, I'd have difficulty remembering them all. As it is, I still confuse the capitals of South Australia and Victoria.

 

On the memory thing. Stress has an impact on being able to remember things. Depression, and perhaps other forms of mental illness as well. I grew up in an abusive household and I can't remember most of my childhood. When people say they recall stuff from when they were two, I keep quiet because my first memory is of when I was around eight. What I'm trying to say is, you're not alone.

 

While I doubt I'll ever remember the things from those years (some I'd rather not), more recent events within the last couple of years have become things I can recall. When my state of mental health improved, so too did my ability to remember more recent events.

 

Marie19R has some good advice as well. There could be something up if your memory is being impacted to that degree. Be it a physical, neurological or psychological health problem, it's probably something worth looking into.

 

 

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It's been awhile since I posted plus I got hit with bad news today so I figured it was time

 

So some good things. my severe social anxiety? I've finally worked up the nerve to visit my doctor and she prescribed me some medicine for it. Which hasn't done a thing but on the plus side, i've finally seeked help. And I plan to keep trying medications until I hopefully find one that helps. I've also started forcing myself to go outside every single day if weather permits. Even if its something simple such as walking to the park and back well...its something right? I've also been trying to talk to customers at both my jobs more. The nice looking ones anyways haha. And finally im texting people first as opposed to always waiting for them to do it. These are all minor things I realize but to someone with crippling social anxiety? Its a huge step forward

 

Now onto the bad news. Long story short, for months there were rumors at my main job that the place was going out of business. But theyve been saying that for a very long time so I started to ignore it but well..? I Deduced today that its for real. I dont want to go into the details beyond that but yes, its for real. And i'm going to ask my one manager who im comfortable with about it when I go in tomorrow and depending on what happens, i'll have to quit right then and there. But even if I dont quit, I will lose my job in a matter of time regardless.

 

Now my job is awful so i'm not too upset about that. And even about the fact i'm currently not getting the money I earned. No what bothers me is im prematurely forced to get a new one immediately. Granted I do have two jobs but the second is just seasonal work with my mom so it barely amounts to anything.

 

What im getting at is I still have a LONG way to go with my social anxiety. I cant even go to a job interview without panic alarms going off in my head and me visibly crying, let alone learn a new job and adapt to a new environment. Plus almost any job I qualify for requires a lot of social interaction as well. The only reason I even got my first job in the first place was purely out of luck and pity. Plus I didnt have to interview as I was hired on the spot. My second I only got because my mom got me in.

 

Im just?? Terrified. My social anxiety is at a pretty big low still despite my efforts and i'm going to need a new job immediately. But my on and off job seeking progress for the past 5 years has only continued to end in failure. The added pressure and negative verbal hurt im getting from everyone IRL isn't helping matters at all either. I just dunno what to do anymore

Edited by aerolyx

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@aerolyx: You seeked out help for your anxiety. That's good! You are fifty percent in solving your problems. You are very brave in acknowledging it!

 

As for job security. Well, just relax. Jobs aren't always permanent and sometimes you have to embrace change. You can survive another interview. You already survived one.

 

In the end, all will be well. If all is not well, then it is not the end.

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Ugggg....

 

I sometimes wish that I could learn to keep my mouth shut.

 

Granted that I am better than I used to be on this, but still...

 

See, this morning, about five am, the fire alarm in the bedroom was beeping because the battery in it was going dead, which woke me up. The trouble being that First of all, I believed my sister had managed to sleep through it and I didn't want to disturb her....which I would have had to do to bring in a chair to do anything with it. Secondly.... i am short, so I wasn't convinced that even IF I brought in a chair I'd be able to reach well enough to fix the problem. Finally, my sis did get up and fix it... but by this point I was fully awake and didn't sleep well after that.

 

The problem? My response later.

 

Did I thank her for fixing it?

No... I grumbled about the thing.

 

I realized when someone Said, "Go drink your coffee" that I was being a grouch... but by then I had basically vented my crabiness and said some things I wish that I could now take back. I have apologized to her for what was said.... but I still feel bad about the whole think because I feel like my foul mood has annoyed everyone...and given the fact that I was being an unreasonable little twit it is hard to blame them.

 

Why do some days just seem to get off track from the very beginning?

Edited by Silverswift

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Yes, there are times when we do things that aren't nice. However, that does not mean we aren't nice people. As for why this things happen, I do not know. We tend to be emotional beings.

 

smile.gif It will be alright, dear! Sure, we cannot take back what we said, but we can apologise and prevent this to happen again.

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I reached my breaking point and cried at work. What a scene! A man crying over a pile of papers and tasks on hand. I appreciate that people just let me be and talked to me in a gentle manner and left me alone. I refuse to be coddled at work. Although, to be honest, deep down, I just want a little sympathy.

 

I was just overwhelmed with the tasks. I can do them one at a time, yes, but the deadlines! I never really deal with deadlines efficiently. It's unfortunate that I'm assigned a major role only two months and a half of work there without much training (due to the person in charge resigning and they really need a person to feel the vacancy).

 

Worse part is, my crush saw me crying. A person younger, yes, and who I need to be strong for. (She's newer than me). sad.gif What must she think of me?

Edited by georgexu94

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My mother really loves to make me feel horrible about myself. She makes me feel like my interests will never do anything for me and that I never help around the house and that I'll never amount to anything, but then when it's brought up during my therapy sessions, she pulls the cop-out, "Of course your interests mean something! Of course you're not a burden to me!"

 

And then she goes right back to me feeling horrible. I honestly don't know what to do. About 90% of my one on one therapy is me talking about the horrible things my mom and her fiance have done to my mental and emotional state. I can only hope that I can smile through Mother's Day while she keeps telling me I'll amount to nothing. Even though she "doesn't really mean it." (Then why say it? What kind of twisted person would tell their child that "as a joke?")

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I reached my breaking point and cried at work. What a scene! A man crying over a pile of papers and tasks on hand. I appreciate that people just let me be and talked to me in a gentle manner and left me alone. I refuse to be coddled at work. Although, to be honest, deep down, I just want a little sympathy.

 

I was just overwhelmed with the tasks. I can do them one at a time, yes, but the deadlines! I never really deal with deadlines efficiently. It's unfortunate that I'm assigned a major role only two months and a half of work there without much training (due to the person in charge resigning and they really need a person to feel the vacancy).

 

Worse part is, my crush saw me crying. A person younger, yes, and who I need to be strong for. (She's newer than me). sad.gif What must she think of me?

She probably thinks you're really brave for putting yourself in this kind of position, because it honestly is. Despite your lack of training and short time at your job, you were asked to step up to a challenge and you did. I don't think they would have asked you if they didn't think you were capable of doing so- the fact that you're still going shows how strong you are. I think your crush sees this, and just wishes they could help you in some way. It's ok to break down sometimes, it's much better than bottling it up inside and having it come out in other more horrible ways.

 

I just wanted to let you know you're not alone in your struggles. I watch my manager every day look like she's going to break at any moment, and even if she did, she's still a huge inspiration to me and an incredible role model. I feel like if your crush is newer and looks up to you, just like I am new to my manager and look up to her, she probably sees you in a similar way. Keep up the work, you can do it, you carry in you the hopes and dreams of others. Just give it your best shot- even if you fail, you can at least say you gave it everything you had and that there was nothing more that you could have done. Even if others don't reach out in sympathy to you, they're there rooting for you in their own way.

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