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Obscure_Trash

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Welp, I am deep waters right now. I suppose I have to post this in Advice thread as I really need advice.

 

I apparently made a risky decision that would affect my future employment and it backfired.

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My mom died a few months ago and it still feels like it just happened. I keep accidentally staying up all night and distraction is all I ever feel up to these days. I joined DC right after I started middle school. 5 years ago my uncle died, we were pretty close. I spent so much time online and with the questions like "how was school?" sometimes they'd ask how my dragons were doing. I'm isolated a lot, took me way too long to appreciate them trying to take some interest in my hobbies.

 

That was the last person who was around my whole childhood. Just started college last fall and now the only one that lasted is my cat. I'm empty inside but full of regret.

Hey there,

 

I'm very sorry about your mom. When something happens like that, people always say "It gets easier" but sometimes it doesn't. I lost my Grandfather my senior year of high school. It was very sudden and I had no time to prepare. He was the person I was and will always be closest to in my family. I still miss him every days, even though it's been 5 or 6 years.

 

People are made of energy. The brain is little more then a series of firing electrical pulses that make up who you are. Since energy can neither be created or destroyed, that energy that made up your mom is still here. I don't know what you or anyone else believes spiritual, and I'm not trying to push things, but take some comfort in the fact that her energy is still here.

 

Being isolated really sucks as well, especially when your really busy and don't have much time to socialize. I graduated college a years ago, and I moved to another state right after where I didn't know anybody. What really helped me is meetup.com. I'm not great at meeting people in person, and I don't like clubs and things like that where people generally meet other people. The people I met through the website have become like family to me. We play D&D every Saturday, and I love them to death. If you haven't tried that yet, it might be worth a go?

 

Lastly, I want to share one more website with you. It's called 7 cups of tea. This website has trained "Listeners" that you can IM and talk to for free at any time in the day or night. I have been up all night because I was feeling excruciating emotional pain too. It has more then once got me through the night, and several times the person was even able to talk me into getting some rest.

 

I hope this brought you even a small bit of comfort. Know that you aren't alone, there are many people out there who have gone through similar things, and will gladly open their hearts and ears to you. All the best.

 

Coheart

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Sometimes I feel really inferior when it comes to art. There are people in the world who can draw something amazing in a short time, while it takes me hours to do something half-decent. This wouldn't be such a problem if I didn't like art so much. I get cool ideas of drawings, but when it comes down to it I can never get it to look the way I want. Something always looks off, or just not well done enough.

 

I also like to write, and have reasonable skill with that, but writing is harder to be appreciated. So many things have to line up, and at the end of the day someone will probably say they don't like it. Art on the other hand can be appreciated just by looking at it. If something looks beautiful, people like it. If it doesn't look very good, they don't. I'm not saying it doesn't take just as much work to do either medium, but I really want to be good at art and it really puts me down knowing so many other people out there are so much better than I'll ever be.

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Sometimes I feel really inferior when it comes to art. There are people in the world who can draw something amazing in a short time, while it takes me hours to do something half-decent. This wouldn't be such a problem if I didn't like art so much. I get cool ideas of drawings, but when it comes down to it I can never get it to look the way I want. Something always looks off, or just not well done enough.

 

I also like to write, and have reasonable skill with that, but writing is harder to be appreciated. So many things have to line up, and at the end of the day someone will probably say they don't like it. Art on the other hand can be appreciated just by looking at it. If something looks beautiful, people like it. If it doesn't look very good, they don't. I'm not saying it doesn't take just as much work to do either medium, but I really want to be good at art and it really puts me down knowing so many other people out there are so much better than I'll ever be.

Feeling like your art is inferior a normal feeling that doesn't go away even if you get "good" at art.

 

Don't compare yourself to other people when it comes to art. Easy to say, yes. As long as you keep an open mind and keep pushing yourself to learn. Try new things, like a new style or a new medium, trace references, study form, etc.

There's stuff you want to draw, and that's great! Even if it takes hours, the more you do it the shorter time you'll take, but understand that even the best artists pour hours, even days or weeks, into a finished piece. Kind of like sculpting in a way. Doesn't take too long to whittle a general shape, though you could spend the rest of your life polishing that thing.

 

Don't get attached to everything you draw. There's going to be duds, and that's okay. Don't be afraid of drawing the same thing over and over to try and make every iteration better, either. If you have a vision of something you'd like to make reality, keep trying (like that guy spending six years capturing his vision of a diving Kingfisher....)

 

Even saying all of this, artists have off days where they're not satisfied with anything they draw -- like I recently got out of a block where I couldn't put pen to paper and when I did, I wanted to rip everything up. For me I was just stressed and getting overly emotional about it, but all I needed was a break for a little bit. And sometimes, it's beautiful flipping back a couple years (has it really been 5 years since 2012?!?!) and look at how far I've come :')

 

 

tl;dr: You make your art for you. Try new things and new approaches, and draw constantly! The skill will come given time and work.

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Okay, here goes:

 

I'm 22, almost 23 years old, and I've never been emotionally involved with anyone, never been in a relationship, probably because I spent my entire adolescence with sub-zero self esteem, and I've never fallen hard enough for anyone. Until this last summer.

I went to a Greek island with a friend of mine, and there I met a guy who is three years older than me, attractive, with a good sense of humor, fun to be around, socially and mentally intelligent, kind of geeky, everything I ever wanted in a man. And there were moments I thought that he liked me too, he once hugged me in front of everyone during a beach volleyball game we were playing, on my final evening when we were saying goodbye we shared a hug that lasted for ten full minutes, and the chemistry really hit me hard.

We've been texting since I came back home, which was last August, and sometimes even... sexually, and it would last for an hour or two at least, and we never argued and it was awesome. I felt so confident and happy that finally there is someone that likes me and that I might have SOMETHING with, whatever that is. I even invited him to come to Belgrade, which he seemed happy about, and once he even mentioned that he got a new job so that he could save up to come in the summer, and even promised me that, in case he could make it, he would take me with him to the summer music festival which starts on my 23rd birthday.

Recently things aren't going well at all from my perspective -> I sent him a text to ask him what was up, nothing much, and all I get is a seen with no response. And he recently added two new girls on Facebook, and one of them wrote on his timeline, publicly: "Thanks for adding us, handsome!" I think everything is gone for good and all I'm trying to do right now is move on the same way he is doing, apparently.

 

If anyone out here could help me with some advice on how to get someone out of your head, someone you thought was perfect for you and you have absolutely no chances with, then help me. It's just that, he was the first guy I ever fell for hard enough to flirt with him, and he was aware of that, and he even added oil to the fire several times, I think that he would have shut everything down if he was never interested. As a matter of fact, I fell so hard that I was up for anything -> to give it a shot, let go completely and see which way it goes, long distance relationship or an adventure, whatever, even to have sex with him although I never even kissed anyone to begin with... and now I just want him out of my head so that I can move on.

Edited by *Silver Fox*

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I am trying to quit smoking, and it is so very ****ing hard. I've smoked for over a decade (started in college). I have to quit. I spend like $120 a month on cigarettes, and over the past year, I've had really bad bronchitis, several sinus infections, and pneumonia. It seems like every time I get a cold I end up getting placed on antibiotics for some kind of lung or sinus issue. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I can't breathe and I end up hacking up a lot of gross phlegm. censorkip.gif this, I'm only 33 years old. If I don't quit now, I could censorkip.gif up my lungs beyond repair.

 

But it's just... so damn hard. sad.gif Even with the patch, I still get some physical withdrawal symptoms, and sometimes smoking triggers are so hard to deal with, especially the stress/work related ones. And the psychological side effects are awful. I already have depression issues and severe emotional dysregulation, and since I've quit 3 days ago, I've had two panic attacks, episodes of uncontrollable crying, and once I got so frustrated that I almost punched a hole in the wall (I went outside and punched the brick wall instead, which hurt but also saved the drywall inside from having a giant hole in it xd.png ).

 

I just don't know what to do, because I need to quit smoking and I want to quit smoking, but I'm also worried about my mental state. I'm afraid I'm going to get suicidal and no one will be around to distract me when it hits. It kind of scares me. sad.gif

 

Also, I have a headache, my vision is blurry, and I want to punch something. thumbs_up.png

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Okay, here goes:

 

I'm 22, almost 23 years old, and I've never been emotionally involved with anyone, never been in a relationship, probably because I spent my entire adolescence with sub-zero self esteem, and I've never fallen hard enough for anyone. Until this last summer.

I went to a Greek island with a friend of mine, and there I met a guy who is three years older than me, attractive, with a good sense of humor, fun to be around, socially and mentally intelligent, kind of geeky, everything I ever wanted in a man. And there were moments I thought that he liked me too, he once hugged me in front of everyone during a beach volleyball game we were playing, on my final evening when we were saying goodbye we shared a hug that lasted for ten full minutes, and the chemistry really hit me hard.

We've been texting since I came back home, which was last August, and sometimes even... sexually, and it would last for an hour or two at least, and we never argued and it was awesome. I felt so confident and happy that finally there is someone that likes me and that I might have SOMETHING with, whatever that is. I even invited him to come to Belgrade, which he seemed happy about, and once he even mentioned that he got a new job so that he could save up to come in the summer, and even promised me that, in case he could make it, he would take me with him to the summer music festival which starts on my 23rd birthday.

Recently things aren't going well at all from my perspective -> I sent him a text to ask him what was up, nothing much, and all I get is a seen with no response. And he recently added two new girls on Facebook, and one of them wrote on his timeline, publicly: "Thanks for adding us, handsome!" I think everything is gone for good and all I'm trying to do right now is move on the same way he is doing, apparently.

 

If anyone out here could help me with some advice on how to get someone out of your head, someone you thought was perfect for you and you have absolutely no chances with, then help me. It's just that, he was the first guy I ever fell for hard enough to flirt with him, and he was aware of that, and he even added oil to the fire several times, I think that he would have shut everything down if he was never interested. As a matter of fact, I fell so hard that I was up for anything -> to give it a shot, let go completely and see which way it goes, long distance relationship or an adventure, whatever, even to have sex with him although I never even kissed anyone to begin with... and now I just want him out of my head so that I can move on.

The best thing to do to get anything or anyone out of your mind is to occupy yourself with hobbies. Hobbies that are way more interesting than what it is that you can't get out of your mind.

 

What is it that you have dreamt and wanted so badly? Is it a vacation and travel to a wonderful place? Then even if it isn't plausible at the moment, plan on it. Research on travel expenses, etc.

 

If it's something outlandish such as going to Pluto, then fantasise about it. Make up a story or drawing about that. It will help take the thing off of your mind.

 

I am not going to deal with this man, of how he sort of "cheated" you. I'm just going to say he's not worth your time and worries.

 

Cheers! ~georgexu94

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The best thing to do to get anything or anyone out of your mind is to occupy yourself with hobbies. Hobbies that are way more interesting than what it is that you can't get out of your mind.

 

What is it that you have dreamt and wanted so badly? Is it a vacation and travel to a wonderful place? Then even if it isn't plausible at the moment, plan on it. Research on travel expenses, etc.

 

If it's something outlandish such as going to Pluto, then fantasise about it. Make up a story or drawing about that. It will help take the thing off of your mind.

 

I am not going to deal with this man, of how he sort of "cheated" you. I'm just going to say he's not worth your time and worries.

 

Cheers! ~georgexu94

He couldn't have cheated because we never hooked up, and never even made anything official, to be honest. Both he and I are free to do as we please as we are free, but it can hurt to see how you think that someone is just perfect for you and yet you don't stand a chance. Thank you for your help. <3

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Recently things aren't going well at all from my perspective -> I sent him a text to ask him what was up, nothing much, and all I get is a seen with no response. And he recently added two new girls on Facebook, and one of them wrote on his timeline, publicly: "Thanks for adding us, handsome!" I think everything is gone for good and all I'm trying to do right now is move on the same way he is doing, apparently.

 

If anyone out here could help me with some advice on how to get someone out of your head, someone you thought was perfect for you and you have absolutely no chances with, then help me. It's just that, he was the first guy I ever fell for hard enough to flirt with him, and he was aware of that, and he even added oil to the fire several times, I think that he would have shut everything down if he was never interested. As a matter of fact, I fell so hard that I was up for anything -> to give it a shot, let go completely and see which way it goes, long distance relationship or an adventure, whatever, even to have sex with him although I never even kissed anyone to begin with... and now I just want him out of my head so that I can move on.

I wouldn't completely give up hope yet. A girl calling him handsome on facebook doesn't make them a couple. It's flirty, yeah, but some people are really, er, unsubtle in their flirtations. It doesn't even necessarily mean she's interested; she may just be flirty.

 

As for the texts, well - has he still not responded? Maybe he was busy and couldn't answer, and then forgot about it. I've done that. Try texting him again and asking what's going on, if he got your last message, etc. Not constantly, of course, but a couple (2-3 or so) texts a day for a couple of days isn't overbearing, especially if he's not responding when he used to before. Have you told him how you felt? It might help; men can be clueless about these things.

 

Honestly, from what you've written out, it sounds like he is (or at the very least was) very interested. Don't give up so quickly. But, if he really has moved on and has decided to do so by totally ignoring you, take solace in the fact that he was a cowardly and insensitive to begin with and you dodged a bullet. You deserve better than a ghoster.

 

Now, actually coping with the loss is hard. It's going to hurt and there's no quick fix-it to get him out of your head. Like any other loss, it'll take some time to get over it. The best course of action is to remember the truth. If he does just flat-out ghost you, you can do better and you will do better. If he ends up replying and saying he's not interested/he found a girlfriend/etc., then you've gained some valuable experience for finding and communicating with future partners. Remember that people sometimes fall out of love, and it's not a reflection on your worth as a person or a partner. Remember that he had to fall OUT of love with you, meaning that you ARE LOVABLE and you DO have a chance with your actually perfect someone. It just means you weren't the 'one' for this particular guy, and/or that he's not experienced/mature/whatever enough to differentiate between the initial infatuation that occurs the first few months of a relationship and the truly deep, through-thick-and-thin love that can follow. Or, it could have simply been the distance; LDRs are hard. Really hard. And not having the object of your affections there in front of you, especially during the first few months, makes it even harder. And most importantly, remember that just as he got over it, in time, so too will you.

 

Just stick to your routine; familiarity of things not related to the source of the pain can help to ease the pain IMO. Surround yourself with friends. And, while you can't go full-on escapist to avoid it forever, it's good to try to escape once in a while for your own sanity (it was for me, anyway). So, try to find something that will engage all of your senses for a few hours or so. I was fortunate enough to have had a concert to look forward to after someone did something similar to me. Go see a movie in a theater, or go to an arcade (you can go alone, though having a friend along might help). Play a really immersive video game, or a puzzle game that really requires your attention (Zelda games are great because they're 2-in-1!). Play a board game with someone. Read a book while soaking in the tub. Whatever can engage your brain as fully as possible for a couple of hours during the first, most painful days of the loss. Just don't go overboard. Oh, and DON'T go on dating websites or something to find a "replacement;" it doesn't help at all, it can actually make it worse, and that's not fair to the other person.

 

Hope this is helpful!

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Thank you. wub.gif Really, thank you, I never thought that getting it off my chest could be so useful. As for what I'm going to do, I still don't know. I wanted to give myself some time to think about what I'm going to do next, but the truth is, I don't want to think anymore. Maybe I've subconsciously given up already, maybe I haven't, and thinking won't get me anywhere, to be honest. I want to dedicate myself to my hobbies, be happy and just distance myself and my thoughts as far away from it all as possible. I believe that's what I need the most right now - some time to be on my own.

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George, a budgerigar I've had for more than half my life, passed away in my hands early yesterday morning. I've had a few budgies in my life, but this one was the first and only one to reach old age. I knew it was coming, he wasn't going to live forever after all. He was eerily quite, not twittering at the washing machine or jug in the kitchen when it boiled for the past week. He was 13-15 years old, can't recall exactly what year I obtained him, but he was young. He quite a small bird, even by budgie standards. Beautiful light green spangle. Hated being handled so much that he'd draw blood. Didn't even fight me as he struggled through his last breaths. I didn't know that death for birds was as violent as his seemed. I couldn't do anything to help him other than provide what I though was comfort.

 

Haven't cried yet, but the waterworks are threatening to happen at any time. Knowing my luck it'll be in public. Probably when I walk past the millet spray in the pet food isle. Or the corn. He loved corn and millet spray, would see it coming and wait patiently for me to bugger off before going at it. Not sure what I'm going to do with his mansion, it's 9 years old and I'm not going to get another bird. Don't think I can give them the attention they need. The house is going to be quieter now.

 

Going to have him cremated, he's been in my life long enough that burying him at a temporary residence seems wrong.

 

This is George, taken the day before yesterday.

user posted image user posted image

Pictures taken by my grandmother.

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I'm so sorry to hear that. Budgies are precious birds and George sounds like he was no exception. I cannot give advice as I have an unorthodox way of dealing with passed pets, but *hug*

 

On the subject of pets, my pet rat Dante is going to have his left hind paw amputated soon. He's had a nasty affliction that just will not go and I fear it's not just causing him pain and discomfort, but could spread to his ankle and even his bloodstream. I don't know how the procedure will go, and I hope it's the best choice.

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I'm so sorry to hear about George, darling! I know what it's like to lose a pet, I lost my first budgie to illness, a lovebird to a severe condition, both were very young, and the pain cannot be described. Sending you lots of hugs and I hope you'll remember him with so much love and a huge smile on your face. <3

And I also hope, rampaging_wyvern, that everything goes well for your precious little friend! <3

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I'm so sorry to hear that. Budgies are precious birds and George sounds like he was no exception. I cannot give advice as I have an unorthodox way of dealing with passed pets, but *hug*

 

On the subject of pets, my pet rat Dante is going to have his left hind paw amputated soon. He's had a nasty affliction that just will not go and I fear it's not just causing him pain and discomfort, but could spread to his ankle and even his bloodstream. I don't know how the procedure will go, and I hope it's the best choice.

Thank you rampaging wyvern, I appreciate the hug. By unorthodox do you mean taxidermy? I've seen you mention taxidermy in the past.

 

I'm wishing you and Dante all the best. While amputation comes across as an extreme measure initially, given the circumstances and the possibility of the affliction spreading, it sounds like it would give him the best possible chance at recovery. I'm not sure how amputation would impact ability to climb or walk in a rat, but given their intelligence he'd probably adjust to life in a relatively speedy manner.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about George, darling! I know what it's like to lose a pet, I lost my first budgie to illness, a lovebird to a severe condition, both were very young, and the pain cannot be described. Sending you lots of hugs and I hope you'll remember him with so much love and a huge smile on your face. <3

And I also hope, rampaging_wyvern, that everything goes well for your precious little friend! <3

Thank you as well *Silver Fox* for the hugs. He was one of six budgerigars that I kept and the only one I purchased from a breeder from a young age. The rest with exception of one were pet shop purchases, perhaps that in combination with my younger self not having a clue on how to take care of birds contributed to most of them dying young (one escaped). I'm appreciative that I could a least fix my husbandry practices with him and that he could live the rest of his life in comfort.

 

It hurts to look at his cage, I was so proud of myself for using my first pay packet to buy it. He seemed to thrive in that thing, turning from a timid bird to a more boisterous one. Trying to catch him to clean the cage became a dozen times more difficult, but the sturdy build of it in combination with the space he had was definitely worth the effort.

 

Do you have any pictures of your birds that you'd be comfortable with sharing? From what I've seen of your posts it sounds like your birds would have at least had a great caretaker. ^^

 

 

 

I've settled on which vessel his ashes will be kept in, it's an engraved wooden box. I haven't quite settled on what to have the plaque engraved with, other than his name. So many of the options had paw prints, or were shaped like cats or dogs. As much as knowing there's a unique option for those animals, it amazes me that there isn't much variety in terms of birds. I certainly wasn't prepared for what the expense will be, this is the first pet that's passed where I've been of an age where I'm financially liable for their well being.

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On the fourth of August last year my mother's friend, who was like an uncle to me all my life, drowned and disappeared in an attempt to save a complete stranger's life, but sadly they were both swept away by Danube into the Black sea in Romania and their bodies were never found. As she couldn't wait any longer, regardless that she never got the body of her son to arrange a funeral, his mother organized a memorial for him today, and both my mother and I went. I don't think that I was really aware of what happened to him until today, I was more in a state of shock and disbelief all this time, but when it all started I remembered him, my late grandma, and my college friend who passed away on the 17th of February, both him and her on the same day, and I broke down. I couldn't hold back tears and I managed to calm down only when I lit three candles so that they could all rest in peace. It's always been hard for me to cope with the loss of someone I cared about, and this... this was probably one of the saddest days of my life.

Edited by *Silver Fox*

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On the fourth of August last year my mother's friend, who was like an uncle to me all my life, drowned and disappeared in an attempt to save a complete stranger's life, but sadly they were both swept away by Danube into the Black sea in Romania and their bodies were never found. As she couldn't wait any longer, regardless that she never got the body of her son to arrange a funeral, his mother organized a memorial for him today, and both my mother and I went. I don't think that I was really aware of what happened to him until today, I was more in a state of shock and disbelief all this time, but when it all started I remembered him, my late grandma, and my college friend who passed away on the 17th of February, both him and her on the same day, and I broke down. I couldn't hold back tears and I managed to calm down only when I lit three candles so that they could all rest in peace. It's always been hard for me to cope with the loss of someone I cared about, and this... this was probably one of the saddest days of my life.

We're here for you Silver. I totally understand the feeling...

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Just need to vent a little.

 

BF, if *you* want my taxes itemized, *you* can do the dratted thing! Back the eff off!

 

 

*self employed independent contractor delivery driver who uses her own car

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Sometimes I feel utterly worthless. Who am I in comparison to all the geniuses and revolutionary minds out there? Before I die I want to do something significant to contribute, make a mark, do my part that isn't some empty thing. I don't want to end up hovering around with a job that's enjoyable but useless. I want to go into science, or robotics, or some sort of profession which could have me make something of myself and contribute. But I feel like I could never do it. My mathematic skills aren't terrible, but they aren't great either. You need to have a decent grasp of mathematics for a lot of things and I don't. I'm good with literature and writing, sure, but fictional stories aren't really going to do anything. Language is a form of communication, yet at the same time I loathe to be stuck with other unfamiliar people for too long. I'm proficient at language yet I don't like to socialize. I wish to go into sciences or mechanics yet my mathematic skill is inadequate. I feel like I'm floundering in an ocean sometimes. In short, I want to do something significant for humanity/the earth/somewhere that can actually be useful. But I don't have any of the right combinations to do so.

 

Sorry, I just really needed to vent. Nobody to talk to about this ninja.gif

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Sometimes I feel utterly worthless. Who am I in comparison to all the geniuses and revolutionary minds out there? Before I die I want to do something significant to contribute, make a mark, do my part that isn't some empty thing. I don't want to end up hovering around with a job that's enjoyable but useless. I want to go into science, or robotics, or some sort of profession which could have me make something of myself and contribute. But I feel like I could never do it. My mathematic skills aren't terrible, but they aren't great either. You need to have a decent grasp of mathematics for a lot of things and I don't. I'm good with literature and writing, sure, but fictional stories aren't really going to do anything. Language is a form of communication, yet at the same time I loathe to be stuck with other unfamiliar people for too long. I'm proficient at language yet I don't like to socialize. I wish to go into sciences or mechanics yet my mathematic skill is inadequate. I feel like I'm floundering in an ocean sometimes. In short, I want to do something significant for humanity/the earth/somewhere that can actually be useful. But I don't have any of the right combinations to do so.

 

Sorry, I just really needed to vent. Nobody to talk to about this ninja.gif

You aren't alone in feeling like this-- truly. I struggled with the same sentiment all through college, because I felt like everyone around me knew exactly what they wanted to do with themselves, and I was stuck with the feeling like I would never amount to anything worthwhile or notable. But please, PLEASE don't let that hold you down or keep you from getting anywhere. I was a biology major at first because I wanted to be a veterinarian, but when I took chemistry class, I was utterly terrible at it. I'm not good at math, either, and decided to become an English major. Most people really don't have that singular goal in life where they put all of their energy and effort into achieving that one shining climax of their life. It's very rare. That doesn't mean you won't ever have that moment, though. And please don't sell yourself short. If you enjoy literature and writing, don't wave it off as something not worthwhile. Language and communication has a HUGE impact on our society and our world. In fact, it might be the MOST important thing we've created as a species for our world. Without it, we would not have anything else. How can we make huge scientific achievements if we don't have the language to share it? How can we even dream about creating or discovering something new if we don't have the inspiration to chase after it?

You and your thoughts are worth while and valid. I found my niche as a writer for LGBTQA+ young adult fantasy stories. Yeah, it's a small niche, and statistics wise it's not a very large community that I'm writing for. But its the impact and the need that I'm providing, because as a young queer person it was something that I wanted growing up. Your contribution doesn't need to be grandiose and internationally recognized in order to be important and valuable and useful to the world.

And, if you really want to go into science, no one is stopping you but yourself. You don't have to be a mathematical genius to be a scientist. You just have to love science and want to explore the world with your curiosity. Is mathematics useful? Sure. But we also have computers that are pretty good with that stuff too, and you (usually) have peers and teams to help you through the areas you might not be as strong in. (And as an example, literally all of the veterinarians that I work for now all use calculators for their work-- so you don't have to put all of your numbers through your brain in order to do the work needed)

You can most definitely make a significant contribution to humanity with the exact skill set you have. You don't need to be anyone else but you to do so.

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Sometimes I feel utterly worthless. Who am I in comparison to all the geniuses and revolutionary minds out there? Before I die I want to do something significant to contribute, make a mark, do my part that isn't some empty thing. I don't want to end up hovering around with a job that's enjoyable but useless. I want to go into science, or robotics, or some sort of profession which could have me make something of myself and contribute. But I feel like I could never do it. My mathematic skills aren't terrible, but they aren't great either. You need to have a decent grasp of mathematics for a lot of things and I don't. I'm good with literature and writing, sure, but fictional stories aren't really going to do anything. Language is a form of communication, yet at the same time I loathe to be stuck with other unfamiliar people for too long. I'm proficient at language yet I don't like to socialize. I wish to go into sciences or mechanics yet my mathematic skill is inadequate. I feel like I'm floundering in an ocean sometimes. In short, I want to do something significant for humanity/the earth/somewhere that can actually be useful. But I don't have any of the right combinations to do so.

 

Sorry, I just really needed to vent. Nobody to talk to about this ninja.gif

I'm just going to start this off saying that I'm a computer science/software engineering student and I've spent the past 4 years studying to be either a sysadmin or software dev and that I'm sorry if some parts don't make sence - English isn't my native language and I have trouble putting some of these thoughts into words.

 

None of these fields I listed above require amazing math skills contrary to popular belief (at least where I live people think that computer science is just math math math math). A lot of the times, and I speak only for technology fields, things require more of a "sense of logic" than "literal math", in the way that you are given a set of instructions or commands and you have to figure out how to use these to do a specific task.

The same applies to robotics and electrical engineering: you're given a bunch of parts and you use them to build something that will carry out a specific task. This is the basics, math WILL show up and it does exist, I won't deny that, but how complex it is heavily depends on what you do inside these fields. If you're a front end web developer, you won't need as much math as a developer that works on scientific software.

 

But then you may say "But those fields, even inside CS, that require less math are less important". Well, are they? Google needs a team of front end web devs and designers too. NASA needs a team of sysadmins too. For every big project, every scientific advancing, there is always more than 1 person involved, there's always several roles of extreme importance, even if they're not always noticed. Maybe if you say something nice today to a person on the street they'll go to work more motivated to continue working on cancer research, maybe that good mood will help them make a major breakthrough.

 

Maybe I've gone a little bit too far with this but I believe each of us matters more than we think. Not on a cosmic level, but as people. I think that the main goal of life is to be happy and make those around you happy, because not everyone is a president or a scientist or a genius, but everyone has feelings and a personal story. Build your story so that you may look back in life and see a happy person surrounded by happy people.

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Someone from Turkey got into my google account and it's been freaking me out all morning. I changed all my passwords, but I'm still on edge. Is there more I can do? My nerves are completely frayed.

 

All I can say is thank god my phone alerted me. They had about 40 mins to access my google. I'm hoping its not too much time to do a lot of damage. I don't do anything serious with money or business online.

 

 

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Someone from Turkey got into my google account and it's been freaking me out all morning. I changed all my passwords, but I'm still on edge. Is there more I can do? My nerves are completely frayed.

 

All I can say is thank god my phone alerted me. They had about 40 mins to access my google. I'm hoping its not too much time to do a lot of damage. I don't do anything serious with money or business online.

There's several things you can do:

1. Change your passwords to new, unused and very long ones. They don't need to be unreadable or full of strange characters and numbers as long as they're very long. You can even make it a memorable sentence if you don't use a password manager, something like Good_Luck_Bruteforcing_This_Passw0rd42.

2. Set up a recovery email if you don't have one already, make sure it is secure and has a strong password.

3. Set up a recovery phone number either in place of the other email or along with it.

4. Scan your devices for keyloggers and other viruses, if you have an android phone make sure you're not using any extremely shady apps and that your apps aren't requesting weird permissions (this is for Android 6+, things like a flashlight app requiring contacts and email permissions, etc)

5. Change the passwords of things your Google account is linked too, person may have attempted to access something like this

 

Other than this you should be fine. I'd check all Google services for new content (such as a weird new file on Drive or a ton of likes on youtube vids you've never seen before or even reviews on Google play) and for received/sent emails. If you find something shady you can PM me and I'd be happy to help you figure out what it is and how to get rid of it.

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You can also use two-step log-in where you need your phone to log in. Enter password then a code will be sent to your phone and you put that in too.

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It never occured to me to use a sentance for a password. I might defenitely try that. I'll also set up the phone access in the morning for the two-way access.

 

I've done everything else, and ive double checked every site. Im feeling a little more secure, or least i will once i change the passwords again in the morning. Thank you both. happy.gif

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. I'm good with literature and writing, sure, but fictional stories aren't really going to do anything.

Maybe you're striving for some Martin Luther King achievement but fictional stories make people like me very happy. It might not seem like much to you but for me it means the world. I'm the sort of person who struggles to survive in a world not made for them. Everything affects me a lot, I have a hard time trying to accept this is the place we live in. A normal day for someone else means emotional overload for me.

 

Reading for me is escapism. I value simple, fun, adventure stories where the good guys struggle through troubles to ultimately win. So by all means, write. No matter how small an action might seem, if you're making someone happy or their life a little more bearable, it was worth it.

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