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Obscure_Trash

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Where are you located? Some state universities and mental health hospitals have free or near-free Resident Outpatient Programs that allow you to see psychiatrists in their last year of residency. You get competent, professional care for $5 an hour, they can prescribe meds, and a lot of anti-depressants are on the $4 generic lists. If you're near Baltimore, Maryland, I can give more specific instructions on getting into Sheppard-Pratt's ROP.

 

Don't give up. It's a pain in the ass, but you can find treatment in most places.

It would be a completely viable option if I was located in the USA. I'll be moving back to America (within a month or two) so it might be a nice option, now that you mention it. I had no idea. I'll be in California, so I'll do my research and see if this solution works out for me. Thanks for the recommendation.

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So right now I'm not in a good place. I don't really feel much anymore, everything feels the same hollow way except for a few things a day. These days I'm just going through the motions much of the time. It likely started when my now Ex Best friend dumped me in November 2016, and spiraled from there.

 

It doesn't help that I'm in the worst state for economic growth and can't get a job to move out of it. My dreams are so much better now to stay in, it's hard to wake up in the same boring town every day. My ex room mate also chased me out of my old apartment, so I'm stuck at my parents house. Unfortunately I now have a few weeks to find a way to afford a new living situation, less than two months after a wedding that ended with my ex best friend dumping me (her wedding).

 

Weddings wipe out savings quick.

I think part of my problem is my walls are going back up and my defenses are on high alert after that post wedding betrayal. Everything else is just overwhelming me. The worst part is I know logically if I just sold my stuff off, things would be easier and I could afford to move.

 

But any actions lately seem to take so much energy, even taking pictures of things to sell. Today I just went through clothes to try to find things to list, just to try to start the process to get somewhere.

It's like this area is draining me, because there is no upwards mobility here. But I can't move without a well paying job, but I can't get a job without experience, but I can't get experience without a job, and you know the rest.

 

I'm the kind of person where lack of interesting and new things, lack of opportunity, it slowly kills me inside. I feel like I'm suffocating, and even looking at pictures of places that used to cheer me up doesn't help anymore. I just need to get away from here, far away, to somewhere new. Because part of my issue is I'm trapped in a state I can't stand, and I feel so alone. This kind of life isn't one I can thrive in, this state isn't one I can survive in, but I can't seem to catch a break to escape it.

 

I've got a therapy appointment hopefully soon, but right now I just...I don't know what to do anymore.

 

I just needed to vent..

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So i'm currently going through what's apparently called "Hell's Itch". It's that point after you get a sunburn and the skin is healing.

 

I just spent half an hour scouring the internet, and i've read posts from those who have been drafted in the army and have had shrapnel blasted into them, and they say they'd rather that than this itch. I cannot stop squirming from how badly my back itches, i feel like peeling off an inch of skin just to relieve it.

 

I woke up my mum half an hour ago to ask if she could rub this anti-itch ointment i found, and she did so. It felt really good at first, the itch disappeared and my back felt better. But after no more than a minute, I got the most intense burning pain I have ever experienced, even worse than the actual burn itself. And this is coming from someone who suffers from chronic pain.

 

Turns out the ointment had bloody menthol in it. Note this; menthol stings on raw, sensitive skin. I ran to the shower to wash the ointment off, in so much pain I was shaking and sobbing while furiously wiping my back.

 

So now i'm in bed at 3am, back to squirming from this hellish itch, hoping that an allergy medication of mine will provide some relief so I can sleep. I don't think i'll be going out into the sun for a while. Also, just to say - I did put on sunscreen, and lots of it. I was in the sun for only an hour. The australian sun has no mercy.

 

After that event, i'm gonna gently rub my back against the wall until I either pass out, or this medicine miraculously relieves the itching. Either one would be a blessing, i'm already reeling from my normal medication not working and being unable to feel happy.

Sorry I'm replying to this late, hope your skin's feeling better.

 

But a word of advice for sunburn.

ALOE VERA.

 

Buy Aloe Vera gel, keep it in the fridge, apply heaps often, you can't overdo it. Like smear that on every hour.

 

It's the best stuff ever for skinburn. Hands down. So soothing and takes the bite of the burn out and prevents the peeling stage.

 

(BTW I'm over the ditch in NZ, I have family in Aussie c:)

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its a first world problem really.

 

But I need some technical help. Just not getting it. I been trying to read up on the subject but there is so much on it that I am confused. I know what I want to do but I can't seem to do it. I am faced with people choosing to help with the wrong things - things I can easily do myself and not with the things I need. I find myself being unable to post it without needless remarks from people who think they are being funny.

 

On top of this I lost an expensive fish I really wanted - heart broken with that. I want to get out of my apartment and I damn well need a huge ass hug and I am not getting it.

 

I am just been crying for two hours straight because I am unable to figure out what it is I am do to to fix the problem. WHere I am to fix the problem.

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@Starscream What kind of technical help do you need? Also, I'm sorry about your fish - I have one and I adore him.

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Things change.

 

I have to learn that things change and I have to change with them, whether I want to or not.

Edited by rampaging wyvern

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You know what? I think I just miss too many things right now

 

My dog suddenly passed away in December. I've had him pretty much almost my whole life and I considered him my best friend. He was also one of the only constants in my life and just...gosh just my sweet loyal funny little companion. I miss him so SO much

 

My grandparents passed away last year and along with them we lost some family traditions and relations with other family members. I miss them all

 

I completely fell out of contact with all my friends save my closest one whom I only speak to briefly and visit a handful of times a year, growing less and less frequent it feels like. I miss them all, espcially my closest one as she is still super important to me (and I now realize I relied on her more then I should have...). I miss having friends and having people to hang out with

 

My parents arent perfect of course but they are darn well close. Overall theyre amazing and I do love them with all my heart. But I do miss the past relationship...I miss them helping me out when I needed it instead of yelling at me that I should know this by now. I miss them not taking me seriously if im upset/whatever. I miss them praising me for acomplishments. And so on

 

I've always been shy but at least before, as long as it wasnt a group or a one on one chat, I could talk. I could talk lots with friends and family. If things got bad I could always hide behind my friend mentioned above and things would be okay. But long story short, things went south and now im scared of pretty much everything ever and leaving the house scares me and i can barely post on the internet or talk to anyone outside of my sibling or mom and I cant get a new job even with my dad verbally attacking me and threatning me every single day about it and had to drop out of college and...and

 

Just

 

I get that things change. Sometimes for better or for worse. In my case, its entirely worse though. I miss so much. There is too many bad things going on. Though I guess maybe i'm just a big baby who got a bit spoiled when I was younger and doesnt know how to handle life and now i'm a failure, a socially anxious mess who is completely lost and is finding it harder and harder to stay positive about this outcome lately..but who knows

Edited by aerolyx

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/personal rant, sorry if it doesn't make much sense, don't mind me please.

Everything was going just fine this morning. But she had to throw a temper tantrum over nothing, right? And insult me along the way, thanks a lot for that (I just needed to feel like I don't deserve anything again...). I hate it when I trust people with my personal problems, especially when they're serious, and they find a way to make it all about themselves. I also hate it when adults do not act like adults. All our lives we're supposed to think adults should be serious, mature and conscientious individuals when really many of them have proven to be quite the opposite. I also hate that I have worked hard for my body and going to the gym but that my day was so stressful, I ended up bingeing. I wish my life was different. I wish I was different. I wish I was surrounded by better people because those close to me make me feel more alone than anything or anyone. I kind of want to become more independent in every way (financial, emotional, mental state, etc.) so that I can move away to a place I've never been and forget about everything and everyone that hurts me. I hope that one day I can free myself from the pain.

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I got into a fight--or something--last night with my friend. He made a comment about something I had had a lot of trouble with and was not happy with myself for. He apologized immediately after but it still got to me. I don't know how much I want to have a relationship with someone who is willing to say things like that when upset. I would like to just forget about it and move on but it has been bothering me all day.

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Thought my crush on this guy was gone.

It definitely is not. Not by a long shot. Ive been trying to get rid of it for six months.

And now hes talking to me about his crush on someone else.

Kind of want to die slightly. He used to have a crush on me. Then things got complicated and to say the least now he doesnt.

 

Sigh. I shouldve known better than to let any sort of hope remain.

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I got into a fight--or something--last night with my friend. He made a comment about something I had had a lot of trouble with and was not happy with myself for. He apologized immediately after but it still got to me. I don't know how much I want to have a relationship with someone who is willing to say things like that when upset. I would like to just forget about it and move on but it has been bothering me all day.

*pats* There, there! Take your time to move on. Forgiveness makes you better. It isn't just for the offender, but also for the forgiver. It heals the connection between the two. He apologised. See if it is sincere. And forgive him. Take note that this does not mean you should forget. Most say that forgive and forget, but then if one forgets, one opens herself to future offences. You should forgive but take note of the offence so next time you can be careful. Note that this isn't a licence to be hostile to him and keep on pestering him with it.

 

user posted image

 

Thought my crush on this guy was gone.

It definitely is not. Not by a long shot. Ive been trying to get rid of it for six months.

And now hes talking to me about his crush on someone else.

Kind of want to die slightly. He used to have a crush on me. Then things got complicated and to say the least now he doesnt.

 

Sigh. I shouldve known better than to let any sort of hope remain.

Oh! These feelings never truly go away. These feelings are unpredictable to say the least. I am not an expert and I got no advice to say. I'm just going to say that you shouldn't beat yourself for hoping. smile.gif Sometimes good things happen when you hope (i.e. hope used in this context)!

Edited by georgexu94

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I am dealing with generalized anxiety in my life exacerbated by three situations. Number one, it is week 2 into winter term and because of the hellish weather we are having in the Portland area right now I have had exactly .75 days of class. I am sick and ****ing tired of feeling like I'm stuck at home because the roads are crap, the buses are running chained, and classes keep getting cancelled. Number two, I finally called her bluff in regards to my psycho censorkip.gif* of a boss. She is power tripping and I called her out on her behavior towards me because I'm tired of being treated like a recalcitrant child when I deserve respect as a human being. Just because she's a manager doesn't mean she can act like that, so I've got my union involved and the store manager on alert that I am calling for a full sit down with him, the assistant manager, the union, and the censorkip.gif*. I'm also in the process of filing a grievance against the store manager, because I've tried to get him to deal with this and have been brushed off or told 'I'm tired of hearing you two fight, you just need to get along' and that is so less than professional. Number three, I am still looking to find a roommate to replace my former meth-head roommate from hell whom I had to call the cops on both on Christmas Eve and literally right at midnight on New Year's Day. The second one was because his 30 days notice that he gave us in writing expired at 11:59pm on 12/31/16 and we didn't feel safe with him in the house. He refused to leave, so we were done playing games with him. All in all, I need hugs and sanity.

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@ladyvidel: sad.gif Aww, you've been facing extreme sutuations that can not only dampen anyone's spirits but really give the stress. *huggles*

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Where do I begin?

 

Perhaps the day before my 1st Wedding Anniversary...

 

On November 1st, my (now ex) husband and I bought about $70 worth of alcohol to celebrate our 1st year being married. We also bought steaks and had a wonderful dinner. We invited 2 of his friends over. We played some poker, had a few drinks, and basically had a fun time. 11 PM rolls around and his friends go home. My ex then downed half a liter of the cinnamon-y liquor, Fireball in roughly 5 seconds. He becomes very drunk, very fast. Within minutes, he's being odd. He's talking in weird accents, and generally being "funny." I thought nothing of it. Fast forward 2 hours, he's still blitzed out of his mind but I eventually get him into bed (with quite the struggle). We lay there for 20 minutes and suddenly he's moving again. His whole demeanor had changed. He was no longer the comical drunk. He turned into this very mean, nasty drunk. I'd rather not say in detail what happened, but I'll just say this: He sexually assaulted me and physically hurt me. Later in the day, he begs me "Not to tell anyone." and that he will "Make it up to me." Being a rather gullible, influenceable, vulnerable person I believed every word he said and didn't report him to the proper authorities (stupid, I know).

 

Fast forward a month and a half and on December 20th, I catch him cheating on me with this young lady. I was enraged, as any wife/girlfriend would (AND SHOULD!) be. We argue for about an hour or so. Tears. Hurt. Betrayal. And of course once again he spouted off these lies to me "I won't do it again!" - "I'll break up with her!" - "I love you!" Again, my stupid self believed him.

 

On the 29th of December I accidentally found out he was still texting/sexting this young lady. I was done at this point. I called the police and reported him for the earlier incident of him sexually assaulting me. THREE officers laughed in my face and told me that "You're only saying he raped you because he's cheating on you and because he doesn't want to be with you." This is why rape victims do not come forward 99.9% of the time! No one believes them! The authorities want to take the side of the perpetrator!

 

I decided to go to my ex's Probation Officer (he was on probation for an unrelated charge) and reported the incident to him, since the police were not helping. The PO placed a warrant out for my ex's arrest. I went home. Later in the day, I go to open my front door, and I hear three individuals upstairs (I live in an apartment complex with 3 flights of stairs) talking about me. My ex and 2 of his friends. They were threatening to KILL me. Hurt me in any way they could. They were enraged that I would do something like this. They talked about everything from throwing all of my crap outside, stabbing me, etc. I called 911 and my ex was thrown into jail.

 

A day later, my ex called me from jail BEGGING me to take him back. He cried. He made me feel sorry for him. He wanted to take me back. He would stop cheating on me. He told me to tell his PO that I lied about the whole thing. I am a stupid person because I actually believed his lies ONCE AGAIN. I got him out of jail by recanting my story.

 

Fast forward 5 or so days, and I catch my ex AGAIN with the SAME DAMN WOMAN. At this point I was DONE for REAL this time. I was not going to cover for my ex any more. I was not going to be a victim any longer. I needed justice to be served.

 

Monday, January 16th, my mom and I went to the police station and asked for an investigative officer that didn't know me prior. I wrote my statement, talked about what happened, and went on my way.

 

Yesterday the 17th, I was on the phone with Customer Service for various services because my ex started messing with my online accounts. I was on the phone for over 5 hours trying to get everything resolved. He tried getting my phone shut off, he tried posting nasty things with my Facebook account, and the list goes on. He was trying everything he could to hurt me.

 

Today, the 18th was the icing on the cake. About 2 hours ago, I received threatening text messages from my ex. He called me dirty names and told me to go kill myself. I called the police, his PO, and everyone else I could to try and get this stupidity to stop! He even went as far as making sexually explicit Craigslist advertisements using my phone number and MY MOM'S! My elderly mom damn near had a heart attack when random dudes off the internet were sending her nude photos.

 

Finally, I got a hold of his PO at about 12:40 PM today. His PO told me to screenshot the texts, send them to him, he'd get a warrant out for my ex's arrest, and that he was going to have the police send the sexual assault report to him. I should be going to trial within the next month or so, depending on how speedy they make this case.

 

MAYBE, just MAYBE this thing will be done and over with and I can get a decent night's sleep.

 

Before anyone calls me what I already called myself (stupid), just take in consideration that I am a disabled woman. I have mental disabilities that make me vulnerable as a person. My husband was an abuser and an aggressor. Sometimes it is hard for victims to leave abusive relationships. I have finally left mine, thank goodness.

 

TL;DR - I was in an abusive relationship, both mentally and physically, and my ex husband is still harassing me even outside of the relationship. I reported him to the police. Hopefully I can move on soon.

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Oh my god. I'm so sorry he did this to you. I don't really know what else to say.

I hope he's under arrest now so you're safe, and I hope there are trustworthy people near you who can support you.

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I'm having some problems, again, but being here has helped me a lot last times, and your advices really had a good effect.

 

So I have stopped eating at noon for quite a while now. Instead of going eat at the cafeteria, I just go to the library and play on my computer. I know it's bad, but my parents keep restricting my computer time. It started in November, and I continued doing it since. Today, we had vaccines and even if they repeated to eat, I didn't and almost passed out. I've told myself numerous time to go eat, but when it's noon, I just continue to go to the library. I already have bad grades and It seems like that bad habbit didn't help either. I don't want to talk about it to my parents because I know they will be really mad and I'll be in trouble.

 

There is also something else... Something that never really happened to me. I have no clue what to do about it...

 

kreep fell in love

 

Pretty much all my friends are in couple with someone, but I've never really been in love. I know it's strange, but I never felt love before. I've always been a lonely person, I didn't have a lot of friends and I prefered being alone on the weekends than going to see a friend, so that's why I guess I've never needed a girlfriend, but now...

 

There's this girl I know. She's nice and kinda cute, but each time I see her, it just makes my day brighter and gives me a smile (I'm not really a person that smiles a lot). I've been thinking about her a lot recently, more than anyone else before, and I am really thinking I felt in love. However, I have no clue what to say or do to show her. Of course, I could just go to her and tell her, but I'd never have the courage to do that. Should I tell her, do something else or just forget about it and stay alone, like I've always been? Besides, I have no clue if she likes me too. I am not really a pretty guy, or someone who does a lot of sport, or someone with good grades... I'm just the class geek who fixes teacher's computer when they have a problem! And in most stories, the geek never gets the nice girls... I just don't know what to do...

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I'm having some problems, again, but being here has helped me a lot last times, and your advices really had a good effect.

 

So I have stopped eating at noon for quite a while now. Instead of going eat at the cafeteria, I just go to the library and play on my computer. I know it's bad, but my parents keep restricting my computer time. It started in November, and I continued doing it since. Today, we had vaccines and even if they repeated to eat, I didn't and almost passed out. I've told myself numerous time to go eat, but when it's noon, I just continue to go to the library. I already have bad grades and It seems like that bad habbit didn't help either. I don't want to talk about it to my parents because I know they will be really mad and I'll be in trouble.

 

There is also something else... Something that never really happened to me. I have no clue what to do about it...

 

kreep fell in love

 

Pretty much all my friends are in couple with someone, but I've never really been in love. I know it's strange, but I never felt love before. I've always been a lonely person, I didn't have a lot of friends and I prefered being alone on the weekends than going to see a friend, so that's why I guess I've never needed a girlfriend, but now...

 

There's this girl I know. She's nice and kinda cute, but each time I see her, it just makes my day brighter and gives me a smile (I'm not really a person that smiles a lot). I've been thinking about her a lot recently, more than anyone else before, and I am really thinking I felt in love. However, I have no clue what to say or do to show her. Of course, I could just go to her and tell her, but I'd never have the courage to do that. Should I tell her, do something else or just forget about it and stay alone, like I've always been? Besides, I have no clue if she likes me too. I am not really a pretty guy, or someone who does a lot of sport, or someone with good grades... I'm just the class geek who fixes teacher's computer when they have a problem! And in most stories, the geek never gets the nice girls... I just don't know what to do...

i cant help you out with the love part but i can give you advice with the eating

 

im underweight and really skinny and have problems eating too and with me electronics come before eating. what i did at school to help with that was either sneak food into the library, go to a teachers classroom who would let me borrow their computer or use the computer lab and bring food into there, or i would be on my phone.

 

as for talking to your parents im sorry but im not much help there either

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I'm not too good with support or problem solving, but I'll offer my advice to everyone since the last time I came here it really helped me.

 

Sometimes, if you've been keeping things to yourself for a long time, it can feel amazing to finally let go of all the burdens by telling someone. For me, just typing out my thoughts on this thread was enough, but as long as you find somewhere and someone nice and supportive, it should be fine. Of course, telling people doesn't work for all problems, but sometimes it can help with ones that are "in your head".

 

All in all, everyone here really deserves a hug! I can tell that each and every one of the people here, whether they're going through hard times or giving out support, is an amazing person! I really hope that everyone's situation gets better, even if their situation wasn't bad to begin with!

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I get that things change. Sometimes for better or for worse. In my case, its entirely worse though. I miss so much. There is too many bad things going on. Though I guess maybe i'm just a big baby who got a bit spoiled when I was younger and doesnt know how to handle life and now i'm a failure,  a socially anxious mess who is completely lost and is finding it harder and harder to stay positive about this outcome lately..but who knows

I totally get where you're coming from, and I know this isn't the advice thread, but can I suggest you do something new? Something for you? It doesn't have to be anything social like going out and making new friends - nothing to turn you into an anxious mess. It can be anything from buying yourself a new game or learning a new hobby. Look up youtube videos and learn how to crochet. Sign up for duolingo and learn Spanish. Treat yourself to a movie by yourself sometimes (gotta say, I love going to the movies alone - so relaxing). Watch the food channel and make yourself a nice fancy dinner. Do something for yourself. Remember that plenty has passed and there's plenty to miss, yes - but don't forget that you're still young and life still has plenty of time to offer great stuff for you. You're struggling now, but that doesn't mean you will always be struggling.

 

I found a quote a while ago that I really like, and maybe it'll help you.

user posted image

 

An arrow can be shot only by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great. 

 

        So just take a deep breath and keep aiming.

 

 

/personal rant, sorry if it doesn't make much sense, don't mind me please.

Everything was going just fine this morning. But she had to throw a temper tantrum over nothing, right? And insult me along the way, thanks a lot for that (I just needed to feel like I don't deserve anything again...). I hate it when I trust people with my personal problems, especially when they're serious, and they find a way to make it all about themselves. I also hate it when adults do not act like adults. All our lives we're supposed to think adults should be serious, mature and conscientious individuals when really many of them have proven to be quite the opposite. I also hate that I have worked hard for my body and going to the gym but that my day was so stressful, I ended up bingeing. I wish my life was different. I wish I was different. I wish I was surrounded by better people because those close to me make me feel more alone than anything or anyone. I kind of want to become more independent in every way (financial, emotional, mental state, etc.) so that I can move away to a place I've never been and forget about everything and everyone that hurts me. I hope that one day I can free myself from the pain.

I hope that you get that fresh start you want, too. And I believe you will get that chance. <3

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I got into a fight--or something--last night with my friend. He made a comment about something I had had a lot of trouble with and was not happy with myself for. He apologized immediately after but it still got to me. I don't know how much I want to have a relationship with someone who is willing to say things like that when upset. I would like to just forget about it and move on but it has been bothering me all day.

It's allowed to bother you. You're allowed to be angry. We often find out the rawest truths about who we and others are when we or they are angry. Whatever decision you made or will make, I know you're doing it because it's what's best for you. <3

 

Thought my crush on this guy was gone.

It definitely is not. Not by a long shot. Ive been trying to get rid of it for six months.

And now hes talking to me about his crush on someone else.

Kind of want to die slightly. He used to have a crush on me. Then things got complicated and to say the least now he doesnt.

 

Sigh. I shouldve known better than to let any sort of hope remain.

*hugs* Hey, if you need some space from him to get over him or just need to set some boundaries and not talk about stuff like crushes with him for a while, you're totally allowed to! Your feelings do matter. o3o

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I am dealing with generalized anxiety in my life exacerbated by three situations. Number one, it is week 2 into winter term and because of the hellish weather we are having in the Portland area right now I have had exactly .75 days of class. I am sick and ****ing tired of feeling like I'm stuck at home because the roads are crap, the buses are running chained, and classes keep getting cancelled. Number two, I finally called her bluff in regards to my p****o censorkip.gif* of a boss. She is power tripping and I called her out on her behavior towards me because I'm tired of being treated like a recalcitrant child when I deserve respect as a human being. Just because she's a manager doesn't mean she can act like that, so I've got my union involved and the store manager on alert that I am calling for a full sit down with him, the assistant manager, the union, and the censorkip.gif*. I'm also in the process of filing a grievance against the store manager, because I've tried to get him to deal with this and have been brushed off or told 'I'm tired of hearing you two fight, you just need to get along' and that is so less than professional. Number three, I am still looking to find a roommate to replace my former meth-head roommate from hell whom I had to call the cops on both on Christmas Eve and literally right at midnight on New Year's Day. The second one was because his 30 days notice that he gave us in writing expired at 11:59pm on 12/31/16 and we didn't feel safe with him in the house. He refused to leave, so we were done playing games with him. All in all, I need hugs and sanity.

Whoooo-boy that is a lot to have to deal with! No wonder you needed to rant and ask for a hug. *huggles and huggles and huggles* <3

 

TL;DR - I was in an abusive relationship, both mentally and physically, and my ex husband is still harassing me even outside of the relationship. I reported him to the police. Hopefully I can move on soon.

You have no idea how incredibly proud of you I am for being able to get out of such a relationship.

 

I'm having some problems, again, but being here has helped me a lot last times, and your advices really had a good effect.

 

So I have stopped eating at noon for quite a while now. Instead of going eat at the cafeteria, I just go to the library and play on my computer. I know it's bad, but my parents keep restricting my computer time. It started in November, and I continued doing it since. Today, we had vaccines and even if they repeated to eat, I didn't and almost passed out. I've told myself numerous time to go eat, but when it's noon, I just continue to go to the library. I already have bad grades and It seems like that bad habbit didn't help either. I don't want to talk about it to my parents because I know they will be really mad and I'll be in trouble.

You know what you're doing is unhealthy. It's already negatively impacted you physically in a very obvious way. If you can't beat this on your own, then you need to ask for help. Talking to your guidance counselor would be a good start.

 

Unfortunately, no one can magically fix this for you. You've recognized that there's a problem, and that's a huge first step. Now you have to be willing to put in the work to try and fix this. It's not bad to ask for help, you just have to be able to do it. Fixing this, in the end, does come down on you, but there's no shame in getting help to do so.

 

(Your parents are going to be mad for a reason - because they care. Maybe they should know how much you're hurting yourself so they can help hold you accountable?)

 

There is also something else... Something that never really happened to me. I have no clue what to do about it...

 

kreep fell in love

 

Pretty much all my friends are in couple with someone, but I've never really been in love. I know it's strange, but I never felt love before. I've always been a lonely person, I didn't have a lot of friends and I prefered being alone on the weekends than going to see a friend, so that's why I guess I've never needed a girlfriend, but now...

 

There's this girl I know. She's nice and kinda cute, but each time I see her, it just makes my day brighter and gives me a smile (I'm not really a person that smiles a lot). I've been thinking about her a lot recently, more than anyone else before, and I am really thinking I felt in love. However, I have no clue what to say or do to show her. Of course, I could just go to her and tell her, but I'd never have the courage to do that. Should I tell her, do something else or just forget about it and stay alone, like I've always been? Besides, I have no clue if she likes me too. I am not really a pretty guy, or someone who does a lot of sport, or someone with good grades... I'm just the class geek who fixes teacher's computer when they have a problem! And in most stories, the geek never gets the nice girls... I just don't know what to do...

 

Are you already friends with her? Do you already talk to her? Because going up and saying hi to someone is always a good start. I suggest just getting to know her!

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There is also something else... Something that never really happened to me. I have no clue what to do about it...

 

kreep fell in love

 

Pretty much all my friends are in couple with someone, but I've never really been in love. I know it's strange, but I never felt love before. I've always been a lonely person, I didn't have a lot of friends and I prefered being alone on the weekends than going to see a friend, so that's why I guess I've never needed a girlfriend, but now...

 

There's this girl I know. She's nice and kinda cute, but each time I see her, it just makes my day brighter and gives me a smile (I'm not really a person that smiles a lot). I've been thinking about her a lot recently, more than anyone else before, and I am really thinking I felt in love. However, I have no clue what to say or do to show her. Of course, I could just go to her and tell her, but I'd never have the courage to do that. Should I tell her, do something else or just forget about it and stay alone, like I've always been? Besides, I have no clue if she likes me too. I am not really a pretty guy, or someone who does a lot of sport, or someone with good grades... I'm just the class geek who fixes teacher's computer when they have a problem! And in most stories, the geek never gets the nice girls... I just don't know what to do...

It's not that strange. I know the media makes it seem like everyone falls in love and if you don't it's somehow weird, but I was well out of college before I did! And just like you I had no idea if she even liked me (it was my roommate, fyi) and so I dithered and daydreamed and did nothing...until she said 'so...you think we should date?' That was almost a year ago and we're still together.

 

My point is, get to know her, as a friend. Don't be afraid of the 'friendzone' because it can always develop into something more. Don't lose hope, just take your time. Have fun! That's important, too.

 

Eta: oh, and I'm a geek too. So is my girlfriend, and she's nice too. You never know what someone's into until you get to know them wink.gif

Edited by silver_chan

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I have this random knee thing, floating cap or whatever

So today it like popped and hurt a LOT

was shopping with dad and he saw me stagger

And it went a little like this

 

"Hey you alright?"

"My knee just like popped and it /hurts/"

 

Then proceeds to punch me and says

"Now what hurts more?"

 

I'm no expert but that's not how you treat your child whose in PAIN, but you know what do I know.

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I have this random knee thing, floating cap or whatever

So today it like popped and hurt a LOT

was shopping with dad and he saw me stagger

And it went a little like this

 

"Hey you alright?"

"My knee just like popped and it /hurts/"

 

Then proceeds to punch me and says

"Now what hurts more?"

 

I'm no expert but that's not how you treat your child whose in PAIN, but you know what do I know.

ohmy.gif Eh? Your dad is playing the kid now. I remember back in high school, a friend made a theory that if something hurts, another bigger pain would block out the previous pain because you will focus on it more. Then there's this classmate who was into the theory and tested it out. He punched the wall with one fist and then punched the wall with his other fist, this time harder. It just hurt him twice as much. unsure.gif Didn't work.

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