Emotional Support

[AppleMango]

I should be happy. My friend from the posts about that sleepover thing got a boyfriend. Her self esteem is around mine (aka pretty nonexistant) and I'm happy she has someone in her life, who even accepts that she personally doesn't identify as a human.

 

However...she's done a 180. The pros to this are she's happy she's been accepted for who she is and not what she looks like. This kiddo better make her happy or I'll boop him angrily. However, she's turning into the couple we dealt with at the sleepover. Shes already telling me how much she misses him and how she could cry if they don't see eachother again.

 

Note my self esteem is like not there, and I'm the only one single in our broken up squad. All she is doing so far is talking about her boyfriend. She's becoming blind to the fact that it does actually hurt to deal with that, even if I'm happy for her. Knowing I still haven't found someone, any outing will be double or triple dates and I've become the wheel. And it hurts deep down because in my mind this means I'm just not lovable in those standards. Again, I'm not saying I hate my friend or anything that sounds like I would but, I guess it makes me sad as well, I really don't know.

That's great for you're friend, but I understand why it's upsetting to you.

Understand that your friend isn't being that way because she's trying to upset you. She's just really happy. If you feel the need to, maybe just have a gentle talk with her, and tell her that you're happy that she has a boyfriend, and you're happy he is making her so happy, but you would feel a bit less left out if she toned it down a bit around you.

Maybe you could see if he has a friend that he can bring along that you can hang out with and see if you like him or something?

 

It doesn't mean you aren't loveable - there's many people in this world, and so it's going to take a while to find the right one. I'm not sure how old you are - but I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was 17 - and before that I was pretty upset. But now I have him, I'm so glad that I've never been with anyone else, because it makes him more special - and that will happen for you too.

 

[NoraNora]

That's great for you're friend, but I understand why it's upsetting to you.

Understand that your friend isn't being that way because she's trying to upset you. She's just really happy. If you feel the need to, maybe just have a gentle talk with her, and tell her that you're happy that she has a boyfriend, and you're happy he is making her so happy, but you would feel a bit less left out if she toned it down a bit around you.

Maybe you could see if he has a friend that he can bring along that you can hang out with and see if you like him or something?

 

It doesn't mean you aren't loveable - there's many people in this world, and so it's going to take a while to find the right one. I'm not sure how old you are - but I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was 17 - and before that I was pretty upset. But now I have him, I'm so glad that I've never been with anyone else, because it makes him more special - and that will happen for you too.

Thank you for the response

I mean, I know she's happy and everything, but her boyfriend recently started talking about frenching(if that's the word for it) and now it's boiling between slight hurt and concern. She's still peppy and such and talking to her she may not understand, but the pace this kid is now moving is starting to make me worry that maybe he doesn't want her for her, just what he can get out of a girl. They haven't been together for too long and already contemplating advancing to "fancy" things is rather reckless in my opinion..

 

And they're both 15-16, I'm 17(18 in like 23 days, yay!) I've missed little proms our other schools had, friends were lost for new people or partners, etc. My hope for finding anything like that just kinda..poof, gone. All people seem to want is pretty face perfect everything, and I'm just...none of those things. I dunno, I was thinking of dating apps or whatever but those I find to be risky and such so..id rather wait for the right one to never come along.

[kathy0]

kathy0: I have PM you. Furthermore, you can opt for tutoring for subject/s you have difficulty in. You can ask the people here in the forums (i.e. There is a thread for homework help); or Yahoo! Answers (it may take some time to get replies though).

 

Never let anyone make you think you are dumb and useless. You are special in ypur own way. For matter of seeking out your talent, which is a different story, please refer to my above post addressed to audri0. Having hobbies and knowing your talents make you feel and see that you are special and important.

Thanks you for your advice! Thats really nice of you! It meant a lot to me.

[AppleMango]

Thank you for the response

I mean, I know she's happy and everything, but her boyfriend recently started talking about frenching(if that's the word for it) and now it's boiling between slight hurt and concern. She's still peppy and such and talking to her she may not understand, but the pace this kid is now moving is starting to make me worry that maybe he doesn't want her for her, just what he can get out of a girl. They haven't been together for too long and already contemplating advancing to "fancy" things is rather reckless in my opinion..

 

And they're both 15-16, I'm 17(18 in like 23 days, yay!) I've missed little proms our other schools had, friends were lost for new people or partners, etc. My hope for finding anything like that just kinda..poof, gone. All people seem to want is pretty face perfect everything, and I'm just...none of those things. I dunno, I was thinking of dating apps or whatever but those I find to be risky and such so..id rather wait for the right one to never come along.

I know it's hard.

Don't try and talk to her about it if you're not comfortable doing so. But if you are, just make sure you do it gently and let her know that it's coming from a place of concern and caring for her well being. You want her to have the best boyfriend in the world like she deserves, and you're worried about his intentions. Hopefully she'll be ale to appreciate you being honest.

 

That sucks. We don't have proms and stuff around here I don't think. I'm not sure, we didn't at my school though I know that much.

I have a friend in real life who is a lot like you. She's 18 and her self esteem is low and she feels much about herself as you're describing to me now. But you know what? I think she's beautiful. I've never seen you before - so I can't say the same about you - but I am sure there will be people who see you that think so.

If you're not comfortable with dating apps - don't use them. But maybe consider looking for ways to make new friends. I know it's probably daunting, but do things like talk to someone at the grocery store, or things like that. You don't have to meet them in a way that's going to be relationship or bust - you can try making friends and see if either of you are interested in taking it further.

[silver_tiger]

@ NoraNora: I had given up on finding someone for me (made more complicated because I am ace and uncertain as to my gender, but anyway) before I moved in with the person who is now my fiance. I am also turning 30 this year and I only met my soulmate (yes I use that term in all seriousness) last year! So... I'm saying, don't lose hope. There are so many people in this world there must be one for you out there somewhere, even if it might take you a while to find each other.

 

And to everyone else... /offers hugs. I'm sorry everyone is going through a rough time right now.

Edited December 9, 2016 by silver_chan

[Zinogre]

Thanks prpldrgnfr and georgexu94 for your kind words. It really did help seeing that people care.

 

@georgexu94 my sister 'cannot' buy things locally because she has to get the 'absolute best' for my niece. She doesn't need to spend hundreds of dollars getting things shipped here but she HAS to. She has to make herself look 'better' than everyone else. Half the time my niece doesn't even PLAY with half the things she wastes money on . My sister likes to get mad when she doesn't get her way so I 'ruined' Christmas because she couldn't get me to do what she wanted. She has to make me look like the bad guy when she's the one ruining Christmas with her attitude.

 

~

 

All that drama over using my PayPal account and she's acting like the fight never happened. I was reduced to tears because of her comments, made my back worse from crying so much and now everything is fine? I want a damn apology but I'll never get one. My sister never apologizes for her actions yet 'I' am the bad person?

 

At least I know when to apologize, which I did by using my PayPal for what she wanted, yet she can't say the words 'I am sorry that I hurt you?'. She just HAD to make me feel miserable and calling me names to make herself feel better. Not my fault that she has a terrible personality and cannot take no for an answer. She has to say that I'm the one making excuses and 'lying' when she's the liar, not me.

 

I'm just so tired of not knowing when I say something that the bomb is going to drop and she freaks out at me. The last time she 'exploded' it took me months to get better. I just hope this time it won't take so long and drain all of my energy.

[RWyvern]

 

Hugs to all who need one <3 I care about each and every one of you!

 

I'm gonna put my thing here in white, as I suspect it may be a bit extreme. Mods, I will remove this if need be. I just gotta put it somewhere at least momentarily.

 

So I jjst witnessed/partook in something I wish never happened. Our neighbours called the police on us again (because dad stepped outside?? I think. They keep complaining about really odd things) and let's just say, mum completely lost it. She's since been taken to the hospital on account of her behaviour.

 

Suffice it to say, there was a lot of shouting and stress for like half an hour. I was present, and I was determined to keep a level head. I'm sick of just being there and not able to help my family. I didn't speak much, but when I did it was blunt and to the point... that's not my usual character at all. Even when mum snapped at me to shut up, I... didn't. Even though I was fighting back tears the whole time, I was gonna stick the whole thing through.

 

The ordeal's over now, and I've still been forcing a smile to try and keep my sisters (especially my younger sis) calm and my grandma relaxed. I've been assertive towards dad to make sure he does nothing reckless. I allowed myself three minutes in a dark room to cry a little, but I ended up... laughing. Like I was fuming, so angry I struck a wall several times. But while I was angry, I was laughing. 'Asking' the neighbours why they couldn't at least have made a complaint about my bone cleaning hobby instead of taking offence to my father stepping outside? The fools could've given a valid reason! I'd gladly give up my stupid little hobby to preserve my family.

 

I'm a bit scared, really. I've never been so furious I started laughing and making fun of the situation. Now that that's passed I feel sad now but I can't bring myself to cry. I'm concerned about my grandmother, sisters and dad. My 'goodbye' to mum as she left was a blunt 'okay'. I didn't look at her. I didn't look at the police when they asked if I was okay, I just said 'yes'.

 

It'll pass, like it always does.

 

I'd appreciate a little hug or two, if any happen to be spare!

[georgexu94]

Hugs to all who need one <3 I care about each and every one of you!

 

I'm gonna put my thing here in white, as I suspect it may be a bit extreme. Mods, I will remove this if need be. I just gotta put it somewhere at least momentarily.

 

So I jjst witnessed/partook in something I wish never happened. Our neighbours called the police on us again (because dad stepped outside?? I think. They keep complaining about really odd things) and let's just say, mum completely lost it. She's since been taken to the hospital on account of her behaviour.

 

Suffice it to say, there was a lot of shouting and stress for like half an hour. I was present, and I was determined to keep a level head. I'm sick of just being there and not able to help my family. I didn't speak much, but when I did it was blunt and to the point... that's not my usual character at all. Even when mum snapped at me to shut up, I... didn't. Even though I was fighting back tears the whole time, I was gonna stick the whole thing through.

 

The ordeal's over now, and I've still been forcing a smile to try and keep my sisters (especially my younger sis) calm and my grandma relaxed. I've been assertive towards dad to make sure he does nothing reckless. I allowed myself three minutes in a dark room to cry a little, but I ended up... laughing. Like I was fuming, so angry I struck a wall several times. But while I was angry, I was laughing. 'Asking' the neighbours why they couldn't at least have made a complaint about my bone cleaning hobby instead of taking offence to my father stepping outside? The fools could've given a valid reason! I'd gladly give up my stupid little hobby to preserve my family.

 

I'm a bit scared, really. I've never been so furious I started laughing and making fun of the situation. Now that that's passed I feel sad now but I can't bring myself to cry. I'm concerned about my grandmother, sisters and dad. My 'goodbye' to mum as she left was a blunt 'okay'. I didn't look at her. I didn't look at the police when they asked if I was okay, I just said 'yes'.

 

It'll pass, like it always does.

 

I'd appreciate a little hug or two, if any happen to be spare!

*huggles* I may not understand any of this whole business, but I can simply be a shoulder to be hugged.

 

[Ripan]

This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, but December is considered the most stressful month for a lot of people. I'd just like to put a reminder out there for people to please remember to look after themselves. It's alright to say no when you're overwhelmed with everything on your plate. It is alright to ask someone for help.

 

Likewise, if you are among those who have extra energy and will, then it'd be very nice of you to offer to help those who are tired, before they burn out.

 

It's more fun when everyone is happy around the holidays.

[cosmos393]

Just wrote my final for finance and half-way through I already knew I'm going to fail.. during the two and a half hours I spent half of the time starring at the questions panicking and the other half thinking I'm going to fail.. feel like right now..

I'm suppose to graduate in May 2017, taking full course load this term & next term, that makes it impossible for me to retake the course.. and failing the course means I won't have enough credit to graduate now, so no graduation ceremony for me .. gosh I can't even think of how I'm going to tell my parents that I'm not going to graduate on time...

Edited December 16, 2016 by cosmos393

[Daydreamer09]

Just wrote my final for finance and half-way through I already knew I'm going to fail.. during the two and a half hours I spent half of the time starring at the questions panicking and the other half thinking I'm going to fail.. feel like right now..

I'm suppose to graduate in May 2017, taking full course load this term & next term, that makes it impossible for me to retake the course.. and failing the course means I won't have enough credit to graduate now, so no graduation ceremony for me .. gosh I can't even think of how I'm going to tell my parents that I'm not going to graduate on time...

Calm down. Deep breaths.

You haven't failed yet, so don't give up on yourself. The worst thing you can do is to give into your fears. You got your final in and there's no way you'd get a zero for it. The only way is if you hadn't turned it in. But you did. There's still a chance you'll pass this class.

 

And graduating in May, don't give up on that either. There are advisors you can talk to who can help you sort things out. They are there for you for that very reason because they want to see you graduate too. I'm sure they can help you work things out.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I'm really scared about how Christmas will go on my father's side of the family. This past summer I moved out from his house and stopped talking to him completely. Pretty much cut him out of my life as much as possible. The last time I talked to him didn't end well with me trying to escape as quickly as I could from the situation. Thing is he's given me nightmares. And I'm really afraid that if I see him again I'll just get caught up in that fear again. My younger brother will be there, so there's some relief. None of the rest of that side of the family knows what's going on though.

 

A few days later after that I have to go to court as a witness against one of his drinking buddies and pal. The very guy and reason I moved out. He's ruined every relationship my dad's had with his immediate family and my father's always stuck up for the guy. The stole a check from my checkbook while I lived with my dad and wrote it out to himself. And even after that my dad wouldn't ****ing kick him to the curb. So now I'm gonna have to go to court and face the and be questioned by lawyers. I'm scared, angry and just want to get it over with and move on.

Edited December 16, 2016 by Daydreamer09

[zorua9]

This isnt as serious as all of your peoples posts but i have to say this. and ask a question at the end.

 

So for more than a few weeks my little brother (who lives in some sort of government foster care) haresses me almost all time he has access (for although the goevernment took custody from our mother, we have had access i think a year after he was taken from our home) and i have to constantly watch over my shoulder....... today i had enough, instead of hurting anyone when i got very angry i put a hole through my mothers door (for he started calling me and i think my family "soft c**ks") and i have had enough so i called the police and they had a talk to me, my mother, and my brother (and a stern talk and a warning) and they filled out a report and then left (in a nice way..... not saying that they left in a bad way or that they left without forefilling their duty as police). And so I am here, writing this.

 

I am currenly feeling a mix of emotions and i don't know which one(s) to prioritize. i feel regret, sadness, anger, drepressed and anxious.

I ask you guys your opinion as too: 1. did i do the right thing and 2. how should i feel.

[Thuban]

My doggie had a seizure today. First time. Hes ok, vets been alerted, but for now its a "watch him and see how he does" thing. Was the first time I've seen a pet I own have one... an ex's dog used to have them frequently, so I think that helped.. but still. I have so much going on right now, and now I'm freaking out about him too.

 

 

He's currently hanging out in my nest, with my fresh out of surgery husband. Hubby is fine, doggie seems fine, the cats are hanging out with them... and im over here like "ok... is this year over yet?"

[kreepers_killer]

So I've done something really stupid here and I feel really bad of it. I had somebody kindly giving me an egg and I said I'd take when I would not be egglocked anymore. When I wasn't egglocked, I went on the cave, bred things and totally neglected his gift. At the end of the day, he sent me a message and I really felt bad about what I've done. I had traded with this person and he gifted me many things,and I just feel like I broke our friendship. I know it's not really a "real" friend, but I've never had real friends so It really hurts me. I've always been a little lonely, I have 1 or 2 best friends, and that's pretty much it. I recently found myself other friends that had a really negative influence for me. I was in a group of geeks before, but I've really been an a-hole to them and they kinda kicked me out of the group. I left the friends who influenced me and I thought I'd be ok with my other friend at school, but he failed school and he was sent in another school. We no longer talk and I am conpletely lonely again, so that's a bit why this DC friendship was really important. When I joined DC back in september, I started making friend and I was just happy that I was being accepted. So that's it, I just needed to talk and let it out.

 

Oh look, it's my 200th post, yay

[Gealach]

So I've done something really stupid here and I feel really bad of it. I had somebody kindly giving me an egg and I said I'd take when I would not be egglocked anymore. When I wasn't egglocked, I went on the cave, bred things and totally neglected his gift. At the end of the day, he sent me a message and I really felt bad about what I've done. I had traded with this person and he gifted me many things,and I just feel like I broke our friendship. I know it's not really a "real" friend, but I've never had real friends so It really hurts me. I've always been a little lonely, I have 1 or 2 best friends, and that's pretty much it. I recently found myself other friends that had a really negative influence for me. I was in a group of geeks before, but I've really been an a-hole to them and they kinda kicked me out of the group. I left the friends who influenced me and I thought I'd be ok with my other friend at school, but he failed school and he was sent in another school. We no longer talk and I am conpletely lonely again, so that's a bit why this DC friendship was really important. When I joined DC back in september, I started making friend and I was just happy that I was being accepted. So that's it, I just needed to talk and let it out.

 

Oh look, it's my 200th post, yay

Have you talked to that person? It's quite possible that they are not really offended, and you haven't lost their friendship at all. Just explain the situation to them as you did here.

[Daydreamer09]

This isnt as serious as all of your peoples posts but i have to say this. and ask a question at the end.

 

So for more than a few weeks my little brother (who lives in some sort of government foster care) haresses me almost all time he has access (for although the goevernment took custody from our mother, we have had access i think a year after he was taken from our home) and i have to constantly watch over my shoulder....... today i had enough, instead of hurting anyone when i got very angry i put a hole through my mothers door (for he started calling me and i think my family "soft c**ks") and i have had enough so i called the police and they had a talk to me, my mother, and my brother (and a stern talk and a warning) and they filled out a report and then left (in a nice way..... not saying that they left in a bad way or that they left without forefilling their duty as police). And so I am here, writing this.

 

I am currenly feeling a mix of emotions and i don't know which one(s) to prioritize. i feel regret, sadness, anger, drepressed and anxious.

I ask you guys your opinion as too: 1. did i do the right thing and 2. how should i feel.

If this is on the level of consistent harassment then you did the right thing. Especially if it's come to the point that you fear for your own safety. The worst thing you can do is ignore it and have the situation escalate.

 

As to how you should feel is only something you can determine. It's never a good feeling to know that you have a sour relationship with a family member. Especially if you got along with him at one time. But people change, sometimes in good ways and sometimes in bad. You can't really control that. Only they can. Just don't let those feelings weigh you down because that's what your brother wants.

 

I for one really pity your brother. He's clearly taking out his emotions on you and your family (which is not ok). He may also be trying to make you and your family feel bad to make himself feel better. I have no experience with foster care, but stereotypically it's a stressful situation for the kids involved in it. Your bro probably needs a therapist to sort out his emotions and to find something more positive to channel them into.

[NoraNora]

Practice PracticePracticePracticePracticePracticePracticePractice

You'll get better you'll draw nicely

You'll be like your brother and maybe better

People will like your art and maybe want it

People will look up to you or compliment it

You're a good beautiful person just look in the mirror

 

You know what I see?

Nothing but a shell staring back at me with dully colored eyes

Long hair with bangs that get weird when they get wet in rain

Clothes that never look good no matter what angle

Being judged by family for picky eating that I can't force myself out of

Not many friends or a partner when the others do

 

Living knowing every time my birthday comes around on NYE we must invite people I hate that don't even show respect without bringing game tablets or laptops to shop for clothes, getting a card that bluntly claims I'm greedy enough to want the money over card

 

I just can't

How did I make it to 18 I don't know

[Kyleedj]

Hello DC Forums... I'm here because I've fallen on hard times and I could use some support.

 

My friend River and I were close, but early December he got in a terrible car accident that killed a four year old, injured the toddler's parents, and landed him in a medically induced coma.

I've been patiently waiting for updates. Hoping surgery will go well, and he'll be awake soon...

But last night I received word that that won't be happening.

They said that his brain is too damaged and that they're going to pull the plug within a few days.

He's only 20, and had so much more to experience in life and I can't believe this is happening.

 

So my advice to all of you: Treat every day like your last, and speak to others as you wish to be spoken to. You never know if tomorrow is the day that you never see the people that you love again.

 

I would like to honor his last wishes by acknowledging the last post he put on facebook. It read:

Remember, Christmas should be a time of love. Keep that in mind.

 

Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, remember to keep love in your hearts during the holiday season. Remember what's important.

Edited December 18, 2016 by kyleedj

[kreepers_killer]

Hello DC Forums... I'm here because I've fallen on hard times and I could use some support.

 

My friend River and I were close, but early December he got in a terrible car accident that killed a four year old, injured the toddler's parents, and landed him in a medically induced coma.

I've been patiently waiting for updates. Hoping surgery will go well, and he'll be awake soon...

But last night I received word that that won't be happening.

They said that his brain is too damaged and that they're going to pull the plug within a few days.

He's only 20, and had so much more to experience in life and I can't believe this is happening.

 

So my advice to all of you: Treat every day like your last, and speak to others as you wish to be spoken to. You never know if tomorrow is the day that you never see the people that you love again.

 

I would like to honor his last wishes by acknowledging the last post he put on facebook. It read:

Remember, Christmas should be a time of love. Keep that in mind.

 

Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, remember to keep love in your hearts during the holiday season. Remember what's important.

I'm sorry about your loss. Here's a warm hug <3 At least he'll be in a better place...

[Kyleedj]

I'm sorry about your loss. Here's a warm hug <3 At least he'll be in a better place...

 

I'm sure this was the better option... he was a broken person before the accident. Often depressed and suicidal. Knowing about what damaged the accident caused probably would have crushed him, I don't think he'd be able to handle it. This way he never wakes up and he never has to find out. What he doesn't know won't hurt him...

I also appreciate the hugs <3

Edited December 18, 2016 by kyleedj

[zorua9]

Hello DC Forums... I'm here because I've fallen on hard times and I could use some support.

 

My friend River and I were close, but early December he got in a terrible car accident that killed a four year old, injured the toddler's parents, and landed him in a medically induced coma.

I've been patiently waiting for updates. Hoping surgery will go well, and he'll be awake soon...

But last night I received word that that won't be happening.

They said that his brain is too damaged and that they're going to pull the plug within a few days.

He's only 20, and had so much more to experience in life and I can't believe this is happening.

 

So my advice to all of you: Treat every day like your last, and speak to others as you wish to be spoken to. You never know if tomorrow is the day that you never see the people that you love again.

 

I would like to honor his last wishes by acknowledging the last post he put on facebook. It read:

Remember, Christmas should be a time of love. Keep that in mind.

 

Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, remember to keep love in your hearts during the holiday season. Remember what's important.

When he wakes up he will need a lot of emotinal spport.... killing a four year old will mentally scar someone... he might not wake up the same........

just say to him "that a lot more people than he thinks wish him both pyschal and mental health" in other words *hugs you both*

 

[Kyleedj]

When he wakes up he will need a lot of emotinal spport.... killing a four year old will mentally scar someone... he might not wake up the same........

just say to him "that a lot more people than he thinks wish him both pyschal and mental health" in other words *hugs you both*

He's not going to wake up, he's gone now. But I appreciate your words of wisdom...

[georgexu94]

Merciful heavens! I'm sorry for the loss.

[Kyleedj]

Merciful heavens! I'm sorry for the loss.

Thank you, I appreciate that

[Syiren]

Hello DC Forums... I'm here because I've fallen on hard times and I could use some support.

 

My friend River and I were close, but early December he got in a terrible car accident that killed a four year old, injured the toddler's parents, and landed him in a medically induced coma.

I've been patiently waiting for updates. Hoping surgery will go well, and he'll be awake soon...

But last night I received word that that won't be happening.

They said that his brain is too damaged and that they're going to pull the plug within a few days.

He's only 20, and had so much more to experience in life and I can't believe this is happening.

 

So my advice to all of you: Treat every day like your last, and speak to others as you wish to be spoken to. You never know if tomorrow is the day that you never see the people that you love again.

 

I would like to honor his last wishes by acknowledging the last post he put on facebook. It read:

Remember, Christmas should be a time of love. Keep that in mind.

 

Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, remember to keep love in your hearts during the holiday season. Remember what's important.

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!

 

I was going to come here and post about an issue that's really put a gloomy mood on my family for Christmas, but after reading that it made me take a look and realize that we shouldn't take things for granted.

 

Your's friend's post won't be in vain.

 

*Hugs*

Edited December 20, 2016 by Syiren