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Obscure_Trash

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I'm not really that good with relationships, but, try going out on walks with your dog and take them to the dog park or normal park and walk with them there??

 

 

Ps: wise words from Brendon Urie," for a lover you should know, the lonely moments are lonelier than if you where alone."

 

So it's normal to feel really really lonely being apart from the people you love.

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Long exhausting story short, had another fight with my mom over my mental health, because she just cannot understand so much. I think there's a decent amount of willful refusal to understand rather than just inability, too.

 

She just doesn't get that a lot of my issues actively stem from various things like my OCD, or my depression, or my ADHD, and that it's harder on me than it is on her when I can't do something.

 

She just doesn't get it, we argue, and she turns it back around on me as if I'm being lazy or spiteful and it's just.

 

Completely exhausting and there's just no support and I just could use a net-hug.

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Long exhausting story short, had another fight with my mom over my mental health, because she just cannot understand so much. I think there's a decent amount of willful refusal to understand rather than just inability, too.

 

She just doesn't get that a lot of my issues actively stem from various things like my OCD, or my depression, or my ADHD, and that it's harder on me than it is on her when I can't do something.

 

She just doesn't get it, we argue, and she turns it back around on me as if I'm being lazy or spiteful and it's just.

 

Completely exhausting and there's just no support and I just could use a net-hug.

A hug for you: *hugs* because dealing with mental health issues is utterly exhausting and I'm so sorry you don't have support.

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I know my problem is a lot smaller compared to a lot of the other struggles people are faced with... So I hope I'm not out of place for posting here <3

 

My boyfriend is in the navy (sumbariner) and is currently on Deployment, he's only been gone/out of contact for 2 weeks this time and we should be able to talk in a day or two. But he won't be coming home till the end of the year. We live together and at the moment I feel so alone without him here. I have a dog and cat keeping me company and my mother calls to check in on me. I have a job but it's only part-time casual so I spend a lot of time at home doing nothing and feeling inadequate. I don't have friends and don't feel like there is any point in socialising anyway, because it serves no practical purpose (that sounds really cold and logical but I still feel like there's something wrong with me for thinking that way). I also don't have my license nor do I earn enough for driving lessons, so I feel even more isolated and trapped in this house on my numerous days off. But the thing is, he isn't even in hostile or even international waters, and it's "only" been 2 weeks, and I feel so down and miss him so much. I don't know how I will cope when he goes on an operational deplpyment (into hostile waters) for several months with no or minimal contact... I feel like I'm incapable of getting my own life together and I still don't know why he loves me and I just don't know what I should be doing. How I can avoid feeling lonely in the evenings at home and over dinner. Why I can't seem to believe he cares about me. How to *live* when he's gone, instead of just *waiting*.

 

Anyway, if anyone has any advice on activities to feel happy and content, or ways I can feel like socialising is worth it, or ways I can convince myself that his love is genuine... Anything would be appreciated. I just don't know where to turn and end up suppressing all my feelings instead.

Firstly, you are not out of place posting here, you are among friends. :hug:

 

I never have been attached to a military person, but my husband used to drive truck, and currently is working in another city 2 hours away from where I am attending college, so I know the tip of the iceberg that you are facing.

 

Your main concern seems to deal with how to fill the time and loneliness that exists when your mate is gone and can't communicate with you. I will say that nothing can completely fill that gap, but you can find something that will at least use the hours in a productive manner. Not having a car can be an issue, but not an insurmountable one. For example, I hate driving, and even though I have my license, I have no vehicle, so getting places is tough. The internet is a dangerously tempting place where you can order things that you want without having to drive to get them.

 

Since your work is only part time, that isn't a viable option, so I suggest finding a creative outlet. Something that uses both brain power and physical ability would be best, but brain power only (writing, poetry, etc) would work. Who knows, you could be the next JRR Martin if you're into slinging words into stories. If you're more into physical things, you could get into spinning, fiber crafting, woodcarving, jewelry making, or any number of things, with minimal intro cost (if looking in the right place) and relatively few materials. If those don't appeal, there is the vast knowledge base that is the internet right at your fingertips. You can learn how to code, do a youtube channel about anything you want (even to silly things like interactions with your dog. smile.gif ), study thousands of subjects free online.

 

I know the motivation is nill, and I've felt a shadow of what you're feeling myself, but trust me, learning is never wasted, and making things is a wonderful outlet for emotion.

 

Side note, I suspect the reason why he loves you is because you are a wonderful person in his eyes. smile.gif

Edited by Stripey

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Thanks peeps smile.gif

 

I try to walk my dog as much as possible when the weather is nice (just coming out of winter down here in Aus), but I don't take him every day (even though I probably should). There is a lovely dog beach/park less than 15 minutes walk away. It's actually a Navy memorial park too, complete with submarine escape tower and a ship's HUGE gun turret. And you can see the Naval base from the park/beach too (it's on an island connected by a causeway and bridge). I always feel a bit closer to my boyfriend walking there, since it's all Navy-themed. But I primarily go there for my dog, and sometimes it just feels like such a chore, since I'm just there to supervise him. I would take a sketch pad or something and sit down there with him, but he gets anxious when we stop so idk how to get him to relax/do his own thing when I sit down. Dogs are silly sometimes.

 

I do do a bit of drawing and would love to make a webcomic-type thing but I'm not at that level yet so I have been trying to encourage myself to practice towards that goal. I often feel like I'm being lazy and irresponsible because the house is disorganized and there's always cleaning to do, but I draw or watch TV instead. Yet nobody sees the house, so I can't muster the motivation to clean it. Either way I feel unmotivated to clean yet irresponsible when I do creative things, and it helps to re-frame it as an "outlet for emotion". Then I can justify it to myself as having a purpose: it's a substitute for social interaction since I live alone atm.

 

As for dealing with the separation... Even if I "keep busy" and try to "look after myself" by eating enough, getting enough sleep, going for walks, enjoying media and creative things, etc, I still struggle with the idea that I don't want this stuff, I want him. Not just because I enjoy being around him, but also because when he's gone I have so many doubts about his feelings. I've always had trouble opening up to people (been emotionally back-stabbed by everyone I ever loved - father, mother, brother, cousin/best friend, ex, ex's family, teachers, classmates, etc) so I feel uncomfortable sharing feelings in person, and always try to cover up and deny my vulnerabilities and perceived weaknesses, because of how often they have been used against me. I'm very insecure as a result, and don't believe that someone could REALLY romantically love ME. Like they might think they do, but they haven't realised what I'm really like (insecure and boring and lazy), or they are just exaggerating/pretending and actually have one foot out the door while they wait for something better or get sick of me and look for what they really want. I don't know how to stop feeling this way. It's come up a couple of times with my boyfriend and he gets really frustrated with how I see the world, so I don't want to talk to him about it any more because it's a lot to deal with and he has a stressful and demanding job and I don't want to drive him away for real. Anyway I don't know what my point is. I've been avoiding therapy because idk if it's really that big a deal, and because I'd like to also join the Navy one day and don't want them to think I'm unstable if they see a history of seeking help.

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Mm gonna die lonely

I could go on about other things

I'm so tired rn

My friends are all in love or dating

I'm a senior and crushed on two freshman

The friend, 15, dating a 19 year old, said I'm not allowed to go for freshman

Just

No

Shut it please.

Even the school-ish bûlly is legit afraid of me

Like my old school..the fear in his face.

I'm just

Online isn't working because after all

Who wants this nastiness

Lol

Gonna go lie down for a few days

 

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I was going to post this earlier when this first happened, but now that I'm cooled down a bit I can explain better.

 

September 7th or so I found out that my local library is doing their annual dance/party on October 15th. Super stoked! I immediately told two friends, one of which I've went with the past two years.

 

A few days later she told me she signed up (the one who has gone before), awesome! You see, my mom won't let me go unless at least one other person I know goes too. So I was super happy, signed right up, and started planning my costume. Still no word from my other friend, she says she'll sign up, but she keeps "forgetting".

 

Today.

This morning I text the both of them telling them that if they need a ride that I can certainly arrange for them to get one with me.

Well.

My friend who had already signed up (the one who has gone before, and the one I REALLY wanted to go with), says that she can't come anymore because another friend of hers is planning to maybe have a birthday part on the 15th. I immediately got so upset and jittering and nervous. The thought of even having to discuss it with my mom, who didn't want me to go alone and wanted me to go with her, brought tears to my eyes. It was, and am, SO UPSET over it! I wasn't mad at her or anything then. So I frantically started texting and asking people, namely my friend who had yet to tell me she signed up, if they were interested/free/signed up.

 

No responses from any of them. In fact, most of them are busy. One of them will be in Baltimore.

 

Throughout the day at school I've thought about it, and every time I do I get super upset, jittering, nervous etc. I REALLY wanted to go to this, even more so with her. Now I'm more angry about it, still upset, but I'm kinda mad that she would blow off this, which she knows is important to me, when we have had plans for a few weeks about it. We were going to go get food and ice cream before hand and hang out afterward, we had planned it out.

 

I have a half-finished costume, one that I've spent a lot of time on, and money saved up for it (which is hard enough considering I have a small low-paying "job"). More than anything though I really wanted to go to this event! Now if no one goes with me... I can't go. I don't really know how to talk to her about it, because I want her to have fun at the party, but I'm really hurt that she just blew off this entire thing and dismissed it all.

 

I'm super upset about it and I don't know what to do >w<

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@Clya: She canceled on something she knew meant so much to you because someone is planning to maybe have a party? There isn't any definite word on the party or not? And she already signed up and told you she would be going with you? No wonder you're so upset! You have absolutely every right to be! I understand her wanting to go to her friend's potential party, but having already given you her word, telling the friend she won't be able to make it because she has already made other plans and has said she would be there would have been the right thing to do. You have absolutely every right to be upset, and the fact you won't get to go- and have already spent so much time on your costume!- makes it even worse. I wish I could give advice on how to handle the situation, but I've always been the sort to be silently upset. I do really, really hope that you're able to find someone to go with you.

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Idk wether i want to really post this or not, but it's just..bugging me so i decided i would. I guess I need someone to tell me things are "ok" and I will be fine, I'm not a bad person, other than irl friends/family and my fiance - whilst I love them, a small part of me just keeps telling myself that they're obliged to tell me things lightly. It's a long story, though.

 

But the thing is, this past year and a half for me, other than having my fiance around, has been utterly awful, I had 3 people die on me in the space of a couple of months - first was my "ex girlfriend" - she was killed , ran over, in a car accident when I had to go visit my uncle, who was dying from Cancer, back home in Estonia, at the time. Unfortunately, I fell ill whilst I was there, and ended up staying longer than intended, and that happened and I feel it was in a way my fault, because I wasn't there. My uncle died shortly after, 2 months later, my gran was diagnosed with cancer and there was nothing they could do, she died just another month after that. I fell into really bad depression, despite having my now-fiance around me, and despite her being the best thing thats ever happened to me, I was selfish, I tried to commit suicide multiple times, I let my worst alters in control, (I have MPD/DID), they did bad things, I did bad things, I pushed the vast majority of my friends away, made them despise me because I really hurt them, I was disgusting at that point. I don't want to go into details, but the things I did to people, and the things I said to people were just awful. I wouldn't trust anyone at all, I accused them of wanting to hurt me, even though I was hurting them. and I ruined everything for myself. I feel like a bad person now, despite things in reality, are starting to get better. I just don't feel right, There's been times I've questioned If I'm really human.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm just a monster, or a shell with some sort of demon inhabiting it, or I'm possessed by something. (one of my worst alters is named Taint for this reason..) sometimes I still feel like I want to do the bad things, because when I was doing them, I was unnaffected by anything around me, but at the same time, I just want to be normal, and have a life unnaffected by the stuff in my head.

People tell me I'm not, a "monster" but they're people I know, who are obliged to tell me that, So I don't know what to think... sad.gif

 

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I just fell back into my depression. I was doing so well too, but my job is stressful and my mom is ill. I learned she passed out sitting down in her walk-in in closet. She's been off an on but I feel just terrible for her sad.gif

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sad.gif Mother has been busy, very busy, with work recently. It's been around a fortnight, and she's short-tempered all of a sudden. And she usually lashes it out on me.

 

As if doing errands isn't enough... The demanding errands.

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Update on the library part issue (see post my previous post above to see what previously happened)-

The other friend (the one that's never gone) told me that she should be signing up today, so the plans of mine have been altered so I can hang with her. I hope that she actually does. What irks me is that the original friend who was going to go with me (the one who canceled to MAYBE go to a party that MIGHT be happening), says that if the party thing doesn't work out that she still wants to go out and get ice cream before the library, then hang at my place afterwards. Now I'm happy that she actually sounds like she had interest in going in the first place, but she CANCELED on me and still expects all our plans to work out if HERS don't???? I'm really mad about this because I'm now going with this other person who says that as long as she doesn't forget to sign up, that she'll be going FOR SURE. I don't want to start a fight or an argument with her, but this whole thing is super irritating to me. I still didn't talk to her about shrugging off the super important event, as I'm one to suffer and be mad/sad in silence, but this crossed a line with me. I just don't know how to deal with it! >w<

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I'm caught between being so alone it hurts and wanting to better myself...but being too afraid to do anything to help myself

 

To make a very long sob story short, I have severe social anxiety. I unknowlingly relied on my handful of friends probably far too much to do things for me that would cause me anxiety and the like and it was fine. Up til little over 2 years ago when they all went away to university. I accepted this would happen before it did actually....and when it did, I wasnt bothered. Like them, ill make new friends and move on with my life I thought

 

....fast forward to current, well....that didnt happen. At all. Every attempt at making friends failed and each time it did my confidence sank even further. Over time my anxiety too filled me with pervasive negative thoughts that I could push away before. But i cant now.

 

I realize too that maybe its supposed to be this way. Maybe I just havent met the 'right people' yet. But it still sucks. I'm so lonely it hurts and it fills me with these overwhelming negative feelings. But i'm also so scared and so anxious about literally everything now that even one day when I do meet the 'right people', i'll just push them away out of fear. Like I do everyone else...

 

Its just....confusing and sad. Kinda pathetic of me too. I know better but I cant DO better so im stuck in this rut I guess. And I really have no idea what to do anymore ha ha

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And I really have no idea what to do anymore ha ha

Dear heart, you're talking to people here and admitting that you could use some help. Some of my best and closest friends I've made have been online. If you ever need to chat or want to chat more, PM me. I've dealt with my fair share (and still am to be honest) of anxiety and social awkwardness. I think it's safe to say that there are lots of us you can chat with and who will help you through a rut.

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Dear heart, you're talking to people here and admitting that you could use some help.  Some of my best and closest friends I've made have been online.  If you ever need to chat or want to chat more, PM me.  I've dealt with my fair share (and still am to be honest) of anxiety and social awkwardness.  I think it's safe to say that there are lots of us you can chat with and who will help you through a rut.

Thank you dear that means a lot you'd do that for me. I feel a little better today actually but i'm sure that wont be the end of it since I keep spiraling back into the rut... So i'll definitely keep the offer in mind when the time comes. Again thank you so much o:

Edited by aerolyx

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I feel a little better today actually but i'm sure that wont be the end of it since I keep spiraling back into the rut...

You have done so much already, admitting there's something wrong is a huge step! And while talking about it here or online in general can be a big relief, you should consider getting professional help.

 

What I quoted there is one thing where professional help can really make a big, big difference because there are techniques you can learn to prevent that spiral or - if you go down - to get back out again much quicker.

 

Good luck happy.gif

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You have done so much already, admitting there's something wrong is a huge step! And while talking about it here or online in general can be a big relief, you should consider getting professional help.

 

What I quoted there is one thing where professional help can really make a big, big difference because there are techniques you can learn to prevent that spiral or - if you go down - to get back out again much quicker.

 

Good luck  happy.gif

It took me so long to admit to my problems though I gotta say. I'm glad I finally came to terms with it though as yeah, it is a huge step forward! I just wish I could accomplish the next step, the..actually doing something about it step

 

I do regret now more then ever though not seeking professional help when I had the chance. My college has a completely free on campus free professional mental help...thing, for students. My advisor and several instructors recommended me to it but I flat out refused because 1.) I was in denial at the time and 2.) even if I wasnt i would have been WAY way too scared to do it. Knowing me i'd just sit have an anxiety attack there and bawl my eyes out the whole time whoops

 

Anyways, im no longer a student right now for....well thats another story for another day. And as any professional help outside of that is inaccessible to me now, i'm kinda stuck in that regard. Even so you're totally right about that. It may very well just be the thing I need to keep pushing forward. I'm absolutely terrified to try it still but when the opportunity to do it comes again, ill do my best not to back down and give it a shot.

 

...I guess that is all I have to say about that. Now Thank YOU so much for replying! It definitely cheered me up a bit and I will remember and take your words to heart. Again thank you i'll do my best happy.gif

Edited by aerolyx

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[ED TW. This may be severely triggering to some - please, please do not read if this may trigger you. If you have any history of unhealthy mentalities surrounding food, please take a break from this thread and go do something fun or productive. I cannot stand the thought of triggering someone the way I have been triggered; I'm just here to vent because I'm on the verge of a meltdown.]

 

So. I've had an ED for about a year or two now. I'm not gonna get into the details of what I did, how my body changed, etc. - it would take toooo long. But long story short, I have always been one of those 'naturally skinny' people. I was very petite my whole life, and everyone always told me 'You are SO skinny.' I loved food, especially sweets and desserts, and I had a monstrous appetite. I was living the life! Eating entire pies and maintaining a borderline-underweight BMI! My disordered brain thought this was ideal. But over time, something shifted. I did not see thin when I looked in the mirror. I saw flabby, I saw fat. This was where my ED started. Two years of restricting/binging/over-exercising/attempting recovery later...I find myself absolutely stuck. Trapped. Things have spiraled out of control. I am no longer thin. I have gained significant weight. I genuinely do not remember what "normal" eating was for me. How I used to eat back when I was thin and had a blazing metabolism and was HAPPY.

 

For 3 months over the summer I completely reversed my vicious habit of restricting calories/food intake, and I binged. I've been exercising too, and I've built quite a good bit of muscle, and some days I love my muscle! But some days I look in the mirror and all I see is 'big.' Not toned, not fit. Just big. I spent three months binging, and not even in the sense that I was eating delicious foods and simply not caring how much I ate. No, I ate to the point of feeling sick, every day. I shoveled food into my mouth and I don't know why. It wasn't enjoyable, it didn't taste good, it wasn't indulgent. I just did it, and I told myself that when the summer ended, I would restrict. I called it 'dieting' and 'transitioning to a healthier lifestyle' but no, it was restricting. I ate and I ate because I knew that it would all be okay, I'd lose it later. I would restrict. And that's what I've been doing, for over a month. I've been restricting and my size hasn't changed, my weight hasn't budged. I was so upset to discover this - what was I doing wrong? After eating like a monster for three months, switching to such a low daily intake should have my body shedding weight like never before...right? After some desperate, panicky research, I've come to the conclusion that I have royally screwed my metabolism. I guess that's what happens when you restrict for a year and then binge like you're storing for hibernation.

 

I want to recover. I want to repair my metabolism. For my age and my activity level, every resource I can find is telling me to eat far more than I currently do. Two years ago my metabolism was FIRE. And yet I thought I was fat. Today I looked at some pics/videos of me from back then, from right before I started restricting for the first time, and I cried pretty hard. I was in fact very, very skinny, as skinny as people had always told me, and yet I distinctly remember thinking how flabby and chubby I was. And now I really AM chubby, and it's obvious that restricting is not going to fix anything. I need to repair my metabolism and the only way to do that is to eat more. I'm not eating a ridiculously tiny amount of food, but I know it's still not enough. My body is obviously used to a higher metabolism, considering that I used to be so small despite eating so much, so right now my body thinks something is wrong. It knows I'm not eating enough. I have to help my body learn that everything is okay, I have plenty of food, we are not living in a famine.

 

Dear God, I am so terrified. I am so scared of the initial weight gain that will inevitably occur when I start eating more. I am so scared that I've damaged my body beyond repair and it will never recover metabolically. I am so scared that what I see in the mirror is a horribly distorted view of reality, like when I was teeny tiny and thought I was huge. I am so scared that I'll think I'm recovering but in reality I still won't be eating enough. I am so scared that maybe I've been eating enough all along and the reason I can't lose the weight is because I'm just meant to be this size now, even though I know that doesn't make sense, considering most healthy, normal teenage girls do not undergo such drastic changes as I have gone in the span of two years. I am so scared, and I have been crying a lot today, because I absolutely hate myself for not appreciating my body and my metabolism back when they were GOOD. I hate myself for doing this to my body. I hate myself for things I cannot help, things that are wrong in my brain, things I want so badly to fix.

 

There are so, so many forums and websites for this kind of thing. But I'm posting here instead of on those websites because I know they will just trigger me. I'm posting here because literally all I need is emotional support, even if that support comes from the simple act of typing this up and posting it. Sometimes you just need to vent, right?

 

Better eating starts tomorrow.

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I'm just gonna leave a bunch of {{{{{{hugs}}}}}} here for anyone who needs/wants/would like to have one.

*You* are loved, *you* are important, *you* do matter!

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People tell me I'm not, a "monster" but they're people I know, who are obliged to tell me that

Ei. No. Stop thinking that.

Even as your Fiance I am not "obliged" (which I think is a word meaning forced to have to?) to tell you anything. If I have a bad thing to you to say, I will say it. Trust me. Do you not remember the argument when I found out of your drug problem? Yes, you made me feel very bad, bad for you, and myself because i felt bad for you, was going into depression, and pulling out my hair again, but we got past it all together.

I am knowing of your problems, but none of them matter. If they did, I would not be with you still, and engaged to you, would I? The friends you have would of left, the ones who did leave you are just weak and cannot cope you - even at your best.

You can not help your past, and what it "made" of you. I know the better you, and the better you is the more often seen.

I do not think a monster would treat me as special as you do, and I do not think a monster would of saved a lost cat with no homes life, or be as patient as you are when you are making clothing and costume, and our headresses for our wedding, and all of that nice things.

Monsters do not love their family as much as you do, either.

The end. You are not a monster, and I really do not think many think you are.

 

 

And to all others in this thread, I wish you all luck and hope and that things will get nicer for you all, as the person above this post says, you are all important and loved and you all matter. *hugs if you are want them*

 

 

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1.) I was in denial at the time and 2.) even if I wasnt i would have been WAY way too scared to do it. Knowing me i'd just sit have an anxiety attack there and bawl my eyes out the whole time whoops

See, you've eliminated 1.) already, means you've already solved half of the problem,

 

and 2.) would be the absolute best that could happen because then you could be coached through the attack.

 

I hope help becomes available to you and you're welcome happy.gif

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sad.gif I feel that I'm recently surrounded by negativity, and it makes me angrier. I made a set of personal rules to live by, and to follow the way of Kantian deontology. I made those and make myself follow them because I see that they are good, I see the truth. However, it is just discouraging to see that some people lie or steal, and mostly get away with it.

 

sad.gif The traffic rules alone in the city aren't being followed, and the congestion is enough to make a patient man impatient and angry. I am over all a strict follower to the rules but once made a mistake by taking a route I am not supposed to make. I was caight, but you see hundreds of offences that do not get caught. It is so... unfair. For now, I won't talk about the bribery issue in here. That is another story.

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I feel like I can never achieve emotional balance. Either I don't give anything to those close to me and get called an emotionless robot, or I either give myself as a whole and find people take advantage of my good nature.

 

It's been many years since I dated someone, and I finally decided to let myself feel again with something I thought I could trust. Turned out they were just using me for their own gain, and now that they finished their night with me, I'm just ignored. Ignored I suppose until they need something again.

 

Is loyalty dead in the human race? Why do people keep ignoring me when I try to reach out? I'm always here to listen to them and give them advice when they need it, why is no one there for me when I need them? I can't believe I was stupid enough to trust this person, I was doing so well on my own too.

 

I don't know how to move on from this, how to cope with being ignored by others. Any advice would be greatly appreciated....

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My sister is getting married, and she is a lesbian. My family pushes Christianity a lot and while I do believe in my religion I tend to throw myself into a large amount of philosophy because of this. I want to celebrate my sisters marriage without getting a guilty feeling around my parents. It doesn't help that my sister has already had a huge falling out with my parents (more specifically my dad) and it split my immediate family apart. So now I'm really worried about whats going to happen, my dad has to face this huge rift now and my sister needs to deal with it to. I want to go to the wedding and be happy but I'm worried that the marriage could make this huge problem even bigger. It doesn't help that I was recently suffering from depression and my friend has anxiety so I have school to worry about as well. I also have been worrying about my weight so I guess this is the year of worrying.

I just need some hugs, cookies, and reassurances that life will be okay.

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I feel like I can never achieve emotional balance. Either I don't give anything to those close to me and get called an emotionless robot, or I either give myself as a whole and find people take advantage of my good nature.

 

It's been many years since I dated someone, and I finally decided to let myself feel again with something I thought I could trust. Turned out they were just using me for their own gain, and now that they finished their night with me, I'm just ignored. Ignored I suppose until they need something again.

 

Is loyalty dead in the human race? Why do people keep ignoring me when I try to reach out? I'm always here to listen to them and give them advice when they need it, why is no one there for me when I need them? I can't believe I was stupid enough to trust this person, I was doing so well on my own too.

 

I don't know how to move on from this, how to cope with being ignored by others. Any advice would be greatly appreciated....

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Relationships are give and take. It is a reciprocity. It is not uncommon to find that some people take advantage of others and just simply take. They treat others as mere means rather than ends. It is what annoys me. It makes other people distrust.

 

You need to take care of yourself too. You are important. You are an end in yourself, not some mere means so other people can get what they want. Avoid those people and start trusting again. Loyal people are not lost nor are they nowhere to be found; they are only difficult to find, but they are still there. Learn to trust again but take small cautious steps to avoid getting hirt again. The rewards will be worth it.

 

I am rambling on now, but thank you for spending time to read this.

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