Emotional Support

[lady_caetlyn]

Dark Dagger, I'm so sorry that the person didn't like what you made, and got rid of it in front of you. That's actually really rude.

 

ChocolateIzzy - I am sorry your friend is having such a hard time.

 

I don't think it right to slap a child in the face. I have swatted my daughter in the butt a handful of times, (usually when nothing else works). I grew up in a house where my father had severe anger issues, and would threaten us with a belt. I can't remember him ever succeeding, but I can say that there was more mental abuse than physical.

 

 

[BlueMint]

Made something last night for someone who I've always had a bit of a difficult friendship with. Sometimes we get along really well, and other times we fight - so I figured I'd do this to try to make up for past events.

 

Well… I guess they didn't like it for whatever reason. So they sorta criticized it and then threw it away. Not sure why I'm surprised. This sort of thing normally doesn't bug me, but… I worked hard on that, and they didn't even have the decency to wait until I was gone before dumping it.

 

I don't have a lot of friends, so I'd been hoping to at least get closer with one. So much for that. :/

Oh my gosh this seriously broke my heart! :,( How rude. Im very sorry this happened to you. *gives virtual hug* I hope you feel better...

[Shienvien]

@Thuban: People react very differently to physical punishment. With you it may have sort of worked (and I will tell you, using a specific *word* is never enough to warrant physical punishment in my eyes), with others it would only generate (potentially lifelong) resentment. Being hit in the face because you used a "word" for a bunch of girls who chased you down and beat you up? That is the sort of thing I personally would have never forgiven for.

[Syiren]

Made something last night for someone who I've always had a bit of a difficult friendship with. Sometimes we get along really well, and other times we fight - so I figured I'd do this to try to make up for past events.

 

Well… I guess they didn't like it for whatever reason. So they sorta criticized it and then threw it away. Not sure why I'm surprised. This sort of thing normally doesn't bug me, but… I worked hard on that, and they didn't even have the decency to wait until I was gone before dumping it.

 

That's horrible! What a vicious thing to do to someone who worked hard making something just for them to enjoy. Even if they didn't like it they should have at least thanked you for going through all the trouble.

 

Like you said, even if they didn't like it they should have waited until you left. They need to realize that they're not always going to get everything served on a silver platter and life isn't all puppies and rainbows. Sometimes you gotta crawl through the mud.

 

I'm just sorry to hear you had to suffer through that.

 

I don't have a lot of friends, so I'd been hoping to at least get closer with one. So much for that.  :/

 

Well, I don't have many friends that live close to me. At least not many that can actually stop by, but I have made a lot of friends online. I found out that distance doesn't really matter, a friend is a friend and you could make a lot of them here.

 

Many of my online friends live all over the world so it's really awesome to be able to connect with people I never would have met otherwise, not to mention getting to learn about all of the different cultures and awesome things about their region.

 

I suggest giving your friend some space and let their anger cool down. See if they approach you first and go from there.

[Omega Entity]

We got spanked for the worst of offenses, but it usually never went that far. I'd only seen my mother outright cuff one of my older siblings once ( my sister), and it was because she mouthed off to her as a teenager. Only happened once, and that was all that was ever needed - it never happened again after that.

 

I think that discipline methods will absolutely vary depending on the child. Some children require a more physical approach (spankings, but never a slap to the face for younger children - teenagers, slaps only for the more egregious things), while others the timeouts, rescinding of privileges, taking away toys, etc. work just fine. Different strokes for different folks, as it were.

[Thuban]

@Thuban: People react very differently to physical punishment. With you it may have sort of worked (and I will tell you, using a specific *word* is never enough to warrant physical punishment in my eyes), with others it would only generate (potentially lifelong) resentment.  Being hit in the face because you used a "word" for a bunch of girls who chased you down and beat you up? That is the sort of thing I personally would have never forgiven for.

Yea, its not for everyone.. but.. I did see her point. Where I lived, being stupid and using that word could have gotten me far worse than getting jumped every day. And now that im older and see how badly people react to it, and understand just how nasty a word it really was, I see why she did it. I hold no grudge there.

 

Im not a supporter of physical punishment, but I can admit there are times where it might work better than the weird.. things that super nanny taught people to do. What mom did worked.. what dad did.. didnt. Grandma had a paddle, but never had to use it, other grandma has this wooden switch. I think I may be from the last generation where spanking was still a thing though.. kids grow up differently now than I did.

 

 

 

Edit: We didnt get the new house we were trying to get. Decided we will just keep our heads low, and wait on my husbands bonus from last year to show up, sell whats left of our bitcoins and go from there.

Edited January 20, 2015 by Thuban

[ChocolateIzzy]

I have to admit. I hate being labelled and I used to be called me for my choice of style. I had 2 friends, they were pretty close, otherwise I was an outsider. That was before I changed everything, and my hair even. Then people started to talk to me more. That's when I found out that people at my school were just shits, drifted apart from my 2 close friends. Now I just hang with a selected few that don't really care who's different. I learned to keep things to myself anyway, that's why I spend more time on the internet and talking to "strangers" they can listen.

 

Oh and because why not, if you're curious I doubt it

Before and After my "emo" phase

[lady_caetlyn]

Thu: I'm sorry you didn't get the house.

 

ChocolateIzzy: If they can't accept you the way you are then they aren't worth your time. And in my opinion it's better to have a few good friends that accept you as you are.

 

Not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow....I'm just tired, stressed, over-emotional, crampy and just sad...

[Pink]

Excuse me if I'm sharper/less articulate than usual, I have a shearing headache. I'm also just getting used to telling people this, so excuse me if I don't explain this properly.

 

Trigger warning: Um. Everything? Just don't read it if you're sensitive.

 

So, backstory first: So, I was homeschooled in a cult. Just going to get that out of the way because dancing around it doesn't tend to help. So, I have a bunch of older siblings who were born all over the place. My parents were in a cult that's notorious for *cough* sketchy practices with children */cough*. Of course, until leaving, I and most everyone I knew didn't believe that was actually true. Heck, there are still some people who say that all those children were lying. I wasn't affected personally, but a few members of my family were. Aside from that, they were generally very controlling and released standards for how you should act, how you engage in relationships, how many kids you should be having, what occupations you were allowed to have (spoiler: evangelist or parent. Also, this usually resulted in people being dirt poor), what you were allowed to read (I skirted this rule frequently), what you were allowed to watch, what sites you were supposed to visit, etc. Heck, they even had a thing where they said you didn't need to finish anything past middle school. That screwed my siblings and I up a little bit, as a couple of us eventually have gone to school and had a lot of catching up to do (in every possible respect). Roughly I was about 4 years behind on math, and adequate in literature only because of all that /terrible/ literature I snuck in my closet to read. Dostoyevski is obviously a bastion of satan, but at least he helped me learn how to formulate sentence structures.

 

My siblings were a bit further behind that I was, because I actually cared about school and actually read most of my school books (unfortunately it's hard to learn math just by reading it). They mostly went straight into "jobs" around the group and didn't progress much beyond about 9th grade.

 

So, aside from that cheery bit of information, basically I was isolated as a kid. We were told outsiders were bad (which, of course, included everyone here) and that they were all seriously deluded. It's a bit ironic, actually. Communal living was practiced (which for those who don't know, is when you live in a house with a bunch of random people who you may or may not have any connection to, often whether you like it or not). I wasn't supposed to talk to outsiders, but as our friend above stated, I talked to people online. Of course, I wasn't /supposed/ to, but I did anyways, because DC is an innocent site where you take care of innocent dragons (which is not a satanic symbol at all) and the people here only talk about dragons obviously.

 

So top of all that, my parents were treated /terribly/ by the group. I know it's a bit odd to expect decent treatment from a cult in general, but they somehow managed to get on the bad side of the admins (a mysterious group of people who hid their location because they got frequent death threats from disgruntled outsiders and lawyers who were looking into the whole child abuse thing). Mostly they ended up in the scariest possible places in the scariest possible countries with no money and bunch of kids. And they had to go or else they would lose their status of the elite members of god's army (or whatever) and all their friends and every ounce of respect they had fought to get from their co-cultists.

 

Fortunately, I missed all that. They settled in texas immediately after I was born and that was the same year the group stopped telling people /where/ they had to go. Mind you, this rule retraction came with a fresh set of new, crazy rules, but whatever.

 

So I wasn't allowed to have outside friends, schooling, or work for a long time. I was dead convinced that the only possible outcome was that I was going to be a parent (probably) and maybe some kind of admin because I sucked at evangelizing. Like I /really/ sucked.

 

About 3 ish years ago I officially graduated highschool (you really don't want to know what I had on my diploma) and I started going to school (mostly because... well, I have no idea what caused it, but once I get an idea in my head, I go with it, regardless of whatever discouragement is coming from other sources). Immediately got a crash course in everything. I had to learn how to talk to people, how to talk to professors, how to speak up in class, what /not/ to tell people, how to speak in public, how to not scare children, etc. All this was while I was catching up on several years of shoddy scholastics and figuring out how finances work. And how to get to class.

At the time I was still living with my parents, and so I had to beg/barter rides to school every day (I wasn't allowed to have a car and I had no money).

 

I eventually transferred, left home, and got a job. All of which was very difficult for me to process emotionally and mentally, but it's in the past now. I now have money, friend, a sweet bf, and a car, whoot.

 

So, skipping forward to my present predicament. You'll recall that was the backstory.

So, I started going to counseling recently. I've found out that apparently I'm better adjusted that most people from "normal" backgrounds. That's great. Best compliment I've ever been given. Normal is a great goal when you're the weird kid who was homeschooled in an international sex cult (that's what news stories typically referred to them as). I thought this was great, and I may have /accidentally/ told my family.

 

See, I still talk to my parents. Basically, three of my siblings have completely left the group. One of my next oldest sibling, who is going to school and working right now. He's not very logical, and he doesn't care about much but he gets by. Second, we have the sibling directly above him, who is about 30 right now. She actually stopped below 8th grade technically, but she has an occupation that she taught herself and she's very intelligent. Finally, we have the middle brother who left, joined the army, got aids (on top of everything he's gay, which was a huge issue in the group), and became an accountant. He has a lot of issues, substance abuse problems, and such, but he has a job and everyone is happy he does. See, traditionally in this group, if you left you were cut off and labeled as an "apostate" (an awesome term, I know, I've come to appreciate it more since I've played dragon age) and received no help, sympathy, or whatever. People were only allowed really to pray for you to see the light. There was a high rate of suicide and mental disorders among people who left. Most of the people I know who were my age and in my social group within the group have some pretty serious issues now. A couple of them are dead. It's very sad.

 

So, my sister may have caused a stir when she left. See, she was in the super secret main base. And when she left she may have told everyone where it was. This started what was a steady downward spiral with my parents. She also joined a church, which, as I may have failed to explain... churches were one of the ultimate evils in the group. Like, it's bad to be an outsider, but church people /believed in the wrong christ/. *gasp*

So, when she joined her church, she told her pastor everything. She apparently talked to him for hours. She was trying reconcile what she believed in the past with what was in the bible so she could remain christian after leaving. (fun fact, most people who leave cults don't stay christian)

So, he told her she should try to make amends with my parents.

 

At the time, her, my parents, and my eldest sister (and me, of course) were all living under the same roof). You have to recall that she angered the leaders by letting everyone know where they were, so she kind of didn't get any assistance when she left to come back to US. (They were in mexico at the time) So, she moved back in with my parents while she and her husband were looking for work.

She decided this would be a great time to start "reconciling" with 4 people who had spent 40 years in a low-information, ultra controlling religious organization. Understandably, she wore out her welcome very fast. They actually asked her to keep to herself because they didn't want to talk to her anymore. Again, understandable from their perspective. She was a troublemaker.

Anyways, so this, again, was several years ago. Now she has her own house, she has a job, and she has 3 cats (and a very amusing husband who is not unlike a cat himself).

 

After she moved out, she had gone around to talk to different people who were part of my parent's "friend" group (we didn't have outside friends, just people who'd give us money and try to convince naysayers that we were normal. Hence the quotation marks) and told them about her journey into normal society. She even apologized for teaching them things that weren't in accordance with actual biblical literature (in actual context, as she says frequently).

 

Of course, this angered my parents, who had to answer precarious questions from their "flock (which, ironically, is what they call their friend group) and this caused them to ostracize her further. Heck, everyone that knew her from before she left suddenly hated her. She was uninvited from our house (I was still living with my parents when this happened) and asked not to visit. Thankfully, her church and husband were there for her, as she has depression issues and has admitted that she contemplated suicide a few times while she was in this stage of her transition.

 

So, quick note before I jump forward again. I still keep in contact with my parents, even though I've expressed disapproval of their beliefs and previous lifestyle, and the way they raised their kids. I've explained to them that I don't necessarily visit often because it's a bit traumatic for me, and that I have no intention of ever letting them talk to my children for very long if I do have them. I've also explained to them that I believe different things and asked them to respect that.

Mostly they have, but they have withdrawn some support and I think they're secretly hoping I change my mind because I get emails about different religious documents every few weeks or so. However, I was slightly more circumspect than my sister. I knew that if I came out as a guns-blazing atheist while I was living with them, I was not only going to lose what respect they had for me, but I was probably going to have a much harder time getting set up. So, I waited and schooled myself into pretended tolerance. I still do that, to an extent, because they're old, unlikely to change, and they're the only parents I have so I refuse to cut them off.

 

ANYWAYS, so my sister. Recently (as in, last month recently) several of my dad's "outsider" siblings died. It was sad, everyone cried, and there was a funeral and everything. That's not really a part of this story. So, my sister went to the funeral and she may have started apologizing to another person she was concerned about. That's understandable because she hadn't seen him, had no other contact info for him, and this was the first time she'd seen him in years.

 

Another note before continuing. I sympathize with my sister completely and we have a great relationship. She helped me get my current job and she helped me get my car so I could go to school elsewhere. I stayed at her house last summer because I didn't want to go home to that craziness.

 

Anyways, so I was staying with my parents finally, after having avoided staying at their house for an entire year. I decided to spend a few days there with my mom (who I also have a great relationship with) even though I can't sleep there and it majorly stresses me out. So, that's where I was after my parents got back from that funeral with all that heavy hearted resentment towards my sister for indoctrinating their hard-indoctrinated "friend".

 

Anyways, so my dad goes off on this rant about how my sister is an apostate, how she worships the wrong god and how she thinks he worships the wrong god, and how she's trying to destroy everything he's worked his entire life for (true, but still). I placate him and then I go to spend time with my sister before coming back to my apartment at uni.

I get pretty much the same story from a different side, and with the alteration of she would feel bad if she didn't tell him what she really things.

 

This, of course, has been one of several incidents where I've been instructed to "pass information on" to my sister. My parents don't visit her, and when she does talk to my parents, their conversations are terse and brief.

So, officially I am the middle man between two factions of my family that really strongly dislike each other and can't stop doing things that is going to offend the other side. I'm not entirely sure what to do, or if there's anything I can do.

Mostly I just talk to people politely and if the other side is brought up, I request that they talk to each other directly. (Historically those conversations have not gone well, but it's kept me nicely out of something that doesn't involve me).

 

One part that bothers me though, is that I would love to see my parents make progress towards becoming more... well, less cultish. I want to see them just be happy for their kids and not be so opposed towards doing normal things. Heck, I'd love for them to join a church and get some outside friends that are actual friends and not people they give bible classes to.

 

Finally, finishing that storyline where I accidentally told my family (well my parents and eldest sister) my counselor said I was "normal". Well, they replied sarcastically. Why on earth would I want to be normal when I could be special like them? Mostly that irked me for the above reasons. I was upset that they couldn't change. Some people would cry. Eh. I've never cried over things like that. It's weird actually because most people meet me and we talk briefly and people remark about how I'm so friendly and upbeat and intelligent. They never suspect anything. Heck, even my counselor was surprised when I told her after a few sessions.

I always tried to skirt around it with people I've known for years. I was always a bit nervous about telling people.

 

So anyways, I doubt there's a solution, but there's the predicaments I'm facing.

God, that took forever to write and was the most stream of conscious thing I've ever written.

Edited January 20, 2015 by Pink

[Pink]

Um. Good lord I didn't realize my post was so long.

Apologies, people. I tried to condense it but um... I did not succeed.

 

[Pink]

I have to admit. I hate being labelled and I used to be called me for my choice of style. I had 2 friends, they were pretty close, otherwise I was an outsider. That was before I changed everything, and my hair even. Then people started to talk to me more. That's when I found out that people at my school were just shits, drifted apart from my 2 close friends. Now I just hang with a selected few that don't really care who's different. I learned to keep things to myself anyway, that's why I spend more time on the internet and talking to "strangers" they can listen.

 

Oh and because why not, if you're curious I doubt it

Before and After my "emo" phase

Maybe people presumed you didn't want to be talked to?

I'm not sure. You're pretty either way, and I wouldn't worry excessively about it.

People are oddly fickle like that.

 

[ChocolateIzzy]

Yeah I assume people thought I was that one person who didn't want to talk to anyone. I got bullied a lot when I was younger and that start of highschool. like I'm ugly, disgusting, emo, stupid and that I looked like a guy haha. Though that's long over now

People are okay now

And thank you

[Fuzzbucket]

Um. Good lord I didn't realize my post was so long.

Apologies, people. I tried to condense it but um... I did not succeed.

No worries. BUT - you have to stop being sucked into "tell him for me" "tell her for me." Tell them "tell him/her yourself." You are not a carrier pigeon.

 

Keep contact with whomever you want - but don't be the middle-man. I am a part of a deeply dysfunctional family (though not a patch on yours, I confess) where everyone tries to manipulate everyone else - my parents were the worst; mother still is, trying to play her three daughters off against each other, and it doesn't help that one sister tries to guilt trip the other two.

 

Not such a huge problem as yours - but the getting sucked in is TOTALLY enervating and soul-destroying. You will not be able to change your parents. There is no hope AT ALL of that. PLEASE don't wear yourself out trying.

 

As for "normal" - heck that's just a psych term for not totally insane. I'd say they might fit into the latter...

 

I am so glad you have got past this - but the key word is past. If you try too hard you might find it leaking dangerously into your present.

[Ruby Eyes]

Wow, what a background story! And I agree with fuzz's "You are not a carrier pigeon." Tasks like that never serve you well; misunderstandings will always be the messenger's fault. You don't want to be that messenger.

 

In my eyes, "normal" people are special in the way that there are not really many of those "normal" people - almost everyone has something that would actually suffice for a whole therapy. I think you did rather well when you escaped from all that madness you described.

[Twyro]

I have to admit. I hate being labelled and I used to be called me for my choice of style. I had 2 friends, they were pretty close, otherwise I was an outsider. That was before I changed everything, and my hair even. Then people started to talk to me more. That's when I found out that people at my school were just shits, drifted apart from my 2 close friends. Now I just hang with a selected few that don't really care who's different. I learned to keep things to myself anyway, that's why I spend more time on the internet and talking to "strangers" they can listen.

 

Oh and because why not, if you're curious I doubt it

Before and After my "emo" phase

Trust me - being yourself is the greatest gift you can give to yourself, and good and honest friends come together with it, I promise. It's impossible to please everyone by doing anything, so start with yourself. Don't get me wrong, one should never be overly selfish, but be true to yourself and love who you are. Only that way will other people love you. Those who don't shouldn't be a part of your life (or at least a significant one).

 

@DarkDagger: God, that's horrible! I may not know neither you nor that person in real life, but THAT does not deserve to be your friend. No matter how little friends you have, you will be much better off without someone who refuses to even try to appreciate you, your affection and your efforts.

 

I used to be friends with a girl who was a mutual friend to me and another friend of mine, and they have grown rather close. I was never bothered by it, of course, why should I be, but that "mutual friend of ours" gave so much more emotions and effort in building a relationship with my friend and literally neglected me. I hated putting my efforts into someone who didn't give a about it all, ignored me, just abandoned our conversations and left me hanging when I tried super hard to make our friendship deeper and better, I wanted us to be closer. For months it was ruining me, until one time when I just had waaaaaaaaay more than enough and decided to end it all. I just sent her a message telling her that it's all pointless and that I wanted our so-called "friendship" to end.

When she saw it, she accused me of being jealous of the relationship she had developed with my friend and literally blamed it all on me (twisting the story around, of course). And she also said that I couldn't just erase people from my life like that. That was when I got super angry. I wanted to be as civilized as possible at first, but when she said those things, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I reminded her of every single time she told me that she wasn't interested in talking to me about some things because they were boring to her, yet she was super comfortable doing it with my friend, despite all of my efforts, of every time she left me hanging, conversations undone, everything I was bothered with in the first place! After that I had told her that kicking her out of my life was no problem at all because she never really showed that she wanted to be a part of it in the first place.

And then I just deleted her. I don't need comfort or anything over here, I wanted to give my example as a motivation for people with similar dilemmas in life. If you feel intoxicated (in a bad way), poisoned by someone's influence or an unhealthy friendship/romance/whatever, let go of it. Better things are there for you, so don't waste your time on what drains energy out of you and makes you unhappy. You are much more worth than that.

Edited January 20, 2015 by *Silver Fox*

[Pink]

No worries. BUT - you have to stop being sucked into "tell him for me" "tell her for me." Tell them "tell him/her yourself." You are not a carrier pigeon.

 

Keep contact with whomever you want - but don't be the middle-man. I am a part of a deeply dysfunctional family (though not a patch on yours, I confess) where everyone tries to manipulate everyone else - my parents were the worst; mother still is, trying to play her three daughters off against each other, and it doesn't help that one sister tries to guilt trip the other two.

 

Not such a huge problem as yours - but the getting sucked in is TOTALLY enervating and soul-destroying. You will not be able to change your parents. There is no hope AT ALL of that. PLEASE don't wear yourself out trying.

 

As for "normal" - heck that's just a psych term for not totally insane. I'd say they might fit into the latter...

 

I am so glad you have got past this - but the key word is past. If you try too hard you might find it leaking dangerously into your present.

Oh, I know I don't have a hope of changing my parents. In a way that's why I've been less combative than my sister. She still has hope to change them. On one hand, I'd love it if they'd change, and if I could say something that would trigger that, I would. But I know you can't change people and trying to do so is a waste of time.

 

Wow, what a background story! And I agree with fuzz's "You are not a carrier pigeon." Tasks like that never serve you well; misunderstandings will always be the messenger's fault. You don't want to be that messenger.

 

As to avoiding being the messenger. That's part of the reason I'm out here rather than going to school in the same town as everyone else. It's a bit more roundabout to work around my school/work schedule /just/ to tell me to send a message to someone else.

The problem usually occurs when I go back to visit. Thankfully, I don't really have to return... well... ever, if I don't want to.

Before I was living in a dorm and I had to return every month or so. It was awful and awkward.

 

[ChocolateIzzy]

Yeah being yourself is the main thing in all of this.

I got past all of this by being myself, and whenever someone comes up to me bringing a message from someone who didn't feel like doing it, or just doesn't like me, I told them to grow up and do it their self although that might not correspond to what you said, thought I should put it out there.

[Fuzzbucket]

As to avoiding being the messenger. That's part of the reason I'm out here rather than going to school in the same town as everyone else. It's a bit more roundabout to work around my school/work schedule /just/ to tell me to send a message to someone else.

The problem usually occurs when I go back to visit. Thankfully, I don't really have to return... well... ever, if I don't want to.

Before I was living in a dorm and I had to return every month or so. It was awful and awkward.

But when you DO, you are being sucked in if you pass on messages. Just say no.

 

You are better than them anyway

[Brite]

Stressed and worried. My bf was kicked out by his father because school was screwing him over(the lil run around student aids like to give). He's a good student, and he doesn't slack. His father is just that kind of person that acts on impulse doesn't think things through. I guess he blamed my bf for it (idk why he would) and took anger out on him by kicking him out. I'm just worried as heck over him. He lives 30 mins away and there's no way I can help. I'm just at a loss..

[georgexu94]

Stressed and worried. My bf was kicked out by his father because school was screwing him over(the lil run around student aids like to give). He's a good student, and he doesn't slack. His father is just that kind of person that acts on impulse doesn't think things through. I guess he blamed my bf for it (idk why he would) and took anger out on him by kicking him out. I'm just worried as heck over him. He lives 30 mins away and there's no way I can help. I'm just at a loss..

Your bf is very lucky to have a gf that is very concerned with him. I wish to have someone like you.

 

Anyway, on topic. There might not be a way to help him. However, you could try reasoning with his dad. That might make things lighten up; if it comes from somebody else, it is more likely that the person would believe rather than having the bf explaining himself. But if the dad doesn't change his mind, we'll just have to pray to whatever gods there may be that everything will turn out alright. Best wishes!

[LadyNightshade]

The vets at my work made the quality of life decision for my dog's mom Sara and are going to be putting her down tomorrow. Working in the clinical lab, I've seen her bloodwork, and I know it's not been good, so it's no surprise that this was coming and it's definitely for the best so she doesn't suffer, but it doesn't hurt any less.

I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through the workday. I don't even want to go (I mean I want to visit her one last time before she goes) but I'm struggling for money right now so I don't have a choice but to go. I just don't know how I'll cope with it.

[Syiren]

The vets at my work made the quality of life decision for my dog's mom Sara and are going to be putting her down tomorrow. Working in the clinical lab, I've seen her bloodwork, and I know it's not been good, so it's no surprise that this was coming and it's definitely for the best so she doesn't suffer, but it doesn't hurt any less.

I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through the workday. I don't even want to go (I mean I want to visit her one last time before she goes) but I'm struggling for money right now so I don't have a choice but to go. I just don't know how I'll cope with it.

*hugs you so tightly*

 

I know all too well the pain of losing a pet. I've had to go through with it multiple times in recent years, losing 4 pets in four years and I know how it is to have that cold claw of parting tear at your heart.

 

My most recent pet to be put to sleep was my Tuxedo cat Joey. He wasn't even five years old, but he had problems. Mom took him to the Vet while I stayed at home and then she called me telling me what was about to happen. I walked to the Vets as fast as I could. It was strange. I know I was breaking speed-walking records, but it felt like the longest walk of my life.

 

When I got there he was laying on the counter and when I approached him he cuddled into my arms and purred. It took everything I had not to break down crying right there. Then I took him in my arms and sat on the floor with him in my lap. That was his favorite thing to do was lay on my lap and when I did that he purred louder. I rubbed his head and even got him to doze off, but he was still purring.

 

All that time I was just talking to him, talking to him about all of the good times we had. Remembering all the cute things he did. Even the times when I was upset and he'd paw at my legs and meow, wanting to be held. After a while Mom said that the pain medicine that the vet gave him would wear off soon and I didn't want him to suffer anymore. It was so painful setting him back on the counter and giving him that last loving embrace. I poured all of my love into that hug.

 

I cried for two days after that. Heh, thinking about it, I'm actually crying right now. But, even though it still hurts, I remember the fun times and the funny moments and that's a big help. Like the time it was really cold and Joey snuggled up into my warm fuzzy robe and crawled into my sleeve while I was wearing it. Looking up at me with those big green eyes and that adorable purr. He would knead, but kept his claws in.

 

Then there was the time he was a kitten and we couldn't find him. The next day Dad went to put his work boots on and stopped when he felt something fluffy. He looked down into the boot and there he was, all curled up inside. He let out the cutest little squeak like he was wondering why Dad had woken him up. That's how he earned the nickname 'Puss in Boots'.

 

The point of all this is to remember the good times you had with them and even if they got into trouble and got into things or done something they shouldn't have, maybe it was to get your attention because they love you and wanted to spend time with you. I know losing them will hurt and it will never fully heal, but the pain won't last forever.

 

*gives more hugs* Just don't forget to tell them that you love them.

Edited January 23, 2015 by Syiren

[lady_caetlyn]

The vets at my work made the quality of life decision for my dog's mom Sara and are going to be putting her down tomorrow. Working in the clinical lab, I've seen her bloodwork, and I know it's not been good, so it's no surprise that this was coming and it's definitely for the best so she doesn't suffer, but it doesn't hurt any less.

I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through the workday. I don't even want to go (I mean I want to visit her one last time before she goes) but I'm struggling for money right now so I don't have a choice but to go. I just don't know how I'll cope with it.

Huge huge ***HUGS**** I'm so so sorry. I don't even know that I can add anymore than Syrian did.

 

Pink, I'm so sorry you went through that. I have to agree that you need to take yourself out of the middle. I know it is easier said than done. (My parents put me in the middle as messenger to my sister...for stupid reasons)... *HUGS*

 

*HUGS TO EVERYONE*

[shadowfighter]

My parents are pushing me too hard in school. They think that because I interact very well with adults, that I'll interact well with teens my age. And are pushing me to talk and hang out with kids I don't like, on top of putting me in regular and AP classes. for every subject that I take. It is extremely stressful, and they don't seem to realise that I have been getting about three hours of sleep ever night, and that I've lost three pounds since monday. I am getting pushed to my limit, and every time I say something, they ground me and take my phone so I can't have anymore 'bad influences'. I've asked them many times why they keep doing this to me, and the answer is always "so you can be successful and we can have a normal daughter. You act like a Numbskull! Always going on about shows or characters in books. We won't have it, you will grow up normal." And to top the whole thing off, they're setting me up with a guy this weekend. Saying "we want you two to hang out." IM FOURTEEN!! Sorry for any bad grammar, I'm extremely stressed right now.

[georgexu94]

My parents are pushing me too hard in school. They think that because I interact very well with adults, that I'll interact well with teens my age. And are pushing me to talk and hang out with kids I don't like, on top of putting me in regular and AP classes. for every subject that I take. It is extremely stressful, and they don't seem to realise that I have been getting about three hours of sleep ever night, and that I've lost three pounds since monday. I am getting pushed to my limit, and every time I say something, they ground me and take my phone so I can't have anymore 'bad influences'. I've asked them many times why they keep doing this to me, and the answer is always "so you can be successful and we can have a normal daughter. You act like a Numbskull! Always going on about shows or characters in books. We won't have it, you will grow up normal." And to top the whole thing off, they're setting me up with a guy this weekend. Saying "we want you two to hang out." IM FOURTEEN!! Sorry for any bad grammar, I'm extremely stressed right now.

Firstly, there is nothing wrong with your parents putting you in a regular classes. Unless it be that you have some disability. However, how they word it out (as according to your narration) is a bit questionable. One does not simply describe one as Numbskull and also despising you because you like to relate yourself with characters from books. It is fairly normal to relate to a character.

 

Secondly, looking this at a more objective level, they cannot and should not force you to hang out to only a certain amount of friends. They should know that they should have an open-mind and let you be exposed to realities.

 

And forcing you to hang out to this guy? What is this? Force marriage? *inserts sarcasm* it just... annoying.

 

Well, I don't have any advice for this. I apologise for that.