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Found out today my mom has Colon cancer  it was a shock to us all but i am hoping they got it early enuff that they can do the surgery to remove it all. Just pray that everything will be ok i hate seeing anyone sick.The thought scares me that we might loose her to worse cancer if it spread any where else. :(

Edited by Laryal

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@Ribombee

Oh man, what a jerk! I'm glad to hear you and your dog are both okay. :) I hope you're feeling less stressed today and did well on your quiz! Good luck getting into the school you're applying for. I know that whole process is super stressful. *Hug*

 

@Laryal

I'm so sorry! That's such scary news to get. :( I really hope the treatment goes well and your mom is able to recover. *Hug for you too*

 

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15 hours ago, Ribombee said:

Today started out SO well. I had a fantastic ride (horse) and was feeling really on top of the world. Then my advisor took forever getting suggested edits to me on the application due today. Then I call the office to double check a formatting thing regarding the application and discover my second letter of recommendation writer had not sent in my letter yet and had just left for Spain. So I email him, and I figure I will take my dog for a while while I wait for a reply. I didn't even make it to the park (a few blocks away) when some self-absorbed jerk came flying out of a parking garage and very nearly hit my dog. If I had been a split second slower in yanking him HARD backward by the leash/collar, he would have probably been dead. And the guy looks down at my dog, then just speeds off. Didn't even have the decency to look upset about it, let alone apologise. My poor dog was so confused and frightened by suddenly being yanked by the leash (not something he is used to), and I have been in a fit all night about it. All the stress has given me a killer headache, and I have a quiz tomorrow morning. Ugh.

I'm so sorry! As a fellow dog owner, I can 100% relate. The good news is your pupper will be fine. Some trainers use small jerks on the leash to train, it doesn't hurt them and he likely doesn't even remember it by now. ❤️

I'm a bit nervous honestly, I've just realized my dream is to become a professional show handler, and I have very little inkling of ethology or show grooming, much less structure and conformation. There's so much I have to learn first, I don't have a lot of money to pay for the classes and there is almost no dog activity anywhere near where I live. Plus my bf and I are planning an international move within the next few years, and it's not going to be easy at all, especially not with 9 dogs and 5 cats in tow. I know I can do this, I know we just need to work hard and make it happen; but with just our jobs, it won't be enough. If only I could find an online job that paid in US dollars, which go VERY far in my country...

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On 3/29/2019 at 1:53 PM, Princess Kiara said:

I'm so sorry! As a fellow dog owner, I can 100% relate. The good news is your pupper will be fine. Some trainers use small jerks on the leash to train, it doesn't hurt them and he likely doesn't even remember it by now. ❤️

 

Yeah, I know he is fine. I use small jerks for corrections on the heel, but it was a seriously hard jerk of the leash, enough to physically yank him into the air a bit. He was REALLY confused and upset. He is fine now, of course, but I felt like total ****, and I was super angry that I was forced to do that to keep him safe. 

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On 3/28/2019 at 11:51 PM, Laryal said:

Found out today my mom has Colon cancer  it was a shock to us all but i am hoping they got it early enuff that they can do the surgery to remove it all. Just pray that everything will be ok i hate seeing anyone sick.The thought scares me that we might loose her to worse cancer if it spread any where else. :(

 

I'm so sorry to hear this. My mom passed away a week ago to cancer.  Hang in there and let's hope they can treat her quickly.

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I feel really numb right now. It’s weird.

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I feel like I lack something important in my life. I noticed that my everyday school life is rather dull. As a smart person, I can often answer hard questions easily and by doing so, I can hear my classmates badmouthing behind me. I honestly don't mind and want to keep my neutrality. There are some times that my mind just breaks and I suddenly get a crash and burn if my mind does break. Unlike the majority of students my age, I have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. I sacrifice a lot of things just to learn - my time, my hunger, my friends, even my sanity sometimes. I sometimes wonder if I strayed too far on the path I took and whether I should traverse forward or abandon everything I acquired and return back to scratch.

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So. This morning my mom had knee replacement surgery. We've been preparing for this for awhile now, she was actually supposed to have it months ago but other health issues kept getting in the way. It's actually pretty likely she'll need the surgery on her other knee as well, eventually, but right now it's just the right knee. A church friend drove us to the hospital and stayed with me through the whole thing, even coaxing me down to the cafeteria for a bit so I didn't spend the whole time worrying. The surgery went well, thank goodness, and the physical therapist already got her to do leg stretches *and* walk a few steps (I was very surprised by that!). She seems to be doing really well so far, the plan is for her to stay in the hospital until Friday or Saturday and then transfer to a rehab place for a week or so. 

 

I'm..... Okay, at the moment. I've cried a couple times today, just being overwhelmed and worried and stressed, but in general I'm doing better than I'd expected. I've only actually been home from the hospital for about an hour, though... I really don't do well alone. And that sounds weird to me because I'm not a social person, I very much prefer keeping to myself, but with someone else in the house, yunno? My mom does her thing and I do my thing, but we are in the same house, and when she's gone for more then a handful of hours it just starts feeling really strange and empty and sad. I have friends coming to visit from out of town this weekend (specifically a 'cheer up' visit), and I know I can call church friends if I need to, though I really hate doing that... Tentatively planning on working tomorrow (took today off), if only to keep myself busy and distracted for awhile. I'm okay right now. I'll probably be okay tomorrow, and Friday, though I might cry a few times. But the days after that? The more days pass, the more I'll start to unravel, and I know that from experience. Just... Take it one day at a time, I guess.

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On 3/31/2019 at 6:18 PM, Leidarendi said:

 

I'm so sorry to hear this. My mom passed away a week ago to cancer.  Hang in there and let's hope they can treat her quickly.

So sorry to hear this. :: Hugs ::

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On 3/28/2019 at 11:51 PM, Laryal said:

Found out today my mom has Colon cancer  it was a shock to us all but i am hoping they got it early enuff that they can do the surgery to remove it all. Just pray that everything will be ok i hate seeing anyone sick.The thought scares me that we might loose her to worse cancer if it spread any where else. :(

Sorry to hear this news. We lost someone close to pancreatic cancer. It was quite quick and caught at stage 4 - the most invasive kind. I hope your mom caught it early enough. Spend time talking with her about the important stuff while you still have the opportunity to do so.

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On ‎4‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 12:26 AM, Marrionetta said:

I feel really numb right now. It’s weird.

@Marrionetta Are you still feeling numb? Was there a particular trigger for it?

 

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I feel like I lack something important in my life...

@Ether-Equinox  I think I can relate to that a bit. As a student, I was "book smart" and sometimes had folks badmouth me for it too. I relied (and still rely) heavily on my faith to avoid those crash & burn episodes. I also found that when I took time to work with those who did not easily understand the hard questions, helping them to discover what I saw more readily (note that they had to find it for themselves, I just led them with clues), congratulating them when they got it, and letting them be the ones to answer in class, there was less bad mouthing and more friendliness. 

Thirst for knowledge is important, but as with all things in life, there needs to be some balance. I do not think you need to abandon your path, just modify it a little for healthier relationships.

 

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So. This morning my mom had knee replacement surgery... Take it one day at a time, I guess.

@HeatherMarie Sorry for what you and your mom had to go through! How are you now, a couple of weeks later? Did the rehab work out well? Hope your mom is healing well!

 

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I don't know where to start...I'm feeling pretty bad, I guess.

@Aqub I had some trouble understanding your post, as I never did online school before college and do not know what other issue(s) you may have that dealing with people face-to-face and driving are difficult for you. I can relate to having a mom who pushes to the point of stress for both of us and I can relate to how crappy it is to have a falling out with a best friend. For the schoolwork, does it feel great to finally have an assignment done once you do it? Maybe focusing on getting to that feeling can be a motivator to get started on it?

As for the friend, I do not know what happened, but I hope in time you are able to develop closeness again. It can get really lonely before then, and I wish you shalom.

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I'm doing... okay-ish? Mom still isn't home and I'm sorta flailing, I kind of feel like... Almost like time isn't moving, life isn't really happening right now? Nothing is normal, nothing is how it usually is, so everything sort of feels surreal. Mom was (finally!) moved to a rehab place on Tuesday, after multiple issues kept her at the hospital longer then expected (low blood count, possible pneumonia, etc). I've only seen her once since the surgery, on Wednesday, and a part of me feels horrible about that but I'm doing what I need to do to hold onto my sanity and it just freaks me out seeing her like this. She's doing physical therapy multiple times a day and is doing really well, considering... She's in a lot of pain and is still having trouble bending her knee easily. The current 'coming home' estimate is Tuesday or Wednesday, but that really depends on how things go between now and then. Today I spent way too much energy running around in an attempt to get mom home modification gadgets that she'll need while recovering at home, like a shower chair and such. (*Iooks at clock, realizes 'today' is now technically 'yesterday'*)

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