Emotional Support

[MaeTM]

9 hours ago, prpldrgnfr said:

@Earth Gurl-Sweetie, reading your post raised so many red flags it made my heart hurt.  Your BF sounds like an immature, emotionally abusive bully with a possible drinking problem.  He is not joking, he's deflecting.  There is no reason on this planet to be wearing formal makeup/dress for classes and as far as work...it depends on the job.  Him plus one friend and a 30 pack nearly finished?  That's 10-12 beers each!  With an illness that makes it worse?!  I get being young and changing/learning, but I think you should think long and hard about exactly what you're getting out of this, and how exactly being with this guy is good for you.

 

This x 1000 times. You need a man that will always tell you how beautiful you are - even if you happen be hairless, or dressed in tatters or even smelling from not having the strength to shower. A man who will tell you how special you are even when you cannot see it. People trying to wear you down? You will always have enough of those harassing you through life, no need to keep one of them this close.

A person who loves is supposed to stay by your side through thick and thin, not to kick you as soon as the mood goes swinging.

[Draconiusultamius]

Note: if mods deem my post too disturbing/mature for the forum, please contact me.  I realize I don't have great judgment when it comes to appropriateness, but I'm trying my best to be appropriate and it's frustrating when people think I'm pretending not to know what is and isn't appropriate.  If I didn't at least try to censor myself when it comes to details, I'd probably be in tons more trouble.

 

Warning, my post is disturbing and contains a lot about death, some mature content, etc.  I'm trying my best to keep it no thanks too graphic, but I'm not great at describing things vaguely.  It's kind of me ranting my head off about a bunch of things I probably will regret posting later, but I'm certainly not talking about it irl.  That'd probably be worse.  

 

Another note, I don't know where to post this.  I'm not looking for emotional support, per se, I guess I'm not even sure why I'm posting it.  Frustration?  Annoyance?  Boredom?  Perhaps all three?  Perhaps it's my strange desire to mess with people's emotions.  It doesn't matter.  Anyways, onto the actual post...

 

If you don't already know/remember (you probably don't), I kind of self-identify as a sadomasochist and I'm really into death, blood, violence, etc.  Well, apparently that's getting into the way of me ever establishing a real relationship, not that I've ever tried, but every time I try to imagine myself in a real relationship, I fail to see any interesting part about it.  Sure, a partner can share your interest and stuff, but when part of your interest in them has to do with your desire to harm them (and for them to harm you), then you might also be worried about relationships. I had a dream once where I strangled a guy I liked and I vividly remember enjoying it.  I felt bad after the fact, but it was a dream.  I could alter time and fix my dream to make a different ending.  That's not something I can do in real life.  Not that I think I'd ever really kill or even harm someone in reality, but I'm always really paranoid that I will.  I'm also paranoid about accidentally mentioning it to someone in real life while seeming serious since it wouldn't exactly be good if everyone knew.  Even if I were to tell people I liked about this, I'm not sure how they'd react.  Would they be willing to support my desires?  I really doubt they would.  

 

I also have many problems trusting people, even myself.  I don't know if people are really good or evil, but I tend to think that everyone is out to get me.  I remember that one of the things I am terrified of during sleep paralysis is when the laughing happens.  I hear this laughing, it sounds soft, echoy, far away, yet it's really loud and invasive.  It sounds like it's coming from within my head to the outside.  The first time it happened, my hallucination was that of some people that I really hated, standing over me and laughing at me.  While they were at it, they kept saying that I was useless.  They were completely soulless, which made the experience more terrifying, but what made it worse was the fact that I felt like it was my unconscious mind saying it.  Since I knew it wasn't real, they weren't others opinions of me, just my brain talking.  I only ever act like I trust anyone, including myself, I don't think I truly do.  Sure, people haven't actually done anything to directly harm me, but there's just something about everything that always seems just a bit off.  Everyone's always pretending to be fine, pretending to be something.  Nobody's genuine.  Maybe that's just because of how I am myself.  I lie pathologically, I always look for a way to benefit from others, I have a habit of mistrusting people, I blame others for my mistakes, etc.  But that would mean that it'd be how human nature is.  After all, I have gone against nurture. 

 

Honestly, at this point, I should really stop talking and just ignore what I feel like typing.  I obviously don't really know what I'm typing any longer and too sleep deprived and detached from reality to be doing this.

[Ruby Eyes]

@Draconiusultamius Dreams can indeed be terrifying, especially when one can't identify where they're coming from (Which fears, which experiences led to this and that kind of dream?).

I tend to have nightmares about running away and/or losing my voice at the worst possible moments, and recently also about (non-sexual) violence of which I don't know yet where *that*s coming from. Might be a remnant of past family incidents.

 

With regards to "happy" dreams about harmful things, let me just say I'm incredibly glad that true mind-reading doesn't exist. My mind is my own kingdom in which I am the Goddess.

My GF sure would be mortified about the things I'm fantasizing (willingly, lucidly) to, erm, get somewhere. That's probably my life's greatest lie: hiding that kind of dreams/fantasies from everyone, including (and especially!) her. Some desires don't need to become real in the world in order to become real in the brain, luckily. Could be something for you to try out, too?

[Draconiusultamius]

On 1/29/2018 at 6:22 AM, Ruby Eyes said:

@Draconiusultamius Dreams can indeed be terrifying, especially when one can't identify where they're coming from (Which fears, which experiences led to this and that kind of dream?).

I tend to have nightmares about running away and/or losing my voice at the worst possible moments, and recently also about (non-sexual) violence of which I don't know yet where *that*s coming from. Might be a remnant of past family incidents.

 

With regards to "happy" dreams about harmful things, let me just say I'm incredibly glad that true mind-reading doesn't exist. My mind is my own kingdom in which I am the Goddess.

My GF sure would be mortified about the things I'm fantasizing (willingly, lucidly) to, erm, get somewhere. That's probably my life's greatest lie: hiding that kind of dreams/fantasies from everyone, including (and especially!) her. Some desires don't need to become real in the world in order to become real in the brain, luckily. Could be something for you to try out, too?

I'm going to assume that your's is a paracosm?  I have one as well, but I always find myself wanting more than just experiencing things in my mind.  I just feel so disconnected from her in reality that even if we are essentially the same person, I don't exist in her world and she doesn't exist in mines.  I always feel like I'm lacking compared to her.  Sure, she isn't a real person, but that doesn't make me want to acknowledge her any less.  She's what I can never be, and I kind of hate her for that, but I can't get rid of her either.  It's not just my desires that make her unattainable, but she has magic, invulnerability, immortality, etc. things that are unrealistic.  Sure, you say that some desires don't need to become real, but for me, being real in the brain means that it's just not real, period.  And that irritates part of me deeply.

[kitty39]

On 08/07/2017 at 3:46 PM, kitty39 said:

My whole life is literally in pieces right now, I feel so lost and alone....

My boyfriend and me had a baby at the start at this year and baby is sadly very poorly, he started to get sick at two weeks old and so far he's not improving. The doctors have suggested a milk allergy and reflux but we're not sure, all we know is he's not eating and not happy. We've had countless hospital trips and diagnoses but still he cries or whispers day and night.........

 

The near constant crying had a big effect on me and my bf and we're now so close to splitting. It started with bf yelling at me when baby cried, I don't try hard enough and it's not good enough, the doctors aren't doing enough either he says. I begged him to help me, do anything to help. But no, he didn't clean or help me with baby, when I told him baby was poorly I was told he's fine, teething, it's a phase etc. I cleaned our home and cared for baby myself for 3 months, maybe more, with 0 help from him.

 

I isolated myself and baby, I couldn't take the yelling and I have a responsibility as a parent to protect baby from anything negative. I love baby and it's not fair for bf to be that way, I cried to him to stop and again asked for help... again I got nothing.

 

Nearly 6 months on and bf has cheated on me with a girl online, I read all his messages and the smashed up his ipad, I fell to the floor and cried. I grabbed baby and left for my mother in laws house, I never wanted to see him again, after all he told this girl he "loves her". Sadly rather than my mother in law being home, his grandma was, I was quickly told off for being childish, however I had not to,do her what he had done as not to cause bf issues.

 

Bf arrived and explained his side, he had cheated as I had isolated myself and baby from him, hetc claimed it was my fault. I told him he never helped with baby he just put baby down and ignored it, he said because I'd isolated baby from him he didn't know how to care for him.....

 

Now here we are, I've explained the full story to bf today that: yelling > isolation/protect baby > cheating. I'm miserable, baby I still poorly and seeing doctors twice a month if he's not in hospital, I can't sleep I just cry, I hate to look in the mirror because surely his cheating means I'm to ugly and not good enough. My whole life's been shattered and we are both miserable. He wants to keep trying but it feels different, he's not himself anymore,  he's not the man I fell for.  I found a YouTube video of him and her playing a game online, he's himself with her like how he was with me. 

I'm also now very sick from the stress, I've developed a cyst on my ovary from the stress, I have stomach pain a lot now from it and cant eat much. 

 

I don't know what to do, I just want my boy back. The one I fell for, the one who loved me and would do anything for me but I think he's gone?

 

I posted this awhile back and I've just checked in today to see I've had a reply to it and a message about this.

So I thought I'd update everyone.

 

Things for awhile got better... he started working and was out 10-9 dealing with work, which was perfect because me and baby wake up at 10 am and go to bed at 9pm. So things for me and baby improved 100%, however chirstms came.

And with Christmas brought arguments, again. 

We broke up for awhile but sadly I had to still live with him, I have no family and nowhere to turn to really so I'd have to stay put until money and housing is sorted. His mother tried to get rid of me, he got even more abusive and eventually. ... well I just stopped caring for him, in fact i dont like him, and yeah he's damn right abusive. So to stop his abuse from escalating I've took him back until I can find a way out.

 

We are looking to move house now, well I am anyway. I plan on getting a house and money sorted and just picking baby up and going, or moving everything and dropping it on him that we are moving but he isn't.  

I've threatened to tell his family and friends about everything, plus the police, I'll keep this on the down low for now and use his abuse to my advantage, he won't want his dad finding out so if he wants to keep it like that then he better let me and baby take our leave when the time comes.

 

As for posting on reddit, I'm reluctant to because I have friends on there who will find it and know right away that it's me who's posted it. So best to avoid reddit.

[Grandmother_cathie]

On 1/21/2018 at 10:45 PM, Earth Gurl said:

I feel like I just need a hug. <snip> Now he's having complications and he's really really bad off, and I'm trying to care for him, and nothing I'm doing is helping and he's becoming impatient with me. And now he's telling me that I'm not doing enough to keep up with my appearance... but all I'm doing is working and studying and I have very little time for laundry, cooking, cleaning, maintaining my junk car, taking care of everything he needs from me, etc. and so any extra time sleeping is appreciated... so now I feel gross and disgusting and that I'm completely useless. I'm also so extremely weak from that bug... I lost 10 lbs and I currently weigh the same as I did sophomore year of high school. I'm just so overwhelmed, but I really want to succeed.... ugh...

 

ETA: I also thought "hey, I've got a bit of extra funds saved up... I'm gonna treat myself to a new tattoo [a pretty affordable one, at that], and my bf tells me not to get it because green tattoos look ugly on me and make me look like a lizard... (I have a large tattoo on my back that has a lot of green in it)... I think he's just against tattoos in general... but I had 3 before I ever started dating him.  

 

On 1/24/2018 at 12:48 PM, Earth Gurl said:

<snip>. He drinks quite often, but he has an illness where it's not very good for him. The other night we were with one of his friends and he was feeling very poorly, and I told him, just stop drinking now (they had almost finished a 30 pack of Natural Light), and his friend went on and on about how he was less of a man if he quit drinking. So I said last night that he succumbs to peer pressure easily. He got really furious and said that I didn't need to say things like that to put him down and make him feel bad about himself.<snip>

 

Take it from an old lady who knows.  These are signs of abuse, not a positive, healthy relationship.  A person who cares about you may say that their parents are anti-tattoo, but they wouldn't want their beloved to hide in a sweater in the heat.  A person who wants you by their side doesn't allow their friends to belittle your opinion.  A person who cares for you can have bad days, but they will come back around later and express regret for the way they acted. A person who is being taken care of should not be complaining about their caretaker's appearance unless what they are saying is, "Come sit down, my love, you look tired.  Please rest a bit."  A person who is doing poorly should not be compounding their poor illness by drinking vast quantities of alcohol with their "friends."  Alcohol will not tuck you in at night.  Alcohol will not pay your bills.  A little is fine.  Too much of anything is nasty. 

In closing, lizards are fascinating and beautiful creatures. They come in every color of the rainbow, not just green.

[Earth Gurl]

13 hours ago, Grandmother_cathie said:

Take it from an old lady who knows.  These are signs of abuse, not a positive, healthy relationship.  A person who cares about you may say that their parents are anti-tattoo, but they wouldn't want their beloved to hide in a sweater in the heat.  A person who wants you by their side doesn't allow their friends to belittle your opinion.  A person who cares for you can have bad days, but they will come back around later and express regret for the way they acted. A person who is being taken care of should not be complaining about their caretaker's appearance unless what they are saying is, "Come sit down, my love, you look tired.  Please rest a bit."  A person who is doing poorly should not be compounding their poor illness by drinking vast quantities of alcohol with their "friends."  Alcohol will not tuck you in at night.  Alcohol will not pay your bills.  A little is fine.  Too much of anything is nasty. 

In closing, lizards are fascinating and beautiful creatures. They come in every color of the rainbow, not just green.

 

I agree with you. I really opened up and talked about the way I was feeling with him, and he did the same. He apologized and it seems to me like the illness is making him self-conscious and a little crazy. He's been making a huge effort to appreciate me more and be more patient despite how he's feeling. It doesn't excuse his behavior sometimes, but I do see how hard he's trying. We talked about the tattoo thing, and I pretty much went off and said "That's not the right way to speak to me about it. I don't mind that you're against tattoos, but it's not a fact that they make me look worse or ugly, I know plenty of people who love my tattoos and think my back piece is awesome." And I basically told him, "Yeah, I mean I'm going to do what I want with my body since it's not like I'm getting tattooed on my forehead, and it'll be really pretty and make me happy" and he didn't seem to argue with those points. I just think he hates tattoos and he just really wants to deter me from getting them. Which is stupid. He also vowed to cut down on drinking because he realizes it's not good for him.

 

He still gets impatient with me, but I feel like that's just one of his flaws that we'll both have to deal with. I just have a lot of work to do; I honestly refuse to let myself get like I was before. I had been out of an abusive relationship for a year when I got with him. My ex was basically the anti-christ. I mean anything you can think of that a guy can do to break a girl, he did them all except being "violent". (I say violent in quotes for a reason). I also found out that I have an infection in my kidneys (it runs in my family) and that explains why I was so overwhelmed and frustrated and exhausted. Just a bad mix altogether. 

 

In happier news, after our long talk, we had a great day together Sunday. We spent all day watching the Office, we had Cracker Barrel, and watched the Super Bowl and had a couple of beers and danced together to music all night. He really is my best friend, and we fight like we're 12 sometimes. We test each other. Which isn't healthy, but.... one issue at a time.  Thank you all for really telling me like it is. I did a lot of thinking over it and made a conscious effort to get results. Sometimes I just get complacent and let people walk all over me without realizing it or doing anything about it. I don't think he realized that his "jokes" were having that effect on me either. 

[HeatherMarie]

Okay, I know this is so totally not a big deal compared to most other stuff in this thread, but... I'm sort of shaken and upset and just need to get it out somewhere where I won't be told it doesn't matter or it's just fantasy or I can't do anything about it so it's useless feeling this way. Please, please don't say those things, I get enough of that at home.

 

I just learned that the show Once Upon a Time has been cancelled, the current 7th season will be it's last. It's hard to explain how I feel about that, really, but... I'm shaken. I knew it was probably coming, the signs were there, they royally screwed up with this 'reboot/sequel/requel' thing this season and lost a very large portion of their viewers.... That doesn't make it hurt any less. I discovered OUAT at the end of season 1, actually I read a OUAT fanfic by an author who wrote in a fandom I was already in and got curious about the characters and story so I decided to check it out, and fell madly in love with it. I'm part of multiple OUAT Facebook groups, I consider myself a loyal Evil Regal (fans of Lana Parrilla, who plays Regina Mills aka the Evil Queen), I've spent way more money then I care to admit on merchandise over the years (I currently sleep on a pillow with the image that's on the season 1 dvd set). It's been a huge, huge part of my life for six years now. I've spent countless hours debating with people about theories and plotholes and ships, I've read more fanfics then I can count, at certain points in time OUAT was pretty much the only positive thing in my life. This show, this fandom, means a lot to me, and while I know that fandoms don't necessarily die off once a show ends, it won't be the same. 

 

Some people would probably point out that I've very vocally trashed the current season, the decision to time-jump and bring in so many new characters and the horrible loss of so many of the original cast... It's true, I've fairly hated much of this season so far. It's not the same show, not at all, most of the new actors just don't feel right in the story and I can't seem to get attached to any of them (the exception is Alice/Tilly and Robin and their storyline). When I started watching the show Emma was my favorite, my main reason for watching, and she's no longer on the show at all. But again, that doesn't make it hurt any less. I've gotten so attached to these characters, especially Regina, I've gotten attached to the fans and the actors and... I'm just feeling sort of empty right now. Like a very big part of my happiness was suddenly taken away.

[Ruby Eyes]

@HeatherMarie: That royally sucks. I don't know the show itself, but I do know how it feels when the current favourite is being cancelled for whatever reasons.

I see mainly three options, though I don't know if either of those are doable in your case.

- Carry on the spirit of the show within the fandom, with fanfics and whatever else is at your disposal there.

- Hope and wait for another producer to continue the show (the least likely one, I would guess).

- Give it (and its characters) a farewell party.

[DocMumma13]

I don’t normally bother people with my issues, but this round of Chemo treatments is weighing heavy on me.  The financial stress is sometimes more than I can take (thousands of dollars) and then to make it extra special there is the physical aspect to it as well.  Feeling ill and barely wanting to eat.  I am getting tired as I am going on 5 years of actively fighting this bone cancer. 

 

Thank you for listening.

 

Blessings,

 

Doc Mumma

[Ruby Eyes]

@DocMumma13 Wow, 5 years! My mother just started, so you're giving me some hope that I may have her for another while with me!

I hope you feel better soon - wishing you the best you can get!

[Fuzzbucket]

On 2/7/2018 at 4:57 AM, HeatherMarie said:

Okay, I know this is so totally not a big deal compared to most other stuff in this thread, but... I'm sort of shaken and upset and just need to get it out somewhere where I won't be told it doesn't matter or it's just fantasy or I can't do anything about it so it's useless feeling this way. Please, please don't say those things, I get enough of that at home.

 

I just learned that the show Once Upon a Time has been cancelled, the current 7th season will be it's last. It's hard to explain how I feel about that, really, but... I'm shaken. I knew it was probably coming, the signs were there, they royally screwed up with this 'reboot/sequel/requel' thing this season and lost a very large portion of their viewers.... That doesn't make it hurt any less. I discovered OUAT at the end of season 1, actually I read a OUAT fanfic by an author who wrote in a fandom I was already in and got curious about the characters and story so I decided to check it out, and fell madly in love with it. I'm part of multiple OUAT Facebook groups, I consider myself a loyal Evil Regal (fans of Lana Parrilla, who plays Regina Mills aka the Evil Queen), I've spent way more money then I care to admit on merchandise over the years (I currently sleep on a pillow with the image that's on the season 1 dvd set). It's been a huge, huge part of my life for six years now. I've spent countless hours debating with people about theories and plotholes and ships, I've read more fanfics then I can count, at certain points in time OUAT was pretty much the only positive thing in my life. This show, this fandom, means a lot to me, and while I know that fandoms don't necessarily die off once a show ends, it won't be the same. 

 

Some people would probably point out that I've very vocally trashed the current season, the decision to time-jump and bring in so many new characters and the horrible loss of so many of the original cast... It's true, I've fairly hated much of this season so far. It's not the same show, not at all, most of the new actors just don't feel right in the story and I can't seem to get attached to any of them (the exception is Alice/Tilly and Robin and their storyline). When I started watching the show Emma was my favorite, my main reason for watching, and she's no longer on the show at all. But again, that doesn't make it hurt any less. I've gotten so attached to these characters, especially Regina, I've gotten attached to the fans and the actors and... I'm just feeling sort of empty right now. Like a very big part of my happiness was suddenly taken away.

 

I'm with you. I haven't seen series 7 yet - I wait for them to come out on DVD - and I'm upset already, now that you've said this. I had heard that series 7 was a huge disappointment, but even so.... I only heard about it at all a year ago, and was about to buy series 1 to see what it was all about - series 1-5 boxed cost less than series 1 x 2, so... I have been binge watching ever since. (And I LOATHE MaryMargaret and her hairdo - I don't knwo why but UGH....) but am fine with Snow IN THE FOREST or even in the underworld, with enough hair !) And yes to Regina.

 

I was still getting over Warehouse 13. This is another blow. Hardly life threatening, but - yes, I'm upset too.

[Predat0rs]

I've decided to quit DC. Permanently. I have been away from DC for about a month. A close friend died in January. I was grieving. Crying. Still am. I finally had a moment of happiness a week ago. I come back to over 50 messages. Many of them malicious in nature. Calling me names. Irresponsible trader, scammer, among other choice words. Essentially, a piece of because I was way too emotionally distraught to play DC. And now I'm even more depressed. A game that was fun, and had a friendly atmosphere, turned nasty simply due to a real life issue of mine that put me in a depressed mindset over my loss. I'm done. Nearly 10 years of my life spent on this game, and I am done. I can't handle being yelled at, and called names, for things out of my control. I don't even want to reply to that person, and say I am sorry for my absence. I will give what I owed them to a mediator, who will give them the egg. I will finish up with my other IOUs - as I am NOT the POS that these people think I am - and then leave.

[HeatherMarie]

Oh my goodness @PREDATOR I'm so sorry for your loss. Of course dealing with the death of someone close to you is so, so much more important then some silly game, and I'm so sorry that you came back to such negativity. I can see how someone disappearing suddenly may be frustrating if you're trying to trade with them, but life happens. And you've been a member here for a long time now, relatively well-known, I can't believe anyone could possibly think you were deliberately scamming. I'm so sorry, I wish you well.

[Starscream]

6 hours ago, PREDATOR said:

I've decided to quit DC. Permanently. I have been away from DC for about a month. A close friend died in January. I was grieving. Crying. Still am. I finally had a moment of happiness a week ago. I come back to over 50 messages. Many of them malicious in nature. Calling me names. Irresponsible trader, scammer, among other choice words. Essentially, a piece of because I was way too emotionally distraught to play DC. And now I'm even more depressed. A game that was fun, and had a friendly atmosphere, turned nasty simply due to a real life issue of mine that put me in a depressed mindset over my loss. I'm done. Nearly 10 years of my life spent on this game, and I am done. I can't handle being yelled at, and called names, for things out of my control. I don't even want to reply to that person, and say I am sorry for my absence. I will give what I owed them to a mediator, who will give them the egg. I will finish up with my other IOUs - as I am NOT the POS that these people think I am - and then leave.

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

 

I strongly urge you to report each and everyone of those malicious PMs so that Moderators can take a look and deal with the members who are attacking you. You do not have to put up with that, even if IOU's are not supported in game, you have rights to a pleasant  experience. I'm going to PM you.

[purpledragonclaw]

1 hour ago, Starscream said:

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

 

I strongly urge you to report each and everyone of those malicious PMs so that Moderators can take a look and deal with the members who are attacking you. You do not have to put up with that, even if IOU's are not supported in game, you have rights to a pleasant  experience. I'm going to PM you.

 

And I will reinforce this publicly.

 

NO ONE HERE should have to tolerate getting harassing PMs from other members. If anyone is victim of this, please PM a moderator, regardless of section, so we can take care of it. We take this seriously and want everyone here to have as pleasant an experience as possible!

[Ruby Eyes]

@PREDATOR Gosh, that's a nasty thing to find in your mailbox! I'm sorry for your loss - and I'll miss you

[Draconiusultamius]

@PREDATOR It's terrible that someone would do that to you.  We will all miss you very much (minus about one real POS).  Its terrible that anybody would send these messages to you, regardless of whether they knew the circumstances behind your absence or not.  Honoring an IOU is important, but not to the point of calling somebody names.  You also have a really good record with IOUs, so I don't see why others would automatically jump to the conclusion that you were an irresponsible player, especially when you obviously weren't on for an entire month, which is out of character for you.  I really wish you didn't have to go this way, leaving a game you clearly loved with all these negative feelings.  I really hope you find happiness in your future endeavors, regardless of what they may be.

[DaniBoo]

I feel so alone. trigger warning: alcohol

 

I moved to a city for college and I've made no friends. I'm not exactly a social butterfly, so I'm pretty much alone for the majority of the day. I never leave my dorm room and no matter how many times I reach out to my hometown friends through text messages they ignore me. I'm so deprived of human interaction and support. My anxiety is going through the roof as I watch my friendships at home deteriorate. I've tried making friends here at my college, but I'm so incredibly shy that it has pretty much been a bust. This whole situation is making my drinking problem worse, and my 19th birthday is in two days which means I'm legally allowed to purchase alcohol. I know I won't be able to control myself with legal access to alcohol, and I know I'm heading down a slippery slope but I just don't have the energy or strength to stop myself. Usually my friends would check up on me to make sure I wasn't drinking, but nobody messages me anymore so I'm assuming they don't care. I just need a hug, haven't had one in a while  

Edited February 13, 2018 by DaniBoo

[prpldrgnfr]

@DaniBoo-*hugs*  I care.  Are there any campus support groups that might be useful?

[Ruby Eyes]

Can't deliver a real one, so have a virtual one: {{@DaniBoo}} (those are my arms wrapped around you)

Being alone when you don't want to just sucks.

[DaniBoo]

@Ruby Eyes @prpldrgnfr thank you for the hugs. <3 I talked to a counsellor at my college today and have set up an appointment to meet with him. Hopefully it will be of help, I've never had to talk to a counsellor before so I'm not really sure what to expect 

[RainDear]

DaniBoo first, ((((HUGGSS)))

 

I'm going to tell you something I told my son many years ago. Counseling is like a kiss (or hug). If you don't fully participate, it won't work. This means you have to be open and answer questions and really tell the truth about what you are feeling.

 

I know what it's like to feel more comfortable on the sidelines or staying at home because you are shy and afraid to participate in groups, but I also know that when I did participate and get involved I always enjoyed myself and was glad I did. Look for activities that interest you and go see what's happening. You're at college there must be some things going on that would interest you. If you can get yourself involved in something, it will help you avoid the pitfalls of drinking. If you can't find anything else, maybe look into volunteering a couple of hours a week somewhere. Perhaps an old folks home or animal shelter. You don't have to be alone, really.

[HeatherMarie]

*sends hugs to @DaniBoo* Talking to a counselor is definitely a good step to take, and honestly just *realizing* that you may have a hard time controlling yourself with legal access to alcohol, that's a huge step in the right direction all by itself. I know nothing about colleges in Canada, but it's possible there may be support groups at the college or near to it... A lot of people have issues adjusting to college life and a lot of colleges recognize that.

[DaniBoo]

@HeatherMarie thank you, I'm hoping there are support groups at my college. I wouldn't mind travelling outside of the college community for something like that but being amongst my peers would be more comforting for me. I'm sure my counsellor will be able to point me in the right direction