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Description Force!

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A question regarding guidelines -

I might at some point describe some dragons that are based on actual (historical) people. I would like to include their birth years, but Valkemare (probably) doesn't have the Gregorian calendar, or any official "year numbers" that we know of (so far).

Could I just make up something like "year 1750 of the Confused Dragon Calendar"? I assume some dragon populations will have their own calendars, just like some countries/religions on Earth.

Any other ideas?

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I'd shorten it to CDC like AD or BC otherwise that's fine I used that myself here AH obviously meaning After Herk ;) (the dragon was a birthday gift)

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6 hours ago, Herk said:

 I used that myself here AH obviously meaning After Herk ;)

 

I love that dragon's description!  :D

Thanks for your input. I think I'll try that and see if it gets approved. (That is, if I ever get to the description stage of that very very big project...)

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Hello everyone! I'm kinda new but I've already tried writing descriptions for two of my dragons, and I've reviewed a few!

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21 minutes ago, mukuroikusabas said:

Hello everyone! I'm kinda new but I've already tried writing descriptions for two of my dragons, and I've reviewed a few!

Welcome! :)

 

I keep hitting the end of my review queue.

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4 minutes ago, Lagie said:

Welcome! :)

 

I keep hitting the end of my review queue.

 

There's a limit to how many you can review?

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34 minutes ago, mukuroikusabas said:

 

There's a limit to how many you can review?

Nope. But I'm so caught up that I've reviewed all there is to review. XD

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Just now, Lagie said:

Nope. But I'm so caught up that I've reviewed all there is to review. XD

 

Oh pfft okay, I was confused! Maybe you've seen my dragons then 8O

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18 minutes ago, mukuroikusabas said:

 

Oh pfft okay, I was confused! Maybe you've seen my dragons then 8O

Possibly! :D

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The number of waiting descriptions is officially below 1,000!

 

I realized it was about this time last year I reduced them to 0, so I'm gonna try to shoot for that again, hehe.

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Well done! :D

And thank you!

 

I get to the end of my review queue daily.

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Number of waiting descriptions below 750. : >

 

I've had more energy to chip at them during the day.

 

User comments/critique on poetry are especially helpful since I don't write poetry myself : D

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Posted (edited)

Well done, @Kaini! :D

I keep hitting the end of my review queue (saw a few of yours!).

What do you think of the ones that have several quotes at the end? I abstained as I wasn't sure about them.

Edited by Lagie

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2 hours ago, Lagie said:

What do you think of the ones that have several quotes at the end? I abstained as I wasn't sure about them.

 

Considering the quotes seem to have nothing to do with the rest of the description (???), I don't think they fly as-is.

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8 hours ago, Kaini said:

 

Considering the quotes seem to have nothing to do with the rest of the description (???), I don't think they fly as-is.

That's kind of how I felt. They seemed to be quotes of things the dragon says but it doesn't work as presented.

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666 descriptions remaining to be moderated, heh. Hehe

 

Will try to get it below 600 tonight.

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XD

Good number!

Well done!

*tosses confetti*

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Description for a female Vampire:

 

Stealth and speed are Athani's assets and talents.She seems almost supernatural. It is said she can bite an egg under the parents' very noses before they can react. As she moves through the forest, she catches the intoxicating scent of a freshly laid egg. As she approaches on silent feet, she nearly faints with the excitement of the chase. There it is, in that small clearing. A young mother dragon has fallen asleep holding her first egg close to her chest. Athani bites the egg in her arms and disappears back into the trees waiting for the stench to waken the mother. She watches as the mother tries to resuscitate the egg then loses hope and brokenly leaves the egg and wanders sadly away from the site. Then, Athani creeps in to claim her prize. 

 

Critiques, corrections, suggestions?

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Athani bites the egg in her arms - could perhaps be Athani bites the egg in the young mother's arms as right now it kind of reads as the egg being in Athani's arms.

(poor mother. :(  )

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This is more of a personal preference, but since you are describing something as if it is in the moment, that is as if you are forcing the reader to experience it with the dragon in real time. Which I consider forced RP and is a No-No of mine. So I would change it so that she is describing the delight of the hunt of a fresh new egg of an poor unsuspecting brand new mother's first clutch or what not. Or give the story of how she prefers her hunts, but not so much in real time. Does that make sense? It is more of a verb or story tense thing (timing tense of verbs and other words).

 

But I really like it and think it is fantastic and well done. So if not very good as is, very close!

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On a minor note, there is no space after the first sentence of Athani's description. Also:

Quote

She watches as the mother tries to resuscitate the egg then loses hope and brokenly leaves the egg and wanders sadly away from the site. Then, Athani creeps in to claim her prize.


I would turn the 'and' into a 'then', and the 'Then' (next sentence) into an 'Afterwards'. This isn't necessary, but I think it might flow better. 

 

Overall I agree, this is a pretty good description.

Edited by Kakaru_of_DOOM

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Quote

Accept: XD Just clicked on her egg in your siggy! - L

Oh! You're welcome! :D I should think of something to replace the link...

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Just curious, what's the turnaround time on getting Descriptions approved so they appear on the scroll? I recall way back when it was hit or miss - I had one that that was approved by a mod within the month, but another one sitting there for at least 3 months before a mod got to it. I don't actually remember how long it took. Long enough that I lost interest in checking, and now I don't remember which dragon that was lol.

 

I'm writing some descriptions right now for some of my Halloween dragons, just curious if anything has changed with how they are reviewed and approved....

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Oh, cool!

 

And if I wanted to review other users' descriptions, how would I go about doing that? I've never tried before, but I've got all this free time on my hands suddenly (long story short: my boss let me go because of a work injury).

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