Jump to content
Descripforce

Description Force!

Recommended Posts

Comments, critiques on my heartseekers' valentine-themed description?

 

Charming Chocolate Prince has struck the heart of many a female dragon, what with his proud wings and grand stature, but he secretly rues the attention and feels very lonely. He has yet to find one that cares for him and not his looks. Every day as he walks the weather beaten path do his sweet little cottage in the woods, he dreams he finds the dragon of his dreams, but that only makes it hurt more when he wakes up...

 

Edit. Autocorrected. HEARTSEEKER, NOT HEARTSICKNESS

I would change "weather beaten" to "weather-beaten" since it is an adjective used to describe the path "noun", and I would change "do" to "to" in the partial sentence "Every day as he walks the weather beaten path do his sweet little cottage in the woods". Other than that it looks fine to me.

Edited by purpledragonclaw

Share this post


Link to post

Hi everyone! I've started describing my dragons and I know that I'm a very curious person, and just in case some of you are too, I'm saying this. smile.gif

A lot of my dragon descriptions reference other dragons I'm also going to describe, so if you see one and are curious about the other dragons in the story, feel free to PM me and tell me which dragon description you read and which ones you would like to read that go with it. smile.gif I know that I would probably really want to know so yeah. smile.gif

I'm describing terrae dragons with the last name Forrest and my scroll name is omgmonkeyrdaage. smile.gif

Share this post


Link to post

WOW after half a year I finally got my description approved...xd.png

Congrats! (You're Ashera? Did I know that before? Oops, no you're not. Like me, you have offspring from them.)

Edited by Lagie

Share this post


Link to post

Yes, I have multiple offsprings from Ashera and I got them from the AP. laugh.gif

Edited by love_HP

Share this post


Link to post
Description for Dragon called Sir Moans a Lot. His code is TMOan so I really couldn't resist.

 

"Sir Moans a Lot is not really this Dragon's name. He won't tell anyone his real name though and loves his nickname.

He got it by dressing up in a white sheet at Halloween and running around Cireth's cave trying to spook Cireth's other Dragons. He especially enjoyed lying in wait and making eerie moaning and groaning noises from a hiding place when dragons thought they were alone.

He enjoyed this so much he did it for the next two nights as well. By this time Cireth's Dragons didn't think it was so funny anymore and gave him his nickname in the hopes of making him stop. Unfortunately this had the opposite effect and he only stopped when Cireth's hatchlings stole his ghost costume."

 

What do y'all think?

I read that on site and loled

Share this post


Link to post

To whichever moderator went through the Avatar descriptions: Thank you so much! Finding several of my dragons' descriptions approved was a nice surprise. Sorry I accidentally resubmitted one of my AoDs xd.png

Share this post


Link to post

May I make a suggestion here?

 

It would be nice IF, if a description was rejected by the mods, the reasons for the rejection were given.

 

I basically had to scrap the description in question and I have no idea what was wrong with it.

Share this post


Link to post
The mods do usually give you a reason. huh.gif

I didn't see one. Or maybe I missed it.

 

It just said that it had been rejected.

 

It just bothers me because there was nothing offensive in it that i was aware of. SO I am not sure on what grounds it was rejected.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post

If that happens, I would suggest sending a message to a mod who's known to review (e.g. Rubyshoes), with a copy of the description and ask for their feedback. There's always the possibility that it was an accidental misclick, which would explain why no reason was given and then you could resubmit. If you no longer have the description text, then you'll just have to write a new one. :/

 

(I know this has happened to someone before but I don't recall hearing what the final result was.)

Share this post


Link to post

If that happens, I would suggest sending a message to a mod who's known to review (e.g. Rubyshoes), with a copy of the description and ask for their feedback. There's always the possibility that it was an accidental misclick, which would explain why no reason was given and then you could resubmit. If you no longer have the description text, then you'll just have to write a new one. :/

 

(I know this has happened to someone before but I don't recall hearing what the final result was.)

I'll just have to write a new one, I guess. I cleared it out thinking it wouldn't work to repost it... and that I might get in trouble if I did.

 

Thanks for answering my questions, by the way.

Edited by Silverswift

Share this post


Link to post
May I make a suggestion here?

 

It would be nice IF, if a description was rejected by the mods, the reasons for the rejection were given.

 

I basically had to scrap the description in question and I have no idea what was wrong with it.

I already heard from one person who had a reject that I specifically remember approving. Due to the setup on the page, it's easier than you'd think to do things like that. I'm really sorry you just deleted your hard work - in the future, please do post here or PM a mod and check and see what happened first before making more work for yourself when it may be unnecessary. <3

Share this post


Link to post

I already heard from one person who had a reject that I specifically remember approving. Due to the setup on the page, it's easier than you'd think to do things like that. I'm really sorry you just deleted your hard work - in the future, please do post here or PM a mod and check and see what happened first before making more work for yourself when it may be unnecessary. <3

I will keep that in mind in the future, Sockie. :3

 

IF I have to rewrite the description, I have to rewrite it... it is what it is.

 

BUT if it can maybe be fixed by checking here, first then... by all means I shall do so.

Edited by Silverswift

Share this post


Link to post

Thoughts on?

 

Mecru's egg was such a beautiful azure, it reminded his parents of the small moon, Cirion. They almost named him that, but decided against it, as there must have been many Moonstone dragons out there named after moons, so they decided on the Moon-like name, Mecru. Sadly, they couldn't care of him any more, and left him in a stash of other eggs. As soon as Emma saw the shimmer on his egg, she took it in right away. He was such a happy hatchling, bouncing around, making friends with all the dragons, Emma no longer worried about them picking on him, and let them play games with him, and he grew up splendidly into a magnificent dragon they now call Mecru Lozanov.

 

No one has made any corrections in their comments, so I assume it's okay.

Share this post


Link to post

My first Personal Lineage has finally taken off and of course the progenitors gets the first descriptions on my scroll

 

Kihfodkado Acfado-rehd

 

Kihfodkado Acfado-rehd is something of an anomaly. Malakh found her egg nestled in a large, pine needle-filled cave in the mountains along with her clutch mates. Delighted in finding the egg of a previously unknown species, Malakh only just managed to grab the egg before a whole flight of what are now known as Turpentine Dragons came back to gather their eggs.

Kihfodkado acts like a normal Turpentine most of the times. Noticeable, however, is her habit of making a nest of pine needles to ward off the cold instead of digging herself a sand pit like the rest of her kin. This has had the effect of making the oily secretions that give Turpentines their name less pungent while still retaining its toxicity. She also seems to prefer hunting rather than scavenging or stealing food.

She is mated to Lohtawhaj Zidwco-rehd and despite his voluble, figuratively speaking, objections continues to coat all of their eggs with oil.

 

Just waiting for this description to be approved (already have one accept w/o comment) before writing the one for her mate.

Share this post


Link to post

Grats, MalakhGlitch

I always wanted to do a lineage myself and describe the dragons.

Share this post


Link to post

An update to my post above: Kihfodkado's description now has 2 accepts. Still waiting for a mod to approve it, but I am feeling quite confident.

 

I decided to make her mate's description: Lohtawhaj Zidwco-rehd

 

Lohtawhaj Zidwco-rehd's egg was part of an exchange between Malakh and Rhetsura. As luck would have it he was one of three Copper Dragon eggs in the nursery at the time and so did not lack for company when he hatched.

He first noticed his mate, Kihfodkado Acfado-rehd, when he observed her hunting. This took him by surprise as the rest of the Turpentines usually preferred to scavenge or steal food. He could not help admiring her and he started stalking her as she hunted until one day she just sat down and demanded he show himself because she could "hear him a mile away" and that he was "behaving like a hatchling."

Lohtawhaj is very fond of his mate, but despite all his protestations she insists on rubbing oil all over their eggs, wreaking havoc with his already dulled sense of smell, the natural consequence of being mated to a Turpentine.

Share this post


Link to post

So I have this description:

 

A very tomboyish dragoness, Seleneshimmer enjoys nothing more than tinkering with spare parts she finds around the cave and finds females who constantly swoon over males to be "silly". Part of her enthusiasm for mechanics stems from the fact that she lost her left front- and hind-paw in an accident when she was barely hatched and now uses metal-and-enchantment prosthetics. The other reason is it gives her an excuse to be away from her snooty foster mother and sisters. Due to the accident, which was actually a fire set on purpose by her villianous aunt Levanaclaw, she has no early memories and didn't learn until recently that she is the true heir to the Lunar throne. Though she has slowly started to accept her past, she still prefers to be called 'Cinderwing', the name given to her by her foster father.

 

And I was just wondering if the reference to her metal limbs makes sense lore-wise. The description is based on a character from one of my favorite book series, though in the original the character is a cyborg in a dystopian future which definitely doesn't fit DC. lol

 

The way I was imagining the 'tweaked-to-fit-DC' version is that one of my other dragons who likes to invent things made the metal parts and a Magi (or even several) enchanted them to work like the real thing. I do have enough space left over that I could add some clarification if need be, and if making things out of metal is "too advanced" I could change it to wood or something like that.

Share this post


Link to post

I'd accept it. On Earth, humans have been making stuff out of metal for thousands of years (granted it was for simpler things than replacement limbs). Medieval Europe is definitely "advanced" enough, especially when you can say some of the complicated bits are magic. You can explain almost everything with magic!

 

I find that my descriptions that allude to modern/sci-fi tech in some way are approved when I vaguely mention its components, which you did for Cinderwing. This one by god_matter has always tickled me. He wears a racing helmet and drives a car.

Edited by dirtytabs

Share this post


Link to post

Thanks for the feedback you two. c: Kinda like in the BSA Requests section, I didn't want to just say something like "because magic, that's why!" but then end up getting too technical/away from the lore.

Share this post


Link to post
So I have this description:

 

 

 

And I was just wondering if the reference to her metal limbs makes sense lore-wise. The description is based on a character from one of my favorite book series, though in the original the character is a cyborg in a dystopian future which definitely doesn't fit DC. lol

 

The way I was imagining the 'tweaked-to-fit-DC' version is that one of my other dragons who likes to invent things made the metal parts and a Magi (or even several) enchanted them to work like the real thing. I do have enough space left over that I could add some clarification if need be, and if making things out of metal is "too advanced" I could change it to wood or something like that.

Metal prostheses are older than you'd think. Götz von Berlichingen had one in the 16th Century that could grip things. Combine that with the magic in Dc, and voila!

Share this post


Link to post

Oh yeah! One more thing. If you really want some integral piece of technology that you think is too "modern" for DC and can't be explained away with magic, you can instead do a long-winded explanation of its construction.

 

For instance, one can write about a spitfire who keeps boxes of clear glass fragments and thin metal sticks in the back of her home. When she has time, she melts the glass with her brilliant flame in a stone pot and holds the hot blob in the air with telekinesis, letting it cool in flat, egg shapes. The glass pieces turn smoky but remain translucent when held in the smoke of a fire. Then the dragon carefully twists and cuts the metal around two of the chips so the final product can rest comfortably on her snout while the lenses in front of her eyes darken her vision a little. She peddles these wearable dimming devices to the more light sensitive dragons in the desert.

 

Writing about electronics might be hard, though.

Share this post


Link to post

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.