Description Force!

[Noivern]

Awesome, thank you!

 

Also, another question for you all: Are there not many dragons in the queue? I've been at this for a few hours between today and yesterday, and I keep getting the same dragons to vote on. :\ Thus far I've been refreshing the page to get a new dragon, but is it possible that my original vote didn't "register" or something?

[Lagie]

It's possible that the person who wrote the description is making corrections that you may see come through, or (as has happened before) perhaps they don't realize you can navigate away from the description page without clicking 'submit'. If that's the case, and you see it several times with no changes, perhaps suggest to them that they only click submit once!

[dreamtosleep]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YAY!

 

I finally got my "Luna Varga"s description approved!

 

Here it is!

 

Luna Varga loves to incinerate things with her fire. She does not attack people unless they provoke her, but apparently she has a problem with the trees, or maybe she's just too lazy to walk around them. She has rather small wings, and she can only fly for short distances. Zyrephon, her soul mate, does most of the hunting, and tends to her every wish. She tends to wish a lot, and Zyrephon is often overburdened, but he does his best, and Luna Varga loves him because of it.

 

Okay, I used "Tend" a few times a bit close together, but HEY! IT'S APPROVED! And TEND has two meaings, or more.

 

Tend: to look after; watch over and care for; minister to or wait on with service:

Tend: to be disposed or inclined in action, operation, or effect to do something:

Edited December 22, 2014 by EmmaD333

[Noivern]

Lagie: Ohh, that makes sense. Upon closer inspection, a lot of the "duplicates" I'm seeing have minor changes. Thank you!

 

Congratulations, Emma! I wouldn't have noticed the "tend" bits if you hadn't pointed it out, honestly. c: Nice description and I love the visual of a Red dragon seeing trees in the way, saying "screw it," and just. burning it all down. Never mind walking around it, that'd be more trouble than it's worth.

[dreamtosleep]

Lagie: Ohh, that makes sense. Upon closer inspection, a lot of the "duplicates" I'm seeing have minor changes. Thank you!

 

Congratulations, Emma! I wouldn't have noticed the "tend" bits if you hadn't pointed it out, honestly. c: Nice description and I love the visual of a Red dragon seeing trees in the way, saying "screw it," and just. burning it all down. Never mind walking around it, that'd be more trouble than it's worth.

Thank you! I honestly thought the "Kill the trees" bit would be rejected, but I liked it too much to change.

 

It sometimes annoys me if people use the same word a few times close together, but whatever.

 

I realize that I have never officially "ASKED" to be a part of this so....

 

[magicallyofficial] May I join this project? [/magicallyofficial]

[pinkgothic]

I realize that I have never officially "ASKED" to be a part of this so....

 

[magicallyofficial] May I join this project? [/magicallyofficial]

Oh, you have to ask? Stop the press, strike my name from the list, I never filed my paperwork...!

 

More seriously, though, you're part of this when you want to be part of it. It's a self-identification thing more than anything. As long as you review descriptions (even just sometimes! Goodness knows just how little I do my part, it's embarrassing) and think they're awesome, you're automatically (kind of) part of this.

[Lagie]

Definitely no paperwork needed! Welcome to the force!

 

(Pinkgothic, is there something missing from one of your sentences? )

[pinkgothic]

(Pinkgothic, is there something missing from one of your sentences? )

Hmm. I can't figure it out. What do you think is missing? Re-reading what I said, everything seems to be accounted for - though I definitely used too many parentheses for the whole thing to be even remotely aesthetically pleasing.

[Lagie]

Hmm. I can't figure it out. What do you think is missing? Re-reading what I said, everything seems to be accounted for - though I definitely used too many parentheses for the whole thing to be even remotely aesthetically pleasing.

Hmm. It makes sense now. I think the closing parenthesis after embarrassing hadn't loaded, making the sentence really weird.

[MyaMouse]

Uh... Hello.

[Herk]

Hi there Mouse

 

Do you have any questions or are you just saying "Hello"?

[love_HP]

I am Myon the Great Bumper!

BTW what is the current situation of the queue?

[alexfoster]

May I join this project? I've been writing and editing descriptions lately as writing practice, and I think it would be nice to have the friendship and support of this community

[Herk]

EVERYONE may join - the more the merrier

 

So welcome alex, and why not come and hop into our irc channel #descripdoom to say "Hello"

[Shelybear]

Back from the death (not) !

[love_HP]

^I would say more like back from a hibernation. (Bear.)

[Gnora]

I got my first ever description approved!!! Yaaaaaaaay! So thrilled.

[Cireth]

Description for Dragon called Sir Moans a Lot. His code is TMOan so I really couldn't resist.

 

"Sir Moans a Lot is not really this Dragon's name. He won't tell anyone his real name though and loves his nickname.

He got it by dressing up in a white sheet at Halloween and running around Cireth's cave trying to spook Cireth's other Dragons. He especially enjoyed lying in wait and making eerie moaning and groaning noises from a hiding place when dragons thought they were alone.

He enjoyed this so much he did it for the next two nights as well. By this time Cireth's Dragons didn't think it was so funny anymore and gave him his nickname in the hopes of making him stop. Unfortunately this had the opposite effect and he only stopped when Cireth's hatchlings stole his ghost costume."

 

What do y'all think?

[Lagie]

Description for Dragon called Sir Moans a Lot. His code is TMOan so I really couldn't resist.

 

"Sir Moans a Lot is not really this Dragon's name. He won't tell anyone his real name though and loves his nickname.

He got it by dressing up in a white sheet at Halloween and running around Cireth's cave trying to spook Cireth's other Dragons. He especially enjoyed lying in wait and making eerie moaning and groaning noises from a hiding place when dragons thought they were alone.

He enjoyed this so much he did it for the next two nights as well. By this time Cireth's Dragons didn't think it was so funny anymore and gave him his nickname in the hopes of making him stop. Unfortunately this had the opposite effect and he only stopped when Cireth's hatchlings stole his ghost costume."

 

What do y'all think?

It's cute!

[love_HP]

We (me and Shely) got the idea of naming and describing dragons with themes of technical terms in our majors such as Architectural Technology and Marginal Propensity to Consume.

[Durppie]

Phineas is constantly trying to learn something new and has picked up quite a few skills that one wouldn't expect a Flamingo Wyvern to have. Some of them are useful like a bunch of fighting techniques, Earth magic, and psychology. Others less so, such as human hairstyling. Due to the sheer amounts of things he tosses himself into, he has yet to master or in quite a few cases rise above a novice's skill in such fields. Even with his surprising age he's yet to be proficient in over a half of the "talents" acquired. Though certainly it isn't from lack of trying.

He seems like a scientific minded type who is constantly curious, which is true. This curiousity has extended into a strange wish that Phineas hides for the time being. Given the fact that it's to mate with every species of dragon (no drakes or pygmies though), it won't stay secret for long. The few who do know this have noticed him looking at a few of the two-headed and vampire dragons with some frustration.

 

This might be pushing it but I don't know if I really want to get rid of the aspiring Captain Kirk part of the fella. I don't think its that inappropriate, but maybe I can get suggestions on how to word it "nicer"?

[Herk]

Maybe take a look at [http://dragcave.net/view/52waY](52way)[/url]? He has very similar aspirations

 

Edit: Link works now, thanks Shely for pointing out my fail

Edited February 5, 2015 by herk

[Shelybear]

Description for Dragon called Sir Moans a Lot. His code is TMOan so I really couldn't resist.

 

"Sir Moans a Lot is not really this Dragon's name. He won't tell anyone his real name though and loves his nickname.

He got it by dressing up in a white sheet at Halloween and running around Cireth's cave trying to spook Cireth's other Dragons. He especially enjoyed lying in wait and making eerie moaning and groaning noises from a hiding place when dragons thought they were alone.

He enjoyed this so much he did it for the next two nights as well. By this time Cireth's Dragons didn't think it was so funny anymore and gave him his nickname in the hopes of making him stop. Unfortunately this had the opposite effect and he only stopped when Cireth's hatchlings stole his ghost costume."

 

What do y'all think?

It's really good. I like the whole setting. <3

 

 

We (me and Shely) got the idea of naming and describing dragons with themes of technical terms in our majors such as Architectural Technology and Marginal Propensity to Consume. .png

Yeah I wrote this one which was inspired by doing revisions for exams.

 

The date on which Past Paper was created can be dated back to when the dragon kin became intelligent. Nobody has ever figured out exactly how old it is - not even itself. It has lived for centuries, witnessing the changes of the world and the development of dragons' technology. Its mind is like a library, recording all knowledge that it gathered from its birth to the present. And all this information is shown on its body as various patterns. Regretfully, none of the dragons now is capable to understand them. Past Paper is too old to move and just cuddles in his cave for ages. However, it might become more active every summer and winter.

 

 

 

Btw I got totally lost in the conversations between herk and Durppie...

 

I personally would not put this line "(no drakes or pygmies though)" on since it really doesn't say something useful and made me a little bit "jumped out of descriptions" when I went through it. Or if you insist to explain it, try another way... For example, ...species of dragon other than drakes or pygmies..

For the other parts, I'm just not sure if it is allowed to learn so many magics of other elements than its own... It looks fine, though.

 

And herk, what's that link? Is it a transfer link??

[Denwayasha]

@Durppie- That description sounds just fine to me, but maybe instead of the part in parentheses, if you think it looks odd you could change it to something like "Given that it's to breed with every dragon species that he is biologically able to, it won't stay secret for long." (italics are there just for emphasis on a possible change) Though I'm not one to talk as I use parentheses often in my descriptions. lol

 

I have a quick question (Though I guess it might fit better in the Description Comments thread...) but I wrote this description for one of my Desipis dragons with 'lime' in his code:

This Desipis dragon more than lives up to his breed's frightening reputation, and only the foolish would dare to approach him. The foolish... or those who know his one weakness. You see he has an insatiable appetite for citrus fruits, limes in particular, and though he tries to hide it because he finds it embarassing, many dragons and humans who find themselves venturing through his territory have started bringing along baskets of the tart fruit just in case. If they should encounter him, all it takes is a hefty throw of said basket in his direction and they can avoid him while he's eating.

 

And got this comment:

Accept: Needs a comma after "You" and before "see." Haha.

 

But that would make the sentence "You, see he has [...]", which doesn't look right to me, unless the reviewer meant that there should be a comma after 'see' as in "You see, he has [...]"? Or should I just leave the sentence how it is without a comma there?

[Durppie]

@Durppie- That description sounds just fine to me, but maybe instead of the part in parentheses, if you think it looks odd you could change it to something like "Given that it's to breed with every dragon species that he is biologically able to, it won't stay secret for long." (italics are there just for emphasis on a possible change) Though I'm not one to talk as I use parentheses often in my descriptions. lol

 

I have a quick question (Though I guess it might fit better in the Description Comments thread...) but I wrote this description for one of my Desipis dragons with 'lime' in his code:

 

 

And got this comment:

 

But that would make the sentence "You, see he has [...]", which doesn't look right to me, unless the reviewer meant that there should be a comma after 'see' as in "You see, he has [...]"? Or should I just leave the sentence how it is without a comma there?

I was looking for a way to make the description seem less sketchy as one reviewer advised me to remove the "strange wish", but I've appended the parenthetical part as suggested. I might remove the last sentence since it implies he would be ...curious about the two-headeds and vampires despite incapability of breeding. This would be a change for the better, right?

 

There should be a comma after see and before he. Maybe you should turn the comma after particular into a period and capitalize the A in and, making a new sentence. Because the third sentence in that description seems like it drags on for longer than it should.