Description Force!

[Sundew]

I'm taking a late start to NaNoWriMo. I don't have a specific goal, but will be trying for 1000 or so words a day. There is one project I am primarily working on, but I'm using this mainly as an opportunity to polish my writing skills, so descriptions and such are also being included--any recreational fiction writing right now, though I'll only be counting words from the main project.

[Mirhana]

I've never written anything longer than 3000 words and with exams and papers for two studies I'm too busy to add the stress of writing an entire novel to my workload, so I've settled for aiming at 150 descriptions by the end of the month. 15/150 so far, hoping to catch up later today

 

And a question: when reviewing, does the gender of an ungendered hatchling still show up on the reviewing page or is it just marked as an ungendered hatchling? Years ago an s1 hatchling would be shown as male or female on the reviewing page; I think it changed but I haven't seen any s1 hatchlings in a while.

Edited November 4, 2014 by Mirhana

[Lagie]

It shows as ungendered.

[Lagie]

Test your grammatical knowledge! (Comes in handy when writing and reviewing descriptions. )

http://www.playbuzz.com/shira10/do-you-kno...-english-tenses (16/16 for me...)

Edited November 8, 2014 by Lagie

[temposhark]

Hello! I know I'm fairly new to both DC and to this particular forum, but I just wanted to introduce myself as someone who is willing to help review descriptions! I've done a handful already, signing them off as -Tempo. It looks like you guys could use all the help you can get. Sounds like this queue is crazy long

 

Also: If we're sharing helpful writing links!

 

*presents my contributions and scuttles away*

[Cireth]

As there was no sig I hope the describer sees this here.

 

"Abstain: "realise" -->"realize" This description is pretty cute though. Reminds me of the Vampire-Guardian pairing I made up for two of my dragons."

 

I'm glad you like the description.

 

In regards to the spelling I'm British. "Realize" is American English. "Realise" is British English.

[brairtrainer]

Hello! I know I'm fairly new to both DC and to this particular forum, but I just wanted to introduce myself as someone who is willing to help review descriptions! I've done a handful already, signing them off as -Tempo. It looks like you guys could use all the help you can get. Sounds like this queue is crazy long

 

Also: If we're sharing helpful writing links!

 

*presents my contributions and scuttles away*

Glad to see more people reviewing :3 feel free to join us in the IRC #descripdoom if you have a chance. I'll see if I can get you added to our signature list.

[temposhark]

Hey, just wondering what you guys do when you find a description that just sounds overall awkward. Like, there's several things wrong with it structurally, but not technically (spelling, grammar, etc.) and you really can't advise on how to fix all the mistakes? Do you just straight up say "This is awkward, try to straighten it out." or what do you do about that?

[brairtrainer]

Hey, just wondering what you guys do when you find a description that just sounds overall awkward. Like, there's several things wrong with it structurally, but not technically (spelling, grammar, etc.) and you really can't advise on how to fix all the mistakes? Do you just straight up say "This is awkward, try to straighten it out." or what do you do about that?

I typicaly recomend the first one or two fixes or tell them to come here with there description to try and iron it out.

 

[temposhark]

So for the first option there it's a sort of fix it step by step process. Like, hopefully it'll come up again with changes kind of thing. Alright, thank you! That helps a lot~ I keep running into that problem.

[Meg_752]

Hey everyone! I've reviewed some descriptions in the past, but have just started doing more. I'd love to help clear the queue. I'm signing off as -7M.

[Sundew]

I've got a new system: Using Custom Sort, I can't move grown dragons to their proper places until I've written a description for them. It's pretty infuriating, but I've also been getting a lot more descriptions done--and, in turn, have been reviewing a lot more.

 

On that note, I completed my first description that's exactly 1000 characters long! It's also the first description I've written that avoids naming the dragon entirely (because his name is, frankly, ridiculous, and also takes up way too many characters).

Now I'm off to write one without using the letter E.

[Totally_not_a_Thalmor_spy]

Hey there! I've recently joined DC and decided to join the forum today. So, while looking through the various topics, I just so happened to stumble across this one. I figured it wouldn't hurt to introduce myself here. c:

 

I've written a couple of descriptions for my dragons so far, and I've also reviewed a few. By no means do I consider my English to be perfect (it is only my second language, after all), but I naturally correct any mistakes I do notice... Or I just praise the writer for their wonderful description, haha~

 

Lately, I've started signing my reviews with either -TNATS, or -ThalmorSpy. It depends on whether I'm using my mobile to type (-TNATS), or if I'm using my laptop/computer (-ThalmorSpy).

[love_HP]

Coming up to see see before the finals

Totally_not_a_Thalmor_spy, there are other non native English speakers here, including Shelybear and me.

 

[Dimar]

I'm signing off as -7M.

Lately, I've started signing my reviews with either -TNATS, or -ThalmorSpy. It depends on whether I'm using my mobile to type (-TNATS), or if I'm using my laptop/computer (-ThalmorSpy).

Both added.

[Cireth]

A description for the Dragon at the top of my scroll:

 

"Berior is a Wild Dragon who guards the territory where Cireth's pack resides. She is not pleased that the humans have mistaken her for one of Cireth's dragons. She doesn't interact with Cireth's dragons most of the time, preferring to patrol her territory, and as a result has gained a reputation among them of being mysterious and wise. When there are serious disputes she acts as Arbitrator for the dragons involved and they treat her word as law.

Most of the time Berior takes this responsibility very seriously but on occasion she uses it to play pranks. Once she told Cireth's dragons that Monday is "Steal a human's pants and wear them on your head day." Although Cireth's Dragons found this a very strange thing to do they dutifully each stole a pair of pants from the surrounding villages and now wear them on their heads every Monday while up in her cave Berior laughs until her wings ache."

 

What do you lot think? Please bear in mind that I am British when looking at spellings.

Edited December 16, 2014 by Cireth

[Dirtytabs]

Test your grammatical knowledge!  (Comes in handy when writing and reviewing descriptions.   )

http://www.playbuzz.com/shira10/do-you-kno...-english-tenses (16/16 for me...)

16/16. That uncapitalized "grandma" bugs me, though!

 

 

What do you lot think? Please bear in mind that I am British when looking at spellings.

British, huh? So the pants they are wearing are the humans' tighty whities/boxers, not their trousers, then? I hope they've been washed first.

 

Now, commenting as I would on the description page:

"disputes, she"; "involved, and they"; "seriously, but on occasion, she"; "head day"." <- if I may bother you to put the period outside the quotation marks; "Monday, while"; "her cave, Berior"

It's mostly a bunch of commas - most of them can be disputed since the sentences pause a lot with them in there.

Edited December 17, 2014 by dirtytabs

[Cireth]

Yes they are wearing underwear! It is clean though. I imagine my Dragon's being too scared to go inside a human's house and robbing washing lines.

 

Okay having done the commas it now reads:

 

"Berior is a Wild Dragon who guards the territory where Cireth's pack resides. She is not pleased that the humans have mistaken her for one of Cireth's dragons. She doesn't interact with Cireth's dragons most of the time, preferring to patrol her territory, and as a result has gained a reputation among them of being mysterious and wise. When there are serious disputes, she acts as Arbitrator for the dragons involved, and they treat her word as law.

Most of the time Berior takes this responsibility very seriously, but on occasion, she uses it to play pranks. Once she told Cireth's dragons that Monday is "Steal a human's pants and wear them on your head day". Although Cireth's Dragons found this a very strange thing to do they dutifully each stole a pair of pants from the surrounding villages and now wear them on their heads every Monday, while; up in her cave, Berior laughs until her wings ache."

 

Much better. The last sentence was giving me a headache. Now it's fixed.

Edited December 18, 2014 by Cireth

[Noivern]

Hi there! Mind if a newbie jumps on board? I haven't gotten around to describing my own dragons yet, but I love what other people do with theirs and would love to help out! (Just one more adult and then I'm all set....) English is my first and only language, and I'd like to think I'm pretty good at it. C:

 

Cireth, I love Berior's description! The only thing I want to point out is the last sentence. It's long, the semicolon is unnecessary, and "they found this a strange thing to do" can be shortened. Typically you want to avoid words like stuff and thing since they're vague and often unneeded. (Don't quote me on that, though; I'm guilty of overusing both.)

Try splitting it into two sentences, one covering the original event and the other noting that Steal A Human's Pants continues every Monday. For example, "Although Cireth's Dragons found this strange, they each stole a pair of pants from the surrounding villages. This has occurred every Monday since, and Berior, watching from her cave above, laughs until her wings ache." (I think that exact wording would go over the character limit. Mess around with it!)

Berior sounds like a fun character! Serious personalities with a hidden prankster/fun streak are my weakness, haha.

[Cireth]

Thanks Noivern.

 

How's this? (It fits. Just about.)

 

"Although Cireth's Dragons found this strange, they each stole a pair of pants from the surrounding villages. This now occurs every Monday since Berior's edict; getting more risky each week as villagers begin to guard their washing lines. Meanwhile Berior, watching from her cave above, laughs until her wings ache."

Edited December 19, 2014 by Cireth

[Noivern]

That's great! I think the semicolon could be replaced with a comma, but other than that, you're good! C:

[herobrine745]

Whenever I review stuff, I sign it with a -h, so if you want to add it to the list or something so that people don't confuse it with herk that might be good.

[Lagie]

Food for thought!

[Noivern]

Ah man, finally unlocked the ability to review descriptions, and it's been super fun! I should probably start describing my own dragons some time soon, huh....

 

Is it just me or is the Comment box's character limit small? Not enough to be complaint-worthy and I am prone to rambling, although I keep having to make a tl;dr version of my comments before submitting my vote, haha.

Also, about pronouns--I know it's frowned upon to use he/his for females and she/hers for males, but how about "neutral" pronouns like they/theirs or xe/xir? (I haven't come across this in anyone else's descriptions, mind you. It's something I was thinking for using in my own dragons' descriptions.)

Edited December 20, 2014 by Noivern

[Herk]

Ah man, finally unlocked the ability to review descriptions, and it's been super fun! I should probably start describing my own dragons some time soon, huh....

 

Is it just me or is the Comment box's character limit small? Not enough to be complaint-worthy and I am prone to rambling, although I keep having to make a tl;dr version of my comments before submitting my vote, haha.

That's what we all do

 

It used to be much smaller; nowadays you can make do with some reductions like "then->than" instead of ""then" should be "than" as it is a comparison" most of the time

 

Edit: Neutral pronouns are fine. "He" for a "female" is OK if it's stated/made clear that the dragon is trans so identifies as male even if the biological gender is female.

Edited December 20, 2014 by herk