Posted January 17, 2014 Well, it's about using common sense. And I've been around the forum for a while and consider you to be someone honourable. So as far as I was concerned it was all above-board and proper. And yes, regrettably it's not a problem just on this site. Winners of RL lotteries definitely discover they have more "friends" than they ever knew they had... (And while private cars don't charge a fair, it's only polite to offer to pay for the fuel if it's a long journey...) Oooo, thank you. PM me about it? Thank you! You're really kind! Also, you've got PM :3 Share this post Link to post
Posted January 17, 2014 I'll confess myself a bit dismayed over the whole "I've sent you a gift, now you owe me." thing. I've sent gifts to some of the winners. If I send a gift that says it's a gift, it's stringless. I do know that isn't everyone's perspective on gifts. It's a sad commentary on human nature that so many think that having given a gift they are now owed something in return. It really should be common understanding that GIFT = Free with No Strings. If there are strings, then it isn't a gift, it's a payment. I guess the safest thing for new prize owners who are also new to the site is to refuse gifts, even when they are sincerely meant. That's sad too though, but unless one has been around for awhile one has no way of knowing if the person sending a "gift" has strings attached. I would hate to think a gift I sent was misunderstood. Share this post Link to post
Posted January 17, 2014 I'll confess myself a bit dismayed over the whole "I've sent you a gift, now you owe me." thing. I've sent gifts to some of the winners. If I send a gift that says it's a gift, it's stringless. I do know that isn't everyone's perspective on gifts. It's a sad commentary on human nature that so many think that having given a gift they are now owed something in return. It really should be common understanding that GIFT = Free with No Strings. If there are strings, then it isn't a gift, it's a payment. I guess the safest thing for new prize owners who are also new to the site is to refuse gifts, even when they are sincerely meant. That's sad too though, but unless one has been around for awhile one has no way of knowing if the person sending a "gift" has strings attached. I would hate to think a gift I sent was misunderstood. All of this. Thing is, I really like to gift too. And similarly, if I say something is a gift then I DON'T expect anything in return (other than perhaps a word of thanks ). I like that I can breed and/or catch things that will make other people happy, whether they're people I've had encounters with previously or not. Sometimes it's a friend that I notice is looking for a particular lineage, sometimes it's a complete stranger but I can help them out. Share this post Link to post
Posted January 17, 2014 I feel sad and shocked about the experiences AAmaranthine shared with us. Thank you for being so clear! I think it should help Prize owners to "defend" themself. Nevertheless, Aamaranthine, I feel truly sorry for what you had to go through and I am glad that you didn´t quit. *hugs* Share this post Link to post
Posted January 18, 2014 I often want to PM winners to give them a more personal congrats than my posts in news threads, but I never have because I know they are already dealing with hoards of PMs and I don't want to pile on that. I also know it could come across as trying to butter them up if they aren't one of the users I've grown close to and PM with often on here. And since we've heard Aamaranthine's heartbreaking story, I just want to personally say in here: you do not owe anyone a reply. Is it polite to respond to users and communicate with them, especially on trades where they may have PM'd you to talk about a trade? Sure. But if someone is harassing you, you absolutely do not have to contact them back, especially if it is going to wear on your mental health. Forward the PM/s to a mod and then block them. My Controls (or your inbox) -> PM Buddies/Block List under Messenger. Share this post Link to post
Posted January 18, 2014 (edited) I do admit that I bred an egg for one of the winners, but it wasn't for any sort of guarantee. I saw they hoarded horses, I just happened to have a really pretty 5th gen horse/thunder/sunset Thuwed lineage. I've given that lineage to others before. Actually, I think Z has one whose code had 'joy' in it. It was just a gift. I see another prize winner stating interest in something I have the ability to breed so when the time comes, I'll add that into whatever trades they want. Or if I end up on their list, as a thank you gift afterwards. I mean, just because you get on the list doesn't mean that person is obligated to give you something. They're perfectly capable of taking people off their list if they're rude or pushy. Being polite goes a very long way on a place like this. Edited January 18, 2014 by zaverxi Share this post Link to post
Posted January 18, 2014 I mean, just because you get on the list doesn't mean that person is obligated to give you something. They're perfectly capable of taking people off their list if they're rude or pushy. Being polite goes a very long way on a place like this. I have had to do this with people (fortunately quite rarely) to get them to stop being very pushy with me. It's amazing how people suddenly politen up when you say, "Fine, have your <whatever> back, I'm not trading with you any more." Share this post Link to post
Posted January 18, 2014 I'll hold my hand up as well for contacting the winners, but only to congratulate them and wish them a lot of fun with their prize. And of course, since this thread exist, tell them about this thread I can imagine you'd have to remove people from a list if they're being rude or pushy. Being polite is the normal thing to do and if you get these kind of reactions, you're absolutely right in removing them from your list! Share this post Link to post
Posted January 18, 2014 (edited) I mostly like to send PM's just to thank & congratulate people myself I got my 2nd gen bronze shimmie as a gift which feels like having 1% chance of that ever even happening without asking I sometimes breed 5th gen shimmies to AP (and some higher ones) and of course people catch them, I can imagine what kind madness would be if a CB prize winner would decide to ONLY breed and drop them to (the reaction would be more of like this I imagine ) just switch Simba with the prize offspring Edited January 18, 2014 by Hisa Share this post Link to post
Posted January 18, 2014 i found out i have had a email but it does not count it was in my spam folder oh well i guess im off to watch railcam now to cure my depression Share this post Link to post
Posted January 18, 2014 i found out i have had a email but it does not count it was in my spam folder oh well i guess im off to watch railcam now to cure my depression You should have a few hours left? Mail tj if it was not possible on the link. (note: link only eorks when logged in) Share this post Link to post
Posted January 18, 2014 i found out i have had a email but it does not count it was in my spam folder oh well i guess im off to watch railcam now to cure my depression Run Forest, run. i seriously hope that it's not too late. Share this post Link to post
Posted January 18, 2014 i found out i have had a email but it does not count it was in my spam folder oh well i guess im off to watch railcam now to cure my depression Did you try the link in TJ's news post? http://dragcave.net/holidays13-raffle It'll tell you instantly if you're in or not. And I'm pretty sure the deadline isn't until next weekend, so there's plenty of time yet. Share this post Link to post
Posted January 27, 2014 I wonder if that person ever checked or if there's one more that needs to be redrawn... I hope for their sake they didn't miss out! Speaking of which, if there is a redraw it'll be in the next day or two, right? Last year it was within 2 days of the 'respond to email by' date. Share this post Link to post
Posted January 27, 2014 I PM'd them with that linkie in hopes it would prompt them to come back if they set up prompts to inbox - they never read the PM Hopefully they didn't miss out... I would have thought so - unless everyone has responded this year by chance and no redraws required? Share this post Link to post
Posted January 27, 2014 I PM'd them with that linkie in hopes it would prompt them to come back if they set up prompts to inbox - they never read the PM Hopefully they didn't miss out... I would have thought so - unless everyone has responded this year by chance and no redraws required? I sent them the link immediately and they did read it, so... and the odds of all 150 people responding is pretty low. I mean, 2011 raffle there were 30 winners and 8 didn't respond. I think those 8 were only prize winners that didn't respond, not HMs. There wasn't a mention last year of how many didn't respond, but there were some. Share this post Link to post
Posted January 27, 2014 (edited) I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. So far, all of the PMs I've received have been pleasant. Most of them have been congratulatory, but the ones who did ask about a list or trading were not pushy at all. When I answered with a very polite "not taking trades at the moment" (short version of what I said) they all responded with either "okay thanks for responding" or "okay sorry to have bothered you" or things along that line. I have yet to receive any rude or obnoxious PMs and I truly hope it stays that way. I'm not naive enough to think that I'll never get such type of PMs, but I do believe that being polite but firm in one's responses is a good route to take. Then again, I've heard that those who won Shimmers are having a bit harder time than those who have won Tinsels. *ETA* As far as the gifting thing goes, I agree with a lot of what has already been said. If you feel that someone is trying to bribe you then air on the side of caution. A polite refusal of the gift is more than enough. Aside from that, you can always PM the person and make absolutely certain that it is indeed a gift and not some sort of hidden agenda. Most people will be honest and adhere to explicit agreements like that. Edited January 27, 2014 by sheppardkid Share this post Link to post
Posted January 27, 2014 Thank goodness they read yours, perhaps we all pm'd at once Glad to hear that sheppardkid Keep it up and hope have fun naming your newbie hopefully soon to be here! Share this post Link to post
Posted January 27, 2014 (edited) You know, it's actually not even always separate people that'll try to pressure you. Sometimes it can be an entire group of people. It's quite amazing how quickly people will abandon reason and indeed even the rules themselves when there's a 2nd gen Prize involved. It's pretty easy for me to tell when somebody is trying way too hard to get on my good side. Being way too eager to help with menial tasks is one of those. But yeah, most people do back off when you tell them "no" the first time. Most. Edited January 27, 2014 by Commander Wymsy Share this post Link to post
Posted January 27, 2014 I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. So far, all of the PMs I've received have been pleasant. Most of them have been congratulatory, but the ones who did ask about a list or trading were not pushy at all. When I answered with a very polite "not taking trades at the moment" (short version of what I said) they all responded with either "okay thanks for responding" or "okay sorry to have bothered you" or things along that line. I have yet to receive any rude or obnoxious PMs and I truly hope it stays that way. I'm not naive enough to think that I'll never get such type of PMs, but I do believe that being polite but firm in one's responses is a good route to take. Then again, I've heard that those who won Shimmers are having a bit harder time than those who have won Tinsels. *ETA* As far as the gifting thing goes, I agree with a lot of what has already been said. If you feel that someone is trying to bribe you then air on the side of caution. A polite refusal of the gift is more than enough. Aside from that, you can always PM the person and make absolutely certain that it is indeed a gift and not some sort of hidden agenda. Most people will be honest and adhere to explicit agreements like that. Glad to hear it's going well for you. I agree that it's a good idea to politely clarify the nature of a gift if unsure. I definitely did this a few times (and declined a few, too). Share this post Link to post
Posted January 27, 2014 I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. So far, all of the PMs I've received have been pleasant. Most of them have been congratulatory, but the ones who did ask about a list or trading were not pushy at all. When I answered with a very polite "not taking trades at the moment" (short version of what I said) they all responded with either "okay thanks for responding" or "okay sorry to have bothered you" or things along that line. I have yet to receive any rude or obnoxious PMs and I truly hope it stays that way. I'm not naive enough to think that I'll never get such type of PMs, but I do believe that being polite but firm in one's responses is a good route to take. Then again, I've heard that those who won Shimmers are having a bit harder time than those who have won Tinsels. *ETA* As far as the gifting thing goes, I agree with a lot of what has already been said. If you feel that someone is trying to bribe you then air on the side of caution. A polite refusal of the gift is more than enough. Aside from that, you can always PM the person and make absolutely certain that it is indeed a gift and not some sort of hidden agenda. Most people will be honest and adhere to explicit agreements like that. I think that in your case helped that you have some info in profile. As far as I've seen, most PMs are sent to those who don't have any info or directions. Share this post Link to post
Posted January 27, 2014 (edited) I think that in your case helped that you have some info in profile. As far as I've seen, most PMs are sent to those who don't have any info or directions. Very much true. When I caught Luckiest Catch last year, I honestly had no clue initially how I was going to deal with owning a CB Prize, and I also had a lot going on IRL. It took me a good few days to get my head around it and because I hadn't apparently made any firm decision, I was deluged with people trying to convince me that my best plan would be to trade with or gift to them. ETA: I wish TJ would hurry up and do the re-draw so that I can get this year's disappointment out of the way and move on to other things! Edited January 27, 2014 by Amazon_warrior Share this post Link to post
Posted January 28, 2014 No kidding. I wants my behbeh. Thank you again for making a map for the rest of us! Share this post Link to post
Posted January 28, 2014 I wish they'd do the redraw too, it's my only hope to get a HM haha. Unless somehow more than 30 people who won prizes didn't respond or opted to get an HM instead, in which case an extremely slim hope I'd win a prize instead. Yeah, right. Share this post Link to post
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