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Ah, alright then. It seemed like you were implying something else. Apologies happy.gif

My phrasing wasn't great, it was a little early in the morning for me. laugh.gif

 

I do believe the existing cultural emphasis on breasts in sexuality is a driving force behind much of - if not most of - the resistance to public breastfeeding. A lot of people's expressed aversion to breastfeeding does seem to be related to an inability or unwillingness to view breasts in a non-sexual way. It's easy to play into that when you're discussing the issue, but it's often not a productive angle. My phrasing did make it easy to infer that I perhaps considered breastfeeding aversion to be solely an issue caused by sexual taboos, which I am aware it is not, so my apologies as well.

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I do believe the existing cultural emphasis on breasts in sexuality is a driving force behind much of - if not most of - the resistance to public breastfeeding. A lot of people's expressed aversion to breastfeeding does seem to be related to an inability or unwillingness to view breasts in a non-sexual way. It's easy to play into that when you're discussing the issue, but it's often not a productive angle. My phrasing did make it easy to infer that I perhaps considered breastfeeding aversion to be solely an issue caused by sexual taboos, which I am aware it is not, so my apologies as well.

I rather agree with you actually - I think that is a big part of it. Breasts are not "supposed" to be used for the purpose nature intended. And when they ARE used that way, people who are now accustomed to seeing them as something primarily to do with SEX feel like they are being forced to watch sexual activity. Not solely that - but I do think it is a big part of it. Surprisingly many men (NO, NOWHERE NEAR ALL !) don't like their wives to breastfeed for similar reasons.

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I would have to concur. I just know that (surprisingly, actually) that's not it for me, and the wording kind of made it seem like that was the only reason. Which upset me. Simple misunderstanding, it's all good happy.gif

 

And I think part of why we think like that is because people have a tendency to not think of sex as being used for baby making (I still haven't decided if it's bad or good or whatever, and this isn't the place to speak of it anyway), so they also won't see sexualized things as being used for their naturally intended purposes. It's just gonna happen, and, unfortunately, I doubt it will change any time soon

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I personally don't like babies that much, I mean, they scream and cry and they make messes--I can't stand it even though I know we were all like that once. I don't really plan on getting any kids in the future either, because why should I?

 

*whispers* and the world has, what, 7 billion individuals more or less already?

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I was more-or-less indifferent towards babies until I had one. Then all of a sudden, almost ALL babies were adorable... I believe it might partially be hormones. wink.gif

 

When I was in my mid twenties I started hearing "So when are you and [ex] going to have babies?" At the time I wasn't sure I was ready for kids. I had looked after my brother's kids and hated how much they cut into my free time and how demanding looking after the baby had been, so I told everyone I wasn't going to have any. Plus I wasn't sure I had a future with the man I was with at the time (turns out I was right).

 

When I got together with my husband a few years after that relationship ended, things just all sort of clicked really quickly. I knew what I wanted by the time we decided to get together- I wanted to get married and start a family. It turned out he was in the same place I was in terms of life plans, so things progressed really quickly (we'd known each other for years previous to our getting together; it was pretty much just sorting out whether or not we could live together at that point) and we got married. We have an 8 month old now and yes, she is demanding. But I find I have a lot more patience now than I did when I was younger- it's coming in really handy. tongue.gif

 

Kids in public- the long and short of it is that kids need to learn how to behave in public. Movie theatres are different, and it irritates me when I see people bringing babies or young children to movies meant for an older audience.

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Hey, I don't know if someone has pointed this out. but, the reason babies are "selfish" is because they don't know any better. They need to learn this stuff. They are curious and take a thing to try to figure out what it is. It might look like a fun toy or they are trying to find out if it's edible, lol laugh.gif

Btw, babies are cute and I admit it, a little boring, but I like them. The thing is here that they don't know any better than to not take something. You need to teach them. They can't be selfish if they don't know what it is.

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Hey, I don't know if someone has pointed this out. but, the reason babies are "selfish" is because they don't know any better. They need to learn this stuff. They are curious and take a thing to try to figure out what it is. It might look like a fun toy or they are trying to find out if it's edible, lol laugh.gif

Btw, babies are cute and I admit it, a little boring, but I like them. The thing is here that they don't know any better than to not take something. You need to teach them. They can't be selfish if they don't know what it is.

I think the thought is less that babies just grab things and more that all that babies are capable of doing is taking and they don't give anything back. It's because they can't, really, but.

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Movie theatres are different, and it irritates me when I see people bringing babies or young children to movies meant for an older audience.

Like when I went to see Catching Fire and there was either a baby or young toddler there. They cried twice, and the parents stayed on the theatre with the baby :/ Ruined some scenes.

 

Besides babies in pg+ movies, I love them. They're really cute (until they need a diaper change tongue.gif).

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I doubt that that's all they are capable of. They do think about it. Trust me. They see something that they think is neat, they grab it. You need to teach them not to grab things just like you teach them to talk.

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I doubt that that's all they are capable of. They do think about it. Trust me. They see something that they think is neat, they grab it. You need to teach them not to grab things just like you teach them to talk.

You keep interpreting the word "take" as "grab."

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I'm don't mind babies, toddlers are much better.

No, no they are not. Toddlers are a million times worse. They're as disgusting as babies, but they stop being cute and start running around

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No, no they are not. Toddlers are a million times worse. They're as disgusting as babies, but they stop being cute and start running around

That is a matter of opinion. I think when they start moving around is when they are the cutest, personally.

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To everyone posting this kind of thing - you were a baby once, and then a toddler.

 

Babies aren't inherently disgusting, just as Coke probably isn't either - but I know which I'd rather have - and Coke is NOT it !

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I got better. tongue.gif

xd.png

 

But only because those around you didn't choose to strangle you for being - a baby, something you can't actually choose not to be ! - but loved you instead xd.png

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Well... right away I say that I dislike babies... and toddlers. My niece, on the other hand, is the very sole exception to this. She is adorable... as long as I don't have to babysit her.

 

I mostly live quietly and in peace, since spending too much time in loud environment can cause me headache... and on worst cases, migraine. So having a kid screaming in public is highly disturbing on my case, especially if parents aren't even trying to do something about it. During the last 10 years, I've seen only one mother, who actually handled the situation of screaming kid like a pro. It happened in one store, and the kid began to play with something. Of course it was a no-no, and then finally she decided that it's time to go. Warnings were given, and then she just went. The kid very soon followed behind when realizing that she was serious. Kudos to that mom, I say. I wish there were more mothers like her out there. And she was quite young-looking mother on top of it.

 

Either way, I can never see myself with a child of my own. I simply don't have the desire to have one.

However, like on most cases (probably), my mom has to get her last word on the matter. "You'll see that something wakes in you when you hold that small helpless baby in your arms..." ...no. It's been proven. During the christening/baptizing celebration, I was made to hold my niece in my arms. Because, of course, one absolutely has to have photo taken with the baby in your arms as memento or something... but I didn't enjoy the moment, because I was frozen with fear and felt really uncomfortable. So yeah, a nervous smile to camera... um... yay?

 

I guess everyone knows how godparents are assigned for babies at times if the parents desire it. Well, the first time I saw my niece, I felt rather neutral about it. After all, it is one event in nature that there comes a baby. It's not exactly anything special in my opinion, since it happens all the time around the world. Now you may be wondering what this has to do with the godparents thing?

My brother thought about asking me to be one. No discussion, no hinting, just everyone assuming I'd be happy about it and accepting right away.

Um, no. In fact, it was rather insulting that no one mentioned or asked my opinion about it. Especially when I'm planning to become atheist.

 

Now I was neutral about the entire thing. And I avoided getting asked about the godparent thing, because I just went to see her, shrugged and went back into my room with headache of mine. All this time, neutral expression.

 

And for some reason, brother and his girlfriend decided to leave, since they were offended. And of course mom had to come and yell at me, asking if I hated kids, and went on and on about "you were a baby too at one point" and "didn't you think that you were baby too. It's like you say you hate yourself", and it went on and on. Also she said that being asked as godparent is a huge honor and that she has never been asked to be one, making it into a huge deal. I admitted that I dislike kids, but don't hate. Then next there was "men are going to leave you when they find out you don't like children, it happened to me once when I said this and this to one ex of mine", since she thinks all men want their own kids, exceptions being druggers, alcoholists, prisoners and such...

Then there was "it showed in your face that you were disgusted about the baby" excuse. At that point, I really threw away all hope of my own mom knowing me at all, especially when she has stared at the same face for 24 years and still doesn't know my neutral expression.

The most hurting thing in that conversation?

"If you don't fix your attitude, you'll be thrown out. So it's either you or her."

Way to tell you that you are not allowed to have your own personal opinions by your own mother, who basically taught you to be open-minded about people.

 

That situation only gave me more reason to dislike children and strengthened my stand of not getting any kid of my own.

I don't care if I don't get married because me and that man didn't have same desire about kids.

Also, I'm sorry if my opinions are rather strong, but that is how it is. No one shouldn't be forced or even intimidated to be thrown out of your own home, or to "fix your attitude" because of a baby.

 

 

...feeling now more relieved actually to get all that out of my chest.

Edited by Moonlightelf

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Especially when I'm planning to become atheist.

 

Just curious for a sec here - sorry to be off topic, but how can anyone PLAN to become an atheist ? unsure.gif

 

Do you sort of say OK - next Wednesday I will lose my belief in god ? (don't get me wrong; I don't believe in god and have no agenda here, but that fascinated me...)

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Just curious for a sec here - sorry to be off topic, but how can anyone PLAN to become an atheist ? unsure.gif

 

Do you sort of say OK - next Wednesday I will lose my belief in god ? (don't get me wrong; I don't believe in god and have no agenda here, but that fascinated me...)

I haven't had belief in god for a really good while. In fact, I haven't even visited church unless I've been dragged there by my parents.

 

However, in church books, I'm Evangelical Lutheran. I'm seriously considering getting rid of that and become Atheist.

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xd.png

 

But only because those around you didn't choose to strangle you for being - a baby, something you can't actually choose not to be ! - but loved you instead xd.png

I would not mind one bit if they had done that. It's not like I was competent enough to defend myself. And if they had I wouldn't have to deal with existing now (Well, other people existing now. But since I would barely have existed the reverse is more contextual)

 

Babies are ugly disgusting demons and I really hate that anyone has to be one. I would not mind one bit if the human race died off due to not reproducing (for several reasons actually...)

 

Just because babies can't help but be babies doesn't mean I can't hate them (I can't help but be myself, I still hate her anyway. though that's really an entirely different topic)

 

Anywhales, that's not why I'm here. You people can like babies if you want, I'll still wish I could burn them all (I have a feeling this will get a lot of backlash. Feel free to allow it to effect your opinion of me, but I'd prefer if people not comment on it unsure.gif )

 

I was talking to my mom earlier, and I finally understand what people mean by people trying to force you into having children. She's always said stuff like "don't you want to get married and have kids?", but I always assumed that was because I'd always given her reason to think that was so until recently (where my response has been silence). Well we were talking, and she asked if I wanted to have kids. and I outright told her no. After a little talk about how wonderful babies are, she finally reached this point where she said that I used to (which I did, when I was like five and she was still nursing my little sister), and gave me this knowing look like she expected me to change my mind. After a little bit more chat she ended up saying that all women wanted children and that anyone who said otherwise was lying (Oh how I wanted to strangle her) She's the most sexist person I know, and yet, I'm still kind of shocked that she would say that (She's also set on figuring out who I have a crush on, luckily, I blush whether I have a crush or not ^^'/ )

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The thought of people actually wanting to kill helpless, defenseless babies that do not know how to act like you'd "wish" them to is a very sickening and distasteful one.

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I got better. tongue.gif

You are saying that being a baby is like being sick. Baby are not sick, you can dislike them all you want, but babies are babies, and you can never dismiss the fact that you were one once.

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Guys, there's no need to argue. Everyone has their own opinion. Some people like babies, others don't. Just deal with it.

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No offense, but you are saying that you would rather not exist then ever be a baby, imagine the feelings of other people not yourself. That's a pretty selfish thought. sad.gif

 

I understand why you don't like babies. They're stinky, messy, and boring. But they can't help it. They need to learn not to be stinky, messy and boring. Well, some people stay boring for their entire lives but that's not the point! Btw, if someone did kill you for being a baby, your parent would be sad, your family would be sad, I would be sad cause, you know, someone killed something that couldn't even fight back.

 

If a baby could read and understand this topic, It would be crying right now considering that you want to kill it.

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