Babies

[Fuzzbucket]

compare that to white tank tops without bra in the summer. I'm totally with fuzz on this.

I'm OK with the tanktops, actually.... It's the horribly sweaty topless guys who sat down in that chair before you did (and often SMELL....) - not to mention that buttcrack, often on the same seat...

 

 

BTW as someone has already said - it is a bit trickier if you have twins and need to feed both at once !

[whitebaron]

yeah, but twins are far and between -5% or something like that.

[Daypaw]

I'm not fond of kids. I'm introverted to begin with, I get -really- worn down trying to interact with children. When my sister came to visit with her 11 year old, I ended up having to lock myself into my room just to get a break. My brother just had a beautiful little girl, but I'm really hoping that I never have to babysit her by myself > m> I love her and all, I just don't know squat about babies and I'm sure I would probably do something very wrong.

 

I don't want any of my own. Being asexual, that'll be easy to accomplish since I'm not doing anything to put myself at any sort of risk of getting pregnant. I'd love to find a platonic spouse someday, but no kids. Not ever.

[Syaoransbear]

My sister in law would breast feed at the table when we're having dinner. It annoyed me because it's difficult to look somewhere else when she's right in front of you.

[Fuzzbucket]

My sister in law would breast feed at the table when we're having dinner. It annoyed me because it's difficult to look somewhere else when she's right in front of you.

You don't "have to look somewhere else", you just don't have to look at her. A different way of thinking will probably help here.

[Syaoransbear]

You don't "have to look somewhere else", you just don't have to look at her. A different way of thinking will probably help here.

That's what I mean by somewhere else. When someone sits across from you at a table you have to look somewhere else if you don't want to look at them.

Edited January 10, 2014 by Syaoransbear

[Fuzzbucket]

That's what I mean by somewhere else. When someone sits across from you at a table you have to look somewhere else if you don't want to look at them.

No - you miss my point. You are trying to DO something when you "try to look somewhere else."

 

All you have to do is look at someone else, look at your food, even at her face. Think of what you are looking at, not what you are determined NOT to look at. It's a point of view thing.

[Syaoransbear]

No - you miss my point. You are trying to DO something when you "try to look somewhere else."

 

All you have to do is look at someone else, look at your food, even at her face. Think of what you are looking at, not what you are determined NOT to look at. It's a point of view thing.

I guess I understand. It's just that when someone sits across from you at a table they take up a large portion of your field of vision. You have to really turn your head to remove them from your field of vision. Even if you were looking at your food, you would still see the person in front of you.

[Fuzzbucket]

I guess I understand. It's just that when someone sits across from you at a table they take up a large portion of your field of vision. You have to really turn your head to remove them from your field of vision. Even if you were looking at your food, you would still see the person in front of you.

I do know what you are saying, just that it makes it that much harder when you are consciously trying so hard NOT to do something.

[edwardelricfreak]

I can't believe I've found so many like-minded people here! And here I thought I was the ONLY person in the WORLD who didn't like human babies at all! I have two sons, but that was when I was really young and in love. It doesn't mean I liked them as babies.

I think that's because, through media and girls' toys and such, it's often assumed that all women love babies and/or children. I even KNEW about society's gender roles and their encouragement of specific behaviors and I was still surprised at first from all of the users (majority of them being female) saying they hated babies or didn't like them, etc.

 

I sort of felt like I was one of the only people, too, who didn't like babies and RARELY thought they looked cute.

[gyiyg]

I don't like babies or small children very much, mostly because their hands and also pretty much everywhere else are always really gross and when I recoil from one of them touching me and immediately go sanitize myself or try to get away when one of them is coughing near or all over me people get all offended and "THEY DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER" at me and like

Yes I know they don't know any better but that doesn't mean they're not gross and it doesn't mean I'm not going to get sick or have a germ phobia-related panic attack from being around them and I don't really see how yelling that at me fixes anything :L

Edited January 10, 2014 by Pika_Oi

[whitebaron]

My sister in law would breast feed at the table when we're having dinner. It annoyed me because it's difficult to look somewhere else when she's right in front of you.

Did you bother to tell her that it annoys you and why?

[Syaoransbear]

Did you bother to tell her that it annoys you and why?

No, I'm not a jerk. It's my own problem if public breast feeding bothers me and I'm not going to bother any mother because of my issues.

[prpldrgnfr]

No, I'm not a jerk. It's my own problem if public breast feeding bothers me and I'm not going to bother any mother because of my issues.

I just wanted to thank you for posting this.

[Brite]

Hate going to restaurants with one near. Not because of the noise (Though that's deff up there) but being grossed out by them. I don't even sit near my 2 year old nephew when I eat and scold my sister when she changes his diaper near me.

 

If someone whips their breasts out in public you can bet people are going to turn and look. Something about nakedness tends to draw the eye, regardless of how you actually feel about it. If you are sitting facing the woman it might be a pretty uncomfortable experience.

 

I use to work at a kid's attraction. On one of the rides, your picture gets taken near the end. We've had to throw away so many because women would be breastfeeding in it and we can't sell them that. Then they get mad at us for it. Edit: I wouldn't call it a "ride" it's smooth and goes at a comfortable speed It's a shooting "ride"

Edited January 11, 2014 by GhostChilli

[MasterWeavile898]

No, I'm not a jerk. It's my own problem if public breast feeding bothers me and I'm not going to bother any mother because of my issues.

I would agree, anywhere but the dinner table. I can be incredibly squeamish, and as much as I'd like to let her be, I'd also like to be able to eat without feeling the need to vomit (IDK why, but the concept of a baby eating whilst I'm eating is exceedingly disgusting to me. It's really silly, but I can't help it) But that's just me; if you can deal with it, then good for you! And like Fuzz said, try not to think about it as avoiding looking at her

[whitebaron]

No, I'm not a jerk. It's my own problem if public breast feeding bothers me and I'm not going to bother any mother because of my issues.

Its your FAMILY, that we are talking about here, not some random stranger. You cant just go away if it bothers you from a family dinner, as this would be as upsetting- so why not talk about it? Maybe she is not even aware of your displeasure, and could easily remedy this. Or at least you both could make sure that you are sitting next to her, not across the table - which would help too.

 

@prpl: if we cant even talk to our FAMILY about issues we have, then this is a very sorry world to be in. its definitely not my way of life to hide my feelings and motivations from my own - I never suggested to shame or blame the feeder (as must be obvious if you have followed my other posts.)

Edited January 11, 2014 by whitebaron

[prpldrgnfr]

Its your FAMILY, that we are talking about here, not some random stranger. You cant just go away if it bothers you from a family dinner, as this would be as upsetting- so why not talk about it? Maybe she is not even aware of your displeasure, and could easily remedy this. Or at least you both could make sure that you are sitting next to her, not across the table - which would help too.

 

@prpl: if we cant even talk to our FAMILY about issues we have, then this is a very sorry world to be in. its definitely not my way of life to hide my feelings and motivations from my own - I never suggested to shame or blame the feeder (as must be obvious if you have followed my other posts.)

I think I've already decided to agree to disagree with you on some stuff

 

I thanked her for posting that because I wish more people had the wake up call she did, ie her problem not the mom's, esp. if the mom is a stranger out in some random public place.

 

Depending on her family dynamics, it *may* be a good idea for her to talk to her SIL about her discomfort, and maybe arrive at a solution similar to what you suggested-sitting next to instead of across or something.

Edited January 11, 2014 by prpldrgnfr

[MasterWeavile898]

Yeah, I can think of at least one family where asking that would just cause a big argument. However, not asking because you don't want to be rude is disproportionate to the situation. On such a personal level, it wouldn't be rude to ask someone you know relatively well to respect that you are being made uncomfortable and nurse at another point in time or a seperate place

 

At the same time, if such a request would cause a large argument, it would definitely not be the most prudent course of action. And even if it wouldn't, sometimes just not causing an awkward moment is best (I personally would ask them to not nurse while I'm eating pretty much no matter what)

 

@Ghostchili

Ugh, a 2-year-old? I don't even want to think about it... *Finds herself thinking about it anywhales*

[Syaoransbear]

Its your FAMILY, that we are talking about here, not some random stranger. You cant just go away if it bothers you from a family dinner, as this would be as upsetting- so why not talk about it? Maybe she is not even aware of your displeasure, and could easily remedy this. Or at least you both could make sure that you are sitting next to her, not across the table - which would help too.

 

@prpl: if we cant even talk to our FAMILY about issues we have, then this is a very sorry world to be in. its definitely not my way of life to hide my feelings and motivations from my own - I never suggested to shame or blame the feeder (as must be obvious if you have followed my other posts.)

At the time I was just a girlfriend, so they weren't anything to me. It probably wouldn't have made a good impression to walk into my boyfriend's parents' house and start ordering their children around.

 

I don't consider my inlaws to be family. They are my husband's family but not mine. The moment we divorce or he dies or something they would be completely gone from my life.

 

Also, this would be the type of family where if I suggested that she breastfeed somewhere else I'm pretty sure the table would explode in outrage and I would likely be asked to leave. I mean, my BIL makes out with his girlfriend at the dinner table which bothers me so, so much more and I know I would get my face chewed off if I said anything about that, even though I'm pretty sure that's legitimately gross and rude and not just my own issues at play.

 

But her kids are 6 and 4(I think) now so the window to talk about it is pretty closed. Not that I ever would, you can't talk to this family about anything. They never confront each other about anything because they all take it so personally so you are always walking on eggshells. I think they were all raised to think they are perfect and everything they do is perfect so whenever someone has any sort of complaint they don't know how to handle it. I consider my husband to be the only emotionally stable one in the family. He does too, which is why he also does not confront his family about anything.

[Fuzzbucket]

No, I'm not a jerk. It's my own problem if public breast feeding bothers me and I'm not going to bother any mother because of my issues.

Kudos to you for that

 

And I do agree about people making out at table being FAR more offensive - there is no possible need for that, where breastfeeding is at least something that needs to be done, even if the location may not be one where you'd want it. Making out should be private, IMHO.

Edited January 11, 2014 by fuzzbucket

[tiktokism]

I've always loved little kids - when I was in preschool/daycare I loved any opportunity I had to "help" with the smaller children, even. I think some people are just hardwired for nurturing and some aren't.

 

Even then, I don't think infants are amazingly fabulous. The only appeal of infants is that you get to watch them learn and grow into little people with personalities. Toddlers are inherently more interesting than infants, and children get progressively less interesting up to the point when they become teenagers and are only interesting to themselves and other teenagers.

 

Re: Kids in public - children can't learn how to behave in public places if they never go to them, and are, in fact, members of the public, with access to all of the same space as you, outside of your front doors.

 

Should parents be courteous and thoughtful about where they take their children? Yes, obviously. People should be courteous and thoughtful in general. Infants and toddlers should not be going to movies designed for adult audiences, unless it is one of the showings that are specifically for the parents of small children (this is a thing that actually exists). Children should be removed from public places if they are behaving inappropriately in a way that is not immediately correctable, bothering others, or to prevent them from reaching a point at which they would.

 

Re: Breastfeeding in public - If you don't want to see it, then don't look. If you have a hard time not looking, then you need to excuse yourself, go somewhere you can't see it, and figure out why exactly you have such a driving need to look at other people's breasts. You absolutely do not have the right to tell a mother that she should let her baby go hungry just because you have a problem.

 

Also, re: why you can't just use a bottle if you're in public -

 

A.) Trying to both breastfeed and bottle-feed can cause something called nipple confusion, because getting milk out of a bottle is different from getting milk out of a breast. Using the wrong technique results in the baby not getting their milk correctly, and that makes for a frustrated, hungry, crying baby, which is something nobody wants to hear in public.

 

B.) Pumping breastmilk is hard, because a pump is different from a baby. It can be very difficult to get a good supply of milk by pumping.

 

C.) Pumped breastmilk has to be refrigerated or frozen. The longest fresh breastmilk can safely be left unrefrigerated before use is 3-4 hours, at which point it needs to be thrown away if has not been used, which would be a huge waste of time and effort, because pumping is hard. Babies generally need to feed every three hours or so. A single pumping session also may not provide enough milk for a single feeding, because, as stated above, pumping is hard.

 

D.) It is generally recommended that breastmilk also be reheated before feeding. There is plenty of discussion over whether or not it needs to be done, and not a lot of scientific information, though it's generally believed that cold milk causes upset tummies. In reality, there's a good chance the baby would refuse cold milk anyway, because it's not what they're used to.

 

And re: why not just use formula in the bottles -

 

A.) Failure to nurse or pump will decrease your supply of breastmilk. Presumably if you think mothers shouldn't be breastfeeding in public, you don't want them pumping in public.

 

B.) Not everybody thinks it's appropriate to feed their children a chemical approximation of food when real food is readily available and scientifically proven to be more nutritious.

[MasterWeavile898]

Re: Breastfeeding in public - If you don't want to see it, then don't look. If you have a hard time not looking, then you need to excuse yourself, go somewhere you can't see it, and figure out why exactly you have such a driving need to look at other people's breasts.  You absolutely do not have the right to tell a mother that she should let her baby go hungry just because you have a problem.

I agree with everything in this paragraph, except the bold

 

As several people have stated, and as you likely already know, breastfeeding isn't very revealing. I would think that the reasoning for having trouble not looking would be because it is an absolutely disgusting exchange of a bodily secretion from the mother into the vile little creature of the baby. People have a tendency to look at things they'd rather not

 

Not to say there aren't people who look for other reasons... You just kind of make it seem like that's everyone

 

EDIT: Also not to say mothers shouldn't breastfeed when needed, as I believe they should. And I really can't see why anyone would have a problem with them doing it where they can see, even if they find the process disgusting. It's entirely possible to go elsewhere, public doesn't mean you have to be there (I would say that at places of eating there should be somewhere mothers can go to breastfeed more privately, so as not to disturb other guests. But other than that I don't mind and would just ignore them)

 

@Syaoransbear

Sorry about your family, and good luck to you

Edited January 11, 2014 by MasterWeavile898

[Katie]

In my opinion, I don't hate babies. I think they're cute but they're hard work and I wouldn't want one right now considering I'm 18. As for breast feeding, it doesn't bother me.

[tiktokism]

As several people have stated, and as you likely already know, breastfeeding isn't very revealing. I would think that the reasoning for having trouble not looking would be because it is an absolutely disgusting exchange of a bodily secretion from the mother into the vile little creature of the baby. People have a tendency to look at things they'd rather not

 

Not to say there aren't people who look for other reasons... You just kind of make it seem like that's everyone

This is exactly what I meant, actually. You understand why you have a problem with the concept of breastfeeding, and why you may find it distracting and difficult to ignore. A lot of people have a hard time articulating why certain things bother them. Knowing and being able to articulate why something makes you uncomfortable is important if you're going to either learn to overcome it, or learn to avoid it more effectively.