Posted January 2, 2015 Q: why did the hipster burn himself on his pizza? A: He ate it before it was cool. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 2, 2015 What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung. The guardians of the galaxy! Share this post Link to post
Posted March 3, 2015 Lemme think of one...OOH! Three men were in a plane. One had an apple, one had a lemon, and one had a grenade. The first man bit into his apple. He said it was too sweet. He threw it out the window. The second man bit into his lemon. He said it was too sour. He threw it out the window. The third man bit into his grenade. He said it was too bitter. He threw it out the window. Then the men were walking and saw a crying girl They asked her what was wrong. She said "An apple hit my Project and now it is ruined!" The men kept walking, and came across another crying girl. They asked her what was wrong. She said, "A lemon fell and hit my dog and killed him!" The men kept walking. They came across a girl laughing her head off. They asked her why she was laughing so hard. She said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up!" Dunno, I thought it was funny when I heard it. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 3, 2015 Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say "Bach bach bach!" Share this post Link to post
Posted March 3, 2015 What did the ear of corn say when its husk fell off? "Aww, shucks!" Share this post Link to post
Posted March 3, 2015 What do you call a cow that has just given birth? De-calf-inated. Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the racoons that it could be done. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) Did you know I could cool you down to -273.15*C and you'd be perfectly OK? Why is ground beef so low energy? Because it's in its ground state. Three guys are in a boat. Each has a cigarette, but not a cigarette lighter between them. What do they do? One throws a cigarette overboard and the entire boat becomes a cigarette lighter. Edited March 3, 2015 by High Lord November Share this post Link to post
Posted March 3, 2015 A drum set and a pair of cymbals fall off a cliff. Ba dum tch! Share this post Link to post
Posted March 3, 2015 What is the Karate experts favorite beverage? Kara-tea. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 9, 2015 Bad jokes love this idea Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken. Why did the turkey cross the road? The duck was on vacation. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 11, 2015 Voldemort: Knock Knock. Harry Potter: Who's There? Voldemort: You Know. Harry Potter: You Know Who? Voldemort: Exactly! Share this post Link to post
Posted March 15, 2015 What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Pick a cod, any cod! Share this post Link to post
Posted March 27, 2015 (edited) A man walked into a bar, and said, "ow." Edited March 27, 2015 by KaelaBoo24 Share this post Link to post
Posted March 28, 2015 Warning! Bad band jokes! What is the difference between a clarinet and a mouse? you can't hear a mouse squeak over an entire band! How do you turn a trombone into a french horn? Stick your hand in the bell and play all the wrong notes! What chord do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft. A flat minor! (that one works better when said aloud...) (Sorry clarinet players and french horn players, I got nothing against you, just these are the only bad jokes i know) Share this post Link to post
Posted April 16, 2015 Q: What does the Doctor eat with spaghetti? A: Dalek bread Share this post Link to post
Posted April 20, 2015 A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres! Share this post Link to post
Posted April 20, 2015 (edited) (I know these are meant to be really corny jokes, but I actually did crack up at some of them on this page and a few pages back. ) Why can't pirates learn the alphabet? They spend years at C. Edited April 20, 2015 by Keekeecat Share this post Link to post
Posted April 21, 2015 What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved. Share this post Link to post
Posted April 23, 2015 (edited) Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? DOO WEE DOOOOOOOOO! (To be honest, I don't even know. x'D) Edited April 23, 2015 by TricksterHeart Share this post Link to post
Posted April 23, 2015 Q: If you have a bee in your hand, what's in your eye? A: Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder! I'll just show myself the door now Share this post Link to post
Posted April 23, 2015 (edited) A zookeeper is ordering new animals. As he fills out the forms, he types “two mongeese.” That doesn’t look right, so he tries “two mongoose,” then “two mongooses.” Giving up, he types, “One mongoose, and while you’re at it, send another one.” I don't even know what the plural is, I'll have to look it up. Edited April 23, 2015 by TricksterHeart Share this post Link to post
Posted April 30, 2015 Person A: "I have a piano, a tuna, and some glue. What's the difference?" Person B: "Dunno" Person A: "You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna" Person B: "How is GLUE related to that?!" Person A: "I knew you'd get stuck there" Share this post Link to post
Posted May 3, 2015 Q: What does a clock do when its hungry?... A: It goes back four sounds!... Share this post Link to post
.gif)
Recommended Posts