Posted February 2, 2014 (two should be too) I think you skipped part of the joke. Doesn't it end with "And then he dies/the second guy dies"? Oh, whoops. I'll edit it. Share this post Link to post
Posted February 2, 2014 hmm bad jokes.... here's a few .... Q: Why did the tomato blush? A: It saw the salad dressing. Q: What do you get if you pour warm water down a rabbit hole? A: A Hot cross Bunny Q: Two cats are on a roof, which one falls off first? A: The one with the smallest mew. Q: Why do circles like math parties? A: There's always enough Pi to go round. ..... ok that last one was really bad...... Share this post Link to post
Posted February 3, 2014 OK, here goes; What's a rubber band pistol in algebra class? A weapon of math disruption. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, idiot! BREATHE! Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents. Share this post Link to post
Posted February 3, 2014 (edited) Q: Whats the difference between bird flu and the swine flu? A: If you have the bird flu you need a tweetment. If you have the swine flu you need oink-ment. Q: What did the fisherman say to the card magician? A: Pick a cod, any cod! Q: What's the internet's favorite animal? A: The Lynx Q: Where do Floridians wash their clothes? A: In Fort Launderdale. Alright so I am done. Enjoy these bad jokes. Edited February 3, 2014 by Silent_Vampire Share this post Link to post
Posted February 3, 2014 How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face (Poke her face! Get it?) Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Exactly. You live in a house with all the walls facing north, east, south, and west. What colors are the bears? Whit. Share this post Link to post
Posted February 3, 2014 What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. What do you call a man who never passes gas in public? A private tutor. Did you hear about the dyslexic devil-worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa. Share this post Link to post
Posted February 5, 2014 Why is it so hard to lock a piano? It has 88 keys! Ba-dum-pah! Share this post Link to post
Posted February 7, 2014 Why did the cookie cry? Because his mom was a wafer so long! What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaaiiiiinnnnsss! (Grains) Share this post Link to post
Posted February 7, 2014 What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaaiiiiinnnnsss! (Grains) To build off that....... What do old Zombies need? CAAAANNNEEESSS (canes) What do Zombie athletes suffer from? STRAAAIIIIINNNSSS (Strains) What are zombies two favorite modes of transportation? PLLAAAANNNEESS (planes) and TRRRAAAAAIIIINNNSSS (trains) What do Zombie Rappers wear? Gold CHAAAAAIIINNNSS (chains) and similar to that one.. WHat does a prison Zombie have rapped around him? CHAAAAAIIINNNSS (chains) more Zombie fun.... What do Zombies call city buses? Meals on wheels How many Zombies does it take screw in a light bulb? Ahhh forget it. They will eat in the dark Two Zombies are sitting down munching on a clown. One turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?" Ok enough Zombie jokes for now..... some other ones..... Did you know if you put tuna on a plate it will not fall off?? Because fishsticks. Two muffins are baking in an over. One turns and says "boy it is hot in here" The other yells "AAAHHHH!! A talking muffin!!!" Share this post Link to post
Posted February 8, 2014 Two crows sitting on a fence post: Attempted Murder. The only real difference between ravens and crows is that crows have five pinion feathers and ravens only have four. So when you get down to it, the differences between ravens and crows are just a matter of...a pinion. (opinion, for those who don't get it) If you can't tell, I like bird jokes. Share this post Link to post
Posted February 18, 2014 One person says: "How do you make a car go?" Other Person: "You want to make cargo? Just collect all your stuff into a suitcase." Share this post Link to post
Posted February 18, 2014 Three men walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them might have seen it. Share this post Link to post
Posted February 18, 2014 (edited) What do Zombies call city buses? Meals on wheels How many Zombies does it take screw in a light bulb? Ahhh forget it. They will eat in the dark I know two similars 1)Q: How a canival calls a man who runs? A:Fast Food. 2)Q: How many phallocrats are needed to change a lamb? A: Noone let the washing the dishes in the dark. Edited February 24, 2014 by SockPuppet Strangler Share this post Link to post
Posted February 19, 2014 A mushroom walked into a birthday party. The birthday boy said," Hey get out it's my birthday!" The mushroom said," Why? I'mma fungi!" Just joking around... Share this post Link to post
Posted February 19, 2014 One person: "How do you make a car go?" Other Person: "You want to make cargo? Just collect all your stuff into a suitcase." A similar joke: How do you top a car? Tep on the brake, tupid! Another joke: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. Share this post Link to post
Posted February 20, 2014 Q= What do you call a mix between a turtle and a porcupine? A= A Slowpoke Q= Knock Knock? Who's there? Broken Pencil. Broken Pencil who? Nevermind, It's pointless... Share this post Link to post
Posted February 21, 2014 (edited) "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Doctor" "Doctor Who?" Edited February 21, 2014 by OutlineOfChalk Share this post Link to post
Posted February 22, 2014 (edited) >Pass by a graveyard "How many people do you think are dead in there?" >Friend starts counting headstones "Hopefully all of them." Once you bring it up again it's like an endlessly terrible run-on joke. It's great. Edited February 22, 2014 by Corgi-osis Share this post Link to post
Posted February 23, 2014 We have mass during Saturdays back in high school. And one day, I was so sleepy (but I was not sleeping), when the priest said: "Brothers and sisters...", I heard: "Barbers and scissors", well, that kept me awake for the rest of the period. Share this post Link to post
Posted February 24, 2014 (edited) This was written in school desk. Three truth; 1.there are idiots in this world. 2.you can't touch your elbow with your tongue. 3.there are always idiot who try #2. Edited February 24, 2014 by sh20000sh Share this post Link to post
Posted February 25, 2014 Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Oh no, it's just the Doctor. Where do one legged waitresses work? Ihop Share this post Link to post
Posted February 26, 2014 (edited) My first name is terra, I want to marry a man with the last name of Dak-tell. Then I will be Mrs. Terra Dak-tell. ( if you don't get it, say it out loud.) Edited February 26, 2014 by tjsweepers Share this post Link to post
Posted February 27, 2014 What do you call a sheep that knows how to dance? A baaaalarina Share this post Link to post
Posted July 25, 2014 (edited) One woman was crying as she dumped. One philosopher saw her and know why she was crying. He said to her; "You lost a man who doesn't even love you and he lost the woman who really love you. Who should be sad in this situation?" Woman look up and see philosopher's face with smile. And philosopher said; "It's still you." Edited July 25, 2014 by sh20000sh Share this post Link to post
Posted July 25, 2014 Knock, knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? No need to cry, it's just a ghost! Share this post Link to post
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