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Bad Jokes

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What's Finnick's favorite game?

 

Truth Odair.

 

 

Hunger Games joke, a character's name is Finnick Odair.

Oh gosh tongue.gif

 

Another Hunger Games one: (SPOILERS). If you want to read it, it's in white text below, just highlight it. It's seriously awful.

 

Where was Prim when the bombs went off?

.....

Everywhere.

 

 

My favourite thing to do is try and fit myself into small suitcases. I can barely contain myself!

 

I was going to tell a science joke, but all the good ones argon.

 

A lab assistant spots a mysterious figure sneaking out of the lab with a container of Element 83 under his arm. "Hey," he says "where do you think you're going?"

The man replies "None of your Bismuth."

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A photon walks into a hotel and asks for a room. The receptionist says, "Of course, and would you like someone to carry your luggage for you?" The photon says, "No, that's okay. I'm traveling light."

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ok... there are a lot.

 

Q: why mathematicians use UHU?

A: Because log0 does not defined.

 

Little Anne to her grandmother

- Grandma I don't like grandpa.

- It's fine. Eat only the potatoes.

 

~No inappropriate jokes please~

 

Q: How many sourealists are needed to change a lamp?

A: Blue

 

Q: How many blondes need to change a lamp?

A: Two. One to change the lamp and the other to keep a look out not to come the electricity.

 

Q: How do we call a blondie who darkens her hair?

A: Camouflage.

Q: And how do we call an auburn girl who dyes her hair blond?

A: Self-awareness.

 

If you want explanations or more jokes post.

Edited by SockPuppet Strangler

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Little Anne to her grandmother

- Grandma I don't like grandpa.

- It's fine. Eat only the potatoes.

 

Q: How many sourealists are needed to change a lamp?

A: Blue

Sorry, but I do not understand these.

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Sorry, but I do not understand these.

Ah. Well, in the first, the little girl says "I don't like grandpa." Usually, we'd take this to mean she did not feel fond of him - but when grandma says "Then eat the potatoes" it's funny because it implies that Grandpa is dinner (so the little girl is complaining about the taste of grandpa, not his personality).

 

Second joke - surrealists were a group of painters who painted really odd pictures - like Dali's famous melting clocks painting. Often the titles were completely unrelated to what the painting represented. So the joke is that the answer is completely irrevelant to the question - it doesn't make any sense.

See the link below for more on surrealism. smile.gif

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surrealism

 

Hope that helps.

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Ah. Well, in the first, the little girl says "I don't like grandpa." Usually, we'd take this to mean she did not feel fond of him - but when grandma says "Then eat the potatoes" it's funny because it implies that Grandpa is dinner (so the little girl is complaining about the taste of grandpa, not his personality).

 

Second joke - surrealists were a group of painters who painted really odd pictures - like Dali's famous melting clocks painting. Often the titles were completely unrelated to what the painting represented. So the joke is that the answer is completely irrevelant to the question - it doesn't make any sense.

See the link below for more on surrealism.  smile.gif

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surrealism

 

Hope that helps.

biggrin.gif Oh, thank you.

 

Alright, now I feel stupid for not understand the surrealist joke. wink.gif I need an alibi. Let's see... It is because surrealists is misspelt. tongue.gif LOL

Edited by georgexu94

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I have a perfect one.

 

Question: What do you get when you cross a zebra with a cheetah and a walrus?

 

Answer (highlight to reveal): who the heck knows

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In a restaurant. A waiter approaches a customer.

 

Waiter: Are you done?

Customer: No, I'm not Don. I'm Juan.

Waiter: No, I mean if you are finish?

Customer: No! I'm Filipino.

Waiter: I mean, are you through?

Customer: Why? Do you think I'm false?

...

 

tongue.gif

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Person: Knock knock

Other Person: Who's there?

Person: I love Doctor.

Other Person: I love Doctor Who.

Person: OK.

 

Lame, I know.

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Person 1: Guess how many pennies I have in my pocket.

Person 2: If I guess it right, will you give me one?

Person 1: If you guess it right, I won't only give you one. I'll give you both!

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Person 1: Guess how many pennies I have in my pocket.

Person 2: If I guess it right, will you give me one?

Person 1: If you guess it right, I won't only give you one. I'll give you both!

Ahaha that's an awful type of genius. xd.png

 

Why did the cookie cry?

Because his mother had been a wafer so long.

 

What's Forrest Gump's computer password?

1forrest1

 

and a Terry Pratchett one:

"Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.”

 

ah, puns laugh.gif

 

Also, I'm proud of you all for these terrible jokes. Keep them rolling in wink.gif

 

 

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Q: What did the digital watch say to the analog clock?

A: Look Ma! No hands.

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Ooh, ooh, jyst watched the Doctor Who episode of "Don't Mind The Buzzcocks" and here is a golden oldie:

 

"Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains."

"Pull yourself together, girl!"

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There are 3 kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.

Reminds me of my old favorite: There are 10 types of people in this world-Those who understand binary and those who do not.

 

 

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Continuing the theme, 5/4 of people do not understand fractions.

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Question: What does the data say to computer?

Answer: Look dad! I can move!

Computer: *Face palms*

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