The Infinite Week

[Lila]

The Infinite Week

 

Work in progress. Kind of my baby.

 

I'm not particularly looking for criticism atm but feel free to leave it here if it's eating you up. This is my first draft so I haven't even gone back on it yet, but I'm trying to get it done before I do any revision. I don't know. I really want to publish it. ANYWAY yea I try to post new chapters everyday so check it out if you wanttttt.

Edited January 2, 2014 by Lila

[Lila]

boop

[Lila]

bump

[Lila]

bump

[Sandface]

I read Chapter 15, and I think this is really good! If I had more time, i'd read more. Though a couple things i've noticed that you do in one spot and not another - (yourself = main character) - when you're talking about yourself, and then you say something, sometimes you go to the next line, and other times you don't, for example:

 

 

I was so exhausted. I just wanted to lay in the snow and drift away.

[tab]"I really need to get home. My mom is probably worried sick about me."

[tab]"Come on John, we can keep going, can't we?" Alissa was so naive.

 

Compared to:

 

I was so exhausted. I just wanted to lay in the snow and drift away. "I really need to get home. My mom is probably worried sick about me."

[tab] "Come on John, we can keep going, can't we?" Alissa was so naive.

 

 

It's been awhile since I've gone over this stuff in any English class, so I'm not sure which version is correct, but that's just something that I noticed in the chapter that I read. Let me know which one is correct, because I'm in the process of writing my own story.

 

And the example I provided was something I just made up in my head. ^ Just so no one thought otherwise.

[edwardelricfreak]

-snip-

I believe you would really only put it on a new line if you identified that the person is the one speaking. Since it's still the actions of that one character, I think it's fine to leave what they say on the same line.

 

Course in the example you provided, it seems like it would make more sense to put it on a new line.

 

Ehhh I'm not really good with dialogue I guess.

[Lythe]

Ah, I think people would respond more if you put a short summary of what you were writing about. I don't have time to read anything long at the moment, but I can see you're putting a lot of effort into it. Keep it up! I will definitly see what it's about when I have time.

[Lila]

Oh my lord people saw all of my bumps o-o

 

I don't know why it didn't occur to me to put a summary. And thanks for that, Sandface. I'll look into it. This was my first draft stuff for NaNoWriMo. I'm not updating it right now, but I will need to revise it at some point. So thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it