Single and child free by choice

[Ripan]

The only time I'll ever gleefully utter the phrase "I'm going to have babies!" is when there's a new release in the Cave.

 

Mostly I just manage to avoid getting involved, but once I couldn't avoid it and I truthfully stated that I don't like kids; that I don't want them and/or a partner. I was met with belittlement and one woman took particular offense, like I had personally spoken ill of her kids.

[Syrup]

I'm an aromantic, and every time I tell someone I am, they always say 'oh, it will change one day!'

 

Alright, it might, but is that really necessary to say? Can't you just accept my decision?

[Kursedfire]

I'm 21 and I've had a few people try and hook me up with mates of theirs but I'm not interested in a relationship. Personally I'd rather hang out with my dog at home.

 

I'm Ace and most people just don't really understand that. Sure I'll say that a guy or girl is pleasing to the eye, but that doesn't mean I want to bang them. My Mother is the only person who kinda knows my sexuality, I've been dropping hints. My good friend and her boyfriend made a game out of it to see who will guess first Think the boyfriend is gonna win ATM.

I've also had two dates in the past with the same guy, but I found out he was a floater just looking for sex. I couldn't give him what he wanted so he left.

 

As well as children go, nah. I've been called selfish and got so much "That'll change when their yours" or "Having children is the best thing that can happen to you" and also "You just haven't found the right person"

I'd love to Foster/Adopt later on, but not when I don't even know what I'm doing with my life. There's soo many things I still want to see and do, kids are just a giant anchor in my plans.

[orrrangeee]

Yes, I've found my people.

 

I'm not willing to give up a job and commit to caretaker duty for the next 18 years of a kid's life. I've got plans...

 

Oh, yes, by the way, thanks mom you're amazing...

[Dauntingale]

In the Asian culture, we're especially expected to have children... but I'm more of a career person. Plus, I'm a bit of a workaholic. I'm not suited for having children lol...

My boyfriend is fine with it though... for the most part.

Edited February 19, 2015 by Dauntingale

[orrrangeee]

In the Asian culture, we're especially expected to have children... but I'm more of a career person. Plus, I'm a bit of a workaholic. I'm not suited for having children lol...

My boyfriend is fine with it though... for the most part.

Exactly. If you arent married according to certain cultures by your late twenties your considered an old girl and of less worth. I think not.

[lightningsky]

I'm so happy to see that many people are like myself here - not wanting kids - because in real life, everyone I know has at least asked me once if I was going to have any of my own...and my answer isn't anything they like to hear. I'm sorry but the only babies I'll be having are my furbabies. I love animals and honestly I rather give them a better life from out of a shelter instead of giving birth to a money-pit and trying to raise it for 18+ years. I'm too selfish for kids. I can say it because it's true.

 

It is the most annoying thing when I tell people I don't plan on having kids and they throw that smart remark "Oh that will change when you're older"...I'm 21, I don't see it changing at all.

 

edit typos~

Edited February 20, 2015 by lightningsky

[KuroYukia]

Oh I've found my people. Hello all

 

I'm not single but engaged in a long distance relationship 4k miles and he's in another country ( alternate lifestyle as well) And yes we've met in person

 

I do not want kids though and as a poster before me I am Asexual but even if I wasn't my health isn't the best. I'm unemployed as well and right now with everything it is not the best for me having kids. My family thinks I'm weird because of me being 28 and never had a boyfriend

 

 

Though mine is by choice that wasn't by choice. I was a victim of something when younger and due to that just chose to stay "single" ish

[orrrangeee]

Warning! Wall of Text inbound!

 

 

I will admit that the age the writer says is when he got married is the age I would start to consider marriage and maybe even do it if the conditions are right for me. Though, I still don't think I would have kids yet then (or ever).

 

I think it's a good thing that we aren't all going off and getting married young. There's really no need to. This point in time, more people are focused on school and traveling the world and making advancements in technology- and more times than not a family only slows them down. Nuclear families are becoming a thing of the past (and even then they weren't the most common, just the most "correct" and "accepted" form :\).

 

But anyway, let's pick apart this post:

 

Wait, what's integral about marriage??? Why do we NEED marriage? Why can't a couple just be happy and live together without needing rings and contracts to prove something? The ONLY reason I would want to be married to my SO is because of the benefits.

 

But what about marriage is integral to the advancement of our species? That part I don't understand. If anyone would like to clarify, please do.

 

 

I see a big 'slippery slope' fallacy here: for one thing, I fail to see how not engaging in marriage (at a young age or otherwise) is self-destructive, and it's compared to a situation that's absolutely ridiculous without a severe evolutionary change OR technological alteration/substitution.

 

I assume the writer says it's "self-destructive" under the assumption that only married people have (or at least want/will have) children. It's fully possible to NOT be married and still have kids and even be a happy, well-sustained family!

 

 

Assumes those who aren't getting married are somehow "afraid" of it.

 

 

Good for you, buddy! Not everyone is like you. Not everyone prefers being with others or wants children, be it for medical, mental, or other personal reasons.

 

 

I'd rather focus my younger years on going to school, networking, getting a job, getting a house, and otherwise establishing myself. While a family may not necessarily prevent that, it *will* slow me down. It's more mouths to feed, more money to spend, more time to invest in something that isn't establishing myself and learning.

 

And amazingly, not everyone wants kids. Kids would definitely slow me down like crazy. I'm NOT ready to handle that. I can barely take care of myself. I'm not too great with children to begin with. I can't handle the possibility of ending up with a rebellious/suicidal/homicidal/whatever else child that will eat up more than just money and resources, but be taxing on my mental, physical, and emotional health.

 

 

Assuming that being married and having kids = growing up/being an adult, AND that I'm somehow "scared" of it (well, in some ways I am terrified of having to go out in the world, but marrying+having kids does NOT mean I'll be a grown up any more than anything else, really.

 

 

*Excuse* you? "I didn't say every"- no, you didn't, but you are bigoted in shoving YOUR belief that our youth is *MEANT FOR* starting a family. Sure, you don't think everyone feels that calling, but you're claiming that, essentially, we're supposed to be doing that, whether we feel that calling or not.

 

 

I do have to say, he's right, it doesn't have to cost much money to be married (though most of the time the ring and the wedding reception do eat up *tons* of money) and those other activities certainly cost more. BUT there's a huge key difference in the act of marriage and those recreational activities:

 

The recreational activities are all for the experience and networking, two HUGE factors in establishing yourself in *anything*. And while marriage itself doesn't necessarily have to stop those activities or otherwise get in the way of them, this article already has the assumption that being married is the lead up to having kids- and children are DEFINITELY the most resource-intensive things out there. Divorce can also be a nasty business that can be quite expensive for at least one of the parties involved.

 

 

Implying marriage is an "important thing" and that networking and experience isn't. You know what my priorities are, even if I'm a little lacking on the over-motivational side of things? School. A job. A home of my own. Doing everything I can and want to do with friends and my current boyfriend before deciding on settling down anywhere (and even then I don't want to totally settle!). I want to experience as much as I can- go to parties, travel with friends, meet people- before anything else.

 

 

Last I checked, yes they do. Children are extra mouths to feed, extra bodies to clothe, extra people to *take care of*. They can get sick a lot easier than I do. They can have fatal allergies that make getting a vaccination out of the question, or make buying certain foods hard. And let's not get started on how much a rebellious child can cost in damages/bail or even a handicapped or special needs child can be.

 

These families are usually also always poor throughout their life because they have to take care of so many people. Generally they have to buy the cheapest *everything* just to scrape by. They have to make some scraps of food last a month between 4+ people. That's not living. That's surviving. That's not dying. The only way it is "living" is the bare minimum of breathing and sustaining.

 

I'll tell ya what kind of impulse control and discipline you could take: not having kids when you're not ready! There's a whole lot to sexual education and planned parenthood beyond abstinence or the bare minimum of condoms and/or birth control pills, but that's for another discussion.

 

 

Please please PLEASE do NOT try to assume how I or anyone else who grew up then feels, or try to sympathize and say how "terrible" our lives were because we didn't have the "perfect nuclear family". It is *incredibly* patronizing and makes me want to vomit.

 

I'm not my parents. I don't plan on doing what they've done. But I also don't plan on doing everything they *didn't* do, one of those being marriage. I don't plan on getting married because I want to show up anyone else's marriage.

 

I don't think marriage is misery. I don't think parenthood is misery. I am NOT jaded! I'm not in denial. These are simply things I don't want for MY life (at least right now and the near future) because I want to live my life free of all of that. I want to carve my own path.

 

 

 

Why can't I just do that WITHOUT being married??? Why can't my SO and I just experience life by each others' sides first???

 

 

I can accept that nothing is perfect. I don't think it will ever BE perfect- however! I *do* think it's a hell of a lot more responsible to feel at least *somewhat* ready. I want to have some things established beforehand, like having a job, having known my SO for a few *years*, having a car, having my own home, and also having lived with my SO for at LEAST a year.

 

 

Again, WHY DO I HAVE TO BE MARRIED??? Why can't I experience life alongside my SO without EVER BEING MARRIED???

 

 

This is exactly why I'd rather WAIT to marry until after I've established a bunch of things and feel ready- to avoid divorce as much as possible. I don't want to marry someone willy-nilly- I want to know that we're compatible, that I can live with them without wanting to murder them every other day, that I know we can sustain ourselves without much, if any, outside help. It's not so much obstacles I want to avoid- if we get into a situation where we're stressing over bills or some other obstacle that comes with living together, I'm not going to take it on the other person by divorcing them. The only reason I would divorce someone is if it just becomes impossible to live with them because they refuse to contribute at all and I feel I'm carrying a dead weight, or we both simply agree that we no longer feel any urge to be together and want to go our separate ways.

 

But those who want to back out at the FIRST sign of trouble should have thought about it more beforehand before jumping into married life. Look before you leap and all that.

 

 

Implying that having a spouse + children is more worthwhile than any other cause.

 

I completely think we should always keep our youth to ourselves. It's OUR youth, so sorry that I don't want to waste it on someone else and would rather do what *I* want. It's also implied that those things are the only things a youthful person ever wants to do.

 

I don't want to waste my youth on children that will only age me faster with all of the stress they can cause.

 

 

This is honestly AMAZING and I'm so glad it's being done. Personally I wouldn't mind having some eggs frozen and just donating the rest! Gives me one less painful thing to worry about month to month.

 

 

You better damn well believe it's empowerment. A man, or rather, people without fertile uteruses do not have to worry about becoming pregnant and having to go through 8-10 months of life-risking pregnancy. I'm not going to go into details right now because that, again, is another argument, but pregnancy has the potential to be an incredibly physically, mentally and emotionally taxing process that risks the uterus-bearer's as well as the child's life.

 

 

Gee, so sorry that I want to live MY life. Why should I take care of someone else when I can barely take care of myself? It's not that I don't want children because I hate them- if I don't have the time for them or otherwise don't want them *now* I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE PRESSURED INTO HAVING THEM NOW.

 

 

Is it so hard to believe that NOT EVERYONE WANTS CHILDREN?

 

Our world is crowded enough as it is. If I want a child, I can adopt. Removing a body part does not prevent me from having children if I want one. The adoption system is incredibly messed up; it could use all the help it can get in getting those kids out of there.

 

 

Then you can take your bigoted opinions and get out of my sight. You've now fallen to shaming those who don't want to live as you do, as if we're some kind of disease.

 

 

Ooh, getting into morality business here.

 

It sure can be- for some. I realize the writer claims he's not talking about everyone, but he's stated before that, though it's not everyone's calling, it's something that we "should do" anyway. And now, the implications are that those who choose to not start families are somehow less moral or not as moral and intellectual as they could potentially be.

 

 

I was WAITING for the moment religion was brought into this article. And at this point, I'm not even surprised it was. In my eyes, I don't care if someone marries and has a family for religious reasons- so long as it's not the ONLY reason. You shouldn't marry for God, Allah, Ra, Zeus, or anyone other than you and your spouse. Not even children. In fact, marriages only done or sustained for the sake of children are some of the most damaging.

 

I also just want to say that why 'sacrificial' love??? Am I sacrificing myself or my family somehow? A relationship should not be about giving in and having to sacrifice anything. Both sides need to give and take and help build, not give in and have to make sacrifices all the time.

 

 

 

But why do I need to be married to have any of that?

 

 

But why not? What difference does a ring and some paper make? Why can't I have a deeply-fulfilling relationship with my SO without being married? What makes MARRIED life so much better- no, so much more CORRECT and MORAL than NOT being married???

 

 

This is exactly the reason I don't want to marry willy-nilly. And why bother needing to marry at all to reaffirm such a choice?

 

 

I actually laughed at this because of how unspecific it is. Why yes, it is a thing! It seems you're trying to avoid saying "sex happens". Hey, it's okay, you can say sex. Sex is a natural biological function. But maybe you didn't mean sex? There are a lot of other things this statement could have meant: urination, defecation, mastication, digestion- all natural things! Biology could also mean plants, animals, or other living organisms and their functions. But I'm going to assume he means sex given what this article's topic is.

 

 

This is exactly why the ability to freeze eggs and sperm as well as adoption are all very empowering. BECAUSE we have a limited time. We don't necessarily have to birth the children.

 

 

Then we probably shouldn't be taking any medicine or vaccinations, or trying to wear glasses or braces or anything. Shouldn't we just let life run its course? If our bodies fall ill to some terrible fatal disease, then it should be our time to go. Our biology isn't a mistake, unless you count genetic "mistakes" such as infertility, disease, mutations, etc.

 

 

Not necessarily. It could be the worst. But you say it with such assurance that I feel like it's okay to blame you if I do it and it turns out you were wrong.

 

 

I think this is exactly the reason to put off family-making! This is the time to explore ourselves, each other, and the world. This is the time to focus on creating a better future for not just our descendants, but for the planet as a whole. We need those dreamers and revolutionaries NOW, not in ten years after they've settled down and have a family they need to look after.

 

 

 

How do YOU know that??? Maybe my fulfillment WILL be when I walk across some sandy beach.

 

...and I'm not going to swear to anyone but myself that I'll protect anyone, thank you. What good will swearing to God do? Why do I need to make that promise to Him or anyone else?

 

 

 

I think we're capable of great things, too, but starting a family is one of the most mundane, everyday things we can do. Why not, instead, create time machines or the cure for the deadliest of diseases or some other huge technological breakthrough? We've just landed on a comet. A COMET! Do you know how mind-blowing and amazing that really is? We could discover one of the possibilities for the beginning of life and all this writer wants is for everyone to start a family. A family might not get in the way of these advancements, but I wholeheartedly disagree when I think of the greatest things humanity can achieve.

 

Thank you for reading this huge wall of text.

Lol you are amazing. Amen.

[pony459]

I'm asexual and grey aromantic so kids is not on my list of things I want to do. And marriage is most likely a no, or a maybe

Edited March 6, 2015 by pony459

[rabbithaver]

Considering I'm trans and hoping for a hysterectomy in the future, kids aren't really my priority. They scare me. Older kids, like...10 and up I can communicate with and subsequently prove I am the alpha life form, but anything under that legitimately terrifies me. Also the whole...mostly attracted to women thing bums out my chances of biological offspring, so...

[KrazyKarp]

I'd like to marry someone someday and have kids. Even if I don't marry, I'll adopt some kids. Though honestly it's a good thing there are people out there who don't want kids since the world'll get overpopulated soon enough.

[pony459]

That's very true we already have so many people living in poverty and everything. I think if i ever did have kids i would adopt or foster older kids that need a home (i'm not good with babies and they usually are adopted easier and quicker I think). Even if i did end up having a biological child, i would still want to foster or adopt at some point if i decide later on that I want kids.

[Esko]

Okay, so I am in a set of two siblings. There is me, and my Junior year sister.

 

Out of the two of us, she would be the one to get married and have kids. She already had one boyfriend. She likes the whole relationship thingy. I don't. I love the thought of staying single forever. I even tell myself every day that I won't have kids. The farest I can go is adoption. And I might not even do that. The closest I will get to kids is a pet. I have enough stress and thoughts on my mind, and probably will as an adult, so I do not need kids. Plus, relationships in general are drama. I have seen it. All those movies, all those tv shows, all those comics. I have seen it. And I know how to avoid it. I thank those movies and tv shows for helping me learn to avoid love.

 

Whenever my dad informs me on how we should act, he sometimes says, 'When you two have kids..' He doesn't do that often, and I thank the good lord for that, but when he does, I want to roll my eyes SO FREAKING HARD. Why? Because me having kids is a definite no no.

 

I am glad to have a sib. It feels like there is less pressure on me to have kids. Since my sis will most likely have kids, at least my parents will have grandkids. And I will be the awesome person in my niece's/nephew' life :3

[Fightandspawn]

I don't want kids. I'm gifted and have ADHD. I'm not bragging. One is a curse, one is both blessing and curse. The kid would most likely inherit both of these, as I don't want to marry a blockhead should I ever marry (don't think I will) and I'm pretty sure ADHD is partly genetic. Also, I don't want money sucking leeches on me for 18 years! I don't want to be selfish, nor do I want kids.

Edited March 6, 2015 by Fightandspawn

[Brotato]

I'm currently working hard on getting a very well paying job in two years max once I graduate. When I amass a big enough fortune, I'll bank it, retire early and live like a king on my own. I'll travel a lot and do whatever I so well damn please. Money ladies and gentlemen. Money guarantees happiness. That's my likely undesired opinion.

 

 

Something else I need to address is when I'm often called out by relatives or friends of friends who are married or have kids of their own that I won't "fulfill my biological goal of spreading my genes". I've heard this argument so many times that it's starting to become funny to me.

 

Now, I can't speak for the rest of you who don't want to be parents, but I personally have given my life a different meaning. I have something else I want to achieve, and I already said what it is. I seek to be financially successful and free of bonds that restrict my freedom as an individual. I'm working hard to achieve that goal. I won't leave behind a legacy, I won't have people remember my name for at most the next hundred years, but even so, I'm still more likely to be successful in being remembered. Because family won't remember you for long. Think about it, when was the last time you thought about your great grandfather, or someone further down the line?

 

On the other hand, money is power in the modern world. If I amass a large enough amount of it, invest in businesses and continue to grow my fortune, as I am planning to do, odds are that if I manage to achieve some sort of recognizable feat, be that through donation, innovation or long-term partnership, I will be remembered for far far longer as a founder, an entrepreneur, a CEO or something of the like.

 

To each his own I say, unfortunately that's not a common saying among my peers here.

Edited March 7, 2015 by Brotato

[FiveSix]

"fulfill my biological goal of spreading my genes"

Even viruses can manage that, and they're not technically living things. I'm looking to do something a bit more original

 

I'm aromantic and asexual. I don't think me having kids would be good for me or them. I'll stick with something a bit more independent, something furry and four legged that meows.

[amthystfire]

I had a kid at 21 that I gave up for adoption (not going into the entire list of reasons, there are a lot of them) and haven't really felt the need to procreate further. I actually had a "friend" tell me six months or so ago that she thought I should break up my ex's (and now dear friend) engagement to a girl simply because she was overseas and this so-called friend thought "your biological clock is ticking." So ****ing what?

 

I want a house full of children does not in any way shape or form require that I biologically contribute to that mess. I might want to do fostering or adopt, or find someone who has a bunch of kids already, or maybe that isn't what I want anymore.

 

Yeah, I don't talk to her anymore, she lost a lot of respect that day and more later for other things.

 

I am 35, and have not had a "traditional" relationship. And I don't want one. I might someday change my mind but I doubt it. I have been openly poly and bi for about 10 years now. I don't think that restricting myself now will happen.

[AquaTart]

I don't want children nor do I want to be in a relationship.

 

Funny enough I consider myself a hopeless romantic for the reason that I could never be in an actual relationship. I feel like I'm so cynical about love that any amorous feelings I ever get are instantly shut down because I know I don't want to actually deal with the person. If my soul mate ever confessed to me I would still probably pass them up unless I thought they were 100% perfect.

 

Okay so the rest of this is the rambling of a cynical and probably slightly angry person's opinions on having kids so beware.

 

Whenever I hear someone say they want kids I instantly get angry and feel like they are a horrible person. Now before anyone gets defensive, just listen to everything I have to say first. Just trust me.

 

When someone tells me they want children I always ask them why. Almost every time they answer that they want to be a mother/father. There's nothing wrong with that, except to me it is the most dangerous reason to want to have a child. To me it means they aren't close to being ready and are only thinking for themselves.

 

You are not thinking of your possible future child, only about the benifits of having one. You're thinking only about the occasional golden moments that are usually glorified by all parents. Having a child is a burden that not everyone can and should not have to deal with. A child is not just a child, it is a person who is growing and learning from everything it sees. They will grow up to have thoughts of their own. They will do their own thing apart from what you want or expect them to. They will be forced to go through school and work, experience many hardships and illness, and eventually death.

 

My whole life I have been surrounded by nothing but all kinds of abuse, accidents, crimes, and death. Most everyone I became friends with has seen or experienced something they shouldn't have had to. One of my middle school friends who I originally thought had transferred was finally found when her neighbors couldn't stand the stench. Her death was from her own parents hands. The house next door has a story as well. My own niece almost died after the doctors refused week after week to look harder into her symptoms, which ended up being pneumonia.

 

Now you're thinking, "what does this have to do with anything?" In my opinion, it has to do with everything. No one takes into consideration what that child will have to see or experience. No one wants to think about the vile things that may happen to them. No one wants to imagine their child taken by death in a way that is unthinkable and too soon. No one wants to think about them choosing a life of drugs and crimes. No one will know whether your child will grow up to be the next Ted Bundy.

 

No one can choose to be born. We're all forced to live because of our parents whims. So many kids are then treated as if it's their fault and take the brunt of their parents misdirected hatred for their bad choices. Not to mention that they don't give the child the amount of attention they need to grow up healthy. It's horrible how neglect is often times overlooked because no one wants to call out a bad parent. Only something is done when damage has already been done to the child.

 

"There's no right way to be a parent." I call bull. Yes there is, it's called TLC, attention, food, clothes, home, and emotional support. Taking the time to nurture a child's development is important. Emotional and psychological neglect is just as horrendous as physical abuse and yet so many never take it seriously.

 

I don't want children because I am not ready for such a big responsibility. I can't give the attention a child needs as well as have a successful life. Why would I want to bring someone into this world when I have to expect the worst for them? Most of all I don't think I could handle the emotions of seeing them make wrong choices right after another, or see them in an abusive relationship, or even see them die from an illness or tragic accident. Just the thought of an imaginary child of mine going through anything similar to the life I had makes me cry, and there are worse lives out there than mine.

 

But so many are bound to give birth to the most intelligent children. Some will grow up to be the next inventor of something we could never dream of. Some will grow up and find the cure to some life-threatening illnesses. Some will simply grow up to be kind and help the world with their generosity.

 

For the sake of these children yet to be born, and the ones already in this world, I hope with all my heart that these parents take the time to understand the consequences of having a child and give it their all in the best possible way. If you want a child, there is nothing I can do about that but I sincerely hope you're thinking of that child and not just so you can say "I am a mother!"

 

So yeah, I think a lot of people are undeserving of having children, or just aren't ready. Just because the best time your body says to have a kid is in your early adulthood definitely does not mean you should jump to it. Having a kid when you're not ready is very nearly neglect depending on the situation.

 

Taking care of yourself before others is absolutely important until a relationship and child are brought into it. If you can't take care of yourself, how are you going to live with or take care of someone else?

 

 

Edited for entire words that were missed.

Edited March 7, 2015 by AquaTart

[High Lord November]

I'd like to have a SO at some point, and I would like to either adopt kids or have one via surrogate mother, or both. Marriage, eh, maybe, if for getting all the family together. I went to my cousin's marriage down in Mexico and I loved being around so much family.

[Esko]

I don't want children nor do I want to be in a relationship.

 

Funny enough I consider myself a hopeless romantic for the reason that I could never be in an actual relationship. I feel like I'm so cynical about love that any amorous feelings I ever get are instantly shut down because I know I don't want to actually deal with the person. If my soul mate ever confessed to me I would still probably pass them up unless I thought they were 100% perfect.

 

Okay so the rest of this is the rambling of a cynical and probably slightly angry person's opinions on having kids so beware.

 

Whenever I hear someone say they want kids I instantly get angry and feel like they are a horrible person. Now before anyone gets defensive, just listen to everything I have to say first. Just trust me.

 

When someone tells me they want children I always ask them why. Almost every time they answer that they want to be a mother/father. There's nothing wrong with that, except to me it is the most dangerous reason to want to have a child. To me it means they aren't close to being ready and are only thinking for themselves.

 

You are not thinking of your possible future child, only about the benifits of having one. You're thinking only about the occasional golden moments that are usually glorified by all parents. Having a child is a burden that not everyone can and should not have to deal with. A child is not just a child, it is a person who is growing and learning from everything it sees. They will grow up to have thoughts of their own. They will do their own thing apart from what you want or expect them to. They will be forced to go through school and work, experience many hardships and illness, and eventually death.

 

My whole life I have been surrounded by nothing but all kinds of abuse, accidents, crimes, and death. Most everyone I became friends with has seen or experienced something they shouldn't have had to. One of my middle school friends who I originally thought had transferred was finally found when her neighbors couldn't stand the stench. Her death was from her own parents hands. The house next door has a story as well. My own niece almost died after the doctors refused week after week to look harder into her symptoms, which ended up being pneumonia.

 

Now you're thinking, "what does this have to do with anything?" In my opinion, it has to do with everything. No one takes into consideration what that child will have to see or experience. No one wants to think about the vile things that may happen to them. No one wants to imagine their child taken by death in a way that is unthinkable and too soon. No one wants to think about them choosing a life of drugs and crimes. No one will know whether your child will grow up to be the next Ted Bundy.

 

No one can choose to be born. We're all forced to live because of our parents whims. So many kids are then treated as if it's their fault and take the brunt of their parents misdirected hatred for their bad choices. Not to mention that they don't give the child the amount of attention they need to grow up healthy. It's horrible how neglect is often times overlooked because no one wants to call out a bad parent. Only something is done when damage has already been done to the child.

 

"There's no right way to be a parent." I call bull. Yes there is, it's called TLC, attention, food, clothes, home, and emotional support. Taking the time to nurture a child's development is important. Emotional and psychological neglect is just as horrendous as physical abuse and yet so many never take it seriously.

 

I don't want children because I am not ready for such a big responsibility. I can't give the attention a child needs as well as have a successful life. Why would I want to bring someone into this world when I have to expect the worst for them? Most of all I don't think I could handle the emotions of seeing them make wrong choices right after another, or see them in an abusive relationship, or even see them die from an illness or tragic accident. Just the thought of an imaginary child of mine going through anything similar to the life I had makes me cry, and there are worse lives out there than mine.

 

But so many are bound to give birth to the most intelligent children. Some will grow up to be the next inventor of something we could never dream of. Some will grow up and find the cure to some life-threatening illnesses. Some will simply grow up to be kind and help the world with their generosity.

 

For the sake of these children yet to be born, and the ones already in this world, I hope with all my heart that these parents take the time to understand the consequences of having a child and give it their all in the best possible way. If you want a child, there is nothing I can do about that but I sincerely hope you're thinking of that child and not just so you can say "I am a mother!"

 

So yeah, I think a lot of people are undeserving of having children, or just aren't ready. Just because the best time your body says to have a kid is in your early adulthood definitely does not mean you should jump to it. Having a kid when you're not ready is very nearly neglect depending on the situation.

 

Taking care of yourself before others is absolutely important until a relationship and child are brought into it. If you can't take care of yourself, how are you going to live with or take care of someone else?

 

 

Edited for entire words that were missed.

That is too true. I don't wanna go through all that only to watch the poor kid die. I don't want to take the chance to see if my kid is the one to do something great. I would hate to see my kid turn into one of those slang speaking idiots I see every day in school, and since there is one smart kid out of ten these days, I fear the worst. Often, my luck isn't the best, so why would I try?

 

When I am adult, I need to first focus on my money situation first before I even think of having kids someday. Having kids sucks your money like a leech. My family doesn't have the best financial situation, and I can not afford to make the same mistakes my elders did with their money. I can't, or my whole life will fall in front of my eyes. Lots of people make the mistake of getting a child fresh out of collage.

 

Why need a kid, anyways? Sure, it keeps humans alive, but we already have over 7 billion humans in the world, and the population is rapidly growing. We have more lives being created then ending. Hate me if you want, but we don't need a buttload more lives brought into the world. We already have a bunch. Not every female needs to get pregnant. Not every girl can.

 

People who read this. If you want a child, go ahead. But think of your money first. And how much people are already here.

[Pippyspot]

I think it's about personal choice, and it's definitely not for some people

[Brite]

I've been recently told that a marriage with no children will make me get bored. I don't think so I'm admitting right now that I HATE children and am too selfish to be responsible for them. I get criticized all the time for these thoughts but it's true. I'm perfectly happy with a mate and no babies. The only babies I'll have are animals.

[Jazeki]

After foolishly taking on the responsibility of raising a puppy to a now three-year-old adult dog, I have further cemented the idea in my brain that I do not want children. I was living with a roommate and the time and adopted the puppy because I wanted one and well, there she was needing love, attention, vet care, puppy supplies--the whole nine yards. Luckily, I had help from my roommate and my parents at the time. The dog is now a happy, well-adjusted adult who keeps my parents' senior dog company until I get my own place again, but I can only imagine how caring for a child would be on top of all of my other expenses/responsibilities.

 

I would like a significant other one day, but I don't feel like I need a child or a S.O. to prove my worth or be happy.

[Lurhstaap]

I am biologically unable to have kids (not as in "doctor told me so", the necessary internal parts are literally gone). Even if I could, though, I would probably never do so. My partner and I are content with our relationship. We don't need kids to keep from being 'bored'. If I were ever to want a kid I would adopt. I was adopted myself and it seems to me that there are more than enough kids needing parents out there to prevent me from needing to reproduce in any event. Plus, I have biological siblings. Let -them- make babies.