Posted July 25, 2013 (edited) <><><> Pokémon Fallout <><><> ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Welcome to the OOC/SU thread for Pokémon Fallout! We're a post-apocalyptic, sandbox style Pokemon roleplay set in the Sinnoh region. Here, we take a little twist from the traditional style, so if you're interested to know more, read the plot! Please note before signing up that it has been somewhere around 100 years since Pokemon vanished. You can use this thread to discuss anything having to do with the plot, and it's also the thread for SUs. Please look below for the Sign Up Template and use that when writing your SUs. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ <><><> Link to the IC Thread <><><> ------------------------------------------------------------------------- <><><> Rules: <><><> •All of the forum-wide rules apply, as always. • You may not control the NPC bosses without GM permission. • This roleplay uses the game's canon, not the anime or manga's. • If you have an issue with something or someone in the roleplay, please bring it up with the GM(s). If it is about another roleplayer specifically, please bring it up IN PRIVATE. We are reasonable GM(s) and you should be able to expect to be able to work out any problems with us to the best of our ability. The only reason you will ever be removed from the Roleplay for rule violations is if you refuse to work with us to fix the problem. • Because there is unlimited spots in the roleplay, there will not be a strict activity enforcement. However, if you do not post for days and other people are waiting on you, they are then free to move ahead without you. You may resume posting whenever you wish, but you are not allowed to demand that another RPer waits an extended period of time for you. Other RPers may not, however, bunny your character any more than necessary to move on in turn, and if you feel that someone moving on was handled inappropriately please bring it to the GMs. • No guns whatsoever. Human weapons in general are to be considered useless when used on pokespirit wielders, with the exception of explosives, which are able to cause bruises and stun pokespirit wielders that weren't bracing themselves. Heavier explosives may result in severe disorientation, and/or the victim being thrown through the air, and may cause bruises more frequently, but once again are unlikely to actually end a pokespirit wielder's life. The one exception on human weapons is a blade wielded by a pokespirit wielder. A blade wielded by a pokespirit wielder is capable of causing significant damage to other pokespirit wielders due to the sheer strength behind it, but unless it is properly strengthened will be very prone to shattering on any given strike. •DC rules denotate this Roleplay as PG-13. A lot of hardcore things are going to happen in this roleplay. This is as real as it gets. People die, and quite frankly, cannibals kind of exist. However, that being said, there are still some limitations to prevent this from jumping straight to MA territory. First of all, the graphic content of posts must be kept reasonably low. Terrible things happen, but as shown in the plot if it gets really awful it should be implied instead of explicitly described. If a post is deemed too graphic you will receive a Private Message asking you to edit it. Due to the fact that MA roleplays are completely against the rules, failure to edit posts deemed too mature in a reasonable amount of time will result in me having to ask for moderator help in deleting said post. •In terms of romance, there's a strict ban on smut. End of story. •Your characters will start off with one Pokespirit, though you can gain more by killing other wielders, or, very rarely, discovering a wandering spirit. When reaping a dead wielder's spirit, you may only take the one that the wielder had active before dying. If no spirit was active at the time of death, the last spirit that the deceased wielder had fused with would become apparent. Any other spirits will travel directly back to the Spire, with no chance of being able to reap them for your own. •Throw your conception of time out the window, because though days will pass, no character will actually age. Just to keep things simple, if you have a character that starts out as 14, they will remain 14 for the entirety of your time in this Roleplay. •Making your own miniplots is not only accepted, but encouraged. Except for the occasional large-scale event, players will be left to themselves to do so. However, if you need one for your character, or none of your fellow RPers can think of anything, PM one of the GMs, and we should be able to help nudge you in the proper direction. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- <><><> Mechanics <><><> Leveling: There is no leveling here. Instead you'll be left to your own devices to write your character maturing combat-wise at your own pace. Or not. Nobody said you had to rise up and be the ultimate warrior. Use your imagination! Fighting is freeform and once again you can use your imagination here. All pokespirit wielders are stronger, faster and more durable than regular humans by default. Evolution is mostly cosmetic here with the exception of a growing movepool, and most spirits won't evolve through combat at all. (Meaning you get to choose if they do or don't.) Combat: You can either agree to the outcome of a fight beforehand or let the GM(s) be the judges and improvise. If it is determined that you have lost a deathmatch, meaning the loser is finished off, you may work with the GM(s) to see what can be done about perhaps having your character miraculously survive (unlikely) or how you can continue being a part of the roleplay. If the victor does not attempt to finish the loser off, it is not a deathmach. The nature of pokemon attacks denotes they are very difficult to dodge without having an evasion type move of some sort. If you frequently dodge attacks listed as having 100% accuracy with no justification you WILL be called on godmodding. In addition, you shouldn't be able to take many direct hits unless there's a type resistance at play or other defensive move. No pokemon is that tanky to just shrug off attacks without doing anything to protect themselves. Hidden Moves: HM moves do not exist and instead pokemon that are capable of learning the moves can simply use their effects without wasting a move slot. For example, a bird-type spirit wielder could merely fly, if their fused form allowed it, without needing to specifically know the move Fly. Fusing: As it is the nature of Pokemon spirits to reside within one's mind, a Wielder must "fuse" with their spirit in order to gain the abilities and, to a degree, their appearance. In order to access the moves that any one spirit knows, the wielder must be fused with said spirit, and any abilities given by any other spirit will recede. When fused with a spirit, all characters must maintain a humanoid shape and no character may exceed 10'0'' (3.048 meters) or be smaller than 2'0'' (0.6096 meters) in height. As a rule of thumb, when one's character is fused they should not look to be more than 30% Pokemon nor less than 10%. Any more or less than this, and you will not be accepted. Pokespirits: These are the spirits of Pokemon that wielders fuse with. They manifest the selves at the spire atop Mount Coronet as clouds of energy, however once bonded with a wielder reside within that wielder's body. There they remain until the death of the host, or the unlikely event of Pokemon being returned to their mortal forms. If a wielder has more than one spirit, they may switch between them at will, though any other active spirits will recede. A wielder may not be fused with more than one spirit at any given time. During the time that a Pokespirit is bonded, it may manifest itself as an image of its former self to its host, however only the host can see it, and communication is strictly mental, lest someone think you are talking with yourself. To learn about "Fusing" see above. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- <><><> Plot: <><><> When Ghetsis was defeated atop N's castle most people had assumed his dream had not only been doomed never to see the light of day, but abandoned by N himself. Team Plasma was a broken shell of its former self, its members in hiding or prison and it's sages having more or less accepted their failure. Team Plasma never recovered, and so the crisis was thought to have passed. ...However, what nobody had seen coming was that N's dream lived on. Not through N, nor Team Plasma, nor even Ghetsis, but through their admirers. A group of radicals operating low-key as scientists pursued to succeed where N had failed. Through their own, far less innocent methods, they sought to engineer something that could break the mysterious bond between man and pokemon under the guise of trying to understand it; and so they did. First, they created a formula that could break the bond, and through further study they were able to initiate a kind of biological warfare unlike anything anyone had ever seen before. A virus was released which could infect and attack pokemon, removing their ability to develop or maintain bonds with their trainers or others in general. The worst had yet to come, however. From atop his celestial perch, Arceus was not unaware of this act against... well... itself! From the dawn of the pokemon they had been meant to be companions to humans. Who dared commit such a crime? Arceus looked out and saw that the world had become uninhabitable for pokemon to live without losing their gift, and was enraged. Just like that, he took back the gift of pokemon entirely. Pokemon rapidly began vanishing off the face of the earth, their spirits being recalled to a place not even the virus could reach them. ...And what of the humans? Humanity was alright, for a short time. There was great panic and with good cause however as humanity became intimately aware of how much it had depended on pokemon. Everything from the police, to rescue teams, to hospitals, to farmers, EVERYTHING had depended on pokemon to some degree. Without pokemon, some of these things were made impossible or obscenely difficult compared to before. Crime ran rampant. Without pokemon there was no meat, and the produce supplies were quickly diminished. Humanity as a whole quickly devolved into chaos as people were forced against a rock and a hard place. In the end, humanity itself was nearly wiped out, though as the population declined it became easier for individuals to survive. Unspeakable horrors were committed in the name of life or death and a new era of depravity was formed. Children were the target of much hate, as well as those whom had them, humans beginning to looking at them as no more than extra mouths to feed. Humanity eventually managed to stabilize itself, however. It was broken, but not down and out. Not even the scientists who had caused the catastrophe had been immune to the consequences, as they had no idea how dire said consequences would be. It was not truly the apocalypse, however. Some of humanity stood strong to their morals even as demise was upon them. Though they were often crushed under the boot of the horde their stands did not go unseen. Arceus eventually found it in itself to seek a remedy to the situation, to spare a shred of mercy. Using its awesome power, Arceus restored the pokemon in a new form, that of which not even the virus could hope to corrupt. A quake of unimaginable power shook Mt. Coronet and tore it asunder. Yet, from the gaping wound in the earth at the peak erupted a giant crystal spire. The crystal shimmered with divine power, and from it the spirits of the pokemon returned, giving the spire the appearance of a giant tree atop the mountain. From then on, children from the ages of 10 to 14 would feel drawn to the site, wherein the spirit of a pokemon would choose them and fuse with them, giving the child the ability to take on some of the features of that pokemon and access to that pokemon's powers. In addition, a large stone tablet rose with the formation, upon which was carved the words "BRING YOURSELVES TO JUSTICE" in plain English as well as several commandments in a language that only pokemon spirits can read. The commandments read as followed, and pokemon spirits are not only allowed but encouraged to tell their human host: "The world has been broken, and it is humanity's fault." "It is up to you to bring justice to yourselves and the world." "You must guide yourself, however..." "These are the laws of Arceus!" •"Let yourself be washed of your moral preconceptions. From the first time you've read these commandments, let them be your only laws. Then and only then allow yourselves to rediscover what you believe is right or wrong." •"You shall not harm the spirit of the Pokemon, lest divine retribution strike." •"You shall be in possession of no more than six pokemon spirits at any one time, lest your spirit become suppressed." •"If you take the spirit of the pokemon from another you must take it for your own, lest it turn on you." •"You shall not harm children under the age of fourteen that have not yet received their pokemon spirit." It's now up to these children to change the world for better or worse. What will you fight for, and ultimately, what will become of humanity and the world they live in? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- <><><> Who are you? <><><> Most likely, you will be playing as one of the children gifted with a spirit of pokemon. Some of the adults would like to enslave you for work purposes, and the world is still rather chaotic. Your goal is either to bring the world out of it's depraved state, rule it, or whatever your character wants. The only thing that stands in the way is the other children that aren't on your side. Your pokemon spirits are there to guide and support you either way, as all of them can communicate with their human host mentally. In addition to being able to fuse with your pokemon spirit and take on their powers and some of their features you have the ability to absorb the pokemon spirits of defeated opponents, and if you're more cruelly inclined you can even absorb the life energy of defeated others themselves, in which case they would perish and their physical form be converted into pure energy. In a world without any creatures besides humans and very scarce edible plant life you may find that it doesn't take an evil lunatic to resort to... unorthodox methods of obtaining subsistence. That being said, it may be important that your character know when to run to avoid such a fate. You may optionally sign up for a normal human if you so wish, or even one of the nefarious adults. However, you should be warned that without a pokespirit you will be mostly helpless if confronted by someone wielding one. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- <><><> Key Locations <><><> The setting of the roleplay is in the Sinnoh region. Many of the cities and towns have been abandoned due to humanity's collapse, leaving little to no life in their ghostly wake. Any and all edible plant life is typically hoarded, making finding some without stealing from another rare. Non-edible plant life such as trees are still in plenty supply, however. There are four key locations still inhabited by humans. Jubilife City [Hostile towards children] Jubilife City is a shadow of it's former self; buildings succumbing to disrepair, power lost, and filth covering the streets that the homeless are forced to live on. This city is home primarily to adults. It's one of the most highly populated city in Sinnoh alongside Eterna City. Children are banished from this city completely, sent to Eterna or flat out executed if they resist. This city is lead by a cynical old man named Richard Lewt. Eterna City [Mildly Hostile towards free pokespirit wielders] Eterna City, being partly ruins to begin with, looks a bit less horrifying than Jubilife. Though trash is still omnipresent, and buildings are not in great shape, many of the older buildings look little to no different than they did before. This city is home to both adults and children, most of which children have not yet received pokespirits, except for a select few that decided not to rebel. Said few are often forced to do heavy labor such as heavy lifting and cleaning. This city is ruled by a middle-aged man named Earnest MacKenzie. Children's City (Previously Hearthome City) [Hostile towards adults] Hearthome City, like Jubilife, is in terrible condition. It was once a city home to both children and humans, until a boy named Nicholas received his pokespirit and successfully used his newfound powers to either drive out the adults or kill them. The survivors generally migrated to Jubilife. Thus, this city was renamed "Children's City". Nicholas now rules Children's City with an iron fist, crushing what little resistance there is with violence. Adults are banished from the city, and those loyal to Nicholas will attack them on sight. The Undeground [Generally hostile to anyone] The Underground of Sinnoh is less of an organized society like the other key points and more of a hive of scum and villainy these days. People of all ages come here to hide or acquire the services of those whom don't want to be found. Being in this place is generally dangerous in and of itself, as those around are often at least mildly hostile to anyone they don't know. Through digging, one can find the fossils of long extinct pokemon. However, even if one acquired the technology to revive them, it would not work. They thus serve as a sad reminder of what once was. The closest thing to a ruler of this city is a pokespirit wielding young crime lord named Lizzy Borkson ------------------------------------------------------------------------- <><><> NPC Bosses <><><> Nicholas (Tyrannitar) Nicholas is the leader of Children's City. A young boy with a deep-seated hatred toward adults, he is credited with creating aforementioned town. However, the history of how he went about doing this is dark indeed. At first, he was a hero to his kind, gaining a pokespirit and fighting off the suppressors. However, his hatred fueled revenge quickly began to accelerate into a full-blown genocide on a level that terrified those that saw it. Such was the extent of his conquest that he successfully drove all adults from what is now considered the Children's City. He is known as a bully and dictator, being quick to anger and use violence when the peace of his little utopia is threatened. The raw destructive power he possesses is terrifying, even among pokespirit wielders. Fearful gossip has it that he could single-handedly bring down the world if he wanted. However, if this was true, it's anyone's guess why he hasn't tried eliminating adults completely. Difficulty: Closest thing to a final boss short of other players. High-Impossible Lizzy Borkson (Duskull) Lizzy is the leader of a crime organization dedicated to stealing supplies from...really everyone. They're a rather selfish bunch generally, and don't much care for anyone outside of their group. Lizzy herself is rather cruel, and enjoys scaring others in her free time, though occasionally her visits are a little less innocent. Being more or less the heart of the Undeground society, she has achieved notoriety for her misdeeds. Due to her having an entire gang under her control, fighting her can be quite a mistake. Difficulty: High Anne Lorkum (Haxorus) Anne is a young female that wanders the wilderness. She's known for having lost herself to madness. If you wanted to know exactly how she lost herself, you'd have to ask around, as this is not widely known knowledge. What is known, however, is that most of her humanity is long gone, leaving a berserk, violent beast in its wake. She is terrifyingly powerful in that there are little to none that can hope to match her in physical combat. Yet, she is not the best at taking a hit... Difficulty: Medium-High Fiona Ward (Arcanine) Fiona is the leader of a small "pack" of pokespirit wielders, a young girl, and it is near impossible to catch her alone. She is distrusting of outsiders, and serves as a sort of mother figure to the others. She is rumored to be one of the first pokespirit wielders in existence. Alone she is not extremely difficult to overpower, but her "pack" is highly loyal and together they can be a very dangerous threat when provoked. Difficulty: Medium-High Zack Williams (Kabutops) Zack is one of the few pokespirit wielders that never rebelled against the adults. This boy is living in a state of depressed denial in which he desires to trust the adults of Eterna, but they keep abusing him for his powers. His hard work has made him strong, however, and confronting him could be dangerous. Difficulty: Medium The Adults (Normal Human) If you venture into adult territory, you may come across adults that will condemn you for being a pokespirit wielder. If this happens and you do not flee, you may find yourself confronted with an angry mob that may not LET you flee. You will then be faced with a grim choice; that of you or them. Winning depends primarily upon the guts of your character and the drive to survive. Past that, it isn't remotely difficult. Difficulty: Low ------------------------------------------------------------------------- <><><> Sign Up / SU Template <><><> Pokespirit wielder (Recommended) <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Name: Nickname: (Optional) Age: (10-14) Sex: (Male or Female) Appearance: (A picture can be provided instead of a description if you so wish.) Minimum of 3 lines if no picture is provided. Personality: (How does your character act and react to others? Their mental state? Flaws and/or personal weaknesses?) 4 lines minimum History: (Where did your character grow up? Who did they grow up with? What have the been doing before this? Any noteworthy events?) 4 lines minimum Pokéspirit: (No legendaries. Alternate color schemes are allowed.) -Species: -Nickname: (Optional) -Personality: (Can be as short or long as you want): -Moves: (Maximum of 6. TM and egg moves are allowed. These are the moves your character gets when they fuse) Other: (This is where you put any unique traits, quirks, or additional powers your pokespirit may give your character. If they're based on quirks or abilities the original pokemon had, you have a high probability of being accepted.) Opening Post: (This will be what we use to determine whether your writing skills are good enough. If accepted, you may feel free to copy paste your post here into the IC thread.) I would recommend a minimum of 8 lines and a maximum of 20, but it's your choice. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Normal Human: <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Name: Nickname: (Optional) Age: (Any age) Sex: (Male or Female) Appearance: (A picture can be provided instead of a description if you so wish.) Minimum of 3 lines if no picture is provided. Personality: (How does your character act and react to others? Their mental state? Flaws and/or personal weaknesses?) 4 lines minimum History: (Where did your character grow up? Who did they grow up with? What have the been doing before this? Any noteworthy events?) 4 lines minimum Opening Post: This will be what we use to determine whether your writing skills are good enough. If accepted, you may feel free to copy paste your post here into the IC thread.) I would recommend a minimum of 8 lines and a maximum of 20, but it's your choice. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Edited September 12, 2013 by IceFyr1928 Share this post Link to post
Posted July 25, 2013 (edited) Reserved for character sheets Edited July 25, 2013 by IceFyr1928 Share this post Link to post
Posted July 25, 2013 I can see that a tonne load of effort has been put into this RP, I'm not normally one to join a Pkmn RP, but this RP is not just your stereotypical pkmn RP and looks like it could be real fun to RP. Just a question though, Is there a limit to the poke spirits you can have? Likewise apart from absorbing the spirits from those you defeat, is there another method? For the first pokespirit, it can be any stage within said pkmns evolutionary line or does it have to be from the first> Share this post Link to post
Posted July 25, 2013 (edited) Question 1: Take a peek at the commandments near the bottom of the plot. Question 2: under SOME conditions, though it is rare, you may run into a rogue spirit. But really you can only accumulate them from other dead wielders. Question 3: You can use whichever stage you want, as it says in the leveling section, evolutions only really get you moves your previous evolution could not retrieve. Edited July 25, 2013 by IceFyr1928 Share this post Link to post
Posted July 26, 2013 I devolve into incomplete sentences at the end because I had to write “there should be a comma between […]” too many times. Just correcting a few typos: They manifest the selves "The selves" should be "themselves." at he spire atop Mount Coronet as clouds At the spire, not at he spire. clouds of energy, however once There should be a semicolon between energy and however. There should also be a comma after however. however once bnded with a wielder "bnded" should be "bonded". however once bnded with a wielder reside within that wielder's In addition to comma after however, there should be a comma after the first wielder. There should also be the word "they" before the first wielder. It turns in: "however, once bonded with a wielder, they reside". or the event of Pokemo being returned to their mortal forms. "Or the" should be "or in the". "of Pokemo" should be "of the Pokemon". This is more a stylistic choice, but "being returned" could change into "returning". This roleplay uses the game's canonities, not the anime or the mangas. "Game's canonities" should be "game's cannon". "Anime or mangas" should be "anime or manga's". and if you feel that someone moving on was handled inappropriately please bring it to the GMs so we can see what can be done. There should be a comma between "inappropriately" and "please". Human weapons in general are to be considered useless when used on pokespirit wielders with the exception of explosives which are able to cause bruises and stun pokespirit wielders that weren't bracing themselves. There should be commas between "wielders" and "with", and "explosives" and "which". Random gang signs go here People die There should be a period between "here" and "People". People die, and quite frankly, cannibals kind of exist. There should be a comma between "and" and "quite". The comma between "die" and "and" should be deleted. "Kind of" should be "kind-of". Terrible things happen, yeah, but as shown in the plot if it gets really awful it should be implied instead of explicitly described. There should be commas between "but" and "as", and "plot" and "if". If a post is deemed too graphic you will receive a Private Message asking you to edit it. Comma between "graphic" and "you". Instead you'll be left to your own devices to write your character maturing combat-wise at your own pace. Comma between "instead" and "you'll". Fighting is freeform and once again you can use your imagination here. Commas between "and" and "once", "again" and "you". You could substitute "to reiterate" for "once again" here. No pokemon is that tanky to just shrug off attacks without doing anything to protect themselves. Random comment, but Blissey. Even in the game's cannon.... HM moves do not exist and instead pokemon that are capable of learning the moves can simply do them without wasting a move slot. Comma between "and" and "instead". to gain the abilities and, to a degree, their appearance. This implies that they gain an appearance while not having one before. The word "change" should go between "degree" and "their". of its former self to its host, however only the host can see it, and communication is strictly mental, lest someone think you are talking with yourself. Semicolon between "host" and "however", and a comma between "however" and "only". When Ghetsis was defeated atop N's castle most people had assumed N's dream had not only been doomed never to see the light of day Comma between "castle" and "most". its members in hiding or prison and it's sages having more or less accepted their failure "It's sages" should be "its sages". You got it right in the first part of the sentence... not through N, nor Team Plasma, nor even Ghetsis, The "nor"s should be "or"s. A group of radicals operating low-key as scientists pursued to succeed where N had failed through their own, far less innocent methods. "Low-key" can be turned into "undercover" if you wish. "Pursued to succeed" makes little sense, perhaps it can be "wished to succeed". Comma between "innocent" and "methods". From atop his celestial perch Arceus was not unaware of this act against... well... itself! Comma between "perch" and "Arceus". From the dawn of the pokemon they had been meant to be companions to humans. Makes little sense as there is no subject. "The dawn of Pokemon" is a gerund. The sentence might make sense turned into "From the beginning, Pokemon had always been meant to be companions with humans." Pokemon rapidly began vanishing off te face of the earth "Te" should be "the". There was great panic and with good cause however as humanity became intimately aware of how much it had depended on pokemon. Semicolon needed between "cause" and "however". Comma needed between "however" and "as". Decide whether you want to capitalize "pokemon" or not; you did so before, why not now? as people were forced against a rock and a hard place. The idiom is "between a rock and a hard place". Humanity eventually managed to stabilize itself, however. I don't like that "however" as it implies that there is more to that sentence. Perhaps you can change the sentence to "Despite the chaos, humanity eventually managed to stabilize itself." Though they were often crushed under the boot of the horde their stands did not go unseen Comma needed between "horde" and "stands". Arceus restored the pokemon in a new form, that of which not even the virus could hope to corrupt "That of which" should be "that which". Yet, from the gaping wound in the earth at the peak erupted a giant crystal formation. ...At the peak of a downwards rift? You mean ground level? This sentence can be changed into "Yet, in the place of Mount Coronet's old peak, a giant crystal formation erupted from the gaping wound in the earth." children from the ages of 10 to 14 would feel drawn to the site, wherein the spirit of a pokemon "Wherein" is normally used in a legal context ("claim 12, wherein") and actually means "in which", not "where". Your goal is either to bring the world out of it's depraved state "It's" should be "its". In addition to being able to fuse with your pokemon spirit and take on their powers and some of their features you have the ability to absorb the pokemon spirits of defeated opponents, and if you're more cruelly inclined you can even absorb the life energy of defeated others themselves, in which case they would perish and their physical form be converted into pure energy ...That is one impressive run-on sentence. Commas needed between "features" and "you", and "inclined" and "you". Semicolon needed between "opponents" and "if" (delete the "and"). "Defeated others" is a really round-about phrase, so it might be more clear to say "others that you defeat" and delete "themselves". You may optionally sign up for a normal human if you so wished, or even one of the nefarious adults. However, you should be warned that without a poke spirit you will be mostly helpless if confronted by someone wielding one. "You many optionally" should be "optionally, you may". "So wished" should be "so wish". Combine the sentences with a semicolon between "adults" and "however". "Poke spirit" should be "pokespirit". Any and all edible plant life is typically hoarded, making finding some without stealing from another rare; however, non-edible plant life[]b,[/b] such as trees, is still in plentiful supply, however. Changes in bold. Jubilife City is a shadow of it's former self "It's" should be "its". and filth covering the streets that the homeless are forced to live on this city is home primarily to adults. There should be a period between "on" and "this". This city is home to both adults and children, most of which children have not yet received pokespirits Delete the second "children". Once a city home to both children and humans a boy named Nicholas receiving his pokespirit successfully used his newfound powers to either drive the adults out or kill them. Makes no sense as is. In the first part of the sentence, you're talking about Hearthome, and in the second you're talking about Nicholas. Make up your mind! If you want the focus to be put on Hearthome, the sentence can be changed to "Once home to both children and adults, Hearthome changed when a boy, Nicholas, received his pokespirit and drove out the adults." If you want the focus on Nicholas, the sentence can be "Nicholas, a boy in the former city of Hearthome, upon receiving his pokespirit, used his new-found powers to either drive out the adults or kill them." Those loyal to Nicholas will attack on sight. I'm pretty sure that you mean attack adults on sight. People of all ages come here to hide or acquire the services of those whom don't want to be found "Whom" should be "who" Through digging, one can find the fossils of long extinct pokemon. However, even if one acquired the technology to revive them, it would not work. "Long extinct" should be "long-extinct". There should be a semicolon between "pokemon" and "however", combining the sentences. The closest thing to a ruler of this city is a pokespirit wielding young crime lord named Lizzy Borkson You need a period at the end of the sentence. "Pokespirit wielding" should "pokespirit-wielding". "Young" should go before "pokespirit-wielding". Nicholas is the "leader" of children's city. Capitalize "children's city". aforementioned town. However, the history of how he went about doing this is dark indeed. Semicolon between "town" and "however". fighting off the suppressors. However, his hatred fueled revenge Semicolon between "suppressors" and "however". "Hatred fueled" should be "hate-fueled". Fearful gossip has it that he could single-handedly bring down the world if he wanted. However, if this was true, it's anyone's guess why he hasn't tried eliminating adults completely. Semicolon between "wanted" and "however". Closest thing to a final boss short of other players. High-Impossible "High-Impossible" can be "Nigh-Impossible" if you want a proto-pun. dedicated to stealing supplies from...really everyone "really everyone" should be "everyone, really". and enjoys scaring others in her free time though occasionally her visits are a little less innocent. Comma between "time" and "though". fighting her can be quite a mistake You need a period at the end of every sentence. Anne is a young wandering female that wanders the wilderness. Redundant, much? What is known however is that most of her humanity is long gone Please stop throwing the word "however" around however you like. "long gone" should be 'long-gone'. Yet, she is not the best at taking a hit. Get rid of 'yet' and capitalize 'she' She is distrusting of outsiders, and serves as a sort of mother figure to the others Should be 'mother-figure' instead of 'mother figure'. Alone she is only , but her "pack" is highly loyal and together they can be a very dangerous threat when provoked. Alone she is only what? His hard work has made him strong, however, and confronting him could be dangerous. Semicolon between 'strong' and 'however'. You will then be faced with a grim choice; that of you or them. A dash can be substituted for the semicolon to make the sentence more dramatic. Past that it's not remotely difficult. Comma between "that" and "its". Remember that "however", unless using it in a sentence such as: "however difficult it may be, you must succeed", must always be preceded by a semicolon and followed by a comma. On the whole, it seems as if you need more commas. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) I have three things to say. First off: Save me a spot!! Second: I am still confused as to whether you can have one Pokespirit or six. Third: Corrosion, if I signed up, could I make a character to be a medium-high boss? Edited July 26, 2013 by nicknick88 Share this post Link to post
Posted July 26, 2013 I have three things to say. First off: Save me a spot!! Second: I am still confused as to whether you can have one Pokespirit or six. Third: Corrosion, if I signed up, could I make a character to be a medium-high boss? ...I'm not the GM of this. ._. I just corrected some errors. IceFyr1928 is the GM. I also would like to reserve a spot, if possible Share this post Link to post
Posted July 26, 2013 ...I'm not the GM of this. ._. I just corrected some errors. IceFyr1928 is the GM. I also would like to reserve a spot, if possible Oh I got confused cause of the posts, well another thing: My problems with this RP are not grammar problems, but clarity. How do you steal someone else's Pokespirit? Can you? If you have more than one Pokespirit, do you obtain qualities of all the Pokémon? How do you get a second Pokespirit? Do people who got their Pokespirits at fourteen lose them at fifteen? Share this post Link to post
Posted July 26, 2013 I have some questions of my own: How long has the whole situation been going on? How do you shift from pokespirit to pokespirit? Do stink bombs do much of anything to the pokespirit wielders? Where do the pokespirits go when they're not active? Can you combine pokespirits (use all of your spirits' powers at once)? Share this post Link to post
Posted July 26, 2013 Well. Lots of stuffs to fix. Guess that's what I get for throwing this up at 11:30 at night. I'll look into fixing those. Nick- When you start playing, you have only one Pokespirit, or you gain your first from the Spire. Any past that are aquired by killing another spirit wielder, after which you will be able to grab the spirit that they most recently had active. This is usually the one they used in combat against you before they are killed. This is a bit confusingly worded, so I'll look into some revisions when I go to fix the grammar. As for for the "boss" idea, I think it may be a bit questionable, depending on your position. If you mean just the boss of a small gang, sure, but if you mean something big such as in the same range as Lizzy and Nicholas, then that's a big no-no. Of course, any player with a powerful spirit can be sort of like a boss, which is why PvP battles tend to be much harder than player versus NPC. Corrosion- Near the beginning of the post, it said that this is taking place 100 years after the disappearance of Pokemon, which in itself took 10 years after the events of Black and White. Stink bombs, I would think, would have the normal effect, though it would not be as debilitating. However, there are some types that are resilient to stuff like that, namely the poison type, so it really depends on the victim. Changing spirits is quite simple, as the wielder merely wishes the change and the spirits do the rest. Think of it like switching your Pokemon in battle, but not restricted to turn-based. I also believe that I stated that you can only use one spirit at a time, though if not I will need to add that. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 26, 2013 What I meant is how long have the Pokespirits been around? Share this post Link to post
Posted July 26, 2013 ...I'd say... Twenty years after their dissapearance? Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2013 Again, do there Pokespirits disappear after age 15? Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2013 Well, I forgot to add the part about time being relevant. Our characters will not age, just to keep it simple, so you don't have to worry about that. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 27, 2013 • Rated M. A lot of hardcore things are going to happen in this roleplay. This is as real as it gets. Random gang signs go here People die, and quite frankly, cannibals kind of exist. However, that being said, there are still some limitations to prevent this from jumping straight to MA territory. First of all, the graphic content of posts must be kept reasonably low. Terrible things happen, yeah, but as shown in the plot if it gets really awful it should be implied instead of explicitly described. If a post is deemed too graphic you will receive a Private Message asking you to edit it. Due to the fact that MA roleplays are completely against the rules, failure to edit posts deemed too mature in a reasonable amount of time will result in me having to ask for moderator help in deleting said post. In terms of romance, there's a strict ban on smut. Um...correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that DC and its forums are supposed to have PG-13 content. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 28, 2013 Well. I guess that is correct. There's going to be a bit of downtime before I can get an updated OP. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 28, 2013 There's a strict content restriction of PG-13 for everything in the forums as a whole, so yes Xiao, you are correct. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 28, 2013 *peeks in* Sorry to interrupt... I believe what Ice is trying to say is that this is going to be a violent RP. There are going to be death and dying people. That's what he means by M. He explains right there that things cannot get out of hand. Thus, he keeps it PG13. Share this post Link to post
Posted July 28, 2013 OP has been edited for grammar and content. If I have missed anything, don't be afraid to speak up about it. Share this post Link to post
Posted August 13, 2013 Well, it has been two weeks! You know what that means? Signups are now OPEN! Share this post Link to post
Posted August 19, 2013 cannot post form now, but will do so later, (2-4 weeks from now,) Share this post Link to post
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