My story: Alone to die

[Richied97]

This is not even close to done. It's a little peak.

 

I need some feedback on plot, ideas, characters, etc.

I've been told its also a fun little read! Thanks everyone!

 

A reply with constructive criticism would be great!

 

 

Here it is

 

 

Alone to Die

By: Richie

 

Mitch awoke to a loud bang in the morning. He sat up startled, and dashed through his house without even taking the chance to look at his clock. As he got to the front door, he heard talking and looked out to see his younger son Mike holding a phone to his ear with his hunting rifle hung over his shoulder. He groaned in relief, and opened his door to greet his son sheepishly. Mike turned sharply to see his father standing in the doorway. He quickly bid goodbye to the stranger on the phone, and looked up at his father grimly. "Mike, what the hell did I tell you?", said Mitch. Mike shrugged and said, "You haven't spoke much, why don't you tell me?". Mitch groaned, "I keep telling you! Don't use that in the morning! I make the rules here until you're 18." "It's already a quarter past one in the afternoon", Mike retorted. Mitch smiled and looked down at his watch. Mike was right, it was late already. He looked back to see Mike smirking, and shook his hand in the air and walked back inside. Mitch went up to his room, and three on some old ripped jeans and a dusty T-shirt. He threw on his favorite sandals and grabbed the keys to his pickup truck. "Mike, I'm running to the store out of town. Stay at home, and be careful." Mitch then climbed into his old blue truck and drove down the bumpy road towards the city. Once he reached the end of the city, he surprised to see the absence of life. He pulled into the parking lot and stepped out of the car. Living in the countryside of Nebraska doesn't give you the luxuries of a city-life. Walking towards the door, Mitch stopped dead in his spot. Realizing there was none but three cars parked there. As he continued his entrance towards the building he noticed a small car with someone in the front seat. "Hey! Do you know any open stores? Hey there!". Frustrated, Mitch walked up to the car then jumped backwards to the horrible sight of a dead man. The man had a large gash in his neck and shoulder with a ripped T-shirt on. There was blood on the partially chipped windows and a blood trail outside the car. Mitch was terrified and backed away in a hurry towards the store as he noticed the smashed window in the shop. He reached into the window ignored the shredded glass stinging into his palm, and pushed through the window. He stood up inside, to see what must have been a chaotic scene. Scanning the building, there was no light except for a few emergency lights flickering in the distance. There were over a dozen bodies laying on the ground, as he walked over and saw various large wounds severed in the bodies. He pondered what horrendous thing would do this. Looking over the bodies, he had enough to the empty store devoid of supplies and ran out to his pickup truck. He slammed on the gas and got out in a hurry. Seeing the lifeless scene which was once a Main Street, he lost thought and drove out of town towards his home. He thought about Mike, thinking he would still be fine due to the crisis at hand. It was late and no cars were to be seen on the road. After about an hour of driving a few miles away from home, he started dozing off thinking. He looked up and scanned the woods hoping he wouldn't get ticketed for his speed. A he drove around a corner, he looked to see a figure stumble awkwardly toward the road. Ignoring it, he blared the horn and sped up. Looking up, the figure sprinted to the road. Mitch screamed and swerved to the side, rolling the car over into the woods to the side with loud smashes. Mitch couldn't moe and was dazed, he looked to his body making sure he was in good condition. His right leg has a large cut in it and he shook it and groaned to the surprising pain. Noticing his totaled car, he reached out the window carefully not putting pressure on his leg. He fell out the window and screamed to the pain on his bleeding leg. He stumbled and got up on one leg with the other in a bent position and went towards the road. A crunch to the left surprised him, and the figure stumbled at him. He screamed, "What do you want?!?"

The figure groaned and got closer. Mitch froze in shock and leaning back on the tree started to get up. The figure gained distance and Mitch viewed the horrible person. The disgusting face has bloody hashes everywhere with no left ear and a burnt left cheek. Pushing his body behind the tree again with his arms, he reached up. The figure grabbed him and bit down trying to get him. He pulled out of reached and kicked back with his working leg. To no avail, he pulled his knife out and waited for it. Grabbing its right arm and left shoulder he pulled and smashed its head into the other side of the tree. Then stumbled and fell next to it, and slashed the knife twice into the monstrous beast's head. He hobbled gaining his breath as he made it up to the road. Feeling a numb pain in his shoulder, he looked down to see a chunk of his shoulder gnashed up from the accident and started to doubt his survival. He screamed for help until his voice croaked, continuing to walk down the road towards the way he was going. As be grew tired, and went towards the side of the road and drank some of his water. Looking into the woods behind himself he noticed at least four more figures limping towards him, again he stared in shock while holding his breath keeping these people from eating him....................

[Richied97]

let me know if you can help with ideas!