Selphy422's Original Fiction!

[Selphy422]

I write original fiction in my spare time and so far have gotten great response from it so far. Since we can post our work here, I thought I'd give a little info about my stories.

 

WARNING: There is mature content in my stories, please read if you are only 18 or older. Read at own discretion.

 

I have my two stories posted on Adutlfanfiction.net and fictionpress.com under the username Karategirl422

 

Summoned - COMPLETE! When Harley's friend Jeff summons a powerful demon for revenge on bullies, it's up to her to stop the bloodshed. But a price must be paid. Never deal with a demon is a lesson learned too late.

 

Bound - SEQUEL TO SUMMONED! Payment has been made and Harley now finds herself in Slaiden's world. Though feeling betrayed, she strives to find a way home. Only Slaiden has big plans for his prize and won't let her go easily.

 

Please check them out if you like, hope you enjoy them!

 

Thanks!

Edited July 12, 2012 by Selphy422

[PhoenixStarr]

I suggest posting at least a direct link and maybe excerpts of your stories here if you're looking for people to read them, because getting there is a lot of trouble.

 

UPDATE Just read chapter one. Your prose is definitely in need of strengthening; the whole chapter reads like a first draft. It is not the most cliche thing I have ever read, but I'd suggest developing your characters and subjecting your main character to the Mary Sue Litmus Test. I'm not trying to be mean, just constructive. I find that people hardly ever give enough constructive criticism.

Edited July 12, 2012 by PhoenixStarr

[Selphy422]

Chapter one is my weakest chapter, I admit that. I do improve in the next few chapters onward because I got a beta reader and she has helped immensely. I do appreciate you're comments, it helps me improve.

 

Once I do a rewrite, I will work on establishing my main character better in chapter one. She becomes a very strong character in my opinion, as the story goes. I did my best not to make her a mary sue. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and a I value yours. Thank you for taking the time to comment.

 

I didnt post a link because I was unsure it was allowed since some boards I use don't allow third party links. If it is allowed, I can adjust that.

Edited July 12, 2012 by Selphy422

[angelicdragonpuppy]

If I might make a teeny suggestion, change the title of this thread to "Selphy422's Original Fiction" or something along those lines? I rolled in here thinking I'd find a thread where everyone could share their original fiction stories, and I imagine others might get confused too. ^^;

[Selphy422]

Oh thanks for the suggestion, I didnt think of that. Thanks very much