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Dauntingale's Poem

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It's a poem. biggrin.gif




The rough hand is all I see,

with my hard heart too heavy.


Encaged in sad dreams,

I can’t understand what this means.

I don't know what’s real,

I'm unsure how to feel.


Perfectly planned,

moving across this whitewashed land.


Lullabies it filled my head with,

tortured as hands moved to sad fifth.

Sweet melodies entangled

pure insanities all mangled.


Black flats move along the line

the leaping strands so very fine.


The menacing finger,

on one mad note it lingers.

Dark undertones in the sweet drifting notes

like hazy smoke under blue sky’s hope.


The worn stool on which he sits,

not moving, not one bit.


I plunge into a world of unknowing families,

where evil equals death with no tranquility.

As the music flows miserably,

they scream out in agony.


His mentality beyond compare,

his feet tap pedals with flair.


The voices of many touch my skin.

Deep and divine like a devious sin,

Their touch like fire,

their need is so dire.


A crowd gathers around

to hear his melancholy sound.


The families seem to be in a rut,

stuck inside their broken down huts.

Tears are streaming down their hands.

Aliens are shouting harsh demands.


I watch his fingers go here and there,

he watches me with great despair.


The mayhem is here

and there is no repair.

With a thunk and a bump,

the whole place has sunk.


A glint in his eyes grows as big as the skies.

And all the while, I search for a demise.


The town has a reputation

for a unique correlation.

They flow with the music

which is not at all strategic.


He’s reaching the climax and the keys ring loud

his face turns proud as a crowd gathers ‘round.


The survivors are found

and they are shot to the ground.

The sound of their bodies falling

is all too appalling.


Abruptly he stops and sets his finger down on a sharp

now playing it like a fragile harp.


The crashes and clashes die away

the reconciliation is not far this May.

Springs are sounding as the creator plays,

sprawling the angels around the sun’s rays.


His foot off the pained pedal,

the crowd is duly disheveled.


As they shine down

upon this broken apart town,

The shadows of dead

rise up on their beds.


His new gentle melody

causes fear in even me.


Before their eyes,

the darkness cries

for it has to go away,

leaving where it once lay.


His major chords

are not anymore bored.


The light is coming,

but the music is not dying.

It is only changing

and all notes are mingling.


He strokes keys swiftly

and not one is lonely.


Many come together and rebuild

Defending the families, all one guild.

The tone no longer dark,

the pitch no longer stark,


He rests on the last notes

and together they all float.


He glances over once again,

only to find me grinning as if I drank gin.


He smiles back,

I turn my back.


I sneak a look behind my shoulder

to see him starting yet another.


I stop in my tracks, eyes growing wide

as I see the keys over which he strides.


Another song entrances me,

I almost prance towards his harmony.


But I must go to the cold

life that I’ve already put on hold.


I sadly plea for him to wait

I’ll be back on another date.


I watch his fingers go here and there,

he watches me with great despair.


The sweet song sitting behind me,

I walk slowly, singing sadly to my own story.

Edited by Dauntingale

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So, this is about a girl with an unforgiving life and family. In the beginning it hints at that with “hard heart” and in quite a few places it mentions family. She also says “cold life” and “sadly to my own story” which makes it more obvious (hopefully).


In the fantasy she was having while he was playing the song on his piano, she saw broken families, but they rebuild at the end and protect one another “defending... all one guild” and come together. This gives her hope that her family can do the same, which is why she’s “grinning as if [she] drank gin” after he plays the last notes.


She wants to stay, but the setting I imagined while writing this was the girl being at the mall with her family, and wandering off on her own. Then, her family finds her or some such thing. Not too clear about that.


She says she puts her “life... on hold” while listening to him, which implies how absorbed she was in his music. She’ll probably sneak back later, shown by the line, “I’ll be back on another date.”


Yeah. Or post how you interpreted this and what you saw.


*Critique and feedback appreciated! Requests too! biggrin.gif

Edited by Dauntingale

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He smiles back,

I turn my back.


That's a bit awkward.


Overall, though, it's beautiful. Perhaps you should write more and post them here as well.

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