Posted May 15, 2012 (edited) The History of the Clans: Many moons ago, the forest was a wilderness, untamed by territories. Cats came into the forest, drawn in by the soft rustlings of small creatures, shadows under the water, and the sudden commotion of birds' wings in the trees. The cats lived in small groups, not yet Clans and, although there were no borders set down, each cat had their own preferred area or territory. The cats fought constantly, fearful that prey might run out and that their overlapping territories were being threatened. It was a lawless, bloody time for the forest, and many cats died. One night, when the moon was full, the cats agreed to meet at a clearing in the forest surrounded by four great oak trees. A terrible battle followed, and soon the ground was wet with spilled blood. Many lives were lost. When the survivors awoke, all around them they saw the spirits of their slain kin, no longer torn and bloodied, but shining like fallen stars. The survivors huddled on the ground, and, as the spirits spoke, they saw terrible visions of the future. They knew that the fighting had to end. "Unite or die," said the spirits. Four cats--Shadow, River, Wind and Thunder--came forward claiming that they could individually unite the forest with their strengths. The spirits of the slain kin spoke again. "The forest is big enough to feed all your families and many more. You must each find other cats like you, choose a home, and set down borders." At that moment, the moon broke free of the clouds, revealing a circle of starlit spirit-cats around the edge of the clearing--StarClan. A white tom spirit-cat stepped forward. "If you do this," he meowed, "we will reward you with eight more lives, so that you may lead your Clans for many moons to come." Then StarClan promised to watch over the Clans from Silverpelt, a crowded path of stars that swept across the night sky. They also promised to visit the Clan leaders in their dreams and guide them on their journeys. The spirit-cats proclaimed that all four Clans would meet at the full moon once a month at the four great oak trees for a night of truce. Thunder, River, Wind and Shadow were pronounced warriors by the spirit-cats. "From now on, you will live by a warrior code. Your hearts will be filled with courage and nobility, and if you must fight, it will be not for greed, but for honor and justice." And so the age of the warrior Clans began--ShadowClan, RiverClan, WindClan and ThunderClan. There was not always peace between the Clans, but that was to be expected--cats are born with teeth and claws for a reason. Still, as long as they lived by the warrior code, their fallen ancestors would watch over them and guide them through their lives. PLOT: It is the Clans' beginnings. Just three sunrises ago was the battle at Fourtrees, and the stench of blood still drifts lazily in the air, driving the Clans to finish making their camps and set down firm borders. However, the borders that seperate the Clans are still unstable, and there are constant border skirmishes. Another threat to the Clans are the wild animals who roam the forest, such as foxes and badgers. Some have been driven out but not without severe injuries and losses. Luckily for the cats, there are no current illnesses going around. The Clans are still growing but are very small and cannot risk another battle such as the one recently fought. You are one of these cats, and you must help your Clan get settled. RULES: 1. Be polite. If someone does something that you don't like, please bring it to PM. I will not tolerate people yelling at each other over things that happen in the RP. 2. My word is law. In this thread, I am in control. (Next to the RP section mods and global mods, of course.) Please take it up with me over PM if you would like something to happen. If I do not agree, please do not make a fuss over it. 3. The password. Password for the form is StarClan. 4. No powerplaying or godmodding. I have a searing hatred for PPing and GMing. I will not tolerate it in this RP. 5. Enjoy the RP! As the first rule says, be polite. It makes it a much better experience for other people in the RP. THE WARRIOR CODE: • 1. You may have friendships with cats from the other Clans, but your loyalty must remain to your own Clan, as one day you may meet the others in battle. • 2. Do not hunt or trespass on another Clan's territory. • 3. Elders and kits must be fed before apprentices and warriors. Unless they have permission, apprentices may not eat until they have hunted to feed the elders. • 4. Prey is killed only to be eaten. Give thanks to StarClan for its life. • 5. A kit must be at least six moons old to become an apprentice. • 6. Newly appointed warriors will keep a silent vigil for one night after receving their warrior name. • 7. A cat cannot be made deputy without having mentored at least one apprentice. • 8. The deputy will become Clan leader when the leader dies or retires. • 9. After the death or retirement of the deputy, the new deputy must be chosen before moonhigh. • 10. A gathering of all four Clans is held at the full moon during a truce that lasts for the night. There shall be no fighting among Clans at this time. • 11. Boundaries must be checked and marked daily. Challenge all trespassing cats. • 12. No warrior may neglect a kit in pain or danger, even if that kit is from different Clan. • 13. The word of the Clan leader is the warrior code. • 14. An honorable warrior does not need to kill other cats to win his battles, unless they are outside the warrior code or it is necessary for self-defense. WARRIOR GLOSSARY: Crow-food: Rotting food Fox dung: An insult; stronger offense than mouse-brain Fresh-kill: Recently killed prey Gatherings: A meeting that the Clans hold in peace at every full moon Greencough: Severe chest infection, which can be fatal in elders and young kits Greenleaf: Summer Housefolk: A housecat's word for its humans Kittypet: A housecat Leaf-bare: Winter Leaf-fall: Fall/Autumn Loner: Cat that lives peacefully on its own in one place but doesn't defend its territory Monster: Usually refers to human machines such as cars and bulldozers Moonhigh: The time of night when the moon is at its highest--often midnight Mouse-brained: Not very smart Mouse dung: An insult; stronger than mouse-brain, but less offensive than fox dung Newleaf: Spring One Moon: One month (half-moon = two weeks, quarter-moon = one week) Rogue: A potentially hostile cat who lives outside the Clans and never spends too long in one place Sharing tongues: Term used to describe cats grooming each other Silverpelt: The Milky Way Sunhigh: Noon Thunderpath: A road Twoleg Nest: A human house Twolegplace: A human town Whitecough: Mild chest infection MAP OF THE TERRITORIES: THE CLANS: ThunderClan Leader: Thunderstar - Dark gray with a light blue tint and black tabby markings. Green eyes. (dangershy) ((Nine Lives Left)) Deputy: Medicine Cat: Roseleaf - Light gray, dappled with white. Has willow leaves stuck in her fur with green eyes. (girlfairy76) Medicine Cat Apprentice: Warriors: Tigermoon - Battle-scarred marble bengal she-cat with large amber amber eyes and a sharp face. She has a slim and slight smaller but strong body. (Dewspirit) Apprentices: Queens: Kits: Amberkit - Dark tabby kit with white underbelly and paws, with pale yellow-green eyes. (Gunia) Elders: RiverClan Leader: Riverstar - Pretty silver she-cat with white paws and shining blue eyes (dangershy) ((Nine Lives Left)) Deputy: Jayfoot - Dark bluish-gray tom. (Lemurtail) Medicine Cat: Medicine Cat Apprentice: Warriors: Apprentices: Queens: Kits: Aveskit - Black, but inside her strands of fur it is white. (RTD) Elders: WindClan Leader: Windstar - Bright white she-cat with very light gray streaks down her fur and sky-blue eyes (dangershy) ((Nine Lives Left)) Deputy: Whitewhisker - Black and white she-cat with yellow eyes and a scar on her ear. Her whiskers are pure white and sometimes flash in the sunlight. (BloodyKisses123) Medicine Cat: Medicine Cat Apprentice: Warriors: Apprentices: Queens: Kits: Elders: ShadowClan Leader: Shadowstar - Very dark gray, almost black with dark brown-gray tabby markings and burning amber eyes. (dangershy) ((Nine Lives Left)) Deputy: Medicine Cat: Medicine Cat Apprentice: Warriors: Apprentices: Queens: Kits: Elders: Random Notes on the Ranks: -Leaders are allowed to go to the Moonstone any time they would like but usually only in times of desperate need. To prevent a leader from reaching the Moonstone is disobeying StarClan. They cannot eat anything before going to the Moonstone. -Deputies and leaders are the only ones who can organize border patrols. -Medicine Cats meet at the Moonstone every half-moon to meet with StarClan. -Medicine Cat Apprentices go with the Medicine Cat to the Moonstone, and when the Medicine Cat believes it is the proper time to, when going to the Moonstone at the half-moon, they will announce that their Apprentice is a Medicine Cat and they will earn a full name. -Warriors can make hunting patrols without leader or deputy's consent. -Apprentices must have either their mentor's or another warrior's permission before doing anything drastic, such as gathering herbs with the Medicine Cat. -Queens are bound to the camp after they give birth to their kits for the first four days of the kits' lives or until they can eat fresh-kill. -Kits are not allowed out of camp, no matter the circumstance, other than if there is a fire or any other natural disaster. -Nothing on Elders. Very Minor Stuff: -Medicine Cats are forbidden from mating. -No Cross-Clan breeding; such as, no father from WindClan and the mother is ShadowClan, etc. Purpose of the Specific Ranks/What It's Like: --Leaders keep the Clan orderly and calm. They also help make descisions in difficult arguments, even if their final choice is the opposite of their descision in the argument. Being the leader is just what it sounds like: lead your Clan! However, the job of the leaders is easier said than done. They must choose the deputy after the old one dies, they must go to the Great Rock and announce different things every Gathering, and the majority of what they do is sharing with StarClan and keeping danger at the fringes. Cats take the leader as their role model; if the leader is calm, the others are as well. If the leader is panicking, the other cats will panic. --Deputies help the leader make descisions. They are also one of two escorts when the leader wishes to go to the Moonstone. Deupties also take over as leader when the old one dies or retires. Another important part is organizing patrols; they must choose which cats go on what patrols, what cat will lead each patrol, and so on. They also substitute as leader if the leader is sick and cannot go to the Gathering. --Medicine Cats and Medicine Cat Apprentices keep the Clan healthy and thriving. However, when leaf-bare comes, they need to store their herbs, especially catmint for greencough. They use many remedies to heal and mend, the most common being marigold and cobweb for wounds. They meet the other Medicine Cats from the other Clans at the Moonstone every half-moon to speak with StarClan. When the Medicine Cat dies, the Medicine Cat Apprentice will take over. --Warriors are the sole heart of the Clan and its defense, offense, and guardians. They also train Apprentices to become Warriors. When having an Apprentice, they are commonly referred to as a mentor. For a Warrior to become a Deputy, they must have had at least one apprentice in their lifetime. --Apprentices are a close second with Warriors when it comes to a Clan's life. If there were no apprentices, the Clan would crumble and collapse in on itself, like a dying star. Apprentices grow to Warriors and Warriors keep the Clan sturdy. Apprentices do minor chores, such as changing bedding, checking the elders for ticks, and so on. --Queens give birth to kits who become apprentices. They stay in the nursery with their kits until they can eat fresh-kill but cannot go for extended periods of time away from camp. --Kits are the start of a Warrior or Medicine Cat life. They will normally show interest at what they prefer and usually become that. --Elders keep the kits busy with their stories, and they make sure that the kits keep out of the Warriors' way. Sometimes they teach them small things, like how to catch minnows when in RiverClan. CEREMONIES: (note: I have a bad memory, doing these from what I can remember.) Leader Deputy goes to the Moonstone when the old leader loses all nine of their lives. -presses nose to Moonstone while shining, goes to sleep- -wakes up in StarClan- -Will not type whole thing, but eight cats will come forwards, each at different times to give the new leader different lives. Note that once they receive their first life, they are immobilized and cannot move until they have gotten all eight lives.- Medicine Cat Apprentice, being made Medicine Cat -Medicine Cat steps forward to Moonstone- Med. Cat: My apprentice, -Med. Cat apprentice name-, has followed the code of the Medicine Cats and have earned their Medicine Cat name. -Med. Cat apprentice name-, I now name you -new Med. Cat name-. Deputy -leader calls for attention after old deputy's death, after having made their decision- Leader: -after calling attention- The spirit of -dead deputy's name- shines down upon us from StarClan. -Warrior Name-, please step forward. You will be our new deputy. Clan: -chants Warrior's name- Kit-to-Apprentice -leader calls for attention- Leader: -after calling attention- Today, -kit names- have become old enough to become apprentices. -First kit name-, please come forward. -After kit has come forward- Do you promise to uphold the duties of an apprentice? Kit: I do. Leader: Then, in the name of StarClan, I give you the name of -apprentice name-. -Warrior name- will be your mentor. -This is repeated until all the kits are made Apprentices, each with a different mentor- Clan: -after done- -chants name of Apprentices- Apprentice-To-Warrior -leader calls for attention- Leader: -after calling attention- -Apprentice name(s)- has/have shown great courage today. -First Apprentice name-, please come forward. -After Apprentice has come forward- -Apprentice name-, do you promise to uphold the duties of a Warrior? Apprentice: I do. Leader: Then, in the name of StarClan, I give you the name of -Warrior name-. Clan: -chants Apprentice's new Warrior name- Warrior-To-Elder (for this, the Warrior must request to become an elder. Usually after a long time of being a Warrior.) -leader calls for attention- Leader: -after calling attention- -Warrior name-, please come forward. -After Warrior has come forward- After your time serving as a Warrior, you have requested to retire to the Elder's den. I shall fufill your request. -Warrior name-, your time serving as a Warrior has come to an end at your request. You have upheld the Warrior code, risking your life to defend it. You have earned the choice of becoming an Elder, and have chosen to follow that path. Clan: -chants Warrior's name- FORM: [b]Username:[/b] [b]Cat Name:[/b] (Stuff like Silverstorm, Jayfeather, Dovewing, Shadepelt, etc. No human-like terms; only stuff relating to cats.) [b]Gender:[/b] (She-Cat or Tom.) [b]Age:[/b] (In moons, please!) [b]Clan:[/b] [b]Rank:[/b] (Leaders are already taken by me. Can only have -TWO- major ranked-cats. (Med. Cat, Med. Cat Apprentice, Deputy)) [b]Appearance:[/b] (What your cat looks like.) [b]Likes/Dislikes:[/b] (Optional.) [b]Talents:[/b] (What they are good at.) [b]Other:[/b] (Anything that doesn't fit into the above. [b]Password:[/b] (Password is in the rules. If you do not have the password, I will not approve.) --PLEASE PM ME YOUR CHARACTER FORMS.-- Edited May 29, 2012 by dangershy Share this post Link to post
Posted May 17, 2012 (edited) -ACCEPTED CHARACTERS- --PM ME YOUR CHARACTER FORMS! IF POSTED HERE, THEY WILL BE IGNORED.-- ----LEMURTAIL---- Username: Lemurtail Cat Name: Jayfoot Gender: Tom Age: 18 moons (1 year and 6 moons) Clan: RiverClan Rank: Deputy Appearance: Dark bluish-gray (like Bluestar) Likes/Dislikes: He loves Salmon, and hates trout. Talents: Sneaking up on an enemy, some say he's decendant from StarClan. Other: N/A Password: Correct Password. ----GIRLFAIRY76---- Username:Girlfairy76 Cat Name: Roseleaf Gender: She-cat Age: 20 moons Clan: ThunderClan Rank: Medicine Cat Appearance: Light gray, dappled with white. Willow leaves stuck between her fur, green eyes. Likes/Dislikes: Hates fighting, loves hunting, loves willow trees. Talents: Curing... stuff. Other: N/A Password: Correct Password. ----RTD---- Username: RTD Cat Name: Aveskit (Basically means Birdkit, non-scientific terms.) Gender: She-kit Age: 5 moons Clan: RiverClan Rank: Kit... Will be an apprentice in a moon Appearance: When you first look at her, she is black, but when you see the inside of the black fur, there is a white inside of the coat. So one strand of hair has two colors. The outer part is blackened and the inner is white. Likes/Dislikes: Likes Fish more than red meat Talents: She can hunt really well and sometimes she is a good fighter, although she is more interested at looking at herbs then in attacking. Other: She's stubborn. Password: Correct Password. ----GUNIA---- Username: Gunia Cat Name: Amberkit(wing) Gender: She-kit Age: 5 ½ moons Clan: ThunderClan Rank: Kit Appearance: Likes/Dislikes: Likes Sharing tounges, Leaf-fall, rabbit, and playing. Dislikes Leaf-bare, chores, Twolegs, and monsters. Talents: Hunting and climbing. Other: She can't wait to be an apprentice! Password: Correct Password. ----DEWSPIRIT---- Username: Dewspirit Cat Name: Tigermoon Gender: She-cat Age: 25 Moons Clan: ThunderClan Rank: Warrior Appearance:Battle-scarred marbel begal she-cat with large amber amber eyes and a sharp face. She has a slim and slight smaller but strong body Likes/Dislikes: Hates getting wet, dosent like cats who moan constantly over stupid things or cats who think they're great. Loves the sun and has had a crush on Thunderstar since they were young when she first sought a friend in him. Loves the forest. Talents: Fighting, tracking, climbing Other: She loses her temper very easily, but she learns very quickly from her mistakes. She will stand up for what she believes in and will die for Thunderstar and ThunderClan. She is extremely loyal and has a sharp tongue. You dont want an enemy out of her,but the ones that matter most to her know that she can be as kind and caring as she can be as dangerous and risky. Is also very smart. --WILL BE THUNDERSTAR'S MATE LATER ON IN THE ROLEPLAY.- Password: Correct Password ----BLOODYKISSES123---- Username: Bloodykisses123 Cat Name: Whitewhisker Gender: She-cat Age: 19 moons Clan: WindClan Rank: Deputy Appearance: Likes/Dislikes: likes- hunting with her clan, helping her leader, practice fights, etc. Dislikes- dogs, badgers, foxes, most ShadowClan cats, etc. Talents: Fighting, hunting, organizing patrols, giving advice. Other: Her whiskers are pure white and sometimes flash in the sunlight. She has a scar on her ear, clipping the top and making it jagged. Password: Correct Password ----RAINPELTSTAR---- Username: rainpeltstar Cat Name: Rainleaf Gender: She-cat Age: 8 moons Clan: Riverclan Rank: Medicine cat Appearance: White with black tabby markings and blue eyes. Likes/Dislikes: Likes the sun and the water. Talents: Has good memory and is nimble. Other: None Password: Correct Password. Edited May 30, 2012 by dangershy Share this post Link to post
Posted May 17, 2012 Username:Snowstar44 Cat name:Snowfire Gender:tom Age:23 moons Clan:ThunderClan Rank:Deputy Appearance:pure white with sapphire-blue eyes and ginger fore-paws Likes/Dislikes:N/A Talents:hunting,tracking,swiming Other: (Anything that doesn't fit into the above. Password:StarClan Share this post Link to post
Posted May 18, 2012 Snowstar, PM any forms. *pokes at the RP Approvers/RP Section Mods* Is any of yous alive? D: Share this post Link to post
Posted May 18, 2012 Wait, since this is the beginning, does the Code exist yet? Do all the cats need a suffix? Share this post Link to post
Posted May 19, 2012 I'd like to see a little more plot or some sort of story arc. What kind of things are happening? What kind of obstacles are we facing in trying to unite and such? Do we just pick a clan or is that still being sorted out/something we'll be RP'ing? Share this post Link to post
Posted May 21, 2012 Wait, since this is the beginning, does the Code exist yet? The story of the beginning shows that StarClan gave the cats a code to live by at first. Thunder, River, Wind and Shadow were pronounced warriors by the spirit-cats. "From now on, you will live by a warrior code. Your hearts will be filled with courage and nobility, and if you must fight, it will be not for greed, but for honor and justice." And so the age of the warrior Clans began--ShadowClan, RiverClan, WindClan, and ThunderClan. Bolded text suggests that there was the Code in the beginning. Do all the cats need a suffix? I do believe so. The Clans are ThunderClan, so why not have Owlclaw? Shadepelt? - Do we just pick a Clan or is that still being sorted out/something we'll be RP'ing? You just pick your Clan, but if one Clan gets too many warriors/apprentices, then that Clan will be closed from joining until the others are filled. Since it's the beginning, I would believe that it's mostly loners and strayed kittypets that help form the Clans, since: One night, when the moon was full, the cats agreed to meet at a clearing in the forest surrounded by four great oak trees. A terrible battle followed, and soon the ground was wet with spilled blood. Many cats died that night. When the survivors awoke, all around them they saw the spirits of their slain kin, no longer torn and bloodied, but shining like fallen stars. The survivors huddled on the ground, and, as the spirits spoke, they saw terrible visions of the future. They knew that the fighting had to end. This suggests that many cats died, leaving few cats to make the Clans. I will accept loners, but they must already be in the Clans. So no loners that are going to join the Clans. I'd like to see a little more plot or some sort of story arc. What kind of things are happening? What kind of obstacles are we facing in trying to unite and such? I will add in more stuff to the plot. Done. In fact, I had to delete the one I had before and then rewrite it to thread all of that into the fact that it was the beginning, the borders were unstable, and that there were constant skirmishes over the territories. Share this post Link to post
Posted May 22, 2012 Cats came into the forest, drawn in by the soft rustlings of small creatures, shadows under the water, and the sudden commotion of birds' wings in the trees. I just personally find 'birds' wings in the trees' kind of awkward. If you talk about birds rustling about in the trees, I can pretty much gather their wings have something to do with that. x3 The cats lived in small groups, not yet Clans and there were no borders set down. Should be another comma after Clans, I think. It's also a little repetitive to say no borders here and no territories in your first sentence. Not too bothersome, but something to think about. *reads the sentence* Owait. I'm a little confused why there aren't borders if there are territories? How does this work? o.o Many cats died that night. Perhaps try just different wording, as you've used 'many cats died' just a little earlier? Many lives were lost, perhaps. Although, with the sentences before and after, you could also leave this out. ^^ A white tom spirit-cat stepped forward. "If you do this," he meowed, "we will reward you with eight more lives, so that you may lead your Clans for many moons to come." Then StarClan promised to watch over the Clans from Silverpelt, a crowded path of stars that swept across the night sky, and to visit the Clan leaders in their dreams and to guide them on their journeys. The spirit-cats proclaimed that all four Clans would meet at the full moon once a month at the four great oak trees for a night of truce. Since this bit is a new spirit talking, this should start on a new line. Also, the 'Then StarCan promised' sentence is a little confusing due to length and all the 'and's. Is there any way to split that up a little? Then StarClan promised to watch over the Clans from Silverpelt, a crowded path of stars that swept across the night sky. They also promised to visit the Clan leaders in their dreams and guide them on their journeys. And so the age of the warrior Clans began--ShadowClan, RiverClan, WindClan, and ThunderClan. Why did you use the oxford comma here but not in two of the above sentences? o.o "Thunder, River, Wind and Shadow were pronounced warriors by the spirit-cats." "Four cats--Shadow, River, Wind and Thunder--came forward claiming that they could individually unite the forest with their strengths." The Clans are driven by this smell to finish making their camps and set down firm borders. This sentence is a little awkward. Maybe something like: Just three sunrises ago was the battle at Fourtrees, and the stench of blood still drifts lazily in the air, driving the Clans to finish making their camps and set down firm borders. Some have been driven out, but not without severe injuries and losses. No comma. Luckily for the cats, though, is that there are no current illnesses going around. Erase 'is that'. The Clans are still growing, but are very small and cannot risk another battle such as the one recently fought. No comma. Very good! :3 Just looking over the rest of the information, perhaps just a tiny bit on what it means for the cats to be like the leader? "You must each find other cats like you, choose a home, and set down borders." Share this post Link to post
Posted May 22, 2012 I'm a little confused why there aren't borders if there are territories? How does this work? o.o What? Now you're confusing me. The story is all before the current timeframe of the RP. There were no borders or territories when they were 'small groups and not yet Clans.' OH WAIT. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAAAN. Took me a second. untamed by territories You must've thought that it said tamed by territories. Erase 'is that'. "Luckily for the cats, though, there are no current illnesses going around." Now it sounds weird to me ._. But minus the 'though': "Luckily for the cats, there are no current illnesses going around." Maybe like that? Just looking over the rest of the information, perhaps just a tiny bit on what it means for the cats to be like the leader? "You must each find other cats like you, choose a home, and set down borders." But where would I put 'what it means for the cats to be like the leader'? .3. And my brain has fried from tons of math I did a few minutes ago, canyou please tell me why you put the last part there? .-. ((Just one little thing in your post made me lol so hard, Sock. Also, the 'Then StarCan promised' A can of star?)) Share this post Link to post
Posted May 22, 2012 What? Now you're confusing me. The story is all before the current timeframe of the RP. There were no borders or territories when they were 'small groups and not yet Clans.' OH WAIT. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAAAN. Took me a second. untamed by territories You must've thought that it said tamed by territories. Not quite. owo Many moons ago, the forest was a wilderness, untamed by territories.1 Cats came into the forest, drawn in by the soft rustlings of small creatures, shadows under the water, and the sudden commotion of birds' wings in the trees. The cats lived in small groups, not yet Clans and there were no borders set down.2 The cats fought constantly, fearful that prey might run out and that their overlapping territories 3 were being threatened. At first, 3 tripped me up because of 1. Then I figured that there just weren't territories before the cats. However, now I'm wondering why there are no borders (2), but their territories are overlapping (3). o.o "Luckily for the cats, there are no current illnesses going around." Maybe like that? Yes, that is fine. But where would I put 'what it means for the cats to be like the leader'? .3. Anywhere you want. As a quick explanation after the quote where that's said or as a quick explanation around when they split into clans. A small, separate section all to itself? It's your RP. Where do you think it'll fit? :3 And my brain has fried from tons of math I did a few minutes ago, canyou please tell me why you put the last part there? .-. So you would know where I was talking about. ((Just one little thing in your post made me lol so hard, Sock. Whoops! I giggle at this every time: "If you do this," he meowed, "we will reward you with eight more lives, so that you may lead your Clans for many moons to come." A wise spirit meowing just seems cute and funny to me. =p Share this post Link to post
Posted May 22, 2012 (Derp, on phone now. Can't edit OP, will need to wait until tomorrow afternoon.) I understand it fine, but yet it's hard to explain. There are no truly firm territories, so the cats just sort of chose where they wanted to stay, and lived there until the battle. So, all the scents were overlapping on/in the 'territories'. ...Does that make any sense? Share this post Link to post
Posted May 22, 2012 (edited) Hmm, yeah, that sort of makes sense. Umm, lemme see if I can't help come up with something to help make this clearer for people like me. x3 Edited May 23, 2012 by SockPuppet Strangler Share this post Link to post
Posted May 22, 2012 Maybe make so that the leaders generally have an idea of where the borders are, but some territories has to be fought over or negotiated? Just throwing an idea out there. Share this post Link to post
Posted May 22, 2012 Maybe make so that the leaders generally have an idea of where the borders are, but some territories has to be fought over or negotiated? Just throwing an idea out there. *pokes the Clans area, and the leaders* -Thunderstar (dangershy) -Shadowstar (dangershy) -Windstar (dangershy) -Riverstar (dangershy) Doopdedo. :L Share this post Link to post
Posted May 23, 2012 (edited) Many moons ago, the forest was a wilderness, untamed by territories. Cats came into the forest, drawn in by the soft rustlings of small creatures, shadows under the water, and the sudden commotion of birds' wings in the trees. The cats lived in small groups, not yet Clans and, although there were no borders set down, each cat had their own preferred area or territory. The cats fought constantly, fearful that prey might run out and that their overlapping territories were being threatened. It was a lawless, bloody time for the forest, and many cats died. Maybe something like that? Just a small addition of explanation. Edited May 23, 2012 by SockPuppet Strangler Share this post Link to post
Posted May 23, 2012 Done! ^^ Even added a 'Purpose of Rank/What It's Like' section. Share this post Link to post
Posted May 24, 2012 Derp! *runs off to fix* I was in a hurry because my mom was screaming at me to get off the computer. xP Done! Anything else, o Master of Socks? x3 Share this post Link to post
Posted May 24, 2012 Housefolk: A housecat's word for its humans Kittypet: A house cat Why is house cat one word and then two? o.o -Leaders are allowed to go to the Moonstone any time they would like, but usually only in times of desperate need. No comma. -Deputies are the only ones who can organize border patrols other than the leader. The wording is a little odd. How about "--Deputies and leaders are the only ones who can organize border patrols." or something? Purpose of the specific Ranks/What It's Like: Specific should be capitalized. However, the job of the leaders are easier said than done. is easier They must choose the deputy after the old one dies, they must go to the Great Rock and announce different things every Gathering, and the majority is sharing with StarClan and keeping danger at the fringes. "choose a new deputy" The majority of what? Cats take the leader as their role model; if the leader is calm, the others are, as well. No second comma (the one after are). If the leader is panicy, the other cats will panic. Since panicy isn't a word, how about 'panicking'. Another important part is organizing patrols; they must choose which cats go on what patrols, what cat will lead each patrol, and so on. An important part of what? If a Warrior becomes Deputy, they must have had at least one apprentice in their lifetime. For a Warrior to become a Deputy --Apprentices are a close second with Warriors. A close second? o.O I don't understand. D| They stay in the nursery with their kits until they can eat fresh-kill, but cannot go for extended periods of time away from camp. No comma. Looking good to me. :3 Share this post Link to post
Posted May 24, 2012 (edited) You should also add that when Deputies are chosen, they must not be a queen at the moment otherwise they won't be chosen. However, leaders can have kits and mates. And when kits become apprentices, they have to sit vigil guarding the camp for one night and not talk to anyone. It's also taboo to play with prey after it is killed. Edited May 24, 2012 by rainpeltstar Share this post Link to post
Posted May 24, 2012 The spirits of the slain kin spoke again, "The forest is big enough to feed all your families and many more. You must each find other cats like you, choose a home, and set down borders." Should be a period not a comma after again. --------------------------- Another threat to the Clans are the wild animals of whom roam the forest, such as foxes and badgers. Should be: Another threat to the Clans are the wild animals who roam the forest, such as foxes and badgers. -------------------------- You may have friendships with cats from the other Clans, but your loyalty must remain to your Clan, as one day you may meet them in battle. This sounds as though you may meet your own Clan in battle, instead of the other Clans. How about: You may have friendships with cats from the other Clans, but your loyalty must remain to your own Clan, as one day you may meet the others in battle. -------------------------- Do not hunt or tresspass on another Clans' territory. Should be: Do not hunt or trespass on another Clan's territory. -------------------------- Elders and kts must be fed before apprentices and warriors. I think you mean kits, yes? -------------------------- Give thanks to StarClan for its like. Should like be life? -------------------------- Rouge: A potentially hostile cat who lives outside the Clans and never spends too long in one place Rouge is red; do you mean Rogue? --------------------------- Sharing tounges: Term used to desctibe cats grooming each other Should be Sharing tongues: Term used to describe cats grooming each other --------------------------- You're leading all four Clans? That's a lot of work! --------------------------- If the leader is panicy, the other cats will panic. Spelling: panicky --------------------------- However, when leaf-bare comes, they need to store their herbs, espically catmint for greencough. Spelling: especially --------------------------- Share this post Link to post
Posted May 25, 2012 (edited) Rainbutt, it's apprentice to warrior, not kit to apprentice. That's in the Code, silly. (Last sentence of your post) *gnaws on Lagie* Hai~ I get rouge and rogue mixed uuup x-x French language, y u have similar spellings for English/American terms?! Edited May 25, 2012 by dangershy Share this post Link to post
Posted May 25, 2012 Err, the female leader can't have kits. Teu can have past kit, I think... Hmm... -rubs chin- ice never seen a female leader have kits(Leopardstar) Share this post Link to post
Posted May 26, 2012 It's still only the beginning, gf. And I have all the leaders. Share this post Link to post
Posted May 26, 2012 > -backs away- oh, nvm And all of them are males? o3o Share this post Link to post
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