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Obscure_Trash

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ARGH!

ALL MY HATCHLINGS KEEP GENDERING FEMALE WHEN I REALLY NEED A MALE!

THIS.

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Bah, I'm sick of living in a house where I have to chose between showering in a bathroom with poop smeared on the walls or the one with giant freaking spiders. I'm sick of my brother refusing to wash his hands, close the doors, or flush the toilet when he uses the bathroom. I hate when he wipes his poop on anything nearby. I hate when he throws poopy toilet paper on the floor instead of flushing down the toilet. No, I don't want to get up in the middle of the night to brush my teeth just to have to see my brother walk into the hallway wearing nothing at all on his bottom half to check who is in the bathroom.

 

I'M SICK OF THE CONSTANT DISGUST!

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MY DAD MADE ME STOP READING THE MARQUEE HALF-WAY THROUGH!!!!

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WTF?! JUST GOT A THREE DAY SUSPENSION FROM THE HOWRSE FORUMS!! WHY? BECAUSE I WROTE THE WORD "NAZI"! censorkip.gifcensorkip.gif!

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I ****ED UP, OKAY? I FEEL HORRIBLE. I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT. I SAY STUPID THINGS SOMETIMES. BUT YOU WON'T EVEN GIVE ME A CHANCE TO APOLOGIZE. I HAVEN'T BEEN HAVING THE EASIEST TIME, EITHER.

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INVISIONFREE. Why the hell do you have a 20k character limit on SKIN MAKING? >:| I need 25k characters here, you jerk.

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WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!!

 

WHY DO I START TO CRY WHEN I LOOK AT MY EMAILS, HEAR PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT MONEY AND SUCH.

 

IS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO GIVE ME A DAMN JOB, I'VE ONLY BEEN ACTIVELY SEARCHING FOR ONE FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS!!!

 

IS THAT TOO HARD?

no?

OH THE WHY THE CAN YOU GIVE EVERYONE ELSE WHO WENT THROUGH SCREENING AND VETTING AS WELL BEFORE ME. EVEN WHEN THEY BLATANTLY APPLIED AND PAST THEIR INTERVIEW AFTER ME.

 

OHHHH i GET IT IT CAUSE YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT SOMEONE WHO OWNS NOTHING BUT WHATS IN THERE BAG. DOESN'T HAVE MORE THAN 89 FRIGGING PENCE TO THERE NAME AND NEEDS A JOB BEFORE THEY GO INSANE OR JUST STOP CAREING AND GIVE UP ON EVERYTHING.

 

IS IT TOO HARD TO ASK FOR A JOB? all I want to do is support myself and you are denying me this ability.

 

I'd rather die than ask the government for help again!

you know what they did?

I asked for frigging help and they denied me, even though i evidently needed it.

Oh i'm sorry is your aim in life to put 99% of the population in to poverty?!

Yes?

 

GREAT JOB YOUR DOING FINE! "£$%^&

 

In the end i'm going to have to quit everything and die ain't I! You worthless humans in a worthless world and your worthless governments can keep MESSING things up all you want.

 

I AM THROUGH WITH YOU ALL! THROUGH!!!

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Right...so I'm bored. CPA is closed atm. Joy.

College is coming up and i'm freaking a bit... ok, so that's a lie. I am freaking out a lot!

 

My dad is being a... My mom is stressed but she does her best to hide it. Any empathic idiot can tell that. hehe.

I slowly growing more insane. I feel so frigging dumb. I have work but I still feel worthless. The lady died and I felt nothing. Awesomeness. Blah. *continues to mutter under her breath*

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Gah. Bitten by so many mosquitoes. So itchy. Why won't the mosquitoes leave? Ow... I scratched the bite too much. It hurts. And CPA is closed. So itchy...

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I feel like I should be mad...I am mad. I am very mad. But I just can't be mad...I'm too tired. I am so tired of this all. Yes I hold you accountable. I hold her accountable too...but she didn't freggin sleep with him. You know what? I just can't care anymore. My heart is broken. I feel so broken inside. Yet I can't stop caring. My curse is to care about people, even those I barely know. And lots of people have it worse so why am I complaining? I just wanna stop feeling so broken. Dear God help me. I cursing more. I feel bitter. I like being a loner with the kids around me. I am losing my patience more often. I mean I got mad at mom for something simple and stupid. I feel like I needa figure out who I am. *glances up* Get the freak outta my room. Stop trying to start fights. bleh...

 

I just feel so boxed in. I needa be able to feel again. I don't feel anything. That lady died and I felt nothing. Someone hugged me and I felt nothing. And now I'm crying like a friggin baby. Wonderful. This is madness. Bleh, I want my life back. I want to stop feeling other people's emotions and feel my own. *sigh* I miss Cpa too. Hah. The chan is filled with stuff that annoys me atm. No one listens to me either. Heh. Whenever I speak my mind, people get all offended. And I can't have my opinion? What the freak is up with that. I listen to what people say and don't say a single freaking thing against it. Then I say my opinion and I get jumped. Heh. Awesome.

 

I feel like trash. Why? Why can't I feel worth something. I'm an emotionally broken girl who hides her true feelings. But sometimes these hidden emotions just hit me front on. *sigh* It will go back to normal soon enough. I just have to keep up my facade up a little longer then I will beback to my chipperself. Providing he shuts the freak up.

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ROAR!!!! My sister is criticizing me. Me so mad at her!! Why can't she just stay outta my business?!?!!

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I feel like I should be mad...I am mad. I am very mad. But I just can't be mad...I'm too tired. I am so tired of this all. Yes I hold you accountable. I hold her accountable too...but she didn't freggin sleep with him. You know what? I just can't care anymore. My heart is broken. I feel so broken inside. Yet I can't stop caring. My curse is to care about people, even those I barely know. And lots of people have it worse so why am I complaining? I just wanna stop feeling so broken. Dear God help me. I cursing more. I feel bitter. I like being a loner with the kids around me. I am losing my patience more often. I mean I got mad at mom for something simple and stupid. I feel like I needa figure out who I am. *glances up* Get the freak outta my room. Stop trying to start fights. bleh...

 

I just feel so boxed in. I needa be able to feel again. I don't feel anything. That lady died and I felt nothing. Someone hugged me and I felt nothing. And now I'm crying like a friggin baby. Wonderful. This is madness. Bleh, I want my life back. I want to stop feeling other people's emotions and feel my own. *sigh* I miss Cpa too. Hah. The chan is filled with stuff that annoys me atm. No one listens to me either. Heh. Whenever I speak my mind, people get all offended. And I can't have my opinion? What the freak is up with that. I listen to what people say and don't say a single freaking thing against it. Then I say my opinion and I get jumped. Heh. Awesome.

 

I feel like trash. Why? Why can't I feel worth something. I'm an emotionally broken girl who hides her true feelings. But sometimes these hidden emotions just hit me front on. *sigh* It will go back to normal soon enough. I just have to keep up my facade up a little longer then I will beback to my chipperself. Providing he shuts the freak up.

*hugs* I don't have anything to rant about, but I hope everything straightens out sooner or later. You're always free to talk to me if you want to talk to someone. =(

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I feel like I should be mad...I am mad. I am very mad. But I just can't be mad...I'm too tired. I am so tired of this all. Yes I hold you accountable. I hold her accountable too...but she didn't freggin sleep with him. You know what? I just can't care anymore. My heart is broken. I feel so broken inside. Yet I can't stop caring. My curse is to care about people, even those I barely know. And lots of people have it worse so why am I complaining? I just wanna stop feeling so broken. Dear God help me. I cursing more. I feel bitter. I like being a loner with the kids around me. I am losing my patience more often. I mean I got mad at mom for something simple and stupid. I feel like I needa figure out who I am. *glances up* Get the freak outta my room. Stop trying to start fights. bleh...

 

I just feel so boxed in. I needa be able to feel again. I don't feel anything. That lady died and I felt nothing. Someone hugged me and I felt nothing. And now I'm crying like a friggin baby. Wonderful. This is madness. Bleh, I want my life back. I want to stop feeling other people's emotions and feel my own. *sigh* I miss Cpa too. Hah. The chan is filled with stuff that annoys me atm. No one listens to me either. Heh. Whenever I speak my mind, people get all offended. And I can't have my opinion? What the freak is up with that. I listen to what people say and don't say a single freaking thing against it. Then I say my opinion and I get jumped. Heh. Awesome.

 

I feel like trash. Why? Why can't I feel worth something. I'm an emotionally broken girl who hides her true feelings. But sometimes these hidden emotions just hit me front on. *sigh* It will go back to normal soon enough. I just have to keep up my facade up a little longer then I will beback to my chipperself. Providing he shuts the freak up.

*Hugs evangeline, and gives her a flippin cookie the size of china*

 

It'll all get better. About the lady, are you/did you go to her funeral? My great grandma died, and I loved and knew her very much, but when I was first told, all I could say was "Oh my god", didn't cry, didn't get depressed, until I went to her funeral, and me and my mom (who was absolutley devastated first anyway) were bawling our eyes out.

 

I can only imagine how you feel though.I hope you feel better soon.

 

 

Anyway my rant is that the economy in U.S.A still freakin sucks, and everyone asks me who I would vote for, and I say

 

1. I care about this as much as I do P.E.

 

2. Why don't the two front runners give up and put someone up there who will actually change things, tell the truth, and stop speaking jibberish!

 

So, anyway, how about your life?

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Panicking over exam results. I get them one day before my birthday T __ T I tried so hard on the exams, but I don't think it was hard enough. I need pretty low grades to go to art college/Uni, but I'm not exactly smart when it comes to academics so I'm pretty sure I won't get them.

 

If I've failed, there's a SLIM chance, I'll do a third year at my current college. But if not, I'm pretty much screwed for the rest of my life... Q __Q at least in terms of getting art qualifications higher than a college A-Level...

 

For people in the USA: Here in the UK, College and University are two different things. You go to college before University.

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Now why did that bird have to take a dump on my shoulder? WHY? I was trying to fish and you empty your disgusting bodily things onto me OF ALL THE AREAS IT HITS ME?!?!?! And why did I only catch the bluegill? Well atlest I took an ultra shower

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Freaking big truck in our driveway. All for a washing machine.

Edited by rampaging wyvern

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STOOPID MOSQUITOES KEEPING ME UP HALF THE NIGHT!

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ASDFGSJUD;UBIGP I HAVE TO DEAL WITH ENOUGH OF YOU LOT AT HOME.

 

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT WOULD YOU JUST FLIPPIN' ADMIT IT ALREADY ASDF.

NOTHING.

 

:|

 

I hate people sometimes rage rawr ainfspongfdog I don't wanna wait five years because you guys are narrow minded idiots afso[gndf

Edited by Switch

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I'm so sick of my dad moving everywhere! It means i have to follow him! I would rather stay in Australia then move to Canada (No offence all Canadians) But seriously, Im at my 12th freaking school and i'm sick of moving. I HATE GOING TO NEW SCHOOLS. I'm always the freaky new kid, whos pretty but is a nerd for going on these websites, and who cuts herself. I'm always that new kid. I wish i didn't have to move cause seriosuly I'm sick of it. I just want to die in a hole sad.gif

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Why is iTunes such a pig!? It has taken me an hour to download one album from the iTunes Store and another half hour to sync my phone. Not to mention when my laptop froze and crashed and then when iTunes itself froze and crashed, twice! It's supposed to be bad if you don't sync your phone regularly--- which I know for a fact because my album art got messed up I went so long without syncing--- but there's a reason I put it off as long as I can! I HATE ITUNES!!!!

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Venting... Oh sweet blissful venting.

 

So I was quitting the job that I loved. I loved it with all my heart but I did not think that I was able of doing the job. I didn't want to compete for hours anymore, and I simply didn't feel comfortable with what was going on. So, last night I cried and I cried, and I wrote a resignation letter, dropped it off giving my two week notice. I was going to go in this morning to take care of the animals, but I didn't because I was exhausted from crying last night. It was a good night. Can you feel my sarcasm?

 

So today, I don't know where I had put my phone, I found it under the couch, but I couldn't find it. So, I walked into work without it, 45 minutes early, and went about doing my job as I normally do. Went to check on the animals out back. Went and started to do stock up. Just generally doing my job.

 

For one reason or another, I stopped to look to see who I was working with tonight. Well, I noticed two people on the schedule at the same time as I was. I paused. That wasn't right. We only work two people at a time in the store. So I flip down to my hours... Guess what! I'm scratched off of the store hours. Isn't that ****ing GREAT!

 

Then, feeling quite hurt since the boss was out of town, so someone aside from him had gone and read the letter, and I hadn't had a confirmed contact with the boss saying I wasn't making it tonight, I was just like that, swept under the rug and my shift replaced.

 

I've been fretting all day today. I've been fretting all yesterday. I've been crying about this whole mess since LAST FRIDAY. Just not knowing what I was going to do, and unable to really approach anyone about it because I didn't see it as a problem. I saw it as myself being unable to carry through the job. Simply not good enough for it. I wanted the job to succeed to the best that it could, and I just wasn't the person that they needed.

 

I LOVED my job. I would have gone in every night at midnight had they needed me to. They could call me up thirty minutes before a shift started and asked me to come in. They said jump. I said how high. I wanted to improve. I wanted to get better, but the more I looked at certain quality traits that I had and compared myself to the others... I was missing something. I was missing that speed. I'm naturally slower at doing things, and I'm meticulous. I loved everyone I had worked with. Absolutely loved them. Would have done anything for any of them...

 

And then I see that... No one told me when I walked into work. I made myself look like a fool and that's exactly what I feel like. A gool. A fool for letting a job hurt me so much. A fool for quitting when I loved it knowing the consequences. A fool for wanting to do everything for them. Just generally, I'm an idiot...

 

But I never expected to walk in to that... To have that hurt so much. I knew he didn't believe in two week notices... I knew it.

 

Somehow, I thought I was going to be treated differently. Somehow, I thought I was going to be given a chance... How I was wrong.

 

 

 

OH! On top of that... My glasses broke. Again. Whoop. Ti. ****ing. Doo.

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*sighs* Sometimes I feel like everyone hates me and the world is against me. I feel that people avoid or reject me because of my sudden outbursts of randomness and my craziness. It only exists as a wall, like my writing and drawing. It blocks me from thinking about everything going on in my life.

 

I swear to god that my life Is screwed up right now. I do not wish to post it here... but some bits I need to tell about.

 

First fifth grade year

There was a new kid. His name is Eric. I thought he'd be nice enough. He likes to draw, like me, only he draws more stick figures and fighting while I prefer to draw animals. But the first day is always hard for me because I get to see all my old friends. My craziness imploded on me and came out at recess, and Eric, Gavin and Kaleb ended up being the middle of it. I started chasing them around. Recess ended before I caught any of them, though. But while I was chasing them Eric was yelling stuff at me. I can't remember what he was saying. That was the end of the first day of school. Later in the year, Eric, Gavin, Kaleb and I were eating lunch together. I can't remember how, but we ended up talking about our families. I told them about me not living with my mom. They started taking that, using It as their own joke against me, saying stuff like, 'you were abandoned at a doorstep at birth', 'your mom doesn't actually love you' and stuff like that. I got eventually frustrated with this and started to counter it. The school year ended before we were done.

 

Second fifth grade year

I had many reactions to finding out that I was held back and that my least favorite teacher was gone and replaced by my neighbor. My first reaction was happiness, as I was able to be with my favorite teacher again and I had my neighbor as my other teacher. Weariness was my second reaction, as there would be around 40 new classmates. My third reaction was sadness, as some of my oldest friends were leaving me behind. Then I started thinking. Millions of questions invaded my thoughts at day, and stole my sleep at night. I finally pushed them out of my mind until the first day of school. Some, but very few, were kind to me. Most others seemed to ignore me or just avoided me. Some were actually a bit rude. I started figuring out who I could trust and who to avoid. I had a very short list of people who I could trust. Later In the year, Eric and co. had PE the same day and time as 5th grade recess. The same craziness from the previous year returned and I gave chase. My classmates saw this and mistook it. When we went back in from recess, I heard quiet mocks, like, 'she loves Eric'. A bit later on one of my classmates openly taunted me, shouting, 'I heaaart Eric, I heart Eric!~' while making a heart shape with his hands. Dread filled me. It was the same as last year, only a much larger force. I tried to ignore them by reading. Most of the time it worked, but sometimes they managed to break through my iron wall of books and Ideas. I tried not to let It get to me, but it just hurt me on the Inside. Lots of stuff had happened and I was emotionally unstable. They saw this and used it to their advantage. I finally got sick of it and began shutting down to an empty shell until my emotions were stable again. I spoke and answered bluntly, no feeling in my voice. My few friends saw this and tried to get me out. Their attempts did nothing to soothe me or repulse me. When I felt that my emotions had reconstructed enough, I slowly came out, ready to withdraw again if needed. After I had finally come out, I made sure to stay near the teachers often as possible. The last couple of months went by, nothing major happened, and thus leading to today.

 

I just needed to get all of that out. If you really wish to know specifically how my life at the moment Is screwed up, pm me. I may or may not respond, everything depends.

Edited by dangershy

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I have to be to work by 9:55, so I can turn on all the lights, turn on the comp and get the bookdrop.

 

I like to get breakfast before I have to work.

 

I sat for 5 minutes on a road not 15 feet across from the Dunkin Donuts I get my breakfast from and no one would let me across the darn street. 5 minutes. And several people who, if they had turned on their blinkers, I could have gone before them.

 

Instead, when I'm finally able to pull in, there are 6 cars in the drive through and I have 5 mins to make it to work.

 

So now I'm at work with nothing to eat, boderline diabetic... wonder how long it will take me to pass out.

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My uncle convinced my grandmother to make us remove all the stuff from the storage room in the basement. Let's just ignore the fact that we've stored stuff there for 25+ years without problems. But, as soon as my uncle comes in and complains that we have too much stuff, it's "You need to pick up your stuff right now!!". Not because my grandmother needs the room (she can't even walk down to the basement anymore, anyway) it's because my uncle doesn't approve of us storing things. Did I mention that he owns a mansion of a house, so storage isn't a problem for him? Of course, we don't have additional storage in our little house. JUST... NO. JUST ARRRRG. censorkip.gif

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